Californication

I went back and looked because you never know what they’reexposed to on the Internet and it was on my computer and I saw ‘bears’and it gives you like 10 options or whatever. On the fourth or fifthoption was a gay magazine ’cause a bear is a very hairy gay man…Icould not rack my brain around the idea of my daughter — she probablydidn’t — I could only hope she didn’t open up her fifth open, whichwas to look at these hairy men and what she thought, you know, ‘Whatkind of bear is that?’

As for Miller, no such issues with the World Wide Web justyet. The only thing he’s concerned with nowadays is money, David, 47,says.

He’s a miser. I’m half-Jewish and half-Scottish, so he hadno shot with the money, so he just hoards. He’s got all these dollarbills and puts it in a lunch box. He’s got $170 and he wants an iPod,but he doesn’t want to pay for it — he wants us to buy it.

I said, ‘You have enough money, buy yourself an iPod.’ Andhe’s like, ‘No, ’cause then I won’t have any money left.’ So I said, ‘Howmuch money are you gonna save?’ ‘I’m gonna get a million dollars.’ ‘Andthen what are you gonna do?’ He said, ‘Spend a dollar.’

Miller might want to work on his math first before spending his dough.

Hereally wants a $100 bill, so I said, ‘I’ll give you a $100 bill for $100of yours — a couple twentys.’ And he said, ‘No, no, then you’re takingmy money.’ And I said, ‘No, it’s an exchange. It’s the same thing.You’re not losing any.’ And he said, ‘No, no. You can’t take my money.’So I said, ‘Okay, I’ll give you $100 for $90,’ which is a good deal. Sonow I think he’s kind of a dumb miser.

Miller Duchovny

My son saw the picture of the woman and he said, ‘She’s coming here todinner?’ And Téa [Leoni] said ‘Yeah.’ And Miller said, ‘Are my big boy pantsclean?’ His big boy pants are his jeans.

David, 47, also told another Miller tale reminiscent of Téa’s accounton Late Night with Conan O’Brien in June, in which Miller reveals hisdefinition of "hot" — "you’re sexy and that your vagina looks good / you have a pretty vagina."This time, he said the same thing to his nanny.

I came down for breakfast and it was perfect timing as if it wasscripted. I just hear Téa say to him, ‘You better ask your fatherthat.’ And he said,’When I think about girls, I get a funny feeling in my peeny.’ And Isaid,’That sounds about right, man.’

David and Téa, 41, also have a daughter, Madeleine West, 8.

I had [Sienna] and you think this is the only child you’regonna love and the fact that you’re having another one, you don’t thinkyou’ll be able to love it as much. But they say you adjust and it’samazing how you love your kids equally. And it’s not true. I don’t carefor the second one as much. I wanna feel the love. I can’t fake itanymore either. I don’t know what to do. Don’t feel bad – we’re gonnahave another baby, so this one has another to play with. I’m sensitiveto it.

As he mentioned on Letterman, becoming a parent the secondtime is not as intense as the first. Kevin, 42, kept a close watch onnurses whenever they came by to pick up Sienna, but such was not thecase with Shea.

You kinda slack off a little bit. The nurse comes in, youdon’t care. Literally a janitor stopped by and was like, ‘I’m justgonna take the kid.’ I’m like, ‘Sure, go ahead. Clean her up. Justbring her back when you’re done. That’ll be fine. No problem at all.’

Having two kids now has made their household even more messyand hectic, forcing Steffiana to draft a new house rule, much to Kevin’sdisdain.

It is a little crazy because she’s starting to makerules with the two kids that they’re going to be crawling around thehouse and stuff and she made a rule of – and this kind of annoyed me -no shoes around the house. It’s so annoying because she makes meenforce the rule too. ‘Oh, look at the movers. Can you ask ‘em to taketheir shoes off?’ And these guys are big guys and they’re moving stuff.And you know what, you make the rule, so you enforce the damn thing.

In between asking guests to take off their shoes, Kevin spends much ofhis time watching Sesame Street with his kids. And while he loves theshow – he’s recently shot an episode – the I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry star does have one chiefcomplaint.

They repeat a lot and that really pisses me offbecause I’m just waiting for new episodes of Sesame Street to come out.It’s like The Sopranos – C’mon! Turn it over! Do something! Then yousee one and you’re excited and you think it’s gonna be a new one andyou’re like, ‘Near and far again! That’s what it is – near and far! Isaw this 100 times.’ I loved it the first time, but c’mon, keep megoing here.

Jason Priestley

‘Kid Pity Piddy,’ I call her. She’s one week old today. It’s very exciting. The first week was unbelievable. It has been reallynice actually. Our daughter’s beautiful and she’s been really good. I’mgoing home tonight because I can’t wait to get back to her.

Conan joked that it was pretty late to fly back because it’s "after 1 [a.m.]" (the show tapes at 5 p.m.), to which Jason said,

Yeah, I know. If she’s still up, I’m gonna kick her ass.

Photo by Vipix; specifically for use on The Celebrity Baby Blog, Inc.

Téa Leoni

For his fifth , you think you can go out and get himsome Legos or something, but nothing can compete with his newfound toy,which is his penis. I don’t see him ever giving this up. He startedsort of pulling and tugging a year ago, but it’s really interesting.He’s sort of discovered that it can do tricks. Not that long ago, wewere getting ready for bed and the kids were in the bathroom and mydaughter [Madeleine West, 8] looks over at my son and says, ‘What isthat?!’ And Miller is sporting this adorable little woody and bless hisheart, Miller looks down and goes, ‘I do not know.’ I just said, ‘Goask your father [David Duchovny] cause he has one and you guys can -oh, just go.’ It’s weird.

Téa, who thinks someone with an older sibling at Miller’sschool is feeding him the information, says she and David field otherquestions too.

He’s very interested in sex at an early age, butvery innocently. He asked us recently did we know what ‘hot’ means. And Isaid, ‘Do you mean like hot when you must take off your sweater?’ Andhe goes, ‘No.’ And I said, ‘Oh God, what does ‘hot’ mean?’ And he said,’It means you’re sexy and you have a pretty vagina.’ And this was alittle shocking, but the best part is when he wants to tell you hisidea of making out. He said that making out was – you have to get thepronouns on this – when you put your penis in your vagina.

She does watch the show. I let her watch the show. She enjoys it. It’s a little tough occasionally when Johnny Drama is put into some unusual positions. Whenever there’s a massage scene, it’s always kind of tough for her. She’s gotta go to school the next day and face her friends, so it’s a little embarrassing for her.

Kevin and his wife Jane Stuart also have a 1-year-old daughter, Ava, who has a headful of red hair, he says.

The fourth season of Entourage starts Sunday at 10 p.m.