Soleil Moon Frye Agrees It Takes a Village to Raise Children: By My Third Baby I Was ‘Throwing Him into People’s Arms’

09/22/2016 at 01:00 PM ET

As a mom, it can be hard to relinquish control when it comes to raising kids — but even the stars have learned that sometimes it’s okay to accept help.

Garcelle Beauvais, Soleil Moon Frye, Molly Sims and Haylie Duff got together for PEOPLE’s Mom Talk video series, which is now live on PEOPLE/Entertainment Weekly Network, to discuss when they do — and don’t — take advice from other moms.

“I believe in it takes a village,” Beauvais, 48, admits, “so I love when I get help from my friends, strangers.”

It’s a sentiment Frye — mom to daughters Poet Sienna Rose, 11, and Jagger Joseph Blue, 8½, and sons Lyric Sonny Roads, 2½, and Story, 4 months — definitely echoes.

“I’ll take all the help I can get. The first time, I held on to the baby and wouldn’t let anybody else hold her,” she says, laughing. “Now I’m like, ‘Please take him.’ My third child, I’m throwing him into people’s arms.”

Watch full episodes of PEOPLE’s Mom Talk now at People/Entertainment Weekly Network. It’s free, and it’s available on streaming devices, including Apple TV, Roku, etc. Just download the PEN app on your Smart TV, mobile and Web devices, or you can check it out at people.com/PEN.

Soleil Moon Frye
Courtesy Goldberg Family

Sims, however, was initially hesitant to take on help — and admit she needed it.

“I always thought I was quite sure of myself about certain things,” she says. “But I think the one thing I’ve learned being a mom is to try not to judge. And it’s hard, some people will give me advice and I’m like, ‘There is no way, girl, I’m doing that.’ ”

And for some, all it took was a pacifier for a change in attitude.

“For me, the big turning point was deciding to give [my daughter] a pacifier,” Duff says. “I called one of my girlfriends and I was in tears because she really wanted it, I was like, ‘Beverley, what do I do?’ and she was like, ‘Get her on a pacifier, who cares!’ ”

— Lindsay Kimble

FILED UNDER: Mom Talk

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Showing 21 comments

Jeezuss..... on

That is a horrible thing to say, but if you do feel like throwing him into other people’s arms, maybe it’s a clue….. Stop having children. Such an ungrateful thing to say. There are women who would give anything to have a baby but can’t, and you just keep popping em out and complain about it. Tell your husband to have the snip. That would solve your problem

ddnj on

Take it down a notch there, Jeezuss.

Sam on

Jeezuss….you took that wrong. She didn’t mean she doesn’t care, it’s just that by the third kid you are more relaxed and appreciate others helping. With my first, I sterilized everything in sight, made my husband change his shirt when he got home from work before holding him! By the third, meh I was giving the bottles a quick rinse and off you go. You realize babies are a lot tougher and it’s hard to break them.

red on

Omg that is a big toddler! Wow and not in a good way

Duh on

Lady, if you are throwing your kids in others arms maybe you should stop having kids. Just stating the obvious.

Robin on

I noticed that Story doesn’t have any middle names like his three older siblings do.

Heather on

Omg! The cute, chubby one is a BOY?!

maggie on

She needs to cut back on how much that 2-year-old is eating! Good lord!

JessinSeattle on

I think the throwing the baby in other’s arms comment, means she is more relaxed. And 4 kids is not too many. Jeez. And my nephew was a chunky monkey like her son, and now at 8 he is a string bean. In fact most of the babies in our family were chunks thru their toddler years. Then they stetch out.

Jenny W on

That is not a healthy weight for a two year-old. Period. Something is wrong. Either spoiled and neglected when it comes to getting healthy meals or some kind of glandular issue. I get that after you’ve had a couple, you relax, but most women don’t have the luxury of pawning their kids off on others, even friends or relatives.

Gwen on

Oh for goodness sakes. What she means is that with the first kid there’s a lot of guilt over getting help for things that seem basic. I remember when I left my first with my parents overnight and I was feeling so guilty over it. Or when somebody would offer to sit with him so I could nap, I felt like it was being lazy: You just feel like you can, and should, do it all.

But by the third or fourth you have no issues at all delegating tasks, accepting help, taking breaks, and you don’t feel the need to politely decline an offer you really, really wanted to accept for help around the house or with the kids.

People need to get a grip. Parenting is hard and overwhelming and it’s nice to hear somebody say as much as opposed to exuding this “perfect parent” Instagram-worthy life.

erica2 on

throwing the third child in someones arms or more like throwing him a tbone steak chocolate milkshake and super sized fries…childhood obesity is a serious issue that leads to many illnesses and preventable diseases if left unchecked…please put that boy on a diet NOW in the words of michelle obama lets move! that toddler gut is way more than cute baby fat

Trollie Trollerson on

Judgy judgemental people don’t keep your opinions to yourself!… Sound off! How dare she make other people hold her child, look at that chubby one, how dare she let that kid eat. What else can you pick Punky Brewster over for. Surely you can come up with something else. I mean come on look at her daughters’ hair, how dare she not have her children perfectly groomed- just having a baby is no excuse.

Amber on

I really thought the term “body-shaming” was overused until I saw this thread. You people are seriously making fun of a toddler’s weight? I feel really sorry for kids today. No wonder so many of them commit suicide. I’m so glad the internet wasn’t around when I was growing up.

Anonymous on

Then what did you have another kid for? There are parents with more kids than you that cherish each one. You bring a kid into the world; it’s YOUR responsibility, not your village.

dana on

I treally blows my mind how people judge a chuncky baby…My grandgirl is 6 months old and weighs only 12 lbs.Not because she is not fed but because she has acid reflux and throws up after she eats.It urks me how mean and unkind some can be about children.

Francine on

You know, in comparison, Bruce and Demi didn’t do such a bad job naming THEIR kids.

Marcy on

Her oldest son looks obese! Not good!

will on

In other words what they mean by It takes a Village to raise kids is that they believe the Federal government should be paying for child care or forcing employers to pay which could lead to employers going out of business. There are too many parasites already. Let these liberal rich people give away the majority of their income to pay for these programs.

Justine Jelly Bean on

Her second son could play Punky Brewster as a boy. Looks just like mommy.

Tara on

I have lots of kids, no help, no support, I wanted them so that is my life. My ex walked out and it’s for the good. I dont leave them unless it’s household chores. I dont know I’m old school, I’m a real mom. I love my kids!