Jenny Mollen Jokes Her ‘Greatest Fear’ for Son Sid ‘Is That He Marries a Woman Exactly Like Me’

08/17/2016 at 11:55 AM ET

Jenny Mollen Exclusive on Son Sid
Jenny Mollen/Instagram

When it comes to her 2½-year-old son Sid, Jenny Mollen is already worrying about his walk down the aisle.

“My greatest fear for my child is that he marries a woman exactly like me,” the actress, writer and wife to Jason Biggs tells PEOPLE.

The comedian, 37, can’t help joking about what her hopes for her little guy‘s future are.

“My greatest wish for my child is that he makes lots of money and that he’s able to support me when I’m old,” she says with a laugh.

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On a more serious note, if Mollen could re-do one parenting moment with Sid, it would be in the way she handled her son running off one time. She told him she was scared and that he shouldn’t do that in the future, and it seemed to have stuck with him.

“He’s clearly traumatized by the event because sometimes I’ll be rocking him to sleep at night and all of a sudden he’ll be like, ‘I run away … Mommy’s scared,’ ” she admits, mimicking her son in a breathy voice.

“I’m like, ‘What? That sounds demonic!’ ” Mollen continues. “So I don’t know if he’s just trying to torture me with that information or threaten me that he might do it again, but I take it to mean that he has psychological damage and he’s going to need a therapist because of it one day.”

But Sid also makes his mama laugh constantly — including a recent episode when the family was out to dinner and she asked him what he wanted to eat.

“He said, ‘I’m gonna eat Dory.’ I’m like, ‘Wait, what? As in Dory, Finding Nemo Dory?’ ” she recounts.

” ‘Yes, I’m gonna eat Dory!’ ” the Crazy, Stupid, Love star continues, joking, “So, I don’t know. I could be raising a total psychopath. But that’s what he had for dinner.”

When you're having a screaming tantrum but somehow manage to refuel at the same time. #hangry

A photo posted by Jenny Mollen (@jennyandteets2) on

This my constant body position as a mom.

A photo posted by Jenny Mollen (@jennyandteets2) on

Mollen’s parenting world isn’t all laughs, though. She admits that when she’s away from her son and FaceTiming with him, she is moved to tears when he’s crying about missing her and she can’t do anything about it.

“I sort of lose it on the inside,” the Live Fast Die Hot author confesses. “I don’t want to show him that, because, like with a new guy you’re dating, you don’t want him to know necessarily you’re as susceptible to his manipulations as maybe you really are.

“But then as soon as I see him, he doesn’t care about me at all,” she jokes.

Jen Juneau

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Showing 5 comments

Brooke on

A rational fear. You are crude, lewd & not funny.

Moi on

She is obnoxious, untalented and vulgar – just like her husband. Too bad that kid will be raised on that environment.

James on

Shés trying so hard to be funny. And she is so not funny.

guest on

I can’t believe people buy her books.

Pam on

Her kids cute. They annoy the heck out of me though. I don’t like crude humor.

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