Allison Holker on Not Breastfeeding Son Maddox: ‘We Have Found Our Own Path’

08/05/2016 at 02:00 PM ET

Allison Holker is opening up about why she doesn’t breastfeed her son, 4-month-old Maddox Laurel — and the answer is simply because it’s the right decision for her and her family.

“We have found our own path with our child, and honestly, the milestones he’s hitting are right on target and he’s laughing and he’s giggling and he is rolling over,” Holker, 28, told PEOPLE Thursday at 4Moms’ launch of the world’s first ever self-installing car seat in Los Angeles.

“More than anything, he is a people person. He loves the attention, he loves people holding him,” adds the professional dancer, who splits parenting duties with husband Stephen “tWitch” Boss.

Stephen Boss Allison Holker 4Moms Event
Tommaso Boddi/Getty

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Boss himself knows the value of living in the present — and that includes getting up in the middle of the night to tend to his new son.

“It’s a really dope time for me to get a little bit of quality time,” the 33-year-old actor and dancer says.

“[Allison] carried him around and grew him for nine months. So for me, at night, if she doesn’t get up — and also, I’m so paranoid that any sound he makes, I jump out of the bed — those are the times that I get to [spend] with him,” he continues.

All the best parts of us in one. Life is beautiful. Fatherhood's Finest Moments.

A photo posted by Stephen tWitch Boss (@sir_twitch_alot) on

TK
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The new dad knows that his sleep sacrifices are worth it, because the time he has while his son is so little is very precious — and limited.

“There is gonna be a time where I’m not gonna be able to hold him in my arms and bottle feed him. He’s gonna be like, ‘Dad, get away from me,’ ” the Magic Mike XXL star jokes. “So I have to soak [up] this time. ‘Cause once he starts getting around, he’s gonna be a wild one.”

Boss’ wife and fellow So You Think You Can Dance alum clarifies that while her husband of two years does in fact take care of the nighttime duties, Maddox doesn’t always require overnight attention.

“He already sleeps [through] the night sometimes,” says Holker, who also has an 8-year-old daughter named Weslie from a previous relationship.

“He loves looking into people’s eyes,” Holker adds of Maddox. “He’s so interactive with people, and it’s so amazing to see the personality he’s already starting to brew up. It’s really incredible.”

The proud mom of two says that alongside her son‘s adorable milestones, the couple have a lot to be thankful for.

“He’s just the happiest little boy we’ve ever encountered, and he’s ours,” she says. “Every single day I see him, I feel so grateful and blessed.”

Jen Juneau with reporting by Raha Lewis

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Showing 48 comments

Susan on

Stupid excuse for not providing her child with the best nutrition.

bb on

I’m glad she didn’t offer any explanation. Maybe there is a medical reason, maybe not. But it’s no one else’s business, and if her child is healthy and their family is happy, that’s all anyone needs to know. Good for her.

Cara on

I agree with Jerz – good for you! I chose to not breastfeed my two boys and they’re smart, healthy and amazing. I hate that this is even a story. There are such larger issues in our world right now.

Rosie on

I don’t know why women who choose not to breastfeed are questioned – do what is right for you! unfortunately , I had to go right back to work and knew it wouldn’t be the right choice for us.

J on

As long as the baby is fed that is all that matters. I was formula fed and so were my children. We are all healthy.

kr on

I don’t understand the need to inform the rest of the world of your feeding habits. It’s your business. Why not keep it as such?? It’s like she’s looking to rile up the breastfeeding whacos just for publicity.

Tati on

Breast is not always best. I suffered with ppd and nursing put more of a strain on me and my dr recommended that I stop. I formula fed using generic products and my one year old has never been sick and ahead of his milestones. Its every family’s choice and they should never feel guilty about it.

Nelle on

Do whats best for you and your baby, no need to explain to anyone! It’s sad now today that some mothers are sometimes bullied or shamed into breastfeeding their children, mothers need to do whats best in their situation. Bottle feeding or breast feeding as long as the child is healthy that is all that counts!

Em on

Impressed by the understanding comments here. Well done folks! I am still nursing my 21-month-old and am expecting baby no. 2 and am obviously pro-nursing, but have been shocked at how many “you’re breastfeeding, aren’t you?” comments I’ve received from strangers. Not appropriate at all in my book.

Pam on

It’s her business what she does with her child. I believe breast is best but I won’t push that on anyone. It’s every mother’s personal choice.

blessedwithboys on

He’s hitting milestones now but does that make up for losing 10 IQ points and increasing his lifetime risk of chronic illnesses?

Sharon on

My husband loved the bonding time he spent doing late night bottles with our daughter. So many nursing mother discount how important the father’s bond with the child is and make dads feel as if they are insignificant.

Claire on

Oh lord, she announced this during World Breastfeeding Week!! Here come the righteous mommies to tell her how she’s going straight to hell for not nursing until her kid is 12 years old and how he’ll no doubt suffer for the REST OF HIS LIFE BECAUSE HE HAD FORMULA OH MY GOODNESS!!!

Seriously, people, give it up. Plenty of formula fed kids wind up at Harvard.

constance on

How a mother chooses to feed her child is absolutely nobody else’s business. I get weary of women telling other women what they should do. It is between the woman and her husband. If the baby is eating, growing and happy, everyone else needs to butt out.

kellyrsmith15 on

Fed is best and she doesn’t have to provide a reason…anyone calling her or anyone that doesn’t breastfeed for whatever reason is a very sad person indeed.

chelle120 on

Whatever her reasoning for bottle feeding, it’s her choice and her family’s. I chose to not breastfeed either and it doesn’t make me any less of a mother or my daughter any less intelligent, vibrant, social, etc. I’m over the judgment for how a woman chooses to feed her baby…it is no one’s business except those the people in the family. If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all.

Pam on

Who cares? At least a baby is fed & loved by his parents…sheesh

Nicole on

I’m so glad to see a celebrity mom bring awareness to formula feeding. Us formula moms still love our babies just as much as any other mother. And honestly there is not any significant difference between a breastfed baby, and a formula fed baby. Women need to always doe hat feels right, not what society tells them!!

ShinyMouse on

What I can’t stand is the women bashing her for formula feeding are the same women who cry that they were shamed for breastfeeding. Some can’t or simply don’t breastfeed. Are they lazy? Are they abusive? Do they hate their children? Do they deserve to be ridiculed as you play the victim? The answer to all those is no.

D on

Why do we care if she chose to breastfeed or not? This is why we have mommy wars about this kind of thing. The media always has to include it.

Guest on

I’m glad she said something. Breast feeding is not the only choice for infant nutrition. My husband also enjoyed that middle of the night time with our boys. The choice is that of the parents, not the general public!!

lol on

Cause 10 IQ points is SUCH am outstanding edge in a world of geniuses? Lol Keep your innate 10 while I actually educate my children

Adri on

Finally a bottle feeding celebrity mama. Yay. Susan, she did provide her child with the best nutrition. Formula is specifically made to have every nutrient a baby needs to grow and thrive.

MissS on

Good for her – she’s doing what is best for her son.
Stop the nasty judgy comments people. She does not need to explain why she isn’t. It is a personal decision.

angela on

It really is none of our business as to why she did not.

dancer92136 on

It is a personal choice and none of anyone’s business. I breast fed for four months with each of mine. My daughter’s friend couldn’t do it for a month because she didn’t produce enough milk and the baby needed more.

Meena on

I appreciate that she didn’t feel the need to come up with a reason like most moms do. I didn’t breastfeed either. It’s an individual choice a mother must be comfortable in making.

Coco on

Breast is best. Its what they need. Formula comes in no way close to the benefits of breastmilk. Breastfeeding is not only good for baby but mommy too. Do your research and dont settle giving you baby less than they deserve to take the easy route. Breastmilk can be pumped so dad and others can help feed baby. Obviously its not easy but its not impossible. If you choose to formula feed that is yours and your family’s decision but lets not deny which is more beneficial.

Guest on

@coco

It’s more beneficial to have a fed baby. None of your business how the baby is fed.

Cindy on

I didn’t breast feed for many reasons. One, I wasn’t comfortable, two, I didn’t produce enough milk and three, it’s my prerogative. Formula gives the child more than enough vitamins etc. It isn’t anyone’s right to tell you what to do and how you raise your children. It was a very awkward and uncomfortable thing for me, I felt pressured to do it and I didn’t like it.

Francine on

Just don’t tell Bundchen and Milano.

dkstevens327 on

It’s nice to see that most of the people on here agree fed is best and beyond that it’s nobody’s business. I wasn’t allowed to breast feed due to medical reasons and, on more than one occasion, was made to feel horrible for not breast feeding by women who didn’t bother to find out if there was a medical reason or not. Today, at almost 12, my son is happy, healthy, and has a genius IQ. Obviously being formula fed didn’t hurt him at all.

Mary on

Susan: take several seats.

My daughter was a 33 week preemie. I did give her breast milk for first 6 weeks. Pumping. Never could latch on.

10 years old now. Top of her class, a talented artist, pianist, reads 4 grade levels ahead. So take that Suzie Q!

P.S. my friend breast fed for 14 months. Her child is allergic to: wheat, soy, eggs, turkey, beef, chicken, peanuts, and rice.

Kathy on

Breast feeding is not for everyone. Those who come down on a women for not breast feeding need to zip it. It’s none of your business, and beyond annoying.

Lulu on

I can’t say enough about the lack of compassion that comes from people. You have no idea why a person chooses not to breast-feed. Referencing IQ points or risk of chronic illness in the future does not increase the confidence of any woman other than those who appreciate shaming others. Who are you to pass judgment on others? Would you rather women choose to have children based on their ability to breast-feed? Or does breast-feeding cover a variety of all evils including abuse? She gives no reason or excuse. She doesn’t need to. Life is messy and imperfect. Accept it or don’t. It only makes everyone smaller to pass judgment on it.

Aeol on

Fed is best!

Debbe on

I am not even going to tell her what I think she should do when it comes to her child. It is her choice. For me, I “tried” breastfeeding but it did not work well, and my baby kept losing weight and losing until I had to put him on the bottle. It can happen to any of us and she doesn’t need a reason why she chose to do that.

Debbe on

BY THE WAY I LOVE LOVE LOVE Allison and Twitch SOOO much. When Tony left Ellen, I thought oh GAWD no, it will never be the same, but I LOVE it with Twitch….so much. Now I think it will never be the same without Twitch. He is sweet and Allison is so sweet, their daughter is so sweet and now they got a sweet boy. Love them.

Debbe on

I just noticed comments by Coco and some other women that breast is best. Look, I am 50 years old and when I was a baby I would not drink my moms breastmilk. Also, I would not drink formula (spit up everything.) Dr. said feed her goats milk but my mom gave me half cows milk/half water and a little sugar. I drink it. Hey I am only 4″11 (i thought milk helps one grow) AND, my allergist asked if I had taken a benedryl since he had never seen anyone have no allergies on the allergy test.

T on

She doesn’t have to explain herself to anyone, it’s no ones business

Dawn on

Good for her! So many moms are shamed for being honest.
There is much more to being a good mom than breastfeeding.
She should be supported and not shamed for making a personal decision.
They both seem like really nice people.

Dillon on

Poor Susan, actually thinking her disapproval matters.

Christina on

I wholeheartedly agree that it’s a woman’s right to choose how she feeds her baby, but what drives me up the wall is all the excuses!! Formula feeding is inferior, it’s a fact, so own it. I have way more respect for the woman who says, “I just didn’t want to/like it” Period.

Happymomna on

Fed is best! My track record with the breast didn’t make my children super heroes like other mothers’ claim. They are super smart but they would be even if the drank formula.

I did breastfeed both of my children because I wanted to try it and became addicted when my baby weight kept falling off.

I breastfed/pumped my first child for 6 months and she has asthma and was ALWAYS sick! So many ear infections, tubes, had to give breathing treatments 2 times/day for 2 years.

I also breastfed/pumped with my 2nd for 10 months and she got bacterial meningitis at 5 months of age and is deaf from the disease.

Ella on

So selfish. Unless you are one of the very rare women who can not breastfeed, there is no excuse not to do the right thing. Yes, he sleeps trough the night- because formula is harder to digest. There is a reason your body makes milk- because your child needs it.

Anonymous on

I breastfeed my now one-year old son. I think it’s wonderful and we’ve had a pretty easy time of it. But it doesn’t work for everyone, and even if you don’t try- it’s really nobody’s business! People need to stop worrying about others. I think breastfeeding is amazing, but I definitely don’t think badly of moms who choose not to.

Gracie on

I understand judging from the picture she is flat chested so I support her

Kourt on

Yes!! Love that she didn’t feel the need to provide some lengthy explanation or give some big story about how she tried and tried but she just couldn’t do it. The pressure to breastfeed is becoming insane, and while I fully support breastfeeding moms, I equally support formula moms, and I think shaming formula moms is just as bad as shaming breastfeeding moms. If you can and want to breastfeed, that’s wonderful, but if you don’t, that’s perfectly fine too. So many of us were fed formula as babies and we turned out just fine. You’d never be able to walk in to room for of adults and differentiate between who was breastfed as a baby vs who was formula fed, and it isn’t the end of the world if you chose the latter, nor does it make you a bad mom! Breastfeed, formula feed, supplement, pump – do what is best for YOUR family! #FedIsBest #MomsKnowBest #NoExcusesNeeded

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