Halsey Wants ‘to Be a Mom More Than a Pop Star’ After Suffering Miscarriage

07/28/2016 at 08:37 PM ET

Halsey gave her most emotional and open interview yet. The singer got candid with Rolling Stone about a defining moment from her summer 2015.

“Last year on tour I got pregnant,” Halsey, 21, revealed.

Months before the Aug. 28 release date of her first record Badlands, the New Jersey-native had discovered she was expecting while getting ready for a concert in her Chicago hotel room. She began panicking and instantly questioning what to do next.

“What happens? Do I lose my record deal? Do I lose everything? Or do I keep [the pregnancy]?” Halsey recalled that moment. “What are the fans going to think? What are the moms going to think? What is the Midwest going to think? What’s f—ing everyone going to think?”


David Livingston/Getty Images

Hours before going onstage, Halsey screamed in shock when she found herself bleeding from the waist down in her hotel bed. ” ‘I have to cancel the show,’ ” she remembered her first reaction being.

But in the end, Halsey asked her assistant to buy adult diapers at the drugstore. Though no one had forced her to go on with the show, she put on a diaper and took two Percocet to do her job.

“It’s the angriest performance that I’ve ever done in my life. That was the moment of my life where I thought to myself, ‘I don’t feel like a f—ing human being anymore,’ ” Halsey said.

“This thing, this music, Halsey, whatever it is that I’m doing, took precedence and priority over every decision that I made regarding this entire situation from the moment I found out until the moment it went wrong. I walked offstage and went into the parking lot and just started throwing up.”

Halsey still isn’t sure why she suffered a miscarriage, and still “beat[s] [herself] up for it.” Her busy work schedule had led her to exhaustion and had consistently landed her in the hospital.

“I think that the reason it happened is just the lifestyle I was living. I wasn’t drinking. I wasn’t doing drugs. I was f—ing overworked,” she said blaming herself. “In the hospital every couple of weeks because I was dehydrated, needing bags of IVs brought to my greenroom. I was anemic, I was fainting. My body just broke the f— down.”

Her music career is high-demand and more successful than ever, but Halsey hasn’t reached her ultimate goal of becoming a parent.

“I want to be a mom more than I want to be a pop star. More than I want to be anything in the world,” she concluded.

— Karen Mizoguchi

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Showing 16 comments

KL on

That is very sad… but hold off you are only 21?! Why u need a baby now.. there is plenty of time … Good Lord…

Jj on

If she wasn’t doing drugs, why did she have percocets?

cats2275 on

@Pinkk
Someone more famous than you

guest on

I have no idea who this is, but she needs to slow down. Girl, you’re so young, I’m guessing you’re not even married yet?, and miscarriages are VERY common. Live life first, meet the right guy, and then settle down.

Jen on

Clicked on this article because I was like, who is Halsey?

T. M. I.

This is not something you share with the public. PEOPLE really?

K on

@cats2275
Seriously who? Clearly she’s not more famous then any other wanna be singer.

nelle on

So sad, but I miscarraige can happen to the healthiest most cautious person, she should not beat herself up about it, but she definietly should take better care of herself because landing in the hospital that much may lead her to an early grave and fame is not worth that!

Myastone12 on

@Jj, the prescription pain killers could have been from a previous injury or illness or could have been given to her by someone in her entourage who was trying to help relieve her pain so she could get through her show. Many miscarriages are accompanied by severe abdominal cramping. Taking two percocets is not indicative of being on drugs or being an addict.

Jocelyn on

@Jj a lot of doctors prescribe Percocets when they know you are miscarrying because it is very painful. I’m shocked she went through with the show, I couldn’t even leave my bed. But a lot of people need to maintain normality in order to get through tough times. Everyone grieves differently. She’s a tough chick.

Jocelyn on

@Jen there’s miscarrying is nothing to be ashamed about. It happens to 1 out of 4 women. Speaking out is a personal choice, I, for one, appreciate hearing other people’s stories. Having a miscarriage is one of the worst things a woman can go through and you can easily feel alone and like you did something wrong. When people share their experience, it makes those who went/are going through it feel less alone.
There needs to be more awareness.
If you don’t like it, don’t click on the article.

Anonymous on

I had a miscarriage myself with my first pregnancy and I kept asking myself what I did wrong. … my Dr. Told me that the percentage of miscarriage is way higher than anyone thinks because your body can tell if the baby is viable or not and many women don’t even know they have lost a child. 3 months later I was pregnant again and the silver lining is I wouldn’t have the daughter I have if I hadn’t had my miscarriage because there is no physical way possible I could have had both. It is so hard and physically, emotionally, and mentally debilitating…. but my miracles are now 7 and 3. There is always hope.

Amy on

I had a miscarriage myself with my first pregnancy and I kept asking myself what I did wrong. … my Dr. Told me that the percentage of miscarriage is way higher than anyone thinks because your body can tell if the baby is viable or not and many women don’t even know they have lost a child. 3 months later I was pregnant again and the silver lining is I wouldn’t have the daughter I have if I hadn’t had my miscarriage because there is no physical way possible I could have had both. It is so hard and physically, emotionally, and mentally debilitating…. but my miracles are now 7 and 3. There is always hope.

Vonna on

I understand she feels sad but miscarriage is not uncommon in a woman, she has hope to have a healthy baby later.

Just Me on

She says she wasn’t doing drugs, but just had Percocet laying around to pop when she started bleeding? Um… they don’t give that stuff out for “exhaustion”. I have NO idea who this person is, but clearly she’s not being honest about her “lifestyle”. A quick Google search will show you that she’s not. She has a “history”… so…

angie on

This woman looks way older than only 21 years old.

SuzieQ on

She just happened to have 2 percocets on hand? WTF?