Ellen Pompeo on Raising Her Mixed-Race Daughters to ‘See a Lot of Images of Beautiful, Powerful, Strong Black Women’

07/28/2016 at 01:00 PM ET

Ellen Pompeo is looking to the strong women of the world to set a good example for her girls.

Specifically, the mom of daughters Sienna May, 2 next month, and 6½-year-old Stella Luna celebrates the success of African American women — and makes it a point to show off their accomplishments to her children.

“My daughters are black so it’s very important to me that they see a lot of images of beautiful, powerful, strong black women,” the Grey’s Anatomy actress, 46, tells PEOPLE.

“Every time there is a black woman on a magazine cover, whether it is Kerry Washington or whoever it is, I make sure that magazine is in my house and on my table. For me, that’s super important.”

Ellen Pompeo Exclusive Daughters
C Flanigan/WireImage

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Pompeo, whose daughters she shares with husband of almost nine years Chris Ivery, also makes sure these images of women are shown to her children while they watch television.

“Every time [Venus and Serena Williams] play tennis, I make sure my daughters watch them,” says the actress, who’s collaborating with beauty brand Philosophy on a campaign to eliminate stereotypical perceptions of middle age.

“I feel really fortunate that they are growing up in a time [in which] the first president my daughter knows is Barack Obama,” she shares. “That’s an incredible gift.”

For more from Ellen Pompeo, pick up the latest issue of PEOPLE, on newsstands Friday.

— Jen Juneau with reporting by Jackie Fields

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Liz on

Did she give birth to these two girls? Wouldn’t that make them just as white as they are black?

Holly Stanton on

Good for her! For people who will object to the word “black”, she uses that word because that’s how they will be seen. Most people do not acknowledge the mixed backgrounds of black children except for their convenience. Also, people should be allowed to define themselves in the way that they want if they are indeed of that heritage. Unless you have a good argument to the contrary , don’t bother responding to me. Thanks and have a nice day.

Anonymous on

this woman is delusional-wow

Mel on

I will be doing the same thing with my daughter. But with more than just sports and entertainment stars.

Anonymous on

@Liz-yes they’re mixed children but apparently being white should be hush hush

Rodriguez on

White looks white and will no be questioned, so yes, her daughters will never be viewed as white.

Rodriguez on

Also, “MIXED” is not a race. to be an actual race (with its own culture, traditions, heritage, history) and all the political and social logistics that come with race, constitutes a lot more than just having parents of two different colors.

Gina on

While I understand her desire to have images of strong, black women available to her daughters since her husband is black, her girls are also half white so why is she making this a skin color issue? There’s enough women out there that are strong, powerful women who have done amazing things in their careers and contributed to the world, so stop only pointing out the black women! You’re part of the problem by making it a skin color issue.

Cacci on

I make sure my girls see strong women of every race. I thought we were all supporting each other. Oh well….

Sue on

To Gina and Liz, who obviously don’t understand, her daughters LOOK BLACK, AND WILL BE CONSIDERED BLACK. No one will say her girls are White, so she has to help them by pointing out positive role models for healthy self-esteems, since Blacks are seen much less on TV and media.

Gurlfriend on

Kerry Washington? Did she feel compelled to tell that lie because most I talked to list Michelle Obama, Oprah or their mother not an actress on fake TV??

ImALadyToo on

They are as much white as they are black, so I hope that she shows her girls plenty of successful white women, too. She is being very divisive. There is something about her that I have never liked; perhaps it is her “in your face” attitude.

Mina on

Hey Ellen your kids are half white too! How about calling them mixed race? You and Barack Obama are confused about this.

american legion on

This is what I can’t quite understand..parents or parent of biracial children only claim to be black..excuse me, they are NOT one color!

Mary on

Good for her. Being white herself She knows they will grow up with many examples of strong white women but I think she understands as a parent of mixed race children you have to make an effort to make the kids understand and feel comfortable with both of their cultures.

Chung on

Mixed are mongrel canines, not human. The scientific term is biracial, but they will never be considered white because they are not white. Obama, has it right, he is a black man, was always treated that way by society and the sum of his experiences. Raised in an all white home, he was never like his mother’s relatives. That is just a fact.

Heather on

Her girls are brown skinned, so mixed race is not about color alone. There are millions of brown skinned, “black” people too.

Marie on

@ Rodriguez, I agree that mixedrace is not a race or a culture and even if they are 50/50 they will never be treated as white because they are brown in color. Then again, brown isn’t a race or culture either.

mary on

I have two bi racial daughters. I personally never felt compelled to put black women around them. Simply because my husband has plenty of positive, motivated and successful women in his FAMILY. That’s the problem with society. We look to strangers, entertainers and athletes that we DON’T know to point out to our children. If you were to ask my adult daughters who their role models are, I’m hoping they say my husband or myself. Society actually thinks it’s okay to ask my daughters what they “are”. Or if my HUSBAND I are “together” when waiting to be seated at restaurant. It’s the same society that people want to use as examples of STRONG women. I try to expose my kids to different cultures and activities. I let them choose who their strong women role models on their own. It’s not based on anything other than respect and admiration. With that being said, they adore women of all races and are very in touch with who they are now, and who they will become.

Anonymous on

how about just showing them powerful WOMEN.

Ken on

People don’t go around calling themselves brown that doesn’t denote anything except their skin color which a person can see by looking at them. It certainly doesn’t explain their heritage & culture. neither does saying mixed or biracial. People are a lot more than skin tone.

Clueless White People on

White people created the one drop rule. The one-drop rule is a social and legal principle of racial classification that was historically prominent in the United States asserting that any person with even one ancestor of sub-Saharan-African ancestry (“one drop” of black blood)[1][2] is considered black (Negro in historical terms). This concept evolved over the course of the 19th century and became codified into law in the 20th century. It was associated with the principle of “invisible blackness” and is an example of hypodescent, the automatic assignment of children of a mixed union between different socioeconomic or ethnic groups to the group with the lower status.

Jesse on

Yeah, her kids are one color they are brown with black curly hair.

Anonymous on

While celebrating the African American part of her daughters’ heritage is appropriate and important, they are also still half Caucasian. African American blood doesn’t negate Caucasian blood or vice versa. It doesn’t matter how they’re ‘viewed’ – that’s in the eye, heart and mind of the beholder. Children should be taught the truth about their heritage, all of it, and then be taught not to be defined by how they are viewed by others. If all the Black heroes (men & women) in history had defined themselves as others saw them, we wouldn’t have any Black heroes. Keep it real, for goodness’ sake, but keep it honest.

Anonymous on

Ugh, why don’t you get it? when you see a mixed kid, do you treat them the same as a white kid? probably, unfortunately, not. you treat them like they’re black….so they’re black.

Jenny on

This woman has it right she knows her children will never be seen as white so she is raising them the way the world will see them…and that is free from DELUSIONS.

Anonymous on

It’s one thing to call themselves Black or African American in a census, but they should be taught to embrace ALL of who they are while finding their personal heroes on their own. There are many strong women out there. Her husband is light skinned, perhaps their daughters are, too. Teach them to embrace the human race and emulate their female heroes, while being proud of who they are and where they came from – geographically and genetically.

Sofia on

Ellen is Italian and I’m quiet sure they will be raised knowing the Italian side of their heritage, just as much as they will know the African American side, learning from their father.

Anonymous on

Bi-racial is an accurate and more appropriate word than ‘mixed’. Mixed is a litter of puppies. These are little human beings with a bi-racial heritage. They should and likely will grow up to be proud of who they are, but perhaps if she would give them a broader base of encouragement that includes both their black and their caucasian genes, they wouldn’t see that line between the two everywhere they look. This is what our children should evolve to see instead of a line between racial differences, a circle around all of us as human beings.

Sara on

Her daughters will be seen as black, not as white or mixed. And it’s good she’ll show them beautiful, successful women in the media. That will help them with the self esteem and confidence.
Seriously why are people so judgmental on other women and what they do and how they raise their children?

Anonymous on

I love her acting. All the best to her beautiful family!

Jess on

I love reading what Ellen has to say. She’s always so smart and wise, and especially when she talks about her daughters. They will be amazing cause they have a strong, role model like her.
And to some comments here: Ellen is realistic, she knows what others see and the racism sadly, there still is in 2016, and will continue to be. They will be seen as black. So yes, watching beautiful, successful women in magazines or on TV, or wherever, is great.

Kelli on

While I am sorry that Ellen felt that she had to negate her children’s white heritage and focus solely on their black bloodline, I do commend her for making sure that her girls see powerful, confident women. I only wish that Ellen voiced that she wanted to make sure that her girls saw a rainbow of strong, confident females. Her daughters are more than black, white, or mixed. They should only be seen as two wonderful daughters of a loving marriage by 2 people who love them.

MerryMax on

I have an issue with white people (or Black) who have mixed race children and refer to them as only 1 race (when its very evident they are mixed 50/50) As a mixed Black/White woman, I can’t grasp how a White woman would tell her mixed race children that they are just Black……Just as our mixed race President refers to himself as Black AND White so should all parents of mixed children raise them to embrace BOTH sides. #IAmMixed5050 #BlackAndWhite

rachel on

@Liz For the most part I don’t think people look at mixed race individuals and see the “white” but more the black since it is the dominant visible race. Like North West, when I see a picture of her I think she is African American. I do not look at her and think “hmmm… African American and Armenian (or whatever Kim is). I’ve never seen a picture of Ellen’s kids, but I’m guessing their skin is closer to the dad’s than Ellen’s.

Anonymous on

I love how white people are so mad that this white women refers to her daughters as black. The same white people who if they saw these little girls they would question if she was their mom “cause they look black”. Which happens to my white sister-in-law all the time. So yes she is right. The world will see them as black. Obviously she is white so her daughters see her as a strong role model. But there are TONS of white when showcased as successful. Even though there are just as many black women that are successful they are not always acknowledged for it. These little girls basically live in “Hollywood” which is still mostly Caucasian. Ellen wants her daughters to see women that look like them so that they are not always comparing themselves or wishing their hair was blonde or straight. That is why most moms buy dolls that look like their daughters. If you cannot understand this then you are the definition of white privilege. You should try to understand people of different back grounds so you can see why people of color feel this way. I applaud her for being aware!

ccmikeroberts2016 on

I love how white people are so mad that this white women refers to her daughters as black. The same white people who if they saw these little girls they would question if she was their mom “cause they look black”. Which happens to my white sister-in-law all the time. So yes she is right. The world will see them as black. Obviously she is white so her daughters see her as a strong role model. But there are TONS of white when showcased as successful. Even though there are just as many black women that are successful they are not always acknowledged for it. These little girls basically live in “Hollywood” which is still mostly Caucasian. Ellen wants her daughters to see women that look like them so that they are not always comparing themselves or wishing their hair was blonde or straight. That is why most moms buy dolls that look like their daughters. If you cannot understand this then you are the definition of white privilege. You should try to understand people of different back grounds so you can see why people of color feel this way. I applaud her for being aware!

Anonymous on

I understand that society will see her daughters as black, as they see most mixed raced people. However I think it’s offensive when people who are black and white only identify with their black side. I know people like that, they say, “Oh no! I’m black, not white.” It’s as if they don’t have any white blood in them at all. I know they’ll never be seen as white, but that doesn’t mean they have to disrespect white people and their white heritage. It pisses me off when they do that. I have a white friend who has three half black children, and she raised them to only think of themselves as black and to deny their white side. She and I have had many arguments about this. Plus their black fathers (she has 3 kids by 3 different men) all abandoned them, and she had to raise her kids on her own with the help of her white family. Yet they keep identifying solely as black with no white blood at all.

T on

Why are people so hung up on the fact that she makes a conscious effort to showcase positive black female role models. Just because she didn’t say anything about positive white role models doesn’t mean it matters any less. She’s there mother, she’s white, and she’s successful they see that everyday. It’s not about 1 race being better but he children have brown skin and she needs to show them that there brown skin is beautiful and not just to her but to the world. It’s important for them to see that people of all colors can be successful. I would expect the same if her children were half Asian or any other race. It cannot be denied that right now we are fighting against a lot of negative. Even when you don’t consider all the very serious issues we have in this country minorities just aren’t as well represented numbers wise in print and other forms of media. You’re not going to see a no name minority score a major cover. It’s gonna be someone who has established their fame or the new it girl and then they are deigned worthy of the cover spot. So as a parent to mixed race children she is making a conscious effort to reinforce to them that black is beautiful and she wants her children to identify with the positive.

Shelley on

Unless you are the mother of an African American daughter, you will not understand what Ellen is trying to do. My daughter is AA and I am a caucasian mom. The other day she was watching a Disney movie and she asked me if you had to be white to be a princess. She’s six years old. I had to reassure my beautiful daughter that no, of course not. Princesses are every color – but she doesn’t see that in front of her. I now see the world thru her eyes and there is a huge lack of strong, powerful black girls and women represented in the world she sees. It is the fault of the media and the white culture in America. Ellen making a concerted effort to show her daughter, in every way possible, that women of all color can be good, strong and successful.
We can’t walk thru life denying that people are different colors. Believe me – my daughter notices every day. And she notices the lack of beautiful, black women being presented on TV and movies. I’m glad to see that our world is changing and that we see beautiful examples more and more every day.

Nelle on

That’s cool that she is making them aware of the accomplishments on women of color so they can know that they have ability to accomplish the same things.

C on

For those equating race with ethnicity, shut it down. Race is a social construct, fraught with perceptions of variation that are not based in scientific differences. There is one race, the HUMAN race. Otherwise, people of different races wouldn’t be able to procreate together.
Ellen is aware of the systemic and undying perception of her daughters that will ev based solely on their physical appearance. Society is going to treat them like they’re black. Furthermore, they see successful white women all day, you actually cannot keep that out even if you tried! Embracing the power in black female culture is the best way of counteracting the the self-hatred that typically plagues mixed kids (yes, mixed because people can be more than BI-racial, and unless you know for sure, you need to shut your mouth about which one is politically correct. These girls need to feel good about both their sides; however, because one side has been systematically disadvantaged, it’s going to take more effort to give them that sort of pride.
Don’t bash her for being intelligent and caring about the emotional wellbeing of her daughters. Clearly she’s educated on issues some of these haters have no concept of.

Don’t like her parenting? That’s your problem. She’s doing right by her kids that you’d likely look down on if walking down the street anyway.

Anonymous on

I would think you would want your daughters to think of themselves as “white.” I mean, given the choice–no brainer.

Really? on

Why in the world wouldn’t you, as a white woman, prefer that your daughters think of themselves as “white.” Given the choice between being “black” and “white,” it’s a no brainer, 100% “White!”

Rose on

I do not believe that the point that the message that she is sharing is that she is having her kids totally ignore their white heritage. The fact is that even in this day and age there are very negative ideas about black people. It continues to shock me how often I see people referring to a black person as a monkey or a gorilla. When you have a biracial child, it is indeed important to teach him/her that there are numerous positive things and people from his/her black heritage while at the same time you are teaching them all the beautiful things in this world. I am the mother of a biracial child. I am black and my husband is white. My baby is two. It continues to amaze me how often complete strangers found it necessary to comment and try to explain my child, especially when we are not out on outings as a unit. I am often asked if I am her mother in her presence. A cashier once playfully argued with me that I must have stole her somewhere and another person complimented her that she was beautiful and also noted that she must look like her dad. I have also been asked if I am her grandmother or nanny. Take my word for it, I am a gorgeous woman🙂 It’s not that you expose your child only to his black heritage, but until further progress is made in society (and I mean a lot of progress on all sides) it is necessary to teach biracial children that there are indeed successful black people in the world and not all of them are thugs. It is necessary for them to understand that mommy or daddy is not the exceptional successful black person and that there are plenty of others out there. It is necessary for them to understand that they don’t have to hide their black heritage; they don’t have to be ashamed of it and they are not better than a child with two black parents even though their skin may be lighter and their hair curly. This is part of teaching kids to be confident of who they are without having to put down anyone else. Yes, we also identify our child as black and this was something that we discussed. This is not to say that we are ignoring that she is half white. She is an amazingly unique and intelligent youngster and we love celebrating her. She gets exposed to quite a lot of amazing things in her life. The issue is actually more complex than what is represented in the article above.

leza on

her husband is black. what don’t people get! is obama black. yes

Lynette on

Why are some people so angry/vocal about the rules they (albeit indirectly) created and/or approved. The one-drop black rule is a historic fact in the United States. You don’t like it? Then do something about it. It was a rule/standard to set apart those blacks who could “pass” for white from deeming themselves as being “white”. It is an ugly part of U.S. history. I believe the number one reason why our country can’t get over it’s race issues is because there is so much shame (on the white side) and anger (on the black side) that neither wants to acknowledge or overcome.

Dee on

My son is biracial. To the world, he does not have soft curly hair, blue or hazel eyes and his skin is not creamy/lily white.

To the world he will be a black boy who will one day grow up to become a BLACK MAN and not because his white father doesn’t matter. He sure does BUT….that’s the way the world will see him and that’s how society will treat him. Not as a biracial child but as a black child/man.

So I completely understand where she is coming from. It’s really not that hard to get so the people on here talking about race doesn’t matter….keep living in your dream world.

Race doesn’t matter inside your home…..you and your children cannot stay indoors forever. The world. Society. Has no problem letting you know just who you are regardless of your make up.

Mimi on

I will never understand why people get so worked up over little snippets of an interview that People cose to printed. You don’t know the context of her comments. I am sure she was asked something about raising biracial children. Relax everybody. Relax.

Vinny on

She is right, yes there are plenty strong black women role models around.

Hea on

It’s very obvious that the us is a young country. Heck, my house is older than your nation…. So much is about race and blood and heritage still. You catalogue everyone. Please please, for the sake of the world I beg you – do not elect that racist orange man called Trump.

Qumez on

Good images of strong women are in all races not just black women!

pon on

I have never seen pictures of her daughters, they must be cute. Mixed race kids are generally cute especially of their curly hair.

Carol Ford on

Aren’t they as much white as black. I don’t get t when mixed race children are automatically called black.

#momoffour on

As a mother of mixed raced children, I totally agree with her. For those of you who don’t get it- society recognizes any child that is mixed with black as Black, not whatever they are mixed with. As parents who realize this reality, we are raising our children to accept all races that make them up, however to especially identify with how they are seen by society. As a parent I see no color in my children, they are just my babies, it’s society that labels everything. Thank you Ellen for recognizing and acknowledging that, you have lucky little girls!

sm on

A nice little discussion of mixed-race children was featured in “Infinitely Bipolar” with Mark Ruffalo and Zoe Saldana playing parents to two young daughters, one of my very favorite movies; the.older one seemed to mildly object to being called “black,” said ” – “But I don’t look black” (true according to casting of the child). Still, apparently something around which we in the USA are still navigating….!

mary on

Liz really? Her husband is black, so yes, they are bi-racial and that means, black to most people, just because you know, they aren’t white.

Alissa on

Just shut up! Your show is over and your talent is limited. The only reason you got the job is because your husband is black.

Kathleen on

I hope she shows them more than women on magazine covers and winning sports championships. Michelle Obama, Oprah, heads of state, business execs and CEOs. They shouldn’t have to see that only celebs are worth emulating.

Sara on

I would have my kids focus on what’s on the inside vs outside, but that’s me. Hollywood spends too much time focused on appearance vs character.

Sara on

Shelly,

Disney has princesses of all races. You might want to mix up your Disney movies so your daughter notices that.

Amela on

She wants her to know the first black president who is responsible for letting hard terrorists go from Gitmo, is responsible for the rise of ISIS, etc etc… yes what a role model for her black daughters. If it’s such a struggle why did she opt for having black daughters? They are white too, no?

krtmom on

Her children are not black. They are both black and white. She needs to show them strong images of women. Period.

glenn jackson on

Good job mom! Raise those babies!! Sadly, according to society, she is raising BLACK children! Just as my beautiful wife did. We certainly celebrate their Irish heritage however what idiot doesn’t think society makes it necessary to point our differences out? Specifically to our children. Sincerely, Glenn Bluford Jackson!

GrannyM on

It’s amazing to see how so many people can make assumptions on this woman’s entire life, philosophies and parenting skills based on a small part of one interview. Society and the media still showcases mostly white faces. In a racist society little mixed race children walking down the street will be seen as black children by most. She’s not lacking in parenting skills to not point out powerful white women, it’s just not necessary because that’s predominantly what we see in magazines and on TV. I commend her for trying to give her daughters a more balanced view of the world. They will face enough bias and hatred in their lives…any comment venue on the Internet is evidence of that.

Kelly on

Shes trying so hard to prove shes not predudice against blacks and that shes so accepting of everyone she has turned her back on her own culture. This is not the definition of someone who is accepting of everyone.

Dawn on

I get where she’s coming from. I’m a “mixed” chick and honestly, moving to the south was a smack in the face for me as a teenager, where the first question strangers would ask me was “what ARE you?” The one drop rule still prevailed and I was seen as “black”. I understand her desire to ensure her beautiful daughters are aware of the amazing black women of our world, it is still very much something we have to consciously do, as well as other ethnicities. She’s setting a powerful example to her daughters and I appreciate her deliberate and sensitive efforts. If you have issues with what she’s doing to ensure her daughters’ awareness of the accomplishments of black women, ask yourself why? We all need successful examples of people we can relate to to inspire us!

guest on

Since women are still oppressed and earning less on the $ than men, she should simply raise them as strong WOMEN.! Although I understand the support of their black heritage, let’s face it – they’re also likely very light skinned, which is NOT the same issue that faces dark skinned African Americans (Her Husband is very light toned too!) . I don’t understand marrying outside your culture and essentially choosing one side over the other, just embrace both! I have Asian friends that married Black men and they completely ignore their Asian side. .. Very disrespectful to their heritage as well.

Lauren on

If you are not a bi-racial or black woman please do not judge others. It’s great to have family members that may be mixed or black but it’s not the same thing. Until you have live it you really have no idea whatsoever. Ellen Pompeo seems to be trying to do her best and as a white woman it can be challenging when it comes to race/ethnic etc issues. Yes, her children are part of her DNA but the one thing she can not pass on to them is white privellage. Yup, I said it!!! The best thing we can do as parents is to teach our kids every color, ethnicity etc is beautiful. When that does happen maybe conversations as such won’t be needed.

POC on

This just in: white people being offended that someone takes pride in not being white.

By the way, he children will be perceived by the world as black. I applaud her for teaching her daughters to embrace who they are, and showing them they can be whatever they want no matter their skin color. It’s rather niave of people to assume her children arent being shown strong women of all races. The media and school will do that on its own.

Nadia on

No Ellen your daughters are not black and never will be.It takes two black parents to have a black child.People like to dump anything on the black race just because others reject them this black woman will not claim mixed race people as black.One drop rule is racist in itself.

Nadia on

I have a mixed race son and is white and black.DNA does not lie and Americans are the one country that still does one drop not working with this Haitian woman.Without his father my son would not exist it takes two of us to make him not just black or white.

Bertha on

Why black women. They are half white. Seems to me that she is a racist.

Shanda H. on

For all those that truly are at a lost for why this woman is specifically making sure her daughters (who the world will identify as Black much often than White) it’s simple if you step out of yourself. Reality is for girls, women beauty and this Standards of Beauty (and self-worth) are rooted in images. In America that image is overwhelming White. Yes, there are images of Blacks, Latinos, and a few Asians but this is not the norm; more the exception to the rule. In this country it has never been a rule of thumb that you are ugly, stupid, or/and worthless or worth less than because you aren’t White. There is a difference there. Promoting these images is responsible parenting. I would go a step farther and say regardless of race you should be teaching your children that you can be beautiful, smart, athletic, and successful no matter your race and back the talk up with having images in your home.
But let’s be honest most people do not do this. We may say “we are all the same” but ask yourself have you given you child a doll to play with that wasn’t his/her color? Do you watch movies and television shows that predominately show other races (purposefully?) Do you have open and frank discussion about race with your children…or purposefully ignore them in the hopes it will promote a “non” racial word? It’s irresponsible and unrealistic.
I am the mother of 3 White children and hope to soon have 1 or 2 children of my own (whom will be mixed race). The children I am responsible for now, have asked many questions about race that they never did to their father before I came along. Why? Because I am a real person…not a statistic not a token they saw on tv. They always saw color, they just didn’t talk about it…they were not comfortable. My children will be more aware of social issues and reality because I am present. But any parent can help their child develop this awareness if they make the effort.
Being honest about race doesn’t somehow strip your children of the innocents of “not knowing it exist.” Newsflash they already see the difference. Children are very observant. Children just don’t treat people better or worse for their differences or similarities until us adults/society corrupt them to.

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