Jamie Otis and Doug Hehner Name the Son They Lost: ‘He Deserves a Beautiful Name to Be Remembered By’

07/18/2016 at 02:25 PM ET

Married at First Sight‘s Jamie Otis has been open about her recent tragic experience in losing her baby boy four months into her pregnancy.

And now, the reality star and wife of Doug Hehner is blogging about how the couple is trying to stay positive — as well as the name they chose for their son.

“We wanted to name our baby the perfect name. A name that is full of meaning, warmth and love. He deserves a beautiful name to be remembered by,” the reality star, 30, wrote in a post published on her website Monday.

The name Otis and Hehner picked? Johnathan Edward Hehner. She notes that Johnathan means “gift from God,” and Edward is Hehner’s middle name — after his grandfather.

“Our firstborn will share [Daddy’s] middle name. I think this is so beautiful and meaningful,” continues Otis, who also previously posted a loving message to her son on Instagram. “I hope this little boy knows how much his mommy and daddy love him.”

She adds, “[Just because we] lost him before we were even able to rock him and bounce him doesn’t take away the immense amount of love we have for him. We will never forget our little Johnathan Edward.”

Jamie Otis Doug Hehner Baby Name Main
Karolina Wojtasik/A&E Networks

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Otis writes that she was 17 weeks and one day along when she lost Johnathan and that despite the circumstances, she and Hehner, 35, are trying to find solace in the support they’re receiving from friends, family and strangers alike.

WATCH: Married at First Sight‘s Doug Hehner and Jamie Otis Lose Baby: Our Son Was ‘Too Beautiful For Earth’

“So many people have been sharing their personal stories, sending their best and praying for us. It really is so heartwarming — from the bottom of my heart, thank you,” the post reads. “Thanks for taking the time out of your day and sharing with us the different ways you’ve kept your baby with you, honored his/her life, and learned to cope with their loss. It is so helpful for us.”

Naming their son was something Otis says she heard would help the couple cope with their loss — which made sense for them, since they’d been talking about baby names since the moment they learned they were expecting.

“Even though we’ve been thinking about a name for our baby Hehner for so long, somehow all the names we were thinking before just didn’t fit,” she explains of their process before settling on the right name for their son.

Jamie Otis Doug Hehner Baby Name 2
Karolina Wojtasik/A&E Networks

The actress and author also uses her blog entry to get honest about how the loss, which the couple experienced less than a week ago, is currently affecting her daily processes.

“I’m trying to listen and ‘move on a bit’ but I just can’t quite figure out how to continue with everyday life. I just have no motivation to do anything,” she admits, sharing that despite the much-appreciated well wishes from loved ones and encouragement that God “had bigger plans” for Johnathan, she has spent a lot of time crying.

RELATED VIDEO: ‘Married at First Sight’’s Doug Hehner Shares Heartbreaking Post After Losing Baby Boy

Thankfully, Hehner has been her rock, coping by continuing with normal everyday activities.

“Doug has been so good to me with all of this. He’s remained very strong while I’ve felt so weak,” she writes. “I told him I was trying my best to be strong and remain positive but I just don’t even know how. He just wrapped his arms around me and let me cry.”

Jen Juneau

FILED UNDER: Jamie Otis , News

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S.T. on

Naming the baby you’ve lost is an important part of the grieving process and establishes the child’s significance in your life. There are days when you think, “was he really here? Did I imagine it? ” and to place a name with it really does solidify the child’s true existence.

I really do think too that the child will carry that name with them in heaven. We’ve lost many babies and each of them we’ve taken the time to pray about the perfect name. Each time, we’ve agreed almost immediately on the name- it just fit. It helped to know our babies were real.

The term miscarriage often does not really describe the pain or the deep loss. It almost is a “brush off” term that, unless you’ve been though one, you can not fully comprehend the pain and the hole in your life and heart that never goes away.

He will always be their first child, their first son. They will always remember what age he’d be as the years pass, when he’d be entering kindergarten, when he’d be riding his first bike….you just never live the same way again. “Moving on” is a terrible term. Really what you do is move forward because you have no other choice and eventually your soul accepts the fact that that baby is not coming back.

I can’t tell you how many times I have prayed, though, for my babies to miraculously come back. It’s not possible and while I have accepted they are actually being bathed in joy and love in heaven and would be disappointed to leave such a beautiful place to head to earth, my heart longs for them to return so that I can get to fully know them. That is something I will have to patiently wait for until I die and am with them again.

By naming them, I am able to talk to them individually and I do think that God will deliver the messages of love on my behalf.

May God grant Doug and Jamie peace as they go through this journey. It’s so hard.

Marky on

I have never had a miscarriage myself, but have known many friends who did…all of them, even the ones who had initially thought, “oh dear, not right now!” when they found out they were pregnant…all have grieved, and been sad that their child had died. They grieve that they never got to hold them, never heard them cry, never heard them laugh, or never got to play with them in the park….so many things we all take for granted with our children. I worked L&D and held the hands of women, and their partners as well, as they grieved. To minimize that is to be beyond cruel. Wow, barbecue…so happy not to know you. Get off the Babies site, and spread your venom in your own backyard! I hope this couple will go to the FB site, Angel Baby Blankets, and choose a blanket made for them as a gift; it has been a real help to several I know. God bless them through this difficult time, and please Jamie, don’t let yourself get “stuck” in the grief!

Sarah on

It’s crazy that no one has ever had a miscarriage before these no-names. More articles about it, please!

Stephanie on

All these bible bashing women bashing barbecue here, ridiculous. He/She is totally right. These people have lost the plot. The fetes was 17 weeks old. That’s basically nothing. It was never born and not fully developed, so they should stop to exploit that story once for all. What’s next…a go-fund-me page for the unborn fetes. I had two miscarriages myself, so please spare me your hate comments. You grief and then you move on. You do not name a 17 week old fetes, you just don’t. This couple is ridiculous and people bashing Bbq are too.

Rebecca on

What angers me is that she paid to have two previous pregnancies terminated. She murdered two previous lives and didn’t name them or grieve for them that I’ve heard of. But the child she wanted had more value and she can’t shut up about it. I don’t feel sorry for her because karma always gets you one way or another. I do feel sorry for Doug and the loss of the baby.

Dawn Wyman on

@ Stephanie you chose not to name the babies you lost. That is your decision. If naming their baby helps then with their grief, then who are we to judge? Everybody grieves in their own way.

S on

Lovely sentiments, S.T. and Millie.

S.F on

Jamie & Doug:
Let me express my heartfelt condolences to the both of you for the loss of your son. I know exactly how you are feeling. I lost my daughter at 21 weeks. I named her Arianna… There is not a day that goes that I still think about her, but it does get easier. There is no reason that doctors give us as to why this happens. It takes time to grieve the passing of a child, and you need that . Take this time to grieve, lean on your husband for he is grieving as well, lean on family and friends to guild you though. Me personally what helped me was to speak to someone to help me get through life again. Take as much time as you need, but know that there are others out there that feel your pain, and understand what your going through May God grant you peace and serenity, and help guide you through this . Love and prayers to you both..!

B.B. on

I’m so sorry for the loss of your baby boy. Regardless of some of he cruel comments that some people have made, losing a baby through miscarriage is a great loss that most couples do grieve over. It really doesn’t even matter how many weeks pregnant you were when the loss occurred. What matters is all of the plans you had for that baby and your future! That’s part of what you are grieving, too! May God grant you peace during this grieving process and I pray that you will be blessed with another child one day that you can love the same way you love this one!

JustJanet on

People who haven’t lived through what you have don’t fully understand. I have 3 kids, but had 3 miscarriages too… one at 12 weeks and 2 at fourteen weeks. The last miscarriage was on my birthday, and it was heart wrenching! Once you make it past the 12 week mark, it feels like going you can ‘breathe’… but we know it’s not always the case.
Please grieve for as long as it takes, because you not only lost a baby, but you may be questioning your ability to go to term. It’s complicated sometimes.
Just know that many people wish you and Doug happy days, and a loving life. Enjoy the Holidays and each other… who knows if you start something on Thanksgiving… you may be announcing it on V-day! Happy Hugs, Janet Pare’

paula burett on

Jamie and Doug My heart goes out to you. My son and his wife lost their little girl at 4 months also. They named their precious little girl Londyn Marie. She will be in our hearts forever. I am so sorry this happened to you guys. May God bless you and comfort you. Paula.