Married at First Sight‘s Jamie Otis Posts Heartfelt Message to the Baby She Lost

07/16/2016 at 03:20 PM ET

Jamie Otis continues to speak out about her struggles after losing her first child, a baby boy, when she was just four months pregnant.

On Saturday, the Married at First Sight star posted a bittersweet message to the baby on her Instagram account.

“Not a day goes by that I don’t wake up thinking of you, Baby Hehner. I know I have to get back to ‘normal life’ but I just don’t know how to,” Otis, 30, captioned two sweet photos from her pregnancy photoshoot with husband Doug Hehner, 35.

Jamie Otis Doug Hehner Lose Baby Source: Jamie Otis/Instagram

“Today daddy and I are going to pick out a perfect name for you,” she continued. “We love you so much. I hope you’re bouncing on clouds and feeling loved all the way up in heaven.”

The couple announced the sad news on social media on Wednesday. They had confirmed Otis’ pregnancy and December due date to PEOPLE just last week.

On Thursday, Otis published a blog post about the devastating loss.

“My heart is so heavy,” she wrote. “There are no words to express the pain and sorrow associated with losing our baby Hehner.”

She continued: “He was given to us so graciously by God, and then God took him away way too early. My heart hurts so bad. Losing our baby has been the most terrible experience. I wish no one would ever have to endure this.”

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A close friend of the couple told PEOPLE that “Jamie is the strongest woman I know.”

“And Doug has remained her rock through everything. Their love will get them through this,” the friend said.

— Andrea Park

FILED UNDER: Jamie Otis , News

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Showing 16 comments

Terri Sinclair on

So sorry. I just read this AM that you were pregnant and only a couple hours later read this. Be strong. Try again. You are a great couple – I’ve watched you from the beginning.l and know as painful as this is you will get through it. I did.

Most importantly now – let this strengthen your relationship. Not sever it.

Sending much love and healing your way.

BC on

I know your pain all to well. I know life seems cruel and unfair right now but there will be good times again. I’m sorry for the loss of baby H. May you find peace + light.

Tina on

Jamie and Doug may have gotten together through extremely unnatural circumstances but what they are going through right now is very real. I hope that they are able to pull through this and ultimately come out stronger. I wish them all the best.

Sharon Militello, RN on

It is my heartfelt wish they are able to understand the will of God and come to terms with this loss. God has a plan; He will allow them the children they so earnestly desire; and, they will be parents soon. May their sorrow be filled with prayers from those of us who know too well the loss they have suffered.

Wedontknow on

It is no answer as to why things happen the way that they do. I was so excited, planned my pregnancy, found out I was pregnant. Then had a miscarriage. I was devastated. Just when I thought things just could not get better. I found out I was pregnant again!! Long story short, I gave birth to twins!! boy/girl. Now 18-year-old high school graduates entering college this fall. Keep your head up!!

Emily Fulton on

My heart aches for her as I know her pain all too well. Only 5 weeks ago I lost my first son when he was born too soon at 24 weeks. I wouldn’t wish this pain and grief and suffering on my worst enemy. Only time and love and support will help them through this nightmare. I hope she continues to speak out about it because it’s a very important part of the grieving process. Don’t bottle things up! Talk about your baby, he existed! He mattered! And he was very loved!

EE on

My prayers are with you. I have had 3 2nd trimester losses, all boys. It is not easy. This is not normal if you don’t know why you lost your baby I recommend you get tested for MTHFR. (Around 50-70% of the population have a form of this genetic mutation) I have 3 copies of this genetic mutation. I have had 4 babies but now that I have had these losses I now have to take lovenox shots while pregnant to help prevent any more losses. And you also need to take methylfolate not folic acid. I will continue to pray for your family, don’t be afraid to talk about your baby keep his memory alive. It is important to acknowledge his existence.

ac on

God knows best for whatever reasons. Don’t blame Him…..I have been in your shoes. It is sad, horrible, and a loss…..Just TRUST that God knows the plans for your future and your childrens …….. I had a wonderful son after my loss – –

Kathy on

She had a miscarriage, just like many women do every day. Why is this news?

Marky on

Some people really understand that when you have felt that baby move, have seen him/her on a sonogram and listened to that heartbeat…that baby you have longed for is so real to you and you’ve already begun to see where the crib will go, you are looking at clothes, and thinking about what it will be like when s/he is born. Suddenly, all those dreams are destroyed and your heart aches in a way you never thought it could. For those who have no empathy for that terrible hurt in someone’s life, shame on you for being so harsh and hateful. For those who do care, thank you for understanding what Jamie and Doug are feeling. Many men are genuinely looking forward to the new baby in their lives just as their partner is and their hearts are breaking as well. Sorry to hear of their loss……

Linda on

I know what your going thru Jamie. I lost 2 full term babies at birth. I know your heart aches and the tears overflow. Your never the same, but you will someday hopefully try for another. We ended up adopting cause I couldn’t go thru the heartache again. May God give you the strength and peace to get thru losing your son.❤

Hmm on

Why is a planned baby “given graciously by God”, named, and mourned…and an unplanned baby is vacuumed out, discarded in the trash, and never given the same respectf as the planned baby that is lost? Wasn’t the unplanned baby still given by God (if you’re religious–I’m not–but trying to make a point here)?

Rebecca on

Hmmm….you read my mind. She can’t stop posting about her loss, which is just awful. I’ve lost a child as well. However, she paid a doctor to murder the first two babies she was pregnant with. I feel more sorry for Doug and her baby than her.

kitty62862 on

So sad.

I wish them peace and healing.

Don’t know what else to say.

Ugh. on

Rebecca, hmmm, if you don’t understand the difference, you’re too stupid to ask.

Rebecca on

Ugh….first of all, I never said I didn’t understand anything. Learn to read, “stupid”. Second of all, we were making the point that she can’t shut up about the end of her “planned” pregnancy and how devastated she is, but she had two others purposefully MURDERED thru abortion and didn’t show much compassion for them. Period.