Jamie Otis Details Losing Son in Emotional Blog Post: ‘I Wish No One Would Ever Have to Endure This’

07/14/2016 at 01:25 PM ET

Jamie Otis is revealing more about the loss of her and Married at First Sight costar and husband Doug Hehner‘s first baby, just one day after sharing the heartbreaking news.

“My heart is so heavy,” Otis, whose little boy was due in December, wrote Thursday in a new blog post. “There are no words to express the pain and sorrow associated with losing our baby Hehner.”

Jamie Otis Doug Hehner Lose Baby Source: Jamie Otis/Instagram


Otis, 30, explained that she had recently decided to visit a high risk pregnancy doctor’s office over concerns that she was bleeding too much. The reality star said the baby was still moving around and had a strong heartbeat, and doctors found nothing wrong with the placenta.

Visiting the first of four specialists, Otis and Hehner learned, however, that things were not okay with their little one — she did not have enough amniotic fluid.

“How could the prognosis be so ‘poor’ when I had just seen our baby’s feet kicking and his little body bouncing around in my belly less than a week before,” Otis writes. “Needless to say, we didn’t want to believe in that prognosis even though everyone raved about how amazing this doctor is. (And there’s no doubt in my mind he is an amazing doctor, but we were just in such denial!) We decided I would go on bed rest, drink lots of coconut water and even more regular spring water and fight for our baby.”

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Otis (who recently released her memoir Wifey 101) asserted that “so much more happens” after her initial appointment, information that she is not yet ready to share with the public. Asking for prayers, Otis writes of her little boy, “I know he is up in heaven and I am sure he is bouncing on clouds, but selfishly I wish he was still bouncing in my belly.”

She continues, “He was given to us so graciously by God, and then God took him away way too early. My heart hurts so bad. Losing our baby has been the most terrible experience. I wish no one would ever have to endure this.”

In conjunction with the emotional post, Otis shared a photo from one of her final doctor’s office visits on Instagram. Alongside the image, Otis thanked fans for their support.

“Jamie is the strongest woman I know,” a close friend of the couple told PEOPLE. “And Doug has remained her rock through everything. Their love will get them through this.”

Hehner, 35, also spoke out about losing the baby on social media Wednesday, writing to his son, “you will forever be in our hearts.”

— Lindsay Kimble

FILED UNDER: Jamie Otis , News

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Dawn on

So very sad.

Lisa on

My heart breaks for you. I have experience multiple miscarriages. The pain never leaves you…it lessens, but never leaves. May the future hold a happy, healthy baby for you and your husband. That little soul will watch over you forever. Keep the faith that being a parent is in your future. Surround yourself with those who can give you love and support even when it is awkward to know what to say or do.

N on

It is incredibly brave of her to be sharing her story, especially so soon after her loss. I miscarried my first baby almost 2 years ago and I’ve never had the courage to speak about it. My thoughts are with her and her husband.

CJ on

My prayers are with her too. I’ve had several miscarriages due to a chromosomal disorder and it’s very hard. Each and every time.

shleisher2013 on

I’m so very sorry for your loss. My first son Wilder was stillborn at 38 1/2 weeks. He would have been 17 years old yesterday. No cause was ever found. There is no getting over a loss like this, but I have found that time and the friendship of those who understand can help one to accommodate to the loss. Sadly, there are about 2.6 million women and men who lose their babies in the third trimester alone every year. Women and men who grieve through the first days and months as you are now doing. 4.2 million women who are now living with depression associated with the stillbirth of their babies. The stigma of stillbirth can make the unimaginable loss even worse–too often, babies who died before birth are “swept under the rug”, ignored by society and well-meaning friends and family who advise the bereaved to move on and forget, while some healthcare workers perpetuate a sense of fatalism, that the death was “meant to be” or unavoidable. In fact, the majority of stillbirths are preventable, particularly in low-income countries where 98% of stillbirths occur. This highlights another terrible aspect of stillbirth, that women who are economically or socially disadvantaged have twice the risk of stillbirth as those without such disadvantages. If you would like to learn more about stillbirth and what can be done globally, visit the International Stillbirth Alliance website at http://www.stillbirthalliance.org/ And, from one bereaved mother to another, please accept my heartfelt condolences.

Jenn on

I went through this. Didnt discuss it with anyone but my family though…who blogs about this????

Kimberly on

My heart breaks for you and understand how painful it is to lose a baby. I also had a miscarriage – also my first pregnancy – a girl. You will always carry that little boy in your heart. I also truly believe that you will see him again someday.

Eileen tolan on

Im so very sorry. I know your pain. I lost my son in the 9th month. He just stopped moving one night. I gave birth to him after i found out he had past. He was 4 pounds 13oz and it was heartbreaking. There is nothing anyone can say or do for that empty feeling inside you. All i can say is take the time to grieve. Dont let anyone tell you how to grieve or how long. This was your son. This was a baby. This was a life and people can be cruel in things they might say when there just trying to help. The worst thing you could say to someone that has lost a child is that you can have another one. Omg we dont want another one right now we want this one.turn to each other as your sons parents. No one knows your pain as much as each other because no one loved him more than you.agian i am truely sorry.

J on

I had a stillbirth at 41 weeks,my first baby, so a bit different than a misscarriage, but the pain is still the same, and the trauma that you endure delivering a perfectly healthy baby that suddenly passed with out any explanation…. 1 in 160 pregnancies in the US will resort to stillbirth, that roughly 26,000 a year and no one talks about it. 50 % of The time there is no identifiable cause. It’s heartbreaking. I am now pregnant with my rainbow baby, praying that each day passes brings me closer to a live healthy baby! My hearts are with these two.

Kristen on

PEOPLE, thank you for sharing this family’s story openly and loudly on your front page. Baby and pregnancy loss effects millions of people annually and no one talks about it. Thank you for helping #shatterthestigma of pregnancy and infant loss. threelittlebirdsperinatal.org

Debra on

I lost my 13 year old son in an auto accident. My heart aches for you and in my prayers. He is bouncing on clouds in Heaven

Kate on

How heartbreaking. Thank you for opening up about your loss, this should not be taboo.

Irene on

Miscarriage is a terrible loss! I hope the future holds a rainbow baby for each & every person who experiences miscarriage! ❤️🌈

J on

My heart also breaks for her. My friend’s son had low amniotic fluid and died shortly after birth. It was found that he had Potter’s Syndrome. My thoughts are with Jamie and Doug.

Tay on

I had two back-to-back miscarriages and the physical and emotional pain is extremely difficult to deal with. I think it’s great that she’s able to talk/write about it. I couldn’t talk about it for a long time, but part of that was because I didn’t know of anyone else who had gone through it. If more people talk about their own experiences, it might make it easier for others to cope.

Vicky on

I too experienced this. A still born at 26 weeks. You’re on the right path. It’s good to talk about and release it. Your arms are going to be so heavy for days, missing the baby that they will never hold. Hugs from wide opened arms will help. Family and friends not knowing what to say or what to do. What’s the appropriate thing to say? All I wanted was for them to open their arms and hold me and never let go. It’s rough right now but it will get better, I promise. Just pray.

Momof2 on

I’m so sorry to hear this is not what you want to hear. I get it. I’ve lost 5 babies and was lucky enough to have 2 finally. Take time for yourselves, respect yourself enough to do what you feel comfortable with, and when people give you a pitty party, cut them off, it only makes it worse. I wish you luck and love in your journey to parenthood! Rest well little one!

Sharon on

Doug continue to be her rock and hold her tight. Let het cry. My husband was my rock and is what got me thru our miscarriage. There will be so many emotional levels she will go thru. It’s hard to make sence of why and she may blame herself. Just be there for Jamie as much as you can. Then be careful what you wish for, we had twins almost 11 months following our miscarriage.

Marie coetser on

Jamie my heart goes out to you and Daug.May God bring healing in your hearts very soon

Shauna on

I am so very sorry to hear about this loss. I too understand all too well what it is like to have a loss. It is one of the hardest things I have ever had to go through. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. One day, God will send you a forever baby to love and I know you two will be amazing parents!

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