Matt Dallas on Adopting Son Crow as a Same Sex Couple: ‘I Was Pretty Set on Using a Surrogate’

07/12/2016 at 01:45 PM ET

Matt Dallas and Blue Hamilton are opening up about their adoption story, starting with how they arrived at the place where they both knew they were ready for parenthood.

“There were so many things we were juggling that I was just really worried about it not being the right time,” says the 33-year-old Kyle XY star in a video posted to the couple’s YouTube channel about the experience in adopting their son Crow this past December.

For Hamilton, 36, his biggest concern was financial stability and being able to provide enriching experiences for their child — but he came to the realization that it will never be the “perfect” time.

” ‘I want to take our kid to Disneyland,’ and ‘I want to take our kid to New York,’ and ‘I want to take our kid to New Orleans,’ ” the musician recounts of the goals he had in mind before adopting Crow, who’s now 2½. “I [eventually] realized that you’ll just continue working for that, so the only way to do it … if you want a family, you just gotta do it.”

Matt Dallas Blue Hamilton Talk Adoption
Blue Hamilton/Instagram

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The Arizona-based couple, who just celebrated their first wedding anniversary, also talk about how their decision changed from wanting to have their own child biologically via surrogate to embracing the idea of adoption.

For Dallas specifically, he was attached to the idea of looking at his child and seeing his family’s physical representation — but that changed once he and Hamilton spoke more in depth about the option they eventually settled on.

“I was pretty set on using a surrogate and having my own kid because it was always a dream of mine to be able to have a kid and look into a child’s eyes and see a piece of myself,” Dallas admits. “Initially, I was a little bit more hesitant to adopt.”

He continues, addressing Hamilton, “[But] the more I spoke to you about it … the more I realized that it didn’t matter, and that even if we adopt now, it doesn’t mean that, in the future, I can never have my own [biological] kid.”

“I guess you have a few more years,” Hamilton jokes to him.

“What are you talking about? We’re men, we can have babies until we’re 90,” Dallas teases back.

Coming at ya this #Tuesday #mattandblue #happyfathersday

A video posted by matt dallas (@mattdallas) on

In all seriousness, Hamilton understands the desire to want to pass on genes, as he felt that way initially too. But the older he has gotten, the more he can see that, for him, that desire was “selfish.”

“What I really wanted was a child to raise and love and put into the world — to unleash him to go do good,” he says.

Dallas and Hamilton learned a lot from their adoption certification class, even though it sounded “daunting and overwhelming” at first. In fact, it helped Dallas feel a lot more prepared for parenthood, although he admits he felt like he and Hamilton would’ve made good fathers without it too since they’re both naturally very nurturing.

“I felt much more prepared for a lot of situations that I hadn’t necessarily thought through — like, the reality of what it meant to have a kid, and what to do in certain emergency situations,” he says. “What to react to and what not to overreact to. Overall, I felt a lot more confident that I would be able to handle any situation that was thrown at me.”

“Until we got the call that we were getting a kid the next day,” Hamilton jokes. “Then all that goes out the window and you start panicking.”

Happy Father's Day to the best daddie ever.

A photo posted by matt dallas (@mattdallas) on

But that panic was short-lived as soon as they laid eyes on their son for the first time.

“He looks up at us, and he just gets this big smile,” says proud dad Hamilton, who adds that Crow — who was only in a diaper because it was so hot outside — put his arms out and hugged him tightly the minute Hamilton went to pick him up.

“The second we [saw him] and he just burst into that giant smile … immediately, we had fallen in love with this kid,” says Dallas.

Jen Juneau

FILED UNDER: Matt Dallas , News , Parenting

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Showing 22 comments

Brooke on

I see abandoned, neglected, abused children by straight parents every day in my job. This little boy is so lucky to have two daddies that love him so much

mer on

They sound like very reasonable and loving parents – and that’s all that matters.

ACTP on

The kid should be shyting a brick over being named Crow.

CAROLYN on

Beautiful family.

TimF on

> The kid should be shyting a brick over being named Crow.

better, in this case, than being named, Green or Red, or Alexander or Kyle

Jenna on

“What I really wanted was a child to raise and love and put into the world — to unleash him to go do good,” he says.

Sounds like you guys will be amazing parents! Best of luck to your beautiful family🙂

Jess on

Nothing but two selfish people here. Women give birth to children to raise them up. They’re not suppose to give birth to then hand them off to other people. This is one of the most awful things happening in our society. We have yet ANOTHER child who will have to grow up without the love of his MOTHER. Very sad indeed.

Debbe on

Congratulations to this beautiful couple and their beautiful son. Wishing a lifetime of wonderful memories.

myuntidydesk on

I wish more people understood that a child doesn’t have to have your DNA to have your traits… to have bits of your personality… your mannerisms. My cousin K is adopted and is as tough as her mother and our granddad… my cousin B is adopted and is as stubborn as our granddad and has a soft spot for little kids like my dad and grandma did. There are so many ways to be a family… I really wish more people chose adoption… take care of the kids that are already out there and in need of a family!

Debbe on

Jess….um…you should THANK this couple for adopting the child. The mother gave her child up, the dad did too….probably both straight parents. my son’s father left me when I was pregnant and let me to raise my son alone. But he turned out great with just a mom. 30 percent of households are single parent families, but this kid has two loving dads. Good for him, my son didn’t even have one.

Debbe on

Gave “him” up….sorry didn’t mean to say her m

D on

Its bad enough that their two lives are a mess, but now the poor kid is gonna be mixed up and seriously screwed up most likely. It still baffles me that gay men and women can’t figure out that the fact that it takes both a man and a woman to reproduce alone should tell them something is not normal or healthy.

Ellen, an adoptive mom on

Happy for them all! Just one comment. “Having my own kid” in reference to fathering a biological child is passé language. Adopting a child IS having your own kid! Adopted children are not second class bargain basement offspring, somehow “substandard” to producing kids biologically. Our joyful language on becoming parents should reflect that biological or adoptive children are indistinguishable–and dearly loved.

Joan on

Why is it that every time I see a headline about Matt Dallas and adopting with his partner I think it reads Matt Dillon? I always do a double take and say to myself, ‘Wow I didn’t know Matt Dillon was gay and adopting. Who are those people in the picture? OH… Dallas.’ This is the third time I’ve done it. Congrats to the happy parents and child. May they forever be happy.

Stevie M on

@Jess “Women give birth to children to raise them up.”

What?! Your comment doesn’t even make sense. Clearly the mother didn’t give birth to a child to raise it. She obviously couldn’t and instead two loving and caring individuals are. Furthermore, who are you to say a child needs a motherin order to be raised right? I have a 16 year old cousin who was adopted by a straight couple. He just got out of rehab. So a child’s lack of a mother means nothing. A child needs love and care. That’s all.

Kennan on

It’s plenty ridiculous that people see this as a selfish or wrong ordeal. Women will always birth children, but just because it came out of you does not mean that every mother will be a mother to their child. Children are given up for adoption for several reasons: family, rape guilt, abuse, lack of mothering instinct, or no want for the child. Better to be adopted by two men in a beautiful relationship who will nurture and help him grow than a negligent mother who cannot help her child to live in this crazy world we live in today. There is no selfishness or wrong in this – the child gets a chance at a beautiful and happy life. Selfishness and wrong can be excuses for abortion.

Heather on

Apparently this couple has paid People magazine to Repost this story every twelve hours. Anything for publicity and fame.

Myopinion on

I think some people are smoking some serious dope. Two men are totally able to raise a child. Not all mothers are nurturing and caring. Luckily this child has two loving parents, he is very lucky.

Dawn on

My face hurts from smiling!! What a lucky little boy to be raised by parents who clearly adore him and will embrace all there is to raising a loving human being!

d on

I really think this is so great, adoption is in my opinion better that having their own if a couple cant have kids of their own the “usual way”. So many kids need a parent out there and I think this is wonderful of them and selfless:)

WeAreStars on

Jess sounds bitter. Something didn’t go right in his own life. What a child needs is someone to be crazy about him, and here he has two loving parents who care about him. He’s going to have a wonderful life full of great experiences and love. I wish they would adopt me!

af on

Azz rammers is one sick bastard! How dare you write something like that?

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