Marla Sokoloff’s Blog: Is Anywhere Truly Terror-Proof?

06/17/2016 at 06:45 PM ET

Celebrity blogger Marla Sokoloff is now a mom of two!

Since audiences first got to know her at age 12 as Gia on Full House, Sokoloff has had many memorable TV roles — Jody on Party of Five, Lucy on The Practice, Claire on Desperate Housewives — as well as turns on the big screen in Whatever It TakesDude, Where’s My Car? and Sugar & Spice.

Sokoloff, 35, played Dani on ABC Family’s The Fosters and also starred in a two-episode arc on Grey’s Anatomy.

She wed her husband, music composer Alec Puro, in November 2009 and the couple — plus pup Coco Puro — make their home in Los Angeles.

In March 2015, they welcomed their second child, Olive Mae, a sibling for 4-year-old daughter Elliotte Anne.

You can find Sokoloff on Twitter and Instagram.

Marla Sokoloff blog
Courtesy Marla Sokoloff

On Memorial Day, we took a family trip to Disneyland — something we do quite often as we are kind of one of those kooky Disney-obsessed families — and as we walked through the sparkling gates of the Magic Kingdom, I felt uneasy.

Unsafe.

Vulnerable.

The large space felt incredibly crowded and open and I started to feel a bit paranoid. I have visited Disneyland more times than I can count and this was the first time I have ever felt this way.

In a perfect world, I wanted every person there to be thoroughly checked as if we were boarding an airplane before I could completely enjoy a fun-filled day with my family. That’s a crazy person thought, right? That I would feel more comfortable if all of these families enjoying their holiday afternoon with Mickey Mouse removed their shoes, pulled out their 3 oz. bottles of liquid, went through a metal detector and had a thorough TSA screening before boarding It’s a Small World.

It made me sad and angry that I even needed to consider any of this at the place I have safely been visiting since I was a baby, but it truly is a sign of the times that we are currently living in. The saddest part is, it’s not that crazy and probably isn’t that far away from actually happening.

Marla Sokoloff blog
Courtesy Marla Sokoloff

The very next week … a talented beautiful young woman with the brightest future ahead of her was shot and killed while engaging with her fans. Twenty-four hours after that, 49 innocent lives were taken at the hands of one angry and confused individual.

You all know the story, I don’t need to remind us all of the agony in our hearts, but the footprint that has been left by these tragedies is something none of us will ever be able to shake. I feel helpless. Gutted. Scared. I can’t stop reading the stories about these young victims who senselessly died. In one instant all of their hopes and dreams are robbed from them.

As a parent, I don’t know how to ease the anxiety I feel about letting my kids leave my sight. When my 4-year-old walks out the door for school every morning, she rips my heart out of my chest and carries it off with her.

More from Marla’s PEOPLE.com blog series:

Marla Sokoloff blog
Courtesy Marla Sokoloff

Have I become that person living in fear? That mom looking over her shoulder wondering what I would do if put in that unimaginable scenario? In retrospect, I suppose I have. Of course we aren’t living in a bubble by any means, and my children aren’t aware of ANY of this — but there is a newfound pit in my stomach that I cannot seem to shake.

I can honestly say that I am terrified for my family and everyone around me and I just don’t know what we are going to do. How will this ever get better? How can I send my children off to school every morning when it’s been proven more than once that they aren’t even safe there? The movies aren’t safe, the mall isn’t safe, the grocery store isn’t safe, the airport isn’t safe …

Aside from locking my children in a bunker underneath our home (still considering this), there is nowhere truly terror proof.

For every one of those 49 victims who were dancing at a nightclub on a Saturday night, or the 20 kindergarteners and first graders at Sandy Hook Elementary, there are 69 mothers waiting to hear if their baby is alive. Calling their cell phones praying that the voice on the other end picks up, driving to their school frantically searching for their face. This grief is unimaginable and it makes me emphatically angry that this is our reality.

Marla Sokoloff blog
Courtesy Marla Sokoloff

I don’t want to remember this dark time, but in the same breath, I also don’t want to forget it. It makes me sad that Aurora and San Bernardino are almost erased from our brains because we’ve moved on to the next catastrophic event. I want to remember every face and every story when I’m voting this year — I’m going to call my senator (takes 30 seconds — would love for you to join me) and sign every petition that I see.

I don’t know if it will help, but whatever I’m currently doing isn’t helping either so I’m willing to put my efforts into trying something new. Something that could possibly change the conversation, give it some light when we are so deep in the darkness.

I want my children to feel safe with their children. I want to one day take my grandchildren to the happiest place on earth and not feel like I have to trade my Mickey ears for a bulletproof vest. I want it for my family, I want it for yours, and I want it for all of the lives that have been lost that will never be forgotten.

I’m not entirely sure why I wrote this blog, I generally try to write about parenting stuff and how I’m dealing with certain issues … but I guess I just wanted to reach out and say I’m not dealing. I’m not okay with any of this. I am terrified to raise my baby girls in this world. I want them to grow up feeling safe and secure.

Marla Sokoloff blog
Courtesy Marla Sokoloff

I always felt so protected by my parents; as long as they were around, I was untouchable. I am committed to doing my best to protect my children from the ills of the world so they too will feel safe with me.

Out of respect for the victims, I kindly ask that you please keep the comments on topic and with compassion. If you want to chat more you can find me here:

Instagram: Realmarlasok
Twitter: @marlasok
Email: marlasokblog@gmail.com

— Marla Sokoloff

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Showing 7 comments

Carol on

Well said. As a mom I feel exactly the same way, helpless, terrified and unfamiliar with this new normal I must raise my children in. I constantly worry about public spaces now when I just want to enjoy our summer activities. What’s happening these days is so surreal. I just want it to stop.

April on

I wish so badly a Disney representative would go to observe what an amazing job Universal studios does for their patrons ! It’s UNREAL the difference ! We are a family of 4 and have passes to Disney and Universal ! At Disney NOT everyone goes through a detector ! They chose ” random patrons ” ! Upsets me so much bc they are Disney and your right we should feel VERY safe there ! At Universal EVERY person goes through one ! It’s moves VERY quickly and it’s SO amazing ! Strollers and wheelchairs go through as well ! How cool is that ! If your newborn baby is sleeping no need to wake , stroller just goes through !
My hope so badly is that Disney SOON does this !
Thank you for your amazing article ! We feel your pain and know what your going through !! ( hugs )

Disappointed on

She speaks so much truth. No place is terror proof. No place is safe. Every common place has become a target and no place is sacred or off limits anymore. This is the world that we’re living in and it’s scary. And terrible.

Zol on

Well written post. Marla speaks truth that no place is safe, kudos to her.

Me on

Lovely post. She is speaking out what she really feels. Good for her.

CareBear on

I couldn’t agree more with this. It kinda hit home for me when my youngest son said to me “mommy, we don’t really go shopping together anymore”. He’s right. I used to love grabbing the kids and going to Target …. looking at everything …. buying a toy from the $1 section. Now, I prefer to run out on my own to do our shopping. I want to get in and out and not put my kids at any ‘unnecessary’ risk. How messed up is that? I try not no to let my fears rule me, and they do go to sporting events and amusement parks, but in the back of my mind I’m always anxiously looking and planning our escape plan if somehow we happen to be at the next wrong place at the wrong time. 😢

Luis Martinez on

I understand the feelings people have and like that people are starting to realized that no place is completely safe. Many of us have known and realized this long ago. The problem I see is just blindly signing any petition that crosses your eyes. That is such a lazy and ineffective way of solving real problems that need solving to save lives. Simply trying something new is a lazy way to approach a problem.

People need to actually think things through. Critical thinking is needed. Isn’t this problem worth trying to think our way to a solution?

What happens when you simply sign everything/try something new and then more lives are lost. What if those lives could have been saved had you given this some actual thought. The real solutions to a problem aren’t always the ones first presented to you and simply signing everything can sometimes make things worse. People of hear a new idea or law and don’t actually think it through. Play it out in your mind. get the perspective of those with experience and if it turns out the new idea or law wont work, than don’t do it and don’t sign it.