Kelly Killoren Bensimon on Her Struggles with Postpartum Depression: ‘I Was Petrified’

06/15/2016 at 04:30 PM ET

The celebrity moms who participate in PEOPLE’s Mom Talk series aren’t afraid to tackle some hard-hitting subjects, and the newest edition is no exception.

“I had postpartum really bad [with my first child],” Real Housewives of New York City star Kelly Killoren Bensimon, 48, shares. “I couldn’t drive, I had anxiety, I didn’t want to be by myself.”

Killoren Bensimon — whose two daughters, Sea Louise and Thaddeus Ann, are now in their teens — also confesses she didn’t have the support she wishes she could’ve had.

“My ex-husband had just left to go traveling, and I was with this child by myself,” she says. “I was so young and none of my friends had kids, and I just … I was petrified.”

Kelly Bensimon
Scott Roth/Invision/AP

Want all the latest pregnancy and birth announcements, plus celebrity mom blogs? Click here to get those and more in the PEOPLE Babies newsletter.

“It was on and off for like two years,” Killoren Bensimon replies candidly when popular YouTuber and mom of six Mindy McKnight, 37, asks how long her postpartum depression lasted.

She also adds that on top of the depression she felt after her first daughter’s birth, she was physically sick during her pregnancy, and that she tried a patch that doctors said would help balance out her hormones.

“That was the worst,” she says of her experience, adding, “Postpartum is really, really horrible.”

Kelly Killoren Bensimon Mom Talk

“I had no one to defer to except research material from, like, the ice age,” Killoren Bensimon says, noting that the internet makes it so much easier nowadays.

“When I was having a child, women were not really open to talking about the good and the bad things,” she adds. “You guys seem very open about ‘There’s good, bad and there’s ugly.’

“And a lot of women are like, ‘No no no, it’s perfect, it’s all great,’ ” Killoren Bensimon continues. “And I’m like, ‘I’m not great. I’m not feeling good.’ ”

Jen Juneau

FILED UNDER: Mom Talk

Share this story:

Your reaction:

Add A Comment

PEOPLE.com reserves the right to remove comments at their discretion.

Showing 13 comments

SoapPoop on

Guess what Kelly? Nobody cares! Your attempts to stay relevant and stay in the spotlight are ridiculous.

Craig Dobson on

Stay home and look after your kid and take it like every other woman does. You are contributing to the future generation.

Marky on

It seems odd to me that SoapPoop (really?), and Craig Dobson are both making some really rude comments considering how serious PPD can be for many women. It has even resulted in women killing their children because they have lost touch with reality, while friends and family either don’t notice how depressed the new mom is, or they keep saying, “suck it up, and get off your backside!” like Craig. Unbelievable that posters even use the term “trying to stay relevant” when someone is addressing a topic as important as this. SMH What is going on with posters? Do you really not understand that you don’t come across as witty and clever, but rather as unfeeling, unintelligent jerks? PPD is a serious, documented problem for many women, and they often find themselves without support from family, friends, and community because it isn’t understood as well as it should be.

Joy on

Why is she reporting this now? If her daughters are teens why say anything about this now. Strange one she is.

Just saying.. on

@Mandy, it’s a very serious illness, however if you’ve watched RHONY you would know that this woman is not all there to begin with. Perhaps, people find it difficult to be so compassionate towards her because of her behavior on the show. She wasn’t portrayed as a nice person.

Peggy on

Sorry, but 50 year old women do not look good with long beached hair. Shorter to the shoulder or chin and a soft warm color is better.

Edyie on

Why has she been on people.com for a week now? Is she trying to regain her relevance? Sorry if she went through this, but why are we seeing it everyday? First, it was breastfeeding, then post partum. She is clearly looking for some publicity.

Anna on

PPD is horrible and can happen to everyone…he rich and beautiful included! I would not wish PPD on my worst enemy. I just HAVE to comment on the “I was so young….” comment though….she was 30 wen she had her first child….thats not a young mom…thats a very average age mom:)

Marky on

I don’t watch any of “Housewives of….” shows, so don’t even know who the woman is, therefore I’m just listening to her references to PPD (which I had with baby #1), and the constant references to “relevance” seem silly to me. I sometimes watch shows that address topics I am interested in, and while my children are adults now, I still believe that just as I could learn from those older than myself who were dealing with the same issues I did, so can people today. I can learn from those who are older, and I can learn from those who are younger, assuming they are discussing something applicable to me. People are way overly harsh on this site…women should be supportive of other women, not rude, hateful, and having the attitude, “Let’s rip her lungs out and stuff them up her nose…but really, it’s not me, it’s her! Good grief, everyone stinks except me!” Did she say anything all that serious to get upset about? She just shared her story……

Valerie Evans on

This old bat had a baby?

Coco on

But yet we spend our summers in the Hamptons and now worry about something 15 years ago? Give me a break !!!

taradoug82 on

WHY HAS THIS STORY BEEN ON THIS SITE FOR SO LONG?? SHE’S NOT EVEN ON ANY SHOW ANYMORE, AND SHE’S BAT SH-T CRAZY. NO ONE CARES, PEOPLE.

chaussure led or on

Patron, la réception du message, le gm13 conflits!Soros – Lin Feng un ouï – dire.