Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell Are Done Having Kids – And He’s Got a Crazy Vasectomy Story to Prove It

05/19/2016 at 02:00 PM ET

Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell might be America’s most adorable parents, but don’t expect their family to be growing anytime soon.

During a visit to Jimmy Kimmel Live! on Wednesday, Shepard talked about how having two kids — daughters Lincoln, 3, and Delta, 17 months — is “exponentially” harder than having just one. It’s so much harder, in fact, that he recently eliminated any chance he and Bell had to have any more children.

“Last year, my wife was working in Atlanta. We were there and she all of a sudden goes, ‘Oh my gosh! I’m so stupid. I’ve been sick for 10 days and ignoring it — I’m definitely pregnant,’ ” he says. “I was like, ‘We’re going to turn into Jon and Kate Plus 8 or something. We already have no life! This is going to be not worth living.’ I freaked out. It was so bad.”

Dax Shepard Jimmy Kimmel
Jimmy Kimmel Live/YouTube

He continues: “That was Tuesday and she had to work, so for eight hours we didn’t get a pregnancy test. For eight hours I was, like, imagining my life with all these kids. That was Tuesday. I flew home Wednesday for a meeting. Thursday morning, I had a vasectomy.”

Shepard, 41, reveals that Bell, 35, was “not thrilled” with his quick reaction, “but I’m a man of action, so I was in and out.”

And although Shepard says the procedure wasn’t so bad, the follow-up appointment, to which he was supposed to bring a sperm sample to be tested for sterility, caused him a lot of trouble.

His appointment was scheduled for 5:00 p.m. in Beverly Hills and he had a meeting at 3:00 in Burbank, but, Shepard says, he thought he would have plenty of time to “relax, extract, go to Beverly Hills.” Of course, the meeting ran late.

“I have 15 minutes to get from Burbank to Beverly Hills and procure my sample. This is the God’s truth. I had to drive cross-town, rush hour — thank God there was heavy traffic on Laurel Canyon, so it slowed down enough that I could …” he shares.

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“I literally masturbated on Laurel Canyon in heavy traffic … For y’all who have not been on Laurel Canyon, it’s one of the twistier roads in America. It’s hard enough to get through that road while not making love to yourself, into a container.”

Shepard ends with a laugh: “Anyways, the great news is I’m sterile!”

— Andrea Park

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Showing 27 comments

smpalesh on

Why would anyone share that? So gross.

wehavelostcommonsense on

He shared it because he is a no talent disgusting neanderthal. What his wife sees in him is beyond me.

Susie on

I love Dax Shepherd and Kristin Bell, but it’s okay to just say, “We are through, with two!”. No explanation necessary…really.

MtnGirl on

I love them. He shared the story because it was funny. He’s a comedian, that’s what they do. They share funny stories. I love this couple!

Lisa on

Seriousrely people? Lighten up! He shared a funny story on a late night comedic talk show! Because he is a comedian! Sheesh…

Rose on

Hmmmm…sounds to me like he individually made a decision that should have been made with his wife. I may be wrong, but it sounds like Kristen wouldn’t have mind another baby. Anyway a bit TMI in his sharing but I wish them lots of happiness.

thadia on

i would be pissed if my hubby shared such personal info. and it is gross too. i agree with rose. maybe she didnt want him making the decision and blast to the world. people cant keep things to themself. that is serious and personal decision with input from both parties in my opinion. he just try to be relevant like someone else say. ok done lol

Avie on

Women with infertility issues can write comedic blogs about all their struggles. A man tells a funny story about his vasectomy and people lose their minds. It’s funny. Lighten up people.

Anonymous on

I hope his wife was more involved in the decision and this story is just for laughs.

Wake Up People on

Kristen Bell should have been done having kids while she still had 0. Now she’s admitted that there is an X-linked genetic history of mental illness in her family that she went ahead and passed down to her daughters anyway. Shame on her and on her husband for enabling the perpetuation of a global epidemic. I have zero respect for people who knowingly give birth to disabled children just as much as if they had grabbed a vial full of AIDS virus and injected it into a random person on the street. To paraphrase the celebrated Supreme Court Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes, three generations of imbeciles — and bipolar maniacs — is more than enough.

anonymous on

It’s a personal decision, shouldn’t going to public.

Anonymous on

She said quite some time ago after their second, that they were done, that they didn’t want anymore.

His story is funny and I don’t have any doubt he didn’t make this decision alone. If another celebrity told this story, it may not be funny, but he and Kristen, are funny.

Yulander on

Yeah it’s quite a funny story.

Jen on

That was so funny I forgot to laugh.

sarah on

It sounds funny but not enough.

Anonymous on

Too much information. Gross.

Anonymous on

TMI!! He also could have been in or caused an accident… (the vehicle kind)… just didnt wanna know all that…

Rachel on

I mean, that’s a funny story. But he made the decision himself to have a vasectomy? I would think that would be something a couple talks about together beforehand.

Cozy on

He did the right thing cause he sounds like an idiot. Poor Bell.

aja1223 on

Ummm, okay. And his wife not being thrilled is the exact reason in Florida if you’re married your wife has to sign papers agreeing to a vasectomy before its performed. Florida is a kooky state, but at least we’re doing that right.

Lekili on

To the person with the title WAKE UP PEOPLE, you are so very rude with your comments.

Ann on

Good for him! He’s 41 and she’s 35 and they have 2 adorable, healthy children. He did the sensible thing. That said—I don’t think it was necessary to share his experience on TV or anywhere else.

$perm Doner on

That is a very funny story! I’m glad he shared it.

But I don’t know wtf “Wake Up People” is talking about. Did you take your meds?

Guest on

I like them as a couple, and their work individually, but this story is a bit much! TMI!!

HELP!! on

Well, thank the lord he is sterile. I just thought those commercials he was in were annoying but I see he’s annoying in real life too.

KL on

TMI

Sara on

He is hilarious. Love this.

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