Why Kelly Rowland Avoids Saying No to Her Son: ‘I Don’t Want Him to Always Hear’ It

02/05/2016 at 09:30 PM ET

With her adorable son’s first steps behind him, Kelly Rowland is focusing on shaping Titan Jewell by being a persuasive mom.

“I’m trying not to say ‘no’ so much because I don’t want him to always hear ‘no,’ ” the singer, 34, exclusively told PEOPLE at the launch of her new flavors of Seagram’s Escapes in New York City on Wednesday.

Kelly Rowland Parents magazine son Titan

And she already has a communication strategy in place for her 14-month-old son with husband husband Tim Weatherspoon.

“I’ll say no probably one time, and then it’s like, ‘Aw, baby, this isn’t a good idea, let’s try something else. You wanna go over here and play with this?’ ” explains Rowland. “It’s a lot of that these days. He’s an explorer.”

Indeed, little Titan’s independent streak already has him taking on new goals.

“He is wanting to pick up the fork or spoon and feed himself,” shares Rowland. “We’re definitely empowering him to do that.”

Kelly Rowland with son Titan
Matt Sayles/Invision/AP

Still, he revels in time spent with the Destiny’s Child singer.

“Yesterday he told me, ‘Again!’ because I picked him up and swung him around,” Rowland tells PEOPLE. “And that was the first time I ever heard him say that.”

It’s moments like these that make Rowland confident her “very smart kid” will soon speak in complete sentences — and not just in English. Rowland says he already understands Spanish thanks to the family’s Argentinian nanny.

“I’m having to learn because I don’t want him to learn more Spanish than me and start talking circles around me,” she quips. “When she’s speaking to him, he’s picking it up. He’s picking it up rather quickly.”

When she’s not doting on her and Weatherspoon’s mini-me, Rowland is working on her upcoming album — “I can’t wait until you see what I’m doing with the video for [my single] ‘Dumb,’ ” she tells PEOPLE — and her upcoming BET reality-singing competition Chasing Destiny, which seeks to find the next big girl group.

“I’m pretty busy these days, but I love it,” she reveals. “I can’t lie. I loved being pregnant; I loved having my baby, but when it was the twiddling-of-the-thumbs moments, I was going out of my mind.”

— Nick Maslow with reporting by Shay Spence

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Pam on

What till he’s a toddler. You’ll be saying no a lot more.

RealityCheck on

This is a dumb article. Too many kids don’t hear the word no enough. Those kids end up in jail, on drugs or dead.

Guest on

Oh Gawd. He’s one of those free-range toddlers that’s going to grow up to be a full-blown brat. You’re not doing society any favors, Kelly.

Guest on

I think what she’s doing is actually a good thing. I’m sure that child, like any other, will hear “no” enough as he gets older. I work with developmentally disabled individuals and train them on job tasks after helping them find employment. We are taught to say “try doing it this way” rather than “no” when they do something the wrong way…. this actually helps to promote confidence rather than frustration/acting “out”. I’m sure the same could be beneficial for children. For anyone, actually.

jes on

I think a lot of people are missing the point, she’s not saying she lets him get away with everything, just that she tries to use a different approach than just saying no. And I think that’s a good thing. Not only is it incredibly discouraging for them to hear “no” all the time (and we want them to be excited to explore and learn new things) but they can also be desensitized to it and not take it seriously. I remember Marla Sokoloff saying in one of her blog posts that they decided on a few things that were immediate NO’s (whether because of safety reasons or whatnot) and for other things they tried to just redirect instead (like what Kelly was talking about). I think that’s a really good strategy to practice.

guest on

A lot of experts tell parents to not say NO all of the time and redirect. What she is doing is completely normal. You don’t have to yell NOOOOOOOOO all day long. Just redirect your child to do something else. Now, as your toddler/preschooler becomes older that’s a different thing…

Anonymous on

Stupid… She’ll be paying legal bills when he’s a teenager

VirgotheVirgin on

Ya, because him not hearing the word no is so preparing him for the real world.

Renee D on

Brat alert…She has to realize he will need to be able to deal with hearing “No”. I have relatives who cannot, and they are off the chart brats.

Kels on

At first I thought it was going to be an article about how she lets him do everything. I was a bit afraid. But she’s just choosing different words. It’s still no. Not a big deal at all.

Huh? on

It’s called parenting! Start giving him trophies for everything he does now so that when he goes into the real world, he can’t function when someone doesn’t constantly tell him what an awesome job he’s doing.

Anonymous on

Yes her son sounds like a smart kid and learning the language quickly. Kudos to her for teaching her son the right way.

Jen DC on

…Can any of you READ? Doe she say she never says the word “no”? She does not. She says she prefers redirection. Like, right here she literally says, “I’ll say no probably one time,…” Gosh, sounds like she says “no” often enough.

Let’s assume all of you are parents. How well does saying “no” to your toddler work? Does it work? No, IT DOES NOT WORK. What usually works when you want your toddler to stop doing something? TEASING HIM/HER WITH SOMETHING ELSE. Gee, are you all practicing redirection in your own homes? I guess YOU ARE ALL raising a bunch of brats who can’t hear no, who always need trophies and are special snowflakes. Get over yourselves, you unhappy c*nts.

Heather on

Oh goody, another entitled a$$hole in the making… gold star parenting right there!

megan on

It’s hilarious that she thinks it’s productive to tell him “no” only once, then give him a wishy washy “oh let’s do something else, please do another thing instead.” That’ll come to an end the day he does something dangerous, as all toddlers do at some point, and she has to tell “no no no, don’t you ever do that again!” And I think we’ve all dealt with kids whose parents thought “no” was a dirty word; those kids have meltdowns the first time they hear a firm, much needed “no”

dutchtea on

Part of parenting is …alas….saying no. They need to know what they can and cannot do. It’s only good common sense.

Anonymous on

Look at her son’s smiling, he is so cute!

Maria on

You have to say no sometimes in order to teach your kid what is right and what is wrong

Jan on

She seems a good mom and her son is so adorable.

Felice on

I applaud her efforts, but having been through the toddler stage, she will absolutely find herself saying “No” more often. Redirecting is great, but there are times and places where that will not work and the “No” must come out. It will not warp him and it will teach him boundaries.

Anonymous on

Yeah she will find herself say no a lot more when her son is little older.