Fredrik Eklund Reveals Miscarriage: ‘We’ve Had a Failed Pregnancy’

09/15/2015 at 04:55 PM ET

Fredrik Eklund‘s surrogate has suffered a miscarriage.

The Million Dollar Listing New York star — who was expecting a daughter via surrogate with his husband Derek Kaplantook to Facebook on Tuesday to reveal the devastating news.

“I’m sad to share we’ve had a failed pregnancy. I have cried so much that I can’t cry anymore. We were pregnant with twins but we’re not anymore,” Eklund, 38, writes.

“I chose to share this here, because I made this quest for Milla (and hopefully her sibling) public a long time ago.”

Fredrik Eklund
Courtesy Fredrik Eklund

Since announcing in April that they would be welcoming a baby girl, whom they had decided to name Milla, the couple have been showered with well wishes and piles of presents from friends, family and fans.

“Every day I meet people congratulating me and Derek on the baby news, I get baby clothes sent to the office by kind strangers, and it seems that more people are invested in our little family than I could ever imagine,” the author of The Sell writes.

“Our family is no different from yours … we just want to build our own unit of love in our own home.”

He continues, “The last couple of days I couldn’t take it anymore, to upkeep this perception of happiness and success when I’ve been a total sad mess inside. I’ve felt like a failure and that I’ll never get to where I want to go: for me and Derek to finally become parents. I’ve heard these stories so many times before, about couples who’ve tried so hard and for so long, but now I fully understand how difficult it can be.”

Eklund adds that he and Kaplan have been turning to each other for support.

“I try to zoom out and see the bigger picture. It’s hard most of the time. It gets a little better. It does. Derek is so kind, especially at night when I’ve been the saddest. We do have the dogs. We have our family and friends. They say it’s common in the first 10 weeks. Mini kisses my salty tears. And we will try again. We have to. I’m not giving up. We’re just not going to give up! We have to go on and simply try again,” he explains.

“Yet, I wonder … where is she now? Is she already out there somewhere, above? Is she waiting for us like she’s always been waiting, just a little longer? Can she see all of this, but just doesn’t have a worldly form yet to reach out, give me a sign and make me stronger?”

— Anya Leon

FILED UNDER: Fredrik Eklund , News

Share this story:

Your reaction:

Add A Comment

PEOPLE.com reserves the right to remove comments at their discretion.

Showing 48 comments

Dawn on

Very sad, I know they were looking forward to becoming parents

Cici on

My heart goes out to him. But I take pause with one of the things he said: that he knows what it’s like for couples who struggle to get pregnant/have babies. That’s not true; his surrogate/egg donor got pregnant with twins on the first try. He might have waited a long time, but he didn’t struggle. As someone who has gone 3.5 years trying to have a baby without a single positive pregnancy test, my heart goes out to him and Derek. They can afford to try again. And I hope the next time they have success! I couldn’t afford fertility treatment, and now that my husband just got a job with insurance that does cover it, I found out my eggs are bad and our chances of being parents are slimmer than ever. But enough about me … I wish him the best in coping with his loss. It’s got to be gut-wrenching.

Callie on

Which one has the uterus?

Becky on

Thank you God for taking this baby back home with you. The precious child is better off with you than with them.

joan on

becky, you have GOT to be joking. you are a sad person

Mary on

i can’t believe people would make us this sad occasion to make snarky ,hateful ,homophobic comments . Half of all babies in this country are unwanted and grow up without fathers ,and moms have multiple baby daddies ,an are on welfare feeding their kids soda through a straw ,but let’s pick on the gays once again. Nevermind ,that they are married ,have. Beautiful home or ten ,are millionaires ,hey I wish they’d adopt me . I grew up with two parents ,and my mom is neurotic as F ,I wish I’d had two gay dads .

Kim1 on

@Callie,I don’t have a uterus so I guess I don’t deserve to be a parent either

sally on

Why don’t they just adopt??? What, they can’t give a child who has been given up for adoption a home??? You would think, being gay- they would consider that option. The only reason they get to use one of their sperm and a donor egg/uterus is because of modern medicine! Otherwise they would not even have the opportunity.

Becky on

No, I’m not joking. The precious child is better with God than in a situation like that. You are sad to think otherwise. It is not homophobic. You are a truthophobic to not agree.

Becky on

Oh and don’t give me how “horrible” my comment is. Most of you are probably pro choice and don’t give a rats arse about those babies. You can’t have it both ways. I’m pro choice, but am heartbroken these gay guys lost “their” baby. Please.

Cici on

@Becky, that’s right: Gay people are subhuman. How dare they want to build their families by adding children? SMH. I hope you don’t have children of your own whose brains you’re filling with this backwards thinking.

maryhelenc on

Tragic. My heart breaks for them.

Barbara on

Devastated for Frederik and Derek – they will be awesome parents when it happens for them. For the rest of you bottom feeders and your rude, moronic comments – nobody cares about you or your ridiculousness – you are laughable specimens of pseudo-humanity.

Dee on

Becky, go away you vile and disgusting human being.

If heaven is filled with people like you, I will take a one way ticket to hell.

I hope no child has the misfortune of calling you mother!!!!

SarahJane77 on

My heart breaks for them. I know how much this meant, especially to Fredrik. I hope they will someday know the joy of parenthood.

Lynn and Michael on

Fredrick and Derek, We are such fans of yours on the show, so to hear your sad news is so disappointing for us! You mentioned that this event happens often to people, but it’s such a personal journey. We are looking ahead with you both! It will happen because your hearts are open and you will be wonderful parents!

Dee on

@Cici, I am sorry for your struggles.

I wish you and your hubby well and will pray that you will be fortunate enough to have a child to call your own to love and cherish always.

SarahJane77 on

@Dee, I’ll be there with you!!! I’ll be the tall one with glasses looking for the bar. Keep an eye out!

Becky on

As I said, most of you are hypocritical pro choicers who support a woman’s right to abort her child. You are the sad pathetic ones. This precious child is in the arms of God. That is a better place for the baby. Better than what millions of babies were given by abortion and torn to shreds. Not given a chance at life.

Get off your high horses and see that a miscarriage where the baby doesn’t end up in a home with a gay “couple” is better than the abortions most of you fight for the right for women to have. You are the ones who I hope are not parents.

A miscarriage is out of the woman’s control, an abortion is not.

Callie on

I have no idea who these people are nor do I care but two d*cks can’t make a baby. You have to have a hole to put the d*ck in and someplace for the sperm to go into! They can’t make a baby together!!!!!!! Just adopt

scoobe2 on

Becky, you are a b with a capital ITCH. hopefully your hateful behind never reproduces. you are a prime example of heteros who should never be allowed near children let alone parenting them filling impressionable minds with bigotry and hatred. there are plenty of hetero parents out there who are completely inept, just because this man is gay does not men he would be a bad father. get some education, you are beyond ignorant.

Anonymous on

I had a miscarriage when I was 10 weeks. I thought it was going to be a boy.. I’m still waiting for my rainbow baby 3 months later. 😦

Bee on

I’m almost in tears reading this story. I can tell how much it meant to them to become parents, and the loving home that was waiting for Milla. I know adoption isn’t the right choice for everyone, but they might consider taking in a child who is already here. They are a BEAUTIFUL couple, and my thoughts are with them.

Bee on

Also… Isn’t it interesting that those who profess faith in a religion of ‘peace’ can be so mean and hateful? I’m happy to be an atheist and gay, and I’m not afraid of burning in hell. 🙂

Erin on

I feel so sad for these two. They’ve wanted babies – Fredrik even moreso, it seems for so long and when it’s right, they’ll have them. Love to them. Nothing but love to Becky, as well, as it seems she needs it the most. Happy people aren’t cruel.

Kay on

@Becky: You say you are pro-life, but then say their babies are better off dead than with them. You can’t have it both ways. Really sad that you feel the need to pour salt in their wound, and I bet you think you’re the only moral one here. Wow.

Cici on

@Dee, that’s sweet of you. Thank you!

Jen on

I’m confused about the twin comment. Why is there only mention of the baby Mila when there were twins?

Jen on

LMAO @ the comments saying the babies would be better off dead than with two loving, committed gay men. Are you for real? You know how many kids would kill for TWO loving parents regardless of their sexual orientation? So many kids grow up in broken homes or single parent homes and having not one but two parents that show them love and appreciation is a blessing.

I grew up in a home with an abusive father who divorced my mom when I was 10. I then had an abusive step-father and turned to drugs to comfort myself as a teen. Thankfully, I got out of that mess but I wish my childhood had had two parents who loved me and treated me with kindness instead of name calling, beatings and neglect.

Jen on

@Cici, I’m so sorry for your struggles. It is devastating to want a baby and not be able to have one.

This makes me sad for this family. I hope they are able to complete their family, anyway they are able, either through surrogacy or adoption.

Guest on

For people stating they are pro choice, do you realize that means pro death? How anyone can think killing an innocent baby is a mothers choice is beyond me. I’ve lost two & it was devastating. I find it odd how when it was a miscarriage, I got sympathy yet if I had chosen to purposely abort, no one would care. We treat it as if they aren’t really a human we’re killing. Wake up people!

Anonymous on

I am so sad for them and their loss. I hope over time they can heal and eventually have the family they so desperately want.

I am beyond disgusted with the comments here and repulsed that People allows them on this site. That is the reason why after having People Magazine for 10 years I cancelled. I could no longer pay for a magazine that would allow such hateful and nasty comments,

Kestrel on

Becky, YOU are better off with your God than you are here. You’re nothing but a homophobic bigot filled with hatred and a false sense of superiority. The human race will be so much better off without the likes of you. Of course, as an atheist, I think you’re destined to be worm juice but that’s about all you deserve, right?

Guest on

I feel terrible for them, but I am confused. They announced in April…they should have been about 28-30 weeks, that is not a miscarriage. That is either a still birth or the baby died. They mention twins and 10 weeks. Was this a different pregnancy? Did they have 2 losses? Anyways, those are just questions.

As a mom who found out in April that I am having my 2nd, my heart breaks for this couple. I look forward to feeling my baby kick and move and can’t wait to meet him. I couldn’t imagine the heart break. I am a religious person, and will say a prayer for them and their little angels.

Oh, and @ Becky, I believe in the sanctity of all lives – your comments a repugnant, so stop spewing your self righteous hatred under the guise of religion.

Anonymous on

Guest- It was PEOPLE that used the term “miscarriage” not him. In his instagram post it just says “failed pregnancy”. He never stated what kind of pregnancy loss it was. That being said, my guess is that they lost one of the babies very early on (in the first ten weeks) and then the other (“Milla”) later on.

Anyway, I hope they have their-much desired baby soon!

Guest on

@ Anonymous, that seems like a good guess. That makes sense, was just wondering if anyone knew what happened – was not criticizing them at all (hope it didn’t read that way). It is just terrifying to hear of some one losing the baby that far along. I agree also – hope they are blessed with a child or children soon.

Becka on

Guys I am so sorry for your loss. Never give up hope and keep trying. You guys deserve this happiness in your life.

Anonymous on

In only mention the name Mila, however they talk about twins, its confusing.

SomewhereOutThere on

so sorry for their loss. The last sentences really tugged at my heartstrings.

John on

how, please someone, please tell how these two human beings could not spare a comment, not ONE, for the dear woman who was carrying the children? I don’t understand.

Amy on

So sad to hear!

I’m sure the gay haters are the most upstanding parents as well. F*ck off. For serious. And to the classy bitch that made the comment about too many dicks and how one needs to go in a hole- what do you say to couples who choose to go the route of artificial insemination if they can’t conceive naturally? Or is that ok because it’s still a man and a woman? Seriously- grow the fuck up.

Anonymous on

John- He said “We’ve had a failed pregnancy”. I’m guessing he was include the surrogate as part of the “we”. Most likely he didn’t say anything more than that out of respect for her privacy.

Anonymous on

There are many orphans in this world, guys you have choices to adopt.

MomOf3kids on

@Callie – ” I have no idea who these people are nor do I care but two d*cks can’t make a baby. You have to have a hole to put the d*ck in and someplace for the sperm to go into! They can’t make a baby together!!!!!!! Just adopt”

That’s right they can’t make a baby together which also means they can’t make an unwanted baby. I’d rather see a gay couple who really want a child raising one rather than all these people who can’t keep their legs closed having kids they really don’t want in the first place and not giving them the love and care they deserve.

Vol on

They’re going to have kids one day! Not to be discouraged.

thecandycloset on

@Becky your ugliness is proof that there is no “God.”

Aimee on

I feel for them and my thoughts and prayers go to them. I as a woman am slightly offended by the “we were pregnant” comments. Last time I checked neither of you have a uterus and you could at least voice a little sympathy for the WOMAN that was carrying the babies and her hormones her health. Im sure they’ll be successful again.

Lourdes Roman on

This breaks my heart… It is not easy when all you want is a baby and the difficult part of having to go through surrogacy, then lose the angel that was coming to you. Devastating. All I can say is do not give up. You are not alone. It will happen. Take it from someone who knows. Many blessings to you both!