Why David Burtka Thinks Daughter Harper Is Biologically His Child

05/07/2015 at 08:45 PM ET

Now that David Burtka‘s children with Neil Patrick Harris are getting older, he has a pretty good idea which of the fraternal twins is biologically his.

The actor stopped by The Wendy Williams Show on Thursday and revealed that the answer is all in their personalities.

Burtka, 39, thinks that Harper Grace might be biologically his because, as he put it, “She’s like, ‘Hey everybody, I’m here!’ ”

Meanwhile, Gideon Scott is likely Harris’, says Burtka, because “He’s a little more heady and intellectual.”

Neil Patrick Harris David Burtka
Courtesy Neil Patrick Harris


The twins, now 4 years old, were born via surrogate.

“It’s a lot harder for gay guys [to have kids], although we tried!” Burtka joked to Wendy Williams, going on to explain that there were “two different women involved. There was an egg donor, a wonderful woman who was anonymous. We took two of our best guys and implanted them into her eggs, two different eggs.”

And then, of course, there was the surrogate who carried the babies to term, giving birth to Gideon and Harper in October 2010.

Their personalities are not only distinct from each other’s, but probably from most preschoolers, as well. Burtka recently told The New Potato that his kids have “incredible palates.”

“Gideon eats everything you put in front of him,” said Burtka. “His passion for cooking and eating good food is in his soul,” adding that his son loves “clams, sushi, octopus, grilled pork, steak, parmigiana cheese, ginger, mint, cinnamon and coconut.”

As for Harper, Burtka says she likes “briny flavors” and particularly enjoys “oysters, sardines, prosciutto, capers, duck liver, miso, and anything chocolate.”

— Amanda Michelle Steiner

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Showing 41 comments

guest on

This is awesome! I didn’t know this about their kids I thought it was just one of the guys’, I think thats the coolest thing for gay couples. Kids are awesome!

mypiecesandbits on

I love them. They have such a sweet family and always seem genuinely happy. Its so clearly obvious just how much they love their children.

Anonymous on

What an adorable family! 🙂

Jr on

They both take after Burtka. I don’t know how anyone could not see that.

Jay on

@Jr, since they used Harris’ sperm to create one of the embryos, it would be impossible for both of the children to be biologically Burtka’s.

Lyds on

They must look a lot like the egg donor because they both look so much like each other yet I can see Harris AND Burtka in BOTH of them! It’s crazy! I know it doesn’t matter but I’m dying to know which one is biologically Burtka’s and which is Neil’s!

Very cute kids and super lucky to have fun dads like the two of them! 🙂

Lc on

So each is the biological father of one child?

Heather on

Awesome family!!! They’re great parents and wonderful kids

Kestrel on

They have a wonderful love story and it’s awesome that they get to be family and not just a couple. That marriage license really does make a difference! Those kids are always happy, impeccably dressed and not in the jeans and old rock star shirt way. Such a great little family.

KL on

OMG such cute kids!!!!!

Diana Sanchez on

Cute kids 🙂 and cute family as well!

maryhelenc on

This family is so precious. I love them.

Truthfinder on

Not a lover of him, a little much, but I do enjoy Neil. Just sayin…

Andrea on

Duh, I could have told you that when they were babies. When they were super young it was obvious Gideon is Neil’s and Harper is David’s. As they grow older, they have started looking more alike but it’s still obvious (via a few facial traits) which child belongs to which father. Either way, they’re both stinkin’ cute and have a wonderful loving family.

Kelly (fake name) on

It’s quite clear to me that Harper (the daughter) isn’t as important as Gideon (the son) to Neil Patrick Harris & David Burtka.

She’s barely mentioned. It seems like she’s second-best to her parents.

I think favouritism is often inevitable, but still annoying.

Charli on

I think she has his eyes. It’s funny because even though it’s impossible the kids looks like both of them. Beautiful family.

Anonymous on

I’d rather have them as parents than Kim and Kanye. Just saying.

Erin on

IMO The smiles on the children’s faces makes it look like she’s Neil’s and the brother is David’s. Really shouldn’t matter – they are a family, they don’t belong to any one.

Jo55 on

I am impressed. For 4 year olds to eat that way is pretty incredible.

Jt on

And the daughter looks just like him while the son looks just like NPH…they are the cutest family. I have 4 y.o. twins & can’t imagine the temper tantrum that would occur if I gave them oysters to eat. Lol

Marky on

Fake Kelly, you are full of it! They have doted on both those children since they were born. Harper has always looked adorable, and they love to quote her, just as they do Gideon. No favoritism there at all…why is there always someone wanting to stir up trouble where there is none? Very cute children, and seem to be really sweet and much loved!

K.B. on

I wouldn’t doubt it…. She has the same exact smile! Look at her. I love them. What an adorable, wonderful, happy family. They make me smile.

Yep on

LOL Many are commenting on how much the kids look alike. Of course they do, they’re biologically half-siblings (same mom) and their individual fathers have very similar features: light hair, light eyes, thin lips, White, etc.

Emma on

One thing is for sure: there are no unwanted kids in the gay community. Two people of the same sex can never get pregnant accidentally. A lot of things and love goes in to bringing their kids into the world.

Guest on

Love your family! I think you two have done an amazing job being parents. I do think Gideon looks more like David and Harper looks like NPH. I believe your children will grow up to be amazing adults.

yahoo on

The men did use their sperm to have the children so of course they will have some similarities. This isn’t hard to understand people.

sptrupy on

@yahoo: you misunderstood, people see Neil’s AND David’s features in both of the twins and that IS impossible 😀

But Harper has always been like a little David clone to me (Gideon and NPH is less obvious), so i’m not surprised 🙂

mommytoane on

I don’t think personality is in anyway related to biology. My aunt adopted two boys. One was exactally like his dad..driven, smart, and quiet. The other like his mom happy, spontanious, carefee. Neither parent was biologically related. Personality is learned not passed down.

Mj on

I’m going to be the only one but I think Harper looks way more like Neil than David! I think they must both favor the bio-mom though since they look so much alike. I would totally never guess they were only half siblings. So crazy how that works out!

Love this family!

NV on

Such an adorable family!

Bee on

I had a feeling this was the case. Harper has David’s smile, and Gideon looks just like NPH! Love them.

Anonymous on

They looks so happy! Good for them.

Judy on

So, does anyone even consider for a second that in order for these two to have children, the mother had to be cut out of the picture? Aunts, grandmothers, or female friends cannot replace the bond that these children will spend their lives seeking. And should they ever dare to mention it, the LGBT community will tell them to shut up and be grateful.

lulumaebarnes on

I think Burtka is right. Harper looks just like him in the eyes and nose!

Gus on

Gideon sure looks like NPH.

Anonymous on

I think Gideon looks exactly like David.

sgtmian on

@mommytoane i disagree. if you look at identical twins who have spent a large chunk of their lives apart, their interests may be different, but their personalities are very, very similar. biology definitely plays a part.

😕 on

“It’s a lot harder for gay guys [to have kids], although we tried!” That isn’t funny. It’s disgusting, crude, and selfish. Call me whatever you want, this whole thing… the “marriage,” the “family,” the “jokes”… is twisted.

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Anonymous on

Do you know why your children like all this complicated food BC the food you feed them is fancy AF…when I was that young I was satisfied with fish sticks. I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT HALF THAT FOOD IS!!!!!