Eva Amurri Martino: ‘Mom Shaming Drives Me Crazy’

05/05/2015 at 06:30 PM ET

As a new mother, Eva Amurri Martino thought a baby nurse could help her get in a groove.

But it turns out, the first-time mom just needed to follow her own instincts.

“I find that a lot of people have a lot of advice. You have to do what works for you, whether that’s co-sleeping or getting on a schedule, it has to work for your family,” the actress, 30, tells Cricket’s Circle.

“Our baby nurse got us on a schedule that was stressing me out, so we got rid of it.”

That attitude has been Amurri Martino’s mantra along the way: Finding what works best for her family. And the mother of daughter Marlowe Mae, 8 months, hopes others will share in her sentiments.

“Mom shaming drives me crazy,” she says. “Why does every mom need other moms to do things their way? New motherhood is such a vulnerable and powerful time, but it’s also really hard. Do not judge other moms on how they raise their children.”

Eva Amurri Martino
Courtesy Eva Amurri Martino

But it’s not all about baby. As she learns the ropes of parenthood, Amurri Martino and husband Kyle Martino have realized the importance of keeping their relationship high on the list of priorities.

“It’s so hard to find time for yourself, for your relationship, and as a family. We fell into the trap of handing off the baby, so we could each get things done, but we weren’t spending time all together,” she explains.

“A baby is such a huge change for everyone, so acknowledge that. It’s hard and you don’t have to be great at everything right away.”

For the new mama, it was the first few months of motherhood that tested her limits. After spending time home with her then newborn baby girl — who had reflux and was “screaming her brains out” all day — Amurri Martino knew she needed a break.

“Being real about that was so freeing,” she shares. “You have to get out of the house, go to the gym, and respect that you’ve been through a lot. It’s okay to have a lot of feelings that aren’t all positive.”

And even when their lives get hectic, the couple know they can always reconnect during their weekly Wednesday date night.

“We see a movie, try a new wine bar, go for dinner, go for a walk,” Amurri Martino says. “Whatever it is, we get dressed up and get our groove back a little.”

For more of Eva Amurri Martino’s interview, visit Cricket’s Circle.com, the shoppable short answer for baby and toddler.

— Anya Leon

Share this story:

Your reaction:

Add A Comment

PEOPLE.com reserves the right to remove comments at their discretion.

Showing 20 comments

Sara K on

I agree with her completely. Well-said. And what a gorgeous baby! Neither of my girls had that much hair until they were over the age of 1! 😀

Megan on

Such a cute little girl!!

Leah on

Her daughter is absolutely adorable! Look at that smile,OMG! And I agree with her completely and I don’t have children, but I think that’s good advice.

Just a Duck on

Nice ring. My whole purpose for clicking on the article was to get a better look!

Mandy on

She gets prettier as she ages. Her daughter is a little cutie. I give advice, but I always say that it’s what works with my little one & it might not with others. As long as tour child is happy, healthy, & you spend time with them, you are doing a good job.

Guest on

It’s really a good advice!

Mrs_EDavis on

I so agree.
There are a million ways to do raise your children. Advice is one thing… judgment is another. Thanks for saying it all publicly.
It really is ENOUGH already.
Beautiful pics.
EHD

Ndjpbp on

I totally agree. Whenever I’m at a baby shower lately, almost always, the hosts ask the guests to offer advice to the mom-to-be. I always say the same thing- do what works for you because what any of us have done may not work for you and that’s okay.

KL on

Um the picture is very cute.

Guessed on

That’s a happy baby. Mom is obviously doing something right. The babies that I have seen who were smothered with love, joy, and kisses all grew up to be intelligent, well-adjusted, and happy adults. This little dumpling looks like she’s on the right track.

guesty on

This is the first time I’ve heard a celebrity give real baby advice. I’m so with her and love this article. She has a new fan in me! So many of the people “Baby” bloggers say such ridiculous crap that I often find myself rolling my eyes as I read it. Bravo to Eva for keeping it real!

dd on

cute pics

Brenda on

What a gorgeous mother and baby!!

Anonymous on

LOVE this! I also love the first photo in this post. She looks SO much better when she doesn’t cake on the make-up! 🙂

Jennifer on

I have said, I have never felt more criticized in my life until I became a mother. It comes from strangers, friends, and family members. The constant comparing my child to others. Each child does their own thing, in their own time.

KEM on

Thank you so much for this article. I think there are many out there who need to read this. 😉

Grandma on

Wow! I always thought she was so pretentious but this was the most real celebrity interview I’ve ever read. Loved this!

Molly on

Nice to know she is doing very well and seem to have a great family.

lovely123 on

Whine, whine, whine…For a woman that has one kid a few months old she sure has a lot of advice.

Zol on

These are good advices for new moms.