Jaime King: Judging Mothers ‘Is Really Harmful’

01/27/2015 at 11:00 AM ET

Jaime King mothers judging The New Potato

Jaime King is confident that mother knows best.

The Hart of Dixie star, who welcomed her first child, son James Knight, in 2013, tells The New Potato that motherhood is full of difficult decisions. But those tough choices are only intensified when outsiders step in to question another person’s parenting process.

“There is so much mommy judging and so many rules and regulations. ‘You have to breastfeed‘ or ‘If you formula feed, you’re bad,’ ” she says. “There are so many labels now of what you should or shouldn’t do and I think that is really harmful to mothers.”

Noting that life before a baby is “hard enough,” the actress believes women should realize they’re all facing the same struggles. “Birthing a child and caring for a child is already difficult in itself,” King, 35, explains.

“Women think that what they’re going through on the inside isn’t supposed to exist anymore, but that’s just not true. We’re just women, doing the best that we can with what we know and what we have.”

As for King’s key to success? She says it’s all about surrounding herself with a strong support system.

“It doesn’t have to be other mothers,” she explains. “Don’t judge yourself if you aren’t taking your kid to a baby class every day and don’t judge yourself if you have a bunch of best friends who aren’t parents. Just find people that love and support you so that you can support yourself and your child.”

But the first-time mom admits there’s one trend in parenthood that she’ll never stand behind: turning to the web for validation.

“For God’s sake, don’t go on chats on the Internet and compare your parenting skills to someone else,” she explains. “Our lives are all so different from each other and all that matters is that you’re loving and caring for your child.”

— Anya Leon

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FILED UNDER: Jaime King , News , Parenting

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mer on

It’s really sad that women / mothers aren’t more supportive of each other. And even instead of ignoring different choices they judge and are offensive. Unless it’s really dangerous or proven to be harmful to the baby, each parent should decide on their own without being judged.

Tonja on

Support is key. If you need advice, don’t be afraid to ask for it!

Morgan on

I have to agree that women in general are just plain mean to each other, especially mothers. No one is perfect and as parents, we make mistakes and learn from them. I’m fortunate that I have not been judged, the community I live in are very supportive of each other. We ask and give advice to others. Some need to stop becoming offensive with someone who doesn’t do the same things another one does, unless the child is being neglected or in danger. Be supportive and positive.

Liah on

As a new mom I was so thankful to meet other supportive mothers. Motherhood is such a huge transition that support, understanding and empathy from those around you make all the difference in the world.

FelicityJune on

She seems to have some issues. Having children and being a mother is something very natural. The woman is 35 for God’s sake. If she is so insecure that she is afraid of the judgement of other mothers, than she should not have had a kid in the first place. Just do your thing Jamie and stop defending it. And the internet can be a great thing to get advice or to google something when you have a question. Why not!! Get over your insecurities!!!

Tetta on

She should be thinking about why she’s in her thirties and spends her time hanging out with 19 year old Lorde, 25 year old Taylor Swift, and 22 year old Karlie Kloss.

Anonymous on

FelicityJune- I don’t think she’s afraid. Nor is she defending anything. If you read the full interview over at NewPotato, you’ll see that she was simply answering the question: “What’s your number one piece of advice to new moms?”

And she never said the Internet isn’t a good source for advice (although you DO need to tread carefully- some sites are more reliable than others, to put it mildly!). She said that you shouldn’t go on Internet chats (or message boards) and compare your kid to others.

Anyway, I couldn’t agree with her more!

Anonymous on

mer- Exactly! I think it’s especially sad when celeb parents get judged on sites like this. We see maybe ten percent of their lives, and photos can be incredibly mis-leading!

Anonymous on

Motherhood is difficult mostly when it you make it your fourth priority.

Paige on

Having good advice from other mothers is the key.

Marie on

She’s right, those Breastapo women are so rude to mothers that choose or or have to formula feed. They’re bullies.

Kristina on

Amen sister! Too much judging in this world today.

TastyBooty on

She’s emaciated.

Marie on

Is talking about being a parent the ONLY thing she’s good at? Because every time I see her mentioned in an article, it only has to do with something about being a parent.

Anonymous on

mare- The fact that you’re read them on a site devoted to celebrity children might have something to do with that. 😉

Hea on

Tetta – Why? I have always had friends who have differed in age from me. Ageism is so uncool.