Ashton Kutcher: Why We Don’t Have a Nanny

12/12/2014 at 08:00 AM ET

Life will never be the same.

Two months into the experience of being a father, Ashton Kutcher says it’s been completely transformative for him and fiancée Mila Kunis.

“It’s just how much you can love another person,” the actor, 36, tells Ellen DeGeneres on her talk show Friday about what has surprised him most about fatherhood.

“You think you know how much you can love another person, and then you have a child and you realize you didn’t know. It’s infinitely rewarding.”

He adds: “There’s a great quote by Carlos Slim, and he said, ‘Most people think they need to make a better world for their children, but the reality is we need to make better children for our world.’ And I try to live by that. And I think I really look at this as the greatest opportunity of my life.”

Ashton Kutcher Ellen DeGeneresMichael Rozman/Warner Bros

Kutcher and Kunis’s daughter Wyatt Isabelle is now 10-weeks-old. And the new parents are being totally hands on — they’re not even using a nanny. Mostly, Kutcher credits Kunis, 31, who’s home with the baby every day.

“She’s the greatest mom,” the Two and a Half Men star says. “I go to work every day, and I come home and she’s perfect. And it just seems like everything went amazing. And I know that something probably didn’t go amazing, but she never tells … it’s unbelievable. She’s incredible.”

The couple didn’t want to use nannies — at least, not at first — because they want a deep connection with their daughter.

“We just want to know our kid,” says Kutcher. “We want to be the people that know what to do when the baby’s crying to make the baby not cry anymore. We want to know, like, when she makes a little face or something, we want to be emotionally in touch with her. And I think the only way to do that is by being the one who’s there.”

Ashton also jokes that he was “ready to do all these things” with his daughter after she was born, only to realize that, well, she’s an infant and can’t do much yet — though she did recently find herself in the mirror, which he says was amusing.

“It’s like getting a new cell phone where all the features don’t work yet,” he says with a smile. “It’s like a phone that won’t take pictures, and you’re like, ‘Why won’t my phone take pictures?’ And it won’t make calls and it doesn’t do a lot, but it looks really cute.”

— Tim Nudd

RELATED GALLERY: They’re in the Club! 2014’s Newest Celebrity Parents

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Showing 64 comments

dita on

Yeah, that is sweet, but oh sure you will get a nanny! We all start with the best intentions, but somehow loose some on the way.

Shalla on

So happy he and Demi divorced so he HAS this opportunity to be a father to Wyatt and have a deeper connection with Mila. No matter how anyone feels about Ashton, he’s grown into a wonderful man, a great father. Congrats to him for not jumping on the celeb nanny train.

Barbara on

It makes not difference to his life whether they have a nanny or not, since he’s away at work all day. His wife has to unnecessarily go without a nanny so he can brag about it.

dita on

@Shalla! Seriously? That is what makes you happy?

Dawn on

What a cool quote. May have to use that one! Making better kids for the world.

Jessica on

ha ha my husband was the same. He would say the baby doesn’t do anything! Wait until she is two! It gets better and your love gets even stronger! Congrats to Mila and Ashton!

Judy on

Well, having a child has really matured him and changed his outlook on life.

Mollie on

They may not have. A nanny but they have a maid, cook, etc…so it’s not like she’s doing real SAHM work. Also, the fact that he think it’s good that mila doesn’t tell him about the difficulties is a bad thing. She should be able to share all of it with him.

cindyann on

HAHAHAH to all the jerks who made comments about them having a Nanny! HA! This is the best,. I love it when nasty people on here get schooled, these guys are just grounded, loving people. Quit talking about Demi too, it’s old and not relevant and Dita, they are going through the most tiring part of parenting and so what if they do get a nanny one day, we all would love to have had one at some point. Haters gonna hate..

paisley on

Are we actually supposed to believe this?

Anonymous on

Good for him, good for her. Sounds like a proud dad.

Leah on

Mollie – it sounds like she chooses not to tell him the hard things, not that she can’t.
For me, the really hard stuff didn’t come until later anyway. The only hard thing at the beginning was a lack of sleep. But if she is a SAHM, she doesn’t have to worry about working on minimal sleep, and they might have cooks/cleaners to help with house hold stuff.
She is probably just enjoying the first few months, and if the baby fusses, burps up, etc – she doesn’t feel the need to talk it through with Ashton.

lindsey on

Every mom should be a full time mom for at least the first six months. Bond with your baby and then go back to work if you have a job. Why waste talent and education?

Kimber on

Love Ashton. His family lived, and he grew up, just up the road from me. He’s truly a sweet guy. Just an Iowa farm boy at heart. I wish him and his family all the best….and can’t wait for them to come back to Iowa for a visit. Bet he could use that stroller around here and wouldn’t be bothered. 😉

B on

WHO CARES of Mila isn’t s typical stay at home mom..she’s still at home with her baby every day and taking care of an infant!! Just because she has a ton of money doesn’t mean she’s any less of a good mom who can get stressed, upset, etc. hate when people make comments about how “oh she’s not a REAL SAHM, just because they’re millionaires!”

valeskas on

You can feel, how happy he is about his daughter. Mila and him make a cute couple.

Wyse on

Why the bashing because he said they don’t have a nanny now? It sounds like they want to know their daughter even with all of their resources. People bash them when they have a nanny then bash them when they don’t. Give them break. Just because they have money doesn’t mean they have to be evil people.

Jane on

Have been amazed by how This couple is handling their new role as parents, and A K’s musings have just melted my ♥ on top of it. How Blessed their beautiful little daughter is and no doubt will continue to be! Her parents certainly seem to have the integrity & family values sorely lacking in many ‘celebrity’ families. Kudos!!!!

Guest on

Mollie, seriously. Shut up.


I mean I think it’s great that they aren’t using a Nanny but it’s really nothing to brag about. Millions of regular people every day raise their own kids without the help of paid strangers. They both make a crap ton of money so it’s not like either one of them have to get up and go to work every day to make ends meet. They can choose to stay home and spend the time raising her. Not a lot of people can do that. This may be rare for Hollywood, but it’s not for the rest of the normal society.

julie on

Its so great to hear famous people get right down to the real deal when it comes to having kids…….it’s a great experience to have your own children…..and every baby is a blessing so I believe everyone deserves that experience…..Kudo’s to Ashton and Mila for doing it the right way……bonding with your baby from the very beginning just makes you realize how important it is to be the hands on parents that every child deserves……another beautiful family……Congratulations

Katie on

Seriously, why would they need a nanny. It’s not like she works outside the home or anything. These people could literally never work again, have plenty of money for themselves, their child and their child’s children, and never been heard from again. Just fade away! But nope that ego gets in the way and they can’t fade away.

Meena on

Let me get this straight-a person has to have little money, exhaust themselves by doing everything themselves before they can be a “real” SAHM”? Ok, got the memo. Some women are really bitter about their lot in life, like any of you wouldn’t have household help if you could afford it.

Caitie on

“mila can’t compare herself to a real woman”

WOW. I don’t know why I’m still so surprised that the most misogynistic things come from the mouths of other women. She IS a real woman. Her experiences are just as valid as yours. Claiming she’s not a real woman because she might have help is revolting.

Kate on

My hubby went back to work before I returned and honestly he was lucky he got a report, I was so sleep deprived by the time he came home I forgot what the heck I even did that day. We just did the hand-off and he let me go back to sleep and he make dinner and wake me up a few hours later to eat, chill and put the baby to bed.

Marine on

Some of you negative nancy’s need to back away from your computers and go take a nap you sound so bitter….not a real SAHM??? give me a break. if they want to hire a nanny go for it if not all up to them. Its hard enough being a new parent without others constantly bashing you for what you are and are not doing. Its also called family is their to help them out, my sister might not have had a nanny but she had me my mom and her inlaws there for her whenever she needed to go run an errand. Does that make her less of a SAHM???

CS on

Oh she will tire of it very soon! Let us not glorify motherhood. It is hard.

Robin on

I’m pretty sure eventually they will get a nanny to help out with work schedules, but for now with their baby being so young, I admire that they want to be “normal parents” and get that emotional bond with their baby girl! I also admire Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner. If Ashton and Mila copy Ben and Jennifer’s parenting style, they cannot fail. The children are lucky to be kids of stars who care enough to not shuffle them off to the first babysitter. Secondly, I LOVE LOVE LOVE the quote “Most people think they need to make a better world for their children, but the reality is we need to make better children for our world.” However I think it’s a little of both. You want a safe environment to raise your kids in and in today’s world safety is questionable!

Samantha on

These two are a perfect match! When you’ve know each other for years and years, worked together for that length of time, common sense rules. A truly great feeling when living and loving your soul mate ….. forever. Then, there’s the precious baby too!!! Ellen: why brown for a little girl bebe? Not good. S/b something much, much more colorful ….. RED!!!

lena on

Wise, I agree, people always find reason to critic, I think they all are wonderful people who experience something wonderful for the first time and want to enjoy and share, I was the same, I had 3 kids and no nanny and worked full time, my mom and MIL helped us but at least I know I share those moments with grandparents not some another unknown woman who only here to get a job done for money, so I also tried to avoid unralated people and invite relatives to help…. but on weekends they were gone because they helped during a week so it was a challange but i am glad I had relatives helped me and noone else, I am sure their relatives help them too.

Becca on

They are gonna be great parents all the way.

Anonymous on

Good for him!

Michelle on

Clearly by reading some of these comments the quote should apply not to just children but people in general. We need to BE better people, and stop trying to make something bad out of every little thing a person says of a snippet of their life. Kim K is bashed to all hell for having a nanny and now they are being crucified for not wanting one right now.

Nichole on

Why are people under this comment section so mad, though? I think it is wonderful that Ashton, and Mila are hands-on parents. At least they have interest in being a mother/father to their child, and making that important bond. Unlike people like Kim K, and Kanye West who clearly has no bond whatsoever with their daughter, and is being raised by nannies.

Marky on

I loved what he said about Carlos Sim’s quote: “Most people think we have to make a better world for our children, but the reality is, we need to make better children for our world.” Excellent idea and really spot on, Ashton. Teach your children values and coping skills to respect others and the world around them.

FelicityJune on

Oh dear, these celebs. Human beings have been born since the beginning of time. They make such a fuzz about everything. Really, Mila can handle the baby all by herself for a whole day?? Wow, I am sure she is a fabulous mother (eye-roll) All this yada-yada about being a great dad etc, just wait until your 10 week old baby turns into a difficult teenager. Let’s see what a great father/mother you are then!! And the baby is only 10 weeks old and he feels the need to explain why they are not having a nanny? OMG it is normal to take care of your child, when you are at home and don’t work. These people don’t work on a regular basis, like the average Joe. Please Ashton, stop making being a parent into such a miracle. It is the most normal thing on the planet!!

curlyk on

They are adorable together and I wish their family the best in the years to come. She has said she would totally give up acting to be home, and why not? Annette Bening did that, as well as Kate Capshaw. Life is more than being a fake character in a movie or TV show. Good for them. Everyone knows that babies and kids grow up so fast- it’s true. They both come from very traditional homes, and they are lucky she can stay home if she wishes.

Glad His Smutty Show Is Ending on

Now Ashton, start making decent TV shows and films so you daughter can grow up some day and be proud of her dad.

Lexie on

Oh, he’s sooo cute! I love how natural he seems. So glad he got away from Demi, who I think was just pulling him down with her own insecurities and jealously. He and Mila seem like a great couple, and I love how enchanted he is with their new baby.

Suzi on

Good for them!

Emily on

It AMAZES me how negative people are. This is a really nice article and people ALWAYS have a way of posting something negative. That’s really sad. Does he have more money then most of us? Sure! Why is it necessary to lash into him just because he’s rich. Most celebrities have someone helping and the fact that they want to be hands on and know their own child is refreshing and applaudable. As for everyone else who feels the need to take the positive comments and make a negative one back….how about you just don’t! Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas!

VG on

Good for them not using nanny though they have plenty money to afford a nanny.

Hea on

All of you saying that they’ll eventually hire a nanny… Are you yourselves unable to care for your own child?

Casey on

@Barbara, how do you know it wasn’t a joint decision LIKE HE STATED. *rme*

Krista on

Some of you people need to get a grip. Picking apart every single word he says, good grief! I think it’s cool they know the importance of bonding & know a nanny hinders that. I think it’s great Mila gets to stay home while he works. How about being happy for them instead of finding fault in something innocent? Man this world is full of miserable people.

MrMonkee on

So I guess if you have used a baby sitter, had your parents watch your kids, had your husbands parents watch your kids had other family members watch your kids or any of the above help you out that means you are not a SAHM?

Just Me on

I love his quote “that we need to make better children for our world”. So true, todays kids expect so much and generally are unappreciative. We are living in a world where materialism is very thick and heavy and we genuinely forget about “what is important” in life, such as respect for others, parents and most importantly ourselves. Getting back to the basics would be such a wonderful breath of air!

Callie on

Loving him so much more now that he is divorced from psycho woman! He and Mila make an adorable couple and I can’t wait to see a picture of their daughter. Happy Trails to them on their life journey.

Elara on

If I was a celebrity and had kids, I wouldn’t do any interviews about my kid or my parenting choices. No matter what they say about their kids, or how they say it, celebs get torn apart for it. Nannies, no nannies, cloth diapers or disposable, breastfed or bottle fed, home birth, hospital birth, natural or c-section, co-sleeping or not…So long as the child is well taken care of, happy and thriving, it doesn’t really matter, and it sure isn’t anyone’s business.

Lori on

So much anger and jealousy! Shame on you! They sound like a sweet couple and good parents to me.

Marie on

Also another good reason not to get a nanny, you don’t want to end up doing what Arnold Sw. did.

mamaoftwins on

It’s so great that Ellen gave Ashton a new stroller! I’m sure he couldn’t afford one of his own. Also, I’m sure that Mila is at home cleaning the unending piles of diapers, cooking nutritious meals, and cleaning their mansion. How relate-able. Wow! They’re just like me.

guest on

I’m totally amazed at what he said and I agree. I didn’t have help with my son , my husband worked crazy hrs and today I have a great connection with him. I understand people who need daycare , help etc but these 2 are wealthy people who decided they want that connection with their child. Also that quote is totally true! Back in the olden days they didn’t have much yet kids were raised better and we didn’t hear of as many problems as we do today. Today we think we’re giving our kids a lot by sometimes working more hrs to give the material things when really we’re giving them the best of one thing and they grow up with not a good foundation. Good to ashton and Mila for being old school!

Guest on

He seems like a genuinely nice guy! New, first time parents are this way! I don’t blame him or his fiancee for wanting to be hands on parents. I didn’t pay much attention to him until I heard him speak to a group of kids about being responsible and working hard. I was really impressed with him. I think Demi was too old for him anyway and am glad that he found happiness with someone else. He and his fiancee are great parents. Babies are adorable. It is cute to what them discover new things. Hates off to him and his fiancee.

AbbyDogg on

He sounds like such an idiot. Good luck Mila–now you have two children to take c are of.

Mel on

The negativity is astounding. I had 4 kids in under 5 years and I was a SAHM while my husband worked. I cooked cleaned, bathed, put them to bed and everything else that comes with being a SAHM. Despite all this I would never think to put down their parenting. I’m not better than them or more of a woman than Mila. We are both women who loves our children and wants what is best for them.

I never had a nanny but I would have taken advantage of one if I could. Oh well, no sour grapes from me.

Anonymous on

ahhhhhhhhhhhhh he’s sooooo happy now. & that’s me vomit.

Kelsey on

“I need one of those for me!”

Patricia on

A little mean, considering he took on the role of father to Demi’s three girls. When will people stop perpetuating the LIE that a child has to be biological to receive that same kind of love beyond measure, or that a parent has to give birth or be the sperm donor to know how much you can love another person? Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise did the same dismissive routine with their adopted children. It is heartless and cruel. If you are going to be in the public eye….choose your words carefully. And don’t be so cold and dismissive in public, even if you are that way in private….obviously. #notimpressed. It also tells me and the rest of the world he really doesn’t have a clue what the full capacity of love is…as it is most definitely NOT biological!!

Barbara Ulrich on

“Barbara on December 12th, 2014
It makes not difference to his life whether they have a nanny or not, since he’s away at work all day. His wife has to unnecessarily go without a nanny so he can brag about it.”

All I can ask Barbara, is what on earth are you drinking? How can you make sure a lame comment? Did you not read the article or actually see Ashton on Ellen? Mila can go back to work any time she chooses to. However, what she has chosen is to stay at home with her daughter and not let someone else raise their child.

Of course on

Of course douche Kutcher would have children because he thinks his children would be better than everyone else’s. Once an arrogant jerk, always an arrogant jerk.

nanam on

Hey Ashton I have 2 kids and No NANNY!

Mandy on

I need a nanny, period!

tampajoey on

Because neither are smart enough to dial a phone?