Daphne Oz: Motherhood Is ‘So Much Harder Than I Imagined’

08/12/2014 at 03:45 PM ET

New mom Daphne Oz has already learned a valuable lesson in parenting: practice does not make perfect.

“It is so much harder than I imagined! You just care so much, and want everything to be perfect,” the TV host, 28, says in the latest issue of The Bump.

“Even though you know it never can be, you keep trying your best. It’s never enough!”

Oz, who welcomed daughter Philomena Bijou in February, admits all the books in the world couldn’t completely prepare her for life with her baby girl.

“I think the biggest change and challenge for me was coming to terms with the fact that being a good mom is not something you can read up on or learn from a distance,” she says. “You have to jump in headfirst and get your hands dirty.”

Daphne Oz The Bump
Melanie Acevedo / The Bump

And The Chew host is doing just that, joking her daughter has already provided plenty of fun — and memorable! — moments. “You haven’t lived until you’ve been pooped, peed or barfed on by your own child,” she explains. “It’s just hysterical — and oddly, not that gross.”

The first-time mom and her husband John Jovanovic decided to keep the baby’s sex a delivery surprise, so when the couple discovered they had welcomed a daughter, they turned to their list of names.

At the top? Philomena, a moniker the parents-to-be had already marked their “favorite” of the bunch. According to Oz, the deal was — almost — sealed.

“Once we put it together with her middle name, Bijou, and saw how cute her initials would be as PBJ, we were sold,” she shares. “But we also kept an open mind because I’m a big believer that babies have to fit their names, so we wanted to leave leeway in case she was just so not a Philomena.”

Oz’s next big milestone was returning to work on her show, which she did two months after giving birth.

“When the time came, I was anxious about leaving our little nest — I hadn’t been apart from Philo for more than an hour or so ever,” she recalls.

And although her cohosts “made it much easier,” it wasn’t long before Oz realized she would never bounce back to her old self. “I’m a new, hopefully better, version of me now, with lots more to care and think about, and a lot more personal knowledge too.”

Daphne Oz The Bump
Melanie Acevedo / The Bump

RELATED: Go Inside Daphne Oz’s Sweet and Sophisticated Nursery

— Anya Leon

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FILED UNDER: Daphne Oz , News , Parenting

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Showing 32 comments

ann on

So who is going to bankroll all the mommy’s who want to stay home, Sara?

Jen on

@sara – I totally agree with you! Regardless of whether it’s a host of The Chew or a clerk at a discount store, it is so selfish for a new mom to go back to work and earn a living so that she can provide for her child. I mean…sheesh…diapers, clothing, bathing items, other necessities? Ahhh….screw it. Baby can do without. And the saying of giving your child a better life than you had – way overrated!

firstlady82 on

While I agree that the maternity leave guidelines need to change, I disagree with the rest of your statement. Many working mothers go back to work not for fame but to provide for their family. I can’t speak for all mothers but I certain know I didn’t “dump” my newborn. It is extremely hard at times to get through a workday without thinking about your child or wanting to be there 24/7

Danielle on

So Sara, what if you have to leave your baby behind (as you put it) because chasing money is a necessity when raising a child? You sound completely ignorant by making that statement and you had to know on some level that other moms not including myself are going to want you to explain yourself? No mother should be made to feel guilty for going back to work. It’s not easy but it is definitely a part of life.

Hey on

Having children is a choice. If you cannot live within your means and stay home and need to dump them instead, then don’t get pregnant.

nuny on

Seriously? You don’t know what hard is until they turn teenagers.

firstlady82 on

So J…are you saying it is not possible to have a career AND children? Does that go for both parents or just women?

shap196 on

she is SO cute!! and sara, you SUCK!!!!

shap196 on

and J, yeah good point… because staying home and not contributing to society/your child’s future is the key to being a good mother. clearly i was confused… all the jobless/welfare mothers up here in our ghetto are actually the role models we should aspire to be like. screw higher education, ambition, passion, etc!!! thanks J, now i know.

Kristina on

Omg Sara you need a reality check. Some mothers need to go back to work. Not to mention, just to have some time to yourself, which all new mothers need. Also, the US doesn’t have much of a maternity leave as far as I know. Stop judging already.

Michelle on

Gee Sara – my daughter HAD to go back to work after 2 weeks – not because she was chasing fame or money – it’s because she HAD to go back to work. And for those who say why have a baby if you can’t afford it – they would be waiting a long time then. Sometimes you just have to go ahead with it. She is a very loving mother and it tore her heart to have to go back so soon.

Guest on

@nuny…Babies ARE hard. So are teenagers. Different types of ‘hard’, but both challenging nonetheless. Get off your high horse. People like you annoy me.

karen on

What a beautiful name for her baby. I love this family. They strive to help us understand much more for health and better our lives. Returning back to work is never easy for any mom. Child rearing, at any age is difficult. Working to provide for your baby’s future is bittersweet.

mimi on

Sara.. please keep yur stupid a comments to yourself. Some of ushave to go back to work to make money to support our children. She may not have HAD to but your comment lumps us all in one category.

bitsy on

@Hey – go back to the stone ages please and discontinue your internet service so that us hard working mothers don’t have to read your BS anymore.

Katie on

@Hey and @Sara I am a therapist who works with children with autism in a highly specialized field that requires a lot of education and training. Should I be denied the right to have my own children just because I enjoy and value my career? Since the majority of therapists in the field are women should we all just stay at home and raise our own children and leave children with autism and their parents just fend for themselves? Some of us work to contribute to society and not just to make money.

Rae on

Congrats to those of you who very obviously hit the jackpot and landed husbands who have “the means” for you to have a baby and stay at home, like we’re “meant to do.”
Unfortunately for myself and many others, I don’t live in the 1950s and since then the cost of living has increased, people are living longer and need more retirement savings, and not to mention the exorbitant cost of college for your family. Most families HAVE to have two working parents in order to live modestly. So very sorry to those I offended for bringing a wanted child into this world to love on and raise to be a thoughtful and kind person, even though it meant going back to work myself!

nadia nyc on

She is so pretty…..Her dad seems like he was an amazing dad.

Lauren Adilev on

Daphne is a ditz. The only reason she is known is because she is riding on Daddy’s coattails. Her daughter will turn out to be”so not a Philomena” when she is teased mercilessly every day in school. Give your child a normal name, get a real job, and stop showing your face.

ISeeYourPoint on

I understand what Sara is saying, my mother (fortunately) was able to stay home with my brother and I and I never wanted for attention, because she was always there to give it. However, I know SEVERAL young adults who grew up with mothers who had careers (that they didn’t “need” to put food on the table) and left the kids with nannies/babysitters or in the teen years basically left the kids to fend for themselves. Almost all of them turned out to be complete train wrecks. Doing anything and everything to get attention because they never got it at home, because their parents were too busy chasing a dollar.

If you don’t believe me, look at this generation of kids and look at generations from decades ago and tell me the difference.

It’s one thing to work to put food on the table, but if you’re working because you’re trying to “climb the corporate ladder” or whatever you want to call it, chances are your kids are gonna be attention hungry and they will resent you for it. Just my opinion.

Mandy on

@sara, some people NEED to work. ever think of that? get off your judgemental soap box please and stop assuming you know what works for others’ lives.

Truthfinder on

I tend to agree with Sara to a point. Although I don’t think that this mom was “dumping her child,” the fact still remains that way to many children are left with sitters and not raised by a mom or dad at home. Necessity to go back to work to provide for the child is one thing, but to be selfish and go back for reasons of more $$$$ or fame is just that: SELFISH! Women have been duped into thinking that raising a child is not as important as “fulfilling” a career goal. DO IT WHEN THE CHILD IS GROWN ENOUGH!! …or wait and have the child when you are finished working on yourself and ready to be beholden to someone else. Also, HAVE A RESPONSIBLE FATHER WHO HELPS RAISE THE CHILD!! Better for the child and better for you!

Ollie Z on

She will be a very good mom. Motherhood cannot be found in any book. You have to jump in and follow your heart and instincts for your the needs of your baby. Baby Philomena Bijou will be good in the Oz family with Dr. Oz , her grandfather. God bless them all.

Sierra on

@ISeeYourPoint-I know a multitude of people whose parents worked and they were happy, well-adjusted kids and now productive adults. On the flip-side I know many people whose moms stayed at home with them and they were constantly in trouble and and are still having the same difficulties in adults. Research has repeatedly shown that how one parents and teaches their children the skills they need to be successful in adulthood is the determining factor in how children “turn out” rather than whether or not a mom stays home with her kids full-time.

Val on

Love the name Philomena, its an unique and interesting name.

Vee on

@shap196-lots of women receive public assistance; not just minorities or those ‘in the ghetto’ as you mentioned. Get over yourself. Some people have been laid off, are disabled or have handicapped children and need help. I have a friend who delivers papers in the wee hours of the AM because that’s the only free time she has: she has 3 kids, one of whom is severly autistic. Her husband works during the day but he doesn’t earn alot of money & they have to make time to balance work & watch their kids. They’re minorities and people jump to false conclusions like you did–all the time. Sometimes life is hard; not everyone that is poor or lazy is in the ghetto. Lots of welfare recipients live in nice neighborhoods and put on fake personas to appease the masses. You don’t know what you’re talking about.

NV on

Glad she has learned from her motherhood and able to handling it!

Salome on

I see Sara’s point. Obviously if you gotta work to pay bills, you go back to work. But the honest truth is that the person/persons who spend the majority of our children’s time with them are the ones raising them. I have a friend whose husband makes well above what they would need–up in the 6 figures. And they were dying to have a baby and couldn’t. It was heartbreaking. So, 2 ivf rounds later, a beautiful baby boy. And what does she do? She goes back to work. She pays for daycare and sees the child a total of 2 hours a day. I just don’t get it. How badly did she wanna be a parent, anyway??

Vanna on

Those don’t make tons of money have to go back to work not long after the baby. It’s not they want to go back to work, it’s they have to go back to work to support the family and paying the bills. They have to juggling the motherhood and career in order to have a secure family life.

Marvin Clay on

If motherhood is so hard then dont have sex stupid.

Kayla on

I’m a fan of Daphne. We are the same age but she is more mature and has her stuff together. She seems like such a sweet person who loves her baby so much.

NV on

She seem having a great family, happy for her!