Eva Amurri Martino’s Blog: Having An Honest First Trimester – Learning to Cut Yourself Some Slack

05/12/2014 at 10:15 AM ET

Eva Amurri Martino Blog
End of the first trimester! – Courtesy Eva Amurri Martino

Please give a warm welcome to our newest celebrity blogger, Eva Amurri Martino!

The actress, who has followed in her mother Susan Sarandon‘s footsteps, is best known for her roles in Dead Man Walking, Saved and Californication, with recent appearances onΒ The Mindy Project and New Girl.

She’s currently guest-starring on Undateable, airing Thursdays at 9 p.m. on NBC, and will next appear as Emily in the ABC comedy pilot The Winklers.

Two years after tying the knot in Charleston, South Carolina, Amurri Martino and her husband, sports commentator Kyle Martino, announced they were expecting their first child —Β a baby girl — in August.

You can find her on Instagram and Twitter @4EvaMartino.

Hey! You may know me from TV’s Californication and The Mindy Project, as the rebel in cult fave Saved, or as the crazy inappropriate teacher in That’s My Boy.

I married my husband, Kyle Martino, a soccer analyst for NBC Sports, in 2011 and we are now expecting a daughter in late summer.

Writing this blog is especially fun for me because even before I got pregnant I found myself reading the celeb mommy blogs on PEOPLE.com and getting excited about the journey to come. I loved hearing women’s accounts of their own experiences at such a special time in their lives and I was amazed by how different they were, yet bound by many common threads.

It taught me that as mothers we really do all want the same things at the end of the day: a healthy happy child, a functioning relationship, and some semblance of a life.

Eva Amurri Martino Blog
On our wedding day – Tec Peteja

So let me start from the beginning. Kyle and my journey to parenthood did not start in that fairytale, “we-just-got-off-birth-control-and-oh-my-God-I-can’t-believe-I’m-already-pregnant!” kind of way. You know what I’m talking about. And if you were lucky enough to be that woman, I salute you. That was not my story.

I had a husband who travels for work four days a week, and a body that was taking a while to adjust to being off of birth control, and I found myself nine months later with no pregnancy.

This experience made me a crazy person. An ovulation-kit-buying, fertility-tracking, supplement-swallowing, bona fide Nut Job. It is a miracle that my husband still finds me even slightly endearing (enter the benefits of your husband getting four days a week on the road in a hotel, without you).

So after nine months of trying to get pregnant, and both of us with crazy schedules at work, we had a heart-to-heart and decided we would stop trying. We would just live our lives, throw out the fertility paraphernalia, and be adult humans again. If it happened, it happened.

And here comes the cosmic joke: a month later, and a day after we hosted a boozy party at our house, I peed on a stick to get rid of it from my bathroom cupboard. To get rid of it!

I was brushing my teeth and the little stick proudly displayed the word “Pregnant.” My toothbrush fell out of my mouth.

Here is where my blog post really starts, ladies and gentlemen, because I took one look at that stick and I was terrified. I suddenly felt like I was 14 again and I was going to get in major trouble.

Am I really pregnant? Am I allowed to be pregnant? Says who?! WHO IS THE BOSS OF ME?! Images of every pregnancy test commercial played through my mind, with these calm women smiling like they just swallowed a big fat Xanax, and I wanted to scream at them, “You idiots! Snap out of it! This is important! Now what the hell are we supposed to do?!”

It is real comedy to be trying for nine months to achieve a specific outcome and then find yourself shaking your husband awake in wide-eyed tears once you reach it because you feel like you have no idea what you’re doing.

We celebrated, we jumped up and down in disbelief and elation, we cried (me), and we told our parents and my best girlfriends.

And then my first experience with pregnancy started, in what I like to call the “First Trimester No Man’s Land,” because virtually nobody talks about it! Or at least nobody talks much about the downsides. I’m still trying to figure out why.

It seems so crazy that many women aren’t honest with each other about their feelings, experiences, and struggles during the absolute most vulnerable and scary time in their journey to motherhood.

But anyway, I guess that’s the purpose of this blog. And it didn’t take long for the pregnancy symptoms to kick in. And I’m not talking about the morning sickness a.k.a. “all-day nausea,” the breast tenderness that makes even putting on a T-shirt a harrowing experience, the ever-glamorous pregnancy acne, or the uterus-expanding cramps (these are terrifying during the first trimester if nobody has warned you, by the way).

I was expecting all of that fun stuff! Those are the things that moms LOVE to complain about fondly in retrospect because what is more adorable than a little nausea and acne! These symptoms make pregnancy seem difficult, but still kind of funny. Everyone I spoke to had a surprisingly cute story about somewhere weird they had puked.

Okay. Well, that is NOT all that can happen.

I am talking about the unspoken emotional symptoms of pregnancy. Interesting and difficult feelings like confusion, anxiety, guilt, anger, and depression. Hormones are no joke, and for some women, they can induce feelings that coincide with the more talked-about “Hooray, I’m pregnant!” feelings.

And the truth is that I did experience all of these more taboo feelings at some point during my first trimester, and it was horrible. Not because of the feelings themselves as much, but because I wasn’t expecting them and so I felt that something was seriously wrong with me.

The hormones did a number on me, but I did an even worse number on myself with guilt and judgment. The pregnancy acne made me feel unattractive and awful about myself, which made me cry and avoid the exercise classes and social events that I used to cherish.

I already felt like I couldn’t tell anyone about my pregnancy, and so this added to the feelings of isolation. I became anxious about everything: what I was eating, what I wasn’t eating, the vitamins I was taking, the beauty products I was used to (I must have thrown out a full garbage bag of gloriously expensive beauty products for absolutely no good reason).

I vowed to use only organic everything, and then felt overwhelming guilt when I cracked and needed a hair conditioner, pasta dish, soda, or pimple cream that didn’t fall into this category.

Eva Amurri Martino Blog
A dinner that may not have fallen into the organic category – Courtesy Eva Amurri Martino

I kept trying to set up goals for myself (eating organic, working out regularly, cooking and running errands as usual) that were unattainable for me at that time. Every time I fell short, I felt more and more minimized.

I felt sick constantly which made me feel angry and frustrated. This of course also immediately triggered the guilt reflex. (“If I hate this feeling it means I must hate being pregnant which means I must hate my baby which means I’m the worst mother in the world.” I am now laughing hysterically rereading that sentence.)

My husband, whom I absolutely adore, was suddenly enemy number one to me. There was no way he could hold or comfort me that seemed comforting. His attempts at helping my nausea or mood swings only annoyed me more. I felt like a monster bitch of epic proportions. This absolutely horrified me and I wondered aloud to my mom and my close girlfriends if I would ever feel “normal” again.

In the thick of it, I swore I would have to live the rest of my life that way.

Looking back, all of these feeling mostly stemmed from the fact that I didn’t feel how I thought I was supposed to feel. And that was the most difficult of all. I truly believed that I was the only woman who had ever felt this way during pregnancy.

I had one brutally honest pregnant girlfriend who was a godsend to me during this time. I texted or called her with every cramp, twinge, or mood swing and she offered her most honest input. She should bill me.

And would you believe that she actually had experienced some similar feelings in her first trimester? In those moments I didn’t feel so crazy anymore. It encouraged me to open up to more women who were mothers, and share what I was going through.

Some of them couldn’t relate, but some could — in spades. More than anything, these women gave me hope that things would calm down and even out as soon as I got through my first trimester.

The best advice, though, came from my husband. I had been having a particularly tough morning, feeling guilty about feeling miserable, and he sat me down and took my hand.

He told me that I needed to cut myself some slack. That he would be just as unhappy if he were going through what I was going through right now. That there was nothing wrong with absolutely hating sensations that were making me feel sick and miserable. That it didn’t make me a bad mother, and that in fact (and here comes my genius husband with the golden nugget) it made me a better mother because I was being honest and dealing with my feelings as they came instead of bottling them up and walking around stressed and pregnant.

He told me he was proud of me, and grateful that I was carrying our child, and that he wanted me to give him as many of my daily tasks as I could so that he could take them off of my plate.

And ladies and gentlemen, I fell even more in love with him.

And the even better part was that HE WAS RIGHT. I needed to give myself a little credit. Who could be blissfully happy when they spent their entire day trying not to projectile vomit, with terrible acne, swollen breasts, and nuclear PMS?

My unborn fetus wasn’t judging me. She was a fetus. And so I forgave myself. And I decided to trust that these feelings would end with the first trimester. And luckily for me, they did.

Eva Amurri Martino Blog
Through the first trimester – Courtesy Eva Amurri Martino

In an almost-comedic way, one day they just lifted and pregnancy became fun. I never thought I would say this, but I love it. Completely. And once that baby starts kicking and moving inside you, there is a sense of wonder and gratitude that is almost indescribable.

But I will never forget those days and weeks of self-doubt, of guilt and stress that I was somehow not living up to what I was supposed to as a wife and as a mother-to-be, and that is my motivation for sharing my first trimester experience with you.

It’s okay to be happy and sad, to be excited and scared, to be grateful and confused. Let go of being perfect — what you are accomplishing inside your body is the perfection.

We are only human, and we all need to cut ourselves a little slack sometimes.

— Eva Amurri Martino

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Showing 65 comments

Clw0121 on

I identified with almost every word of this blog entry. My first trimester for my now two-year-old daughter was a nightmare. I had wanted more than anything to be pregnant, but the nausea and worry kept me from truly enjoying it. I could only stomach sports drinks, saltines, and popsicles, and I felt horribly guilty for eating that “junk” instead of a colorful pile of steamed veggies.

I was so exhausted I could barely walk. I felt like a failure. How are other women able to do this? is what I asked myself everyday. I honestly believed I would never feel good again. Then one day I felt better. Boom.

There is no moral to this story…but if you are a woman who feels this way, don’t be too hard on yourself. For some, this is “normal”. PS I hear some people have similar problems when weaning.

ktbirdy on

I’m glad you are enjoying it more now. I felt nauseous for almost my entire pregnancy (weeks 6-42, but who’s counting), so it was hard to enjoy. But the first year of motherhood was even harder for me. More than once, I thought I’d made a huge mistake in deciding to become a parent. But it passed (especially with the help of antidepressants).

Just a head’s up that it is also okay if you don’t enjoy the infant stage so much. It is a huge transition, becoming a parent, and young babies don’t offer a lot of obvious gratitude for your struggles.

sfmom on

This might just be the best entry in the People Mommy Blog compendium. We so often make ourselves miserable with the belief that the feelings we’re feeling are abnormal or inappropriate or worse, that we’re the only ones feeling them (and thereby are defective or “bad” in some way).

Eva, I doubt you’ll read this, but if you do, I want to say to you personally, I hope you will remember this lesson and keep it for yourself for the postpartum phase. I know we talk more about postpartum depression that we used to (which is good!), but that only covers part of it.

The post-delivery hormonal roller coaster is/can be an avalanche of crazy and the most important thing (for me at least…with all three of my kids) has been to remember that 1) these feelings are not permanent – I will not always feel how I feel at this moment, my life is not doomed to a path of (fill in the blank miserable navel-gazey feeling) and 2) lots of other women have felt this way and it’s NORMAL.

Take it easy on yourself, draw from the love and support of the people around you and remember, you’re not alone.

Bailey on

Thank you so much for this candid, honest and heartfelt blog entry. I am 7 weeks along and am having the same feelings. Most of my friends have had babies long ago and I guess have seemed to forget what they felt i the first trimester. This has defintely helped me with all those crazy guilty, scary feelings

SNO on

I identified with almost every single word in this blog. I am 20 weeks pregnant and my first trimester was s wave of nausea, acne, sinus infections and emotions. As the second trimester approached, I was praying for what every website and book calls the “calm after the storm” and gratefully I got it! I appreciate the post and the honesty; I had tears falling from how much I could relate. Thank you!

Monica on

What a true and heartfelt entry. The truth about the 1st trimester (especially the 1st time) is that it’s a terrifying time. Every little ache and pain makes you think something is wrong. It’s a constant worry about miscarriage or birth defects but at the same time wonder of joy that you’re pregnant. And if you are like me and didn’t tell anyone until after the 1st trimester, you are doing all this freaking out alone. And don’t even get me started on the hormones (BTW- nothing compared to the couple of weeks after baby is born)!

But like I told my best friend who was pregnant before me the 1st time- you are already a good mom because you are worrying about the baby. A bad mom wouldn’t even care. So remember that as your pregnancy progresses and enjoy every second.

Sara on

She’s so beautiful and elegant, just like her momma.

Raini on

It’s funny you talked about the “secrets” that pregnant women withhold from other pregnant women, I had a similar discussion with my friend and I was blown away that this was happening. Not only did she tell me there were secrets but then withheld the secrets from me, what the bleep?!?!? I guess it was one of those “well nobody told me so I’m not telling you” kinda things?

Not cool I say, not cool. I vowed not to do that and tell anyone that wanted to listen about the “secrets”. Each time a friend became pregnant I made sure they could contact me about anything and I meant ANYTHING. (I think I was a bit too open at times, oopsy) Us mommas have to look out for each other, after all we’ve all been in that scary 1st time mom roll and it’s bleeping scary! So glad you have someone to be upfront and honest with you, we all need the help and honesty!!!!

Best of luck to you, it’s the most frighteningly beautiful roller coaster ride you will ever get on.

Anna on

Thank you Eva! You’re right, when I found the stick changing colors – I did 3 of them, because I had to have done something wrong. Then it was elation of “Oh my, we’re going to be Parents!” and then the panic of “What have we just gotten ourselves in to?”. When my girlfriends were expecting babies, I said, “If you have fear and panic, it’s normal. Don’t panic, breathe and let it pass. It’ll be good and I’ll listen if you need to dump your basket.”

While we lost our baby, we were blessed to adopt our beautiful daughter when she was 5 and life has been bliss ever since. Congratulation to you and your Darling Husband – I hope you both have a great experience together. ❀

diane on

you a beautiful momma with a beautiful story keep telling your truth. xxxx

Lilian on

Well written, outstanding blog in this series.

Lilybett on

I agree with just about everyone else so far. Great blog post (one of the best of these I’ve read) and so great to have more open discussions about the taboos. I tried discussing some of these issues with friends and was shut down a few times because I should be so grateful to be pregnant as there are so many women who can’t etc. I was grateful, I truly was, but I was also scared and sad and ecstatic and sore and completely uncertain and in the dark about what my body was doing to me emotionally.

There’s a similar black-out on discussion about just after birth – you MUST fall in love with your child instantly, have an immediate rush of love, etc – and sometimes that doesn’t happen (but god forbid you talk about not feeling overwhelming love for your child the first time you hold them).

Thanks for letting the light in – hopefully it shines on someone else who’s having a similar experience and it makes their emotional load that much easier.

JC on

I needed to read this right now, thank you! I’m 12 weeks and having a tough time made even tougher by the fact we haven’t told anyone yet! I always thought I would be happy, connected to my womanhood, doing pre-natal yoga and have glowing skin and hair when pregnant. However, I feel bloated, exhausted, terrified allll the time something bad is going to happen and then guilty all at the same time! My acne is sooo bad I’m embarrassed to go out without piles of makeup.

This was the most helpful account of the first trimester for me. I’m so glad I’m not the only one experiencing these things. Thank you! Thank you!

Fundraising Franny on

Augh, 12:41 in the morning the night before my second dr. visit. (11 weeks–already heard the beautiful heartbeat!) My husband is away and I am up sick as a dog–both with worry and nausea. THIS is exactly what I needed to read. I wish I had the guts to tell all during the 1st trimester bc really why do we wait? So we don’t have to explain or discuss if something happens? Sounds so crazy and yet here I am, coping with this anxiety without any experienced mom/female support. Why are women so marginalized by stigma and tradition? Hasn’t this always worked against us in the past? I guess 1st mom jitters are getting the best of me..and the rest of the world is getting the worst!! All I can do is keep consoling myself and striving for the best.

Stacy on

Thank you….thank you!!!!! I love her and what she wrote. Perfection!

Tammy on

OMG! Eva this is such an honest blog…..and there is nothing wrong having an IN’NOUT burger…..YOU go girl…..Your husband is an angel……Have a healthy, happy pregnancy

btw, I had morning sickness with my 1st girl….but she came healthy and happy 29 yrs ago

Catherine on

This is THE best mommy blog ever!!!

dukegirl1992 on

I am one of those lucky women who never get nauseous during pregnancy and pretty much feel great the entire time. However, this pregnancy, my second, I dealt with being fired and unable to find a new job, a herniated disc and an orthopedic surgeon whose office nurse told me there was nothing they could do for me because I am pregnant, and foreclosure on a house I tried to sell for years.

Couple that with a very strong willed toddler and hormones, let’s just say I cried me a river. Coming up on delivery next week (c section because of the back problems), I am truly sad my pregnancy days are over.

We all experience them differently, but honestly I think dialogue like this is healthy and am glad women feel they can share their mixed emotions. Honestly, there should be some fear and anxiety about having a baby. And I think we all have enough guilt. The most important thing is to try to be healthy for yourself and your babies.

TJ on

This was soooo incredibly spot on! I’m 14 weeks and have felt every single thing Eva mentioned and more! The acne, breast pain, fear of cramping, persistent nausea, sinus infections, SCH, affected eye sight…I’ve run the gamut!

I’m glad to be in my second trimester and past most of these issues but the overwhelming guilt, anger, stress and fear was so real. This is THE best baby blog!

Thank you, Eva and keep ’em coming.

Rach on

Add uterus-stretching cramps to the list of reasons that I will never carry or give birth to a child.

Tiny W on

Thank you for this blog post. 12 weeks now and I’ve felt these hormonal shifts. And had horrible nausea and could barely eat anything up until exactly week 12 started. It was weird and scary that nausea could stop so suddenly that I thought something must be wrong. But so far so good!

kitty62862 on

Dear Lady, if this is what your blog will be like, please have about 100 children! Enjoy the second trimester “No such thing as enough sex” phase!

You are delightfully hilarious! But, I shouldn’t be surprised, you Mom’s a Gem, so you’d have to be πŸ˜‰

Holly on

Ahhh. Thank you. Just thank you.

Nikki on

This is the best mommy blog I’ve read so far! Honest, comedic, and endearing. Thank you so much for being real!

Rachel on

Best mommy blog ever!

Luvthesun on

Finally a celebrity being brutally honest! I’ve experienced the same issues with two pregnancies now. People get so upset when I say I do not enjoy being pregnant, love my children but not the pregnancies. 7 months pregnant now and I look forward to it being over and for good as I do not want to do it again. My heart aches for those who do not get the chance to experience pregnancy but it is not always the easiest thing to put your body or mind through.

Eva I applaud you on your honesty and look forward to the rest of your blog posts.

Mel on

What a great blog! I like how honest Eva is about her first trimester. I had the uterus stretching cramps and wondered what the heck they were. They lasted a few weeks and when I finally discovered what they were in a book, I was a little alarmed since the cramps lasted longer than usual. Then when I found out I was carrying twins it made sense. It’s funny how they feel like cramps, but not too painful – just a pulling sensation.

Someone else mentioned here about not worrying if you don’t feel an instant connection with your baby. I completely agree. Probably more than anything due to the extreme roller coaster of hormones running through my body after giving birth and nursing twins, it took me a while to bond with my daughters. Lack of sleep was also a culprit I presume.

Anyway, I think it took me at least 2-3 months before I felt that bond but I didn’t feel guilty about it. Thank The Lord I had a wonderful understanding mom and mother in law I could talk to who both said they had been through the same thing. Now my daughters are nearly 16 and I could not be prouder nor could love any two people more than I do them. I’m divorced so I can say that. πŸ™‚ They’re teenagers, though, so there are occasional days I want to strangle them, but that’s a whole other topic entirely. Lol

Blue on

Great Blog! Yes yes and yes. The hormonal changes are something I was not prepared for. Just be aware of when baby comes. Those hormones can come crashing down just as well, but this time a tiny human is there you have to take care of — thus making all those feelings you mention paramount! Surround yourself with a supportive core of family and friends and know things will be okay πŸ˜‰

Kristyn on

YES! I can totally relate! Thank you for your honest depiction of pregnancy. It’s not always a fairy tale! Yet all so worth it…

Mary on

Beautiful words of truth from Eva and Kyle! More people should just tell it like it is-and it isn’t always easy!

Eva, don’t freak out when you leave the euphoria of the second trimester, and the end of the third trimester hits, and you can’t sleep, and you are tired, emotional, anxious, and you feel very outside of yourself. These feelings can also carry on after delivery, until those hormones settle, you get a routine, and some zzzzz’s! Seems you two know how to talk and share this journey together, and that is what you rely on to see you through.

Thank you for being so honest, it is very helpful to so many women who don’t have the picture perfect beginning, middle or end! Having a baby is an amazing gift in life, but it doesn’t mean that the journey is always beautiful, and there is no shame in admitting that!

Tia on

Great blog and well written!

Pam on

I hated being pregnant except when I felt my son kick and remembered that I was giving him life. I never got sick but I had everything else bad imaginable. Lol.

Melanie on

In all honesty, this is probably the best celebrity baby blog ever! Mu husband and I got married last August, and have been trying since March and it’s been so stressful. We had a chemical pregnancy, (early miscarriage after 2 months of trying) and I felt like a failure up until recently. Reading this makes me feel I am not alone.

I switched to all organic, (I mean ALL ORGANIC) over the Winter, and am an avid runner, but realized you do not to take it easy on yourself, TTC or already are. We women need to stick together and understand that we are amazing for being able to have the chance to be a Mother no matter how/what it takes to get there.

Congratulations Eva!!!

ls0919 on

All I can say is: Best celeb preggo blog yet!!

Looking forward to more from Eva.

Erika on

This is SO much better than that People article with the celebrity (who, I can’t recall) – says that her first trimester was BLISSFUL because she ate only organic and healthy. When I read that article, it made me so sad because I knew that some moms would read that and feel bad about themselves. In contrast, this article is quite refreshing – and honest. Love it.

I am currently pregnant with my 7th baby – and I can identify with pretty much everything she’s said – well, and I also have intense anxiety because 2 of my daughters (identical twin girls) were stillborn and one baby I miscarried… I feel very blessed and lucky – and even though I love the outcome of holding a child at the end of a pregnancy – the morning sickness and all the hard parts of pregnancy are always present – and as I’ve gotten older, it’s gotten worse. I still feel lucky.

I hope People posts more honest, refreshing articles, such as this one.

Elle on

This is so honest and relatable to me. Very refreshing! Thank you, Eva! You’re an incredible writer and I look forward to reading more from you.

Margaret on

Thank you beyond words for being so honest and normalizing something I went through myself during pregnancy. Many blogs about pregnancy and parenting can make a woman feel so inadequate. It’s isolating when you don’t feel the way everyone else thinks you should feel. I swear my hormones have never been the same since but I wouldn’t trade any of it for my two daughters.

Cheers to the brave moms and the amazing dads that hang in there even when it’s not easy!!

Shannon on

I cannot thank you enough, Eva, for writing about your first trimester with so much honesty. I am 32 and currently 10 weeks pregnant (with as much surprise as you had), and it has been anything but easy so far. You’re right, no one talks about this part and it comforting to have other women share similar stories. Thank you again!

Sarah on

This is amazing! I wish we could all be this honest about pregnancy. I’m 35 weeks today and my first trimester was almost exactly like Eva described. 2nd was great, and now I’m back to those anxious, guilty, “am I doing everything I should be?” feelings.

I love that Eva is so honest about how pregnancy affects emotions. It makes me feel like I’m not so crazy after all πŸ˜‰

Rebecca on

This this this!!! THANK YOU for writing this. I completely relate – I’m 20 weeks now and my first trimester was a nightmare. I was completely unprepared for how awful I felt, the fatigue that felt like a flu and was worse the more I tried to rest, the never ending tortuous nausea, aches, etc.

The worst was the feeling that it was the hidden part of pregnancy – you aren’t ‘allowed’ to tell anyone you’re expecting so you feel completely inadequate when you can’t keep up your normal workload without 12 hr of sleep, you have to stop working out despite all your resolutions to keep it up until tri 3, etc etc.

And you can’t tell anyone – you have to pretend you’re fine at work or wherever else. You LOOK normal (no bump yet), everyone only talks about discomfort when you’re 30 wks + so why was the first trimester this horrendous experience that no one acknowledges???

I felt like a whining complaining ungrateful beotch but did have a few people I could vent and be honest about my feelings with – thank goodness for them!

ajs on

This was great to read and completely agree. However I’m now 34 weeks and all those feelings are back. What have I got my self into, what if I’m no good at being a mom, hoping all this pain and misery is worth it, crying over everything, and mad about stuff that should make me laugh. Feeling terrible that I just want to be done already.

I have come to learn that it’s all stress, nerves, and hormones and that many women feel the same way and that it’s ok. Pregnancy is not easy so I remind myself when I feel emotional and when others what to give me a hard time about my mood that “I’m making a person!” Lol

Jen on

I can definitely relate to the “First Trimester No Man’s Land.” I am finishing up my first trimester with my second child. Everything discussed is exactly how I am feeling.

It’s a terrible state to live in. It’s hard because I don’t look pregnant yet; however, I feel like if I complain then I’m seeking attention or using my pregnancy to get out of doing things. I experienced most of the same feelings during my first trimester; however, I feel worse this time around.

Fortunately I do remember that it does eventually get better. I am two weeks away from my Second Trimester and I remember feeling great the first time around once I hit this milestone. I’m looking forward to enjoying this pregnancy as well!

I agree that more woman should open up about how they are truly feeling. It does help to know you are not alone.

Tammy on

Great blog, Eva. Congratulations on what was the best thing that ever happened to me in my life.

Some of your pregnancy symptoms are also feelings you get when your child had a bad day at school and you have to send them the next day, when they’re out late with friends and don’t call, learn to drive, graduate college, have a serious relationship that fails and then fall in true love, marry and move away. I’ve skipped over some but let’s just say that I’m in the throes of wedding planning with her (where did the time go?!) and it’s going to be very hard seeing her move an hour away.

I really think pregnancy is just the beginning to prepare us for the unknown and unsurety of a journey that will be scary exciting, make you question yourself many times if you’re doing the right thing and you won’t be able to be perfect quite a bit. Women work in and out of the home and there’s many pushes and pulls, ups and downs and your children are watching and learning and will see you fail and then triumph again. Give yourself a break, try to be present and all you can really do is wing it at times!

Sarah J Boehm on

Thank you so much for that! It brought back so many memories of myself during my pregnancy. I too experienced the same exact issues as you did and it is a relief to that other did/do as well. I loved being pregnant but that first trimester….wow! Thanks again!!!!

Katie on

It’s as if you are reading my thoughts! I am 8 weeks into my first pregnancy and literally everything mentioned sums me up right now.

I have never been so nervous about screwing up in my life. I know that I need not worry so much because women have been doing this whole giving birth thing for thousands of years without diets, workouts, vitamins, etc and humans still exist, lol.

Thank you for an honest piece on pregnancy.

ariel on

Thank you so much for this post! It’s by far the best I’ve ever read and the only one I’ve ever felt compelled to comment on. Your writing is wonderful and honest and engaging.

Thanks so much for your honesty and comedy and for reminding women that it’s ok to take a step back and cut ourselves some slack!

PeL on

Thank you so much for this post. I’m 15 weeks pregnant and I could relate to everything you said. I still have tears rolling down my face. I felt guilty for not loving being pregnant. I was sick all the time from before week 6 until about week 11. I felt invaded and uneasy and so many other things. And I’m still emotionally not myself.

Thank you helping us know we’re not alone.

bitsy on

Like her a lot on undateable. Congrats to her and her husband.

Kristen on

Everything is spot on. It’s funny how we are so willing to share the puking, weird cravings and cramps, yet no one wants to talk about feeling sad, vulnerable, angry or irritable all at once. The feeling when you want to punch some woman who makes their pregnancy seem all rainbows and unicorns. Truth is, it’s probably not, but no one wants to talk about it! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

kristen on

This article is God-sent to me today. I am experiencing all of the horrible emotions and frustrations Eva described. Spent last night crying because I don’t know what else to do. I feel like no one understands what I am dealing with, in addition to an auto immune disorder that is rearing its ugly head at the same time.

Thanks for the support and love…really helped me today. Congratulations to you and your family!

sarah on

So true. I always felt like I had my postpartum while I was pregnant. I felt so depressed the whole time. Just a dark cloud over my head. The day each baby was born I was almost buzzing with happiness that lasted nearly a year. What a ride! I would certainly choose this rather than being sad and blue when the baby arrived.

Tay on

Totally understanding Eva’s blog and telling the truth, good for her.

sophie on

GREAT POST!!! i had my first baby a year ago, and feel like it is my mission to tell my friends the truth about pregnancy. it is refreshing to see it in print for everyone to see πŸ™‚ and not to be a hater, but for a girl who made people check their phones at the door for her wedding so she could sell her wedding photos- i always thought she took herself way too seriously, so big kudos to eva on being “real.” sounds like being a mommy is already bringing out the best in you!

jlnette on

Thank you!! I’m in my 12th week and was feeling some or all of these emotions. I was really worries that I wasn’t happy about my biggest dream coming true. This helps and I agree there isn’t enough talk about the not so cute parts of being pregnant especially in the beginning.


Thoughtful, intelligent, down to earth and well-written.

Tay on

Its a very good blog, congrats to her!

Angie on

Great reading this blog. Eva is not alone, so many can relate to her problem, glad she is sharing her story.

ImALadyToo on

She is nothing like her mother at all. First, she seems like a lovely woman and, second, she married the love of her life and then got pregnant. Apparently, either no one will marry Sarandon or she just thinks she’s too cool to be married.

Gail on

This blog is so well written on telling your story, share your experience, outstanding and great job.

Ellen on

I was oblivious my 1st trimester with 1st child, didn’t even know I was pregnant ’til week 11; was tired and a little nauseated during 1st trimester with 2nd. HOWEVER, the part that absolutely knocked me on my butt both times was the sleep deprivation after baby was born. Heads up, mamas, it can be BRUTAL. But screw the guilt, you don’t have to be perfect, just get through it, get help when you need it, and remember that the bad parts don’t last forever.

Tay on

Eva made a good point that for first trimester, try to cut yourself some slack, very true.

Jo on

There has been no other blogger that I’ve felt more like I could just hug!!

My husband and I struggled desperately for over 5 years to have a baby. After multiple disappointments, miscarriages and fertility treatments, I’m finally pregnant with twins – which I imagined as me floating on clouds of happiness… Sure…. When the nausea just kept getting worse and worse, I began struggling with so many doubts and fears.

All my determination to be as healthy as possible and eat like a champ – that got flushed away real quick. Right now, it’s all about eating anything that will stay down. And since Energade is the only liquid that will stay put – well, things have been harder than I thought. I’m just praying it ends soon with the 2nd trimester!!

Thank you for a blog where FINALLY a mother isn’t just breezing through the pregnancy, just glowing and radiating health and good will πŸ˜‰

Celeste on

This is an incredible, truthful post full of humor. Thanks.

Kimberly on

Girl I can definitely relate to your blog and that you are feeling. I had terrible “morning” sickness which felt like it lasted my entire pregnancy, something called Pupp, forget the scientific name of that one but it caused me to have a red itchy rash all over my body, anyone else suffer from this. It only happens in first pregnancies my ob/gyn told me and once you deliver the rash is completely gone. Pregnancy is definitely not an easy thing to go through…ladies hang in there!!!

Crystal on

Thank you so much for this blog! I completely related to you saying that you’d read these blogs before you got pregnant because that’s totally me! I haven’t been pregnant yet but hope to be blessed one day to be! I’m excited but get very nervous thinking about everything that comes along with pregnancy! Will I be able to get pregnant and will I be able to handle the symptoms and emotions that come with it. Thank you for your honesty. I’ll remember your words when I finally do get pregnant and give myself some slack and try to realize that I’m a rockstar for growing a little human inside of me. Keep up the blogs. I’ll be following along πŸ™‚