Majandra Delfino’s Blog: Beauty Is in the Eye of the … Belly?

03/31/2014 at 09:00 AM ET

Please give a warm welcome to our new celebrity blogger, the hilarious Majandra Delfino!

Best known for playing Maria DeLuca in the hit series Roswell, the actress now stars in CBS’s new show Friends with Better Lives, airing Monday nights on CBS.

In March 2011, Delfino, 33, and About a Boy‘s David Walton were married in Miami.

They are now parents to daughter Cecilia Delphine, 21 months, and son Louis Augustus, 4 months.

Delfino can be found on Twitter @MajandraD.

Majandra Delfino Blog Friends with the Better LivesBil Burri


Of course, as it happens with most, when I was first asked to do a baby blog I vacillated from feeling like I had nothing to write about to feeling like I had so much to say. I think that this is what sums up motherhood the best — being torn from one extreme to the other ALL THE DARN TIME!

So get ready because that’s going to be the theme of my blogs in one way or the other. You’ve been warned!

First, let me introduce myself. My name is Majandra Delfino. I was on a beautiful show many years ago called Roswell where I played a spicy teen in love with a handsome alien. At the time I was a spicy teen myself, in love with boys that might as well have been from other planets.

Now, I am on a show called Friends with Better Lives, where I play a mother of two who is married to the love of her life and lives in a sweet Los Angeles suburb. And guess what I’m up to these days? I’m a mother of two, married to the love of my life in a sweet Los Angeles suburb.

My husband David Walton is on a show called About a Boy – and we had a boy-themed year ourselves when he filmed it. The similarities are just adorable. (Disclaimer: the play on words of the title About a Boy could also be in reference to my husband’s character … which could possibly maybe be true in my real life as well?? That’s all I’m going to say on that, m’kay?)

My show hilariously covers all the pitfalls and inconsistencies we young parents encounter on a daily basis. “I love my kid, she’s an angel! Oh my God, I want to kill her, she’s the live version of Chucky!” But in my real life, sometimes these contradicting incidents aren’t worthy of a laugh track or maybe they are — but definitely at my expense.

At the end of the day though, the journey of parenthood truly begins the first moment you see that ol’ pregnancy stick you’ve peed on since your paranoid 20s give you a very different result: positive.

Sugar, you are having a baby!

And so began our journey or as I like to call it, “Hi! I’m a private person, but sure complete strangers, come up to me every five seconds and tell me your thoughts on pregnancy!”

From the moment your belly pops (which for me was two seconds after the “positive” pee experience — please see above), you become what I can only guess most people consider “public domain.” That means everyone and I mean EVERYONE has something to say (and feels they MUST say) about how you look, what you’re having, how you’re going to deliver it and then right back to how you look. And what I learned almost every time is that people (even women) are still super down on women …

Super heavy topic right? Guess what — you’re going to be raising another human being. Everything is heavy now.

Let me explain what led to this fantastic realization. When pregnant with my first child, I was incredibly sick and incredibly stressed, trying to renovate my bachelorette-style apartment into a family-friendly dwelling.

Needless to say, there were no visits to Krispy Kreme for a personal baker’s dozen or a lovely stroll at the Grove with a giant size Häagen-Dazs malt. I was on the go go go and not a lot of things seemed appetizing on the way. As a result, my belly got huge but the rest of my body stayed the same. And that moment right there is when the woman-bashing began.

How, you ask? It came in the innocent shape of the following comment: “Oh my God, you look so beautiful pregnant!!!! Let me guess, you must be having a boy.”

There it is. A seemingly innocuous comment right? But after the 100th time, it really does start to make you wonder. Why would we assume having another girl inside ourselves would make us ugly??

Oh I know! People explained it to me. Get ready. It’s because “girls rob you of your beauty.” WHAT????? Or my personal favorite, the ever-so-scientific, “It’s the hormones — too much estrogen.” Cool … cuz more testosterone is a real beauty enhancer.

Here’s the truth: we have all kinds of hormones we aren’t used to when we’re pregnant (please see “I was super sick” situation above) and how we look or what our hair does or how we gain weight or where we gain weight can have absolutely nothing to do with it.

I felt like crap, but I supposedly looked good. Who the hell knows why? I certainly can’t tell you why. I can, however, tell you this — I was having a girl.

Still, everywhere I went, people were so adamant that it must be a boy.

This was a typical day for me: random guy at Home Depot: “Boy?” Lady selling over-priced fabric: “You look stunning! You’ve got a little boy in there!” Woman picking out molding: “Oh my God, your legs are tiny! Can’t be a girl, they give you fat in all the wrong places.” Russian guy at paint store: “Let me guess, boy? No?? Oh … but you’re Russian, yes?”

It was crazy. Towards the end of my pregnancy it got so nuts, people were yelling “Boy!” at me from across the street. It was terrifying! And weird. But it was so frequent and so intense, my husband and I really started to question whether there really was a girl in there — or just a boy with a very, very unfortunately sized penis.

Majandra Delfino Blog Friends with the Better Lives Courtesy Majandra Delfino

Regardless, the whole thing got me thinking. What the hell are we saying with that? Are we still down on women to that extent?? We really think having a girl inside us makes us look bad?! That’s just another s—– way of saying we’re something bad … like all the other things we throw a pinch of s——– into describing perfectly normal traits pertaining to girls: bossy, naggy, emasculating and now this doozy!

I always felt like at this point, in our generation, the worst thing you could do for women was talk about the suffering of women. That the only way to achieve equality is to grab it by the balls (ovaries?) and not let them see you coming — and frankly, I thought we were doing pretty well so far doing just that. I never in my days thought I’d be making my first blog about something like this.

Strangely enough, during this “it-must-be-a-boy-turns-out-it-was-a-girl-oh-maybe-girls-are-actually-awesome” pregnancy, I had just gotten embroiled in a ridiculous encounter with a woman complaining that her books were never reviewed with the same respect her male contemporaries received. Problem was, her idea of who her male contemporaries were was extremely out of touch. She wrote light novels bordering on shallow and the said contemporaries she spoke of will probably go down as the Steinbecks of our time — and rightfully so, these male authors are insanely talented.

Did she really think she was their equal? Or was she piggy-backing on something so important as female equality so as to skip a few steps (a.k.a. write better books) to be on their level? The twist though, was that this same woman was incredibly mean to people who didn’t possess her exact body type. She would literally shut someone out and say terrible things about them if they didn’t fit her idea of the proper representation of a woman’s body. How awful is that?

But that all fell in line perfectly with everything I was going through with all these public encounters. Everyone has these set ideas for women — from one extreme to the next — and it sucks. When women should just be focusing on doing what they want to do and doing it well, not wasting their time justifying every aspect of it. I was literally spending my days defending my soon-to-be daughter’s effect on me to everyone I met.

Still, complaining about it gets us nowhere, I suppose, and I am doing that very thing right here. But I had to share. I had to make this first blog about that, should anyone else be experiencing the same head-scratcher I did.

I was giving birth to a baby girl with these s—– undertones in our world. The meaning of women’s rights is still all completely jumbled up. From the crazy author lady to the random strangers on the street. It was all such a weird, confused and unnecessary message.

And fine, it’s already there in day-to-day stuff — but when you’re pregnant? We’re tired! Leave us alone! And if you have to talk to us, must you choose a topic that infuses such a s—– message about us to us? And it wasn’t just me — my friend, Meredith Quill, has a website dedicated to the dumb things people say to women when they’re pregnant. Turns out my experience with the girl put-down is very normal. But why?!

I don’t know. I really don’t know.

What I do know is this. After all the “boy” guesses and all those conversations, I gave birth to a healthy 9 lb. girl. No penis. No secret dude in there the whole time. A girl. A girl who made me look like a very cute pregnant woman. A little girl who put those dumb old wives’ theories to rest.

Fast forward to eight months later. I was pregnant again. Having known with the first pregnancy, we decided not to find out the sex with our second. So, blissfully along I went with my second pregnancy not knowing a darn thing about whether there was a girl or a boy in there.

But guess what? It was the same. I still didn’t gain weight in my ass, and I still looked the same way I did the first time. Everywhere I went people would be so sweet and tell me I looked beautiful (and of course that it must be a boy because girls make you look bad and oh my God, my jeans were still tiny!).

So with that, I knew what I was having. I was the exception to the rule and girls made me “look pretty” — and you know what, I felt kind of badass knowing that. So on with the girl names I went and on with ignoring the barrage of comments.

Didn’t my first pregnancy teach me anything? I was the opposite, all you a-holes! The girl hormone was on my side!!

So on Nov. 10, armed with that almost scientific insight, I gave birth to my son, Louis Augustus.

Majandra Delfino Blog Friends with the Better Lives Courtesy Majandra Delfino

– Majandra Delfino

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Showing 59 comments

NickyAngel on

Beautiful family. Cecilia is her mom’s spitting image :-)

Abbie on

Love you Majandra! I am a huge Roswell fan. Thank You for this blog. We are so hard one woman especially when pregnant. I do not understand the way we judge each other and the worse part is so many woman do it to other woman.

Looking forward to more of your posts!

4mom on

Love this! When I was pregnant with my first child she was breech so I had tons of ultrasounds. We knew without a doubt she was a girl.

When I was 8 months pregnant an older woman walks up to me at a restaurant and tells me I am having a boy. I said no it’s a girl. She proceeds to tell me that this is what she does and she is never wrong. (Well except that one time, but really it didn’t count.) I kept saying that I had proof she was a girl but she just talked right over me like I wasn’t even there.

Finally she gives me her number and says to call her when I have that boy. I lost the number but I always wished I had kept it when I gave birth 3 weeks later to my daughter.

Pixy14 on

I looked better pregnant with my daughter than i did with my son, lol! I had severe pre e with my son and swelled beyond recognition. With my daughter I literally only gained “baby weight” all out front. Stupid wives tales…

Kristin on

I had two girls and looked completely different with each. I only got a belly with my first baby. I didn’t really gain weight anywhere else. With my second, I got huge everywhere. I, too, am proof that gender doesn’t have anything to do with it.

Loved your blog but be ready for all those celebrity bashers you are going to get. Even when you write a blog about treating people with respect you will have commenters that will try to tear you down. Just ignore them!!! They aren’t worth your time.

Jessica on

Love this post. She’s hilarious! I’ve loved her since Roswell and have all the seasons on DVD.

She speaks the truth with women bashing other women who are pregnant bit- it was awful for me too! And it’s a mystery as to why~ so many of us have gone through it, why can’t we just be nice & supportive towards one another?

Anonymous on

Great post, loved reading it.

Sarah on

I had my first baby in September and didn’t find out what we were having. The twist was that dad knew and managed to keep the secret the whole time.

Like you, I didn’t gain much weight outside of my stomach, and not a single person guessed I was having a girl. Random people at restaurants, the coffee shop (in my case tea) lady, the dry cleaning lady and everyone else I met along the way all made comments about the little boy I had on the way – did we have a name picked out, he can be an athlete because you’re both tall, etc.

As much as I tried not to let it, it started to influence clothing and decorating choices. I was fascinated by the reason behind everyone’s assumption so I understand you 100%.

In the end, all the friends and relatives and strangers on the street were right as we welcomed a beautiful little boy in September.

Anonymous on

Beautiful family! How is Louis pronounced? Like Lu-is or Lu-ee?

Tracy on

Great blog! Enjoyed it very much. I was terribly sick w/my son & gained ALOT of weight. Much different w/my daughter. Total opposite.

I do worry about the world my daughter will have to grow up in. Women are so hard on each other & unfortunately it starts at a young age. There are a lot of unhappy, miserable people out there who love nothing more then trying to tear other people down.

Shia on

AMAZING POST!!! I look forward to more – don’t be deterred by the lack of comments on the baby posts. WordPress is way more annoying to comment with than Disqus so people don’t comment on these as much!

Loved Roswell BTW.

Janey on

The woman who ran the Greek place was convinced, utterly CONVINCED my twins were boys. ADAMANT! Nope, girls!

Arvada on

“That means everyone and I mean EVERYONE has something to say (and feels they MUST say) about how you look, what you’re having, how you’re going to deliver it and then right back to how you look.”

Please don’t flatter yourself. The vast majority of people couldn’t care less that you are pregnant. I’m so sick of all this “acknowledge my pregnancy and give me special treatment but HERE ARE THE THINGS YOU ARE NOT PERMITTED TO SAY TO ME!” nonsense.

If someone tells you you look great, just appreciate that they’re trying to make polite conversation and move along. Get over yourself.

thenamestation on

I have so much adoration for this post. Too many women are afraid to talk about feminism for fear of being attacked by other women. I could not agree more and think that both Cecelia and Louis are beyond lucky to have such an intelligent and insightful mom!!

Jenn on

When I was prego with my first son, we didn’t find out the sex either. I work in a dental office. A patient said to me, “You must be having a girl because your face is fat.”

Wtf.

lola on

Their daughter is beautiful!! I love her dress.

Shay on

Hi! Just wanted to say that I’ve read so many of these celebrity baby blogs on People, and this one is most honest and funniest. Keep up the great work! And never lose that sense of humour! Shay

Pam on

I got a lot of dirty looks from women while I was pregnant, so much so that I felt like yelling at all of them. You are already pretty self conscious about how you look, having gained a huge amount of weight in such a short time. I don’t understand why people aren’t nicer, you are growing a life inside you, it’s tough. Pregnant women deserve respect. I also wish that everybody wouldn’t try to talk to or touch your baby when you go out.

Ari on

Loved her on Roswell, glad to see she’s got a new show out. What an adorable family! Can’t wait to read these blogs!

DustiesMum on

Naturally, while I was expecting, everyone had to regale me with their pregnancy horror stories (like I really wanted to hear them!). Thankfully, my own pregnancy was textbook perfect – no real morning sickness to speak of, had tons of energy, glossy hair and wonderful skin….. sigh….. Now, 25 years later, I hope my daughter is so blessed when it’s her turn. :)

Ellie on

Don’t focus on what people say to you when your pregnant. Just be grateful you are pregnant, many of us cannot get pregnant and would delight in the very thought of being pregnant. Focus on your gratitude of this wonderful being inside of you.

nancy on

Well try being an infertile person who constantly asked why you dont have children.

Try being an adoptive parent who gets asked why you dont have children of your own.

Try being the parent of 1 child and being asked why you dont have more.

misapb on

There are so many couples struggling with infertility and you write a blog about how awful it is that people comment on the gender of your healthy baby? Try humility and grace next time. It is much more becoming than sarcasm and entitlement.

Melissa on

To the last few commenters – way to COMPLETELY miss the point. The blog is about the way people speak to and about women. Which you would have realized if you weren’t so reactionary and defensive. Breathe! It’s all good.

Show was hilarious tonight, Majandra. Loved it.

Ski12 on

This is the stupidest, most vapid thing I’ve ever read. I can’t believe she went on and on and on on such a nonissue. Maybe it was just to talk over and over about “beautiful” people told her she was when she was pregnant? Get a life, for real. So laughable.

Katherine on

Majandra is gorgeous. She reminds me a lot of Jessica Alba and her daughter Cecilia is beautiful and looks like Jessica’s daughter Honor :)

nancy on

Melissa….everybody has a different perspective of what she was saying..why assume that yours is the correct one.

Those comments i listed were from women to me.

Women flock to pregnant women. Women go on and on about being pregnant but ignore the adoptive mothers stories.

KC on

About A Boy is an awesome show! Great writing, great actors and hilarious! David Walton = HOT

Elara on

I had total strangers make similar comments. I just told them “Since you don’t even know my name, my pregnancy and my baby are none of your business.”

Cindy on

So true. Too many people women bash each other. I have four kids and carried each differently. With my daughters which I had an uncomfortable time but at skin, nails, and hair all looked great. But I lost most of my hair with my boys and 15 years later it all has not grown back. But hey at least I didn’t puke when I was pregnant. Guess that was God’s trade off.

PoorME! on

This whole blog was a backwards and repetitive way for this woman to compliment herself. Was it really so difficult looking good while pregnant? Try connecting with your readers and either be positive, or, if you’re going to complain, make it something worthwhile. How shallow. Get over yourself.

Joy on

I think because all ur weight was in ur tummy that made people assume its a boy! Don’t think they were insulting u. I hate to agree awful blog very shallow.

Dee on

I guess that when people see a pregnant woman, they recognize the joy of the event and feel compelled to comment. I have never understood though the tendency to make stupid and/or uncaring comments to expectant mothers.

Everybody has a story, whether it is about the gender, their own delivery, some horrendous tale they read about in the National Enquirer…they all have one.

I have always kept those confusing and irritating encounters in mind and been super aware of not doing the same thing to another woman.

Jen on

Roswell was my fav show as a young adult. I can’t wait to start watching her Friends with Better Lives. I wish her all the best her beautiful family.

silly on

The women who approached me had the same comments…I was having a girl, but they all insisted on a boy. In at least some cases, it was clear that the other women had girls (and we know 2/3rds of pregnancies are girls) and were jealous that they didn’t look the same while pregnant.

This is not an attack on those women…pregnancy is difficult no matter what you look like when you carry (unless you’re lucky or in denial). I’ve just noticed it seems to be a crutch for some women to give a reason for why their bodies are in their current states…must have been that baby girl!

Lacey on

So long and rambling I couldn’t even finish reading it.

Maria on

I’ve had 2 of each gender in the order of girl, boy, girl, boy. My boys were MUCH kinder to my body than my girls were. With my girls, I gained a MINIMUM of 20 lbs more than I did with my boys(weight gained: 63 lbs-girl, 30 lbs-boy, 52 lbs-girl, 32 lbs-boy). I also had much worse nausea w/ my girls than my boys.

I say this to say, everyone is different, but I did look like crap w/ my girl pregnancies & not as much w/ my boys.

Carrie on

Wow, there are a couple cretins commenting that COMPLETELY missed the point of this post. There is no reason to sit there and one up eachother and call someone selfish for writing about her own pregnancy experiences just because someone else doesn’t/can’t have children!

Her experiences are hers alone and it is not your right to label them as invalid. YOU ARE THE PROBLEM.

Amy on

Did I just read an entire piece was about how beautiful this woman is???

Amy on

An entire blog dedicated to how great she looks no matter what the circumstance…

Kat on

This is all so right and so true.

Catca on

Majandra,

Loved your post! I had a boy and had pre-e so I had the opposite problem where I had to hear literally every day about how bad I looked because of the swelling from the pre-e. I also gave birth to a little boy slightly premature at 36 weeks who weighed 9 lbs 1 oz and was 22 inches long which is enormous for a preemie! Yes, like you, I popped almost immediately.

I’ll also tell you one of the things I loved most about your post was your story about the author. It’s refreshing to hear another woman recognize that not only are women and society to hard on women, but some women in reaction to that develop unrealistic expectations as a result. You’re so right, women need to simply focus on being the best they can be and stop justifying what they do and how they do it.

Saraheee on

I just have to say, yes there are women who struggle with fertility and some who will never have children. But I do not think it is fair to completely disregard her experience because she might have it better than someone else. She was writing about HER experience.

Can’t we all just respect each other’s experiences? She wasn’t bashing anyone.

Stephanie on

I was glowing with my 1st (a boy) and I was so sick with my 2nd (a girl). I carried the same so everyone assumed I was having another boy. EVERYONE!

Of course Brenna had to hold her legs tightly closed so we weren’t sure BUT from 6 weeks on with both pregnancies I KNEW what I was having so I would just laugh it off! I did have a big smile on my face when it was a girl and I could say “told you so!!!”

Every pregnancy is different, I wish people would get that!!!

Deanna on

I’m actually super happy that you chose to write about this for your first posting! I just had my first baby (a boy) on Thanksgiving this past year.

People ALWAYS have something to say! I cannot tell you how many times I heard what I was having (aparently there are more psychics in the world than we knew) and how all I had was a “belly” but everything else stayed the same.

People almost make you feel bad about it, like we’re supposed to get GIGANTIC when we’re pregnant (and I was ok with gaining as much weight as I was going to, because this was my time to eat!!). I’ll tell you this… I was sooo over the moon about being pregnant and all I wanted was for the baby to be healthy.

I ate the good things you’re supposed to eat, but I also ate tons of baked goods (one of the few cravings I had). So although I did not gain a ton of weight other than “my belly” (which honestly was so far from the truth- as I knew my body was not the same), somehow people turned it negative- like I needed to eat more or something?! I was like “HELLO??? I ate about 5 cookies today, a cheeseburger for dinner… some fries…) haha.

It’s just amazing how people always need to put their 2 cents in! All I cared about was being happy and enjoying being pregnant. My healthy baby boy was 7lbs 9oz and I could not be happier!

Don’t listen to what others have to say about your body when you’re pregnant- it’s yours- OWN IT! :)

Amy on

Nice blog! I looked the same with both of my girls and I LOVE THEM!

ava on

This was so fun to read! I am cracking up.

And to the people saying all she did was talk about how beautiful she is–when you are pregnant, it is true! I didn’t think she was bragging about her beauty. It’s just a common occurrence for pregnant women to attract people to comment, and most of those comments are about how beautiful the pregnant woman is.

Elaine on

“Do unto others as you would have them do to you” solves 95% of situations [the other 5% is personal preference: sweet or spicy]. If we practice celebrating good, we will be looking for it! So, SMILE! Start in the mirror.

MajandraForPresident on

Thank you for blogging about an important topic and not just shallow nonsense like oh today I farted and my husband heard it, I don’t know whether that’s gonna fly.

Melissa on

We found out what we were having right away. Both my husband and I wanted a girl. No one could believe it. They would whisper to my husband, you really want a boy right? No one could actually imagine that we would actually desire a girl!

When we found out that we were indeed having a girl, my husband’s best friend actually said “I guess that’s okay too.” My daughter is the most beautiful, smart, funny, and wonderful child. I can’t say the same thing about some of my friend’s boys.

wymom2003 on

Aww, I didn’t know that was her husband! Cute family!!

HBTV on

I never knew these two were together! I love them both, and think they’re great actors and their family is beautiful!

Christine on

Thank You Majandra for writing on a topic that needs more attention… and you did so with truth and intelligence.

JUJU2014 on

I’m going through the same thing…gained weight in all the wrong places, and of course no big belly, just bit a**, and everyone feels entiteled to let me know I’m having a girl, when in fact I’m having a boy ( 1000% sure, we checked about 5x)

Angie on

Majandra looks like Jessica Alba, her post is interesting, good job.

Susan on

Seriously doubt people came up to you every 5 seconds to comment on you. You’re really full of yourself. Having a child is the most important thing you’ll ever do, but keep it real, you’re not the first one to give birth.

Denae on

She seems high on herself and unnecessarily bitter. Yuck. Waste of time.

HoleinOne on

I loved reading your blogs! I am currently 8 months along with my 2nd. #1 is my little man and this time I am having a little princess. I am the same as you in that I haven’t gained weight anywhere but my belly. My butt and everywhere else look the same as they did before either pregnancy. The resentment I seem to get from other people is that I am “so tiny”. Is the baby growing okay in there? YES, SHE IS, as if it’s really their business? Just because I haven’t gone out and eaten anything and everything and doubled the size of my butt doesn’t mean I don’t have a healthy baby growing inside me. WTF?

Anyway, I look forward to reading more of your blogs!

J on

Sorry (not really), stopped reading when you felt text spelling was appropriate for professional editorializing. This is turning into a society of idiots…ugh.

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