With my girl – Courtesy Elisabeth Röhm
Röhm is currently guest-starring on Beauty and the Beast.
Her book, Baby Steps: Having the Child I Always Wanted (Just Not As I Expected), was released last April.
In her latest blog, Röhm — mom to 5½-year-old Easton August with fiancé Ron Anthony — takes a step back and realizes it’s time to start taking care of herself again.
You ever feel like your socks have holes where the heels used to be from running around so much? Or that even though you sprayed perfume on this morning before hitting the road for school drop-off that you smell kind of musty? And that despite your attempt at keeping up appearances, that you just don’t have the time to stay on top of your expressive style?
I know, I hear you saying, “Yeah right, whatever actress-mom! You get to wear Marchesa and the like.” But seriously, I was laughing last month at the SAG Awards when an actress was referring to her oh-so-lovely rent-a-princess getup, saying that Cinderella needed to return her princess appearance by noon the next day. “Me too!” I replied. And we laughed at the fantasy.
Don’t get me wrong. It’s a blast getting to play dress up from time to time for work. It is definitely one of the perks, as I do love fashion and beauty. Who doesn’t? We all want to be pureeety!
SAGs red carpet from my point of view - John Shearer/Invision for PEOPLE Magazine/AP
But what of real life? I’ve just never related to the seriously put-together mama teetering on heels in the playground. How do they do it? I think most moms will relate to the absence of direction in their wardrobe and overall look they’ve got going on.
I wrote a blog after Easton was born promising myself that I’d stop wearing long shirts that cover my butt and huge wrap sweaters that resemble blankets with ballet slippers. Hey, I’m going for comfort not sex appeal. Seriously though, it’s really a look that had to go.
I did good for a while, but lately as I’ve been running around like a mad woman getting back into the swing of things with work, I’ve noticed that I’m letting myself go a bit again. Is anyone available for a mommy makeover? I’m ready.
In the swing of things – Courtesy Elisabeth Röhm
Dye this hair, whack it off and give me some pretty new shoes. I need Tom Ford to get a hold of me, shake it up and help me go from 2001 to 2014. It’s hard to keep up, right ladies?
And despite our circumstances, we never want to say no to our kids!
Ron cast a look at me the other day as Easton and I came home with shopping bags from the GAP Kids like, “Really? Does she really need anything new?” The answer is yes! Forget you and me, Ron. We’re here to serve and protect! We’ll just wear our holey socks and college sweaters. I’m cool with that. Aren’t you?!!
On the other hand, it’s true I might need a few new things to update the ever-ticking clock. Not to mention he could use new eyeglasses. Maybe ones that aren’t crooked. Mind you, they used to look cool.
Golden Globes glam – Imeh Akpanudosen/Getty
The guys can relate too, although, it’s definitely the moms overspending on the kids! Hey look, it happens when you are tending to someone else more than to your own self-pride.
However, yes Ron, why do we walk around like eccentric people in ill-fitting clothing while our kid is sporting the latest everything?! What are we trying to prove? It’s just like a scene from Wisteria Lane. And darn it, I might need a wrecking crew to step in and help me start from scratch.
Send in the mommy rescue team to all my moms out there who need a little makeover, PEOPLE.com. It’s time for a revolution!
Honestly though, it has been a busy time as a mom. I’m getting my sea legs under me, what with juggling Easton’s needs and going back to work with more fervor than I have had since she was born. She and I are hanging in there.
Onstage with the American Hustle cast – we won Best Picture! – Kevork Djansezian/Getty
I remember before my mom passed away, she said to me, “Don’t quit acting. I know you want to be with your baby all the time, but they grow up so fast and then you’ll have to start all over again.” I feel like there was truth in that statement. I’m glad I always kept a toe in the biz.
Now that I’m immersing myself in work again like the days of old, we are as a family discovering what it’s like for Mom to be working more. Like Easton’s friends’ moms, I actually have a schedule these days. It’s been a bit bumpy, but overall Easton gets it; She is having a blast doing her own thing too, as long as I’m there most of the time. It’s doable!
I’m coming out of my muumuu now that Easton’s days are getting busier. She’s got a schedule of her own: what with school, activities and play dates. Suddenly I’m noticing myself again. It’s like, “Oh hi, you’re still here?!”
Little equestrian – Courtesy Elisabeth Röhm
Mom was right — you find that you are reacquainting yourself with yourself as your kids grow up. Now that Easton is finding her own identity, it is time for me to redefine my own. With this reinvention comes the recognition that although you love meeting everyone’s needs, that you might still have a few of your own.
Not to mention, you can’t go to a meeting in the rent-the-princess-runway look or your mommy get-up, so it might be time to put the credit card down when you want to buy your darlings their third pair of sneakers and find that it’s okay to invest in yourself too.
Well, I guess you could say Easton and I are on a path of discovery. And so time and again as we come back to ourselves; gently or not so gently we are reminded that we have a personality, dreams, needs and even a desire to be attractive and feel fresh again.
What a night – Emily Shur for PEOPLE
I can only brace myself for the next time this happens. Like when she’s actually REALLY too busy for me and I’m knocking at her door asking her to come out and talk. But, we’ll keep those wolves at bay for a while. Baby No. 2?
So, I say get out of those old shoes and sweatpants and give yourself some dancing space to be YOU.
Until next time,
– Elisabeth Röhm