Tori Spelling: Why I’m Overprotective of Finn

12/09/2013 at 01:00 PM ET

Tori Spelling Secret Santa Workshop
Tiffany Rose/WireImage

Considering Finn Davey is her fourth child, you would think Tori Spelling might relax a bit and not worry so much about his safety and well-being.

But in fact, it’s the opposite — perhaps because his health was never a given.

“[My husband] Dean [McDermott] says I’m actually more protective of Finn than I was of the other three,” Spelling, 40, told PEOPLE during the 3rd Annual Santa’s Secret Workshop, which benefited L.A. family housing, in West Hollywood on Saturday.

“Because of what Finn and I went through medically — it was a rough pregnancy — I may not consciously know it, but at home I’m usually behind him going, ‘Wha! Wha! Wha!’ And Dean is like, ‘Please stop gasping!’ ”

But whatever the psychological effects of that pregnancy — she had placenta previa and underwent emergency surgery after the delivery due to c-section complications — Spelling points out that Finn is also just naturally rambunctious and needs someone watching him extra closely.

“He’s our little bruiser of the family. Liam‘s our ham, but Finn is running and terrorizing everything,” the upcoming Tori & Dean: Cabin Fever star says. “Liam was a super mellow baby and with Finn, if you turn around for one second, his finger is in the socket and he’s pulling the blinds around himself. He is that kid.”

Spelling — who in addition to Finn, 15 months, and Liam, 6½, is also mom to daughters Hattie Margaret, 2, and Stella Doreen, 5½ — adds that her sleep schedule is still crazy thanks to her toddlers.

“It’s really difficult right now,” she says. “The babies are only 10 months apart, and they’re both still waking up at night. We have different sleeping schedules.”

She adds, “It’s really tough, but we love every second of it. Maybe if I’m lucky, one night a week, I get to watch some TV.”

The silver lining? The chaos is keeping her in shape!

“I don’t have time to go to the gym,” she says with a laugh. “I have four kids that are six and under! I literally wake up at 6 a.m. and I don’t stop until they go to bed at night. Then I have a blog to write and businesses to run. I don’t stop, so I think that’s what keeps me in shape.”

— Tim Nudd with reporting by Reagan Alexander

Video Flashback: Tori Spelling Is Enjoying Motherhood

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Showing 94 comments

Dixie on

15 and 2 years old still not sleeping through the night? Sounds like some sleep training is needed!!! They should be sleeping through the night.

Dixie on

correction: 15 months and 2 years old…

Mandy on

Didn’t she say in another article or in her book that she basically doesn’t eat? I’m confused.

Anonymous on

What she really means is that she doesn’t MAKE time to EAT!

Liz on

Im sorry, I find this woman and the life she attempts to sell to the public BS. Its a great story, two soul mates and an adorable family. I feel its all an act for ratings. I understand needing to pay the bills and doing whatever that takes, but its sad and even more sad that that the public buys it..

Sandra Stout on

one of my children had a very difficult birth (a one minute APGAR score of 2) and I felt overprotective for years – plus in a way I am always aware that we almost lost him.

Zaria on

@ Dixie…do you never wake up at night? I know the answer is “no” so how do you expect a toddler not to? Babies wake up for all sorts of reasons (including night terrors) so no amount of sleep training is going to guarantee sleeping through the night.

Mamascarlett on

after such a scare emotionally it is to almost lose a baby, it is very common to bed share, or simply not believe in sleep training. As an experienced mother she probably knows that the night waking phase will pass. If she and her spouse are ok with it, it’s not harming anyone.
If you want to sleep train, sleep train. Don’t critique other moms for not doing it.

4mom on

Thanks Dixie for your wonderful advice. As the mother of four myself I can tell you it is not that simple. My last two are 14 months apart and sometimes the 3 year old still comes and gets me up in the night. The 2 year old is in a crib and right now sleeps all night. That could change tomorrow. Every child has a different personality and a different way of coping with situations. My oldest and youngest would literally cry until they threw up. It didn’t matter how we tried to train them. My husband and I have laid in the floor, across the foot of the bed, anywhere it was required, and we have fell asleep countless times. I think the point you miss is that she is not complaining, she is coping as a parent. None of us is perfect, and yes I have done things I swore I never would just so we could all get some sleep. It is easy to judge a situation when you aren’t in it.

Jenn on

Yah, the kids and that special “shut your **cking mouth and eat air diet”

Christine on

I put money on a nanny. I think this woman and her husband are frauds..

Melody on

I can completely understand how she feels about being overprotective of Finn as well. My DS is 17 months and I had a rough pregnancy as well and hes so outgoing and I am just super cautious but we live and learn. @Dixie, there is nothing wrong with children not sleeping all night at those ages. My 17 month old doesnt sleep all nite either. I dont do or believe in “sleep training”. Guess what, my 14 year old was the same way and he sleeps all night and in his own bed and has since he was about 2.5- 3 yrs old. Each child is different.

Anonymous on

Tori Spelling is so very unatrractive….eeewwww. Nice skeletor, botoxed, plastic looking face.

Connie on

Wow there are some really nasty haters here. Let’s see, when I did my college interview, first job interview and subsequent interviews since then, I don’t believe I’ve ever been asked at what age I slept throgh the night, was I breastfeed, or at what age was I potty-trained. Come on ladies/moms, it isn’t a contest to see who has the most achievements by the age of 4 or what parent gets the best parent award. Her children seem well adjusted and bonded as a family. That is a sign that however they chose to raise their children it is there business.

alexandra on

To those that do not have any kids, remember this. YOU ARE A PERFECT PARENT UNTIL YOU BECOME A PARENT. As a mother of two I am telling you it’s not that easy, every child is different.

seriously? on

Doesn’t go to the gym, doesn’t eat, gets plastic surgery….take your pick.

Mary on

Every pregnancy is different, my first one slept through the night at a month, my second threw up daily for 5 months and didn’t sleep through the night for 7 months, third, was a blur, all are over thirty and healthy and happy. Finn and Hattie are just babies.

guest123 on

She conveniently forgot to mention the nannies. It just seems most of interviews ending up being a….woe is me.

Liz on

My 2 yr old doesn’t sleep through the night either. Kinda hard to CIO with 3 other babies in the house. I loved her reality show, wish they’d bring it back.

SheCanAffordHelp on

So does she or the child have emotional or developmental problems she refuses to address?

Chihuahua Mom on

Are those kids WEARING MAKEUP?

Emily Grosvenor on

Why are these children wearing lipstick?

carol on

Every child is a blessing ,Tori seems smart so why in the world was she not carefull to get pregnant so soon bound for some problems….Best of luck!!!

fanofboardwalkempire on

I just love Tori and her family and hope that she will start getting sleep soon. Everyone needs their sleep!

Charli Mabriel on

I really appreciate Tori sharing her feelings & I can appreciate how she feels.

My daughter, completely healthy & happy now, had health issues & spent a total of 2 months of her first year of life in the hospital. An outsider would definitely think she is spoiled but really unless you experience that you can’t understand how fragile that child seems to you. I still follow her around w/ a thermometer & take her to the Dr. probably way too much. I feel for every parent out there that has ever gone through this.

Sam on

Tori, please don’t forget that Hattie is still a baby too. She only had one month as a new born before you were pregnant again. Then as a baby, younger then Finn is now, she wasn’t ‘the baby of the family any more’. You were away from her in the hospital because of your illness. That is kind of sad. Sure hope there are no favourites between the two babies. I feel kind of bad for baby Hattie.
Best wishes to you and all 5 of the McDermott children. 🙂

Laura Conway on

Dixie, do not judge mothers. I bet you’re perfect, right? You don’t know their reasons for parenting style or sleep training. You are pathetic passing judgment.

erin d on

dixie, you sound like a complete dumbass. There are many reasons why toddlers do not sleep through out the night. My baby, in particular, has severe reflux and will wake up at different times during the night.

Anonymous on

I total understand what she means I had 2 babies born premies and had a similar circumstances. I do notice that my 2nd oldest is a bundle of joyful ness, more busy then the rest, I hope the negative comments don’t make her not share I actually find it nice to know as others have some same things

madame tina on

Reblogged this on Food Spells and commented:
Αυτά τα Χριστούγεννα, εκτός από τις συνταγές, να δώσουμε αγάπη, φροντίδα και τρόφιμα σε όσους το έχουν ανάγκη. Το φαγητό είναι αγάπη και γίνεται πιο γλυκό όταν το μοιραζόμαστε…

Anonymous on

Look at how much make up those two little girls are wearing!!

Anonymous on

Those little girls are sure wearing a lot of makeup…wow!!

ceecee on

wow only 10 months apart….Hattie had to grow up way too fast, didn’t have much baby time of her own……she is the one that would need extra TLC hope she gets it… fact the oldest is still so young……thats a lot of babies that need special time with their mom and dad.

Margo on

I’m sure Tori is a great mother, but I’ve always wondered if Hattie has felt a little left out since Tori did have such a rough pregnancy and she is so overprotective of Finn…

Sam on

Yes, I agree. Hattie was a ‘big’ sister before she was a year old. During Tori’s rough pregnancy and while she was in the hospital with Finn, who was loving and bonding with baby Hattie? Even in this picture she looks so tiny standing there like the big girl she is not. 4 children under 6, Finn is only one of 4 that need Tori’s TLC. Not easy, but easier if you spread the love and attention amongst the 4.

SouthernProb on

lol are they wearing makeup!?!

meghan on

Such a phony.

liz on

Tori, time to shut your hole. You admitted to another mag that you’re a liar because you starve yourself to stay thin. Gross.

Also, you aren’t running behind those kids. You have FOUR nannies. 1, 2, 3, 4, aka one for each child. In reality you are no better than your own mother.

Lisa on

Maybe she should be a little more overprotective of her older daughter. That’s a lot of makeup for a little girl. Also? Being gaunt is not “in shape”.

Bri on

Her girls are adorable. Her boys are very homely looking though.

stacey on

The kids are cute, especially the little girls. I don’t think it’s that big of a deal that they are wearing blush and lipstick…..I probably wouldn’t of let my daughters at that age, but whatever. Glad to see she FINALLY fixed Stella’s hair though.

Cheryl on

I agree with Dixie. I have 4 kids as well, the youngest being 3, and none of them were still waking at night after the age of 1. It’s all in how you parent. If they WANT to get up every night til the kids go to college, go for it, but not this girl!

Leslie on

@Dixie… not all moms want robots for babies!! I once worked for a woman who had a 6 month old that was sleep trained AND eating trained. Poor little thing was so unhappy.. I never once saw him smile!

Amaryllis on

Time to get your tubes tied!

Chouchou on

OMG Her daughters have red lipstick!!!

salli on

those girls are wearing lipstick! How f-ing creepy is that? YUCK

Alaska Annie on

I love Tori and Dean and their family. I am not one who obsessively follows any celebrity’s life, but there is something genuine about Tori’s family. I know people swear she has help/nannies–good for her! I wish I had the same resources available to me that she does–I’m certainly not going to begrudge her. And to those who criticize Tori (and every celebrity) for her quotes: She is asked a question. She is probably asked A LOT of questions about her kids (since–gasp–she is obviously very proud of them). She answers those questions. When we read an article, we are reading just a snippet of her responses. I don’t immediately jump to the conclusion that she (or any celebrity) is whining. A little more positivity, folks.

Heather on

I can relate. I have twin toddlers, I don’t hardly have time to eat, haven’t been able to go on a bike ride in 2 years or play much tennis. If I try to watch my a tv show, I am persuaded to turn it to Sprout TV!

TTD on

Yawn!!. Slow news day, People???

Jen on

LOVE her and her family! 🙂 I miss her show and wish they’d bring it back.

Haters to the left.

sara on

@Dixie children can have many reasons for not sleeping through the night. My niece is 4 years and sometimes she does not sleep through the night. Her reasons vary greatly too.

Lou on

Being over protective is Tori’s excuse for favoritism towards Finn.

She’s going to regret it later.

happy on

I think she seems to be a very good mom and wife and that’s all that matters. They all seem happy.

melissa on

i ruly just cannot get over the hateful and ignorant comments! (A) sleeping habits are never guarnteed no omatter hwo much “training” you do! there are all sorts of fctors that can contribute to a child waking up in the middle of the night my daughter has horrible night terrors & sleep walks – she is 8 yrs old! (B) it isnt unheard of to have large families w/ kids all around the same ages … i meanmost of our own mothers/grandmothers probably came from or had large families themselves! my mom is 1 of 6 the first 5 are all 2 yrs apart! my moms eldest sister has 7 kids 1 brother has 5 kids … i know someone who’s grandmother was 1 of 13 kids! & (C) OMG noooo not make-up on little girls!!!!! again is it THAT uncommon???? my daughter has been playing w/ makeup since she was like 2 yrs old! … my God people get off your high horses! these are KIDS let them be KIDS! just because you as a parent dont want to actually parent your cild & you want to force them to grow up too soon doesnt mean the rest of us moms want that! i enjoy having a child who i want to be a child for as long as possible! what does he world have to offer that is so great that we have to force our kids to grow up???? the world is a cold cruel place

Amanda on

So simple Dixie, you must have lots of experience with all sorts of different babies!
I have 4 kids, my oldest was sleeping through the night by 3 months…I didn’t do anything different with my younger 3 and they didn’t sleep through the night until 1-2 years old. My 7 year old didn’t sleep through the night at all until 2 and she still wakes from time to time. She had/has acid reflux and has trouble sleeping. My 4 year old had frequent ear infections. There are all sorts of reasons why babies wake up and ‘sleep training’ is nothing more than teaching them you don’t care if they need help during certain hours of the day.

Debra on

are they planning another reality show? How many before this one has failed? Enough already.

Big Fan on

If you hate her why be so nasty, just don’t click on the article, it’s that simple. DUH. She’s more real than all the other weirdos out there!

Kica on

Cute story, but why are those little girls wearing red lipstick??? Let kids be kids please.

Curly Sue on

Are her little girls wearing lipstick just like Mommy? That just creeps me out!

NoelNoel on

I hope most people here have the perfect look and are the perfect parent and have the perfect marriage and live a perfect life….
I would pray for all of you but since you’re so perfect, I guess I should be praying TO YOU.

Ris on

I used to watch her show but don’t like her anymore for a lot of reasons. When I saw this pic,I felt worried about liam. His face is swollen like a sick kid. His body is skinny. Hopefully he’s okay but that was my first thought…although of he was sick I’m sure she would day interviews immediately for sympathy.

Maire on

I think it’s wrong to show favoritism to one child for what ever reason you are doing it.

Sam on

Agreed. In their earlier shows Tori hardly bothered with Liam. Now its poor little Hattie. Four babies in 5 years, they ALL still need their mom to fuss over them. Take some time out from holding cuddling admiring Finn and give that attention to your 3 other babies.

Mrs. Winkler on

OMG!!! What is up w/the stark RED lipstick on those young girls? They are way too young to be wearing that type of stuff, there are so many better ways to make your babies look adorable and dark, red lipstick isn’t IT! Tori Spelling is so ignorant and tries WAY too hard. She is so trashy, and how much more can she exploit those kids, ugh!!!!

Mrs. Winkler on

She doesn’t appear to be a very good mother to that whole brood of kids…she really is trying her hardest to exploit them. UGH, I cannot stand Tori Spelling, she is trashy, stuck up and ignorant.

Marie on

I understand completely. I had pre-eclampsia & HELLP & had a DS born @ 30 wks. & 3 days & twins now 1, born @ 34 weeks. I am very protective.
My 1 year old twins don’t usually sleep through the night either & my TV is way behind. 🙂

Amanda B on

I never understand these celebrity mothers that drag their kids to all these events. And they all sit there and say “my kids love it!” Look at that poor girls face on the right. She looks miserable. These kids didn’t chose this life, the parents did. Quite being stage moms and leave your children at home, doing kid things, not adult things.

Wendy on

Why is a 5 year old, let alone a 2 year old wearing makeup?

AmandaC on

I’m so happy to see an updated picture of all the kids, they are beautiful! Stella is transforming into a beautiful little lady, not that she wasn’t adorable already. Haddie & Finn are cutie pies and Liam looks like a little man. Such a cute family!

Anonymous on

Is Stella really wearing red lipstick ?!?

Dorie on

Those young girls are wearing RED lipstick…wow! She dressed them WAY too mature for their age too.

lovely123 on

I couldn’t even get past the first paragraph – what is up with RED LIPSTICK on her two girls? I didn’t know she was related to the Kartrashians.

Lolo on

I get that the girls probably wanted to be like mommy with the lipstick but put a little cherry chapstick or something…not vampy red lipstick. It sexualizes them way too much and they are way too little. Tori is just fake fake fake all the way around…can’t really believe anything she says and her kids always looks sad.

Anonymous on

cute kids!

g on

I love how you she is overprotective of one…but the girls are in full makeup! I am not against makeup for dance recitals or pageants, but everyday? You may say this is a red carpet event…but I still am a bit confused…red lipstick? They have many years ahead to get all dolled up…I say keep it age appropriate. And yes I have girls and they have worn makeup but only for the events listed above…and to play…but never when we leave the house.

Brit on

Is no one going to comment on the fact that Finn is “sticking his finger in the socket?” Ummm…isn’t time to childproof the house after FOUR kids???? Safety first!!!

veronica cervantes on

Do the Girls have on lipstick?
I just don’t like her.

Bee on

The girls are far too young to be wearing lipstick. That’s not cute at all, it’s very tacky!

Terri on

Beautiful family.


What is wrong with Tori’s throat in the picture…Looks like a large lump?

Shannon on

The ONLY thing I would complain about is the bright red lisptick on a 5 year old. But maybe that’s just me 😉

Becky on

I miss their show. I really enjoyed the look into their lives each week. Hope they have a new show soon.

Jazz on

I dont understand why she dyes the kids’ hair. If you google pics of the kids when the were smaller you will notice they all had brownish hair, but these more recent pics show all the kids with platinum blond hair. You dont put chemicals on a chid’s hair its dangerous.

amybolgan96 on

She is a PHONY with a capital P!! Give me a break please. She has people do everything for her and Dean is just along for the ride!! $$$! Wake up people!

Lori on

What on earth is growing out of Tori’s neck?

Cami on

You sleep training people make me sick. Children are people too. Quit being bullies.

me on

I’m happy for Tori, being mommy is a hard but very fulfilling job. The kids are cute. On a side note, I know these stories are about Tori and not really Dean, but I always feel a bit bad when it’s not mentioned that these children have an older (half-) sibling… He is their blood and deserves to be included when listing the children…

commenter on

I think Tori is pretty real and she is creative with her money and connections to make more money. She is not lazy, that’s for sure. She could have just sat back after her Dad passed away and collected interest off her inheritence but she really didn’t do that. Yeah, ok, her kids get the best parties because she can afford them and I’m jealous I can’t do that. But she uses her head for ideas on how to make money and she shouldn’t be cut down. Her kids are so cute and innocent, not brats. How many times do little girls watch their mommies getting dolled up and say they want to wear lipstick like mommy too? That’s what I believe this is about – the girls are wearing lipstick. Tori is honest about her raising her kids so that people can relate to her even the mean and naughty days that Liam had on the show. The show ISN’T Kardashian spoiled crap on TV.

Sarah on

I love Tori and her beautiful family.

Eandsmommy on

” I have a personal trainer, chef and full time nanny but I don’t know how I manage to stay in shape with four under six. Give me a break!

Anonymous on


Marilyn on

I raised my 4, was a nanny and also a foster mom, every child slept at night except for the tiny infants who stomach empty out. Her children get up because they are spoiled, OR they don’t get enough fresh air during the day OR they take late afternoon naps, OR there’s too much activity going on in the house OR the room could be too hot. I was in my early 20’s & she’s 40, I think she has phone calls and a million things going on at her house, all the time.

nunya on

Dixie are you serious?? Or just stupid?

eve on

trying to find and excuse to play favourites….Ive always felt like Tori forgot that Hattie is still a baby and needs that kind of bonding she prides she had with Finn