Busy Philipps ‘Didn’t Understand’ How She Could Love Another Baby

11/11/2013 at 03:00 PM ET

Busy Philipps Baby2Baby Gala Xavier Collin/Splash News Online

Becoming a mother for the second time wasn’t supposed to bring any surprises for Busy Philipps. The Cougar Town actress, already mom to 5-year-old daughter Birdie, had experienced firsthand the paradigm shift that greets new parents.

What she couldn’t wrap her head around is how there would be enough room in her heart to replicate that same all-encompassing affection for baby number two.

“The thing that really strikes me — and everyone told me this but I didn’t understand how it was going to work — was that my heart would expand for my second child in the same way that it did for my first,” Philipps told PEOPLE Saturday while attending the second Annual Baby2Baby Gala in Los Angeles.

“I didn’t understand how I was going to love another child as much as I loved my first.”

Fortunately for Philipps, maternal instinct and a little bundle named Cricket Pearl immediately allayed any doubts as far as this mother’s unlimited capacity to love.

“Everyone says, ‘It’ll happen, don’t worry you’ll love your second child just as much!’ And I was like, ‘I don’t know, I really like my first one!'” she says with a laugh. “But it’s been amazing. It’s very pure, she’s just a little ball of joy.”

So much so that even other people stop and take note of 4-month-old Cricket’s unfettered delight in the everyday, a trait that Philipps admits isn’t entirely hereditary.

“What’s funny is that [our] nanny said to me, ‘You must have been so happy in your pregnancy.’ And I was like, ‘No! I was really stressed out, and I cried a lot!'” she shares. “But for some reason this little girl came into the world and she just has the most joy I’ve ever seen.”

Despite discovering anew what a mother’s heart is capable of, the 34-year-old is in no rush to even contemplate testing those bounds again anytime soon.

“I feel like two girls is awesome. I wouldn’t be opposed to a third child, but I’m just one of those people that doesn’t think about that,” Philipps says. “Three girls would be amazing, two girls and a boy would be amazing — we’ll see what happens in the future.”

— Reagan Alexander

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Showing 23 comments

Valerie on

I have never understood that cliche comment of wondering if you will love your second child as much as the first. As if love has some sort of cap or limit. It is just so strange!

mamafoxof3 on

Just yesterday I was having this conversation with my daughter-in-law. She just gave birth to her second baby, and was talking about how she hadn’t felt as connected to this one during her pregnancy as she had with her first. I told her I completely understood, when I was pregnant with my second I just couldn’t believe that I’d love her as much as I did my oldest, her husband.

dneruck on

What most people don’t realize is that when you have another child the love in your family doesn’t get divided, it multiples. Yes there is another person to love, but there is another person to GIVE love as well… so it multiplies.

WonderXX on

Well said!

Anonymous on

Love….I totally went through those same feelings

mary ann on

Was Busy born under a rock? It always amazes me how the Hollywood people think – oh yeah that’s right they don’t think – I agree with Valerie – how could you come up with some sort of a cap on love – If anyone of them decided to get a real education in the “real world” they might be worth listening to.

Emma on

Obviously you thought she was worth listening to or you wouldn’t have read the story. Or did you read and comment just to be sanctimonious? That says more about your character than hers.

Lisa on

Currently pregnant with my second child. I totally feel the same way. Not because I don’t think I will love the new baby, but I just love my firstborn so much that it is crazy to think I have it in me to love that deeply and multiply it by 2.

I, too, don’t feel as strong a connection this time around but I’ve had some difficulties recently (miscarriage earlier this year, complications with this pregnancy) so that could be contributing to it. Just glad to know that I’m not alone and that the love will, once again, come naturally. 🙂

BBB on

@Valerie, it’s not that strange a feeling to wonder if you can love the next kid as much. I don’t have children but I love, love, love my eldest nephew. As more nieces and nephews have come into the picture I also like them and spend time with them but this first little guy is just so special, everything about him melts my heart. So although they’re not my children, I can definitely say that the first nephew stands out above the rest. I think many parents probably also have favorites, and I wouldn’t be surprised if most times it’s the eldest child because they were the first to open up their world to so many new experiences and feelings. There’s definitely no cap on love, like you mentioned, but the tide isn’t always the same strength.

kjc on

Lisa, I am also pregnant with my second child and feel the same. When I heard people make those types of comments before I ever had children, I thought it was ridiculous. Of course you’ll love the next child as much as the first. After I had my first, I started to understand those comments more.

We struggled for years to get pregnant the first time, I had many miscarriages. Then we welcomed our son and he is the light of my life. This second pregnancy came much easier, and as excited as I am I don’t feel as emotionally connected. My husband and I are thrilled to be expanding our family, especially after years of thinking I’d never carry a child, but I can’t help but wonder how I will love the next as much as the first. I completely understand it seems silly, but I can’t help it.

Sharon on

I felt the same way too when I was pregnant with my younger daughter. It”s totally natural when you are so wrapped up in your first child. I would joke that I’m having a sibling for my daughter, not for me. But, when my younger daughter was born I fell in love with her just as much and feel so incredibly lucky to have these 2 wonderful girls (they are 11 and 9 now).

KW on

what are these people in hollywood smoking?! they say the stupidest sh!t.

VanessaGa81 on

I also had that thought during my second pregnancy. I was so invested the first time around, so in tune with the baby in my belly. Second time around, I had a laughing, happy little toddler and I was just not as connected to the baby in my belly. Then she was horn and she just fit right in, so perfectly. Oddly, I just checked my birth certificate and I was NOT born under a rick! Weird, right?

Megan on

Oh my gosh! I know the feeling! My husband has been bringing up the possibility of a second (our daughter is 2) and I just can’t fathom how I could love anyone as much as I love my daughter. I know that I would, but it is just hard to imagine.

Ali on

Birdie and Cricket Pearl … Oh my …

rattles on

I don’t get why people are being so critical. She’s just sharing some of her thoughts and feelings she experienced during her pregnancy. I think all moms to be have these worries and concerns, it’s just that some won’t admit to them. I think Busy seems like a wonderful person and mom who loves her children very much. She’s got her head screwed on right and puts her family first. Mad props to her!

Tyler’s Mom on

Glad to know i’m not the only one feeling this way!!!

zzzzzzzzz on

Stupid comment coming from “duh” from someone who is as dumb as she looks.

Selena on

stupid is as stupid does……

Sun on

It happens to many women out there. Just enjoy your second pregnancy and have tons of fun playing with your first baby.

JessiMarie on

Well, it’s definitely not a novel thought. On another note, I just adore the names of her children.

Edie on

Cricket, REALLY??? Not the baby’s fault, but, REALLY???

Kate on

These names: Birdie and Cricket???? I don’t even know …