Tom and Ashley Arnold: Our Rough Road to Parenthood

04/20/2013 at 01:00 PM ET

It’s been a long journey to parenthood for Tom and Ashley Arnold, who finally welcomed their first child, Jax Copeland, earlier this month.

“We’re really happy. I didn’t think it was in the cards for me, I’ll be honest,” the actor and comedian, 54, said during the pregnancy.

Since settled in at home with their son, Arnold and his wife, 37, spoke to PEOPLE exclusively about their emotional experience.

Tom Arnold Infertility Exclusive
Gabe Sachs

PEOPLE: Congratulations! How have your first two weeks with Jax been?

Ashley: Thank you! Amazing, everything I dreamed it would be.

Tom: Actually, I have dreamt of sleeping more.

PEOPLE: What is he like so far – are you noticing any personality peeking through yet?

Ashley: He is a little Buddha, he’s perfect.

Tom: The boy loves to eat and poop. He is my son.

PEOPLE: Jax looks just like you Tom — how does it feel to finally be a father?

Tom: All fat babies look like me, but babies change daily and soon he will be beautiful like his mother.

I’ve worked diligently to become a father for 23 years. Twenty-one cycles of in-vitro with four different women, but the moment Jax was born I realized that this was exactly the way it was meant to be. I was ready because I was healthy and had the perfect partner.

PEOPLE: How did you come up with the name Jax Copeland? Any specific meaning for your family?

Tom: My dad’s name is Jack and I wanted to honor him, but not too much. I am a fan of and worked on Sons of Anarchy and my favorite character’s name is Jax. We just thought it was a cool name. Of course I called Kurt Sutter, the show creator, to get his blessing.

I’m best friends with Dax Shepard so that was also in the back of my head, too. We almost named him Jaxson, but the night before the birth I found out one of my brothers had named his mangy dog Jaxson. Obviously that made a change absolutely necessary!

His middle name is Copeland because that was my grandma Dottie’s maiden name and she was a good lady.

PEOPLE: Ashley, how was your pregnancy – any crazy cravings? Tom, what was the pregnancy like for you? Did you do anything special for Ashley?

Tom: Pancakes, French toast, In-N-Out burgers — I was in heaven. Ashley never let us have crazy fattening food in the house before but once she got pregnant, it was game on! I gained more weight than she did because I wasn’t throwing up. Plus, she’d only eat some of her food so I’d get most of hers and mine.

Ashley: My pregnancy for the most part was pretty good, although Tom might tell you different! My biggest cravings were grapefruit with cinnamon and lots of pancakes for the nausea.

Tom: She talked about taking a “babymoon” but that was when she got sick every time we got in the car, so I vetoed it. She also insisted her “push gift” be the addition on our house, which is still going on. I should’ve bought her a nice necklace instead.

PEOPLE: Can you tell us about your labor and delivery experience? What was the moment like when Jax finally made his debut?

Tom: Every man will tell you there’s nothing that makes him crazier than seeing the woman you love in pain. Even little pains. Mostly because they tell you about each one. When a man’s wife is in pain, it triggers an “I gotta put that fire out!” panic alarm. It’s exhausting.

Ashley: We ended up having to do a planned c-section because the baby was breech.

Tom: I knew Ashley was having a c-section, and against my expert advice she didn’t want a bunch of pain medication — which also meant I’d look like a jerk if I asked for a bunch of pain medication.

I felt like a good husband because I was able to hide my emotions and be present for her. I knew the doctor was doing a good job when Ashley asked her to give a countdown before she started cutting and the doctor was already halfway done.

If you are considering watching a c-section, just know that it is a real surgery. The way I was able to do it — besides my farm experience and working in a meat-packing plant for three years — is that I disassociated the surgery area from my wife. You cannot bear to see someone you love getting their guts pulled out, but if you can pretend that’s just the pink mound where your baby has been living, you should be okay.

Most husbands don’t want to watch a c-section, but I had to see my child enter this world or I didn’t know if it would seem real. He’s been on a very long journey. I know he’s been in my dreams for 35 years.

I was in shock when I saw him appear because up until that moment, I didn’t truly believe it would ever happen. The disappointments. The miscarriages. When you’ve tried and failed so many times, you eventually accept that it won’t happen for you.

When I held him, I accepted he was real and though he is obviously too good for me, he will never doubt that his father loves him very much.

I also felt a kind of super love for Ashley. An intimacy and partnership and accomplishment I did not know possible.

PEOPLE: Going back a bit, Tom — you’ve been very open about your low sperm count. How long have you known this was an issue? Is this something you made Ashley aware of relatively quickly? Why did you decide to go public with it?

Tom: When I was attending the University of Iowa, we’d donate blood and plasma to get extra beer money. One day at the hospital I saw a sign asking for sperm donors and it paid $35. I was psyched because, unlike blood, I believed I could donate this stuff three times a day. Fortunately, they give you a test first and the doctor informed me that I didn’t have many “swimmers.”

Turned out when I was born my testicles didn’t descend right away. It happens to boys sometimes. They stay inside you a while and cook. That’s why as soon as Jax was born — while the doctors were counting fingers and toes — I was counting testicles.

My infertility was a non-issue — a plus, actually — until I got married at 30. Then it became humbling. Not so much because I was ashamed, but because I knew my issue would have to be solved by the mother having to endure cycles of drugs, tests and hormones.

You have to be strong people in a strong marriage to endure that. It really weeds out the wimps and the shaky relationships, so as far as being good parent material, it’s probably for the best.

I first spoke publicly about my low sperm count in 1990, but that’s only because I thought I would have a child soon. Had I known at the time that the love of my life and future mother of my child was a seventh-grader in Denver, I would’ve kept my big mouth shut.

I was honest with Ashley about all of my baggage on our first date and yet she came back for date two.

PEOPLE: Ashley, how did you process the news?

Ashley: I always knew that I was destined to be a mother. I struggled a bit in the beginning, knowing that it would not be an easy journey to have a child.

I figured this was the path I was supposed to be on, and just knew in the end, no matter what we would have a baby. If it was through IVF, adoption, a sperm donor … I knew we both were meant to be parents, and however we got there is the way it was supposed to happen.

PEOPLE: How did you come to the decision to do in-vitro — did you try other avenues first? Was there any point in time that you wanted to give up? Why did you press on?

Ashley: Tom and I discussed his struggle to have a baby very early on in our relationship. Tom wanted to go straight into the adoption process, which I understood considering all of the years he had already spent trying to have a baby. I knew in my heart that I was going to carry my baby, and I wasn’t ready to go that route quite yet.

I went to one of his fertility doctors to get the facts. When he told me that it wasn’t impossible for Tom to have a baby, that’s all I needed to hear. I ran with that.

I am a huge believer in homeopathic medicine, and this was one road Tom had not been down. I asked him to please give me six months to work on his sperm with Chinese medicine, and if there were no changes, then we would look into adoption. Tom agreed, and our journey had begun.

We were blessed to work with Dr. Jessica Chen and Dr. Dao at Tao of Wellness. If it weren’t for them, I know Jax would not be here today. I started to get my body ready to conceive and Tom followed everything that Dr. Chen asked him to do. He changed his diet, exercised, took herbs and showed up for treatment two times a week. Six months later, Tom’s sperm was tested and the numbers had gone way up. It was working!

We then got the thumbs up to do our first round of IVF with Dr. Richard Marrs. Our fertility roller coaster had just begun.

Tom: It says a lot about my wife’s character that she was willing to go with the same fertility doctor that tried to help my first wife and me. He is the best in the world, but that’s not enough for some people to get over.

Ashley: The hormone shots were very tough at first. They hurt and it was very uncomfortable. The weight gain was one of the hardest things for me to deal with. I put on over 30 lbs. in less then two years. There are endless amounts of doctor’s appointments and needles constantly being put in your arm to draw blood.

It was an experience that I learned to take one day at a time. When I was going through the ups and downs with my own body and feelings, I had to keep my eye on the prize. I knew there would be a baby in the end, and that was the only thing that mattered to me.

Tom: In the middle of this, I went to Dr. Philip Werthman, the sperm guru, and agreed to let him try a new procedure where he cut into my scrotum. Using a syringe, he extracted the sperm directly from my testicle in case my tubing was the problem. I became an even bigger fan of adoption that day.

Ashley: The first round of IVF did not take. The second round we got the good news — we were pregnant! My numbers weren’t very strong, but we were reassured that could happen and to wait for the next blood test. Six weeks later, we lost the baby. We were heartbroken.

We took a couple months off and started all over again. The third time worked and we were on our way to what looked like a healthy pregnancy. The numbers were good and I was on my last appointment with Dr. Marrs before graduating to my OB-GYN.

This is when we heard, “I am so sorry — there is no heartbeat.” We lost another baby at 2Β½ months. This one put me over the edge — I was devastated. I collapsed in Tom’s arms, and he continued to be the strength and hold me up, but I knew he felt the same.

Tom: I will never forget Ashley’s face after the second miscarriage when the doctor told her he couldn’t find a heartbeat.

Ashley: We were both doing everything we were supposed to do. I had every psychic, healer, energy person and anyone that could pray and light a candle doing so all around us. The baby shrine that I started on day one in our bedroom was now spilling over with things that friends and family were sending us.

I believe in manifesting anything that you want, so why wasn’t I manifesting our baby?

Tom: I swore I would never allow her to be crushed like that again. I insisted we adopt immediately.

Ashley: We decided it was time to meet with the adoption lawyer. Those three hours didn’t sit well with me. Tom wanted to write a check and get started, and everything in my body was telling me I wasn’t ready.

Tom: She begged me for one more chance. I knew it wouldn’t work, but I couldn’t say no. Thank God she’s a stubborn chick.

Ashley: I asked Tom to stick by me for one more round. We had two frozen embryos left and it was worth a shot. He agreed.

I went in for the last round and bingo — we were pregnant. I was basically on bed rest the first three months, only leaving the house for acupuncture. My numbers kept going up, and all looked great.

It was hard to believe, and we didn’t allow ourselves to get too excited. Every test, ultrasound and doctor’s appointment was so stressful. We both just waited for the other shoe to drop.

The first time Tom actually cried with excitement and relief was at the first trimester screening when the specialist said, “The baby is healthy.” We both started crying, knowing that our baby was finally here.

PEOPLE: Do you have any advice for other parents who are also struggling with fertility issues? Looking back now, with a newborn at home, what would you have told yourself?

Ashley: Never to give up. As long and hard as something may seem, keep your eye on the end result. Anything is possible. I have a collection of Buddhas on my baby shrine, and I can honestly say that I manifested the perfect Buddha.

Tom: Try to make sure you are up for it and with the right partner. It will probably be a rough road and your beautiful little baby deserves to come into a family that is still standing tall.

Tom Arnold Infertility Exclusive
Gabe Sachs

— Sarah Michaud

FILED UNDER: Babies , Exclusive , News , Parenting

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Showing 76 comments

Sandy on

Aww Tom looks so happy and baby looks like him πŸ™‚ Happiness to all!

Sandy on

Congrats!! What a story! I am so happy for your successful ending of a healthy child. This story will inspire so many who are going thru the same issues. Enjoy that precious little Buddha!!

Mel on

What an amazing story and journey they have been on. I wish them nothing but happiness as they experience their new baby boy. God bless.

anna on

What a great story – both seem like really honest, grounded people who put in for the long-haul and are now blessed with their own Jax – like why they chose the name also. Lovely story πŸ™‚

Kelly on

We saw Tom in Jacksonville, Fl a few months before the arrival of precious Jax. The joy in Tom’s face and voice when he spoke of his journey was unforgettable. I am delighted for this family as they begin their life together. Heartfelt congratulations!

Tom and Debi Blew on

Hey Tom, congratulations on your beautiful baby. So very happy for you all. You will be a great daddy.

Carolyn Spicer on

Congratulations. I loved being pregnant, it was the best feeling. We saw you in Fairfield, IA at the Civic Center. You were so great and the way you told your story of getting her pregnant was priceless. You are awesome, Please come back to Fairfield. Loved your show!!!!!!!!!!

Miche on

Great testimony. Congrats to them.

How do you pronounce Jax. Is it like Jack or Jacks?

My son is 3 and his testicles haven’t descended yet. The specialist doesn’t seem too worried but I wonder if it will affect his sperm count too.

Pam on

Miche, Jax is pronounced Jacks. I hope your son will be ok. Being a parent is a scary and beautiful thing. I’m pregnant and I wonder all the time will my baby be healthy? Will they be normal? Will they be sick? I try not to stress though cause I’m in the beginning and stress is no good then.

ME on

Like Jacks I would assume, Miche.

kimdavyc on

@miche ….if I were you id get a second opinion. Google future complications of your sons cryptochordism. That will tell you all you need to know. My son had the same condition and at his one year mark scheduled for surgery. Good luck!

Sara on

What a beautiful story. Bless their hearts! In a world of so many unwanted pregnancies and abused children, it is a breath of fresh air to hear about a couple who so desperately wanted a child getting their wish of becoming parents.

Ruth Arnold on

We are so proud of Tom and Ashley. All good are worth the wait for your precious baby! We are so excited to see little Jax this week end. Grandma will make a good sitter!!

Pam on

Aww how sweet Ruth! πŸ™‚ Congrats Grandma!

thatsright on

that was actually a beautiful story, and thank you to them for sharing it.

Lyd on

So very happy for Tom and Ashley. Their baby is beautiful. Wish them much happiness. Thanks for sharing your story!

lovescotland on

What a remarkable story, congrats to both of them and wishing them every happiness. I could so relate to their story as I’ve been down a very similar road. Glad it worked for them!

Pam on

Wow! What a journey.

As someone who has had three miscarriages and is about to enter my second trimester on my fourth try, I understand the emotional toll starting a family can take. While I am fortunate not to have had to go thru IVF, I have struggled to hold on to pregnancies as Ashley has.

I don’t think I will ever feel comfortable enough to celebrate until I see my child, but Ashley and Tom’s story certainly gives me hope.

Liz on

What an inspiring story! Congrats to Tom & his wife on a beautiful baby boy. My husband and I are currently going through our own fertility issues and its refreshing to see a story about it and for a famous couple to be so open about what they have gone through!

a on

i’m so so happy they finally got their baby πŸ™‚ congrats!!

margie on

Ya know, I almost congratulated him until he made the comment about his brothers “Mangy Dog”. Up yours Tom!

JustMe on

What an amazing journey – I got teary! How beautiful things worked out.

aleshamom4 on


gwen on

didnt like him too much but he made me cry and laugh.

Cassie on

Wow! What a great story, and I commend them for having the courage to discuss something so personal.

I’ve gone thru fertility treatments, too. We did 6 rounds of IUI’s and were just beginning IVF procedures when I started getting really scared. All those hormones, blood tests, medications, really took a toll, both physically and emotionally. After much thought, we are opting to start our family thru adoption instead.

Diane on

Congratulations to Tom and Ashley! It was quite the article – sadness, happiness and a lot of humor. Maybe someday they’ll open their hearts to adoption too – but either way, they seem like they’ll be wonderful parents. Tom always has seemed like a nice guy.

Rosie on

Newfound respect for Tom Arnold. This story made me laugh, cry, and reaffirmed my belief that where there is a will, there is a way. God bless his family. Truly a remarkable story. Ashley and Tom make a great, strong couple. They are going to be a great parents.

pd on

This story brought tears to my eyes. So happy for Tom and his wife. What a wonderful couple with a strong marriage and inspiring story told with such honesty and the level of detail so few are willing to share!!!

I know this will probably end up being my path because of my age now as a woman, and being recently divorced – if I do find the perfect partner for a solid strong relationship – so true! So their testament will inspire and continute to remind me of what is still possible!

Happyforyou on

I’ve thought of Tom as a clown in the past (I don’t personally know him), but by the end of the article I was cheering for him. What a sweet story. I’m happy their parenting dreams came true and I’m glad they found EACHOTHER. They seem like good partners.

DaisyMoon on

“he’s been in my dreams for 35 years”

Ah…that’s so beautiful.

“Mangy” dog…not cool Tom.

Amy on

What a great story, a true testament to their relationship. May God continue blessing your family.

linda on

I am so happy for you, I know its a long road, I have been there, you must have the right partner. If not it will not work. You have a strong foundation and your child will be loved and bring much joy & happiness to you, as i sure you already know.

Much Love to you both,..

Mary Larson on

Congratulations to the 3 of you a very blessed family…Jax is so perfect and looks like daddy i think…

Jen on


emily on

Can someone tell me why there is offense being taken to “mangy dog”? It’s a joke, but for some reason people are particularly offended, and I dont get it? He made a lot of mildly offensive, or off-color jokes during that interview, whats the big deal?

Holly on

That is so nice that they shared their struggles with people, it gives hope to others.

Nancy on

I used to think he was a jerk but it sounds like he finally grew up. The love of a good woman will do that, ya know!

Cynthia on

Arnold is not my favorite (did love him in True Lies), but big kudos to him for being so ready to adopt. Too often people who can’t conceive look at adoption as admitting to a failure. Family (even media) always seem to obsessed with referring to the child as ‘adopted’ vs birth child. Again, KUDOS to Tom.

Jo on

This is so encouraging to me right now. We’ve been trying to have a baby for nearly 5 years now, and it’s been the most painful road I could possibly imagine. I lost 4 babies before we tried IVF last month. We were so positive and hopeful, but I miscarried our twins. In a week’s time, we’re going for round 2 and I now know exactly what’s coming – and it’s not fun, and I’m scared. But I guess we always cling to hope…

Kinsey on

Congrats to them both…they are fortunate to afford IVF. One rounds costs about $15-20K. That’s a lot of moula!! Very lucky!! Congratulations!!

Lindsay on

Not necessarily Kinsey. I just went through IVF also and it was definitely not as much money as initially thought. It depends where you live and if insurance covers it. Fortunately my insurance plan covers IVF so it wasn’t too expensive. Also it depends if you’re having genetic testing done and ICSI both of which can raise the cost of IVF.

Anonymous on

Nice outcome–congrats!

Anonymous on

I am so happy for them

V.S. on

THANK YOU Tom and Ashley for sharing your story in such an open and honest way!!!!! Such an encouragement for others struggling in silence. Hopefully women will buy it and leave in the bathroom with page bookmarked. There is nothing to be ashamed of if you struggle with infertility. “NEVER GIVE UP”!

Liz on

How wonderful for them! Wow, Jax looks JUST like daddy!!! Congratulations!!!!

Michelle D on

Oh my, this story almost made me cry. I did IVF twice ten years ago, and it is hardcore. That Tom was on the journey 21 times is amazing! It shows how important that baby was for him.

Congratulations to this beautiful family!!!

Marky on

Kinsey, why is there always someone who posts a whiney comment about how sad it is that someone else can afford something they can’t, or maybe choose not to? All of us make choices of some kind, and there is always someone with more money than you have. Why the incessant “sigh”, or “poor me”? I’ve seen lots of people who choose to have a house 2x bigger than they need, a new car every 3 years, new furniture every 4 years, and they go out 4 x a week to eat, then they say, “if only I could afford to adopt, or have fertility treatments.”

I don’t know what your circumstances are, or what choices you have made, but I know what choices I had to make when faced with infertility. We lived in a small house , we drove an inexpensive older car, and had the same old furniture we bought at a very inexpensive store. We spent every dime we had, (and I’m not exaggerating) to adopt our child, and we have never regretted it. We had exhausted all infertility tx, and adoption was our choice. Don’t waste energy in envy; make up your mind what you want to do, and get to work making it happen.

JJ on

“Mangy dog?” More offensive things were said during interviews. Please lighten up people and enjoy the story about this beautiful child. If that is the only thing you found wrong in the article, that’s less about him and more about you……

Anonymous on

Jo- Have you had your progesterone levels checked or been tested for clotting disorders? Both can cause the body to be unable to hold on to pregnancies (fortunately, both can also usually be easily treated!), as can many other things. Five miscarriages is indictive that you have an underlying condition that needs to be treated before you can hold a pregnancy.

I wish you the best of luck in your journey!

Anonymous on

“I knew Ashley was having a c-section, and against my expert advice she didn’t want a bunch of pain medication”. Okay, I’m confused. Is he saying that Ashley was crazy enough to refuse anesthesia for the C-section?!

anne on

I just wanted to say that I was touched by the stories of infertility posted here. I have one child, a son, and could not have another child. Medical reason, but not a fertility one. He is 21 now and I really do not think a day of his life has passed without me being grateful for being his mom. I HATED it when he was small and people would say, ‘oh you just have the one, come on now, he needs a baby brother/sister’. No, I don’t JUST have the one. I am extremely blessed to have one. I already know he would love a sibling, it hurts when you remind me.

Could I please share some advice? I work in newborn ICU, so I have experience with this personally and professionally.

Do not assume a person can have a baby. Do not assume that because they had one, they can have another. Never ask if someone is pregnant, they are pregnant when they decide to share the news, not before. Do not ever ask if a baby, or multiples, are ‘natural’. If parents want you to know how their baby was conceived, they will share it. Do not assume childless couples are unable to have kids or assume that they even want kids. If you know a couple is desperately trying to have a baby, do not offer unsolicited remedies, potions, treatments, articles, doctors, clinics, medication names, news stories etc., unless you are asked by them. If someone confides their infertility issues or pregnancy to you, it is not your right to pass that info on. If someone shares news of a recent miscarriage, loss or baby death. NEVER say anything to them about having another baby. Never say ‘you are young, you can get pregnant again’ or ‘there must have been something wrong with the baby so it is for the best’ or ‘you can try right away again’ or ‘lots of women miscarry so you’re not alone’. Parents are grieving a heart-wrenching loss, they are not looking for advice on a replacement baby, because there is no such thing. Do not remind them to be grateful for the kids they still have, they are grateful, but they are heartsick over their loss. Do not avoid the loss by acting as though it did not happen. It can make the parents feel as though the baby did not matter. It is okay to say ‘I don’t know what to say, but I want to listen when you are ready to talk’. Don’t say ‘I know how you feel’ because truly you do not. Everyone feels things differently.

I know people mean well but babies are a very sensitive subject. They can be a source of great joy and/or devastation. People just want to be heard and know you care. The time may come later for advice, but the couple will initiate it, when they are ready. If a couple has 3 kids, don’t refer to them as ‘ 2 kids, plus an adopted one.’ I assure you, in their eyes they have 3 kids, because they do. However a baby arrives, celebrate, party and jump for joy! Thanks πŸ™‚

Nad on

Well said.

taradawes on

It is currently Infertility Awareness Week, 1 in 8 couples will be effected by infertility, because of this I’m very happy that Mr. Arnold and his wife decided to share their story. Too often infertility is a subject that isn’t discussed (especially male factor infertility) so it’s nice to see a couple who are willing to open up and share their journey.

As someone who has been going through infertility treatments for three years it makes me happy to see stories like this, where the end result of all that struggle and heartache is a beautiful family – it gives us all hope.

Beth on

Seriously… Some people need to lighten up in regards to being offended by his “mangy dog” comment. This is Tom Arnold! It’s probably meant as a playful jab to his brother and nothing more.

mamanas on

What a story. Glad someone visible can come out and share a story experienced by so many couple. So if you wonder why people are having babies so late, they usually started 15 plus years ago before having the dream come true.

mamanas on

Wow….I am shocked at the love on this thread, so use to the judgements about his age. Very ironic.

Anonymous on

so happy for the arnolds–God has answered again–this baby will be loved by his parents and they will make sure he has a wonderful life

rose on

Loved reading this story.they have been tru a lot to get their have my husband and I.after our first ivf we were told things were so bad not to try again. But something inside told me give it one more try I did n had my beautiful daughter we also went for more ivf and had twins.I’m so glad we didn’t give up.

Grace2 on

Congratulations. I know every baby is a gift, but when I hear a story like this, I just feel even more joyful for them. That’s one lucky baby who will be loved and cherished, just like babies should be. I doubt these two will ever take a healthy baby for granted.

Lauren on

Inspiring Story. Congrats to both of them πŸ™‚

Carolyn on

Such a beautiful story, congrats to the new parents for never giving up hope!

Mindy on

Congratulations on your beautiful baby boy! I hope your story gives hope to all those who are struggling with infertility issues.

Becky on

Love this story, it brought tears to my eyes..Lighten up people and learn to read, most of whar Tom was saying was in a joking tone..Kinsey wasn’t whining, she just said they were fortunate to be able to afford IVF, didn’t sound whining at all..Congrats Gramdma Ruth, many blessings to you and your family…

Beth on

hahahaha seventh grader

Hilary on

Amen, Anne! Very well said. I’ve been through four IUI cycles, one miscarriage, and we are discussing IVF. Nobody understands unless they’ve been through it and every person’s story is different. Do not pass judgement on others since you can’t possibly understand the choices they’ve had to make to try and become parents. Congrats to Tom and Ashley!

Anonymous on

anne- I’d like to add one more thing to what you said: Never ask a couple when/if going to start a family. Not only is it none of your beeswax, but it implies that you aren’t a family if you don’t have children and that you’re somehow a lesser person if you can’t succesfully reproduce (neither of which is true, of course!).

The last thing someone struggling with infertilty needs is a stranger (or worse, a friend or family member) making them feel guilty and like even more of a failure than they already do!

Rita & Grant Wolf on

Congratulations on your beautiful baby boy. What a remarkable story and baby! You two are to be admired!

JMD on

love this story and am so happy for them!!! It’s so refreshing to hear a celebrity couple be completely open and honest about fertility struggles.

Becky on

I have always been a fan of Tom’s since he is from Iowa, as am I. I think he is so hilarious! I had tears when I read this story. I can’t imagine how difficult their journey was but what a prize they have now. Such a beautiful little guy they have there! His wife seems absolutely lovely. I love when Tom said that Jax will never doubt that his father loves him very much. So sweet!!! Congrats to the beautiful family!!!

Becky on

@Anonymous asking about the lack of pain medication- That is what I thought at first (that she refused anesthesia for the surgery itself) then thought there’s no way in hell. I would bet he means after the surgery. After both of my C-sections, I was hooked up to a pain pump. I pushed that mother as often as it would let me. I almost cried when they wheeled it away. I will never say no to pain medicine when I am in pain because I am a big wuss. πŸ˜‰

Oh, and Marky? I think you are 100% wrong about Kinsey’s post. I didn’t see it as whining at all. She said they are fortunate to be able to afford IVF (and they are!) Not everyone has that kind of cash for IVF. She said they are lucky and congrats twice. How is that whining?!

Congrats, Grandma Ruth! I imagine you are busting at the seams to get your hands on that sweet little boy! He’s so cute!

Becky on

Beautifully said, Anne!!!

Lynne on

Gosh what an ugly pud but I’m sure we’ll see him in a year and he’ll be a rambunctious little toddler. Spoiled rotten as well he should be.

Katie on

Tom, your wife is a ROCK STAR!!!! Wow… congrats to you both!!!

Azuree on

What a great story. I’m so glad that this happened for Tom and Ashley; they sound like wonderful parents. God bless all three of them.

Mel on

That was a great read. Good article People. What a journey Tom has endured before this wife. And what a journey they went through together. So happy for Tom, nice seeing him happy and settled and a FATHER. Congrats to both of them on their beautiful baby Jax!

Laverne on

I went thru the same and never gave up I had miscarriages my fiancΓ©e wasn’t the problem I was my tubes were blocked and the doctors didn’t know why I lost some weight and then I tried one last time the first round didn’t work we paid for 2 cycles so I tried the second transferred four embryos and now we have a blessed and healthy baby girl she is now 8 1/2 months so congratulations!!!