Portia de Rossi: ‘You Have to Really Want Kids’ – and I Don’t

04/12/2013 at 09:00 AM ET

Portia de Rossi OUT Ellen DeGeneres
Courtesy OUT

They may have opened their home to a herd of horses, but Portia de Rossi and Ellen DeGeneres weekend ranch won’t be crawling with kids anytime soon.

After wondering whether they would ever expand their family, the native Australian actress says she believes a brood of babies just isn’t in the cards for the couple.

“There comes some pressure in your mid 30s and you think, ‘Am I going to have kids so I don’t miss out on something that other people really seem to love?'” de Rossi, 40, tells OUT in their May issue. “‘Or is it that I really genuinely want to do this with my whole heart?'”

According to the talk show host’s wife, the answer was obvious.

“I didn’t feel that my response was, ‘Yes,’ to the latter. You have to really want to have kids and neither of us did,” she explains. “So it’s just going to be me and Ellen and no babies — but we’re the best of friends and married life is blissful, it really is.”

Despite not having a baby, de Rossi still has plenty to keep her busy; Her once-canceled show Arrested Development is back on Netflix in May, with the actress reprising her role as Lindsay Bluth.

“We could trust the process because we know our characters and we know [creator] Mitch [Hurwitz]. But at the same time, everything was very spontaneous,” she says of the show’s second chance. “Some of the funniest stuff I have ever seen in my whole life is in this new season.”

– Anya Leon

FILED UNDER: News

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Showing 133 comments

Par on

I completely get where she is coming from, and agree. It’s nice to get a perspective from celebrities who don’t want kids – finally we’re getting an accurate and less addressed cross-section of our society. As a woman in the “baby-making” age range, it’s common to debate with yourself if having kids is what you want, especially when you have friends who are and seem to really lo it

tb on

If you don’t want kids you should not have them. Good for her for knowing this.

Jacqueline on

I find it really commendable when people don’t allow themselves to be pressured into having kids. They’re living the life they want to live and they’re happy in it and there’s not a thing wrong with that! :-)

Bkable on

A lot of people immediately think “OMG how terrible” when people don’t want kids. I congratulate them for being so up-front and honest :) I do think they’d make great moms though!

Sam on

Good for them! I’m approaching 34 myself and the pressure abounds…but I’m just not feeling like it’s for me. Thanks for showing the other side of the coin.

Sarah on

At least she’s honest about it.

Patti on

Crap…now I have to get netflix….Arrested Development has to be one of the funniest shows out there….so sad they had to cancel it…..but SUPER happy they are coming back….

Sophia on

Good for them! Society puts so much pressure on women to have children. I’m turning 30 this year and I’ve been married for almost 4 years now. We’re still not sure if we are going to have kids, but I’m always scared to talk openly about that to people because the responses I get are horrid: “You’re not a real woman unless you have kids”, “You’re selfish to not bring life into this world”, “Your husband will leave you if he isn’t responsible for a family.”

I like kids and I’m so supportive of my friends’ families, but I refuse to live by other people’s ideals and lifestyles! It would be FAR MORE selfish for me to have kids just because everyone thinks I should. As Portia said, you should really want to have kids before taking that plunge otherwise everyone loses on some level. People need to do what is best for them and their significant other (if applicable). I’m proud of Ellen and Portia for making a decision that works best for them and proudly speaking about it! Enjoy your blissful marriage!

Tina on

Good for them. People that don’t want children shouldn’t be parents. It’s not for everyone (thank goodness).

BRod on

“There comes some pressure in your mid 30s and you think, ‘Am I going to have kids so I don’t miss out on something that other people really seem to love? Or is it that I really genuinely want to do this with my whole heart?’”

She hit the nail on the head right there! Exactly what me, at 34, and my husband are going through right now.

Kat on

That is so great that she is so honest! I think there’s so much pressure to have kids because that’s what you’re “supposed” to do and then you see people having kids that don’t really want them and the children suffer for it. If more people speak up like Portia is doing here, maybe people who don’t *truly* want children will have more courage to stand up against the pressure. With 6 billion + people on the planet, it’s not like we need to expand our population or anything!

TXM on

Parenthood isn’t for everyone and it is better that you ask youself the hard question before having a child for the wrong reasons. They always have the option of adoption down the road if they change their minds. Am glad they are taking that decision seriously!

Jen on

There is absolutely nothing selfish about choosing not to have children — actually, quite the opposite.

me on

I’ve always loved Ellen and Portia’s view on this. As someone who works with children, I see way too many people that seem to have kids simply because that’s what’s expected. Despite what you make think, kids are NOT for everyone. And it takes a really mature adult to realize that it’s really not for them.

Yeah, it’s kinda sad cause I think they would be great moms. But I love that they set an example for people that if you are not passionate about having kids, then do the world a favor and don’t have them!

Nix on

She looks a lot like Ellen in that picture.

Carrie M on

Let’s face it – motherhood isn’t for everyone and you have to be wise enough to realize that. You can’t live your life making others happy. You have to do what’s right for you. Different strokes for different folks….

Mary Ann on

There’s nothing wrong with not wanting children. If your heart isn’t 100% committed to the idea, don’t do it. I admire them not succumbing to pressure.

Bocanada on

Its time for society to realize that women are not baby making machines. Some if us don’t want to have kids and nobody has the right to shove maternity down our throats. We live in a society that tells women that their only function in life is to be mkthers and if they don’t become mothers then they don’t function or aren’t women. I applaud Portia for being open about her desire to not be a mother, and to recogmize that that isn’t a decision she’s going to regret.

Jamie on

I admire this lady. I do not wish to have children either however I have my family and friend persist I’ll change my mind. I will not bring a child in to the world for the sake of standard.

Nikita on

I can relate to the never wanting children. But alas, I ended up with two amazing step children that I love dearly. :-) Is it me or does that photo of her look kinda creepy? LOL

SPRINGSGRANNY on

I give them a lot of credit for not folding to what other people think they should do. Not everyone is cut out to be a Mom. We read about them in the papers all the time. It’s a very hard, exhausting, long, selfless and rewarding job if you do it right.

Beth on

I agree that you need to want kids 150% in order to have them. Despite societal and familial pressure, having kids is not for everyone and I respect Portia and Ellen for knowing that and staying true to their beliefs.

WiddoMouse on

Happy they made a decision that is good for them. Too many people have kids just because they think it will fulfill their lives. I’m with Portia and Ellen. I never wanted kids and never missed having them.

Guest on

Nothing wrong with not wanting kids. They r soooo many people who have them for all the wrong reasons and at the end it’s the kids who suffer. By the way she looks great in that picture.

Anna on

First rule is to know yourself and your family. If it isn’t right for you, then there is no point of pushing it or faking it. Good for them for knowing and being happy with their decision.

Sophia on

Strange; she looks lovely, but ever so much like Ellen on that magazine cover!

kris on

love her as lindsay blulth! cannot wait for arrested development’s new season

Rachael on

If only more people had this mentality! I love kids and want (more) kids, but some women are just not cut out to be mothers. Kudos to them for recognizing it and not bending to an unspoken social pressure!

(This goes for men, too!)

Marge on

Babies aren’t for everyone and it’s nice the couple agree on that. I can’t wait to have kids but it also must be nice for it to be just you and your significant other.

adj on

sometime i think people have kids because that’s what everyone does. i respect her and ellen’s decision to not have kids. i am only 25 i don’t want kids now or in my near future. maybe that will change? i’m not sure. i just know that kids are not what i want any time soon.

deedee12 on

Smart girl. I’m not sure why people believe that children are essential for complete happiness and fulfillment. The truth is – parents are the unhappiest people I know.

Noneya on

Good for them! NOT everyone is cut out to be a parent and it takes a LOT of courage to admit that! LOVE Ellen & Portia and wish them a lifetime of happiness!

Sandra on

I remember having this exact conversation with a lady a few years ago, who just could not wrap her head around the fact that not all women want to be mothers. She just thought it was the untimate act of selfishness to not want to have a baby or babies. I had to explain that selfish is having a child that you really are not ready for mentally, physically, emotionally and financially and that just because they are cute and squishy and smell good most of the time, its the rest of the time that you have to be prepared for.

Kayte on

I love this couple. I’m glad that they came to the right conclusion for their particular situation. There’s nothing worse for a child than a mother who doesn’t really want to be one.

Charli on

I like her and Ellen and appreciate their honest perspective on having children

Jenn on

Woah, she really looks like Ellen here!

Mary on

Good for them! Children should be wanted and cherished! People shouldn’t have them just because society expects couples to have kids. I am in a very happy stable marriage(with a guy) and we are not planning to have children. Ever. Because we both believe babies should be welcome by parents who will love them and give them all the time ans attention they deserve.

KGAR on

Good decision on so many levels.

Shannon on

Thank you for posting this article. As a 32 year old married women, my husband and I have not decided if kids were right for us. This article makes me feel it is okay that it is just you and your partner. That you don’t have to be the norm.

Stef on

That is a beautiful picture but it doesn’t really look like her.

Carol on

Kudos to them for not jumping on the bandwagon! Also for understanding the committment required to be a parent and being honest for saying its not for them.

What??? on

She needs to eat a sandwich already. Scary, bony looking.

azalia on

I wish more women and men, would be this honest with themselves. I see so many emotionally neglected children, because they are unwanted by their parents. I see many more physically abused children, because they were unwanted. Not all women are maternal. This is a myth, and there is nothing wrong with knowing that about yourself.

Guest2 on

Smart ladies thinking it through and deciding what is best for them. Too many people bow to ‘peer’ pressure. I bet they would have made excellent parents, though!

Sophia on

I love Portia and Ellen, and they’re acting very mature by not having a kid just to have a kid. I too don’t want to have a child although I love kids and been volunteering at a children’s nonprofit for years now. Me and my boyfriend are happy with our lives.

Callie on

Good choice. I made the same choice years ago and have never regretted it once! Too many people have children without thinking about the responsibility it takes to raise them and are bad parents. Just because you can have children doesn’t mean you should

Lynda on

Absolutely nothing wrong with that. Enjoy your life!!

Sara on

Good for her for not giving into the mommy peer pressure that so many women – married or not – face. Not everyone has the will or means to become a parent and society should not base any worth on a woman’s choice or ability to have a child.

Mara on

This is so refreshing to read, especially with the obsession of baby bumps out in Hollywood. I can relate to her 100%. I also started to feel pressure from family & friends in my mid-thrities to have kids. But then I said to myself you should have kids only if you really want them not because your family or society tells you that as woman you should want to have kids. My life is fulfilled and I have a solid marriage, we both feel the same way. My choice not to have kids, is just that my choice! I don’t judge people for having them great, so people need to stop judging those of us to choose not to have them. To each its own I say and do what is right for your life and don’t care what anyone thinks. I am a very happy aunt to a beautiful niece and two newphews and yes I like children!

Watcher on

As hard as I have tried, I simply cannot work up any sympathy for this person. The end.

Noneya on

Good for them! Takes guts to admit that you may not be cut out to be a parent!

Anonymous on

Good for them, at least they know what they want and haven’t brought a child into the world that they truly didn’t want to have. I’m with them, never had the mothering urge in me, don’t want kids. Kids don’t complete a person’s life, the person complete’s their own life by being healthy and happy.

h on

You can have a fulfilling life without kids. Never wanted them and there is nothing wrong with that. Women have many other roles than mommy. Good for the moms out there who raise their kids well. It is more than just the baby phae, it is a lifetime commitment. Relationships ended because they wanted kids and I did not. I am not selfish but I don’t want to bring a child into the world if my heart is not in it and it is not. Happy with my furbabies and my career, friends and family. If a guy comes along great . .if not I won’t lose any sleep at night because I have a very fulfilling life. :-)

M on

I really respect Portia for her candidness. My husband and I have been married for 6.5 years and we are happy and thank God still in love and relatively successful. However, I cannot tell you how pressuring it is that our friends, co-workers, etc feels this need to constantly ask us when are we going to have children, what’s even more alarming is that whenever we try to explain that we are fine and not feeling the need, is their show of disapproval. Seriously, I think it would be worst to give into their expectations than to have children that we are not 100% certain that we want.

Guest on

YEAH!!! I know so many couples (usually straight but that doesn’t matter) who have babies after they get married because that’s what you’re “supposed” to do. Be honest with yourself – if you don’t want them, don’t have them. Love Portia & Ellen!

Mira on

When I had a miscarriage, I was so relieved.. I couldn’t get excited about being pregnant or didn’t feel a connection. That’s how I knew, that I really don’t want kids either.

bekah on

Good for them! More people should be honest with themselves when it comes to the issue of becoming a parent.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting to be a parent. Likewise there is nothing wrong with wanting to be a parent.

Everyone has to do what’s right for their situation.

Even people who legitimately want children should step back and see if it’s the right time. I’m not saying to have all the ducks in a row, but going beyond oh my I want a cute little baby.

meghan on

@Watcher, who is asking for your sympathy?

Samantha on

Thank you for being so vocal about your decision! I have had so many people call me “selfish” because I know I don’t want children. I think it would be wrong for me to have them when my heart isn’t in it. Not everyone is meant to be a parent. Thank you Portia!

guest on

Thanks for keeping it real, motherhood is’nt for everyone. I applaud anyone who is honest enough to admit that having children is not for them.

Guest on

So true. All my friends do is complain about them :-)

donna on

I distinctly remember Ellen D saying she’d love to have kids a while back. Funny how she bends to her “wife” now.

B.J. (the girl) on

What??? – “She needs to eat a sandwich already. Scary, bony looking.” Maybe you should put the sandwich down?

Good for Portia and Ellen. The world would be a better place if more people came to this conclusion before making babies they don’t truly want.

Dietra on

There is nothing wrong with hair

p on

what a beautiful cover! I adore ellen and portia. doma supporters need to wake up and snap out of it!

Stacey on

Can’t relate to this at all-I’m a mom of 7. And deedee12, I’m thrilled , elated, excited, and as happy as happy can get-EVERYDAY. Love and Adore my kids!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jen on

God only knows there are enough ding dongs populating the world with unwanted/abused children. I commend them for their mature decision.

martine on

I really admire Portia for being honest with herself. Who cares what ‘social standards’ dictate! It’s what in one’s heart that counts. It is time for people to accept the fact that no everyone wants or needs to have children. I love being a mom, but my own mother only had kids due to pressure from her family – and her entire mothering ‘career’ was built on the premise that children are a burden. Not good.

meme on

I do not think she is even recognizable in that photo.

s. gaffney on

Just my opinion but i feel that children are life’s greatest gift and people that don’t want them are missing out..in some cases,not all they’re too shallow,selfish and self absorbed to even realize it and that’s sad.i wish portia and ellen the best

h on

S. Gaffney I think it is selfish to bring a child into the world the way it is!! It is sick!! Kids murdering kids and you want to bring a child into that? It is what you want . .not what they want. Don’t we have enough children being neglected not coming from stable families and causing mischief? Moms murdering their kids because they can’t be honest with themselves. It is not for everyone!! I commend those who know they are not cut out for it. Women can contribute more to society than by bringing another unwanted child into the world. We have a choice and we are not the freaking same!! Stop being close minded and think outside the freaking box!!

Lydia on

I absolutely adore people who are honest like this and commend them for being truthful instead of doing something they don’t truly want just to try to fit in with societal norms. My lovely aunt, who is 56, never wanted children and was ridiculed and talked down to for it her whole life. She is married and has a WONDERFUL life. She travels, she has a ton of money, she has freedom to do whatever she wants and I really think it is an awesome lifestyle she has chosen. I couldn’t imagine my life without kids but I respect those who are wise enough to make the decision to not have them because they know it’s not right for them.

Sherri on

I love my kids but fully understand what she is saying. It is such a forever commitment. More people need to think it over carefully before having children.

SQ on

I alway say

“Not every woman was put on this earth to have children.”

I never saw myself in the role of Mommy, and never wanted kids, so I never had them. No regrets, either.

Isabel on

Good for her for knowing what she wants and not giving into pressure. It’s perfectly possible to lead a fulfilling life without children.

mamanas on

I don’t get why the media keeps asking about kids. They have said no on many occasions. It is ok to be a woman and not want kids and be sane.

mamanas on

Now if people can understand my personal.decision to have kids. Kudos to all the women who are making their own choices.

Marie on

At least they are in agreement….I respect that!

MD on

Why is she even addressing this? She doesn’t want kids, well guess what?! You sleep with a woman so you’ve got nothing to worry about! Idiotic. Not like she EVER has to worry about getting pregnant. She’s with a woman. Not a man. Stupid to even address this when there’s no way Ellen can get her pregnant.

MD on

You’re very ignorant Gaffney. Not everyone is meant to be a parent. It would REALLY be selfish for people who truly do not want to parent a child to reproduce just to please all the ignormi like yourself. She’s not married to you so why do you have to judge her & other non-parents for their choice? No one is calling you selfish for having another human who could potentially be a criminal or leech on society. Have 80 kids if you want, but don’t call non-parents selfish just b/c YOU want kids!!

Um on

watcher – I can’t work up any sympathy for her either :( But that’s probably bc she’s a reasonably intelligent & self-aware woman in a stable, loving, long-term relationship. And the plenty of money & major role in the hilarious arrested development dont inspire pity either. It’s weird, right?

Reesca on

I love this couple! There is absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting to have children! As a mother of 2, it’s a lot of hard work and many sleepless nights – it’s definitely not for everyone. I think it’s great that she’s talking about this. Hopefully it will shed some light on others so they can see that not having children isn’t a bad thing.

Reesca on

deedee12, I am far from unhappy. I have everything I’ve ever wanted out of life. A wonderful husband, two great daughters who mean the world to me, a career and a beautiful home. I am exactly where I want to be in life and couldn’t be happier. You shouldn’t be making such ridiculous generalizations because they don’t apply to everyone.

American Mom on

I agree with Portia’s statement about parenthood, but not yours. We must be living in two different countries! The America I live in doesn’t treat women like baby factories or make us feel that we are without choices. As a woman here I have every freedom and all are considered valid and respected. Perhaps the issues you have are to do with yourself. Our society is not to blame. If anything, women today who choose motherhood over careers rather than both are starting to receive less support, unfortunately, from our society-not the other way around.

Ann on

This is so refreshing to read. I was a summer nanny through most of my teens and that gave me a good taste of how Much work caring children is. There were some days when you could not pay me enough to do it, so I always knew that I would have to really want that life if I would in essence want to pay to Have children of my own. Throughout my 20s I had very little desire to have children and now that I am 31 I still do not have that desire and don’t see myself having it anytime soon. Of course this worries my mom today, but I don’t have the heart to tell her I really don’t think I ever want children. To me I have put too much work into my career, and dedicated to staying in shape, and enjoy my personal time too much to sacrifice it all for the sake of doing what I’m “supposed” to do.

Solène on

I’m only 26, but I’ve known for a few years now that I don’t want to be a mother. This thought gives me the peace of mind I need, so having a baby is definitely not for me. Good for them to acknowledge that and to make it public. I hope I won’t feel pressured much about it, because anyway, the answer’s no!

lovely123 on

I am glad she is honest, but I would honestly like to know what is going on with her face. She needs to take it easier on the fillers. She sort of looks like the joker.

Jessica on

I agree. It’s nice to see that it’s not so darn taboo when you don’t want kids. My husband has 3 kids and I absolutely love them to pieces but honestly I don’t want any of my own. I’m 30 and I enjoy my time with my husband, we don’t get much of it do to opposite schedules but we cherish the time we get and like I said while I adore my step kids and the time we get with them having my own just isn’t for me.

Marianne on

Absolutely on the same boat with Portia. I commend her honesty and rationality on this topic. It takes a lot of guts to come out and admit that motherhood is simply not for you especially when you come from a large family as myself that feels that having children is the ultimate gift you can give yourself. I respect their decision but strongly stick to how I feel not to have them. It is a lifelong responsibility and definitely something you REALLY have to want to do!!

Laine on

These two are amazing. Kids are a huge commitment, a ton of work and it’s just simply not for everyone. Good for these two for not caving to societal pressure and just doing what’s right for THEM. They are really incredible.

side note: UNBELIEVABLY excited AD is coming back!!

zusje on

Personally I don’t get why this is a matter for discussion with every woman.George Clooney and tons of other male celebrities don’t have kids and are older than Portia,why isn’t anyone asking them if they want kids or not?You want/have/cherish kids?Good for you,that was obviously the right decision for you and I’m glad you were able to make the right decision and fulfill your wish.You don’t want kids?Also good for you…we live in a free country!

Melody on

Good on you, Portia and Ellen. It’s so refreshing when a person/couple acknowledges that if they were to have children, it wouldn’t be for the right reasons and that it’s just not something for them. A very mature and well-reasoned decision to arrive at, based on their circumstances.

N on

I never forgot how mean a lot of older people are to have children. My own grandmother basically views me as a failure because I didnt produce any children. The man I am in a relationship with wants children too, but not with just anyone. People crack me up when they think because you’re between 35-40 you havent had children yet something is wrong with you.

Here’s my take like some people here have said not everyone wants children and some people may have issues with having children due to whatever reasons. It’s too bad we live in a society that places high emphasis on being parents when we live in a world where some women and men should not be parents period.

I tell people flat out stop asking when I am going to have children it’s like am I on a schedule to give people what they want? No I am not I want to be married to the right man before I start a family. I won’t just have a baby with any man and to shut the critics up. I want to have a baby with someone I love and want to make a life with.

bdawn8403 on

‘When I had a miscarriage, I was so relieved.. I couldn’t get excited about being pregnant or didn’t feel a connection. That’s how I knew, that I really don’t want kids either.’

Mira, you are the most vile and heartless human being I could ever think existed. I lost my last child through miscarriage after trying for over 3 years and you were happy it happened? How can you be so heartless? You should be ashamed of yourself.

I have never understand any woman who doesn’t want to have a child. Its unnatural and very strange.

jane on

Well one thing for sure there won’t be any accidental pregnancy.

Gay people have to jump through hoops to get pregnant so at 40 she knows wants she wants.

Nothing worse than having kids because of pressure from society.

Astrogirl on

Dear reporter/editor of this story…
Portia de Rossi is so far from being a native Australian, it’s not funny! She is Australian.

A native Australian, otherwise known as an indigenous Australian or Aboriginal Australian are the original inhabitants of Australia. Seriously….it seems that anybody can submit/edit stories these days without any basic knowledge of the world!

On a separate note, good on her for being honest about not wanting children.Why do it if you know you are not 100% committed to the idea…Very unselfish attitude she has indeed.

dany on

well, i think it is natural that two women cannot make a baby…so she even does not have to think about it

aleighcat on

Good for her, for not bowing to the pressures of society. If I had a crystal ball 32 years ago, I would be a single, childless career woman today…probably living somewhere like Wales. Some people aren’t cut out to be mothers, but once you are, you can’t just cut it off and change your mind. Once a mother, always a mother….and now, grandmother. I’m going to be brutally honest and face the wrath I’ll get, but I honestly don’t like being a mother/grandmother. I mean, I like kids and all….but I (quite selfishly) want a solitary life. I was a stupid teenager who knew it all — I got pregnant and married at 16, had my son 28 days after my 17th birthday, and am still with the same man 31 years later. For God’s sake, girls, listen to someone who’s “been there” and is now trapped — get an education and wait until you’ve lived a bit (until you’re at *least* 30) before getting tied down with a husband and kids. By that time you should know whether or not marriage/kids are what you want.

Buckeye12 on

bdawn8403, your attitude is the one that people are talking about when they mention society’s disapproval for not wanting children. I’m sorry for your loss, but Mira was speaking about her own experience. It seems the height of arrogance to expect other people’s reactions to the same experience to be identical to yours, and then to insult them when they aren’t.

Before you disregard my opinion as belonging to a “selfish” woman who hates kids, let me mention that I have also experienced a miscarriage and still hope to have a healthy child someday… but I am also mature and emotionally healthy enough to respect people who feel differently…which will only be an asset to my parenting.

mobile20 on

Good for her. Everyone should contemplate having children seriously like this.

As far as Arrested Development, great show. The comedy is so wickedly subtle and unexpectedly real, your jaw drops. Everyone will identify something twisted in their own families. The mother, Lucille, is priceless.

MommyBunny on

Hey– she’s absolutely right. Kids should only be with people who absolutely want them. To have them just to have them is selfish to the kids. It’s a smart thing to know.

denise on

I am in my late 40’s and am child-free by choice and prefer the lifestyle as the doting and loving aunt who baby sits and showers my nieces and nephews with fun and gifts and then send them on their merry way. Just call me ‘Auntie Mame’ :)

Anonymous on

Nice to see some honesty for a change! Thank you!!

Anonymous on

I think its great when people who dont really want kids DONT have them!!!!!

suzy diamond on

Good for her! At least she knows what she wants or doesn’t want!

Holiday on

Not everyone is cut out to be a mom. It’s the biggest sacrifice you will get make and it’s smart when peo

Nancy on

Nikita, yes it does. It changes the whole way she looks any other time.

Gorgeous Seexxee Mee on

Good for her, (them) on their honesty! I know some women who never wanted kids, but had them anyway. They always thought and felt it was the thing to do. Family, pier pressure, etc. To me, it’s ridiculous to allow outside influences decide how a person should make the biggest decision of their life! I have a twin sister, who wanted children very bad. 5 years into her marriage, her hubby dropped a bomb- that he didnt want children- ever! Came as a huge shock to her, along with the rest of us! No, they are no longer together.

Cindy on

If they don’t want kids, then it is their choice.

JudyKaY on

I can’t believe the ignorant comments in here. Some don;t know Portia should be worried about having kids because she is gay and married to a gay person. I guess they never heard of sperm donors? ANother person who thinks a woman is vile because she was relieved she had a miscarriage? Besides looking for pity because SHE herself had a miscarriage, the woman who was relieved could have gone and got an abortion but she didn’t ,so it seems maybe a higher power decided that she should not have this baby? Women were not put on earth just to have babies. If a woman does not want , or dislikes kids, why should she have them? People have a right to decide if they have a dog so why should an important thing like having a child be any different? We read everyday about women who murder their kids, beat them, let the boyfriends beat them, starve them to death and on and on. Do these women who think women should be forced to have babies think this kind of thing is OK just as long as you act like a “real woman” and pop out a kid?? I feel sorry for the kids that these women have. Being raised to a brood mare doesn’t do much for a childs se;f esteem. Womens roles are different than they were 2oo yrs. ago. We are allowed to have an educartion and to vote and to make our own choices and they invented a thing called marriage so that we can actually inherit lol I feel sorry for the demented women who think their main duty in life is to bare kids and you are not a real woman unless you do. I do not understand why any woman would think that way? Why would they want a child being born to people who didnt want them and would mistreat it?? I think they are all a little short on brains. I have 2 kids and wanted them both and when I had a stillborn I had my tubes tied. It was a done deal. Did this make less a woman because I had my tubes tied ? Because I heard all that nonsense when I had to ge ta hysterectopmy, I wasn’t a real woman anymore LOL I didn’t turn into a weirwolf for cripes sakes. We all make choices and if not having kids is best for you then you go for it and ignore the baby making machines.

dmgg711 on

So much for those against same-sex marriage because a traditional marriage is with a man and woman with the object to having children. Some couples can’t have children, others don’t want children and those who do have a child or children ignore or mistreat their children whereas some murder them.

Some women have a child or children to hold on to a man and think they can force the guy to stay but doesn’t usually work so they have a child they are stuck with. So what’s the outcome for that child?

I have children and I love mine but I have seen parents favor one and ignore or abuse the other, really heartbreaking.

Anonymous on

It is more morally repsonsible to choose not to have children than to have more than two children. Overpopulation is the cause of widespread unemployment, crime, famine and wars over living space and resources. Babies are cute and fun, but they deserve a better world, not an overpopulated one.

lulu on

probably a good idea, as the kid would be confused anyway growing up in that kind of family

Teri Ayers on

I agree. I never wanted kids. Some of my friends said that is selfish. I believe it is responsible. If you call me up on Thurs. and say let’s go out of town or camping, I’m there. I am selfish with my time and do not believe in thrusting that upon children. Let other people procreate. Infact, when I see a woman walking down the street with 4 or more kids, I say she had her share and mine.

Maya on

Love it! So true to herself and not to what “society” dictates.

sunshine on

I applaud her for her honesty! It really grates on me when girls say things like they are real women. Not having a child by choice is NOT selfish nor does it mean you are immature. There are many people who are horrible parents because they have them for the wrong reason.

MollyF on

It’s so great to hear this. I choose not to have kids, and I get grief from people about it. I have a lot of personal issues and I just think I wouldn’t be a good Mom. I love kids, but I just don’t think I’d be capable to have one.

Selfenchanted on

Good for her, stepping up to the plate on this.

Joanna on

Good that she is not letting the pressure get to her. She has a right to do what SHE wants….NOt what society tries pushes for.
As for myself….
I would not bring children into today’s world.

trish on

Glad she had the guts to speak her mind and not let other’s dictate to her. Just because one is a woman don’t mean automaticly that she would want kids.

CuteP on

At least she is honest!

Ann on

That’s fine, not everyone has to have kids.

Madison Verem on

Thank God finally a woman who has something going on upstairs who is a thinker and not just a Breeder.
Finally a smart beautiful honest woman who knows what she wants and does not follow the Herd of women who have a kid because they think it will get them attention for one min
I totally agree with her I dont want kids either and I wont be pressured into having them . Fact most women are single mothers now and most of them are broke . Its a losers game if you stay childless concentrate on your work make money and forget having kids its a waste of time.

lovely123 on

Madison V, I am sure your mother loved you at one point in your life.

Sue on

Kudos to her, she’ll be happier for it. I’m so glad I didn’t have kids, I can take vacations whenever I want and I don’t have boomerang kids and grandkids living with me like so many do now. Plus, the world is overpopulated and people need to stop having kids anyway!

LInda on

I suppose for some people it is societal pressure, but for others it is the fear of ‘well what if I change my mind in 10 years… and then it is too late’. It is almost impossible to adopt a child where I am from if you are in your late 40s. A friend in her late 40s has been dealing with serious grief due to this. So while celebrities always have more options open to them the rest of us should think about more than just societal pressures.

Anonymous on

A lot of people should really think before they have children.

I applaud she and Ellen for not giving into the pressure of having children just because it’s the thing to do.

nikkitytom on

Times have changed. When I was in my twenties and thirties, I was ferociously criticized for my honest admission … that I didn’t want kids, wasn’t interested in motherhood and wasn’t going to cave in to other people’s expectations.

Have I regretted it … as I was direly warned. Not for a moment. I’m a senior and I have been a wonderful teacher and loved teaching heart and soul. But I would have been a resentful and trapped mother.

We have the choice now … and that’s wonderful. If you’re going to be a mother, then go into with your eyes wide open and be the best Mom you can be. A good mother not only has my respect. … she has my awe. My own mother was a stellar example of motherhood, Just wonderful!

Shkurte on

So refreshing to hear of a celebrity couple not crazy to adopt or have a bunch of kids. If more people were honest with themselves we would have a much better world. All of these celebreties posing nude with their pregnant bellies, saying LOOK, LOOK AT ME, LOOK WHAT I HAVE ACCOMPLISHED. Like having babies is such an achievement.

Melissa on

“I should” comes up a lot in our young adult/adult lives: I should go to college and get a degree; I should get a job. I should get married. They pan out or they don’t. Point is, life doesn’t always go the way you expect, and although, as one commenter said ‘children are forever’, a mental list of advantages and disadvantages is not how one makes that determination. Not trying to be flippant, but sometimes peoples’ decision to not have kids IS selfish. Sit on that.

TJ on

@Melissa, the reasons to not have a child may be selfish but so what… There is nothing wrong with wanting your life a certain way.

Bonnie on

What bothers me is when I say “I dont want any children” and all I hear back is “you’ll change your mind when the right guy comes along”. Why? Why would a guy change my mind? If I dont want children for reasons that are my own than why is it so hard for others to understand? I am 30 years old and I have never had a moment in my life where I longed to be a mother. In fact the only time I feel the least bit rushed to make that decision is when people tell me that my clock is ticking and I may miss the mark. It is unwanted pressure. I have a niece and a nephew and I am happy with that. Society has made things out to be very black and white. Women in their place and Men in theirs. This is not 1950 we are able to go in many different directions without people glaring or scoffing at us. I will not have kids and if I ever want a child I will adopt.

Kirsty on

You shut the fuck up!! The woman is not a heartless bitch because she was relieved about a miscarriage!! She just didn’t want kids!! I myself wouldbe relieved as well it is completely natural for not all women to want kids if it wasnt we would be popping them out like crazy!! Why the hell do you think animals reject their young oh because they don’t want them some animals don’t want offspring too just like some women!! Grow a fucking brain and some respect christsake!!

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