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Poppy Montgomery’s Blog: Why Is Everything I Crave on the ‘No’ List?

02/21/2013 at 11:00 AM ET

Poppy Montgomery's Blog: Pregnancy Cravings
This sweet face reminds me it’s all worthwhile

Thanks for welcoming Poppy Montgomery!

Best known for starring as Samantha Spade on Without a Trace, she’ll be back as Det. Carrie Wells on the second season of Unforgettable, returning to CBS this summer.

In addition to her acting work, Montgomery is also producing a show, Sworn to Silence, for Lifetime.

Montgomery is mom to son Jackson Phillip Deveraux, 5, and is expecting her second child this spring.

She can be found on Twitter @PoppyMontgomery.

In her latest blog, the actress offers a funny take on why pregnancy has become “an endless list of ‘can’ts’ and ‘don’ts.'”

I was watching a movie the other night set in the ’60s. There was a woman sitting at the bar. She was heavily pregnant, smoking a cigarette and enjoying a martini. She looked … well, glamorous and relaxed.

I am sitting here heavily pregnant … and that’s where the similarity to the woman in the bar ends. I don’t look glamorous at all. I am not smoking a cigarette and certainly not enjoying any martinis lately … quite the contrary. This is 2013, not 1960 and even though my mother did it — and her mother before her — in today’s world I am forbidden to partake of or indulge in just about everything I find enjoyable.

From sushi to soft cheese and deli meat to caffeine … forget the martini!

Why has pregnancy become such an endless list of “cant’s” and “don’ts” subject to private and public scrutiny for nine (actually 10, but who’s counting?!) months, in the belief that anything less than total abstinence of all vices is negligent and irresponsible?

“Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.” – Rita Rudner

To add insult to injury, I cry. A lot. Ridiculously and easily.

Last weekend, Jackson and I were driving home and I saw a dead deer in the road. I started bawling. Embarrassing, uncontrollable sobs choking me as I clung to the steering wheel. Tears welling up and rolling down my cheeks so fast I could hardly see. Jackson was staring at me, mystified and speechless.

Despite his concern and my ridiculously glistening and wracked appearance, all I could think of was that poor, innocent deer lying dead on the side of the road and its baby waiting in the trees for Mummy to come back. I was beside myself.

As we got closer, I realized the (dead) deer that I had worked myself into such frenzy over was nothing but a pile of leaves blown up against a rock. With a flip of a coin, everything was fine again. A smile playing lightly on my lips I broke into a hummy little rendition of “You Are My Sunshine.” Jackson joined in and we drove home as if nothing had happened.

Hormones? Temporary insanity? Self-flagellation? No raw fish? You tell me!

“Of course I can do this. I’m pregnant, not brain-damaged. My condition doesn’t change my personality.” – Christina Feehan, Ruthless Game

Am I so large that I need a razor on a stick to shave my legs? Good lord, no (or not yet)! The very thought makes cry. Everything makes me cry.

The other day I started crying on the phone with the bakery shop assistant because the cupcakes I had ordered (the ones I pretend I bake for Jackson’s school) were not going to arrive on the day they were supposed to — and I had paid extra for fast delivery!

I sobbed on the phone to this poor young man about my bad back, my cankles and how all I wanted was some sushi, a nice soft cheese and a bowl of sugary Froot Loops (but with almond milk because I have developed a pregnancy allergy to dairy).

I told him that I thought my teeth were going to fall out from lack of calcium and I wailed about my lack of sleep and bizarre dreams.

I ranted about my new obsession with the scent of eucalyptus oil and the desire to pour hot sauce over everything I eat (I hate hot sauce!) and how the smell of cooked meat makes me gag.

When I asked him if he was married and had children and he said no, I cried even harder. When he asked me if I needed him to call an ambulance, I shouted at him and told him I wasn’t ill — I was simply pregnant!

The kind, sweet bakery shop assistant listened, bless him, to all of it. The rambling outpourings of a hysterical, hormonal, semi-deranged, pregnant psychopath. Finally, I blew my nose loudly, popped a candy into my mouth and thanked him for his time. I promptly hung up and sent him flowers.

A touch over the top? Probably. However, the cupcakes did arrive later that afternoon just in time for Jackson’s bake sale. And, like turning a page, everything was back to normal. I resumed humming “You Are My Sunshine” and reflected on how lucky it was that Jackson was at school and not around to witness the clear evidence of his mother’s absurd and irrational mental state.

Poppy Montgomery's Blog: Pregnancy Cravings
Jackson keeping me motivated!

“Complete abstinence is easier than perfect moderation.” – Saint Augustine

Why is everything I crave on the “no” list?

My cravings are as follows:

- Sushi
– Stinky Brie cheese
– Margaritas (with extra salt)
– Tuna
– Shellfish
– Caffeine
– Anything sugary, fatty, processed … If I could deep-fry Twinkies for breakfast, I would … but alas, Hostess went out of business (and yes, I cried over that too!).

On the “no” list? …

ALL OF THE ABOVE!!!

Early in my pregnancy, after weeks of abstaining from most of the foods I crave, I was miserable and losing my mind.

I had just been to Paris for the very first time on a work trip, and as I walked through Saint-Germain, everywhere I turned was a street café displaying heaping piles of oysters and shellfish on ice. Don’t even get me started on the gorgeous cheese plates, endless champagne, foie gras and steak tartare that I reluctantly declined, all in the name of pregnancy.

When I arrived back in the U.S. at a full three months pregnant, craving dreams plagued me — little pieces of sushi talked to me in my sleep. Oysters lined up and did the samba. But it was the dancing, mariachi-singing margarita calling my name that pushed me over the edge and sent me flying to the phone early one morning to call my mother (crying of course)!

My mother had many philosophies as we were growing up. Moderation in all things, for one, including moderation itself. She explained to me on the phone (as I ranted about talking sushi and dancing cocktails) that while moderation eliminates extremes, it can also become recursive, and that we should moderate how we moderate and not become too worried about moderating everything.

After this incredibly confusing advice, she concluded with: Listen to your body, follow your instincts, happiness is healthiness and always maintain your dignity.

With my mother’s words ringing in my ears I decided to turn my frown upside down and relaxed a little.

I am fully committed to doing things “right” — I exercise with as much dignity as my newly-acquired shape will allow, I chew through countless plates of raw vegetables and trail mix, I don’t stay out late and I have, of course, given up my beloved margaritas (no matter how often they sing to me).

I do yoga and attempt stress control — BUT (still listening to my body) I rise each morning from my cramped sleeping position and off-balance hormones, and even though it’s on the “no” list, I allow myself a coffee. A GOOD coffee. Imported from France.

I allow myself the occasional Big Mac with super-size fries (heavenly!) because it makes me HAPPY. And there is an important piece of pregnancy that sometimes gets lost in all the stress of “cant’s” and “don’ts”: Be happy, and allow ourselves enjoyment during this miraculous time.

Stress and anxiety have created many more health problems than a stinky, runny cheese and a good cup of coffee.

In conclusion, I lift a tiny glass of chilled rosé to all mothers and mothers-to-be out there! To fat, to water-balloon feet, to having to pee every five seconds, to the heartburn, the charley horses and the restless legs, to bizarrely vivid dreams and of course, to those tiny heels that jab under the diaphragm.

May Eileithyia, goddess of childbirth and labor pains, be always on our side!

– Poppy Montgomery

P.S. I am finally on Twitter! Please follow me @PoppyMontgomery.

More from Poppy’s PEOPLE.com blog series:

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Showing 115 comments

lovely123 on

Did she order a little whine with her cheese? Goodness, isn’t she older? I would be happy just to be pregnant.

Samantha on

I agree what a whiner! Gee what about just growing a baby..not everything is about food and drinks for goodness sake!!

And yes if there’s a chance a raw cheese or alcoholic drink could interfere with the baby’s development why chance it? Ever? There’s enough babies being born with defects, abnormalities, etc that have nothing to do with the ‘no’ list but why even bother doing anything on the no list that could potentially harm the baby?

I’m pregnant for the third time now and seriously ice cream, brownies, sparkling water with grape juice, baked French fries, there’s plenty you get to indulge in when youre pregnant. Just stop being a brat and whining about not eating raw cheese or drinks…seriously?!

Growing a baby is a miracle!! Everyone is so darn self centered these days. Wah I can’t drink martinis, Wah I want a hot dog, Wah Wah Wah.

Some people should not be parents and I remeber correctly isn’t she the one who lets her kid have fits in the store?

Mori8412 on

Thank you Thank you Thank you! Anyone that is criticizing a pregnant woman for indulging a little bit has CLEARLY never been pregnant or needed to function on a daily basis. Only you know what is right for you and your baby.

I’m currently pregnant and worried about blue cheese…my favorite cheese that I’m of course craving…I had a bit on a salad and worried about my decision but you can’t do that to yourself.

Being happy is so important during these LONG 9 (10) months.

anne on

What a whiny spoiled brat! You are a mother and mothers sacrifice. Get over yourself!

Anon_in_TX on

Truthfully, I don’t see anything bratty about this blog – I thought it was cute! Things that are not normally a big deal can magnify into VERY big deals when you’re expecting, especially thanks to off the chart hormone levels.

Loved the anecdotes! Hang in there!

Melanie on

Some of you ladies really need to get off your high horses and remove the stick from your ass. That’s all I’m going to say about that.

Poppy, congrats on your pregnancy. I always enjoy your blogs, so funny and light-hearted. Best to you and your family.

DEEDEE on

Lighten up people! She’s just having some fun with it by making FUN OF HERSELF. Get a grip folks!!!!

DMAY on

Come on people I think she is just bringing a little humor to the situation.

I have a 21/2 yr old and I think back to being pregnant and craving and wanting everything that I shouldnt or couldnt have. I swear everything looked so good – things I normally wouldnt even think about.

Lighten up ladies. I dont think she is at all taking for granted her precious blessing and miracle, she just bringing a humorous side to it. It is indeed a long 10 months and we all want whats best for our babies, but hecks yeah we miss our little indulgences.

ecl on

I am so damn sick of this idea that women should never be allowed to complain about motherhood and pregnancy! They are hard!! It does not mean that one is not grateful or that one does not think it is worth it. And mothers do not need to be totally self-sacrificing for their children. That is a lame ideology that keeps women pitted against each other rather than supportive.

I fully support any woman’s right and need to discuss the hardships of these experiences rather than just the rainbows and sunshines.

Hea on

Caffeine is not on the no-list in my country.

Tracy on

I love this post. Poppy you are hilarious! Congrats to you on being honest and doing so in such a well written funny way! Treat yourself when you need to! Have a cry too!

For those women who called you “whiny” Lighten UP! Everybody deserves to vent! I don’t care how old you are, what your financial situation is….you could be the Queen of England for all I care..You have a right and it makes me sad that women don’t stand by each other more..what a shame!

Thanks for your honesty and for sharing your journey with us!

Melody on

Some of you need to grow a sense of humour! Poppy is clearly making fun of herself!

And I agree with the poster who said that complaining about something does not mean you are ungrateful. I bet most of you complain about your husbands sometimes, or your children, or your parents. I bet that doesn’t mean you aren’t grateful for them?

Gain some perspective and above all, CALM DOWN.

Carolyn on

Wow! Such haters. Guys if you don’t like her or her posts, don’t read them. She isn’t really whining, she is just trying to inject a little humor in her situation. Lighten up or go away!

caprigirl60 on

Poppy, I thought this was hysterical. That poor young guy at the bakery. I couldn’t stop laughing.

Glad you’re relaxing a little bit and allowing yourself an occasional treat. Nine months is a long time to go without at least some of your favorites. I didn’t give up my morning coffee either and my son was just fine.

Love your blog.

CanMommyEat on

She isn’t whiny – she is human and being pregnant isn’t a piece of cake. Kudos to her for being truthful and witty.

Jessica on

Hilarious, Poppy! Thanks so much for the truthful, comedic blog post. I haven’t been pregnant, yet!, but I have forwarded the blog on to so many of my pregnant friends who look both ways before even mentioning their anxiety in regards to their “cankles.”

cynlee on

Pregnant women today should eat what they want, when they want. All these rules…good god….whose coming up with this stuff. Women have been having babies for centuries…healthy babies I might add…the experts today? give your head a shake.

Also, I think Poppy is great; she’s not whining, she’s being honest.

Me on

She’s not whiny! Being pregnant is hard and while yes, Mothers DO have to sacrifice, sometimes a bit of the old life creeps in and its easy to miss! It doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful – just human!

Being pregnant the second time (as I am) is tough. The first time, you’re amazed at every hiccup and case of heartburn. The second you’re tired from chasing after little legs, working, not sleeping as much as in your first pregnancy etc….

Let’s all just agree that motherhood is tough and support instead of judging!

pdbowen on

Thank you, I am 3 months pregnant with my second child and this time it has been so much more difficult than my pregnancy with my son (8 years prior). I am so incredibly grateful to be pregnant, especially since we were able to do this naturally (my son was done through fertility treatments).

However, the morning sickness wasn’t just morning, it was morning, noon and night for weeks! And now the crying, and I don’t mean just little bitty tears, I mean full out, uncontrollable sobs for no reason, completely out of the blue.

I attempt to follow the rule book to a T but I have found that if my body craves something (with the exception of alcohol, thankfully I don’t crave that) having something in small moderation once in awhile keeps me from going completely into the world of pregnancy craziness.

Anyone who is criticizing needs to remember that pregnancy affects every woman differently. Just because they aren’t crying like crazy, feeling wonderful all the time doesn’t mean that every other pregnant woman is as lucky.

Also, as long as the pregnant woman is thinking of the best interest of her child AND herself then she normally cannot go wrong. Stressing yourself out while pregnant can be even more dangerous than partaking in a sandwich with a little mayo on it, or having a salad dressing with some feta.

Good luck on the remainder of your pregnancy.

Sara on

You can eat soft cheese as long as it is pasteurized!

VMomof4 on

The holier than thou people that are saying “stop whining” and “you’re a spoiled brat” need to get a life. Everything about us doesn’t change just because we are pregnant!

I for one still longed for many of the no list items at least for the first few months. If you didn’t, good for you but don’t judge! If you haven’t been pregnant, SHUT UP!

How about a little support for your fellow woman?????

Mandyarn on

Wow! I didn’t think it was whiny at all. I thought it was cute. I drank caffiene, ate tuna on occasion, and sweets and both of my babies turned out great! Women have been doing this for centuries.

Donna on

Wah, wah, wah. Poor little me. First its “Ooh look at me! I’m special cuz I’m having a baby!” Then, boo hoo I can’t eat my favorite stuff. She needs to quit complaining. Ugh.

Meg on

Oh my goodness! She’s just being honest-and pretty hilarious! I just had my 4th baby and I really enjoyed her post! We all struggle with the do’s and don’ts and we try to make the decisions that are right for ourselves and our babies!

A lot of really judgmental posts…obviously not what Poppy needs to hear. Her honesty was brave…and funny! Thanks, Poppy, for an enjoyable blog!

Kalalu on

I didn’t think it was so much whiny as it was funny. I am going through a similar thing, 21 weeks pregnant and craving alcohol which I never drink when not pregnant (and certainly havent since being pregnant).

It’s weird how your hormones change everything about you. But I say she go ahead and have those dang Fruit Loops. I went two weeks of eating Cheerios every night before bed. No big deal.

CanadianMom on

LMAO!! She is so funny! I never knew! She’s not whining, she’s hilarious!

Ty's mom on

I know how she feels. I’m 3 months pregnant and I would kill for a sandwich with some deli ham or turkey. I did it once with my son and felt guilty. And I would have loved to order swordfish when I went out for Valentines Day.

I swear it’s the whole “you can’t have it” that makes it seem more appetizing.

Susan on

Hilarious and endearing. Best of luck to you!

lkynluv on

If you crave it…snack on it. She’s funny and it’s her experience – not anyone else’s.

My doc said I couldn’t have pre-packaged deli meat. But if it was sliced at the deli counter you are OK. The reason for the “no deli meat” rule is that you don’t know if the turkey is slaughtered, cooked and sliced in the same facility which could cause cross contamination.

Once the meat makes it to the deli it has already been cooked and they slice it for you – no risk in cross contamination :-) Enjoy!

Lulu on

Do your research! Brie is fine. Any cheese sold in a US grocery store is pasteurized. A cup of coffee is fine too. Stop perpetuating these pregnancy myths.

Melinda on

I thought I’d eat organic and really healthy foods while pregnant. But I eat almost whatever I crave because the first trimester is about trying to make it through each day. All I want lately is sugary drinks and salmon sushi! No more spinach but instead it’s iceberg lettuce. Hope to get back to healthy eating in a few wks once the 2nd trimester begins and the naseous feelings lessen.

lizzie on

She’s a funny lady and I enjoy reading her posts.

Kelly on

I’ve always found Poppy’s blogs for People to be completely delightful and this one is no different! :D

While I absolutely don’t agree with everything that mothers to be of yesteryear used to indulge in-hard alcohol, cigs-doctors, advice books and society as a whole has reached ridiculous heights of hysteria concerning pregnancy, infants and childrearing.

No one trusts their internal instincts anymore for their own bodies and babies and the result has been an entire generation of parents who are afraid to raise their own kids w/o the ‘help’ of books written by total strangers aka so-called experts!

I co-sign 100% of what Poppy and some of the other ladies here have said. There’s NOTHING wrong with the occasional glass of wine (after the 1st trimester of course) or the piece of smelly soft cheese if that’s what makes you happy :) It’s not going to do irreparable damage to your baby; if you think that, then how do you explain the hundreds of thousands of the perfectly happy & healthy babies born across Europe every year?

It’s time to put down all the books and listen to out own bodies and instincts.

nadia on

Who are all these bitchy, annoying women who are calling her a complainer and a brat? Get a grip! She’s funny. It’s something ALL pregnant women complain about once and while.

And hormonal crying? It’s happened to us all. So be honest with ourselves, we were all Poppy at one time or another!

Keep em’ coming Poppy :)

CCex on

She’s a whiner. Stfu and eat some deli meat and have a small coffee. You’ll pull through. Women like that are so annoying.

CCex on

I do not need to support someone based on the sole fact that we both have vaginas.

megan on

So what happened to that rich Microsoft guy she was dating, who is the father of this baby ? Did they quietly break up or something ?

Michele on

First of all — I LOVE Christine Feehan! HA!

Secondly, I’m 35 weeks pregnant tomorrow. I feel every single one of these pains! I love, love, love my margaritas (on ice with extra salt AND homemade authentic Sangria [not together though, lol]). I think no one gets this except a pregnant woman that also craves all these things! I want chocolate milk nonstop and i am NOT a chocolate fan!!!!

Good luck Poppy, I hope to see more of your writing, because honestly – it’s as real as it gets. Blessings and light!! lol

megan on

On Poppy’s Christmas post, she’s holding a glass of alcohol (or what looks like it). Since she’s expecting in the spring, that seems odd that she was still drinking alcohol at Christmas yet complaining now that she can’t drink.

Stacy on

chunk light tuna is ok in moderation while pregnant. Brie is out, but you could do a parmesan or mozzarella and it would be fine. Caffeine is also ok in moderation as well. yes, raw fish is a no-no, but there are plenty of types of fish you can eat while pregnant while doing so in moderation.

And while you should not over indulge in sweets and processed foods, there is nothing wrong with having a sweet or processed crap once in a great while.

Katie on

A lot of women on here say nothing but negative about the celebrity bloggers. I’m tired of reading your dumb comments.

Poppy is right. It’s hard being pregnant and craving something that isn’t allowed. I like Poppy and I wish her the best. All you haters are probably fat, ugly and stuck sitting behind the computer. Except me of course!

Brandi on

Wow…crabby much CCex?? For some women, pregnancy is a breeze, and for others, not so easy.

I enjoyed her blog and found it funny as I have been there and understand what she’s going through. I give her credit for thinking about the well-being of her baby before she eats and trying to go the super healthy route..those cravings are a monster sometimes and it’s not always the easiest thing to do.

I also find condescending, bitchy women like YOU annoying and dissapointing. How about you take your own advice and just STFU??

Shelley on

Lovely123, Samantha and anne – bitchy much! She is making fun of herself and her situation, get a grip.

Brandi on

I highly doubt that she would write a blog about missing margaritas and post a picture of her pregnant belly with a glasd of alcohol in her hand. Lol I find as I get older that common sense seems to be less and less common…smh.

Melanie on

Megan – the family photos of past holidays featuring her as a blonde that she shared in her last blog – is that what you’re referring to? She’s had darker hair for two years now for Unforgettable. And yes, she’s still with her boyfriend. Stop trying to stir the pot, it makes you look petty.

Jen from TN on

Pregnancies are different, just like us. Maybe she did not crave those things in her first pregnancy. Poppy, decaf coffee will help that craving.

I craved chocolate ice cream, bananas and double stuffed oreos with my 2nd pregnancy. My first, all I craved was garden tomatoes, wild cherries and tangerines. Plus, I was sick the whole time. But with my 2nd child I was not sick at all.

Marky on

I am starting to believe there are so many more problems among children being born now because young mothers are so hellbent on making certain there are NO problems with their babies! They freak out about everything they eat, everything they drink, every move they make, and everything they think.

The fact is among the children born about 40-50 years ago, we saw less Autism, less almost everything than we do now, and mothers basically gave up cigarettes, alcohol, and raw fish…not everything including Froot Loops! In fact, sometimes, if there was something like that we loved, we ate a small bowl every day, “because I’m pregnant and I’m in a special time of my life! I’m making a baby!” Most of us cooked from scratch, so we had sandwiches made from leftovers, not lunchmeat, but if we wanted a bologna sandwich once in awhile, we ate it.

Guess I just don’t get the idea that you have to give up everything except water, a prescribed list of acceptable foods, and otherwise, it seems to be a contest about who can give up the most and still keep a smile on their face. Why not just have a laugh sometimes, and be supportive? She’s not out getting whacked, and living on raw milk products and raw fish, and demanding everyone say she’s right!

After the baby comes, if it is not glued to one side or the other (of only the mother; father did his job at conception and is no longer necessary) and preferably with a breast in the baby’s mouth every moment, then mom is being negligent and deserves to have DHS take her child away! If the child isn’t still sleeping with the parents at age 5, someone has done a crappy job somewhere along the line, according to a whole lot of you, and God forbid if she didn’t have the baby at home in a toy pool under a freaking tree, with 30 of her closest friends in attendance. WTH!

Can any of you get back to being happy for any woman who is pregnant, get back to being supportive, and saying, “Hey! I know you are doing the best you can, and I am here for you!”, and stop with the constant criticism about even a joke about how hard it can be for some people? I may not have gone through a hard time when I was pregnant any of the times I was, other than #3 was almost born on #4’s b’day, but I’m glad most of you weren’t around to “support” me!

Brandi on

Agreed Katie! I wish there was some way to permanently block people that are repeat offenders with the super negative comments…it’s nice to be able to read other people’s thoughts and experiences minus the ones that have nothing but negative and rude remarks to “contribute”! Find some joy or some Jesus in your lives!!

Brandi on

CCex, I wish that you (and your vagina) would find something better to do with your time than posting mean comments.

Poppy is funny and truthful…you, on the other hand, are rude and annoying. I feel sorry for miserable people like you that have such an ugly disposition in life.

Bugsmum on

Love this blog!!!

Gosh I remember wanting things I ‘shouldn’t’ have when I was pregnant. Missing sushi was such a big deal for me that my husband was under strict instructions not to return to the hospital without some after baby arrived lol.

Good luck for the end of your pregnancy and bring on the Sushi, stinky cheese and everything else you crave!

Amandanjack on

Lulu, where did you ever hear that every cheese sold in U.S. grocery stores is pasteurized? I routinely buy unpasteurized cheese in a regular, not specialty grocery store and I live in Cincinnati, which is by no means the culinary capital of the U.S.

J_Boyd on

I love Without A Trace. I love Poppy’s honesty. Especially as a mother.

Mothers are so ridiculously hard on each other no matter what the topic is. You had an epidural? You drugged your baby, you’re weak. You didn’t have an epidural? You’re a hero, you’re a saint. You used formula? You didnt give your child the nutrients they deserved. You breast fed? You’re goddamn Mother Teresa. And so on and so forth.

Sometimes you need an epidural. Pre-eclamptic woman are actually recommended to have it, even begged to, as it helps to lower blood pressure. Some woman cannot breastfeed, not matter how hard they try. Latching problems, pain, infection and lack of milk supply are all valid reasons to opt for formula.

And lest we forget that “breast is best” only, and I said ONLY, applies if mother is eating heathy and properly according to the food guide. And formula had come a long way since we were all kids and is actually a very heathy and completely acceptable alternative to breast milk.

That rant about my issues with mothers against mothers being aside, I have one issue with this post that has insured that I will never read Poppy’s blog or anything else about her ever again. And it has nothing to do with being a mother or being pregnant.

FOIE GRAS?!?! NOT acceptable. At least not in my books. The forcible feeding of food that will purposely make a duck or a goose ill is so morally wrong, it makes me want to cry. People believe that torturing the poor animal makes its liver taste better. That fact that people still eat it, and still treat it as some sort of specialty, a-list type of delicacy makes me sick. It is cruelty to animals.

I am so dissapointed that someone that I liked so much, that I related to so much, had difficulty turning done such a disgusting dish.

I am sure someone will have something negative to say about this comment. I cannot believe that no one else had a problem with foie gras enough to mention it.

I hope this baby is delivered safely and is happy and healthy, but I will personally never read anything about this woman ever again.

alcatraz on

I am also pregnant and really wanted empathize but I have to agree with the other posts… that was quite a bit of whining. Maybe focus on all the positive aspects of being pregnant?

I agree, quite a bit of the changes suck… but then the biggest change of all, that our baby is developing inside of us, is a pretty awesome one.

Who cares about cheese, wine or sushi… I can live without them for 9 months. I will just ask my husband to have a big delicious bottle of imperial pale ale ready for me after delivery.

kjacqm on

Love this blog…real and honest but obviously thoughtful and by no means “ungrateful”. Women need to support each other no matter how they feel or react to pregnancy…there is no true normal! I get sick of the preachy crap about you should be reveling in the new life in your body and be all Mother Earth now.

FYI…I am enduring ongoing infertility workup, have no kids and would love to get pregnant. And I hope if I do, I stay as real as Poppy and don’t turn into a pseudo-Mother Theresa.

sharon on

I just about peed my pants laughing! I didn’t cry at the drop of a hat till I was pregnant and to this day, I cry at everything! I cried cuz I thought I had to stop drinking coffee. I cried cuz I couldn’t eat sushi. I cried when my waist disappeared.

I don’t think she is whining at all. She is just being real. Everyone is different.

Penelope on

She should be allowed to complain. Having crazy hormones is not easy. Melanie summed up my thoughts nicely.

Anam on

I don’t mean to be a hater, honestly, but i don’t think this article does pregnancy any justice. I am 24, pregnant for the first time, it was unplanned and i’m in my 6th month now..i’ve always been terrified of childbirth but pregnancy so far has been an easy journey, dare i say.

I do eat healthily. I have indulged myself quite a lot too and practiced caution at the same time..My crime has probably been that i didn’t completely give caffeine up and have overindulged in sugar at times, but i do serially check my blood glucose levels and havent gained a lot of weight so far..

I’ve felt so in control and such a sense of calm since getting pregnant, i’ve never had this feeling of true oblivion. Its been one of those divine blessings for me that i feel taught me to let go with the understanding that not everything is in our hands, and we need to stop acting like control freaks all the time. Some things you just need to let mother nature take care of. I’ve learnt so much and i don’t fret or get anxious over small, superficial stuff now like i used to before.

There is plenty you can indulge in while pregnant and beating yourself up over having a big mac or a box of brownies is seriously being unfair to yourself! Granted i’ve learnt a lot of this from my mom who is my caretaker/nanny lol atm :-).

She fixes all my meals and lets me have a good cry too when i need it. She always told me stress and fretting was far worse for the baby than anything i could eat! She’d also jokingly say it was indirectly the baby’s cravings and that they had to be fulfilled :-), she taught me discipline and when i’d had a bit too much chocolate and go for more saying, well the baby’s asking for it, she’d say well its time you started to tame his cravings, you won’t always let him have candy and chocolate now would you!

Just don’t sweat the small stuff, but do stay away from alcohol and cigarettes is what i would suggest! And yes certain cheeses and fish you shouldn’t have but theres plenty that you CAN have!

To all moms out there, keep yourselves aware, read books, you’ll know of the things you can’t eat and plenty of things that you can! And theres only a handful of stuff in the no-list and a lot in the can do-list!

kripkeownsme on

I’m sorry, any woman who has ever been pregnant who professes she never had an uncontrollable craving from the “can’t” list is flat out lying.

Holy crap, climb off your crosses, ladies, it’s completely ridiculous in 2013 to act like pregnancy is nothing but a big fat blessing all the time.

Lisa on

I think she was just writing a tongue-in-cheek blog. Woman who have been pregnant probably understand all the changes the body goes through, the cravings. She was making fun of herself with the wild hormones. I don’t think she was being whiny, I think she was just giving pregnant women a laugh.

CCex on

Do you have a hard on for me?

I’ve been pregnant several times. Still find her annoying. If she wants deli meat then maybe she should read and see that if its stored or heated to the appropriate temperatures its fine to eat.

Then perhaps she’d look up caffeine while she’s at it and see that up to 200mg a day is fine.

Perhaps she’d read up on sushi too and realize that women in Japan still eat while pregnant, get it from a reputable place that follows good safe guidelines and you’ll be fine. While I’m on a roll she should take a gander at some info on wine.

She came off as whiney to me. I am allowed my opinion.

CCex on

Oh and tuna in small amounts is fine, as is Brie. Perhaps she should educate herself before going off on a tangent about what she can’t have.

Maddie on

Poppy, I’m *so* glad you’re back!! This blog was, once again, hilarious! Your story of the dead deer made me cry tears of laughter…as well as your elaborate retelling of the cupcakes :)

I don’t think even pregnancy could force me off coffee, so i totally feel you on that one!

I’m sure many people cried (pregnant or not) when Hostess went out of business. Is the constant pregnancy induced crying kinda like PMS but worse?

Another really enjoyable blog, the minute that bubba pops out, have some one get you sushi & a margarita! You’ve deserved it, girl!

Lindy on

The thing to remember is that you only have that 40 (or so) weeks to set the basic foundation of health for your child’s entire life. Growing a human is hard work!

deb8ablethoughts on

What is wrong with all you people? Being pregnant is hard. Just because someone points that out doesn’t mean they don’t want to be pregnant. I can’t believe the rude comments to this woman Jealous much?

Poppy you are beautiful and yes, it’s hard to give up things you love for 9 months. Don’t let these negative people bother you. What happened to if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all?

Jenn on

Poppy you are so funny! I think some people here may not get your sense of humor, but I think you’re hilarious!

JBT8675 on

You said it all PERFECTLY Melanie!

Congrats Poppy!

Mandy on

Why do women constantly have to belittle another woman? Does it make you feel better about yourselves?

I remember wanting a fountain Coke so bad while I was pregnant which was not normal for me. If I drank soda, it was usually Sprite. I talked to my doctor & she told me that a little caffiene would be fine.

When you’re pregnant your hormones are all over the place & being told you can’t have something makes you want it all the more. Give the woman a break people.

joanne on

What a great breath of fresh air to read before going to work!

Angelica on

Lovely 123, have you ever been pregnant? Doesn’t the exact things she is writing about explain her “wine”? Come on….pregnancy is a blessing 90% of the time, the rest of the time it sucks.

MA momma on

Being 17 weeks pregnant with my 3rd, I can totally relate to Poppy’s blog! I found it funny, and refreshing, and completely tongue-in-cheek. I’ve been known to have a coffee, once I was out of my 1st trimester and only on rare occasions, and her reference to cooked meats making her gag, Good Lord, I’m there with ya sister!

The list of “forbidden” foods and drinks when you are pregnant is long and annoying but it’s only temporary. Keeping a sense of humor about everything is a challenge, but a must. Good on ya Poppy!!

rockslikebob on

Loved this. Loooooved it. Not sure why anyone would be all worked up about someone else craving caffeine, sushi, foie gras, sandwich meat or anything else for that matter unless they were asking you to personally provide it, but maybe I missed the memo?

I craved grape candy, bad Chinese food & cherry icees during one pregnancy, jalapeno poppers, turkey on a bagel & chocolate milk with the other & caffeine every day, ever. So glad some of you weren’t around to yell at me either time or you might have gotten to experience some hormonal rage up close & personal.

lynne on

Poppy, I love you on your show and your blogs are so witty and real. I LOL everytime I read them and laughter is always a very good thing. I hope you’re thinking about making them into a book!

Sue on

Poppy, you have such a wonderful wit!! I didn’t see a single whine or complaint in here – just a realistic assessment of the havoc our precious kiddos can inflict on our bodies and minds. You hang in there.

BTW – love your mom. She sounds like such a wise woman. Moderation in moderation – genius!!

Janeen on

Really people (and I don’t mean the magazine, I mean you)!!! This blog was hilarious and oh so true!! and just because a woman chooses to get pregnant doesn’t mean she can’t moan about it….that itself is part of pregnancy!!! sheesh!

Laurie on

Talk about whiners. So I’m guessing the whiners on here are perfect?

Tia on

Thank you. I also believe women have been having babies for centuries without a no list. If her body craves it, she should partake. I see women smoke, drink, and eat anything they want and still have happy healthy babies.

Tracy on

Wow. People are ruthless. I found this blog hilarious. Poppy was only explaining what her experience with this pregnancy is. She was not whining. She was using humor and being real about what she is going through.

Pregnancy does strange things to you. Give her a break!

Sara on

I agree that being pregnant and sacraficing is hard.

But Poppy should do some research instead of believing myths about what she can and can’t have! ALL cheese in the US is pastuerized, so she can have any soft cheese she wants. There is no risk of having 200mg of caffine a day – that’s a tall Starbucks coffee or FOUR cans of Diet Coke. Tuna is fine up to once a week.

Until pregnant ladies choose to research facts instead of believing paranoid rumors they will continue to deprive themselves.

the only whiners here are the commenters... on

Leave it up to women to hate on women. Shouldn’t we be supporting one another?

I knew pregnant women who hate a certain type of food but were instructed by a doctor to eat it anyway for the babie’s health. Those now-moms complained about having to eat foods they find disgusting, but they still did it. Did I say “shut up, whiner!” or put them down? NO.

Same deal here. Poppy misses having sushi. I know plenty of moms who dreamed of having sushi while pregnant but couldn’t as often or at all. They talked about it all the time because it’s something they missed getting eat while everyone around them is posting about going to a sushi restaurant.

Oh, but I forget. This is a woman so we have to berate her for talking about something that many other women go through. Let’s hate on all the women who wish they could have a drink but are pregnant. All the cool kids are doing it!

skm on

Wow – I’m embarrassed to read all of the rude comments that are directed towards Ms. Montgomery. Motherhood and pregnancy are difficult enough without everyone else sharpening their claws.

Stef on

This made me laugh out loud! Crying over a pile of leaves you thought was a dead deer… hilarious!

Kamea Okalani on

You have every right to whine and complain. Ignore those saying the contrary.

I’ve been exactly where you are (three times to be precise) and it is refreshing to know I was not alone in my feelings. I, too, indulged in moderation. I drank 200mg/day of caffeine (the max amount according to my OB/GYN,) ate deli meat, tuna and a fair share of sugary goodness and those indulgences had no ill-effect on my three boys. They were born perfectly healthy and are well-adjusted, happy, healthy and intelligent 5,3 and 2 year old’s today.

You and your stories are very relate-able and I look forward to reading more from you.

I went through seven years of heartache when I started my journey to motherhood. And while I find my children to be absolute miracles and I thank God every day for them, there are still times where I get frustrated. So on those days, just because I whine and complain about them, does not mean for one second that I do not appreciate what I have.

This is the same for Poppy and every other mother or mom-to-be. No one needs to feel guilty for having feelings of discontent. It is absolutely normal.

Sheri on

First of all, Poppy is an actress with quite a bit of artistic flair, which makes her endearing.

If you’ve read anything she’s written you would know that she takes something that is relevant in her life (like the emotions of pregnancy, in this blog) and exaggerates them to make them funny to those who can relate to a bit of her experience.

It really should have been a bit of a clue when she referred to herself as “heavily pregnant” (when she is obviously only in her second trimester) at the beginning of the blog.

Whi on

I thought this blog was funny and cute and TRUE! Yes, it may have come of as a whiny, but really, who that has been pregnant has NOT had these moments??? I know I did!! Yes, I wanted sushi! I wanted a beer! I hated the smell of chicken!! Pregnancy is great but let’s face it, there are some not so great things about it too, and sometimes it’s nice to just let it out, especially to people who can commiserate with you.

Great article Poppy, and cheers! I had a small glass of wine or two near the end of my pregnancy and felt happy and rebellious :) Granted, by “small” I mean, it was the size of a shot-glass, and I started feeling happy within a couple sips so my husband drank the rest, but it was still good to just let go a little and enjoy something so simple.

Jen S. on

Hilarious take on pregnancy. :)

Anonymous on

I think she is HYSTERICAL and honest… She’s actually a surprisingly good writer and I felt like she’s saying what so many people feel which is a lot more interesting then all of the women who only talk about the magic and the amazingness of birth…. can’t you just say for once that it’s all worth it in the end but sometimes you need to take a breath and vent. I want to sit and have some cheese with her. She seems funny and lovely.

Mel2017 on

Pregnant women that go crazy over the do’s and don’t do your reasearch… The reason they say you can’t have soft cheese is the unpastheurization there is a fix… By pasteurize cheese, in Canada you can buy both just read the label… You want a margarita have a mocktail.. The only differ ce is that there is no alcohol in it and most of the time it does the trick with your cravings! You want a hot dog makes sure its cooked… Caffeine in small moderation is fine just don’t have 10 soda and 5 coffee a day! You want tuna, eat it cooked and do your reasearch some tuna have less mercury than others, plus if you ate lots before you already have mercury in your body already! Not because your pregnant you have to sacrifice everything, you should enjoy your pregnancy and I know how hard it is! Drink lots of water exercise and indulge in your occasional craving…it makes a world of a difference!

Erin on

Couldn’t agree more Melanie! Loved this blog post. :) How refreshing!!!

Me on

Wow, some of you are judgemental. I don’t think she comes off as a whiner at all. Pregnancy can be challenging, especially when other women are always so quick to point fingers. I guess we’re not all perfect Earth mothers so entranced by the miracle happening inside us that we never have a hard moment in the 10 months we’re pregnant.

I think Poppy’s honesty is great ad, as for the rest of you, I think you need to relax. Maybe indulge a little. Will help to not be so crabby.

shea on

@ cynlee… No, you cannot just eat what you want. Take it from someone that knows. On June 23, 2007 I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl named Olivia that died 30 mins later. Cause of death…Listeria, which we had no clue I had contracted. We had no clue as to why our baby died until the autopsy came back. It was something I ate (which we still haven’t pinpointed as to what or where) that killed my beautiful baby girl. So, you must be careful when pregnant.

Denise on

Thank you Poppy! I am 4 months pregnant, and very happy to give up things in the name of being a (new) mother- But it CAN be so depressing at times. Yes I am creating a child, but the child is supposed to be part of me – but is there anything of ME still left? So I allow myself a bowl of Lucky Charms each day (my equivalent of coffee) and do a scaled down version of my normal active routine. Its keeping me happy and THAT makes for a happy baby, a happy mom, and a happy dad :)

swimmerkw on

Some of you people need to get the hell over yourselves! I guess you must be PERFECT mothers who never complain or do anything wrong? I think this was a hilarious take on the things that you aren’t supposed to talk about because of the judgemental judies out there who think we should “just be grateful we even are pregnant”. I say if you don’t like her blog, don’t read it!

Paula on

I thought the post was actually pretty funny.

I’m 21w pregnant and can relate to a lot of what she wrote. Yes, being pregnant and having a baby is amazing and I”m so grateful, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy.

It’s not just what the doctor says you can’t eat or do – at least mine is supportive and doesn’t make me feel like I’m a horrible person if I drink a glass of coke or eat some sugary cereal.

The hard part is how much pressure we put on ourselves, as if not following every single rule (even the ones you didn’t know!) means we’re bad mothers. And the worst is when people around you – relatives, friends and even people you don’t know – say stuff like “oh, you can’t eat that” “omg, are u drinking coffee??”.

Maybe we should just be a little bit more supportive of mothers. We already feel guilty a lot, no need to reinforce that!

Paulina on

I never, ever comment, but I thought she was witty, charming, hilarious and –yes– right. We need to stop being so hard on ourselves; indulging occasionally is a big part of keeping up with good habits, and I find her to be doing everything right. Babies have been born for centuries and we’ve been ok.

Lily on

I thank God for my hysterectomy! Pregnancy sounds like absolute torture.

DeeDee on

Bless your heart! There are too many haters commenting on your blog. As a mother of four sons, I have felt your pain. I for one am proud of you for blogging and expressing your feelings. A baby is a miracle, but the 10 months that they are processing in the womb can be miserable at times. A mother has to have an outlet – so write on sister!!! Hoping that the months ahead bring about a more enjoyable change.

penny on

I love your blog! Please don’t listen to the women with BIG STICK up their As*s.

Are you freaking kidding me??? she’s joking!

I’m pregnant and I’m guilty of having blue cheese, and a cup of coffee every morning.

I did it with my daughter and she’s perfectly healthy, thank God.

anna on

Not eating deli meat? Please. You run a higher risk of getting sick from the dirty nasty fruits and veggies at the store after so many people drop and touch them. I ate soft cheese and deli meat and even raw cookie dough when pregnant….gasp!

Don’t drink smoke or do drugs and your pretty much good. People over think everything in pregnancy as a reason to complain. Aside from the obvious like smoking and alcohol pregnancy doesn’t need to have a zillion food restrictions. Just everything in moderation. Its that simple.

Now quit bitching and eat a Turkey sandwich. Your kid wont grow a third eye. I promise.

Amo on

That was so entertaining!! I really enjoy your blogs!! :D And I’m glad that there wasn’t a baby deer by the dead deer you drove past.

Issa on

It sounds like she is malnourished. I know she is eating healthy, but what I think she is missing is animal fat and cholesterol. Cholesterol is so important for healthy hormones and so is fat. Animal fats and coconut fat is so good for you, for the development of the body and restoration to the body. Add some lard, duck, or tallow into the diet. Avoid vegetable fats, although olive oil is good, but not cooked. Have olive oil raw with bread or salads. Cook with plenty of animal fats, they are more durable than any vegetable fat and they contain omega 3s if you are using animals and animal fats from an organic source.

Issa on

Also, eat a lot of cultured/fermented foods. Having good bacteria is so important to yours and your baby’s health. Good bacteria is not only important for a healthy gut (which is essential to health), but it is also important for your immune system. Sometimes having bad bacteria is what can cause allergies, especially in babies. It is important that you stay away from sugar for the sake of your baby’s ability to correctly digest foods after being born. Sugar will spread bad bacteria. If you want something sweet, eat fruit or sweeten your dessert with maple syrup or maple sugar instead. It is loaded with nutrients that sugar does not have, which is why sugar is so bad for you, because it has to take nutrition away from you in order to be processed which compromises your immune system and your baby’s.

coco on

AMEN to that:)

ANJ on

Most of me thought the blog was funny, but a little bit of me saw the whining (and can understand what some saw).

All of our opinions are based on our life experiences, and as a chronically ill woman who would do anything to be healthy and pregnant (and who would venture to say other posters may be in similar situations)– I saw what some posters saw. Not right, somewhat judgemental, but honest.

ANJ

Donna on

LOL, no woman is pregnant for 10 months!!!! It’s not even 9 months. People are so dumb. A normal, healthy pregnancy last until gestational age of 40 weeks. 2 weeks is from the woman’s last period, you are not actually pregnant. So really you are pregnant for 38 weeks. 38 weeks x 7 days in a week = 266 days of pregnancy. Divide that by 30.44 (avg days in a month (365.25/12=30.44) and you get 8.74, so you are actually pregnant for 8 3/4 months.

Vitreaux on

FUNNY!! loved the way she explained her ups and downs!

Whinee?? ‘mon people!! she is true to her feelings!! Don’t tell me you didn’t feel like that when pregnant!

Donna on

Actually a full gestational pregnancy is 8.75 months, but who’s counting?! Idiot…10 months x 30 days average in a month = 300 days divided by 7 days in a week = 42.86 weeks. An average healthy pregnancy full term is “40” weeks. Only 38 of those are you actually pregnant. 2 weeks is added for ease of calculation from first day of menstrual cycle until conception. Do some research, people.

Bebe on

I felt exactly the same way when I was pregnant!! It’s bad enough that you worry about not eating enough of the good things because if you have morning sickness everything kinda grosses you out. And the stuff that you do crave is forbidden! But then you realize that it’s only for 9-10 months and when your precious baby is here you can go back to indulging BUT WAIT! now you’re breastfeeding and are told certain foods can give your baby colic and/or can be transmitted to the breast milk…..WAAHH!

Yes we are extremely grateful & happy to be able to carry a pregnancy and be mothers that doesn’t mean that we can ignore the hormones that come with it so a little whining IS ALLOWED and JUSTIFIED!

JustMe on

She just makes me laugh because she says it like it is! Anyone who has had pregnancy insanity can 100% relate! (I kept telling my kids to put their laundry in the oven, sigh). Anyone who thinks she is whining has either not been ptegnant or had opne of those rare “nothing ever changed” pregnancies. I’d rather hear someone be bummed about giving up margaritas, than read about some crack head lighting up a pipe when she is pregnant.

Heidi Quayle on

Please don’t drink the margherita or rose or champagne… you risk interfering with your beautiful baby’s brain. NOT worth it. have a cry instead, if you need it. At least its not a ban on your favorites for life!

Heidi Quayle on

I just wanted to mention that for those who say ‘I did it and my baby was fine’ – I’m not trying to be preachy, but a baby born with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder is not going to ‘look’ or act different from other babies. People often don’t know that something is wrong until the child is older, some don’t get a diagnosis until adulthood. Its not till around age 9 that they begin to seem different than peers and not till the teen years that they really begin to get in trouble because they are given more independence and their choices have very real, lasting consequences.

Suzanne on

Congrats, Poppy! I think you are saying what a lot of women feel and are too insecure or too worried about judgement to express. It’s quite the rollercoaster — emotions, cravings, everyone’s opinions. Enjoy your coffee!

Michele on

Ignore the haters. This is brilliant, funny, and so HONEST. I think there’s even such a thing as pasteurized Brie, and my hard core OB allowed soft cheese as long as it was pasteurized … many drs have since followed suit. And I am pretty sure no one is going to be permanently scarred by a small cup of coffee or occasional sip of wine, esp in the third trimester. Best of luck to you!

Lola on

Great, funny (and not whiny!) post … But, if you are going to blog about being pregnant in your early (or maybe even mid) 40s, let’s hear how this miracle happened. Some people are lucky to conceive naturally or quickly at that age but most are not, and a dose of reality would be refreshing amidst what has become an endless parade of pregnancy blogs and announcements on this site.

Sara on

Brilliant post! And oh so very true..i have two amazing, healthy girls and even though I am a yoga teacher, a doula and mostly organic greenie I was very relaxed in both my pregnancies. Ate lots of sushi, had brie and camenbert, occasional coffee…its about moderation. None of those foods kill you or your baby, using common sense and fresh ingredients its all good.

Erin on

@J_Boyd, I agree with your whole post apart from the Foie Gras rant. I’m not a fan at all myself however not everyone is aware of the disgusting practice of how it is produced, let alone it was grouped in a list of a bunch of common french foods, she may have reluctantly turned down. Maybe I’m giving her too much credit, but that’s not to say she had a hard time turning down Foie Gras specifically. I think she was more touching on what she should or needs to refuse due to pregnancy and just lumped all the foods on offer, seems like she was moreso after the cheese if anything. I wouldn’t hold that so strongly against her.

As for those whining about whining, pot calling the kettle black! I’m not a fan of ungrateful whiny people but that wasn’t the case here – she was clearly making fun of herself and pointing out how ridiculous it all was. I haven’t even been pregnant myself but I can appreciate everythings she said which was done in a humerous way. As for CCex, I’m happy to agree to disagree, we all have different opinions. You don’t have to like her but you come off as both obnoxious and humourless.

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