Elizabeth Banks: Why I’m ‘Really a Mom’ Now

01/15/2013 at 11:00 AM ET

Elizabeth Banks Really a Mom Now
Michael Simon/Startraks

Elizabeth Banks has hit official mom status.

Since welcoming her second son Magnus Mitchell in November, the actress — she and husband Max Handelman are also parents to son Felix — admits she’s feeling the full effects of motherhood.

“Two is very different from one. When you have one kid, you feel like you can jet set around and you can throw him on the hip and you get your life done,” Banks told PEOPLE at the launch of babyGap’s Peter Rabbit collection at Gap at The Grove in L.A. Saturday.

“You don’t realize how easy one is until you have two. Now I’m really a mom. Oh, I am a mom now! This is for serious — I am responsible for two people now.”

The reality of her new family of four finally hit home when Banks and Handelman decided to celebrate the holidays with their sons — sans hired help.

“[We] had no help, no nannies, no babysitters. It was crazy. You forget how difficult it is to wake up in the middle of the night, how exhausting it is,” she admits, adding being a hands-on mom took on a whole new meaning. “I lost all my nails. I did dishes and cleaned bottles for 10 days so I lost all those nails!”

Fortunately, making life easier has been Felix’s smooth transition into his role as the “sweetest” big brother. “He loves to say how cute Magnus is and he loves to give him kisses and he’s very gentle,” Banks, 38, shares.

“He loves to bring him gifts — sometimes that means shoes that are thrown in the bassinet, but that’s okay.”

The 22-month-old’s tough love tactics may be seemingly sweet now, but Banks isn’t holding out hope the brotherly bond will last long.

“I would say [Felix] is mostly unaware of what’s going on because Magnus doesn’t touch his stuff,” she explains. “I’ve heard that around 10 months — when baby can actually influence the realm of Felix — that Felix will not be happy. We’ll see how that goes.”

One thing that’s for sure? Banks and Handelman hit a home run when playing the name game.

“Felix means happy in Latin and he is very happy go lucky,” the proud mom says. “Magnus is definitely more serious. He’s going to be the deep thinker of the family for sure.”

– Anya Leon with reporting by Jennifer Garcia

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Showing 122 comments

Lis on

Aha! Can totally relate to this article! I have 2 little boys that are 22 months apart and now that the baby (a year old) can get into his brother’s toys, the “fights” have begun.

And I say verbatium all.the.time: “You don’t realize how easy one is until you have two.” hahaha! so true! I love it! Am the happiest I’ve ever been, but definitely busy!

Elizabeth on

Why do mom’s feel the need to one up each other? It doesn’t matter how many children you have, you are still a mom. What an ignorant comment.

jenna on

no help for ten days?! how DID you survive?!

Aly on

“[We] had no help, no nannies, no babysitters. It was crazy. You forget how difficult it is to wake up in the middle of the night.” LOL how funny…celebrities!

Momwithnohelp on

Oh boo hoo, she and her husband had to take care of their kids by themselves for 10 whole days??!!

Most people do this all the time, everyday and night. Being a parent is our full time job, as well as working. It should be yours too. If you don’t want to be a full time parent like most parents are, why even have kids?? Why would you want to have nannies raise your kids??

You’re no hero.

Tiffany on

She is right, one is def a lot easier than two. I have 3 kids and I look back at how easy it was when there was only one, or two for that matter! Wouldn’t change it though!!!

I like her as an actress and a person. Seems like an all around good person and probably a great mom.

Anonymous on

I’m having mixed feelings about this story. On one hand I’m thinking HELLO welcome to the real world..and you had only 10 days of no help LOL. On the other hand I can’t help but like her. :)

Bellywitch on

I like her, but this article makes her sound like a spoiled brat. So, she had to take care of her kids for 2 or 3 days just like every normal person in America and is whining about it?? Geez…..

2timeMom on

I have to completely agree! Parenting one child is a whole lot easier than parenting two or more. It really becomes a juggling act and consumes all of your time. Nothing against those who have only one child, but just saying you have a little more freedom.

Laura on

Didn’t another actress get into trouble a while ago for similar comments? I love Elizabeth and see her point about a HUGE jump going from 1 kid to two. But to make it seem like parents of only children aren’t “real” moms is crazy. I’m an only child, and my mother was a REAL MOM 100% of the time. And wow, she took care of her kids all by herself and did the dishes with no help for vacation? Most parents do that all day every day! I’m not hating on her for having help. If you can afford it and are still a hands-on working parents, awesome, you’ve earned that. I just don’t appreciate when people act like it’s something new!

Shawna on

She is not making herself sound good with this article. We are supposed to be impressed that she lasted 10 whole days without hired help??? What the heck does she think the rest of us do every darn day?? At one point I had 3 kids under the age of 5 and guess what? No hired help! And someone I managed. *insert massive eye roll here*

BARBARA COLE on

i LOVE ELIZABETH ESPECIALLY ON 30 ROCK, BUT COME ON MOST OF THE WORLD DOES NOT HAVE HIRED HELP AT ALL, IS SHE SERIOUS? OF COURSE ITS HARD

mack on

Seriously? She’s “really a mom” now because she went through the holidays with no nannies, babysitters or help? She WOKE up in the middle of the night with her child? She washed bottles and dishes ALL BY HERSELF? OMG…I’ve been a REAL mom now for awhile I guess…and I also have a full-time job to boot. Someone get her a trophy.

BlueSkidoo on

I strongly dislike when people say “You” in giving their experience. Maybe she didn’t realize how easy one was, or maybe she thought two was more, but that doesn’t mean she has the right to tell everyone else that THEY didn’t know. Two was so much easier for me because I was already in the swing of it, already adjusted to life involving a child. By the time the third came along, it was like he’d always been there. I’m not saying it was totally easy or a breeze, but it definitely wasn’t harder than having one.

At least she admits that most of the time she depends on the “hired help” and doesn’t get up with her kids during the night. That’s refreshing to hear a celebrity talk about.

momof4 on

As a mother of 4 lovely children, I don’t consider myself any more of a Mom than a woman with 1 child. Sort of a stupid thing to say…..

Summer on

So, because I choose to only have one child, I’m not really a mom…whatever…I’m just as much of a mom to my one son as she is to her two sons. Oh, and doing it over the holidays with no help…welcome to the real world…that’s what being a mom is…getting up in the middle of the night, oh and heaven’s to betsy you lost your nails…get over yourself!

Jennifer on

Truest thing I ever read was : “One child is one, Two is Twenty”. More than one child is beyond exhausting, you really can not ever get ahead of the curve :)

dawn norris on

What the Hell. real people do it. “[We] had no help, no nannies, no babysitters. It was crazy. You forget how difficult it is to wake up in the middle of the night, how exhausting it is,” she admits, adding being a hands-on mom took on a whole new meaning. “I lost all my nails. I did dishes and cleaned bottles for 10 days so I lost all those nails!”

LC on

when celebrities say ‘oh, now I’m a real mom… I have two kids’ it irks me. Jessica Alba said something similar after her second child. Whether you have one or ten… you’re a real mom. Also, give me a break…. no nannies, babysitters, etc… Welcome to the REAL WORLD where REAL MOM’s get up in the middle of the night all the time and wash their own baby bottles and don’t have time for manicures or keeping their nails pretty. Does she realize how ridiculous she sounds?

Betsy on

“[We] had no help, no nannies, no babysitters. It was crazy. You forget how difficult it is to wake up in the middle of the night, how exhausting it is,” she admits, adding being a hands-on mom took on a whole new meaning.

Wow, now she knows what most actual moms go through. I used to really like her, but I’ve got to say that this really rubbed me the wrong way. 10 whole days without any help?! Oh, except she did have a husband helping. *insert eye roll here*. Try being a single mom to 3 young children with no family and no help EVER. Two children, with a husband, and just no outside help and she makes it seem like it was torture. Just another spoiled celebrity. Disgusting.

Elizabeth on

What a snobbish comment. Two children does not make you any more of a mom than someone who has 1. I guess the people that have 3 children are just on another planet of awesomeness that no other mom could possibly understand. Seriously…

Alison on

I agree! My sons are 30 months apart, and my baby is now 10 months old and this is where the fights have started. Freddie wants to play with Eli’s toys, and Eli is not having that! Eli is a very good Big Brother though, but has found it harder to play gentle since he is in full-on boy toddler mode. Having 2 has definitely made me more of a mom. I did okay with 1, but 2 is a whole new ball of wax. Congrats, Elizabeth, I think you’re a wonderful actress and I LOVE the names you have given your babies :)

Sanelsa on

“I did dishes and cleaned bottles for 10 days”. Normal people with small children do those things everyday, and wakes up in the middle of the night every night, not just for 10 days a year, when the hired help is not around…

Nikkie on

Please cry a little harder. Sans help – how do you think the rest of the world does it? I had two small children (and growing up as well) and did it most of the time alone while worrying if my husband would come back alive from a war zone. Give me a BREAK!!!

sarah on

Oh cry me a river. You had to take care of your kids alone for 10days. I take care of my kids alone everyday since my husband is in the military and currently out of country.

marcipants on

I find it hard to feel sympathy for lost nails from washing bottlesor exhaustion from waking up in the middle of the night to take care of your own children, because they let the hired help have the holidays off. Many of us work outside the home twelve hours a day with more than two children with no help at all. I hope they let the help have more time off and enjoy a “hands on” family. What does that even mean?

HC on

Sorry, but it annoys me slightly that people always feel the need to say they are “really” a mom now that they have 2 the implication being that because I only have one I’m not “really” a mom? It’s kind of off-putting and ridiculous. We all know that 2 is harder than 1, but I would never classify my 1 as easy no matter how many you add in to the mix. Of course, I never had a nanny, maid, or a cook or even grandparents to help me out, so maybe that’s why I can’t ever think of raising my 1 kid as “easy.”

Becky on

I have a hard time sympathizing with her. Most women do what she did for 10 days day after day for forever without any hired help. I think it’s insulting to comment on only feeling like being a mom after two kids, as if one child doesn’t make someone a mother because they don’t have another one to know how hard it can get. Know your audience!

Kim on

I totally agree! I felt the same weirdly enough lol You really know you’re alive juggling two to look after, one seems like a walk in the park but mine are now 6 and nearly 4 so they argue and fight all the time it’s crazy!

Anonymous on

What a stupid woman. There are plenty of real women with one child that don’t have nanny’s and “help”. They are real moms. How about we start calling you a fake mom for having other people help you raise your children. Sure, things are probably tougher with two. But it doesn’t make you any more of a “real mom” than me with one.

Hilary on

Bah. I hate,HATE, when celebrities say things like “it was so hard to wake up at night, do dishes and clean bottles for 10 whole days” Wahhhhh. Give me a break. Most parents do that every single day. Spare me the complaining

LA girl on

OMG……She had to go a whole 10 days with no help and had to wash her own baby bottles!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Will the torture never end?

Monica on

Ugh. I hate when celebrities make a big deal out of being an actual hands on parent with no help. Welcome to the real world. I have 2 kids and my husband and I are raising them on our own- no nannies, no babysitters, etc. Isn’t that the point of having kids? So sorry that for 10 days you had to take care of your own kids. Guess you’ll get your beauty sleep again now that you are back to reality with all your help.

Erin on

What a douche bag. Wow, really? No help? Being a parent to two is really exhausting, wonder how the rest of society manages. Gimme a break. I have 4 and a hubby who works about 100 hours a week and I do just fine. Grow a set girlfriend!

LA girl on

OMG. She had to wash her own baby bottles and care for her own 2 children without a nanny or maid for a whole 10 days. Poor baby……..Get a grip girl, the whole rest of the world does that and also worries how to pay the bills and put food on the table.

HC on

If she can imply that I’m not a “real” mother because I only have one then I’m going to go ahead and imply that if she thinks raising her kids without help for the space of one vacation is a big deal she’ll never be a “real” mother no matter how many flippin’ kids she has.

Jenn on

wow 10 days without a nannie or any other type of hired help.

tigrezz on

I get so tired of women who have more than one child feeling like they are more of a mom than the ones of us who only have “one” child. One or ten, we are all still MOMS!!! Mayb sometimes one is all that we are able to b blessed with so until u no a persons story, stop judging.

LA girl on

;)

katie on

i have two girls, same age difference and it is SO true! i hear people with one kid say how busy life is and all i can think is, “momma, please..”, you’ll see if you have another what busy is! how people have more than two is beyond me lol!

magarciakd on

One is one and two are ten!

nails no nails on

Oh boy, I have no nails whatsoever since giving birth to my older kid 2.5 y ago. Then 10 months ago the little one came and not only I have zero nails, I also put away all my jewelry, keep my hair up at all times and almost forgot languages other than baby-ese. Dear Elizabeth B., count yourself lucky!

my2cents on

It is funny to have to listen to some celebs that have it soooo hard….I can only be lucky! Had four kids worked full time..two within 13 months, was 19 years old when I started, went back to school after having 3 of them..without a nanny EVER!. My the list goes on and I lived to tell about it. Please get the crying towel out!

Kelsey on

This article is just sad, she doesn’t wake up with her babies in the night to comfort them? I know its hard, but its also a precious part of those first few years.

Lila on

Wow. I didn’t realize I wasn’t a mom to my only child. She must be imaginary.

Parents of only children ARE parents. I get up with my daugher, get her ready for school, pick her up, feed her dinner, help her with her homework, kiss her boo-boos, comfort her when she is upset, celebrate with her when she is happy, run her to her activites, bathe her, read her books, take her shopping, snuggle her to sleep….. the list goes on. So I find it highly insulting when people make comments about parents with only one child not “being a mom”. I sure as heck am a mom, and a great one at that!

Grace on

My thoughts exactly jenna. It must have been horrid!

Red 94 on

Did she really write that she didn’t have help for *10 days* and that it was difficult?! Odd…my husband and I (and I’m full-time educator) do it all WITHOUT help on a normal basis,and my nails are doing just fine. Seriously? I can’t believe a “star” would be so insensitive to the “reality” of parenthood. This just reinforces just how truly out-of-touch the Hollywood liberati are with the real world they are paid to entertain…

Laura on

It doesn’t bother me that she has help or needs help from nannies. It’s the “real mom” comment that sticks in my craw. A mom is a mom, there are not different levels of mom-ness. Can we learn not to demean each other in our choices?

L on

Whatever!! Single parent here with an only child with ADHD & work full time! I don’t find it easier than my siblings who have more than one child! What a bunch of b.s. I really don’t have any freedom but my child is my 1st priority so I wouldn’t have it any other way!

Alex on

Wow. So those of us who have one child aren’t “real” moms? I’ll let my son know that he has an unreal mom. *gag* Honestly, who thinks like this? People who lack intelligence or common sense? If I delivered a stillborn child after having my son, would you consider me a real mom then? Anyone who has been pregnant is a mom, in my opinion. You don’t have to raise two human beings to be a “real” mom.

Pinky on

I get annoyed by that attitude. I get comments like that sometimes from friends “oh you can do all those things because you only have one kid.” No I just rock and am really organized. Besides some of us who struggle with infertility are blessed we finally had one and are a mom. We can’t all pay others to carry our children. I like Banks but maybe she has been playing Effie too long and is starting to think like her as well.

angel on

As a mother of 4 children under the age of four, I can relate to the initial shock that comes when you transition from one to two.. Of course, I now think, wow two were so easy compared to four! It is all relative to your situation. However, the comment about ten days without help? Please, i am going on four years with ZERO sleep and try not to complain about that! I must say that a mother is a mother, no matter how many children you are blessed with, be it one or ten.

Deborah on

I have NO sympathy for “celebrity moms or dads”….and I wouldn’t expect any back if I had ALL THEIR HELP!

Aja on

Groan. You poor, poor thing. Welcome to everyone else’s world.

Paige on

Celebrities make me laugh! Imagine, going 10 whole days without any help — they’re so fortunate they survived! Meanwhile, my son Rudy and I have been surviving on our own for three years now… we must be AMAZING! Oh wait, I must not even be a real mother since I only have one child. *rolls eyes* I like her as an actress but she sure says some silly things.

Mabel on

No, Elizabeth, having a second kid didn’t make you a “real mom”–actually taking care of them yourself did! (Well, at least for 10 days).

Kathy on

My feelings exactly, Jenna!

I wonder if she even knows how privledged and arrogant she sounded.

Victoria on

LOLOLOL….Bet she’ll regret writing this article…..

Galen on

Poor baby! No nanny, no hired help for ten whole days?!? Try doing it with three as a single parent with NO help, ever. While working and going to school. Please count your financial blessings, Elizabeth and clue in to the fact that this is the work that real parents do every single day without help, appreciation, nannies, overtime or insurance…

Claire on

What a ridiculous set of comments she made. She lost her nails by doing 10 days of bottles! Really!? How else are the bottles going to get done? Waking up in the middle of the night and feeling exhausted? Really!? You have 2 little kids! It’s going to be exhausting, yet filled with tremendous rewards, too. She sounds like a spoiled brat about not having help when the majority of moms never get any help at all. These are just the everyday things that come along with parenthood. Come down from your celebrity dreamworld and back to reality!

kim on

wah! no help. no nannies. no babysitters. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!!! jeeezus, im so tired of whiny spoiled celebrities

Tracy on

This article is offensive. I earned my official Mom status when my daughter was born. We are one and done. I wouldn’t change it for the world. It does not make me more or less of a parent. That’s absurd. Even if we decided to have more children, we would never ask for or hire help. It was our choice (to have a child/children), it is our responsibility to raise them.

Bette on

Why all the hate? At no point did she say she was a hero and she was pointing out that she was living life like the rest of us. I know very few people who WOULDN’T employee nannies etc if they could afford it. Happy mom and dad means time with the baby is happy, not frustrated etc. I don’t like to defend celebrities, but this woman seems to be pretty down to earth and can afford to pay people, in a crap economy, to care for her kids.

Jenny on

I’ve never commented on any type of website, blog etc but for some reason I feel compelled to. While I agree with everyone’s comments that she had “no help” for 10 days is ridiculous, I also think it’s incredibly sad. Being a mom is the most amazing gift, there is no doubt its HARD work, but the idea of paying someone to wake up with your baby in the middle of the night just seems wrong. Babies/children need their moms, we are their comfort and security. Yes, it’s hard to juggle and you’re exhausted all the time, but that’s our job and that’s what makes being a mom so special. It would be great to have more money, but I would never want to spend the time I have with my family with “hired help” and have someone doing a job that I should be doing. It’s sad; celebrities really miss out on what the full experience of being a mom is. I’m not jealous nor would I want that life at all. If anything it really puts things into perspective on what’s important.

Jaybee on

And you probably didn’t have to work and got to stay home with your kids, Shawna.

josy0710 on

As a “one and done” mom I am extremely offended by this idea that you need more than one to be a “REAL MOM”. I think the fact that I have had NO HELP for A LOT longer than 10 days makes me more a “REAL MOM” than a Mom of 2 or 3 with multiple nannies.

Sara on

Right jenna? She had to do *gasp* DISHES!

shoppinggal on

““[We] had no help, no nannies, no babysitters. It was crazy. You forget how difficult it is to wake up in the middle of the night, how exhausting it is,” she admits, adding being a hands-on mom took on a whole new meaning. “I lost all my nails. I did dishes and cleaned bottles for 10 days so I lost all those nails!” BOO EFFING HOO…CRY ME A RIVER.

annlynn on

Wow, a mom actually had to care fo her OWN children with no nanny support. Shocking :eye roll:

Jessica on

Wow…this is annoying article. Doesn’t she realize how much of an idiot she sounds like by talking about not having help for 10 days!!! I like her, but her comments are just dumb. As for one being easier than two – depends on the situation.

Jen on

Most likely this was taken out of text and not the whole conversation. I really like her and I am sure she didn’t mean it like it sounds. But it does make her seem like just another spoiled rich celebrity. Most of us will never know what it is like to have hired help. I have 4 kids and have never had any help.

But I still love her!

meghan on

Wow. Parents of only children are incredibly defensive. You do realize when someone is being interviewed, they are discussing THEIR experience, right? They aren’t telling other people how to feel or acting like they are experts on anything. They are just sharing their feelings. Why do you need to carry on about parenting singletons like you need to be validated as mothers? Grow the hell up!

Messiejessy on

I guess the one question or comment I have, is how, even with the help does she manage to just let go of parental control like that? Coming from a mom who was just up 3 times last night with her feverish, teething infant, I wake on the drop of a pin. Unless she has made it so that her room is on the opposite side of the house, I would never be able to hear my baby cry and then not tend to it myself. Even if you are paying and trust for someone else to do it. I doubt her children will ever know the difference or remember, but seriously, these are some of the best bonding moments ever. Even if we belly-ache and complain as it’s happening at 2:30am, I relish in those tender moments when my baby’s head is nuzzled up in to my or her father’s neck. She goes from in pain and distraught, to calm and soothed. I wouldn’t want to hand that quality time over to anyone else. (well….. maybe once or twice I would ;)

Kenzie on

Wow…this article is just full of awful quotes. Last time I checked, if you have a child you’re a “real” mom. It doesn’t matter if you have one or 10 kids. Way to be ignorant, Elizabeth Banks.

Kelly on

Either way, I love Elizabeth Banks. One kid, two, twelve … either way, you’re still a Mom. I also appreciate her ability to keep parts of her life private. If it was some other celebrity who is always in your face, complaining / mentioning some facet of a non-celebrity life, then she would bother me. As an aside, both my husband and I work (full-time and then some) and if we had two children, we would be hiring help.

Tracy on

The previous poster is sadly mistaken in ASSuming mothers of one child need to be “validated”. We do not need to be validated at all. However, it would just be common sense to expect to be called out on comments that EXCLUDE! I would say not participating in parenting would be the only way to exclude.

Greenie on

WOW I only have one child but I can assure you I am “really a mom.” Also never had a nanny for even one day. I like her and respect that she has shared her fertility and adoption journey, but I hate how moms are always trying to say they have it the hardest.

lauren on

I think everyone is taking her comments out of context. As a mother of two I totally understand what she is saying. Going on holidays is ok with one child but so much harder with two. When at home, your children are easily entertained with all their toys and have their own rooms. Vacation is a different story. The family is usually together 24/7 and it can be overwhelming trying to get it all done without all the luxuries we have back at home. Also, many people work or have their kids in school or daycare so to be together for 10 days straight all day is a big adjustment. Give her break.

molly.one on

Okay,I get how this article can make her come of but I love her. Most of what she says is hysterical and has a tone of comic irony and sarcasm that can be hard to decipher. If you can’t read that from her interviews then she can come off as rude, out of touch, and insolent….but I love her! Funny and fresh!

sdr on

i’m sure she is right- i only have one child but i can obviously see that having more than one is a whole lot busier/harder. however, the ‘really a mom’ thing always annoys me. thanks all for letting me know that i am half a mom because God only blessed me with one child. sometimes in our society we like to get into a bragging rights scenario over how busy/taxed we are. annoying.

Carol on

For those of us who wanted more than one child, but couldn’t afford to, or weren’t able to, this is very hurtful. Comments like that try to invalidate our motherhood. Having one may be different than having more, but in no way is it easier. It’s not always easy dealing with a lonely only child who needs and wants a playmate and you are it.

kacizeta on

I would like Elizabeth to spend ten days in my house…or in any house around america where people never have hired help. Then she would know what it was really like to work full time and manage schedules for a family. Doesn’t matter if you have one or ten kids…working and raising a family is like having two full time jobs. Most of us do it without help and are more than happy to do so.

Adrienne on

Barf. I wonder if she realizes how egotistical and narcissistic she sounds in this article.

Lila on

Because, Meghan, we get tired of constantly having to defend our reasons for having one. I bet you don’t have people making comments about how you are not “really” a mom, or that you child is going to be lonely, or that it’s “wrong” to do that to her. I have had all those comments said to my face!

You are right, parents of only children SHOULDN’T have to be defensive, but as long as there are ignorant people out there they will be.

Missy on

I could care less about her comment of one vs two makes you a real mom…its the whole “10 days no hired help” comment that really makes me dislike her. Wow how superficial and pathetic can you sound? You no mother AT ALL if you have to get hired help to assist you….your not being a mom…your a incubator for someone else to take care of your children.

ecl on

Some of you really get off on deliberately misunderstanding comments. You KNOW what she meant! I have one kid and I am not offended and get her point. In fact, it’s exactly why I have been debating whether or not to have another. But I guess it’s more fun to be pissed.

Rachel on

I guess because I only have ONE child I am not a real mom..My life is not any easier because I have one child..Parenting is Parenting PERIOD.

Alex on

Meghan, you’re right that some of us parents of only children are defensive. Can you enlighten me on how being defensive is indicative of needing to grow up? Your addition of the word hell was quite mature, wasn’t it?

jeepers on

I read this and knew instantly that all these mothers of one child were going to attack.

Obviously, if you have only one child, you are a mother, too. And obviously, Elizabeth Banks feels that she was a mom when she just had her first son, Felix. All she is saying is that having two children is a lot harder than having one. And it is. I have three. Having one was easier than having two. And having two was easier than having three. For a parent with only one child to imply that this is not the case is silly….they wouldn’t even know practive, but should be able to make that leap in theory. Doesn’t make you less of a mom to have a single child, it makes you a less busy one. There is no offense in that.

I think that it is funny how difficult they think it was taking care of their boys on their own. It probably really makes them appreciate the fact that they can get help. I would like some help from time to time.

Melissa on

I didn’t know i wasn’t a mom cause i only have one. I’ll have to tell my daughter to quite calling me mommy.

Sophia on

I think maybe what she might’ve meant with her “real mom” comments is that it DID get harder after the little one came along and sh*t got real, so to speak. She may not have necessarily been having a dig at mothers-of-one worldwide, as much as you would all like to defend your role (utmost respect for all mothers, by the way, one child or twenty). Her recount of 10 days without help definitely sounded spoilt but I guess she can only speak from the experience she’s had and in her line of work, at her position with all the privileges she’s used to, I guess that was out of the ordinary for her. Of course it’s going to rub a lot of “regular” moms the wrong way, the women who do it all themselves all the time, but it was meant to be an interview about her life and experiences. Anyway, I’m done. As you were.

Traci on

No matter how many children you have you are busy. We could debate more or less busy ALL DAY LONG. I would have to say that it depends on if you are a involved or uninvolved parent.
But more or less children does not equate to more or less of a PARENT!!!

L on

I’m extremely busier than my sister who has three & help of her husband, as a single working mom of one, thank you very much! Ugh it depends on the situation people!!!

Jenn on

I just love the comment, “it’s serious stuff, being a parent to two.” Like it’s not serious to have one child???

meghan on

Alex, if you are secure in the choices you have made in your life, for your family, you don’t need to defend those choices. Defensiveness is a sign of insecurity and complaining about an actress talking about her life circumstances IS immature. There is no reason to apologize for having one child. There is also no reason for attacking a mother who points out the difference in HER life now that she has two children. Elizabeth Banks isn’t attacking anyone or calling them less. Why attack her? And yes, those attacking her are behaving immaturely and need to grow the HELL up.

Leslie on

Gosh it’s sure easy to get some of you ladies undies in a bunch. Don’t take life so seriously… what Elizabeth said was anecdotal and not that big of deal.

Traci on

Meghan: Mature people do not need to tell other people to grow the hell up to get their point across. Agree to disagree and move on.

cristin on

If I had help, I would love it. It would give me more time with my kids. I liked the middle of the night feedings and wouldn’t have given those up for a little sleep. Rocking my baby to sleep and seeing their little faces was worth it. She comes across as so self righteous. I would never want someone else getting to have those memories with my baby. Now if someone wanted to wash my dishes or do my laundry, I would fully support that.

MommytoanE on

I guess that since I have an only..I’m not really a mom. I hate comments like this. So degrading to those who chose to do differently. Tho, I find it more degrading coming from movie stars and whatnot that have nannies and babysitters take care of their kids all the time…and act like they are perfect, wonderful parents for spending 2 hours a day with their kids.

I fully believe that despite I only have one, I’m a REAL mom. A real mom in my eyes..is a mom who cares and loves her child(ren) no matter what. Who’s always there for their kids, and who supports their kids. To me, that makes us mothers. Not the amount of children we have.

Amy on

What a bunch of whiny catty females. She said herself she was talking about how much easier it was with one child than two not judging anyone who only had one kid. She lives a different life than 98% of the rest of us, and can afford the help so many of us wish we had because don’t lie and say if you were clearing a million dollars a year and could afford it without flinching you wouldn’t hire someone to help you make your life easier. Whether it’s one kid or give kids, family are hard and whether it’s someone who cleans the bathroom or someone who can watch your kids for a few hours you’d pull out your wallet your purse would skid marks get over yourselves.

kimberly maxwell on

What an utterly stupid, stupid woman. Having any number of children is NOT what makes you a mother. Its the love and nurturing through the good and the bad and putting the needs of a child before yours above all else. Newflash.. that is what happens to mothers of ” just one” child too. To imply that you are only a “real mother” if you have two or more children is just as condescending and cruel as saying that you could never be a “real mother” until you birth your own.

Alex on

Meghan, we can agree to disagree on whether being defensive or insecure is indicative of maturity. I am comfortable in my choices for my family. Your continuous comments about people who lack maturity and then tell people to grow the hell up is laughable…truly laughable. Telling someone to grow up due to some insecurity is indicative of someone who lacks class and sophistication. Shame on you. If you want to write grow the hell up again, please look in the mirror as you type your obnoxious commentary. Have a nice day.

Alex on

Traci, you said what I meant to say in less words. Thank you!

Jennifer on

As the mom of one (and we are only planning on one), I have NO doubt that two is harder than one and three is harder than two, etc., but if you have one kid, you are still a “real mom.” You are still up in the middle of the night with a sick child, you are still worrying about their best interests, you are still doing all the things moms do. She should have chosen her words more carefully.

meghan on

Yes Alex, will we have to agree to disagree. Because to me, the more you talk, the more defensive you sound. Shame on me? Shame on you for not owning up to your attitude and acting like I’m somehow in the wrong for refusing to let an actress make me feel bad about my life choices and for pointing out foolishness of those who do give celebrities that kind of power. As far as I’m concerned every person who sarcastically posted, “Well I guess I’m not a real mother…” is worse then Ms. Banks because they were foolish enough to get offended by her comments. They need to step away from the blogs and message boards, gain some perspective and stop getting offended by everything people say.

candykane on

I have 5 kids so I must be super natrual uber Mom

guest on

Really. .. im the mother of 4 children and work full time as a nurse. I don’t have manicured nails nor a nanny, but I have 4 very happy children. My second child has muscular dystrophy and deals with ptsd from being victimnized as a child and the oldest dealing with the guilt of not “being able to save his sister” and the third having a learning disability. I, fortunately, have an extremely supportive husband. BUT…. I haven’t sleep through the night in years much less gotten through the holidays with “help”. I think she is a great actress but when she really suffers as a parent… then I will be sympothetic to her “woes” as a parent.

Anne on

My life is SO simple with one child! I just “put him on my hip” and “jet set” around town! Sure….a trip to the supermarket or mall with a 3 year old is a total walk in the park. But what do I know?I’m not a “real mom” anyway.

Alex on

Meghan, write whatever you want to make yourself feel better. I don’t know how you concluded that I think you’re in the wrong for refusing to let an actress make you feel badly (it should be badly and not bad) about your life choices.

What statement did I make that made you conclude such? I’m curious, because I can’t imagine I wrote such words that would lead an intelligent person to conclude this. So women who write that they aren’t a real mother are worse than (not then, by the way) Ms. Banks? Why would you even label these women as being bad in some way? They are terrible people because they were “foolish enough to get offended by her comments.” OMG! I am so embarrassed that I was offended by her comments, and I should be ashamed of myself because I must be a horrible person.

Jesus, Meghan, please get a grip. Your conclusions do not make sense to me, but then people who lack class and common sense rarely do. I am genuinely interested in reading what words I wrote that made you conclude I was attacking you for not feeling badly. But feel free to add in additional insulting remarks because they make me smile.

You’re telling people to step away from the blogs and message board and gain some perspective, but here you are being rather passionate about comments made in this blog. So please take your own advice, which should also include growing up. Buh-bye.

Phoebe on

Oh my god, can everyone just relax? Elizabeth is a hilarious woman, and she’s clearly not being all that serious here. Two kids are harder than one kid, that’s all she’s saying, geez. And I don’t think hiring a nanny or a babysitter is a bad thing at all. Good on you if you don’t have one or can’t afford one and you raise your kids all by yourself, but a lot of people do have people to help them raise their kids.

stella on

I am the mother of one and struggling with trying to have another. She is so lucky to have been able to have these 2 children . I am offended by her comment about being a real “mom” now. I am no longer a fan of hers

Lila on

Yes, she is just a celebrity telling a story of herself. Yes, she was probably half joking. But comments like this just feed the fire that there is something wrong with just having one child. That you aren’t truly a mother.

I have also had people say to me, that I don’t understand because I’m not “really a mom”. It’s hurtful when people put you in a secondary place because of the number of children you have. But it happens, and frequently.

People don’t mean to be mean, most of the time I am sure, but they don’t think about how their words can be painful. Especially when someone can’t have more children or has lost a child. It’s just a good idea to think before you speak.

Really??? on

Every mother of one should google “To the mother of only one child”

I now have two, but I read this when I was pregnant with my second and having a very difficult pregnancy and this had me in tears. The woman who wrote it is a mother of nine and she basically describes how it can be so much harder to be a mother of one than a mother of nine.

In my own experience, bringing home my first daughter was tough. I was “prepared”, everything was purchased and set up, but the reality really didn’t set in until she was here and I was exhausted, trying to breastfeed, up all night, etc. It was absolutely gruelling (Mothers of multiples, I don’t know how you do it)!

My youngest daughter was born last April and bringing her home (compared to the first time) was a piece of cake. Of course there was exhaustion, and staying up all night, but this time, I actually knew what I was getting myself into. Breastfeeding took all of 30 minutes to establish, I had learned that I was far better off catching a nap while she was sleeping, rather than trying to get stuff done around the house and I’m much more relaxed about things that were really stressful the first time around.

Having two is wonderful, and it can be a challenge now that my 3 year old needs to be taken to all sorts of activities, but I was a full-blown mother with one, no less than I am now. I love Elizabeth Banks, and I don’t take offence to anything she said. When these types of comments are written down, neither tone nor situation are taken into account. I wish her and all of you moms, soon-to-be moms and want-to-be-moms all the best!

Traci on

Re: To the mother of only one child

It makes people with one child sound infirm. I do not agree with this ignorant article nor the silly “to the mother of only one child” piece!

Delia on

Honestly, it is amazing how out of touch celebrities can become. As a mom of one this made me laugh: “When you have one kid, you feel like you can jet set around and you can throw him on the hip and you get your life done,”
Really? Is that with or without help? What I need to remember is that people like her have staff to do everything from laundry, to cooking, to cleaning and walking dogs. No there is nothing wrong with that, but it does give you a different perspective in life when you are not doing it all by yourself.

Toro on

I’m starting to think that motherhood is not all it’s cracked up to be. Some of you just sound so bitter. The moment a celeb mom opens her mouth about her parenting experience….POUNCE. It’s not a competition. Everyone has a different reality and she’s speaking on hers.

Suki on

This lady is loco, I am a working mother of one. My daughter is far from an easy baby shes 4 months old and up constantly. I’m averaging about 2 hours a sleep a night, with not nannies etc. Pretty sure I became a REAL mother the moment I birthed her and realized nothing would ever be easy again.

sseriously??? on

I don’t understand how people can think that having more than 1 is soooo much harder. Wait until that 1 single child is older like 2 1/2 to say 10…. the only person around all the time for entertainment is YOU!! There are no siblings around to keep each other occupied. I get that kids fight with each other, but even that is keeping them occupied, and only having mom step in to help out occasionally. I have 1 boy and my sister in law (who lives 3 blocks away) has 3 girls. I have told her many times I would swap with her for a few hours, and she keeps saying no, because then she wouldn’t get anything done. She would have to spend her whole time playing with just 1 kid, instead of setting up a game for the others to play and having even 30 mins to get stuff done. Yes you need to juggle your time with more than 1, and sometimes after school activities are harder to plan, but over all, after the baby stage, having 2 or more is way easier. Anyone that thinks any different should switch kids with a friend that only has 1 for a whole day and see what you think then. I have done it with my own sister, and lots of times if I need to get stuff done around the house I’ll ask to have my nieces come over for a play date to keep my son occupied so I can work on things that need to get done.

Whatever on

For heaven’s sakes she is not saying you mothers with one kid aren’t mothers literally. She is saying how when you have one kid you can still do most of the things you used to do before having a child. Things like travel and ducking down to the store are easier with one. With two or more it can turn into a circus. When I just had the one we went overseas for two weeks traveling around the country. I would simply not attempt that with 2. She just means it brings it home more when you have two because you have less freedom. As for her comment about having no help for 10 days….maybe she shouldn’t have said that lol

Kimberly on

A “real mom” now that she has TWO?? So in her skewed opinion, you’re not a “real mom” if you have only one child? How insulting. Those of us who have never had “help” know very well how exhausting it is to get up in the middle of the night. Doubly insulting that she’s whining about having to do it for ten whole days!!

D on

So let me understand this, I gave birth, I raised a child on my own, and paid child support yet because I only had one child I’m not a mom? I left when the x was abusive and had to pay child support to him cuz he chose not to work. That’s not a deadbeat dad, it’s worse and you add insult to injury by telling me I’m not a mom?

I did it on my own, with no nannies, no dad, and very little money. I did it for my child’s entire life, not just 10 days. I’d be willing to bet you have more time than I did and yet you have the audacity to say I’m not a mom?

I’m grateful to have just one child that I was able to give my time and attention to. I was able be a better mom to one on my own regardless of stupid comments like this.

Rebecca on

Remind me not to see any Elizabeth banks movies! She must be dumb to say that knowing the world would see it!

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