Claire Danes: I’d Make a ‘Lousy’ Stay-at-Home Mom

01/07/2013 at 11:00 AM ET

Claire Danes Covers ELLE
Courtesy ELLE

Long before she welcomed son Cyrus Michael Christopher in December, Claire Danes always knew a family was in her future.

But the actress also knew a brood of babies would not close the curtain on her career.

“I’ve always wanted to have kids, but I’m glad I didn’t until now. When I was thinking about [working and being a mother] originally, I was really nervous about it,” the Homeland star, 33, says in Elle‘s February issue.

“I think I would make a lousy stay-at-home mom. It just wouldn’t suit me. I feel so fortunate in that I’ve had this straight-arrow focus … that I wanted to act.”

But while she may have worked hard to achieve her success in the spotlight, other aspects of her life — mainly her marriage with husband Hugh Dancy — have fallen into place on their own.

“Hugh was just the right partner for me. I got very, very lucky. There’s only so much credit you can take when it just sort of works, you know?” she shares.

“And obviously we work hard at maintaining our relationship — that is central to both our lives — but at the same time, it’s just this kind of ease that I can’t really account for.”

Claire Danes Covers ELLE
Courtesy ELLE

— Anya Leon

FILED UNDER: News , Parenting

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Savvy on

I haven’t liked her since she had an affair with Billy Crudup and he left then-pregnant Mary-Louise Parker. This feeling continues after reading this article. She is so absolutely self-absorbed.

Pinky on

I hate it when people imply that they would be a “lousy stay at home mom” because they have too much drive and career passion. As if we don’t, we just choose to make other sacrifices, for the time being.

Karen on

Awesome I couldn’t have said it better , that’s exactly what I think !! Well said!!!!!

nicki on

Right, because all of us stay at home moms lack “focus” of what we want or love to do! Please.

Keis on

This chopped up interview is confusing and paints her in a horrible light. Why did she do the interview?

Jennifer on

So why have kids if you are more driven to work and not take care of them?

Anon on

I have children and a career. I take care of my children and work – imagine that! There is absolutely nothing wrong with choosing or having to work as a mother.

TM on

I’ve loved her since My So Called Life. She’s also really good in homeland. I’m sure her baby boy is absolutely gorgeous.

Emily on

a) she looks like a drag queen in these pics

b) sad that she has such a low opinion on the stay-at-home moms

I had a very successful career as a working woman and now have an equally successful career as a stay-at-home mom. I just know that the things I do as a mom have a bigger impact on the world that anything I do/did in the work place. Any actress can play a role, but nobody can fill a mom’s shoes in the eyes of her children.

Crista on

Oh get over yourself Emily. I highly doubt your impact is anywhere near what you think it is. ALL SAHMs tell themselves this.

Elspeth on

Haha, Emily. Narcissist much?

mama308 on

This was not a “knock” on stay-at-home moms. Don’t read into it so much.

Karolina on

I really hope that these bits and pieces were taken out of context because it really makes her seem like a huge, self-centered snob.

Anonymous on

She feels fortunate because …. she wants to act? Well who doesn’t! Tou are not fortunate because you want something, but because you get the opportunity. And not wanting to be a stay at home mom? Yeah. Just rub it in the face of millions of moms who would love to be but can’t.

m. on

Yup you say it girlfriend! That is your view and your preference. The rest of you go get a day job, who cares what she thinks or likes… my gosh!

Francie on

Blehhh! It is so tiresome to hear women rave about their work at the expense of their child. “I would be a lousy stay at home mom” is as irritating as the excuse of “I’d be bored at home all day” or “my mind has to be challenged” as if they need work to then come home and be a ‘better’ parent. I suppose a nanny can parent get kid better than she can?! Sad.

boots84 on

I don’t like Claire Danes much but why knock her for feeling that way? No one is insulting stay-at-home moms, but that lifestyle choice is not for everyone. Kudos to the throngs of you who decide to stay with your kids until they’re school age, but many of us were raised differently. It’s not a bad thing to feel uncomfortable not working. One income is not conducive to the lifestyle we choose, and trust me, we live meekly and comfortable enough to not to live paycheck to paycheck, but just enough to not feel choked. We all make sacrifices for our families, but we do so in different forms. So for the stay at home moms-don’t knock us for wanting to work.

Kim on

being a stay-at-home mom is not for everybody, deal with it. It does not mean that you should not have kids..I work and have two children who are in school and they admire and respect me for working outside the home. I can be an example to them not to have to depend on a there are different ways of looking at each his own..

MommaBear on

This woman is irritating. Completely agree with the other comments that point to her arrogance and self-importance.

fiona on

I work harder around the clock as a stay at home mom to 4 then she ever will as an actress, I’m sure any other competent stay at home mom feels the same way…..

Elspeth on

Just think how much harder moms who work outside of the home have to work than you, fiona. They do the same stuff you do after working real jobs all day.

Guest on

You are wrong, Elspeth. I have been a working mom and a stay at home mom. Being a stay at home mom is much, MUCH harder.

Magnolia on

You’re lucky with your “real job…” At least you get paid money for all the work you do… Stay at home moms do the same amount of actual work with no paycheck… Seems pretty tough to me!!

tlc on

I find that women that use the line..they would be lousy “stay at home mom’s” are actually less driven. It’s easier to stay in a career that you have built then to step away and out of your comfort zone to raise a brilliant, well behaved, moral child.

Halley on

Claire simply answered a question as to why she made the choice for herself and her family. Why is it that the “stay at home” mom always feels the need to look down her nose and attack a working mom’s choice to work? Either one is an individual CHOICE so just accept the choice you made and stop attacking others. Stop being resentful of others choices and find something that’ll make you happy and in turn your family happy and flourish.

Anonymous on

Even if she were a stay at home mom she would have a nanny taking care of the baby! Please! What a joke these actors are — let’s not pretend she’ll parent the child.

Miz on

Ah, SAHMs and their persecution complexes. Wouldn’t be an article about a working mother without them gnashing their teeth at her.

mnm on

Meh, ppl really get their panties in a twist for no reason. I was a SAHM for years, now I’ve been a working mom for years; both have good and bad points. I prefer working personally; but it really is a personal decision. I like Claire, and see nothing wrong with her stating her personal preferences.

Elise on

Good for her! I can’t stand it when people paint stay-at-home moms in such amazing light. In my opinion, our society would be a much more egalitarian and less self-absorbed place if all kids went to day-care at age one. It would also help balance the power dynamic between men and women.

Kristen on

Wow- why are people taking the “stay at home” mom comments so personally? I’ve done both- as a mother and a career women, and also know it was not easy. If she said that she would be a lousy ‘career’ women, would we get other women ranting about that as well?

Kristin on

I think if she worked at some office or law firm or other real life job, she would be talking differently. Being an actor is work, but it’s more fun. It’s not an everyday grind of an office job. I don’t think she would be jumping into getting back to work so soon. These celebrities just have no idea about what real life is and people who do real life jobs.

LoveBeingAMom on

Well, if she didn’t want to raise her own children then why did she become a mother?? If you love your job so much and can commit most of your day to that instead of your children then don’t have children – major problem in our culture and the reason many children are the way they are. Sad. BRING ON THE COMMENTS AND CRITICISM – DON’T GIVE A CARE!!!

Anon on

“Why did she gave kids if she didn’t want to stay home with them??” — the cry of so many strident SAHMs.

Why is it that no one every asks men why they had children if they didn’t want to stay home with them? Or, for that matter, some feel it strange when men WANT to stay home with their kids and then accuse them of wanting to free-load off their wives…?

There are many ways to “properly” raise a child. The only thing that matters is that they know they are loved.

Liz on

Ehh. I’ve done both. Working is certainly the easy way out.

Kat on

She always sound horrible in interviews. Not having focus is actually a better reason to feel you’d be bad at being a SAHM, since you are the one creating structure to your day – not your job.

Not everyone is cut out to be a SAHM, but when people feel the need to ‘justify’ their choice, they always sound awful. Just embrace the fact you prefer to be a working mom, and find the best balance for your family.

Amy on

These comments are hilarious. Why are you ladies so upset about her comment that she doesn’t/didn’t think she’d be a stay at home mom? Why would you take that personally?

Cristina on

Elise, that is the most ignorant statement I’ve ever read. You sound so ridiculous. No thank you, I’d rather stay at home with my child than send them off to a daycare to be raised by someone else. Seriously, I’m still shaking my head in disgust at what you wrote. Stay at home moms are amazing…and I’m not a stay at home mom due to financial problems but boy do I wish I was. I’d much rather make a bigger impact on my kids life than anything else in this world. You sounds like a bitter, childless woman.

me on

She’s so annoying….

Jennifer on

mnm, well said. People get too freaked out over these pronouncements from celebrities that aren’t even living a “real” life – even if she did stay at home I doubt it would look like the life of most SAHMs I know!!! I work outside the home but I see pros and cons to both. Personally, I don’t have the patience needed to be at home all day, but that’s just me.

But Claire Danes irritates me. I loved loved loved MSCL way back when, but ever since she strikes me as an Angelina type – she takes herself way too seriously and seems to have zero sense of humor about herself or the industry she is in.

KD on

I think way to many ppl are reading in to her comment about being a lousy SAHM. I’m a single mom to a 4 yr old, I also would be a lousy SAHM..I love my evening and weekend time but I love my job and my coworkers and the me time I get at work and my lunch time exercise. Her statement is an honest one she isn’t saying SAHM have no driver or are lazy, good grief.

Joules on

When are women going to get that there is no competition between stay at home moms and working moms? We all play on the same team. If staying at home isn’t right for her then it isn’t right for her, just as your choice is the right one for you and your family. Her child is much better with her being happy and working instead of unhappy at home.

Anonymous101 on

How about making your child(ren) your passion & focus? Honestly, one cannot help but wonder if why some of today’s children are turning out the way they are, is because they were raised by babysitters/daycare workers, & passed off to whoever, just so the parents can go do whatever it is they want. Kids need their mom/dad to raise them & be involved in their lives full-time, not when it suits the parent’s schedule. If you don’t want to raise your kids full-time, then don’t have kids to begin with. There’s nothing wrong with not having children if you’d rather focus on your career.

Jennifer Sanchez on

At least she’s being honest. I hate when celebrities brag about how wonderful they are and all they do. Claire at least can point out her flaws and there’s nothing wrong with that!

liliana on

“It just wouldn’t suit me.”

Exactly where was she ‘bashing’ stay-at-home moms? I must have missed it…

Nikita on

I have always found her a very honest and upfront person. I find that refreshing. Everyone judging her for the supposed “affair” she had…come on…do you really have the inside scoop on what really happened there? Stop judging others and grow up.

Pg on

Ummm, she just gave birth to her first kid. All she is making rigt now are assumptions about whether she’d be happy as a stay-at-home mom. Give her a few years and then let her have her say.

guest on

I’m sure she could be a great stay-at-home mom if she wanted. The truth is that she just doesn’t want to be one because her priority is her career. I hope she at least takes on a much lighter work load to spend some time with her little one. They grow up so quickly!

Izzy on

I don’t think this is a knock on stay at home moms. If anything, I read it as she applauds those who do. I myself, can’t picture myself being a stay at home mom. Do I love my children any less? Definitely not. I just choose to work. People just need to stop being so defensive!

msmom on

Pinky, I LOVE your comment and couldn’t agree more. Well said.

Kate on

If she says that, then yes, she is right. She probably would be a lousy stay-at-home mom. Kids who have parents that don’t want to raise them are better off being raised by someone else.

E on

Claire isn’t judging stay at home mom’s, she’s just saying she wouldn’t be a good one. I’m a good mom, but I would make a terrible stay at home mom. Why is that such a bad thing to admit? I know where my best skills are, and what my limits are. My children are well cared for when I’m not with them… I think better than if I were the one doing it.

cristin on

There is something about her that is just very off putting. I don’t like her at all.

maggie on

in reply to Savvy, yes I remember that affair but I blame him, he was the one with a pregnant girlfriend that he cheated on. And, Claire Danes left him and is now happily married. I also don’t think she is slamming stay-at-home moms, maybe that being one is very hard and she can’t do that. I took away that she is blessed with a good relationship that feels easy even as you are working on it, I know what that is because I have it.

egc on

then why be a mom? I don’t get people who have kids, but want someone else to raise them.

Yes, raising kids is REALLY tough some days (most days), but if you don’t want to raise them and teach them, WHY HAVE THEM?

Elisabeth on

Why are so many readers knocking her for admitting she didn’t want to stay at home? Would you knock a man for not wanting to be a stay-at-home dad? Never!

Being with your kids 24/7 isn’t for everyone and isn’t a requirement of parenting. Admitting that it isn’t for you — instead of pretending it is and ending up miserable or even worse out of frustration — is a lot worse for kids. There are many different models: My mom and dad worked, I don’t, and everyone is fine.

AnnaE on

Why do stay at home moms constantly need to justify themselves about being at home? Some women want to have it all, including financial independance from their husband. Working outside of the house does not make you a bad mom…just a more productive, efficient, independant one.

TM on

I am not really a fan of hers but…in the SAHM versus working mom debate, there is no clear answer for any one situation. My teenage daughters have friends who have SAHM’s and these kids are terrible and they have friends who have working moms and these kids are terrible too…and vice versa. Just because a kid has a SAHM doesn’t mean they will have better morals or higher standards than kids of working moms. That’s absurd. I work and I spend every moment outside of work with my family making memories and having fun. I’ve never missed a single event in their lives for work. My kids are amazing, straight A students as teenagers who play sports and have an active lifestyle. My working has not impacted them in a negative way. My point is…you can be a good mom no matter what your choice is. To each her own.

Lena on

She isn’t knocking SAHM’s anywhere in this interview. She is just telling her personal feelings about wanting or not wanting to be a SAHM herself. Getting offended by something that isn’t there is just projecting insecurities. I have the utmost respect for SAHM’s. I was a SAHM for our kids first 2 years, while working contingent night shift. A part of me is glad I did it, but it wasn’t something that I enjoyed or got satisfaction out of like I do my career. I love my kids more than anything, but being a SAHM just wasn’t for me, as is the case with millions of mom’s. We like a certain lifestyle that we couldn’t have without my career, and I hated depending on my husband for financial support. There’s no right or wrong. What works best for one family doesn’t necessarily for another. SAHM’s always seem to be the most judgmental, especially based off of the posts here.

ecl on

I guess all you people attacking her have husbands who stay at home. Otherwise, all the same comments you are making about Danes apply to them, as well. But somehow their parenthood is only equated with income while women’s is equated with total sacrifice.

Tina on

Lousy photo by the phone. Not such a good makeup artist OR photographer.

Kelly on

I hate it when people have children then say “I would make a lousy stay at home mom”. THEN WHY DID YOU HAVE A CHILD??? This is great, the nanny will raise her son and she’ll go make more horrible movies. In the future Claire, just shut up!

Jen DC on

@SAHMs: She’s not saying you lack focus; she’s saying her focus IS and WAS ACTING. She’s saying she’s glad she had that focus because she recognizes that she has something to do that satisfies and contents her professionally – not that being a SAHM is for people who have no focus in life at all. Rather obviously, your focus is your children.

Anonymous on

These discussions are ridiculous, as always, when it comes to working moms vs. stay at home moms. Why do working mom’s always get painted as choosing a career over family? Perhaps some of us NEED to work to pay our mortgage, feed our kids and pay for their health insurance. What a thought!

Jessica on

I don’t think she was knocking stay-at-home moms. She was just stating her opinion, and that’s ok. I’m a stay-at-home mom, but that’s my choice. I know it wouldn’t be a match for everyone. But you know what else? I’m confident enough in my decision that I don’t feel the need to constantly defend it to other people or take offense when people make decisions that are different than mine. I think everyone who’s taking offense at this article just needs to chill a little bit. That’s all 🙂

Leigh on

Wow…until I read the comments, I had not realized that stay at home mothers were so self righteous!!

Congrats to her on her new baby! I am glad that she has enough maturity to have discovered her path, and understands her personal necessity to stick to it!!


I’ve done both too! I went back to work after my maternity leave and realized I was handing over my paycheck to a daycare raising my daughter? I don’t think so. Being a stay-at-home mom takes much patience and sacrifice. Claire needs a reality check and i hope she has a good nanny to “raise” her son.

Cindy on

Why does everyone assume a working mom means the kid will be raised by daycare or nannies. I’ve heard that many kids (including mine and Claire’s) have a second parent called a father. Perhaps he’s involved in his son’s care? My husband stays home with ours.

Ini on

I think it is sad mothers still have to justify themselves for working. Fathers do as well and nobody calls them “self-absorbed”. My husband’s mother worked all her life and he is the most genuine man and used to helping in the household. A lot of the stay-at-home moms actually stay at home because they are afraid to work. That’s okay, but don’t glorify it!

Anonymous on

I’m a professional working mom to 4 children all under the age of 6. I stayed home for a year when my twins were born and staying at home with two babies and a toddler was wayyyyyy harder than working as a lawyer at a busy law firm. Kudos to all stay at home moms. Unforunately now with 4 childern at home and 1 on the way I have to work to support college funds 🙂

Magnolia on

Wow! You go mama! 🙂

Jo on

She didn’t say anything about not wanting children. She simply said she wants both. Nothing wrong with that and it sets a good example for her kids.

amanda on

Why does it always have to come down to woman vs. woman (working vs. non-working; married vs. single)? Do what works for you. I think that’s all that was being said in this article…ugh. For the love of humanity, why must we women always have to make it a freakin’ competition?!

Isabel on

Every family has to do what’s best for them. No one’s a better mother for staying home, either.

chill out! on

Seriously, stop bashing Claire. She answered a simple question. She does not believe she would be a good SAHM but who says the child won’t be well taken care of? Maybe Hugh and Claire have a nanny…or maybe they both raise the child. Don’t judge what yo don’t know. A few people have asked “why have children if you don’t take care of them?” So are you saying that all women with families should be banned from the workforce so they can stay at home? That is completely asinine. It’s not the 1930s anymore! Women have the right to have families AND work if that is their preference.

4mom on

I have worked in the financial industry and been self employed. As a self employed mom my children are with me when they aren’t in school. This makes me uniquely able to do a lot of things I couldn’t do when I worked a public job and keeps me home when my kids need me. I love it! I could not do it however if I had to just stay home all day with the two that aren’t in school and wait for the two that are in school. I like talking to adults and exiting my house to go somewhere else, even if it is to feed the cows or bale hay. That being said, I don’t love my children any less because of this and guess what? I am raising them myself. She didn’t say she wouldn’t raise her kids, just that she wouldn’t stay home to do it!

Karen H on

Thank you anonymous, I was in investment banking before I had my daughter and taking care of her full-time is the hardest job I have ever had. This isn’t a knock to working Moms. Some Moms have to work, some chose to work, but raising children can not compare to any professional career.

And to AnneE who said working outside the home makes you more productive, efficient and independent. I say your full of it. SAHM are some of the most productive, efficient and independent women I know.

Candice on

To all of the people saying “Why did she want to have kids?” – hello, being a mother does NOT mean that you have to stay at home until they’ve left the nest.

Anonymous on

Everyone is entitled to their choice. What works best for one family may not work best in others. Everyone is allowed to make their own choices and people just need to back off about it. Stay at home or working, mom’s are important to their children.

Zoe on

I hope Karma bites her in the butt down the road and her husband has an affair on her. She had and affair with Billy Crudup while his wife Marie Louise Parker at the time was 7 months pregnant. Doesn’t say a lot for her morals and now she’s implying stay at home moms have no focus. I have ZERO respect for this ho!!!! And no photographer will ever make her look sexy.

Magnolia on

She looks TERRIBLE in that makeup and her hair is a rats nest!! She can’t wear that much makeup!! Ick!

LM on

What I find off putting are the comments that parents who aren’t stay at home aren’t raising their own kids. That’s silliness. Kids always know who their parents are. I work outside the home and my son has never confused a teacher, or babysitter as his mommy. We spend lots and lots of quality time together, but it doesn’t happen to be between 8-5 on Mon-Fri. That’s what works best for us (my son loves school, friends, learning, etc). Every family has to do what works for them. However, saying a working parent isn’t raising their own kids is idiotic. For the women who say that, who is being a father to your kids (I assume they have at least one working parent)?

Cammy on

Wow, just wow. I mean, Ms. Dane, you presumably have a nanny which allows you to work. To each his own. But there are stay at home Moms who might want to work, but can’t for a variety of reasons – it may be more costly to work and put kids in day care. Many women feel guilty, some are isolated, but some love being a stay at home Mom. The point is, when you’re making millions of dollars, you have that option.

Vanna on

Being a stay-at-home mom is very hard work. I’ve been doing it the last several years and it’s more work then working outside the home. I know several women who went back to work and hired others to care for their kids during the day. There are moments when the kids are throwing up on me or crying that I miss my old day job…

olive on

Savvy, i really love her acting in EVERYTHING she has ever been in, but you are spot on about your comment. Super shady stuff that was when that happened.

Zoe on

She’s nothing but a tramp. She had an affair with Biily Crudop when his wife Mary Loiuse Parker was 7 months pregnant and stayed at that for 2 years. Why not talk about that accomplishment Claire? Now u put down stay at home moms? Your parents must be soooo proud.

Robin on

In the second photo she looks exactly like Gwyneth Paltrow.

Agoodwin on

I know several people who would never consider being stay home mom’s, but ADORE their children and are there for them 100%.

I have two kids, and while I originally wanted to stay home – my husband actually did. Looking back, I often wonder if I would have been a good stay-home mom. Love my kids more than the world, but my husband is way more creative, spontaneous than me. Also helped that he had a degree in education and psychology.

To each their own. I do not thinks he was putting ANYONE down for THEIR choices (relax SHMs)…she was simply stating how she personally feels…and she’s not alone.

Anonymous on

I’ve done both and whoever says that working is the easy way out is INSANE.

Shelby on

Some moms aren’t great at staying at home. So what? At least she knows it and can arrange some great child care.

Addie on

I have to say that reading all these comments when you’re not from the U.S is absolutely fascinating! I’m from Denmark and to me this is the most outdated discussion I have ever witnessed! Whether or not a woman is entitled to a career after becoming a mother – really? Do we live in the 1960’s? Cause to me, that’s where this discussion belongs. I do know things are different in the U.S and traditionally there has been a significant amount of social status connected with being able to be a SAHM, so I’m not trying to sound judgmental at all. But being an anthropology student I find this difference between two western countries extremely interesting! In Denmark today it would be virtually impossible to find a woman, who wants to be a SAHM – and though I can’t speak on behalf of the rest of Europe, I will at least say that the situation is the same in the other Scandinavian countries. A woman’s desire for a career is simply never even questioned, even after you have children. Conditions are a bit different though – in Denmark you get a full year of maternity leave, which the parents can divide between them as they wish. Although it’s still primarely the woman, who takes the full year of leave, it’s getting more and more common for men to take some of the leave as well. But when that year is up, both parents are back at work, no questions asked. That is the norm and what is wrong with that? As modern women it’s completely acceptable to have more than one goal in life – to think that all women are completely content just being mothers is, undoubtedly, narrowminded. I really am astonished that this discussion is even happening still – as a Danish person, from my cultural viewpoint, you might as well be discussing whether or not you believe in racial equality and civil rights – it’s that outdated! And to assume that children of working mothers are somehow neglected, lacking parental love, morals and values is beyond laughable – in that case Denmark would be pretty damn screwed up by now – I am 23 years old and do not know a single SAHM at all! None in my family, friends’ families – none that I can think of! You have to go back a couple of generations to find a noteworthy amount of SAHMs in Denmark – even my grandmother worked her entire life as a nurse, with five children! – and Denmark has higher education rates and lower crime rates than the U.S (not judging, just stating facts!). Don’t get me wrong, I do respect that there’s a cultural difference when it comes to SAHMs, I am not attacking that fact whatsoever – there is no right or wrong in that matter, as I believe our differences are what make us unique. What I am attacking is the hopelessly outdated idea of working mothers being bad mothers, which is an idea still prevalent here for some people unfortunately. I had hoped and honestly thought that we, as intelligent human beings and modern women of the Western world, had put such ignorance behind us a long time ago.

LuvBigCity on

You girls do know that “…” means some of what she said was taken out of the interview, right??? So who knows what she had said in between that. You are taking this out of context, I do not see how she is slamming SAHM. I am the same way as her, I LOVE LOVE my kids but knew I wanted to be a RN and work. Remember f all women stayed home instead of work, imagine what the hospital would be like…no help since majority of RN’s are female, including doc, administrators, house cleaning…think about it. So for some of you to say some else is raising our children you are wrong, I guess I can say that when you all send your kids to school, unless you homeschool then isn’t someone else raising your kids?? Think before you post.

joan on

“It’s easier to stay in a career that you have built then to step away and out of your comfort zone to raise a brilliant, well behaved, moral child.”

Hey TLC, so we are supposed to assume that every child of a stay at home mom is all that! How stuck up of you.

jaja on

Working mothers are STILL mothers (and can be just as good/bad as SAHMs), just like most fathers are still fathers even if they *gasp* choose to work. So many incredibly offensive comments here.

Stacy on

I’d be willing to bet that some of you stay at home moms send your kids to mother’s day out four days a week. Of course, that’s not daycare, right? on

I’m sure I’ve said that in the past and yes it was subtly condescending when I said it too. Now I am a stay-at-home mom because either I can raise them my way with my values or the universe and the airhead babysitter can raise them with their values… and then they grow up totally different from me and who are they? Really, if you want something done right you truly have to do it yourself.

All of my drive and skills from my working days serve me well when it comes to raising children I am so proud of and doing what I can do to maintain my own sense of self-identity (that part of it is frankly suffering a bit – but maybe when the youngest is more self-reliant it comes back).

Now I just feel bad for the wee ones just starting out with their “best laid plans…”. Good for them. You go get it honey! 🙂

Anonymous on

Just add that to other things she’s “lousy” at…like leaving other women’s men alone.

Suzette Boilard on

My dream retirement would involve a great log cabin in the mountains. Who needs a beach?

Crystal on

I definitely take offense to SAHM’s who imply that working moms are moms that do not raise their children. What a blanketed and EXTREMELY ignorant statement. Just because you are able to stay at home does NOT make you a superior parent. It doesn’t even make you a better parent. All it means is that you made a different choice than other moms that decide to work. My SIL could not STAND being at home. She was so bored she actually went back to work earlier than the 6 weeks she was allowed. I LOATHE the SAHM vs Working Mom debate. It’s childish and very outdated. It has been said before and I will say it again……..SUPPORT A WOMAN’S CHOICE!!! There are some mothers that are not financially able to stay at home. There are others like my sil who literally went stir crazy at home. She needed the camaraderie of coworkers and adults instead of crying babies and Barney. I think it is extremely RUDE to imply that you shouldn’t have children just because you enjoy working. It’s thoughtless and plain unkind. Think of how many wonderful blessings whom wouldn’t be here if the world thought like you. We all raise our children differently. However, the common factor in all of this is that WE ARE ALL RAISING OUR CHILDREN. Frankly, how we raise our children is nobody’s business but our own. It definitely isn’t up for discussion, debate or scrutiny. The sooner we learn that and stand up for a woman’s right to make her own decision and start SUPPORTING each other, the better off we as a society will be.