Jillian Michaels: I Don’t Want to Be a Helicopter Parent

09/04/2012 at 09:00 AM ET
Courtesy of Redbook

She may have been known for her tough tactics on The Biggest Loser, but motherhood has left Jillian Michaels considerably softer — both inside and out.

“I went to interview Suze Orman for The Insider and her wife said, ‘You’re chubby!’ย And Suze said, ‘You look like a mommy now,'” Michaels, 38, tells the October issue of Redbook magazine.

“I look at my body and go, ‘Five pounds heavier.’ But part of me really likes it.”

The new mom — she adopted Lukensia from Haiti last May — is determined to instill the same confidence in her daughter, from focusing on role models including the “curvaceous” Beyoncรฉ to encouraging her toddler to be independent.

“Kids are accident-prone; they’re going to tumble. As long as I know she’s not going to die or get badly hurt, it’s okay,” Michaels — who announced on Today Tuesdayย that she’ll be returning to The Biggest Loser in January to work with obese teenagers — explains.

“We’d rather her be adventurous and fall and get back up, than helicopter around her and make her feel fragile.”

Teaching Lukensia to be confident in her own skin is nothing new to Michaels; The adoption of her baby girl coincided with her opening up about her relationship with Heidi Rhoades and the birth of the couple’s son, Phoenix.

“When we were having kids, I thought, ‘How am I supposed to hide a newborn?’ So we thought, ‘Let’s talk about it,'” she reveals. “It wasn’t so much about coming out. It was more about, ‘Okay, this is my family.'”

And since she and Rhoades went public with their family of four, Michaels’ personal life has been nothing short of positive.

“I’m more fulfilled than I’ve ever been. I think there was always a little bit of emptiness that I tried to fill with something,” she says. “Heidi has helped me a lot and settled me down, but the kids have made me reevaluate everything.”

Including, she muses, the “tough decisions” on whether to live it up Vegas-style or stay close to home. “Now friends will go to Vegas for the weekend and we’re like, ‘Take pictures,'” Michaels shares of life with the kids.

“When Lu looks at me and goes, ‘Mama, I love you!’ I go, ‘Fft. Who needs Vegas?'”

Courtesy of Redbook

— Anya Leon

FILED UNDER: Babies , Kids , News , Parenting

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Showing 176 comments

KD on

wow Stefani what a racial comment….

Elspeth on

Do you mean “racist”? Because there’s no such thing as a racial comment.

Vane on

Are u serious look at the bigger pic here

Shawna on

Holy cow Stefani! Do you seriously not know how inappropriate your comment is??? What century are you living in??

CarlaMarieV on

She’s back to Biggest Loser!!! Thank God!! Hopefully Bob is there with her!! That would be perfect!!

Lisa on

NO WIRE HANGERS! is all that comes to mind when I read any article about Jillian Michaels ๐Ÿ˜‰

Lila on

Lu and Phoenix are precious! That family snap is beautiful!

Jen DC on

Actually, Lukensia isn’t that dark, comparatively. But Stefani, this is one of things you think, but don’t say. There is never a good way to bring up the depth of someone’s complexion, and is still a fraught subject in this country.

I’m ecstatic to see the huge grin on Lukensia’s face, though! She seems like such a serious and/or grumpy little lady in other shots I’ve seen; this is very joyful. And Phoenix – quiet little guy. Both of them are adorable and I’m SO GLAD Jillian is going back to TBL. Loved her attitude and toughness.

kjc on

So nice to see that pic of Jillian with her kids, and have Lu smiling. She seemed a frightened little girl when they first brought her home, glad she is feeling happy and comfortable with her family.

kattrip on

What a wonderful picture. Jillian’s children are so adorable! Add me to the list of people very happy Jillian is coming back to BL.

Jacquelyn on

I was going to comment on how ridiculous it was for someone to call Jillian “chubby”.

But, dang, Stefani – talk about insensitive and inappropriate.

I’ve always like Jillian and I’m happy to see she’s going to be back on TBL.

And, happy she has such an adorable little family.

Erin on

Wow Stefani, that is such an ignorant thing to say. I’m an African American female and find that really offensive. If you’re a mother, I hope that kind of ignorance and blatant prejudice isn’t what you are teaching your children. On another more positive note, Jillian looks great and really happy!

Allana on

Agreed! Sometimes ppl aren’t considerate when discussing ppl diff. Then them either within or outside of their race, ethnicity, religion. That why it was a rude comment. Its fine to refer to some bodies complexion, it’s the way she spoke if her complexion that is all wrong.

I work in a hospital in physical therapy and a senior white women I work with kept saying how dark I was, and was like wow is your skin real? She touch and looked at me like I was a damn museum exhibit, it felt so weird because you have to realize that within my race and community theres nothing weird, diff., or abnormal about me. I never treat other ppl like a space alien even when they’re diff. And I want to learn and be exposed to them.

Anonymous on

Why is Commenting on the shade of a persons skin considered to be a negative comment? Hopefully she will grow up to be a proud confident woman who embraces the colour of her skin. People can be so sensitive when it comes to race!!

b on

How does race factor into this article? Our country is very racist, so everytime people see a picture of a black person, they have to comment. So sad!

Allana on

It has nothing to do with being overly sensitive or tip-toeing around complexion, choice of words and tone and approach are aleays going to be important.

I’m a very dark skinned African American women, and I’m happy to be…but is it really necessary for a white colleague to describe me as dark, dark, dark, dark, dark (is repeating the word 10x needed) it gets offensive and its ALL RELATIVE because to other dark ppl Lu isnt perceived to be as dark as a white person may view her. When I look in the mirror u don’t see dark x 20.

Sometimes I feel like the majority looks at everyone else as if they’re odd or abnormal… I’ve had ppl ask me why I’m so dark, and I’m thinking I would never ask someone why they’re light or why their hair is straight, it just is.

Most women don’t care to be compared to an ace of spades or tar, same as I’d rather be called slim than a toothpick (its the connotation behind these word and terms that make some statements negative, insulting, and offensive.

Maragret on

I am so happy and proud of Jillian. Her children are beautiful! My children are adopted and we are a beautiful colorful family. My daughter is african american but all I see is a beautiful, confident teen who knows she is loved no matter what. Color is not an issue. Stefani you need to re-evaluate your thoughts and perhaps think before speaking!

Jess on

Amen! I totally agree 100%!! skin color is so irrelevant all that’s important is that she is in a happy home with a loving family! Stefani the comment was rude, insensitive, and highly uncalled for!

Sandy on

Although I don’t like Stefani’s comment WHY so sensitive??

I DO NOT tan. In fact I’m very pale. No one thinks twice about saying- your SO pasty and white as a sheet or man your as white as a ghost or many other comments. Would one person find that offensive if someone said that about a white child?? NO- people are SO hyper sensitve when it comes to people of color but when it comes to white people- anything goes. LIghten up!

Allana on

Actually, me personally would have a problem with that. I’m probably the complexion of viola davis and because wouldn’t want someone to say certain negative or random comparisons to me I wouldn’t say certain things that I thought would offend you. I would going for very fair, light or say porcelain. Of course if I knew you well and what offends you and what humors you I’d ease up in that.

Same as anything else like weight, some ppl you can call fat or a pixie stick or talk about they’re body in censored, but if youre not familiar with ppl or in a public forum it’s just human decency to consider how offensive youre being.

Guest on


mae on

Actually, anyone who is making comments about your white skin is also being racist even if they are white themselves. You should educate these people anytime they make ignorant comments about the color of your skin.

Kell on

You’re an idiot

ali on

I’m in the same boat as you! Very light and people don’t think its insensitive to tell me how pasty I am or how transparent my skin can be!!

Makita on

I’m dark chocolate. If I said something about the light complexion of your skin & we don’t know each other that well, I would be as wrong as Steffani! Ignorance is not Limited to certain races, nor is manners. We come see things every day that we could comment on, but using common sense can take one a long way.

Shawn on

I don’t think the statement is racist, nor do we know the color of Stephanis skin to say that she is. What I will say is the reason some ppl are sedative to color is because they have been made to feel inferior because of it- particularly darker skin African- Americans. So to compare being called pasty or pale to black as an ace of spades is really no comparison in terms of the lingering racial connotations connected to it. Not saying it’s ok to call you that, but no one has ever been lynched for being to pale either.

Holiday on

Stefani that comment is something my 85 year old racist grandma would say. So inappropriate!! She is a gorgeous little girl who looks so happy.

Leslie on

Stefani’s comment wasn’t racist… she was simply noticing Lu’s skin tone, which is beautiful. What was so negative about what she said? If she had commented on how pale a white child’s skin was no one would have blinked.

The people on here who are outraged and think no one should mention black skin color are the ones with problems. Telling people that they should ignore it or pretend they don’t notice are making being black a taboo subject, which is more dangerous. Now, if what Stefani had said was mean spirited, it’s a different thing… but she seemed to be saying the family is cute.

Anonymous on

Leslie- I agree. I don’t think Stefani meant anything bad by what she said. In fact, I found her comment rather endearing! Like other posters have said, it’s no different than if someone had commented on a pale white child’s adorable Casper the Friendly Ghost look! ๐Ÿ™‚

Anyway, Lu is adorable, and Phoenix (who’s also adorable) looks so much older than four months! Must be all that hair! ๐Ÿ˜‰

MiB on

That picture is soo adorable!

JM on

The only way we can change race being such a sensitive issue and treating it as if it is just another phyisical attribute is to just not be hypocritical about it. if you all take a minute you won’t actually be able to find anything that was negative in stefani’s comment, she was merely stating the obvious. most black people i know tend to not have a problem with voicing the fact that their skin is black, i mean, it is. as long as it is not said in any way negatively then what’s the problem?

it’s true, we do the same thing all the time for other physical attributes. ‘fiery red hair’, ‘pasty and pale’, ‘sky blue eyes’, their all just descriptive. there is a difference between saying we are all equal and pretending we are all the same. we all look different, that is not an inherently bad thing!

Allana on

Very darked skinned women and I agree with most of your statement. But I do think there’s a fine line when something is offensive. I Personally would ask anyone who called me black as an ace of spades not to do so again, whether they were black or white, I have no problem with ppl discussing my color, complexion just depends on how they do it. it’s all about ur experiences with ppl and where u live and such.

Me personally I would never stay someone was white as Casper or something. But then again maybe if they were a close friend who referred to themselves like that. My friend I call a ginger I do so becus he does, I would just start meeting new red heads and saying what up! Ginger or fire crotch or stay ur as spotted as…

I used to work at a summer camp as a teen and the children would ask me why I’m so black and I would wonder why they asked that because I never asked white ppl why they’re white or freckled or more tan. I knew I was a minority and not the only type of person in the world.

Besides that my parents always exposed me to diff. Groups of ppl and I’m a new Yorker so we’ve got a lot of diversity. This effects the perspective in which I speak to ppl. When I went to college some many ppl said they never really knew any black ppl. They asked questions about my lips, hair something’s came off as rude others, just questions.

h0 on

I did not pick up any negativity from stefani’s comments. Reading the comments made me realize that i probably should not comment on anyone’s features because it may be taken out of context.

megan on

Wow, Suze and her wife are rude to say that to Jillian

Shay on

Being “black” is beautiful! Although, I believe Stephanie meant no harm I would still have expressed my feelings differently. It just didn’t come across as most would express.

Regardless, Lu & Phoenix are adorable and my partner & I wish to have such a beautiful family someday.

God Bless the Michael-Rhoades family!

Kelly on

Love Jillian! Glad she is happy – her family is beautiful! Also, relieved she will be returning to the Biggest Loser! It has not been the same on that show, since she left! Can’t wait!! She’s an inspiration to women everywhere!

Shea on

Relax folks I’m sure they didn’t mean it that way. Gees, lighten up.

Dawn on

Its really too bad that anybody even noticed the difference in skin colour. The only thing everyone should see is the amazing smile on Jillian and her gorgeous daughters face…..

Tricia on

I am SO SICK AND TIRED of people pointing out, bullying, teasing or any form of negativity for traits that a person has NO CONTROL over. Hair, skin, eye colors, mental or physical disabilities, etc. Have some class and teach our kids by example, then there would be a lot less bullying and a lot more self confident children. NOBODY IS PERFECT INSIDE OR OUT!!!

cb on

Whether/not to go to Vegas is a “tough decision?” I hope she matures some more, and in time for the long haul.

cb on

Her kids are spectacularly adorable.

Faye on

In the black community saying that someone is as black as an ace of spades is actually a compliment!!! I should know, I’m black but I’m high yella as they also say!!!

Makita on

I’m black as well, but HISTORY shows that “black as an ace of “spade” is NOT meant as endearing, but as a NEGATIVE connotation!

Julie on

What an amazing photo! Jillian looks radiant and content. Can’t wait to see her on BL in January!

Anonymous on

It was def. a racist comment. People dont go around commenting how white white people are. Come on, seriously.

I KNEW Stefani would come back with a “I have black friends” or “I have black relatives” comment to justify it. I dont even believe she is married to a black man. lol Seriously, who the hell comments something like that about a child?

Stefani, shame on you. You must be some southerner where that is actually a tame comment for the likes of you. What a piece of crap!!!!!!! I would love to see if you had the balls to say that to Jillians face about her child.

Ashley on

Anonymous – you are just as guilty with you “some Southener” comment. And why was it automatically assumed that Stefani is white? You people are entirely too sensitive!

Allana on

Your husband and children are irrelevant to your comment, ppl within a race can make offensive race comments. If you go to work or somewhere and say something insulting or offensive to somebody saying I say it all the time to my husband, or sister, or friends does not make it any less offensive or insulting. That’s your family dynamic.

Personally when I saw Lu I thought she’s a very deep dark, ebony like. Your daughter may be fine being raised by a mother who thinks they’re as black as an ace of shades but many dark skin women including myself wouldn’t anymore than ink, burnt toast, or midnight. Whereas I personally am not offended when I’m called dark chocolate. Sometimes it’s just how you say it because this is the Internet, and just like texting we can’t hear your voice and tone.

Once a coworker made a joke about me Tanning, I can tan so the joke didn’t even make sense to me but all my white coworkers thought it was funny, I guess they’re view of that is diff. But I wasn’t offended simply because I know them well and their intentions, and I know how they feel about me. If it was someone I don’t know very well I would have been taken aback and questioning those statements.

Shawnalee on

Its people like Stefani, making remarks like that, that bring it to Lu’s attention that shes “different” than the rest of her family. And it makes the family’s job to protect her from stupid shit like that harder! How about some sensitivity training Stefani?! Its a beautiful pic but I wish there was one with Heidi in it too.

Anonymous on

ANONYMOUS……you made a great point! After being shocked over Stefani’s comment and agreeing with all the other posts, I read yours and was enlightened. Why do we automatically think of it negatively? If someone said I was white as a ghost would you think they were racist? It’s just an observation. Lighten up people.

Anonymous on

I don’t think Stefani meant that as a racist comment. She was just merely stating a fact – that that little girl’s skin is black. There is nothing to be ashamed of. If someone commented that “that person is whiter than a ghost”, there would be no crying racist, it would just be a funny comment of comparison. Like saying “Hey that person could use some sun”.

Nana on

Gorgeous, adorable family–I wish them nothing but the sweetest gifts life can bring them all ๐Ÿ™‚

puddy on

She makes me sick. She couldn’t ruin her body by having kids. She is an ego maniac and I hope those kids will grow up to be great people.

Chubette on

Good Lord, five extra pounds on her tiny body makes her chubby?!?

Pam on

Open mouth stick insert foot Stefani. What a racist thing to say.

I suppose if we saw a picture of you, we could say didn’t get hit with the pretty stick.

Congratulations to Jillian and Heidi and God Bless their family.

Guest on

Phoenix is a cutie!!!

Guest on

That was funny

stockdale on

To all those calling Stefani’s comment racial, this is from a non-white person: Why is calling someone black as ace of spades in the bubbly way Stefani did racial ? She said she loves the family. She obviously doesn’t mean anything derogatory by it. Is being black wrong/derogatory per se ? Don’t we call pale white people all sorts of things ? So being whiter than white is ok but black not ?

True integration will be achieved when we can make fun of each other’s exaggerated features/idiosyncrasies without having them mean as an insult to the persons character/status/values. We need to learn to distinguish racism by intent not merely by words. Otherwise a lot of innocent people will be vilified and this will perpetuate racism and negativity, not reduce it.

mine on

Suze has a wife???

Katy on

The term “spade” is a racial slur going back decades. I cannot believe no one has ever told you that Steffanie.

Elaine on

Maybe the reason the comment on the skin tone of Lu stood out so much because nothing was not said about her sister’s skin tone. When you point out one, it jumps off the page as insensitive. Black people come in all colors, so to point out how dark she seems, was jarring.

aaaaa on

Try having a baby for real and then teach weight loss and excercise. Until u have actually been pregnant and had a baby, u know shit

Guest on

To aaaa I’ve had three lovelys worked out after each one and I’m at my same weight since my early twenties and I’m now in my forties. YOU my dear know sh*t!!!!

Lash on

I have a 3.5 year old, a 14 month old, a full time job and no domestic help and I find time to eat right and work out. All of the size 6s that fit before I had kids desperately need to be taken in. You absolutely can lose weight post-babies.

Anonymous on

It’s ok to say someone is black or dark , but not compare their complexion to something , my god , we are all human beings and the colour of our blood is RED. They are happy and that’s all that matters. I am a black woman and i am happy to know that many people in this world is over the race thing to the point where we have lots of inter-racial marriages and adoptions.Happy life Jillian.

Manon on

All that matters is the “parents” are taking great care of the kids AND that they’re happy & well adjusted. Who cares what their skin color is, or nationality for that matter? Love is Love!

Cindy on

Stefani….you must be a real self-absorbed A** H***!

Congratulations on a beautiful family, Jillian!

Jennifer on

You’re going to call someone chubby that is fit as can be and gained a measly 5 pounds? And you wonder why people have self-esteem issues….*smh*

Kathy on

Color doesn’t matter, being happy does, obviously she is and that’s wonderful!!!

lovestojog on

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Congratulations, Jillian.

amanda on

what a beautiful family ! good for her and her partner ๐Ÿ™‚

Manon on

Who CARES the color of a persons skin? All that’s important is a child is being raised in a healthy, non abusive environment! LOVE Is LOVE—I commend anyone for taking on the responsibility of raising a child, adoption, whatever, it’s a great act of compassion,,

paula on

Being married to a black man and having black adopted children doesn’t make your comment any less offensive. You could’ve chosen better words in your description. Smdh.

Manon on

Who cares what the color of ones skin is? I commend anyone for having the compassion for raising a child, biological or not. LOVE is LOVE! As long as a child is healthy, not abused, fed properly & given lots of attention & affection,, the world needs more of this!

meg on

im a simgle mom 2 a four year old who is like me portuguese and no one thinks twice about commenting 2 me about his complexion which is a beautiful deep tan color.and if jillian is fat then i dont stand a chance at ever being thin.

Mary on

That comment was so inappropriate. With that said, LOVE Jiliian & I know she’s a wonderful mom!

KAG on

I hope you made that remark to get a BIG reaction. I hope you really don’t feel that way. Haven’t you heard there is no color to love? She’s a little girl who needed a home? Get a clue with your racist comment.

Sarah on

There are tons of kids over here in the USA y doesn’t she adopt one from here

Allana on

I don’t neccessarily feel like ” stefani is a racist”, but the comment itself is. I has a lot of negative history behind it. Post civil war the ace of spades was a mean spirited derogatory comment so some people hear it from another perspective. For instance when ppl makes jokes about blacks and swimming I wonder if ppl know the history that blacks were not allowed in public pools, also that in certain areas in the last 3 year owners have posted signs saying whites only on pools. The ppl making the jokes are saying things they think are funny but they’re not funny to everyone at all

candianblackgirl on

Stefani….it’s all good. I’m black, and i don’t take offence. In fact, I almost thought you were my mom…she used to say the exact same thing! Another thing she used to say…. Black is beautiful!

Cathy on

She didn’t seem like a very happy person, but it looks like she found what she was missing. Lovely family, beautiful picture, congratulations.

paula on

I can’t believe they said Jillian was fat. That’s ridiculous and far fetched. As far as her being a lesbian, I didn’t believe it until she did the article about her wife having a baby.

Kath on

I have been teased my entire life for being extremely pale. I’ve heard – Wow, are you an albino or something? I was teased unmercifully in school – Casper, Milk, Geisha, you name it. I’ve had woman at makeup counters make some of the most absurd comments. My Japanese mother-in-law is completely fascinated by my skin but first thing out of her mouth when my son was born was thank goodness he didn’t have my skin. But I promise you if I said something to any of the people that their comments were racist I would laughed at from Sunday and back.

Shawn on

She was insensitive, but I don’t think she meant to use the phrase in a racial tone. BUT she did use a term that many racist have. Historically, spade was used to describe black ppl negatively, so I understand why some pll are up in arms.

Mary on

Cute kids, she looks happy.

Karen on

I read that she didn’t want to get pregnant because she didn’t want to do that to her body. If she said that, I worry about what horrible values that will be in a mother toward her children.

Mama on

I thought the same thing when I first heard that but then I read an interview where she clarified by saying she has endometriosis so she didn’t think she could put her body through a pregnancy.

JR on

It kinda bothers me that somehow the words “chubby” and “you look like a mommy” in this article are apparently synonymous… but she looks great, and her kids are completely adorable!

Guest on

I’m so tired of people acting the victim, thinking their entitled, and so on…. I don’t know WHY any of us waste our time reading all this trash and getting worked up about it?! BIG waste of time!! For all!! :/

JJ on

Damage control. She adopts 2 kids after being in hot water for saying she would never get pregnant to “ruin” her body.

Melanie on

Anonymous on

I think the color comment just shows how completely stupid the individual truly is. The statement….It is better to be though of as a fool that to open your mouth and prove it…comes to mind. That is a precious baby; how dare that fool make such a racial comment?

JJ on

Melanie– PR control. She said that AFTER being attacked by the media and moms for her original statements when she said that she would never get pregnant to ruin her body.

Paula on


Amberley on

Why so many comments on skin color….that never crossed my mind until I read the comments…I saw two happy children with a happy mom….wow…

Rita on


Anonymous on

@ Leslie, Anonymous and Stefani- nothing is wrong with voicing your opinion but Stefani, have you really ever seen someone black as the ace of spades and really, have you ever seen a white person? No, none of us has. There is nothing wrong with commenting on people’s complexion. I am of an african american decent and it’s rather faux paus for you to make such a comparison. Like you, I am married to a man from what is called the “white race.” That does not entitle me to going around calling people “white as snow” because no one exists who is white as snow. I don’t even know if I should refer to your comment as a figure of speech- it is not. If you want to comment on people’s color, describe it as something with is real and not something that is so demeaning. Have some respect to your husband and your children!

Anonymous on

Wow, so many comments on skin color. I was thinking how cute the kids are and where is Heidi?

Neveah on

So, Anonymous you don’t see the hypocrisy in saying Stefani “must be a southerner” because you think she’s a racist? Don’t you see you calling all people who live in the south racists? I grew up in California & moved to the south, and have really seen how self-righteous, hypocritical & ignorant people from other areas of the country can be about the south. Yes, there are racists here, just like there are from your state. And why do you assume Stefani isn’t black herself? Black people do talk a lot about their own skin tone, haven’t you noticed? Or have you not been around them much since they don’t live in your state?

Guidita from the Shore on

She’s a exercise freak. Of course, Jillian the barbarian is going 2 opt out of carrying a baby. Her figure is the only thing keeping her relevant. Another celebrity entering parenthood. Woopity do.

Vane on

Stefani- if you couldn’t care less you would have left the situation alone and not have commented. You are attempting to start this whole debate to cause issues! If you are a mother to 2 black children I would think you are more sensitive and think how your children would feel if someone said that about them! I sure hope you are not so blind as to think your comment was ok and taking away from the fact that this woman adopted a child in need and they are truly happy! You made yourself look like an idiot in both comments!

anonymous on

Beautiful family.

With all due respect, in the black community, saying that someone is black as an ace of spade is a racist slur going back even before Jim Crow. Period. End of discussion. There is no justification. It doesn’t matter how anyone puts it, it is RACIST and OFFENSIVE. My son is Lu’s color, and if someone ever said that to or about him, there would be hell to pay.

SAE on

I don’t think Stefani’s comments are particularly racist, she may have intended on comparing her to something dark and beautiful. However calling someone a spade was/is considered to be a derogatory term; at one point in history as bad as dropping the “n” bomb. I think commenting on her skin tone isn’t the issue but perhaps the wrong word. I think that maybe using the word “spade” wasn’t as thoughtful as some of you think it should be…:-)

someone on

Grief. I didn’t find Stefani’s comment derogatory at all. And let’s not be color blind, folks. The first thing you notice about someone is the color of their skin….you don’t gloss over it. It was pretty obvious to me she was commenting on Lu’s dark skin tone… much as I’ve noticed someone has a blue/black color vs. a mocha one. The only difference is she *said* what many of us were probably already thinking.

Plenty other things to get riled up about. I still get comments on how pale skinned and “opaque” I am as an adult. Whatever. Some people just enjoy voicing the obvious. And it’s all too easy to read too much into text. It isn’t always a big flipping deal, ya know?

jada on

I’m sorry stefani..what do u mean black like the ace of spades….what colour are you?

Jen on

Someone called this woman chubby? How rude and far from the truth. Even if spoken in jest, NO woman wants to hear that.

Jen on

Btw I can’t believe the moderators allowed that ace of spades comment to post.

Makita on

I agree! What she said was most definitely not meant in a favorable way, but some people are how they are & there is no changing them. I’d rather a racist admit to being a racist, than to use the ole, ” why do people always play the old race card?” or”” ” I’m not prejudice!” my co-worker starts every sentence off like that when speaking about minorities. It burns my a-hole! You are a racist! I know, u know & so does everyone else, own it, deal with it & keep going, because you’re the one who ultimately loses out on wonderful relationships, with wonderful people!

Jen on

One last comment…I was quietly thinking to myself how gorgeous Lu’s skin looked again all of the beige background. Never once did I think about just how dark her skin was. Just beautiful.

Princey on

So happy to see Lu smiling. Looks like Jillian and her partner put a lot of love and time into making her feel safe and special.

As a black person I don’t think that it is wrong or negative to comment on a person’s skin tone. The problem is that too many people who comment on dark skin do not mean it favorably, they mean to insult you. Unfortunately explaining that to some people who don’t have darker skin tones is like me explaining PMS to my husband. He might sympathize but because he has never and will never experience it, he really doesn’t get it.

I'm Standing Right Behind You on

I like what Jillian said how it’s not about coming out, it’s about showing her family.

While I think it’s awesome that more public figures are coming out, it’s no big deal…be honest with who you are.

KJo on

What a great little family, I’m very happy for them all. Jillian sounds like she’s off to a great start with motherhood ๐Ÿ™‚

Anonymous on

Why exactly is everyone up in arms about the shade of the baby. Stupid, what I had a problem with was the oh, you look like a mommy now, you’re chubby. Really? Chubby. That is the most offensive part of this interview. Five pounds. Yeesh. Great role model. She’s okay with her new body that she didn’t birth from. That is obnoxious. Who cares who she’s with or what color her children are.

Melanie on

Why are Americans so obsessed with adopting across cultures? Children should be raised by “their own” or you are robbing a child of their heritage and culture, that’s what I think. I don’t agree with cross-ethnic adoption. I don’t understand why these adoptions are allowed – one of the parents should be the same race as the child to be adopted. Also how are single women able to adopt ahead of married couples? I suspect money greases wheels? What’s the world coming to…..

Makita on

Unfortunately, it’s people like you Melanie that cause beautiful, innocent children to go w/o a(n) loving parent(s). If u don’t believe in cross-ethnic adoption, don’t do it! For those persons that do so believe in it because they love & want a child, by all means do so. Do let NEGATIVE naysayers deter you. Its so unfortunate that after having come so far, we really haven’t come far at all. Children see live, not color. WE are TAUGHT to be “Racist!” not born that way!

Makita on

I meant to say DON’t let naysayers deter you. Children wouldn’t notice color if it was never pointed out to them. The same way Adam & Eve wouldn’t have known they were naked if Satan hadn’t told them.

Jess on

Melanie, that is a horrible thing to say. Those of us who happen to be INFERTILE and unmarried have every right to be a parents. Giving a child, ANY child, a chance at a stable, loving, happy life is the best thing you can do as a parent. Do you seriously think it is fair to go through the process and say you don’t want a child because of the skin color? What sort of message are you sending? As for Jillian and Heidi, good for them. For all you know, they could have been those kids’ ONLY shot at a happy life.

Ladybug on

I agree, what is the big deal because Stefani commented on how dark Lu’s skin is. Who cares? Those who are offended are the onces thinkikng about “racist”. I bet you wouldn’t think anything if she were to say Jillian is white as snow or call her casper. Such a double standard.

Beth on

Oh for crying out loud. Agree with all the lighten up comments. Honestly the little cuties skin color does jump out to the human eye and she is the first thing your eye is drawn to cause everything else in the photo is white! From the couch to the people to blanket. Other than the baby’s outfit which only has a little color in it.

Probably if it was the same pic in a park with other colors we wouldn’t even have this convo going on. The people picked the photo probably cause it is a good pic and a lot of the article was on parenting and the little girl so they wanted that to stand out. Its a great pic. Happy and loving family. Grow up.

I don’t see Steph as racist but yes saying certain things in text format doesn’t convey cause everyone reads it their own way. The next sentence was how cute and loving it was. Her eye focused on what stood out the most in the photo…. the one thing that wasnt white and the love and happiest that you can see in the family.

Bella on

I think Stefani made that comment to get a rise out of people, and it worked.

Oh no, not Suze Orman too. Yuck.

I don’t understand why everyone thinks the kids are SO beautiful. They’re ok, but nothing to write home about.

Beth on


jolley on

People need to quit trying to bring race into everything.Its disturbing. Noone cares that youre white and noone cares if youre tan and noone cares if youre black. so get off stefani’s back. She only said what most of yall were thinking and just dont have the balls to say. That little girl is really dark(anyone thats not blind can see that) and shes really beautiful no matter what because shes an innocent child. But luckily we have Freedom of speech in this country. so stop trying to be so uptight. its 2012 for petes sake!!! Time to find a new argument…playing the race card into EVERYTHING is played out.

Beth on

And they monitor and read over the posts before submitting to the public so I guess People mag didn’t find it racist

Donna on

Stef….what does color have to do with anything? Get a load of those smiles!! That say’t it all!!

Guest on

@Stefani thanks for noticing with your big eyes that Lu is black. Thanks for clarifying. By the way what does it friggin’ matter anyways. Why even make that comment. Jesus.

Sarah on

I don’t see what’s in the picture is what’s wrong with the picture.. It’s what’s missing in all of the pictures I see of this family. Doesn’t she have a partner. That’s what’s strange to me.

seriously? on

everyone here who is commenting on stefani’s comment is more racist than her. she mentioned a fact. Lu is black. as we can all see, she is an adorable, loved, beautiful little girl and she is black – as opposed to white… or purple… or neon yellow. just a statement. by implying that it is racist to mention that she is black you are all placing a judgment on color. you, not stefani.

Jen on

No I think People would’ve loved the debate. It helps the site. I guess it’s all about sensationalism. Not journalism.

Angel on

I LOVE the grin/giggles from Lu! She looks like she’ll be the handful and more adventurous of the two! Course it’s always the quiet one you have to look out for….LOL

Congrats to the awesome moms!

Jen on

Check Wiki: the French saying for black as the ace of spades is FILTHY as the ace of spades. It should make you think. Hear that, mods?

sheri on

LOL. People are crazy on here.Stefani isn’t racist for her comment she is just an a$$hole. For the life of me I can’t even begin to understand how being “black as the ace of spades” is a compliment. WTF does that even mean? If you were trying to be funny or complimentary try again – SUPER FAIL!

Makita on

sheri, you fail.

justlise on

5 pounds heavier and looks chubby and like a Mommy????What a bunch of crap. Gawd, some of the “famous” people are really obnoxious.

sheri on

Makita, if you condone this comment about a baby then your the failure in life!

Makita on

It’s clear that you DONT care about babies. If u would rather a child go from foster home to foster home or be w/ someone who doesn’t love or want them, then it is most definitely a blessing that u don’t want to adopt across the races. You actually don’t deserve to be a parent. You’re probably one of those racist who use Bible verses to defend your hatred towards minorities. It’s people like you that I pray for. As for whether or not I’m a failure or not, it you are the person who decided that I’m a failure, I don’t think I’ll be losing any sleep tonight. LAMO!

Makita on

Question. Why didn’t you say Lu reminds me of MY two daughters who look like little black ace of spades? this would have taken the negativity away! Probably, because they don’t exist.

starmilly on


Sheri on

OMG – Makita stop you got 5,000 arguments going on and none of them make any sense. Seriously – just to try and organize your comments for you…

I said, Stefani was a jerk for making the comment and you responded saying “Sheri, you fail”. I respond back saying no you do if you think her comment was OK. Now you are going on a crazy rant like the world is out to get you. FYI I’m black myself so chillax – you’re not that important!

Makita on

I just read response, I did not realize that I wrote a response 2 your comment. I truly apologize. I am big enough to admit when I am wrong & believe me I was/am wrong. Please accept my apology.

guest on

aww..super cute picture. beautiful family!

@Stefani, that comment is super inappropriate.

guest on

sorry, Sandy but that’s ignorant. you are white. whoopty-doo. good for you for being part of a cushy majority. yes it is insensitive.

Simsim on

It is nice to see Lu looking so happy and settled. Previous photos showed where she looked scared of her new environment. Beautiful family, cute little boy also. Jillian is bursting with happiness. It shows.

Lou on

I love it when celebrities are parents for mere months and start handing out advice and writing books on being a parent. I mean, seriously, go spend time with your kids. You don’t get to be an expert on this right now.

rachel on


You must be really unhappy within your own skin to make such a rude comment.

What a beautiful smile on that adorable girl .

Reva on

The most beautiful black is dark if you ask me! Look at Alek Wek! From the motherland and GORGEOUS! I won’t entertain this negative comment that gives disrespectful people more reason to act a fool. Just know you are ignorant!

too funny on

Beautiful family and pic. To bad all the other comments on this post are to discuss being racist or not. I believe there are 2 happy kids in this photo. Now to all the bored women at home with nothing better to do, comment away.

kala_x on

Stefani’s comment is inappropriate Spade was a racist slur against black people and to use that phrase to comment on that little girls complexion is. Who cares if your husband is black that’s not an it’s okay to be racist pass. and if you are raising black kids, god forbid, be careful on how you address them spade is inappropriate as well as monkey or darkie okay. good luck

Katy on

What a beautiful family. She is truly blessed!

Rhonda on

Stefani got the attention that she wanted. She admitted that she knew there’d be backlash and this was her intention of making that statement. I hope that she does not tell her “two gorgeous adopted black babies” that they are black as the ace of spade!

Karyn on

As someone who is dark skinned, some of ya’ll need to chill. The baby is dark and she is beautiful. As my momma used to say, the darker the berry the sweeter the juice.

what? on

really? All of you ” arguing” about what is a racist comment or not…. is really a waste of time! You are all right- as you have your own opinion and own Life EXPERIENCES! ….

gdgd on

Black as coal.

Puhleeze on

An extra five pounds is “chubby”‘?!

J on

WOW! Everyone who thinks what Stefani said to be racial or insensitive are pretty sensitive themselves. She was making a comment about how dark little Lu is. It’s not racial it’s an observation. Everyone needs to be a little more de-sensitized and not get all ralled up over someone’s comment. Get over it everyone. The little girl is pretty dark. End of story.

starmilly on

J, who gives a rats ass how dark she is? If its not a big deal, then what if I said “oh my look how pale and white her other daughter is”.You would be highly offended and please spare me the bullshit of saying you wouldn’t be.De-sensitized??? You’re obviously highly un-educated!!but I guess when you’re kicked back on tha farm waitin to milk tha cows n feed the chickens, you have nothing else to do but support the words of an racist idiot.

Melie on

Jillian has inspired me for years. So happy to see her and her beautiful family. She deserves the best in life. Congratulations to Jillian and Heidi!

Anonymous on

Good luck.. I’m happy for you n your family… ๐Ÿ™‚

Pale as a Cracker on

Seriously Melanie? Stick a sock in it. Americans aren’t obsessed with cross-cultural adoptions, we adopt other American babies who need homes. You see Americans come from everywhere, this is the land of the free. We are free to adopt our needy children and give them good homes because there are too many children out there that need homes for us to worry about your rudeness. Stop worrying about Americans (you obviously wouldn’t fit in here) and worry about your manners. As for the skin color issue, I get called out all the time for having very pale skin and not tanning. I’m not a huge fan of it being pointed out, especially when it’s such a double standard. I for one just see a beautiful family. Skin color has always been irrelevant to me, except when I sunburn so easily!

Kerry on

Jillian, your daughter and son are absolutely gorgeous. Congrats to you and Heidi. I can not wait to see you back on TBL in January!!!! Going to be an awesome season and I am heading out to get that issue of Redbook you are on

Elizby on

Calling a child as black as the ace of spades is bad manners. Jillian has a medical condition that prevents her from having children. Lukensia is a beautiful, smiling little girl who is obviously well loved. Beauty comes in all shades and it is nice to see variety.

Gloria on

@Stefani…..And you are just about as dumb as a box of rocks! Racist MUCH!

Alayna on

totally agree. while I don’t have any children yet I know the families I used to babysit for some of them were so overprotected. You want protect your kids but also let them experience life or they will be very sad kids. It is a balance and I am sure Jillian and Heidi know how to do that. Her kids are so cute! I am so psyched that she will be back on The Biggest Loser.

dudley doright on

stefani…what a horrible & rude comment about Lu.

JessicaB on

every child is different. wait until you see what each child needs at each stage before you decide “what’s best”. you can ead about parenting all you want, when you’re the mommy and its YOUR child, very different.

guest on

No one would say a thing if someone commented on someone’s pale skin. Lighten up. Good grief.

Diane on

I am a total Helicopter Parent when it comes to my child education, other then that i watch him carefully but i let him try things on his own. My son is 4 1/2 and he is learning about being careful on his own

Anonymous on

Lighten up people…And I’m not talking about skin tone – light OR dark! Stefani made a comment…no different that saying, Wow! She’s got really RED hair! Or…look at those freckles! Come on, you are being more racists by the comments you are saying because you are judging Stefani. Grow up, and show some decorum here, people. Aren’t we all AMERICANS? We are all different “colors”. And actually, I’m not white. I’m more of a peachy tan color. ๐Ÿ™‚ But being called WHITE doesn’t offend me.

Anonymous on

She’s very strange as in hair-stands-on-end strange, and what’s with the “Suze Orman and her wife” thing? They are all so sick. Do NOT tell me this is normal because it’s not. Very sick and twisted, but hey, if people don’t accept sick and twisted, then the sick and twisted consensus is that there’s something wrong with *them.* LOL.

w on

Really cute family, but her comments are a bit weird… hopefully they will be happy together

Mo-Jo on

What makes Stefani’s remark racists is that out of all the things you could comment on regarding the picture above, you chose to comment on the color of someone’s skin? Not “What a beautiful smile”, or “what a thick head of hair that little boy has” or even if you wanted to be specific “I can’t imagine how she gets a two year old to sit still long enough to platt her hair that way!”, but no . . . you go right to the core of your beliefs. “Lu is black as the ace of spades!!”. As if, out of the 100’s of things you can see in this pictures, we’re going to MISS the color of a child’s skin? Thanks for pointing it out though. I was so busy admiring such a happy and loving family I hadn’t taken the time to notice! This is why your comment is racist. The fact that you even NOTICED!

Beth on

And noticed since it is the first comment and has 3 days worth of comments.

nic on

why does everything somebody says have to be considered racist? im constantly hearing and reading about black people getting offended by somebody saying something and always pulling the race card…LIGHTEN UP! black,white,indian,who cares, we’re all equal, you’re not more special then any other race.

cBlack on

I’m REALLY late to this comment blog of Jillians kids. But I do not find @Stefani comment racist at all… I thought the same thing when I first saw her picture.

But @nic is an idiot. If we are all the same then YOUR comment was unnecessary, and warrants the “RACE” card.

Mich C. on

Stefani and other idiots that defending your ignorant and crude comment, I find you to be an absolute moron. I’m from Haiti and we have people of all colors and descents. Not all of us are as “Black as ace of spades” so now your facts and bit your tongue before you post stupid comments. I think you know what Haiti’s most popular for in terms of religion#

Alex on

Absolutely gorgeous little boy & girl! So happy for Jill & Heidi! โค

Alex on

So sad that race is the 1st thing people see when they look at this photo. We should just see a family.

Jenn on

@Stefani — actually, I was thinking more like “That child has gorgeous skin! And it looks so awesome compared to her mommas”….