Moms & Babies

Celebrity Baby Blog
Celebrity Baby Blog

Jillian Michaels: Adoption Is a Calling

05/24/2012 at 01:30 PM ET
Andrew Macpherson

Jillian Michaels knows what it takes to get results in the gym. But she had no idea what was in store for her when she began the arduous task of trying to adopt a child two years ago.

The former Biggest Loser trainer — who brought 2-year-old daughter Lukensia home from Haiti just days after partner Heidi Rhoades delivered son Phoenix on May 3 — says despite feeling “despondent” at times throughout the process, she had hope that things would work out.

Michaels initially applied for adoption in 2010 through the Democratic Republic of the Congo. After waiting more than a year for a referral, the trainer learned that some of her paperwork was about to expire. If Michaels wanted to continue with the process, she would have to reapply.

It was then that she learned Haiti had children up for adoption.

“Adoption is a calling,” Michaels, 38, tells PEOPLE. “There is something in you that can’t be denied. You just know in the deepest part of your being that you are meant to find this little soul and guide them through life.”

As a teenager Michaels was diagnosed with endometriosis, a medical condition where tissue that normally grows inside the uterine walls instead grows outside the uterus. It often affects fertility but, she says, “at that time in my life, I didn’t even think I would want kids as an adult.”

It wasn’t until she was in her mid-30s that she “felt the calling to adopt. The adoption process was not a simple or easy one,” she explains. “There were moments where I was starting to think it was not going to work out.”

But Michaels says the wait was all worth it.

“That moment of getting Lu out of Haiti and the wheels of the plane touching down in New York … she was an American citizen after two years,” Michaels recalls, tears welling in her eyes. “It was a heavy moment.”

For details on Michaels’s new life as a mom and to see more images from our exclusive family photo shoot, pick up the June 4 issue of PEOPLE, on newsstands Friday.

– Monica Rizzo

Your Reaction

Follow Us

On Newsstands Now

On Newsstands Now

George Turns 1: Raising a Little Prince!
  • George Turns 1: Raising a Little Prince!
  • Ryan and Eva: How They Hid Her Pregnancy
  • Jillian Michaels: Why I Left Biggest Loser

Pick up your copy on newsstands

Click here for instant access to the Digital Magazine

Advertisement

Add A Comment

PEOPLE.com reserves the right to remove comments at their discretion.

Showing 99 comments

Amanda on

I think Phoenix is the cutest baby boy I’ve seen in awhile. He reminds me of my daughter as a baby – a lot of hair, wide eyed, and cute as all get up =) Her daughter is adorable as well =) So cute! And so happy for her.

Guest who on

Those babies are beautiful. All my best wishes to this new family. May they have many years of health and happiness ahead!

Tia on

I am adopted and I love hearing stories like these. Thank you!

Cindy H on

I’m adopted as well. Love hearing success stories like this. My husband and I would love to adopt but it’s too expensive. Breaks my heart.

Cat on

So sweet. I wish you and your beautiful family the best. We miss seeing you on the Biggest Loser. Will you ever return?

Denise on

Gorgeous family!

Melanie on

congrats on your new addition to the family…they are beautiful.

Tammy on

Cindy H, that’s sad. It’s terrible that adopting a child and giving them a chance at a good life is expensive. One of the many things wrong with this world.

Dedra on

Private adoption and international adoption are expensive, but you can adopt through your local county for pretty much free, minus the cost of finger printing.

jam on

Adopting was the best thing we ever did. That little boy has changed our lives. I have to agree it is too expensive. In the US you get a tax credit for a portion of it, but you still have to have the money up front.

Lori on

To Cindy H who said she can’t afford adoption… check the foster care programs in your area… they are often free and many times you can foster to adopt!

ELVERA on

Just remember to play India Aries’song I am not my hair.O the skin i wear.Moms everywhere that have children of any color.Including caucasian ones.If you instill those things early on they will just think it’s just an extension of them and not the whole of them.

janet on

She’s messed up herself so how the hel! can she guide any other soul?

Carolyn on

There are so many children of color right here in the US. Why do people go outside the country to adopt?

tgauden on

It is expensive but CAN BE DONE~I have an adopted child and it was very expensive as well BUT, we drive a 10 year old car, skipped vacations, buy clothes at GoodWill etc. and in 5 years we saved up enough money to adopt. I live very rurally in a poor county. Wages here are mostly 10$ and hour or less………I pray you find a way to adopt your baby……Lots of luck to anyone. Not being able to parent a child is agonizing……

kim on

wow. did not know she was lesbian.

Carla on

I just think her little girl’s face is heart breaking! She looks so sad in that picture. I hope they make this transition as easy for her as they can because she comes from a completely different culture and this has to be frightening for her. Bless both their little hearts! Congratulations to Gillian… Adoption is a wonderful gift!

Betty on

@Janet@ Why do you say she messed herself up?? She has more character then you and probley buy and sell you five times, she has taken in a child who needed a home has more love for her fellow man, has a job, does it well and you have the balls to say she she is messed up. I bet she and her partner will do a better job then you ever could, cause she isn’t judging someone she doesn’t know.

DB on

Adoption is great but when the adopting parents are two women or two men, is not healthy no matter what GLAAD says. Two mixed up parents= 2 very mixed up kids.

Laila on

Two moms, two dads – don’t care, as long as they are nurturing, loving parents who can take care of the child. That’s what’s most important.

Mary Christina Smith on

I adopted a beautiful baby boy who was born in Atlanta, GA, and came to me at 2 months old. This child was the greatest gift of my life and I am extremely proud of him now. He is a gorgeous, brilliant, extremely talented musician, composer, actor and all-around great guy! Children in foreign countries are in need of adoption, but PLEASE remember that we have an extraordinary number of children who are waiting to be adopted in the US. It’s an absolutely amazing way to have a family!

I hate ignorance. on

@DB Do you know anyone who has been adopted by a same-sex couple? I do and they are perfectly fine and well-adjusted. They have two parents of the same sex, that’s the only thing that makes them different. What would you rather have, this child succumb to neglect and poverty in Haiti – a country with very little hope. Please just shut up.

Doreen on

Here we go again and again and again! Saving the world…one black baby at a time! It’s the cool thing to do ya all….be a hero and look cool while doing it!!!

Debbie Dye on

Yay!!!! Love how Jillian and her partner want to guide a beautiful little life. Imagine that…loving people loving a child…..sounds like awesome parents to me.!!!!

Trish on

So, she felt “called” to take a family’s child and call it her own? Jillian needs to listen a little more carefully. I was also adopted by strangers and it did not make up for losing my family. I don’t pretend that the people who adopted me are my real parents; Jillian should not pretend that these are her children. People magazine supports the unnatural families made by adoption and promotes them, which is why I no longer buy it.

dub on

this stupid woman all she cares about his her body – well she don’t look too good

Trish on

It’s a shame that Jillian believes she was “called” to take someone else’s child and pretend it is her own. Many adoptees don’t look upon separation from the families that God and nature gave us as a good thing. I won’t pretend that these are Jillian’s children, but I know that People magazine will.

dub on

don’t you mean she bought a baby

Don on

Good for Jillian. We also adopted internationally and are in the process of doing it again. And yes, Cindy H. it is expensive. Make adoption costs fully refundable in the 2012 & 2013 Tax Years by going here:

http://www.change.org/petitions/make-adoption-costs-fully-refundable-in-the-2012-2013-tax-years

Kelly on

What she says about adoption being a calling is so true. It is a very strong feeling. To me, it didn’t even feel like a choice. It was simply meant to be. As Sherly Crow put it, souls that are meant to be together find their way to each other and adoption makes that possible.

Jillian has been very passionate about adoption. It is great to see her dream coming true. Congrats to Jillian and to her partner. I wish them a happy life with their both kids.

juls on

I have adopted both domestically and internationally. Children that need homes with loving parents are all important, no matter where they are from. This whole world and every child is “our own”. I hate hearing “why don’t we take care of our OWN”. It’s ridiculous.

By the way, Debra, adopting domestically is not “basically free”. How about thousands of dollars through an agency and also privately? There are attorney fees and numerous other fees to pay. But SO WORTH IT! There are ways to do it….scrimp, save, and even borrow if need be.

I could not love my children more if I gave birth to them. They are the best thing that ever happened in my life. They are all so loved, and are very confident, happy, well rounded children with many amazing friends!

meghan on

Trish, your parents must be so proud…If I were them I demand a refund.

Derrick on

Truly sad that people don’t want to adopt or be foster parents to the kids, especially kids of color like me, right here in the U.S. This strikes me as wealthy white folk (or at least in this case celebrities) easing their souls with a trendy black foreign baby as a chic accessory. Even so i wish them happiness in their lives. But why are we so unwanted and unworthy?

adoptive mom on

@ Carolyn—Not only is having a child (via adoption or birth) an extremely personal decision, but how and where to adopt is equally personal. Before we adopted (internationally) we research MANY options, both domestic and foreign. We made the decision that was right for our family. The whole process is pretty daunting and we (like every other adoptive parent we know) made the choices (country, adoption agency, etc.) we were most comfortable with.

I can’t answer for everyone, but I can say that it’s about doing what’s right for your family and making the choices you’re most comfortable with. For various reasons, we were more comfortable dealing with the red-tape in two countries than we were doing either a private or foster domestic adoption. To each their own.

Your question is an impossible one to answer broadly, because it’s such a personal decision.

Chelsea on

@Trish. You certainly seem to have a negative attitude about adoption and you sound terribly ungrateful. What would have happened had that family had not adopted you – where would you be now? You say children should be left with their birth parents solely because God and nature intended it that way – really? You are basically saying no matter what circumstance a child should be left with their birth family. What if a child is abused/assaulted should that child be left with the abusive parent(s)? What about children who are abandoned – what is to be done with them? What about the single mothers who don’t have the capability or the maturity to raise a child? Adopting a child is one of the most loving things people can do – they are giving a home to someone who needs it. It is unfortunate you feel the way you do.

Anonymous on

trish i feel sorry for you. you seem to feel nothing for the people who took you in and raised you. i am also adopted and love my parents they made the choice to be my family, i was never treated differantly then my sisters. as for being taken from my real family thank god they were not worthy to be my parents, blood does not make you family love does.

Chelsea on

Thanks Anonymous. That’s a beautiful statement – “blood doesn’t make a family, love does”.

meghan on

Trish, if your parents were bad, it has nothing to do with being adopted. Some parents are just crappy parents, bio or adopted. If your parents were good and you still are pissed about being adopted, I ask, what would you suggest as an alternative? A Haitian orphanage? Warehousing in group homes? Welfare? Doesn’t sound like much of an alternative to me. Not every adopted person feels like you do.

Jane (not Meghan)

Toni on

Boy, there are some really ugly people out there. How in the world can anyone begrudge someone because they are gay or because they adopted a child who would otherwise be in an orphanage? Love is love. No color, no sexual orientation. Just love.

Sara on

@trish

Since the earthquake, the orphanages have been filled to over capacity in Haiti.

There are thousands of Haitian children with no known family.

Maranda's Mom on

My husband was adopted domestically, his sister was adopted internationally, and his brother born naturally to a loving family that raised each of them as if they were theirs by birth. Fortunately they have never experienced the resentment and anger that fills Trish. Very sad to live life with such negativity.

mary on

Trish is an idiot…. congrats on your babies!.

There are many children in the US who need a family but trust me, it is HARD. Expensive and hard… we have so much red tape and with 90% of adoptions wanting open adoption, so the birth parents have to pick you, it is a lot easier and a better chance for the cost, to go international… so don’t knock what you aren’t educated on.

Ellen on

I am adopted and so was my brother, but we were not blood. We had the greatest parents ever!

TB on

Sounds like Trish has some deep disappointment and self-esteem issues…girl get some help fast!

Sandy on

So, how long do you think it will take for her to say “Oh my gosh, I am a working Mother and I am exhausted. Poor me”. Blah blah blah. One thing I can’t stand is the stupid “working Mom” game. Gag……

Sadie on

You know, I rarely comment on articles, but I have to comment here. Shame on those of you who are putting down JM for adopting an international baby. First of all, her sexuality has nothing to do with the way she can nurture and love her child. Everyone was fine with her adopting until she actually admitted it in print that she is gay. Who cares?! She will be able to provide a great home to both her children.

I am a middle school teacher, and I’m always saddened by the parents of some of my students who gave their children life naturally, but are the most terrible role models ever. Jillian is a fabulous role model and I know will make a fantastic parent. Congratulations go out to her and her partner. This a time to rejoice in her new blessings, and I hope she doesn’t read the comments from some of those ignorant bigots out there.

sharon on

a child needs love no matter if they are adopted from here or elsewhere … all that matters is that they go to a loving home!

jc on

Julian sounds like a 2 week expert in raising children…

jc on

It sounds like Julian is an expert in adopting children…she has only just begun!

Marie on

My children were adopted through the foster care system in Florida. The only thing we paid for was a chemical test on our household water and fingerprinting to become foster parents; everything else was covered by the state.

You do have to jump through some hoops, but if you are willing to take a special needs child or a sibling group (the two hardest types of children to place), you are almost guaranteed to be able to adopt. If you want an infant, you’ll have a long wait, but if you’re willing to take older children (mine were 6 and 7 when they came to us), you probably won’t have to wait long at all.

Many places in the US are HURTING for foster families and adoptive parents for these kids, particularly the two groups I named. There are a lot of support services available as well to assist you. I still receive an adoption stipend for my kids (until they turn 18) and they qualify for Medicaid in every state, no matter what my income is. They are also entitled to a free college education in any Florida state school.

So, no, adoption does not have to be expensive; it just depends on the route you wish to take. Private adoptions and international adoptions are very expensive, but going through your local foster care system may not be (probably depends somewhat on the state).

Sandy on

Trish – I understand what you are saying. Personaly, I have been in an “adoption” situation. Not myself being adopted, but in a situation about where kids were taken away from their “biological” family for a Mom’s own selfishness.

I am not going to go into details about my own personal feelings about how I feel about adoption (there are idiots on here who totally twist what people say), but I can truthfully understand how you feel. I really do.

I wish you the best of luck and I hope you are doing ok now. =)

Jane on

@Cindy H: You should google “adoption grants.” There are a lot of organizations that help finance adoptions for couples who can’t afford it.

Lexie on

As the aunt to two internationally adopted little girls, brava to Jillian for adopting!

Lukensia will grow up in a good home, with loving parents.

And shame on you bigots who think that having 2 mothers is so bad. 2 is so much better than NONE.

Love don’t HATE.

cmonppl on

why do celebrities refuse to adopt from our country???? we have plenty of kids who need good homes.

av on

NO lesbian. GO AWAY!!!

av on

GO AWAY,lesbain

Anonymous on

First off, congratulations to JM!! What beautiful kids!

Secondly, kudos to all you parents who have adopted a child and raised him/her lovingly!! It does take a special person to willingly spend their time, energy, and resources/assets to take care of “someone else’s child” (as some haters would say it).

I’m adopted. And yes, I knew my birth family. In fact, I lived with them for a while. I love my mother. She was an angel but too ill to take care of us. And my own biological father? I consider him a sperm donor. That’s the only thing I can thank him for.

Adoption is the best thing that ever happened to me. I don’t need to explain details – but I truly feel blessed. I never pretend that my adopted parents are my biological parents, but it doesn’t matter. They ARE my parents. In my heart. They have their own biological children too that I consider my siblings.

And to Trish, don’t judge what’s right or wrong for other children or families based solely on your own experience/perspective. Where would you have been if you weren’t adopted? Who else fought to keep you, take care of you? I feel sorry for your “pretend” parents.

Some children don’t have families. Did you ever think of that?? Some of them were abandoned on the steps of a church or orphanage. Some ditched in a garbage can (yes, that’s happened!). So which “real” families are you talking about? The ones that gave them up? Or the ones who were abusive? Or were just unable to take care of their child for any number of reasons?

I have cousins who are adopted internationally. They were all in an orphanage. The oldest one was a teenager and in her country, the orphanage let’s them loose when they turn 16! She was getting close to that age, so guess what they were being taught to do to survive? that’s right – how to become a prostitute.”

Jillian on

Wow. She could have at least ACKNOWLEDGED her girlfriend. Kinda sad, Jillian Michaels.

MB on

@Trish- A mother is not just a person that gives birth; a mother is a woman that raises a child with integrity, morals and love. You do not need to be a birth mother to call someone your child. Lukensia is not hers by birthright but she is her child because she took the responsibility of taking her under her wing.

I wish them much happiness, I can tell that Jillian is already excited and very happy!

Obvious on

No Jillian, don’t worry — putting your newborn son and your newly adopted daughter in the midst of a magazine photo shoot doesn’t make you an attention whore.

DMAC0164 on

I guess there are no children in the U.S. that need adopting

kk on

700,000 orphans in China
1 million orphans in Haiti
4 million orphans in Russia
41 million orphans in Africa

100,000 in the US

Why wouldn’t we want people to adopt internationally?

Denise Smith on

For all you people criticizing Jillian for adopting a baby from Haiti. How do you know she “took” this child away from its parents? Isn’t it very possible, considering Lukensia’s age that her parents died in the big earthquake they had in Haiti? Or they didn’t want her? She is far better off here in the USA than staying in Haiti, one of the cesspools of the world.

Also I’ve read that a lot of adoptive parents prefer to do a foreign adoption because they don’t have to wonder if the birth parents are going to come looking for their child somewhere down the road.

Nancy on

To you people who are UNEDUCATED about adoption–keep quiet. I dont comment on pregnancy, because I know NOTHING about it.

For those of you who are misinformed but want to learn. Domestic adoption is very difficult. If you want a baby, the birthmother can choose from potentially dozens and sometimes hundereds of prospective families. Along with that, they can choose to be in the child’s life growing up. Not everybody is comfortable with that. I AM ADOPTED and I would have hated having a birthmother tagging along to my birthday parties and special events. My parents are the ones who raised me and I have no desire to find my biological parents.

Secondly, foster care is not for very many people. Almost all of the kids in foster care have been abused and/or neglected for sure. Not only that, the wonderful US government loves to give children back to abusive and parents of addiction. So many people who foster, can never adopt the children they foster.

Thirdly, international adoption is very difficult but it was the best decision I ever made. I have know MANY parents who have both given birth and then adopted a child. They ALL SAY THAT ADOOPTION IS WAY HARDER! I would never wish for a pregnancy because it would mean not having my wonderful child.

It is just like with gay couples, leave us heterosexual adoptive parents alone and let us be happy with the families we have built instead of questioning.

Ronda on

As a child I lived in a very abusive home and finally at the age of 13 the state of Texas took custody of me and my parents were sent to prison. I would have given anything to have 2 loving parents, gay straight black or white. As a 35 year old woman I find it so sad that we continue to tear people apart for trying to help a child. A child needs love regardless of what country they were born in.

Dawn on

I have two internationally adopted children. Much of the cost depends upon the agency- our agency was more affordable than many we looked into. As for “taking care of our own,” I’m a human- so I am taking care of my own species! Both of our daughters are from countries that do not place as a high a value on females as they do males. One of my daughters comes from a country in which girls from her background often are sold to older husbands or forced into prostitution. Most people comment on how “lucky” our daughters are to have been adopted by my husband and me; however, we feel that we are the lucky ones to have two smart, loving, caring, beautiful daughters.

Suze on

Trish – I’m the adoptive mom of two amazing kids – now young adults. They are as much my own as if I’d given birth to them and I can’t imagine life without them. I don’t know what issues you have with your adoptive parents, but I suggest you get help and work through these feelings with a professional.

Being a parent is more than just biology. Your ‘real’ parents are the ones who changed your diapers, made your lunch, sat up nights with you when you were sick, worried about you, and loved you even when you weren’t very loveable.

Suze on

Cindy H – Adoption doesn’t have to be expensive. Check out foster care adoptions. Check to see if your state has an online registry of children currently available for adoption. Register with your state adoption agency – the wait can be long, but the costs are usually minimal. Also check into religious organizations that have adoption services, sometimes they have fees on sliding scales. Lastly, tell everyone you know that you are interested in adoption – pastor, doctor, friends, etc. I know more than one friend who found their child from just such a casual connection. Don’t give up!

Sandy on

kk – am I supposed to feel sorry for all the orphans in other countries? If life is “so hard and dirty” in those countries, then WHY do those idiots have kids ?!?!?!? Just like the stupid people in this country having kids !!!!!!!

Sam on

For those idiots wondering why there is little mention of her girlfriend in this article, keep in mind that People, not Jillian, wrote this article. And maybe she is just protective of her partner who wants a private life. Just like some celebrities don’t speak about their children, partners deserve the same respect.

I completely feel that adoption is a calling. It doesn’t call me and I would definitely look into other options before considering it. The idea of losing the choice to have children is heart breaking and I can’t imagine what she went through.

To me, she doesn’t sounds like an expert in parenting, as some people have suggested. To me she sounds like most mothers in those first few months of motherhood – totally in love and still surprised to have such an amazing gift in their lives.

My father was a poor excuse for a parent and I was predominantly raised by my mother and grandmother (we all lived together). Two female role models and, surprise surprise, I am a strong, well balanced individual, with a wonderful husband, great kids and good career. Love is love, good luck JM!

jc on

Darling babies!

meghan on

Sandy, please kill yourself.

LM on

Yay, congrats to Jillian and her partner!! And to the beautiful children! I’m guessing Jillian will make a great mother since she’s wanted it so long.

Posters, please don’t be rude or judgmental to those helping children. There are children all over the world growing up in awful circumstances. Jillian and Heidi just lessened that number by one child. Good for them! This is a prime example of how much good is in the world.

Anonymous on

“There are so many children of color right here in the US. Why do people go outside the country to adopt?”

Don’t go blaming those who adopt from other countries, because the governemnt and individual states are to blame for how difficult it is to adopt here.

Let’s start with the staggering adoption fees- most times upwards for $35,000. Do you know what that gets you?? Not much, once you go through the process and see how it works. Basically you’re paying off lawyers to shuffle papers from one side of their desks to the other. You do all the heavy footwork- the gathering of signatures, fingerprinting, running things to and fro, mailing things. Then, you likely have to pay expenses for the birth mother- ie a stipend, medical costs, sometimes food, etc. Then, get this- once you get to the end of the rainbow, and “your” baby is born…she can change her mind, and the time in which she has to do so can range from 4 days, to 30 days. And if she changes her mind, guess what? You don’t get a single nickel of what you spent chasing your dream back. It’s a terrible, terrible system all around. You can adopt out of DSS or foster care, which is often times free, but if adopting an infant or very young child is what you want, then you’ll be waiting forever.

So, looking at all of that- why on earth wouldn’t someone adopt internationally, where the children are already in orphanages and legally free for adoption. It’s much more of a sure thing (and yes, I know there are exceptions)and no one to change your mind. At least you know that at the end of your long wait, you will more than likely have a child, while here in the states, you can have your heart and bank account broken repeatedly. You want to encourage people to adopt domestically? Then get on the phone and work to change things.

Tejas Angel on

Adoption is an unnatural event. If anyone really wants to help an infant who is being relinquished because their parents can’t afford to care for them, then help the family out. There are PLENTY of older children whose parental rights have been terminated for a number of very sad reason and states offer many financial incentives to adopt those children. But that isn’t as “cool” or “in” as taking infants is it? A baby grows in a womb and comes out looking for the scent of it’s mother. Do them both a favor and help support women keeping their children. Give the families job training, give THEM the money rather than giving “adoption incentives” from the government. How crazy is that? a family wants their child and can’t afford it and another family gets paid to take it???? People are entitled to their stories, their roots and their own families.

kimmie on

@DB, if you think that having two mothers will automatically mess children up, you must watch this video:

kimmie on

Sandy, really? As if they have choice to not have children !!!

MB on

@Tejas Angel- So you mean financially supporting bad parents just because you want to help a child is a better option? Now THAT is unnatural! Some people choose not to have biological children and some of them can’t have biological children. Adopting a child is not an unnatural process at all. It is probably a very difficult process and the people that go through with it have a very big heart and probably a lot of patience to go through the process!

Chelsea on

@Kimmie – Wow, what a powerful video. Thanks for sharing it.

Chelsea on

@TejasAngel – I do not believe adoption is unnatural – people have been doing it from the beginning of time. There are many reasons why children become available for adoption. What could possibly be more natural than a family accepting children into their home, raising them with love and providing them with opportunities they may not have had if they had been left in their original situation. We should celebrate people who are willing to open their hearts and lives to children who need love and care, not tell them it is unnatural. As an earlier poster said, “Blood does not a family make, love does.”

Bree on

I am the very very proud daughter of two AMAZING woman. No my “other mom” was not there from birth, my stoned, abusive, neglectful father was until my mom threw him out and then it was just the two of us for 12 years, which was great, my mom was and is my best friend but we both needed more, I needed another full-time parent and she needed a partner. When Jude came into our lives it was an answer to our prayers.

Why would I be better off with my two “traditional” parents, one of whom wants nothing to do with me, stole the grocery money to get stoned and tried to have my mom arrested for protecting me, when I can have two non-traditional parents who are devoted to me, love me, protect me, want nothing but the best for me and are there for me no matter what. Seems like a pretty easy choice to me!!

I am now the proud mother to an amazing little girl and I know that I am going to be the best possible mom because I have two of the best role models anyone could ever have. And yes my daughter was conceived in the “tradtional” way, I have been happily married to my amazing husband for two years, having two moms did not make me gay. However I am comfortable enough with who I am and smart enough to know that my love for my husband has nothing to do with his gender and I would love him just as much if he was a woman. So basically, like Jillian, my affection and attraction for people knows no gender.

Congrats to Jillian and Heidi!! Those are two absolutly BEAUTIFUL babies!! They are very blessed to have you both just as you are blessed to have them.

julia on

good for her. Good for the child that she has adopted and given a better life to. Im sure her and her partner will give this child more than enough love and happiness in life. it annoys me to no end when people think that having 2 moms or 2 dads is going to mess a child up. Because heterosexual marriages always last and children of these marriages never end up with issues. I wish people werent so closed minded

Anonymous on

Tejas Angel- I get what you’re saying, but what about children who are placed for adoption because their birth parents died? Or because they were abandoned by their birth parents? Or how about children from abusive homes? Should they be left to bounce from foster home to foster home, grow up in an orphanage, or suffer at the hands of their abusive parents?

Sam- Very good point! Vern Yip doesn’t discuss his partner, either, for the same reason (his partner wants to stay out of the public eye), and Ricky Martin mentions his only sporadically (and tends to say things like “I” and “my boys” when referring to his twin sons). Because he is rarely if ever pictured out and about with his partner, I’m guessing that he (the partner) also prefers to stay out of the public eye.

Jillian’s partner might very well be the same way (although according to a few people who have seen the whole photoshoot in article in PEOPLE magazine, she is featured prominently there). Or maybe Jillian herself prefers to keep her relationship as private as possible.

kimmie- You have a good point, too. Birth control is hard to come by in most third world countries (this is one of the reasons there’s such an epidemic of AIDs in Africa)! Plus, let’s just say that in some third world countries, women don’t have much, if any, say over when and if to do the deed (if you catch my drift).

At any rate, what lovely comments from Jillian. Hopefully this will shut the negative nellies up about her getting special treatment. It’s pretty obvious that she had to go through the same process as anybody else!

Anonymous on

I also want to say that between the comments about Jillian’s adoption and the comments about Charlize’s adoption, I’ve been doing a lot of giggling lately. Jillian gets blasted for adopting a child of color from outside the U.S., with people saying things like “Why couldn’t she have adopted a child of color from here in the states?” Yet Charlize, who DID adopt a child of color from here in the states (it was mentioned in Vogue or some other magazine that Charlize did an interview with that Jackson was adopted domestically), has been getting blasted for doing that.

Realy, celebs are in a lose/lose situation!

Marky on

I am always so astounded that some people act as if children are ripped from the arms of their loving, deeply attached parents so the state can give them to someone else! Really?? Seriously?? I worked in foster care and adoption for quite a while in a state where the primary goal is reuniting the family, and I saw bio mothers who assaulted their children with broomsticks, before termination took place. I saw situations where bio mothers chose their boyfriends over the daughter he had just raped. My son was actually abandoned by his family at 2 months, and after his bio mother was found she said she could not take care of him. We worked with the family for more than 3 years and she finally asked us if we would adopt him, at 4 years. She turned down an open adoption. He is an adult with children of his own, and he doesn’t want to reunite.

I know someone whose bio mother abandoned him at 10, his father a few years later, and fortunately his friend’s family took him in and he graduated from high school, sent himself to college, and now has an amazing job, is married with children. He was adopted at 23! There is no big tie to people who were not there for him.

I have also been involved in adoptions where birth moms chose the adoptive family, stayed in contact by mail, and everyone was fine, and feel very secure. It is just BS to hound away that rich celebs “buy” children and have an easier time than others, just as it’s BS that these babies are being snatched away from their Mother of the Year” bio parents just so someone can adopt them. There are children who need homes and adults who desperately want to parent a child! Hooray when they get together and build a family for all of them. The crazy idea that only kids in this country are valuable, and that we have kids just drippin out of orphanages and starving to death is nuts. Kids who are in care, or are homeless (not the same as orphaned!) get 2 free meals a day!!Compare that to the million orphaned in Haiti, who struggle to have rice every day.

My aunt and uncle abandoned 6 children because of alcoholism, and the kids wanted homes so much. Because the rules were different then, they grew up without adoption other than the littlest ones, who have no desire to be part of our family again, and good for them–they love their new parents who were light years better than the ones that were their “natural” parents, Trish, and sadly, I’m talking about my own relatives! The rest of our family is really nice, but those two were something bad!

Seriously, you don’t even make sense, but sad to say, you would probably find something else to be freaked out about if you didn’t have this. Thank goodness for adoption rules changing for the better, so more children have homes, and I’m saying it straight up: you people who get on these threads and complain about the very existence of adoption need some professional help. It’s unbelievable that you think all these people who lose their children (or throw them away, so to speak) are amazing wonderful parents who got cheated out of their wonderful family! Please get a degree in social work and get a long-term job with a state that doesn’t permit voluntary placement. See how long you keep that emotion. Living in the twilight zone, dear, living in the twilight zone……

Marky on

I am always so astounded that some people act as if children are ripped from the arms of their loving, deeply attached parents so the state can give them to someone else! Really?? Seriously?? I worked in foster care and adoption for quite a while in a state where the primary goal is reuniting the family, and I saw bio mothers who assaulted their children with broomsticks, before termination took place. I saw situations where bio mothers chose their boyfriends over the daughter he had just raped. My son was actually abandoned by his family at 2 months, and after his bio mother was found she said she could not take care of him. We worked with the family for more than 3 years and she finally asked us if we would adopt him, at 4 years. She turned down our offer of an open adoption. He is an adult with children of his own, and he doesn’t want to reunite. He wishes she had had her rights terminated earlier, so he wouldn’t have been pulled back and forth in an impossible situation.

I know someone whose bio mother abandoned him at 10, his father a few years later, and fortunately his friend’s family took him in and he graduated from high school, sent himself to college, and now has an amazing job, and is married with children. He was adopted at 23! There is no tie to people who were not there for him, and no bitterness, either.

I have also been involved in adoptions where birth moms chose the adoptive family, stayed in contact by mail, and everyone was fine, and feel very secure. It is just BS to hound away that rich celebs “buy” children and have an easier time than others, just as it’s BS that these babies are being snatched away from their Mother of the Year” bio parents just so someone can adopt them. There are children who need homes and adults who desperately want to parent a child! Hooray when they get together and build a family for all of them. The crazy idea that only kids in this country are valuable, and that we have kids just dripping out of orphanages and starving to death is nuts. Kids who are homeless (not the same as orphaned!) get at least 2 free meals a day in our state!! Compare that to the million orphaned in Haiti, who live in tin shacks, while prostituting themselves for maybe a bowl of rice, and toddlers who starve in spite of how hard many of us who work there try to make certain they have enough food to prevent starvation and allow them to go to school. Do you realize teachers make $100/mo in many of the schools there? If you have not worked there, you have no idea what it’s really like in Haiti, and countries like that.

My aunt and uncle abandoned 6 children because of alcoholism, and the kids wanted homes so much. Because the rules were different then, they grew up without adoption other than the littlest ones, who have no desire to be part of our family again, and good for them–they love their adoptive parents who were light years better than the ones that were their “natural” parents, Trish, and sadly, I’m talking about my own relatives! The rest of our family is really nice, but those two were horrid and we were grateful there was someone who could raise their children.

Seriously, you don’t even make sense, but sad to say, you would probably find something else to be freaked out about if you didn’t have this. Thank goodness for adoption rules changing for the better, so more children have homes, and I’m saying it straight up: you people who get on these threads and complain about the very existence of adoption need some professional help. It’s unbelievable that you think all these people who lose their children (or throw them away, so to speak) are amazing wonderful parents who got cheated out of their wonderful family! Please get a degree in social work and get a long-term job with a state that doesn’t permit voluntary placement. See how long you keep that emotion. Living in the twilight zone, dear, living in the twilight zone……

jmiller521 on

I have struggled with endometriosis since I was 22 and ended up needing a total hysterectomy at 26 and still struggle with the disease so I know how unrelenting of a disease it can be! We also went through the adoption process and I would agree 100% that it is a calling and is not for the faint of heart. It was definitely an emotional roller coaster! We had two failed placements before bringing our daughter home! Our family day is June 22 which marks 3 years as a family of 3! Congrats to Jillian and her family!

christa on

So much easier to adopt, when you have the money for it.

Sandy on

Meghan – Trust me, I’ve tried going back to when I was 15. But if I did it now, my husband wouldn’t get my life insurance.

Kimmie – Yes, they have a choice NOT to have kids. Duh !!!!!

emmalee on

Sandy….honey, like I’ve said before…JESUS. Or anti-depressants. Really.

JMO on

Wow the ignorance of human beings astounds me. Well no actually it doesn’t!!

First and foremost it should not matter where this child came from. She adopted a child that needed a loving home and now she is getting one.

I am sure most people that are from the US would love to adopt from the US. But there is a long line of waiting for an american child especially an infant. Some people are willing to wait that long and others would rather try another way of getting a child a little quicker. When women who are blessed to be able to have babies say, “I am ready for a baby” they start trying. If they are lucky they get pregnant right away! So why should a mother, who can’t have a child biolgocially, not be allowed to say, “I would like my child in a two years instead of three?!”

Alot of times in the US birth mothers are given anywhere from 6 weeks to as much as a year to change their mind (I believe each state varies). Who wants to live with the burden of knowing that possibly one day your baby that you have been loving and raising could be snatched away?

Children from international adoptions tend to get quicker adoptions because they’re is not an abundant need for them to be adopted by their own people. So the process can be quicker.

Any child adopted I’m sure at one point wonders how come they were given up. But I bet most children are happy to have had a second chance at a better life. I feel sorry for you Trish that you didn’t recieve the same kind of love. I’m not sure of your situation but I have learned in life that every door leads to a new path. So maybe you had crappy biological parents who gave you up. Or maybe they didn’t and you were taken away from them for whatever reason but you are an adult now and you have choices in life. You can sit around and dwell on things that happened or didn’t happen or you can move forward with a better attitude. Trust me. I have been through some horrible things in my past and it has taken me years to realize that I don’t have to live there anymore.

And as for the ignorant comments about people saying she shouldn’t adopt or having children because she is gay – seriously just get over yourselves and find a hobby! I’m over this gay parents shouldn’t raise kids thing. It’s 2012 not 1912!

TF on

Well JM”s little girl had NO MOM or family,but now has TWO moms that took all the steps to make a life for this little gift…..sounds Great to me..Wish their family all the blessings in the world!!

P on

People like to adopt internationally if they can afford it because there is a less of a chance that the baby will have fetal alcohol syndrome or have some kind of effects from drug abuse. Most women who choose adoption for their babies have some sort of substance dependence and a lot of people do not want children with developmental issues.

There are some women/young girls who are super healthy and choose adoption, yet it is less and less every day as more young women are choosing to raise their babies on their own…..or they try and the babies get taken away after a few years when there has been psychological damage done to the child. Very SAD but very true…..

Don on

Adoption is an act of love and very expensive. Please support adoption, domestic or International….

http://www.change.org/petitions/make-adoption-costs-fully-refundable-in-the-2012-2013-tax-years

Melissa on

I was always a bit indifferent about Jillian as a celebrity, but after reading these stories about her new family and hearing how she talks about her new babies, I am a fan! Such a beautiful light in the world, I can’t wait to the kids blossom. :)

Kelly on

@Marky
Very well said.

MichaelaQ on

Marky, your post could not have said it better. I am an adoptive mom, and so proud to be one! I get so upset when I read comments like Trish made. I know what my child’s birth family was like. It was not pretty. We had friends who were trying to adopt from foster care. One little boy came to them at only 2 months old. He was taken from his bio mother because she had severely beaten him. He was still bruised when I saw him for the first time. It was so horrible seeing such a little baby covered in bruises. Two weeks after he was placed in our friends home, the state deemed his bio mom fit to parent him again and gave him back to her. I still cringe thinking about it. It was so wrong, and I can’t imagine howmuch that child has probably suffered at the hands of his “natural” mom.

Brooke on

Wow she is so beautiful. And i love how she talks to her baby girl in the video. Im so happy for her and wish her and her beautiful family the best.

mon on

Adopting through foster care may be cheaper but it is no picnic. Most of the kids here in the US have been sexually abused and/or have RAD. These kids definitely need a home but it takes a special person to care for a child that will never attach to you, will lie and manipulate and likely harm your other children. Most Haitin kids are just starving. Kudos to anyone for adopting anywhere. Orphans needs homes and while i am traditional in my beliefs I am very happy that this precious child has a loving home, a warm bed, food to eat, and hope for a better life.

Advertisement

Squeals & Deals

Sign-up for the Mom's &s Babies Free Weekly Newsletter

Free Weekly Newsletter

Mom Said It

"We weren't trying to have kids. We left it up to fate. I knew there was a possibility, but I was really excited. Even if you are trying, just to see a positive result is shocking!"

 

From Our Partners

Sign up for our daily newsletter and other special offers.
    Choose your newsletters
Thank you for signing up! Your request may take up to one week to be processed.
    see all newsletters