Jessica Simpson: I’m Carrying a Bowling Ball

When it comes to her pregnancy, Jessica Simpson is never at a loss for words.

“I feel like I have a bowling ball sitting on my hoo-ha,” she told Jimmy Kimmel upon her arrival to his stage Monday. “It’s pretty intense at the moment. I have a lot of amniotic fluid so whenever my water breaks, it’ll be like a fire hydrant.”

With her baby girl due in April, the Fashion Star mentor, 31, admits that “I could have the baby soon,” but says she’d “like to keep her in there for a little bit longer.” Nonetheless, she’s prepared for delivery.

“I’m ready to push. A lot of people are like, ‘I want to do it how my mother did it’ and I’m like, ‘Not really,’” Simpson explains. “I’d rather experience less pain.”

ABC/Xposure

In the meantime, she’s enjoying her final nights pre-baby, although Simpson says some evenings are anything but restful.

“You have weird dreams as a pregnant lady,” she notes. “The other night I had a dream that she put her foot through my belly button and I was playing ‘This Little Piggy’ with her toes. And it was completely normal. She must have been kicking me and [I picked up on that] subconsciously.”

– Sarah Michaud

Comments

cannat on March 20th, 2012

I just… I can’t. This is the longest pregnancy on Earth, and Jessica talking about the bowling ball on her “hoo-ha” is just making it seem even longer.

Heather on March 20th, 2012

I had a dream just like that where my baby girl’s feet kept poking out of my belly!

showbizmom on March 20th, 2012

I’ve never been a big fan of hers but she’s killing me with her interviews. She’s very funny, and real. Every interview reminds me how I was with my first pregnancy. It’s all coming back to me.

I’m due with my 3rd any day now, and apart of me is like ‘come on grow up and suck it up it’s just pregnancy!’ but then I remember my first and how I felt and how I acted. She’s not unlike a lot (not all) new expectant mothers.

I wish her a quick and easy birth.

Lis on March 20th, 2012

She sure does love attention and usually I’m totally turned off by her antics, but this interview was pretty funny!!! (Besides the mention of her hoo-ha…tmi!)

I always said I felt like I was carrying a bowling ball in my belly…not a basketball, because there was no give…it was a huge, tight bowling ball…very uncomfortable!

And I also find it refreshing to hear her say she’d like to “experience less pain”!! At least she’s not so self-righteous to endure unnecessary pain!!

Marky on March 20th, 2012

I think Jessica is naturally witty, and frankly, “a bowling ball in my hoo-ha” is not an exaggeration once a big baby “drops”! Some of you sound like such hateful prudes! I am older, a conservative Christian, and I don’t find that comment offensive at all.

As far as her being pregnant forever, she announced her pregnancy 4 1/2 months ago at Halloween, so that was definitely not as early as some who announce theirs as quickly as they see the line on the pregnancy test! All actors and celebs love attention, with very rare exception–that’s why they are in the business! Stop acting as if Jessica is the only one talking about being pregnant! Good grief!

Can I just say Jen Garner who seemed to be pregnant and on the People site every day? Nick and Vanessa are “talking about their baby” every 20 minutes. People who are excited about their babies talk about them, enjoy the process, and just want to share it with fans and friends.

I loved being pregnant every time, and even though my first labor was 40 hours (! Yes it was, I was checked by the doctor), I didn’t go to the hospital until 2 hours before delivery each time because I wanted to labor without meds and without being confined to bed. We had our pics made for the grandparents, we went shopping, ate ribs (I can’t believe that one myself, but it’s true) and finally went to the hospital where I was ready for a little something by then, but not much.

Every time, baby did great, I did great, and I wish as wonderful an experience for Jessica, maybe only 4-5 hours, and easy delivery!

Sasha on March 20th, 2012

Fire hydrant LOL!!!! Wishing her all the best. I have been checking daily for a while to see the birth announcement. Pretty sad, I know

Meela on March 20th, 2012

Loving Jessica!

Never knew she was this funny!!!

I love that she is so “real” about the whole thing, she has not held anything back!

Zooy on March 20th, 2012

LOL at the fire hydrant comment.I wouldn’t call it necessarily like a fire hydrant but it’s a good description. I had a lot of extra amniotic fluid as well so when my water broke it went forever. The drs at the hospital I went to said it was probably the most they’ve seen.

I wish her all the luck!

Shannon on March 20th, 2012

She certainly has a colorful way of explaining things.

Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Garner “seem” to have super long pregnancies. Hillary Duff is right behind them.

Mitchelle on March 20th, 2012

Well she described that to the T, I gave birth to a 10lb healthy baby boy, and it felt like that.

I was in shape before the pregnancy much like Jessica, all I could do towards the end was sit around and play Nintendo, I got pretty good at Mario golf, lol. I did feel bad for my husband who had to take over a lot of my chores, well sort of felt bad

After gaining 50 plus pounds (stopped counting) I took up running, ran slow at first (able to run 3 times a week) got back into shape. Now 6 yrs later I am proud to say I am training for a half marathon in May.

I had the baby naturally, Vag birth and without an epidural, it can be done. All the best to Jessica, you are a beautiful pregnant women that is lending her body to bring a little life into the world

Daniella on March 20th, 2012

Normally I’m not a huge fan of publicly (aka on national television) talking about the most unpleasant parts of pregnancy, but considering my own mother (who’s super tall at 5’11” compared to tiny Jessica) has used such words to describe her pregnancies, all of which exceeded 60+ lbs. and resulted in 10+ lbs. babies every time. So, with that said, I really can’t fault her for using such analogies.

Hopefully she’ll be able to deliver as easily & drop the weight like my mother did, because a really big pregnancy has got to be a tough thing to deal with for any woman.

SAR on March 20th, 2012

I’m not a fan of hers but whenever she talks about her pregnancy it cracks me up. She just says what’s on her mind, and I bet a lot of pregnant women feel the same way, but they think it’s uncouth or politically incorrect to say that they want painkillers during the delivery, or that the last month feels like they’ve got a bowling ball sitting on their, um, hooha.

I’ve never been pregnant, but from what I understand, the last trimester and particularly the last month are uncomfortable, and it’s no wonder, since there’s a full-term baby preparing to come out.

Anonymous on March 20th, 2012

Marky- How have Nick and Vanessa been talking about their baby “every 20 minutes”. I haven’t seen a single article about them doing so since the one about Nick talking about coaching Vanessa through labor. So I don’t think they’re the best example to use when talking about celebs that constantly talk about their pregnancy.

Shannon- Interesting you should mention Hillary Duff. Wasn’t she due last month? And yet still no birth announcement. Then again, I suppose she could have had the baby and not announced. If that’s the case, I sure hope nothing’s wrong with baby boy (as open as she was about announcing and then discussing her pregnancy, I can’t think of any reason other than problems with the baby that she wouldn’t announce the birth right away)!

All of that being said, it sounds like Jessica has polyhydramnio (excess aminotic fluid). Poor girl! No wonder she’s gained so much weight (not saying that she hasn’t been open about eating a lot and that that hasn’t had anything to do with it, just that it appears there’s a medical reason behind the weight gain as well)! I hope she has an easy delivery!

Jillian on March 21st, 2012

Anonymous,
Hilary duff was still pregnant 3 days ago, so don’t worry nothing wrong with her baby boy. polyhydramnios occurs in 1% of pregnancies. If in fact she does have it, which I don’t believe she does, I don’t believe her weight gain is caused by it. If she does have it, shame on her for traveling all over and putting her baby at risk. Again, I highly doubt she has it. I think she likes to talk.

Mary

Ally G on March 21st, 2012

Kudos to Jessica…..she has always been dubbed the “dumb” blonde after the tuna thing on her reality show, but she has prevailed with this pregnancy…..lord knows she is going to have a BIG baby. She has had the best attitude through it all….I had small babies 7.8.5 and 6.4.5 both c sections…..I cannot imagine giving birth to a 8-10 pounder….My niece just gave birth to an 8.8 lbs girl via c section after pushing for over 4 hours….1st baby at 20…..god love her…..my daughter is pregnant with girl #2, has just been diagnosed with mild gestational diabetes…..can you say (possible) big baby….#1 was 7.10, she doesn’t know what she is heading for….1st pregnancy was a breeze and this one has been a new experience. Hope to see the live birth of this one…..fingers are crossed. Bottom line Jessica has matured into an awesome woman and I hope the baby’s daddy Eric is true…..she deserves it.

Claudia on March 21st, 2012

She sure looks like a bowling ball

Liz on March 21st, 2012

Can she please shut up now? We’ve had to hear every single, solitary detail of her decades long pregnancy. Enough!! And enough with the stupid TMI. She has no class and has to be the most annoying person ever. I used to like her but not so much anymore.

Mommytoane on March 21st, 2012

I love this interview! Lately her interviews have been so real and so funny.

LOL I have to admit, it does seem like its been a while since she announced her pregnancy…but with an event filled end of the year, the time seems to drag so much more, but go by quickly at the same time.

Oh and Marky…go back to bed dear. You really need to wake up on the other side.

Vanessa on March 21st, 2012

She’s such an idiot!

Marky on March 21st, 2012

Mommytoane, maybe you misunderstood the “tone” of my post; I was NOT trying to be rude or hateful with anything I said. What my point was, was that all of these people like to talk about their pregnancies, we look on the sites to find out about them, and, many of us have been through similar experiences, so we can “feel their pain” and their joy, fear and everything else. I am not one of the people who is always all over the Nick and Jessica stuff either. Both have moved on, and I wish no one ill, in any situation. I was just saying it is not over-the-top for her to have made some of the comments she’s made, or to hope it doesn’t hurt too much, but hey! she’s excited about it and up for the challenge. That’s what she said and I say more power to her and all the rest. Women should support women.

Anonymous, let me say, I am not freaking on Nick and Vanessa. Like anyone else who’s excited about their pregnancy, they talk about it, there are articles about it, (at least 5 in the last week), and that’s FINE. Why would we come to the “Babies site”, unless we want to read about these people? Otherwise, let’s read the London Times, the Dallas Morning News, or the New York Times–maybe Newsweek! Oh, wait, those have articles about pregnant celebs, too, LOL. Everyone relax, it’s not me who’s undone here…..

plannbb on March 21st, 2012

This has got to be the longest pregnancy on the face of the earth.

Anonymous on March 21st, 2012

Marky- I didn’t realize there had been that many articles on Nick and Vanessa. I guess Moms & Babies didn’t post them all. That being said, I understand where you’re coming from and I’m sorry if it felt like I was jumping all over you!

Anonymous on March 21st, 2012

I think she’s a hoot!! She laughs at herself which I think to be a positive thing for anyone.. realistically, if you can’t laugh at yourself who are you going to laugh at anyway.. best wishes to her!