Elisabeth Röhm’s Blog: Love Hurts So Good
Elisabeth Röhm, best known for her role as Serena Southerlyn on Law & Order, is ending a very busy year.
In her latest blog, Röhm — mom to 3½-year-old Easton August with fiancé Ron Anthony — finds her daughter dealing with all the emotions of having a new best friend, and starts thinking about her own childhood.
Are you still pals with your childhood BFFs? Tell Elisabeth about your experience in the comments.
Love hurts. You remember that song, PEOPLE.com?
Oh, the pain and drama of falling in love. The tears, the wakeful nights, the ache to be together every minute of the day and the utter ecstasy of seeing each other when you’ve been apart. The vast ocean of emotion that you can drown in at the mere thought of your beloved.
I’m sure each of you can conjure up memories of that person that drove you wild with enjoyment, anticipation and the deepest of woes. I certainly do!
But another kind of love affair dawned on me recently as I dialed back the hands of time, and that’s the blooming passion of new friendship that is equally as exciting as a new romance. How awesome it is to make a new BFF, whether young or old. With that comes the tender feelings of newness, the unknown and longing.
The drama of those highs and lows of a new relationship can dictate a household. My friend and I were just talking about all the door slamming going on in her house these days due to some current new BFF drama! Luckily I’m still close with some of my childhood buds.
Not a day goes by that I don’t wonder and hope that Easton can sustain her pals from these days of splendor in the grass. And to see these connections take place is at once tender, comical and bittersweet.
It’s as if they’ve fallen in love for the first time every time they meet a new bestie; they’ve been bitten by that love bug. And boy, when it burns hot, all I can say is ‘Whoa!’ We all better get some extra homeowners insurance! Reminds me of the guy that threw the bottle of wine against the wall, way back when.
So, yes you guessed it! Easton is madly in love these days and I’ve not seen anything quite like it. And yes, I know she’s 3½! First comes friendship and I think it’s just as profound in its euphoria and drama as any other love.
So Easton has met her newest best friend (I’d say it’s her second one so far) that is the center of her universe, inspires her every thought and motivates her desires. When she wakes up, she asks me when she can see her friend again and just as she gently closes her eyes to float off into dreamland, she mutters her name in a breathless whisper. I can relate. I’m sure we all can!
Oh it hurts so good, right?
They are swooning and punch drunk. A playdate just concluded at our home only moments ago between the girls. It climaxed with having to chase them around the house as they wailed in unison, “We want a sleepover, a sleepover, a sleepover! Aaaarghhh!”
“I don’t like your Mommy. I’m going to miss her! Don’t take her,” Easton whines. “I don’t like your Mommy. Don’t take me home, Moooooommeeeeee! Wah,” the other little girl moans.
And as I’m watching this, it looks all too familiar; tugging on those old heartstrings of mine, reminding me of all that drama that I shared with ghosts of my own childhood (which only ended quite recently, I might add).
Flashing before my eyes is the pain of all the past loves, romantic and otherwise. For hours after they part, they mope around with sad eyes, looking forlorn, humming songs that they’ve inserted each other’s names into.
Not to mention on our way to school in the a.m., Easton is chattering away about her fantabulous (thanks Fancy Nancy) new friend! It’s really cute.
So now we see this child almost every day at school and afterwards. It’s fun, actually, and makes me cherish my BFF all that much more for how hard won it was to find her having gone through several of them throughout the years myself.
Finally the girls are separated at the end of the playdate, and we’ve managed to get our own girls in our arms. As Easton and I walk our guests to the door to say our good-byes, they desperately try to grasp onto each other’s hands one last time.
“Hold my hand, Easton,” her friend cries out hurriedly. “Okay, I’ll hold your hand. I need you,” Easton replies as she tries to reach for her little friend’s hand wildly.
Us moms (who are now fast friends) can only look at each other with a small smirk, because as funny as it is to us, it is highly personal and emotional for them and we’d crush them if we laughed. Not to mention we have to draw a line in the sand about listening and boundaries, so we find ourselves swallowing our giggles.
Plus, we know something that they don’t from years of experience — and that’s that they will surely burn out on each other if they spend too much time together. So we’re trying to pace their passion for each other just to keep the flame going.
And then there was our version of World War III the other night, as they endured the breakdown of their first overnight that never came to be. They were so eager to stay together, but not quite ready to be away from their mommies — we all know how that goes.
And let me tell you, they were bummed, humiliated and heartbroken that they couldn’t spend the night together. Once Easton’s friend called for her mom, the tears came at an inconsolable rate. Easton’s flowed for being left and the other little girl for being confused at needing Easton and her mom equally, but not being able to choose between them.
That night after separating, they cried themselves to sleep at their different homes in bed with their moms. I think you get the point! And let me tell you every night since her friend’s meltdown for Mommy, they’ve asked for a redo, which we will gladly oblige over the weekend. It was all a hot mess of emotion. Oh, the drama of love!
Tell me some of your most passionate flames! Are you still friends with your childhood BFF? Which ones have crashed and burned? Do tell of those that have endured the test of time with all the highs and lows of love.
Until next week…
— Elisabeth Röhm