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Selma Blair: I’m Seriously Sleep Deprived

11/14/2011 at 08:00 AM ET
Dave Allocca/Startraks

New mom Selma Blair is in the midst of baby bliss, memorable milestones — and a serious lack of shuteye.

“It’s exhausting. If I could sleep more, I would be the happiest woman in the whole world,” the Dark Horse star, 39, told PEOPLE at the Versace for H&M fashion show on Tuesday in New York City.

“I’m not sleeping and it’s showing. But I’m so blessed … I am totally going to stop complaining.”

Instead, laughs Blair, she has already devised an easy solution for her sleepless schedule. “I will just start to buy more makeup,” she jokes.

Despite the late nights, being a mom to the “happiest baby” — 4-month-old son Arthur Saint — is simply “amazing,” adds the actress.

“He smiled the first week. He rolled over and he’s starting to crawl,” she shares. “I’m so in love with him … He makes me happy every day.”

Blair and boyfriend Jason Bleick have set up a “tiny” nursery for baby boy, which includes Jonathan Adler pieces.

However, family time is rare these days, as the fashion designer has been focusing on his heavy workload.

“He’s out trying to work a lot. So when I get him, I’m so happy,” says Blair. “He came with me to New York, so that makes this trip so amazing to get baby, Daddy … and Donatella Versace.”

– Anya Leon with reporting by Jeffrey Slonim

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Showing 71 comments

Shawna on

Crawling at 3 months? Not possible.

Leslie on

@Shawna – I think when she says “Starting to crawl” she means that flailing that looks like they are trying to move. Not really crawling. Unless he’s super baby at 3 mo.

Melissa on

Ya highly doubt he is crawling at 3 months old.

Kat on

He might be ‘swimming’ on his stomach, but his muscles are not developed enough yet to crawl. He couldn’t support his body weight that much.

She isn’t sleeping, so maybe that is the source. Sadly, she won’t really be sleeping for awhile. My daughter is almost a year, and I never sleep. It went from her keeping me up, to her having me so busy her sleep time is the only time I have to accomplish anything!

Ksp on

The no sleep thing sucks! Hang in there, Selma, it gets better!

kjc on

My son was sleeping through the night at 2.5 months. …only problem is, we kept him swaddled. Now at 6.5 months we’ve been trying to break him of the swaddle habit, and I have been sleepless for a month now! We should never have swaddled him do long in the first place, but he loves it! What to do?

Romy on

I wondered why she looks so out of it in every picture lately.

Lillian on

I remember those days…..coffee was my best friend lol. Arthur is 3 mos. so hopefully she’ll start getting some sleep in soon.

Rebecca on

It is OK to complain about not getting sleep. It is mentally and physically exhausting when you have a baby that does not sleep! I remember being close to a break down many times over not sleeping night after night. The good news is that is eventually will get better.

mother on

The GI Joe crawl! Yes, and He is 4 mos today. Not three, so, yes, it is possible . Starting.

Hea on

So that’s why she’s trying to look like a teenager. To match her sleep cycle. Good one!

ClaireSamsmom on

I remember those sleep deprived days. Maybe she is so fatigued that she ‘thought’ she saw him crawl, but it was just an illusion. :)

Chase on

People kept telling me that eventually as my babies got older they would sleep through the night, well they are 2 and 3, and they have yet to sleep through the night. the only thing that has changed is that now they are old enough to get out of their own beds and crawl into ours….

ecl on

I feel bad for women. Now they can’t even complain about being sleep deprived with a newborn. Someone with fertility problems might come on here and tell her she’s an ingrate.

Holiday on

My kids have always been awful sleepers. My son was 3 when he started sleeping through and my daughter is 18 months and has never once slept through… she is up at least 5 times a night but more like 8! It could be awhile Selma!

Ethel on

@Melissa – She said “he’s starting to crawl”. And he’s 4 months not 3.

I think she looks fabulous. I wish I looked that good on a restful day.

Tee on

It’s really refreshing to hear someone say that they are blessed even in the middle of sleep deprivation.

Lissette on

I babysat for a baby who by 3-4 months old was not crawling but she was definitely pulling herself to a standing position on the couch. And rolling like crazy. But I was amazed by the standing thing. I kept telling her she wasn’t old enough to do that yet. Lol.

Michelle on

My daughter started doing the army crawl at 4 months so it is possible that her son is trying to crawl around. Just because your child didn’t do it that early doesn’t mean hers isn’t.

Leah on

Sleep deprivation is one of the hardest things about being a mom. Hang on Selma. It is gonna get better.

evie on

My 1st baby was starting to do the army crawl and get up on his knees at 4mths and properly crawling by 5mths. Some babies start a lot earlier just like early walkers and talkers.

Anonymous on

I’m a bit confused by Selma’s comments. She says she’s sleep-deprived…but in another interview a couple weeks ago, she said she had hired someone to help her at night. So shouldn’t she be getting more sleep now thanks to her baby nurse/nanny?

MiB on

@ Anonymous, well if she is nursing and not giving a bottle, she still has to wake up to nurse him even if she has someone who can tend to his other needs. Maybe it didn’t work out with the night nanny? Maybe he is crying a lot during the night, so that her sleep quality isn’t what it should be (you can hear them anyways). That would still leave her sleep deprived even though she has help.

I actually once worked as a night nanny for a colicky infant who had his crying spell from midnight to four in the morning. It was either that or they would have needed a nanny for his big sister because the parents where so sleep deprived that they were quite frankly dangerous (they actually hired me after the mother caused a fire falling asleep in the kitchen while cooking).

Anyways, the mother could still hear him cry, and she said that even though she knew that he was taken care of and that she had to sleep both for his, and his sisters, and her own sake, she couldn’t really relax while she heard him cry. In the end we hit the road for a couple of hours a night (it was already pretty warm and we were in a very safe neighbourhood), it calmed him down a bit and the mother got better quality sleep at least for a couple of hours a night.

Ethel on

@Anonymous

I agree with MiB and would like to add the fact that she just recently hired nanny help. She’s four months into motherhood and that’s four months of lack of sleep and exhaustion buildup. Even if she could sleep an entire night (which I doubt happens even with night help) it’s going to take her a long awhile to replenish and feel rested. I think most moms have that protective instinct and are always on guard. It’s hard for them to relax and sleep even when they have someone else tending to the baby.

Unless she lives in a mega mansion with the nursery in a separate wing, she’s going to hear that baby cry during the night. And there is something wired in us to listen for the cry while we are sleeping so deep sleep is nearly impossible in the beginning. I wish her all the best. Her son is absolutely gorgeous!

Holiday on

Is she back at work or is she just pawning her baby off with a nanny? Sorry but that is ridiculous! ALL moms with new babies are exhausted and to just have some nanny take care of a new baby who is screaming at night and you just try to tune it out and sleep?

I had 2 bad sleepers and my 18 month old daughter has still never slept through but I manage to deal with it myself as her mother! She has a boyfriend if anything the babies dad should help out but to hire a nanny at night is LAZY parenting!

Holiday on

And MiB parents really let you cruise the neighborhood at 2 am with their baby? To me that is just insane! How could a mom sleep knowing her baby is out with a nanny at 2 am walking the neighborhood?

Siera on

@Holiday. Wow. Judgemental much? Hiring a night nanny is not lazy parenting. She is sleep deprived and has the money and the means to hire a nanny, so she has every right to do so. Please get off your high horse.

Holiday on

It is lazy parenting! We have the money to do that too but why would I want a nanny to do the things a MOMMY should be doing.

Maggie on

Maybe so you would be able to relax and get your blood pressure down so you don’t have to spend your time arguing in website commenting sections. Always so defensive, whether it’s about being a young mom or not using a nanny. Yikes.

MiB on

@Holiday, it was a very safe neighbourhood and the father had a job he really couldn’t do while sleep deprived, so he couldn’t be up all night with a crying baby without having to call in sick.

The modern family of parents and children as a single unit is a new phenomenon, earlier on people lived in bigger units, several generations in the same house, block or village, so you were likely to have someone who could help you, a mother, a grandmother, a sister, an aunt, a cousin. Nowadays many parents with young children live far away from their families, but the need for help is still there.

The saying that it takes a village to raise a child is just as true as it was 100 or 200 years ago, and there is nothing wrong with hiring help if you don’t have a village to support you. Asking for help when you need it is not lazy, it’s responsible, no matter wether you ask a family member, a friend, a nanny, a baby sitter, a psychologist, a doctor or a spiritual leader.

dsfg on

Wow, Holiday, do you want a medal? Hiring a nanny is not lazy parenting; very often it’s the best choice for parents and their child.

Holiday on

Hiring a nanny if you have to work is one thing, but at night?? Call me old fashioned or too close with my baby but it should be a parent with their baby at night! Parenting is hard work, if you cant handle it then do not have kids.

Siera on

@Holiday. Give me a break. You act like she’s handing her son over to a nanny 24/7. She even said she is still breastfeeding in a previous article, so it’s not like she’s not waking up at all in the middle of the night. Just because you don’t like the idea of having a night nanny, doesn’t mean she shares your opinion. Worry about your own children.

Ethel on

@Holiday. Just because she’s not filming a movie right now doesn’t mean she’s not working! I’ve watched and read her interviews and she seems like a very hands-on mother. She said her boyfriend works a tremendous amount of hours and she just recently gave in and hired nanny help. I imagine there are meetings and other things to tend to during the day. Not easy, if you haven’t slept for four months. She’s even admitted that she hasn’t lost any of her baby weight yet because she’s been focusing her time on the baby instead of the gym. Night nanny isn’t lazy parenting. I wish I could have afforded a night nanny for my son. I didn’t sleep for a year and I could have been a much better mother to him if I had rested. Nobody functions at 100% when you are sleep deprived. You’re not a better mommy for not hiring a nanny.. just so you know.

Mother of 2 on

WOW. I also find it hard to believe that her baby has started crawling at 4 months. Either way, I feel ya on the sleep deprived thing! My babies are 11 months apart. I went back to work after my first baby was 3 months old, I was pregnant again, waking up at night with her at that time a few times, and dealing with all the pregnancy feelings all over again, when I should have been trying to heal from my first c-section. Yes, the second baby was a true surprise and god heavens was it hard.

I would have LOVED to have a “nanny” at least once or twice a week to help at night with baby. My first daughter was also colic from about 2 months to about 4 months, and she always had crying spells at night. I dont see anything wrong with a little help here and there. You need it for sanity purposes, for health reasons…it will also make you a better parent when you are a little more rested! Less cranky! So if Selma has help….good for her!!!

Anonymous on

Holiday- In addition to what others have said, it’s not just “mommy” who should be getting up at night and otherwise taking care of the baby as you implied. Dads have a responsibility to their children as well…and it’s not just to bring home the bacon. My dad was very involved in my upbringing and did all of the parenting “jobs” my mother did (including the rather digusting ones such as getting up to deal with a child whose stomach virus decided to manifest itself in the middle of the night!) except breastfeed.

And thankfully, so are most of the other dads I’ve known. You might want to consider joining the 21st century. ;)

Holiday on

Anon is it the reading or the comprehending you have troubles with? I said parents should be with their kids several times and said Selms boyfriend should be getting up helping too.

MiB on

The thing is, it’s really impossible to predict if you are going to be able to handle something or not, I have often seen people who can handle parenting very well, but can’t cope when they also have to deal with illness, depressions, financial stress, bereavment or even something as trivial as moving across town. And I stand by my statement that there is nothing wrong with asking for help if you need it (and it certainly doesn’t make you a bad parent).

Anonymous on

Holiday- My reading comprehension is just fine, thank you. You said this: “It is lazy parenting! We have the money to do that too but why would I want a nanny to do the things a MOMMY should be doing.” Nowhere in that sentence do I see it mentioned that daddy should be doing that stuff, too!

Anonymous on

MiB- I agree with your comments 1000 percent! Not only is parents having help with their baby for at least the first few weeks hardly a new phenomenon, but in some countries the “it takes a village” approach to child rearing is still very much the norm. As long as parents don’t actually let other people raise their children for them, I don’t see the problem!

Jillian on

I don’t think there is an issue with working parents having night nannies. But IMO when you have a stay at home parent there is no need, regardless of the amount of money. In Selmas situation I think she’s working.

In regards to the breastfeeding at night. Just bc someone breastfeeds, doesn’t mean they do it at night or that the child doesn’t take bottles. So it’s possible the nanny is feeding pumped bottles at night to the baby or formula. Tori Spelling said she gives her baby both. Many do.

I would never ever allow my child to be driven in a car for comfort in the middle of the night! Wow. Regardless of how crabby our children have ever gotten we have never drove them around for sleep. I think that is horrible. Sorry. Not blaming you.

Mary

Anonymous on

I’ll bet her “tiny” nursery is bigger than my entire apartment.

Anonymous on

Even at 4 months, highly unlikely he is crawling. At 4 months, he’s probably not even sitting up on his own, much less crawling.

Jess on

congrats to selma and her man. my son slept through the night around 4 months but my daughter still has yet to sleep through the night and she’s 3 now. and i have a third baby on the way so next year will be fun.

There’s nothing wrong with Selma having a nanny at night. Mothers need their sleep too. I’d love to have a nanny but I can’t afford it. Having a nanny doesn’t make you a lazy parent. There’s nothing wrong with having help and getting a break now & then. And for some people driving their newborn around at night actually puts them to sleep. it soothes them for some reason. My hubby sometimes had to do that with my son and it put him right to sleep.

mrsw on

Why isn’t Daddy giving her some nights off? I don’t care how busy he is, it is his child,too.

Rae on

My daughter was climbing out of her crib at 9 months. when she was a year, she could turn the door knob and open the door. She climbs the stove and dryer. When I show people pictures of her doing these things, I always get told oh my, you need to watch her. the stupid people say, I need to spank her bottom. for what? I say, being confident and sure of herself. it is very possible for a 4 month old to crawl. some babies are born with teeth. everything and anything is possible.

nn on

ok ladies, do you think she is lying if she says her child is crawling?? give me a break!! my daughter at 10 months old was walking!! yes i said walking!! here is some really good adivce…. when my little one started to sleep thru the night maybe she was almost three months old any how i started her on a schedule right away and that took less then a week to do with her yes she cried and it broke my heart but we got thru it now like clock work she is alseep no later then 8pm every night… hey i need that time i do not want her running around until she feels she wants to sleep i know way to many moms that there kids do this and then they wonder why am i so tired??? why do i never have for myself blah blah blah

elena on

all my 3 babies now 2.5, 4, and 5 were not sleeping through the night until 2-3 months old, and i know it is crazy and exhausing especially yes if you are breastfeeding you still need to wake up and if you don’t then you are in pain of swollen breasts, i think nature knows what it is doing, preparing you for a challange to be a mother… it will get better it is a short period of life, and it will make you stronger :) good luck!

weezer on

There is no way that her baby is crawling! Not possible!!

Luanna on

My daughter could crawl at 3 months, it was the funniest thing to watch. She never believed me until her second baby started crawling at 3 months. So yup, it’s possible.

liz on

my son was a horrible sleeper since day one and now 11, he suffers from insomnia. my daughter on the other hand started sleeping through the night at three weeks old now she’s 3 and doesn’t sleep at all. kids can be silly sometimes. takes a lot of caffeine to keep this momma moving. good luck selma:)

Marky on

What is the issue about her hiring a night nanny? #1, she has stated her boyfriend is working lots of hours, #2 Don’t hear her saying she’s got grandparents, or other relatives nearby like some of you have, and #3 why is it anyone else’s business how anyone decides to care for their own child? Not to be ugly; it just seems so harsh to act as if she isn’t caring for her child properly just because she has some help.

When I had my 3rd child in exactly 4 years, I had my MIL’s help for 2 weeks as she was kind enough to help with meals and some laundry and a huge amount of encouragement. She was an angel who bought me the disposable diapers I couldn’t afford, and fixed her son’s favorite meals while I cared for my children, during those 2 weeks. My children had learned to soothe themselves to sleep, but I had a new baby I was nursing, and no sleep for the first 2 weeks.

After that, my mother, who was very ill, came to stay with us for 2 months while she had surgery. I rose to the occasion, and not only cared for my children, kept my house in order, and took care of my mother, but I also somehow managed to not become super depressed from the stress. Do I think everyone should do the same? No, I don’t. I wish I had been able to have some help, and if I had had any money, I would have been thrilled to hire help, borrow some help, or steal some. I worked myself into the ground, and worked like a dog, but at any time I would have been so grateful to have had whatever help I could get.

Before you go all freaky on me about where was my husband, he was working full time, helping me with every child and even helping fix meals as well as cleaning the but I would have been happy to have help, so we could both rest. Believe me, those children were very important to us and we love(d) them dearly

Why on earth do women feel the need to be so critical of other women who are, no doubt, doing the best they can to meet the needs of their child(ren). Just because they are celebs, doesn’t mean they are terrible parents or worse than you are.

Mary on

Apparently she doesn’t have the live-in nanny and staff to take the edge off, as MOST celeb Moms do. I’ll give her that but, Selma – welcome to motherhood. Most of us did this more than once and worked full-time jobs to boot. But, it is a uniquely satisfying place to be. I used to cherish the middle of the night feedings, that alone with me bonding that the Dad rarely did-back in my time having babies in the 60s and 70s. And yet, would just pray they’d eat and go back to sleep so I could too.

MMK on

ecl- I haven’t seen anyone come on here with fertility issues and complain about Selma. I have IF issues and I think what she’s saying is perfectly normal and fine. My sister has a baby girl and she doesn’t get sleep and I know how I’d feel if I didn’t get any sleep so I understand why that would be a complaint. But I wouldn’t say someone was an Ingrate. Go pick on something your an expert at like putting foot in mouth. If you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all.

victory on

Words of wisdom from a mother of three. Sleep deprivation comes with the territory of being a new mom. Grab a wink whenever the baby takes a snooze, forget everything else for now. Otherwise, you’ll become grouchy, this faze will pass, believe me.

MADELYN on

We used to call that “creeping” – it’s the precrawling stage when they push or pull themselves forward (or often backwards) on their bellies. My girls all were creeping between 3-4 months.

Karkulka on

I have four kids. First started to walk at 12 months, second at 6 months (really, not kidding), third at 8 months and now I have a 3,5months old that wants to stand while holding onto the furniture, I have to help her to stand up but she´s crying and wants me to help her. She´s doing plenty of excercise on her tummy too, but standing´s something she loves and I won´t be surprised if she walks early too.

Leslee on

I agree with you, ECL, the pettiness is out of control.

Sometimes I get a bit annoyed by mother comparing caring for her dogs as equivalent to taking care of multiples alone 24/7 but mainly because I can’t tie mine to a tree and she can.

Nikki on

My oldest was crawling at 4 months, cruising at 6, ad walking at 8 months. It does happen. He also had 2 teeth at 3 months. I have a picture of him holding his own bottle at 4 days old. Some kids hit developmental milestones very early. His doctor was never concerned becasue he stayed right on track with each one.

Cathy on

I wish to the big guy upstairs that I could have had help; my son’s first year is a complete blur from lack of sleep. I wish I had the sleep so I could remember more. I would never put someone down for hiring help so that person could be a better parent. I could totally relate to her comments. Good for her for admitting how tough it can be and how blessed she is; that’s the reality of being a parent.

HC on

Whoever said that it’s bad or lazy parenting to hire night help is absolutely being just judgmental and superior. Congratulations that you managed to do everything on your own without any help, but a lot of us, I would say most of us would benefit greatly from any outside help.

I also ended up doing everything on my own, mostly because my husband was out of town for work, my parents were unwilling to help and I had no other family or friends nearby who were also not busy. I did it all on my own, but if I had it to do over again and I knew what I know now I would have hired outside help without any hesitation whatsoever.

Gumbysmommy on

Read the article again, it states he is 4 months. I have an 11 week old and have been pretty lucky in the sleep department since she has been sleeping 8-9 hours a night since she was 5 weeks old. I never swaddled her at night bc I know it can be a hard habit to break.

Good luck to Selma, I’m sure in a few months the sleeping will get better, until then….coffee and makeup :)

olivia on

omg how dare she say that her baby is crawling. HOW DARE SHE!!!

Anonymous on

u people are all insane – Like every other sleep deprived mother in the world.. Good luck. Hire your nanny, take your kids to pilates but keep it out of the spotlight.

Debbe on

Selma, just letting you know if sleep deprived is all you have, feel blessed. My babys father left me when I was pregnant. Came home from hospital from a c-section with 100 dollars in my wallet, no family or friends to help me. For one month until my mother came to help it was me and my baby just the two of us every second of the day. I have been a single mom for 18 years now, he turns 18 in just a couple of months, let me tell you, sleep deprived is nothing.

Debbe on

Ps. To the people who say a baby cannot crawl yet at three months. You are visually thinking about a baby with its knees up, but my baby also moved at three months, not with knees, but with arms, he was all over the house, I have video to prove it. He would get off the large blanket I had on the floor, it is not called crawling with knees per se but he was moving ARMY fashion with his arms and he did, so I believe Selmas baby is probably doing that too….active babies will move at that age…mine was all over.

Christa on

It is clear Selma loves her baby, and it is also clear she is struggling to cope and be in love with her new role at the same time. Instead of tearing her apart for choices she is making to try and keep her family healthy, why not offer her support for having the strength to say she needs help. Not everyone is an Olympic champion, and not everyone can finish the race by themselves.

Kim on

I agree with what Holiday is saying about having a nany, it’s okay if you need one to help you out but most of the parenting duties should go to the parents and I agree if you feel like passing your kids off to Nanny all the time then don’t have kids and were not being judgemental that’s just an opinion!! I’m old fashioned too and who said parenting is easy your going to be exhausted maybe new moms need to have a more realistic view of what it means to be a parent but this too shall pass!!

heather on

There is no difference in hiring someone to help you once in a while at night time than letting your own mom, sister, or whoever, stay over and help you. I would have LOVED to have had a little help so I could have gotten some sleep during that first year of my son’s life! My mom lives a long way away and was not able to come for much visits but when she did it was HEAVEN, lol! One full night of even 6 or 7 hours was like a total renewing of mind and body for me. Every mom needs a little help but not every mom gets it unfortunantly

yolanda on

wow, a celebrity that takes care of their own child!! Mine is 9 months old and still gets up every 1 – 3 hours every night….and it does drive you nuts! I’m pretty happy if she sleeps more than 2 hours!

Dina on

The problem is many mommies keep their babies sleeping during the day, so they are awake at night.

Try to involve him in your rutine, dont make his rutine (sleeping and eating) yours. Thake the baby to the supermarket, jogging, with family, visiting friends, and at night he will sleep better.

BTW, some years ago, Selma said she was the kind of person who doesnt need lots of sleep.. I guess she lied then. All of us love to sleep.

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