Elisabeth Röhm’s Blog: Batteries Not Included

08/25/2011 at 08:00 AM ET
Courtesy Elisabeth Röhm

Elisabeth Röhm, best known for her role as Serena Southerlyn on Law & Order, is in the middle of a very busy year.

The actress can be currently be seen on the big screen in the Abduction, as well as upcoming films Chlorine, Transit and Officer Down, and is found online on Facebook and @ElisabethRohm on Twitter.

In her latest blog, Röhm — mom to 3-year-old daughter Easton August with fiancé Ron Anthony — confesses to having a “Mom Meltdown” and needing a little peace and quiet.

Everyone needs to be needed, but what do you do when it all becomes too much? Elisabeth wants you to tell her about the moments that make you ready to snap.

I’m having what is commonly known as a Mom Meltdown today! Arghhhhhh! You know what I’m talking about, PEOPLE.com readers.

It’s only 7 p.m. and I’m picking out my pajamas in my head and aching to be horizontal right about now! I just need a little peace and quiet. It’s human! It happens all the time to us moms.

I mean seriously, if one more person (or dog!) in my household follows me into the bathroom needing something that they can get themselves, I might just have to run for cover. See exhibit A above.

This is me pretending to be asleep at say, 7:30 while everyone is calling out to me for something that they need, want or desire. Like say a random toy that belongs to a friend or Ron asking me if I want to make cookies for everyone.

I mean, these are ordinarily the things I loooooove doing. I love solving their problems or making them a sweet treat. Just meeting their needs is so fulfilling — until it’s not. Until the Mom Monster shows up, making me want to run away and hide and pull my hair out from fatigue or exasperation.

There are moments that just throw you over the edge, right? Okay, so I just had one.

I kid you not, I just left the bathroom where I had gone for a small sliver of peace only to find, as I looked up, the dog and then Easton and then Ron calling to me from some distant corner of the house.

I’ll admit it, because I know you relate! I wanted to hide. I wanted to sleep. I just wanted a break in that moment! How about a little privacy?! Is anything that you need in this moment so important that you all have to follow me into the bathroom? Really?! I know I’m the matriarch, the nurturer but … come on?

Does any of this sound familiar? I mean please moms, tell me about those moments that make you snap! I need a good, good laugh right about now. I need to laugh at how tired I am at being on call 24/7.

I remember when I was about 8 years old, I walked in on my mother, who was in the bathroom. She was sitting on the pot and when I carelessly came in asking her to do something for me, she just looked up at me with such exasperation and said, “Lis, I love you but the time has come. I am going to lock the door in the future while I’m in the bathroom. I’m here for you, don’t worry. But I have to have some PRIVACY. Okay? Now, please leave the bathroom and don’t ever come in again while I’m going number two. Okay? Okay. Enough said.”

Her strained tone made absolutely no sense to me at the time, of course. Little did I know that my time was coming. Where not even going to the bathroom would be mine and mine alone. How familiar it all is now. Oh, how I need a moment of peace, ladies.

Tonight I am going to go to bed at 8:30 p.m. at the latest. I absolutely cannot, will not, refuse to be all things to all people past that hour. It’s kind of like the bathroom scenario. I mean, seriously moms, don’t you feel like you have to be sleeping or taking a shower to get a moment to yourself?! And even then, they still come a knockin’, right?

The last thing in the world that you want to be is a sourpuss or making your loved ones feel like you resent taking care of them because that is sooooo simply not true. But there does come a time when you just need to hide under the sheets and get an early sojourn in. Or let’s just say, to be real honest, there comes a time when you just want to say, “Do it yourselves! Leave me alone! Where is my Mommy?”

Like I said, I’m having a Mom Meltdown! I’m claiming my moment of freedom between the sheets tonight. As sexy as that sounds, I’m doing it all by myself! I’m just going to go to bed where no one can get me, ask of me, demand of me or cry, yell, pull or pinch or pout at me. I’m pooped. I need to recharge my batteries.

The other day I was with a mom friend who was literally about to pull her hair out. Running her business, being a wife, a mother, a dog owner and a friend. She said to me, “I’m out of here. I’m just going away for the weekend. Somewhere. Anywhere. That’s it, tootles! You all can manage for a few days without me… because Mom is out of here! Mom is checking out!”

I thought, ‘Yes, that’s exactly what I need.’ Just two days of rest. Somewhere. Anywhere. Between the sheets with my books and magazines. A good long swim in a pool or ocean where I don’t have my eyes watching out for the safety of others. Perhaps a meal or two that I don’t gobble down like a homeless animal because I’ve got bathtime and bedtime before me.

Not to mention I’d like to clean the kitchen, do the dishes and straighten up the house that a whirlwind has passed through before another day is upon us. Oh, and then the work? When does one do that? Yes, when do we moms get any work done at home?

Or how about reading a book? Do any of you read a book before you fall asleep? Maybe a page or two? Not like the old days when you could read a good 50 pages in one sitting. Nope, once you lie down in your bed and feel all warm and cozy … game over.

Let me be clear. I’m not complaining for the sake of complaining. I’m complaining with a pure purpose to support all you super moms who are darn tired! Who need a little sleep, TLC and gasp! Should I say it? Time alone, perhaps?

Maybe a quiet hour in the evening after you’ve been chasing toddlers, feeding babies, taking care of your partners, feeding the domesticated pets and other family members, maybe pushing paper at some job, blogging perhaps about motherhood, washing the clothes, cleaning the house and on and on…

We do it all, right? Not that we don’t get a little help from the heathens. But mostly it is in our hands, correct? And do we get a big congratulations every day after we’ve run our mini-marathon? Not really. Maybe a hug from a sweet little one telling us, “I love you Mom.” And most of the time that is all we need to feel like it’s worth it.

All the tiring days that lead into nights where you’d like to do a little something for yourself, but can’t seem to muster up the energy. Oddly, your night’s sleep is your big reward for living a full day and for giving beyond your expectations. That’s cool. We chose this life — mommy life.

I bring all this up, not because I need you to tell me I’m a good mom, a good partner or even a good dog owner/person. I bring this up so that we can recognize how human it is to feel spent, like you’ve given all you can and to be at your wit’s end. It is so natural.

And so I say, moms, take some time for yourselves! Please do it! I have to do it before my head explodes and starts spinning uncontrollably like something out of The Exorcist. You have to do it. I have to do it. Even people without kids have to take some time to be quiet, heal and rest where no one requires anything from you and you don’t have to feel the pressure of meeting people’s needs.

I know it sounds impossible to a mother who has so much on her plate. Even for me as I skulk away to write this blog, which is a cry for rest on all of our behalf, I feel a little guilty to not be at everyone’s beck and call.

Now that I’ve taken a few minutes to breathe here with you, share with you about our humanity, and point out my brazen mom friend who is just taking off for a few days on her own to recharge, I feel a whole heck of a lot better about the idea of leaving the dirty kitchen, the laundry, the dog, the job, the responsibilities until tomorrow … after I’ve taken a long stretch of sleep to recharge the batteries a little.

Maybe and only after that … after we’ve claimed a little time to ourselves will the Mom Meltdown Monster melt away. So that we can feel whole again and like the deep wells of selflessness that we mothers are.

But just remember that the Meltdown Mom will return. Oh, yes she’ll be back; that tired female creature who manages to do everything with a smile, endless amounts of patience and the ease of foregoing her simplest needs like peeing in private, for instance. We who wear last decade’s fashions while we make sure the little ones have new sneakers for school.

Yes, we are the mothers who make sure it’s all done and we feel pretty good about ourselves that everyone’s needs are being met. It’s our job!

But just a word of advice here in our mom club that we’ve built here together. Don’t forget to take a little time for yourselves along the way. Even if it’s as simple as going to bed at dusk with the babes. I feel better already just thinking about it! Tonight is my night!

I love you ladies, tell me that you’re taking care of yourselves too! That after you are all things to all people, that you give a little bit back to yourself. Without you they’d be lost, that’s for sure. But they can all manage for a night while you indulge in a little alone time.

Until next time…

— Elisabeth Röhm

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Showing 175 comments

Maria on

I am having mom meltdown right now so this is a good time for me to read this! I only have one baby- a 17 month old- but I have a lot of stress right now with other issues and I just want to decompress- it is so so hard to be on all the time and tend them lovingly and keep them happy while having an internal meltdown!!

Dawn on

The last time I had a “Mom-Meltdown”, I grabbed a piece of chocolate cake, a glass of red wine, the phone and hid in the bathroom for an hour. My neighbor called me and when I told her what I was doing, she got really quiet and told me she would call me back. She did call me back, after she spent an hour in the bathroom, with cookies and a diet coke.

Hey, we all need the break!!

Catherine on

I don’t even have kids, but I love reading these blogs! I salute and respect all moms, whether they work outside the home or stay at home. It is a hard job. I have two cats and a full-time job and I still complain sometimes but then I remind myself that most women also have kids and a husband to take care of!

MA momma on

Elisabeth, can I just tell you how much I enjoy reading all of your blogs! But todays, well, todays was SO timely I sort of felt like you crawled into my head!! Freaky.

Anyway, I hear ya, 100%. The story you shared about your mom made me chuckle, I can’t even pee by myself anymore, between a 4 year old, a one year old, and yes, even the husband (although he typically waits until I’m in the shower to trapse on into the bathroom) I have zero privacy anymore.

This morning I nearly reached my breaking point. My husband leaves for work fairly early so I am left in charge of the 2 girls, 5 sometimes 6 days a week, before I have to drop them off at various daycares and get myself to work. As I was helping my eldest get changed, my youngest was insistent on getting in my face looking for attention. I just needed one minute to help my oldest, but of course, you can’t tell a one year old, “wait, mommy will be with you shortly” can you? You can, but she doesn’t understand you.

Whether I am home alone with the girls or he is around, this sort of thing happens frequently, where I am being bombarded with requests and he has taken time for himself to sit and watch a sports show or look at a magazine. I have created the predicament I am in now b/c my husband has been let off the hook (by me) in terms of helping with our daughters.

I love him, but I wish he was more hands-on and not just when it’s convenient for him. Why is it so hard for me to “grow a pair” and just hand off the kids to him and say, “I love you, but I really REALLY need a break” especially since I haven’t had a full night’s sleep for nearly 2 years!!

I could go on and on, but right now, I will simply say, thank you for sharing your feelings with all of us. I for one, appreciate your honesty.

Jean on

I can COMPLETELY relate to this. I used to be one of those people who would read all the new, popular books when they came out, in a matter of days. 100 pages a night usually, when I got into bed. But now I am married and have a 15 month old and when I get to bed the most I read is 2 pages and then I’m out.

I even find myself trying to do things like sweep the floor and clean up dishes while my daughter is eating dinner because I say to myself, “Once she’s in bed, I am going to SLEEP.” Many nights I put her in bed and let out a sigh of relief.

And after she’s in bed, the dog, who has been neglected by all the attention I must pay the baby, now is suction cupped to my legs and insists on bringing me multiple toys to play with. And I feel guilty so of course I play with him.

And don’t get me started on my husband. “What’s for dinnnnnnner?” “Where is my brown belt?” “What’s the password to the online banking?”

ljf on

Elisabeth – I sooooo understand. I’m also an only child and I now have 3 kids (7 yo twins and a 3 yo) and sometimes the sheer NOISE of my life makes me want to flee (alone!!). Mom?? Mom?!? MOM!!??? All. Day. Long.

And did I mention I have two dogs too? The bathroom visits really are quite remarkable. I LOVE them all but I have had the very same thought you articulated: if one more person/animal needs something from me, I may scream.

One day I lectured my labrador retrievers about how I would have at least one whole extra HOUR a day if I didn’t have to feed or walk them (but I do love them and normally LOVE walking them). It’s just this feeling sometimes of death by a thousand cuts.

Last night I took a “Mommy time out” and sat outside with a glass of wine and a magazine for 10 minutes enjoying a quick “alone” moment. And it helped, lots! Those small stolen moments can make a difference.

Now if I only could find time to actually read a book again…love your blog posts! Lisa

Tammy on

I had spent the entire weekend with my boys and late Sunday afternoon my husband finally came home from work. All weekend, the only thing I heard was “Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama..” It didn’t stop, I was slowly losing it.

As soon as the boys heard their dad come home a miracle happened. I began to hear “Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.” It was the sweetest sound, music to my ears! I told my husband that I loved him and that I’d be back in an hour!

coco on

This article was right on time for me. I am the mother to a very loving but sometimes clingy 9 year old daughter. She not only relies on me for EVERYTHING but she loves to have my undivided attention 24/7.

This past summer I tried to ignore my need for “mommy time” because of the guilt I felt over needing time to myself but after a mommy meltdown I began to tell her that she was a big girl and could do a lot of things for herself. I also told her needed to give me my own space for a few moments each day so that I could read or just breathe.

We spend a lot of time together and I carve out play time each day for me and her but there are times when I really need to be left alone. She know understands and things have gotten better.

Jess on

I love your blog posts, Elisabeth!! I can totally relate. I am a working mom to a 3 year old and 5 year old. I was laughing about the barging in the bathroom, happens to me all the time. And your comment about sacrificing last year’s fashions for kids’ clothes and shoes. I recently had my birthday and was given gift certificates and am so excited about shopping for myself, not the kids all the time!!

It is hard, especially when you are a working mom, to get time for yourself. When I am at work, I am always thinking about the kids and sometimes vice versa. It is hard to do so many things, work, take care of kids, be a good partner/spouse, clean house, etc. I find that I have to let some things go, like cleaning, so I can spend more time with my kids.

I have a stay at home mom friend, who went to AZ to visit her parents, BY HERSELF. People didn’t understand, but I did. That is her job and she needs a vacation. Kids are always calling you, “Mama, mama,” and demanding things, so she needed to get away and recharge. And this is a woman who has a VERY helpful husband.

I love my kids more than anything, but I understand that you do need time to recharge. And with a 3 and 5 year old, it is NOISY all the time. I am not sure what the solution is, but I think as they get older, you will have more time to yourself. Just think about when your daughter goes off to college, that is what I try to remind myself, that these phases are fleeting and will change. There will be a time when they don’t need us as much.

Hang in there….and take some time for yourself!!

MM on

I can relate to the bathroom scene. I can be in the bathroom and within seconds little hands appear from under the door and little voices asking, “Mommy what are you doing?” That’s when I either cry or laugh! I think they just sense when mom is in the bathroom.

Twin Mom on

I can so relate to this, having a 6 year old and twins who are 3. There’s rarely a moment of peace and quiet in the house.

But I’ve found the perfect hiding spot (so far) where I can get a good 10-20 minutes of ME time. The playroom! It’s so obvious but the kids never think to look for me in there. I cherish the few minutes I can steal in there, just sitting and looking out the window or being able to read a few pages of my book.

I chuckle when I hear them yelling “Mommmy! Mommy! Where did she GOOOOOOOOOO?” before they finally head there as a last resort. LOL

erica on

I have 3 kids; 7, 4 and 2 and I have meltdowns DAILY. It was a HORRIBLE summer with all three kids home ALL.DAY.LONG and nothing but 100 degree weather outside. MIS-ER-ABLE.

So, while I do have my mornings anti-chaotic thanks to only one child home 3 days a week now, that doesn’t mean the afternoons are smooth-sailing. Ohhhhh no. As soon as my older two come home from school it is NON.STOP.FIGHTING. 2.5 seconds after the first fight has errupted? I melt down.

All of those older mothers and especially grandma-aged women LOVE to tell me to enjoy my kids while I have them at home. Yes, for the most part I DO enjoy them, but between the hours of 3:30pm-8pm? Not so much.

One of these very opinionated older women can GLADLY come over and “enjoy” my children while I head on out for some retail therapy or go sip some coffee. Heck, I’ll sit in my car and stare out the window if it means peace and quiet.

ClaireSamsmom on

Oh yeah….I can totally relate to this blog post. I feel like I cannot do anything alone anymore. My little ones follow me everywhere and even when my husband is at home and I try to steal away for a bath or something…they knock on the door! It drives me crazy sometimes!

I am even suprised that I am typing this right now and don’t have a toddler on my lap.

My husband travels quite a bit for work and I am alone alot with my kids. I love them to pieces, but yes…we do need that alone…get away time sometimes….more than sometimes. And you can bet that this weekend after my hubby gets back from his trip I will be claiming that for myself!!!

Totally understand where you are coming from Elisabeth! 🙂

Shelley on

I love my kids, I love being home with them (almost) full-time, but yes, there are certainly times when I just want to be left alone for a little bit! Whew! thanks for sharing!

Kim on

I had a mom meltdown last night, but I didn’t catch it in time to calm the yell that escaped my lips.

I am 5 months pregnant and I have a 3 year old. Last night I cooked dinner, clean after dinner, gave my son a bath, did a load of laundry and all while I was feeling sick.

I took my son to bed and as I am trying to get him down to sleep, my husband turns up the volume on the baseball game and has all the lights on in the living room. My son keeps asking me why daddy is allowed to be awake. He is asking this like over and over again the tv is blasting – I feel sick, then my son tells me he has to go potty – I take him – it is a scam – he just wanted to see daddy in the living room. I take him back to bed – he says he has pee- I take him back in the bathroom and he misses the toilet pees everywhere.

I lost it – went into the lving room and told my husband to take over because I was about to lose my mind.

My husband says “what is the big deal?”


oy that house got quiet real fast.

I feel bad because my son go scared. 😦 bad mom.

Marcia on

I am not a mom, but am very familiar with the no alone time, I have furkids. My latest furbaby just turned two and I have had her since she was 4.5 weeks old and really I am the only “mom” human or otherwise she has known, so naturally she is with me constantly. I can’t even walk into the kitchen to get a glass of water without my dear Danni following me. I love her to pieces, but there are times, especially at 2 AM when I don’t need to hear the pitter patter of little feet trying to find me.

And since I work freelance I need to spend a lot of time away from home or in my home office which is hard for her to understand, and if I need alone time which is almost every other week right now and it doesn’t work out I just blow up. However, with the recent acquisition of the Kindle app for my Dell Streak I am able to relax with several good books and Danni can lounge in the same room without bothering me. She can see me and to her that’s all that counts.

Kat on

Oh my goodness can I relate!

My husband works from home two days a week with our 9 month old. I can’t even get peace at work on those two days! Today alone he called me seven times because the baby wouldn’t take her nap – expecting me to have the magic answer! It is stressful enough to always be on baby duty when at home, but at work too?!?

Denise Hames on

I just talked to my daughter who is in the middle of a melt down. She has a full time job and commutes to work. She has 3 children in 3 different schools. After she works out getting everyone picked up from school…. She has football, soccer and cheerleading practice aftere the kids are picked up from school. Her husband is going on the night shift and will be unable to assist in getting anyone anywhere. She is stressed beyond stressed.

EH on

I can completely understand. I’m reading this book, “She’s Gonna Blow” that’s dedicated to this particular subject. I wait until everyone is in bed asleep and read it in peace and quiet. Everyone keeps telling me that it’s gonna get better. My daughter turns 3 in October. So…..I’m waiting. Just remember, “This too shall pass!”

Jen DC on

Although not a parent, this is the main reason I refuse to be a SINGLE parent. My mother recently called asking “when was [I] going to make [her] a grandmother?” I sighed. I’m her caregiver (although currently from a few states away), work a demanding job for 9-11 hrs/day, and have a relatively active social life and am single.

I was a nanny for a good while and that wee small taste of single parenthood – being alone all day with an infant – taught me all I needed to know about myself and raising a kid alone. And that is, I value my alone time tooooo much to do it. As a nanny to an infant, if I was in the bathroom, he was in the bathroom. If I was getting dressed, he was in a pillow fort watching and waiting. Unless he was asleep, my little man became my little lamprey: On me, almost all the time from 7AM to 4PM.

It was enjoyable, I loved him, but dear LORD, save me from having to do it solo. (Which he graciously has, in the form of birth control.)

Anyway, yes, you have driven home yet again why I probably won’t enter into the parenthood game as a single player. Good luck getting to bed early tonight, my dear. Sleep well. They will call again in the morning!

Holiday on

I can totally relate! I have a 5 year old and 15 month old and a husband who works until 9 pm every night.

There are times I just want some peace and quiet and to be alone but it doesnt happen. I just take the kids to the back yard and let them run around and that helps because they let off steam and when they are happy I am happy. But it is hard being a parent even though some days I am about ready to cry at the end of the day!

K.W. on

Why is it that I can be upstairs doing laundry, cleaning, getting ready to go to work, etc and any number of our 4 children will come upstairs asking me for juice, a missing toy, to break up a fight or what-ever and meanwhile my husband will have been downstairs, usually in the same room with them and they ask him for nothing..where did he find the invisible pill and why isn’t he sharing?

missblogatherapy on

i could not possibly agree more!! my mom monster reared her ugly head the other day as I was sick, sleep deprived, and over worked.

needless to say i’m going to the spa on my day off from work and will be glad to do so.

stacie on

Oh Elisabeth, I can completely understand. We do such much for our families, our children and our friends that we often forget to have time for ourselves until we get to the point where we need to go and hide under the doona for a few hours.

I work full time, am studying for a post graduate diploma in mental health and drug & alcohol studies, have a 14 and 11 daughters who each have their own activities and it’s really hard to get time for self.

By realising you need some mum time, its what makes you a good mum. If we don’t take some time for ourselves we burn out and an exhausted mum is not a happy mum.

I would love to be able to read a book that ISN’T a textbook at this point. My mum time is once they are all asleep and that includes the husband.

So go, be kind to yourself, go to a day spa, have your hair done, have a hot bubble bath. Or and treat yourself to some good quality chocolate.

Marie on

I can understand what you are saying with it being hard to keep up. I just got my kitchen clean….

I then try & keep it in perspective & remember how much I went thru to have my little guy & that I am currently dealing with an ectopic pregnancy & that helps me stay in the game, so to speak.

Maria on

I love your blog and enjoyed so much reading all the comments.

I live in Ecuador, I am a working mom with a 3year old and 11 month old and I can relate soooo much to all the things said! We moms have to do everything, take care of the kids, the husband, the house, the job, the friends. This week I had 3 deadlines at work, my 2 babis are at home the whole day and I had to organize a Baby shower for a friend! I almost had something!

Anyway, we have to stay strong and enjoy life as much as possible!

Kelly on

Elisabeth! I have a 5 year old and an almost 2 year old and I feel this way sometimes as well. I think it’s normal.. though most of my friends never mention it. I love how real you are and how open and honest. I love reading your blog! Best wishes.

Elle on

Elisabeth… I agree with everything in your blog, but most of all, I wanted to tell you how much I enjoy your blog. Out of all the celebrity bloggers, I enjoy your pieces the most because of the honesty in which you write! Please keep writing!

JoBeQuinn on

Oh the Mommy Meltdown! I have one almost daily! Don’t we all! I have three kids, ages 6, 4 and 7 months, and a few weeks ago I had this sort of “Parental Perfect Storm.”

My 6 year old had a case of diarrhea and my 4 year old was under the weather. My 7 month old had a rare case of spit up and got his entire outfit just gross. I had to change him right away. While I was in the midst of changing him, my 6 year was having another bout of diarrhea and needed help in the bathroom, meanwhile I hear this awful retching from the 4 year old who is laid up on the couch downstairs!

How do you prioritize?! I put the baby naked in the crib, (I can always change a crib sheet) bypassed the 6 year old in the bathroom who has his hindquarters up in the air so that I can clean him up, (I can always give a bath and mop the floor) and run downstairs to help my 4 year old daughter who is throwing up to ensure she doesn’t choke!

That all happened before 9am and I thought, “Oh no! If this is the first part of my day, what is the rest of my day about to hold?! I will need some serious chocolate therapy!”

Luckily, the rest of the day was quiet and sickness passed quickly and my mommy sanity was restored!

Jess on

Great blog, and I hope you got your quiet time.

I have nothing but admiration & praise for all you moms!!!! I honestly don’t know how ya’ll do it. I’m 35, w/a spouse, 2 dogs, and a full time job and feel this way. I was up till 1:30 last weekend cleaning. My husband was in bed the dogs were tucked in too and finally some quiet me time and what did I do but clean.

Again my praise to all you moms you’re the best and an inspiration to the rest of us ladies out there who feel like they’re over whelmed w/out the added kids. THANK YOU!

kristy on

I can definately relate to this. It took me no less than 20 minutes to read this post. Not because I am a slow reader, but because my chidren have a sixth sense of when mommy is doing something that doesn’t directly involve them. My son(10 months)took off with my wireless mouse and while retrieving that and answering my phone, my daughter(3) decided to “draw me a picture,” except she drew it on my computer desk with a permanent marker.

Brooke on

JoBeQuinn’s story made me laugh out loud…..Holy Moly What a day…..

Newmom2010 on

Let me first start off with I LOVE reading your blogs i read them while i was pregnant and i currently have a 8 month old he is very active. crawling, standing, trying to walk into everything.

i love it! my lovely hubby who loves asking for things that is right in front of his face recently told me that i need to take time for myself (go figure) so reading this i guess i will start taking him up on his offer.

i always try to do things myself but now we have given each other at least 1/2 hr to an hour alone time a day alone to do whatever while the other is with the baby and a sunday afternoon to mid evening a month to the same hang out with your friends, play basketball, read a good book, relax and watch your favorite show.

best wishes to everyone.

Shannon on

Elisabeth, I LOVE your blog! I can totally relate to this one especially. However, I think I may have stumbled upon the key! The other night I walked into the bathroom but did NOT shut the door. Not one of my 2 small children or husband came running for my aid and assistance! My husband did glance in at me and tried to shut the door and I quickly said, “No, leave it open! No one’s bothered me yet!” It’s like they hear the click of the door closing from miles away and come running to interupt that one futile moment of peace!

I love hearing about your baby and family struggles, as they are so universal!

Tisha on

I am not a mother, but I do have three dogs. I can relate to Elisabeth a bit. There are moments when I just want a few minutes to myself. I don’t want to speak to anyone or have anyone speak to me. There are mornings I want to sleep in but know I can’t because I have to take the dogs out for their morning walk. I love the three of them and everything is forgotten when I come home and they all greet me like they haven’t seen me in years rather than a few hours.

I believe if you can find a minute to yourself, take it. You don’t have to be supermom (or superdad) everyday all day.


AAAAHHHH…. the mommy melt down. lol

I look back at those days and absolutely miss them!! I know that may seem odd to you now, but my daughter’s are 18 & 23 now, and I never see them very often, they are busy with thier own lives, school, work, boyfriends etc.

I do remember thinking wow how can I get everything done in a day and keep both girl’s happy. But you manage through it and after years of school, sports, and other activities, I miss the stress of running around all over town for the girl’s, because now I feel they don’t need me anymore. I am only 42 (started family young) and I now have to schedule time to fit into thier schedules.

So I know this sounds cliche’, but enjoy all of the interruptions and “I need this” “I need that” times. They go by so quickly and soon you will have so much quite time that you long for a noisy crowded home.

Love the blog Elisabeth, things do get easier and try the leave the bathroom door open trick, worked for me also. Kids just want to know where you are every moment, just like you needed to know where they are every moment when they were younger.

I always kept a box of activities to do when I needed a mommy break, these would be things the kids could do on their own and would take at leat 30 min. before they would come looking for you to show you what they have created.

Elizabeth on

This really should be re-titled “WOMAN Meltdown.” You don’t have to have kids to know what this is like. I work a demanding job, am a care-giver to a husband with serious health issues, pet owner, business owner, friend, daughter, ect. I have so many hats, its hard to keep up with them all.

Between the dr’s appointments, work, prescriptions, dog food runs, errands, house cleaning, bills, church, yard work, laundry, ect – its easy to feel like you are losing your mind. 10 quiet minutes would be HEAVEN, but the second you sit down, you are needed for something else.

connie on

I can so relate to this!!!! This is my life as well LOL

Wendy on

Fridays are the worst for me!! At the end of a long week, when everyday every semi-silent moment seemed to be ripe for my name being thrown into the air, I’m “tired” of hearing my name. Is it crazy that I’m looking forward to traffic school tonight? No. To a mom of 2 4-and-under, I think it’s perfectly normal. Normal is the new crazy.

Nicole on

I have a 2 year old and a four-month old and can relate to everything you said! I have been so exhausted and overwhelmed for the last four months that I barely take time to eat…and, yes, I realized the other day that I spend insane amounts of time in the shower because it is the one time of the day that no one is screaming, punching, kicking, crying, barking or demanding something of me.

Two days ago, my husband brought home a card and gift certificate for me to spend a day at the spa. An entire day! And my aunt and uncle who live close by offered to take both of my kids for a Friday night and I don’t have to get them until Saturday. I can’t imagine an entire night to spend with my husband and SLEEP.

I am so excited. I used to get excited for trips to the Caribbean or getting a promotion at work. Now it only takes a little time to myself! I have started making unecesary doctor’s appointments for myself so I can sit in the waiting room and read! LOL.

So good to hear other moms are going through the same thing…

Shannon on

Heck, I NEVER even get that bathroom time 🙂 When I’m in the shower…my babe is RIGHT there like “mama mama mama mama mamam mamamamamama” geez man I was having one of those melt downs last night….love my little booger bear!

BK on

Are we living parallel lives? LOL! Amen, sister! You are not alone. I get requests and demands while I’m in the middle of a shower. I’m in the shower–I cannot help you! This with their daddy totally available downstairs watching TV. But we’ll all be missing this attention when our kids are older and we’re the last thing on their minds. Still drives me bats&@t, though!

Janine @ Alternative Housewife on

I am leaving this open to show my husband when he gets home!

I am having the hardest time lately with being ‘touched out’ as I nurse my one year old through what seems to be a growth spurt. I need my family to understand that I need to take care of myself so that I can keep caring for them!

Great post.

Holiday on

PLEASE ladies who have “fur babies” it is insulting to compare raising kids to raising a cat or dog.

You can put your cat and dog outside while you are at work and leave them with a bowl of food and water. A baby, you cant leave alone for 10 SECONDS.

I am not trying to be mean but seriously I have had cats and dogs my whole life and it is nothing and I mean nothing like raising kids. I have a 5 year old and 15 month old and every second is taken up by their needs.

Kim on

I feel your pain! I have twin 2 year olds and today was the day from hell. When they weren’t whining, yelling, clinging, or complaining, my dear husband was calling my cell phone every 5 minutes to make sure I did all his errands! Right now I’m under the covers with my laptop decompressing. So glad I read this because sometimes I feel like I’m the only one!

Arin on

Not yet a parent but I have been an early childhood teacher for 10 years. My kids/students are a constant source of amazement and I am so proud to have a part in their early educational lives. HOWEVER, it is mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting dealing with such young children and their families, most of whom are facing all kinds of challenges.

Sometimes my husband and friends don’t quite understand that I just need to decompress and relax sometimes because it is overwhelming. I care deeply for my students and their families and would not consider another job but I do understand the Mommy/Caregiver/Teacher meltdown 🙂

Thanks for encouraging us to remember there is no sin in a bubble bath, Sade and a cocktail!

ecl on

Dads need to help out more.

Teri on

Oh Kim! You’re not a bad mom…you’re a stressed out mom. We all have our moments when we’re absolutely pushed beyond the edge. Do not beat yourself up! Just be sure to give your little boy some serious lovings later on, let him know he’s very very loved, and explain the situation. Even if he’s too young to understand, it’s the feelings behind the words that he will understand.

I have to do that with my three year old all the time…she’s so very independent, stubborn, and clingy, all at the same time. And being pregnant on top of it all! Husbands just don’t quite get it, because they’re never in the same situation, nor will they ever be. Lots of *HUGS* from me, and hang in there!

denise on

I have three children,19,15 and 8. The eldest son returns tomorrow for his sophomore year of college, The second son returns Monday for his second year of high school and the our daughter returns to second grade.

I ran around all summer taking the eldest to the country club where he lifeguards, the second son to basketball open gyms and my daughter to playdates and the pool. We also have a 10 year old Pug and live in an almost 20 year old colonial home. I made a promise to my God not to work outside the home, thus dedicating most of my energy to their care, thus making huge financial sacrifices Stress can be managed but so many moms are not willing to make sacrifices by putting their career on hold. YOU CAN NOT HAVE IT ALL.

I am almost 50 and am very wise . I have watched 12 couples divorce over the last several years, tons of money with both working and no time for each other, the kids or personal time. What is your PRIORITY? If one partner can pay the bills, the other should take care of the kids because they grow fast. When a woman works outside the home, takes care of a husband, children, an ailing parent(I took care of a dying mother for three years which required travel and leaving my kids with hubby, a pet, home, laundry, church obligations, school volunteering, etc., eventually, the woman will suffer health problems, physical or emotional, or both.

Woman are killing themselves today with their stressful lifestyles. Why do you think the heart attack rate has increased for women? SIMPLIFY your life before it’s too late ! And STOP COMPLAINING , if you are blessed with a spouse or partner. The single mom or moms in starving nations like Africa NEVER get breaks or privacy!

Mom of two kidlets on

I laughed so hard when I read this! My friend and I often put ourselves on “Mommy time-outs.”

My four year old and seven year old follow me around the house on a regular basis and use what I call their “sonar ping,” they randomly call for me just to wait to hear if a noise comes back at them. It is like a constant sweep to ensure that I am within calling distance in the off chance that they may need something.

I also have two dogs and a husband (who would also qualify as a large child sometimes,) who require attention, help, an answer to some common-sense question etc.

The friend I was talking about sat everyone down at the kitchen table a week ago and explained to them all that when Mommy is in the bathroom, she is still on the other side of the door. It is not a portal to an alternate dimension or planet and that, if they are patient and do not disturb her, at some point she will reappear!

Every time I feel like I’m going to explode due to a lack of space or oxygen I think of my Mom telling me to savor this experience because it goes so fast. Someday soon, I will wish to hear two little voices asking for help or the barking of my two dogs or the “sonar-ping” that is my everyday.

Until then, I will enjoy my self-imposed time outs in the bathroom with my book and the telephone.

Holly on

Three kids, two dogs, two cats…there are people out there in the world who can actually go to the washroom alone??????WHAT????? I guess my troop feels compelled to protect me from any random attack that might happen when I’m out of view.

Jenn on

Amen sister! 🙂 With 3 year old twins and a 10 year old at home, I love my quiet time – when I can sneak it in.

Karyn on

I have to admit, I tend to come over to these blogs because they are one of the few places where the comments are mature and sensible, lol. Don’t have babies, or furbabies, but just wanted to say I enjoy your blog and the comments it elicits.

mindy on

I so can relate to everything you have blogged about and most of the other comments! As a mother of 4 children (12,10,9 & 7) what exactly is a quiet moment? Hmmm. 8:30 p.m. when the kids are in bed. I can actually breathe and find my brain. Now, I may not make much sense, but it is QUIET!!

The bathroom thing is hilarious and so very true! My kids now know not to come near the bathroom if I am in it unless one of them is bleeding profusely or has a broken bone!

Hang in there, you are doing a GREAT job!!

Becky on

My daughter is now 12yo. She is very needy at times and other times very independent. I am no longer working due to the economy. Because the school year last year I am now home schooling. I am home with her 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I wont be getting holidays off. LOL.

I have been having a mommy meltdown every evening. I just want peace and quiet. I do lock that bathroom door. I didnt use to. Whe she was younger I would relax in a bubble bath. This seemed to be a clear message to my daughter and husband to come in and sit on the floor and talk. Before I would know it, the dogs, the cats and poss one of the pet rats or rabbits would be in their also. I would say, care to ask the neighbors in?

Things are changing now that she is getting older. Husband runs interference now. Dogs and rats have moved on to heaven and bathtime is now me time again. Somedays I miss times past. But, they made for some great memories. And there are always more memories to be made.

Natesmom on

I swear its like a closed door automatically triggers every single need. Go to the bathroom or your bedroom and close the door? Everyone is hurt, is hungry, needs to pee, needs to know where the remote is…Hang in there! You are not alone.

lisa on

Totally relate, and wonder how single parents do it! I was ill this week, and thank God for my husband. I count my blessings. I agree, pets don’t count. Puleeze.

missy :) on

Ladies –

I’m not sure what I loved reading the most, Elisabeth’s blog or all of the responses hahaha!

I, too, can relate. Every evening when I’m making dinner (and you know what that entails, ladies – prep, making the food, and cleanup!!), my 2 1/2 year old daughter is clinging to my leg asking for milk or wanting picked up – mama, mama, maaaammmmaaaa, while my husband is staring mindlessly at the tv in the family room. When I ask for help, he can’t even mutter a coherent response (and he doesn’t even drink hahaha).

I really agree with Shannon, though, I never shut the bathroom door and I get a lot of peace (I find myself relieving my bladder A LOT during the day haha)!

And Holiday, although I love ya sister, I disagree with your views about the women who only have furbabies (and I use “only” loosely). I personally think furbabies are harder than human babies. When I hear people say they’re getting a puppy to prepare for parenting, I have to laugh – and HARD. They unfortunately don’t have diapers to catch their accidents and most of the time can’t be taken on vacations or into the grocery store. And if you have a nervous dog, forget it, you need to either invest in hardwood or never let anyone new into your house, aaaahhhh!!

Love you ladies – we’ll get through this!!!!!!

Nancy on

My boys are now 19 & 22 yrs old — but I can still vividly remember one particular incident when they were young — I opened the shower curtain and there stood both boys, my husband and the dog, all “needing” something!! LOL It was at that moment that I instituted the “privacy” in the bathroom thing. Due to my reaction from this incident, they were pretty good with the new rule LOL Thanks for the memories!

Leann on

I enjoy reading your blog! I am not a parent but a high school band teacher, so I spend a lot of time with the same kids during school, after school and weekend performances, I can definitely relate to getting sick of my own name! It’s so nice to come home at the end of the day and have silence. 🙂

Jillian on

Holiday, I find your comments to often be insulting, as I FEEL, you put people down and brag constantly. I actually don’t believe half of what you say, so I just try and ignore you and you should do the same.

If people want to discuss their fur babies and how difficult they are, right on….because they are, for sure! I had more health issues with my fur babies than human babies. I love them all, but everyone has different experiences. Some will never have a human baby and a fur baby is their life. To infer that someone shouldn’t speak or compare because they don’t have a human child, is just plain rude.

Jennifer Mitchell on

I feel you,

Just two days ago, while on “vacation”, my four year old was at me again about finding something, and my husband was not being his usual intuitive helpful self, and it had been a very long day, I looked at my daughter and said “sweetie, I love you and you have me so frustrated right now, that I don’t know what to do”! She looks at me with this look of total bewilderment and says, “but Jennifer, I can’t do anything about it”! Yes, for the first time EVER my daughter called me something other than Mommy, Mom, or Mamma! (Well, the occasional “Daddy”)

I realized at that moment, that she couldn’t help it, she doesn’t understand, and I can’t expect her to! However, I do understand, and when the little things add up to big things, and I am just at the end of my rope, it is my JOB to take a time out for me!!! That way I can recharge and be the mommy I LOVE being, and the mommy she deserves!

So, go to bed early!!! Take a two or three night mini-vacation, it is the BEST thing you CAN do for your family!

Hang in there, from one mommy to another!

MamaMia on

Wow! Thanks for your great blog! I am the mother of five, and the stepmother of four, That is NINE! I totally need a vacation or a T.V… (No, we don’t have one)…

I can totally relate to the bathroom issue. I can’t remember the last time I had a complete phone conversation, or taken a shower without someone pounding on the door…

At 2 am when the house is FINALLY clean, and the children all asleep, and my husband snoring away, I finally have that small moment of peace just between desperate fatique and the train to Dreamville…

Sigh, one day they will all grow up, and I will miss this….I think.

Anonymous on

It’s so exhausting being needed all the time! Excellent post! Thank you for sharing and being so real and honest. It’s also so exhausting being so guilty all the time. What a mother to do?

Lisa on

So enjoyed your blog. My children are furbabies. But I am also a Nurse. I do know through my training that “Mommy time” is absolutely essential for “Mom” and the rest of the family. Look for creative ways to get “Daddy” to take over the 1 0n 1 time (of course only a text message away if neede). Go out with a friend and shop, join a book club, take in a Flick. ( Hey a good dose of Ben Affleck or Matt Damon can be very therapeutic!)

Also, I loved you on L&O. Wish they could re-create your character! L&O was never the same without your character! Also the loss of Jerry Orbach made a huge impact on the entire series. Would you ever think about doing a new TNT “Drama”? I know, I just created another “job” to add to your list! Take care and take “Me” time.

Gunars on

No real man who loves his wife would refute this at all, but we are all in this together and need to share time away!! Not just alone but just back to the two of us!!

Andrea on

And I am wondering if I should have number three…because yesterday I was in Hawaii by myself while I was really at the beach with my husband, my parents, their two barky weiner dogs, and my two crabby kids (1 1/2 yr old and 3 yr old) trying to have a wonderful time. While my two kids were acting up, I told my mom I checked out and that I went to Hawaii.

What I didn’t reveal, is that earlier in the day while we were trying to eat lunch my 1 1/2 yr old woke up from his nap and wouldn’t stop crying. My husband said it was ruining his eating experience. So I got the little one out of his car seat but he was crying out of control and trying to get out of my arms. I finally poured cold water over his head so see if he would snap out of it. It didn’t work. My husband finally took him from me so I could eat my lunch.

Anon on

I hear you. We all have those days. It’s 8yrs staying home with my 2 kids. Mommy meltdowns and timeouts. Luckily for me, when my husband sees that “glazed-over look” I have on a bad day, he takes over after he gets home.

I mentally ‘clock-out’. Go out for an hour or two to get some peace and quiet. The kids are fed and bathed. He helps alot with the kids and chores in general.

Wendy on

Perfect!! I feel this exact way many days!

Virginia on

Oh honey, you DON’T KNOW what a “mommy breakdown” is until they are 16 & 17 then honey, come talk to mommy about a “mommy breakdown” and even THEN there is no time for a “mommy breakdown”. Ha ha, at 0-10 those are the GOOD years. You have no idea…….. (and I have “good” kids).

Theresa on

We all have those moments when we just want some peace and quiet, even if it’s 5 minutes. I have a 12 yr old and 8 yr old and I still have mom meltdowns 🙂

Lauren B on

God, I love you. TOO TRUE about the bathroom thing! I would print this out for my husband to read… but guess what? He probably wouldn’t.

I’ve got a two year old girl FULL of sass and demands, and I’m seven months along with a little boy. I don’t know how I’m going to do it! I already say that I am caring for two toddlers (husband and daughter) because nothing ever stays clean in my house unless it’s between the hours of 11 p.m. and 7 a.m. All the laundry, dishes, meals, dusting – everything pretty much goes unnoticed!

Us moms are thankless servants – not that I am complaining – I find everything I do for my family incredibly rewarding! I just wish that I could get those precious few minutes in between cleaning and my daughter waking up from nap time to read my entertainment magazines and relax.

Helen on

I remember oh so well those days! When my boys were younger, everything seemed to run smoothly UNTIL I went to the bathroom. All of a sudden, they needed me for every little thing. They are now 12 and 14 and they still seem to call out for me when I am in the bathroom (as does my hubby). I just tell them to wait and go back to my reading materials! I keep magazines and books in the bathroom now because I can lock them all out (LOL!).

My big problem time now is in the car. When we are all travelling on a long journey, I enjoy reading (it’s the one time now that I really get in a good long read). When the boys want something though, they always say “mum, mum, mum”. I am trying to train them (yes train!) to start with “dad, dad, dad” because he can talk and drive at the same time. I can’t read and talk though!

So, even though they are now much older, I still have to work on my reading time! 🙂

Me on

….lol my daughter ALWAYS sits outside the bathroom door and sings to me, she also pushes little toys under the door wiggles her fingers under there and says “can u see my fingers?”…..YES DEAREST

I try to remember when she is to old to do this I will miss it. Then I repeat the phrase…lol 🙂

Holiday on

I don’t know what you are talking about saying I “brag”. That is totally untrue. I just said in this post how sometimes at the end of the day all I want to do is cry because I am so tired and frustrated! If you think I am bragging about being a young mom that is not true at all, I just hate all the negatives people say about being a young mom. If anyone has a baby when they are under the age of 25 all kinds of nasty things get said so I point out the positives about being young and starting a family, that is not bragging! And I am sticking to it that caring for your cat and caring for your kids is totally different and really not even comparable. I have a cat. She is a nice cat, but she is just a cat and is pretty self reliant, especially when comparing the cat to my 15 month old and 5 year old.

atr on

You are the BEST! Thank you so much for eloquently sharing what we ALL feel at times, and kudos to you for recognizing when you need that time, and sometimes actually TAKING it! 😉 Hats off, Elisabeth!

sarap on

I have a pet and have two kids. Caring for pets is nothing like caring for kids. Are we so pc now we cannot even say this? Some people are not parents, so what. Why are they commenting in a blog about kids and then complaining people call them out for saying pet care is as hard as childcare?

OT: Eating like a homeless animal made me lol. So true. I scarf food down over the sink before baths and story time. Taking care of the kids is hard but well worth it. Good blog btw

Anonymous on

I can relate 100%. I have an 8 yo and 2 yo and they’re always coming to me for everything, even if their dad is home. Sometimes I just need a break so I tell them to go to their dad or I’ll tell him ‘the kids need you’. If it’s really crazy, I just tell hubby ‘I’m off the clock’ and leave the house for an hour or two. I only do this after

Mel on

this exactly why I love reading this blog…it is real!!! My kids usually pull the I want a snack when they can clearly see I am making dinner!! When my answer is no we will be eating in 20 minutes there response is either “I’m going to starve” or “you are so mean, I haven’t eaten all day”…I love the drama of preteens (I hate the word tween)!!

My husband is just as bad as the kids too, I love him but really can’t you see the food I am cooking & know it is 6:00pm & dinner is right around the corner, so why does he grab a bowl of chips & salsa & torture the kids???

Dear Elisabeth, Please keep writing your blog, I love every word you write & can relate to your everyday experiences…I think most moms can too. So thank you for baring your heart & soul 🙂

clk on

There is a bench under a tree in my front yard, I just started taking “mom” breaks each day outside and let the breeze flow through my hair and have some coffee or just veg out there and decompress it’s my special spot and it really helps!

Tdb on

I understand your pain. I am the mother of a soon-to-be two-year old. And I am exhausted.

The most recent continuous event that has me about to lose my mind? My lovely partner has been kind of enough to get our son up every morning so that i can lay in bed for a few minutes longer. However, the benefit is lessened when he brings our son right to our bedroom so my son can tell me, “I’m hungry, mommy. I’m hungry.” Could his father have given him a banana from the kitchen? Sure. How about a delicious muffin that I made this weekend expressly to be used for quick grab meals? One would think. But no. Delivering my son to the bedroom so he can crawl on top of me and tell me he’s hungry while im struggling to get my eyes open seems to be the preferred course of action.

Or how about when I come home from a long day at work and go into the kitchen to prepare dinner. I’m doing the best I can and as quickly as I can but I am about to drop everything and just leave the house. My son is standing outside of the kitchen telling me over and over and over that he’s hungry and wants to eat. My partner, who worked from home, wants to know what’s for dinner and when it will be ready because he’s hungry too. And I just want to ask him why, if he’s been home all day, he couldn’t start dinner or at least come up with an idea of what he wants to eat so he can help me out. Grrrr!

Kerri on

I know exactly what you mean. I only have 1 child but he has some issues that make life quite taxing over the long haul, especially the long days of summer while I’m trying to work (at home, no less) AND keep him occupied all day without the help of electronics.

As a result, at the end of the summer (this past weekend, as a matter of fact), my hubby puts me up in a nice hotel for a 3 night stay to recharge my batteries. I take my scrapbooking supplies, a few books, some bubble bath, and my harried nerves and I recharge. I get a fun movie on the hotel TV. I get room service for 1 glorious meal (I take premade salads and microwaveable foods for the rest of the meals). I take a few sumptuous forbidden snacks. I put the do not disturb sign on the door and I don’t leave that room.

It is so nice and I love my husband even more for this time he gives me. (And using one of those bid for the room hotel sites, we usually get a really good deal on the room, too. This past weekend, I stayed in a room an an Embassy Suites for half the regular price per night!)

So I know we all understand what you’re talking about, Elisabeth. Any primary child caretaker has experienced the Mommy Meltdown (whether they’re the Mommy or not) and recharging is the only answer. So go get that room and relax!!

Lindsey on

Trying doing it as a single parent with no backup. My ex husband left when I was 6 months preggo. I have my mommy breakdowns all the time but be thankful if you have someone to help you out.

Cayce on

I have 15 children and 12 are still at home between the ages of 12 and 5. Needless to say, it can be busy at times. I try and take my breaks when I can but I often complain to my husband that everytime I close the bathroom door or answer the phone everyone needs something. They often want some object or a disagreement broke out and they ned me to solve things immediately. I have often looked forward to my children’s bedtime when I can be “off-duty” for a bit.

I also love reading that lots of people have this same desire for being themselves. My husnad and i are taking our first trip by ourselves in 20 years. One week…no children..no phone (international)…otehr people preparing my food and cleaning up after me…I plan to use the bathroom, with no interruptions and enjoy 21 quiet meals that I don’t have to prepare. Then, I plan on coming home and enjoying the blessings my children have to offer. We shouldn’t feel guilty about taking time for ourselves because while you can appreciate silence you can also appreciate the noise, laughter and joy that is your children.

Thank you so much for posting sucha timely message and a great reminder. If we don’t take time for oursleves we won’t hav ethe energy, patience and endurance it takes to complete our journey happily.

Stacey on

Love ya girl! Oh how I go through the guilt about why I am craving alone time! My husband does help tremendously and still I am feeling the need for a glimpse of my life before my kids (3 and 2 yrs old). If I could just get in a movie, read a book, go shopping for me, get a massage, get a pedicure, and on and on and on. These things are all glimpses of the past and every blue moon do find their way into a day in the life of toddlers! But I long for more and am beginning to forget what a night out feels like, even WITH my hubby.

It’s refreshing to read that we are all in the same situation and to know you are not alone, is the greatest gift. I am already able to smile knowing you are all out there and I am grateful! So I just want to praise all of the MOMS out there and ask for blessings for each of you to find that special time that you need and help the hubby to acknowledge your need and help you to achieve it!!!! Go girls!!!

Brigitte on

Wooooowwwwwwww I can so relate. My youngest son is 5 yrs old already and still runs into the bathroom when I’m having my moment or even showering. Oh and if he hasn’t had his shower believe me when I say he’ll hop on in my shower within seconds and won’t take no for answer.

He’s always in my bed all of them try to sneak in during the middle of the night ( I have 3 boys ages 12,9, and 5). sometimes I try to let the baby fal asleep then pass him over to his bed all to no avail. I’ll wake up and find him sleeping by my feet lol! Gotta love them!!!!!! But I could soooo use a mommy VACATION!!!!!!

Judith on

Just got back from a 3 day trip with the hubby, sans 4 year old son and 20 month old daughter. First time ever leaving the kids – it was bliss! Highly reccomend some adult get away time for every parent out there. Doesn’t matter where you go, like Elisabeth said – it’s just time to read, eat, do ANYTHING that doesn’t involve being responsible for anyone but yourself. Aaahh…

Alketa on

Hahaha that’s me. I read almost all the comments.Thank a lot Elisabeth!

I have a 12 yr old and 6 yr old daughters with very different personalities.I try very hard to make some time for myself. They are always asking for smth, and yes even when i am in the bathroom or talking on my cell. Did i say that daddy is worse than the kids?? …he calls me mommy sometimes and it gets on my nerves…

Katie on

Being a single mom, I know al too well about “mommy meltdowns” I love my children dearly and would not trade them for the world, but I would love to have a moment to myself once in awhile. I have a 10yr old and a 7yr old and still can’t take a shower or got to the bathroom without being interrupted! I love my boys, but a vacation would be great! 🙂

Bridgett on

Elisabeth, I am there with you girl! Most nights I fall asleep with my little girls (ages 6 and 2), as they always want to cuddle in “the big bed.” I haven’t pooped by myself in years, except early in the morning (TMI, sorry). If it isn’t the kids it’s the dogs, cats, or my lovely but whiny husband needing something from me. I work full-time as a nurse, and after a 12-hour shift, the moment I get home I am “on duty” for the kids because my husband has “had them all day.” I get NO time off, which stinks.

Except occasionally I take myself to the movies (Harry Potter! Chick Flicks!) or the nail salon. Sometimes I even have lunch or drinks dates with girlfriends, which are tremendously restorative. I am dreaming of a few days away with my husband for alone adult time (New Orleans, yeah baby!) — it’s been over 3 years since the last time we had alone time.

Thanks for this blog, it helps to be reminded how much we moms have in common. And that we’re all part of a sisterhood, or club. Good to know I’m not alone, much as I LOVE being a mommy and wife.

smartiemouth on

I don’t think I gave my kids a bath for two years. My husband would come home and he would take over so I could clean up, go shopping or run next door to my mother and father -in-laws’ and just ahve some peace.The kids were 6,4,2 and 6 months at the time. I think lack of sleep was also part of the problem. My then 2 year old pushed a chair up against the sink while I was taking a quick nap with the 6 month old and I awoke with this loud banging noise. I rushed to the kitchen to find my two year old in the sink. He had turned on the garbage disposal and there was a knife spinning around. Needless to say I haven’t slept since. It’s always the third child that will make your hair stand on end!

Cindy on

I have got to stop reading these comments. I can’t believe people actually compared having pets to raising children. OMG.

Marisa on

I so needed to read this post. I have been having a meltdown for what feels like the greater part of the past two days. Between children, husband, dog and household duties, I am done like dinner. I actually told my neighbour and fellow mommy that I wanted to quit my job today and skipped pages in my kid’s bedtime story, just so I could be done with it…I felt like garbage for doing it, but I need to stop and collect myself…errr reclaim my sanity. It makes me feel so much better knowing that I’m not the only mommy feeling this way. Right now the house is quiet and I am enjoying a nice glass of red wine along with some of my kids cookies…bed is next and it’s only 8:15 p.m.

loveit on

OMGoodness! Even though my daughter is now married and living 4000 miles aways with her military husband…I can remember days like this like it were yesterday. Locking myself in the bathroom with a bag or tortilla chips a diet coke and just decompressing…..Thank you for this very very funny and human blog.

Marissa Natassya on

I could totally relate to that, Elisabeth. I am a Mom to two boys aged 5 and 2 and now I’m four months pregnant. I’m an Indonesian born and bred so I’m still totally not used to the way of life in America. My mom even already hired a helper to nurse me when I wasn’t even born yet. She could never understand what I’m going through, doing it all alone.

I guess sometimes we just need help. Thankfully, I have my still single younger sister here whom I could force to help me. My husband being a businessman has to travel rather frequently overseas and it does not help either. However, I’m glad and super thankful to have such a wonderful helping and hands-on husband whenever he’s at home, he’s always helping me and trying to make me feel better. He has agreed to cut down his traveling routine and we decide that we would ask my younger brother to take care of the business in Indonesia and would ask his older sister to take care of the business in Europe.

I’ll be hiring 2 full time housekeeper in the end of the year when we would move into a much more bigger house. I guess without help with 3 kids, a husband and 3 dogs I would just die alone chocked with hershey’s in my bathroom. Jesus

Nicole on

I can have my mommy meltdown in 10 years, when he turns 18 and goes away to college.

Until then, since it’s just the two of us I have to suck up and deal with it, without complaint. Because if I don’t, there’s no one else there to pick up the pieces…and I won’t do that to him.

mama mia on

Eating like a homeless animal cracked me up – mostly because that described my every meal. I work f/t and my husband is away for work A LOT so I totally “get it”. The mommy-meltdowns are all too near and not so deear to my heart. I love my daughter more than life itself but man, sometimes I just want to text someone, or answer a phone call, or pee!
And having once had 4 animals and no children – it doesn’t even compare – sorry! One child is about 1000 times more work than those 4 “furbabies”.

Banana on

Holiday – not everyone is lucky enough to be able to have children. After 2 years of fertility treatments, tons of money, and failed IVFs, having furbabies is all we can have. We have 3 dogs and a cat. I don’t believe anyone means to imply that having pets is the same as having children, but they do cost a fortune, they do take a lot of energy and they do take a lot of time; these are the same demands children place on you. You are lucky you have children, I wish I could have been so lucky. But since – for whatever reason – that was taken away from us, we are doing the best we can with what we have. And if the only love we have to give is to our pets, then we are going to make their lives as rewarding as we can. It doesn’t make us less worthy of melt downs than people with kids. I’m sure you didn’t mean to be insensitive, but consider next time that not everyone with only furbabies is by choice.

Leah on

I love the Blog….too too funny! All Mommy’s know how you feel, even those with just animals. It took my husband and I (well God really) 7 years to have our son (we lost our first). In the meantime I had the most awesome lab in the world. He along with my husband could send me into fits though!!! Since when has your child just pooped on the floor in front of you to get attention!!! Or gotten in the trash and spread egg shells, coffee grinds, and used tampons all over the house.

My son is 5 and I love him more than life itself. He too can make me lose it…today on the way to school I stopped to get gas and coffee. I told him he could come in to pick a drink. He wanted candy and was told no. He was mad and kept scooting away from me to try to sneak down the candy aisle, so I grabbed his shirt by the arm and pulled him closer to me. I never even touched skin but He then started to scream “you pinched me mommy and it hurts real bad” crying hysterically!

Kids, Dogs, Parents, Husbands….we ALL need a break every once in awhile. While I can’t afford to do more than read a few pages of my book after everyone has gone to bed, those few minutes sure do help me to calm down. Don’t be mean to the people that have animals and no children. You can love an animal just as much as you love a human being. I would have killed for my Dog! And they can also add to your daily stress.

People who don’t have kids usually want them pretty bad and it is really hard for them to hear people complain about their kids that they probably didn’t have to try for and then tell them that they have no right to feel the way they do. Before I was blessed with my son I hated it that everyone else I knew got pregnant so easy….then complained about it!!!! Just hoping more people will understand where the “Furbaby Parents” are coming from!

Kat on

I am an (as yet) child-less, grown up daughter of a mother who instilled this notion in my sister and I (and our dad) when we were young…she would take time for herself every day – even if it was just 5 minutes. She said it kept her sane, and her good mental health = our good health and well-being. I would like to applaud you for speaking about this, and actually acting on it.

My father died when I was 11 and my sister was 7, and my mom became a single parent, who had to also return to the work force full time to support the family…and then come home and be a full time mom (and that is about a million jobs rolled into one)- talk about STRESS.

If my sister and I didn’t tow the line (do our chores, homework, etc.), our mom would simply go “on strike” – she would make dinner (until we were old enough to do it ourselves) but then she’d take her dinner plate into her room, close the door, put up an “ON STRIKE” notice and not come out for at least an hour.

Believe me, we got the lesson loud and clear!

Mom’s, I salute you – you are the glue that holds us all together.

CCK3 on

My son is now 19 years old and I can relate tremendously to all moms who have gone through this as I have always worked full-time and I have spent the last 15 years being a single mom. When my son became a little more independant, I began giving myself “Mommy Time Outs” which meant that after I picked him up after school (and later on when he was old enough to walk home by himself), I would tell him that I was going into my bedroom for half an hour and unless the house was on fire or if he was missing a limb, I was not to be disturbed for thirty minutes.

In my room, I would change out of my work clothes and put on my sweats or pyjamas and just decompress. After that half hour was up, I would feel more refreshed and geared into making dinner, helping with homework and having some family time after a busy day. That half hour made a HUGE difference and a calmer mom made the night ahead go alot smoother.

Now it’s funny that when my son comes home from work, he will tell me almost the same thing ie: “hey Mom, I just need half an hour to decomp.”

Lailonna on

@ MA momma .. I am in the same boat you are. My husband is a computer gamer and is on there all day and night. From the time he gets home from work till he decides at 4 AM that is enough and comes to bed. He tries to be all lovey at that time and I just want to punch his lights out. He doesn’t seem to understand that I was just about 3 times before with our daughter and him coming to bed when I was just myself getting back to sleep.

I too have two children who need mummy 24/7. My daughter is more in my face than my son, but still I don’t have any alone time until I go to bed at 9 PM and even then sometimes I don’t get that either. So all the mummys out there that really have hubbys like mine, I can totally relate. If I ask for help, it is in a minute, make that an hour from when I asked and by then everything is all done. IT DRIVES ME NUTS!! Even for him to have a dinner with us at the dinner table, his gaming takes president over us.

Jillian on

I did not write what is listed above. I, Jillian, have not been on this page in a long time. Been in the hospital actually. Decided to come on today to relax and read and I see another Jillian wrote that message. Maybe that’s her name……maybe not. I am betting it’s psycho Molly impersonating me. Either way, wanted you to know it wasn’t the Jillian usually on here.

Kimberly on

AMEN SISTER!!! ALLELUIA!!! Someone who gets it and understands. There are days that I really wish the Calgon bubble would take me to a place where everything is serene and quiet!!! Hang in there and have solace you’re not alone. Glad to know my children also haven’t given me PRIVACY in the restroom in three years and counting…big ugh!!! But Girlfriend you’re not alone and US MOMMIES NEED TO STICK TOGETHER!!!Thank you for keeping it real…

Terri on

Thanks for writing this…I am SO there right now!!

queen on

I have one child, a husband and full time- outside the home- job. I know mommy meltdowns like the back of my hand. THANK YOU!!! Thank you for letting it be ok to have them, not being afraid to admit it and thank you for you humor in the situation. There are times, people make you feel guilty for mom moments like this. There are times I am seriously waiting for my head to spin around and backwards latin come spewing from my mouth…so to know I am not alone in my “OMG I 30 mins” moments,is a relief. Thank you for being so honest about real life.

Tess on

My very first Mom meltdown was just under nine years ago when one of my babies (then a 3-month-old twin — now 9 years old) started to cry. The infant need was a perfectly normal communication from a baby. It was that three hour “I need some food/sleep/diaper change” cycle that just knocked me down finally. I think my brain really did melt a little because I just froze in my living room and my feet couldn’t move (even though a baby was crying and asking for a parent) and I started to cry myself.

I think many parents can relate to that 90 day mark — you are at your most exhausted (you don’t know the schedule is just about to improve!). I think, inside my head, I was suffering from an incredulous case of “WHAT?!” “I just did this 90 minutes ago and it just keeps repeating!” I think the way it felt at the time was that whatever I did an hour and a half before must have just not worked because here was a baby needing me again, into INFINITY! I really snapped, evidenced by my glued to the floor feet.

I went into my bedroom to fetch my sleeping husband how somehow knew this was no normal meltdown. He called in sick that day, we went on a warm, Fall, stroll with our babies, had coffee together at a local spot, and I enjoyed both his company, but the help of caring for only one baby at a time! I was much better!!

I know my example probably gives Moms and Dads of “singletons” little to use for help on Mom meltdown because it might be hard to relate to having TWO at once. But the take-home to any parent is GET SOME HELP, even if just for minutes and day! After that I hired a local teen to come to my home during my husband’s work hours — for two hours, only twice a week, (which was all I could afford). She held a baby, played with both for a short time — while I also hid in the bathroom, and sometimes helped with folding laundry. I have to say: I don’t know how single parents do it!!!!! (my hat off to you!)

I have NOT solved the “why are you in the bathroom” syndrome yet. My five year old (kid #3) still does it but I’m working on that. My dog knows better!!!!! Cheers, Tess

Birdie on

I am at home all day with a 5 and 7-year-old. I try to wake up extra early in the morning so that I am not bombarded while taking a shower by two kids (who will usually start fighting) and a 50 pound dog.

Luckily, they’re at the age that if I hear knocking while in the bathroom, I can say “door shut, lights on! Your problem can wait!”

Monica E on

Wow, I can totally relate to this! I was actually able to take a shower by myself the other day and I enjoyed it so much! I thought to myself, “How sad is it that I can get so much enjoyment out of just being able to shower alone!” How I wish those moments happened more often! Ha ha!

Stacy on

OMG!!!I am having one of those days today. My parents are flying in today and my mom is MONK. Such an OCD cleaner. My 2.5 year old is in a dumping mood. I clean, she destroys. After playing this game all morning I called my mom and said, My house looks like crap, you will have to deal with it. I am not bending over to pick up one more damned thing. I need a shower and since I am home alone with Kate, I know I will have company in there too. OOOO Girl’s night tomorrow with Tammy is going to be so fun.

kimmie on

Wait til you have to add homework to all of that. Eeeeeek!

Tenille on

As I am reading this and having a mom melt down my son comes over and says what’s for lunch (this is promptly after finishing breakfast). SERIOUSLY, is there any time alone? Great to know I am not the only one. 🙂

Becker on

I’m a mom of 3 and a stepmom of 4, work full time, have 2 dogs, a cat, and keep the house together. Meltdowns are a common part of my life. I used to feel like a failure because I needed “me time” and none of my other parent friends ever mentioned it. It seems like it’s the taboo of parenthood. Now, however, I realize how much better I am for taking that time, even if it’s only an hour a week, where temporarily my name is not “Mama”.

I was a single mom for 8 years, and it was tough doing it all on my own. But once a week, usually on Sunday afternoons, I would hire a sitter and go read at Barnes and Noble for an hour. Now that I’m remarried, my husband sometimes removes his invisibility cloak and takes the kids off my hands. Otherwise, they shoot right past him on their way to ask me to get them something, to fix something, to find something…how do they not see him sitting right there?

I would not trade my life as a mother for anything. I fully embrace it: the tantrums (mine and theirs), the exhaustion, the worry, the gnawing anxiety that I’m not doing it right, and the joy, the wonder, the random hugs and spontaneous kisses. I love it all. I just love it more some days than others.

Erika Mussey on

where do i begin im the mom of 5 and the stepmom of 2,gavin is 2 jake is 3 aiden is 4 lola is 5 becca is 5 lillianna is 11 and andrew is 17….i do get showers alone but going to the bathroom..like why do they need to talk to me then so my rule? unless u are bleeding uncontrollably u do not bother me the bathroom its my office i tell them. i take mommy time outs sometimes in there if im ready to pull out my hair i take my people magazine in the bathroom sit on the side of the tub and tell the kids i have tummy cramps that stears them away haha and i sit there for 2 or 3 minutes then someone cries and i go see what happened but those 2 min of people magazine is my sanity…

Beck-a-la on

I was laughing and crying while trying to read this! About half way through my daughter came over, shut the laptop and took my hands to drag me away to some serious game of pretend. Motherhood is constant sacrifice! But, also a joy!
The other day I clearly didn’t take the break I needed and the following conversation ensued:

Me: I’m sorry I lost my temper.
My daughter: Oh, where did it go?

She makes repentance much easier. 🙂

Dinah on

Here’s your wake up call. You can’t do it all. Hire a qualified babysitter three days a week for a couple of hours. Where you can go and do something for yourself. The third day go on a date with the fiancee. No offense but he needs to take some responsibility. Since this is your only child you should enroll them in play time with others for a few hours a week. I did and my son is well adjusted, high honor roll. This time management makes me a better mother.

JTD on

I absolutely loved this blog and all of the comments. This is one of the first times I’ve felt like I’m not the only mom who doesn’t love “being Mom” 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Whenever I tell a friend or co-worker that somedays I just need a vacation alone, they look at me like I’m crazy or a bad mom just for thinking it. So glad to know I’m semi-normal.

Luckily, I have a husband that completely understands, as he has had his share of Daddy meltdowns too. We work opposite schedules so that our kids don’t have to be in daycare. Me in the morning and him at night. My daughter even told her school class that the one gift in the world her Mommy would love for Xmas is “peace and quiet”. Awesome. Hang in there everyone!!

Tammy on

I have five children ages 11 to 4 and let me tell you – I gave up on privacy years ago!! I also teach kindergarten! I absolutely love my children -all of them – home and school but I would love to escape some nights and run away to a hotel to be alone!! My 7 year old asked when I was ever going to drink my ‘special pop’ in the fridge since New Year’s Eve and I had to say I just don’t have time. LOL

I tried to go to bed early ,early the last couple of nights and let’s see…last night Hudson and Matthew decided to flip on the light and bounce on my bed to tell me about a new friend and that they were thirsty. They actually passed the kitchen to get to my room. Then my husband came to bed and I said where is the baby? He goes, What he can’t stay up a while and play? I said, Alone??!! No!!! I had to get up and get everyone in bed while my husband lay in there playing fruit ninja on his iPad. LOL

AAAGGGHH. But, I wouldn’t trade any of them for anything in the world. I love them with all my heart and soul!! But once in a while it would be nice to eat, sleep, and pee without an audience. LOL

tropicdepression on

Although I don’t have children, I do have step kids and grand kids. I set up a deal with my daughter-in-law. One day every other week,I go over at 7:00 a.m. and stay till her husband comes home. She can go out, stay in,take a two hour bath, have a glass of wine for lunch, whatever she wants, but the kids know it’s Grandma’s day and that it’s my privilege to be the go-to one for that day. If you can afford it, you might want to hire a one-day-a-week “nanny” or maybe exchange running errands for someone for child care for a day. My daughter-in-law swears this has saved her sanity more than once, and I love it!!

mice_j on

this is exactly how i felt today.. a complete mom meltdown! i breathed a BIG (and i mean big) sigh of relief when my little boy FINALLY went to bed. im so glad i got to read this blog, to know im not alone.

Becca on

I can SO relate… I have a 21 month old (who is extremely high energy) and an 8 week old. And a 29 year old – that’s my child/husband – or so it feels like. I LOVE doing fun things for my family… but I like to have people do fun things for me too… it doesn’t even have to be fun. Just find something for yourselves to do and give me some peace.

I’m back to work on Tuesday after 8 weeks of maternity leave, so it’s bound to get worse before it gets better… but a girl can dream. The husband at work, and both boys are napping. The house is a disaster and the laundry piled up… but I think I’ll take a nap. I feel so guilty… but I’m going to do it anyways… for my sanity.

Anne on

I loved reading your blog!!! I am currently a full time student, mom, and wife! I have 3 children ( one is a teen and the other two are 10 and 8 ) between trying to clean house, make sure homework is done and the kids are fed and bathed it can be exhausting! I laughed so hard when I read your blog because it took me back to when I was ready to just blow up and go on a vacation without telling anyone just so I could have my alone time :).

Now, it doesn’t even get to that point. If my kids start yelling Mmmmmoooooooooommmmmmmm i yell back their name until they come up and ask me for something. When they ask and I feel it is something they can do I just mimic the question back until they get it(I usually laugh at this point in time). I understand they cannot do everything but I refuse to do everything when they can do it or my hubby help out and do it. Sometimes, I yell out their name and when they come to me I will say “Oh, I just wanted to see if you were going to come”. They get upset but they realize when they call me it should be important.

My mom used to do the same thing to me and my four sisters. We quickly realized if we could do it, it was better to do it than waste our mothers time. Every now and again my mom will call and say,” Oh, just wanted to see if you were home” and hang up. I still laugh so hard it brings me to tears because now I completely understand why she did what she did.

Alex on

As I read your blog, I have realized I am normal. I was starting to wonder. In a world where us mothers are trying to LOOK NORMAL…..inside my head something was telling me I was not. You have almost described a day in my life…..As the Mother of a seven year old boy and four year old twins, I can’t wait for them to turn 6, so I can lock the bathroom door. I still don’t have that luxury, being a Single Mom. My issue is I have only been raising them alone for the last months..and I have to be the Disciplinarian one minute, and the Fun parent the next…. and put my daughter on timeout, while I am hugging the other twin who just got a bubu.

I decided to make financial decisions and compromises… and not work, and just be a stay at home Mom this year, in order to Be here for them in this period of change. I thought it was going to be Better….However, I was questioning that decision until I read your Blog. IT IS OK. IT is normal, It is called Being a Mother. A caring Mother. If we did not care, we would not feel so guilty.

My Mommy Meltdown moments are often. My kids call it the Witch Mom. When they see my face ….they tell me…”Mom…ok ok…we will behave…Witch Mom is about to show up” I found it disrespectful at first….but now I even think It helps…a It is a waring that I am LOOSING my patience, and I just take a minute and BREATH…and try to find solutions, other than “GO TO YOUR ROOM”. Which, by the way, does not work anymore. In between School, swimming, dance, robotics, basketball, I have no time, and with no help from husband, the one who has to do it is ME or ME.

I feel blessed with friends, actually, lucky as they are playdates, but us Mothers are GOod friends. As my children’s Father used to say, I am “ALlergic to exercise”….I am aware I need to find something to have a me time. THat was work…as it used to include traveling and that was my breather. I love massages and movies…and I miss those. At least somewhat….

Therefore, I have started to Improvise ME TIME,,,,with my current resources..as:

PLAY SPA NIGHT…Where we put candles in my bedroom…and my daughers give me a massage…but they are not allowed to speak during the massage is over. Payment is usually in the form of a candy. THEY LOVE IT…and I get at least 30 minutes of bliss…and silky skin!! THe only down is that I have to sing Happy Birthday to every single candle I light UP!!!

SATURDAY SCARRY MOVIE NIGHT. Popcorn and hot cocoa..in the sofa bed in the living room. .THe one rule…we are not allowed to speak, ijust like at the theater….and I pick the movie…THey have watched a couple of REALLY SCARY ONES..which are my favorite.. …as jurassic park…but since they KNOW FOR SURE THAT EVERYTHING ON TV IS NOT TRUE….they don’t make much of it, and are not traumatized. ( I hope and pray)…

For now its my life, I embrace it, I THank God everyday the are in my life, and I feel good when I know others are struggling like I am…as It makes me feel like I AM NORMAL. IT IS OK. THEY WILL GROW UP SOMEDAY. AND Hopefully, they will remember what I have done for them and not send me to a Retirement home at 60!!!

Stacey on

I don’t have kids, but I think just by being female, we all have meltdowns because to many want us to do everything, and sometimes we just don’t feel like it!

lillith on

My kids are grown now 28 and 30. I remember sitting in the bathroom once when they were small, and my son, 4 or 5 standing outside the door, knocking and knocking and knocking – Mom,Mom,Mom,Mom,Mom. And me – in a minute, in a minute, go away, in a minute, go away…Just 5 minutes…

You will look back at these times, and it will seem like it happened so fast, even though now it seems to you like it will never end.

Try to really live in the moment, enjoy the chaos, really…force yourself to enjoy the chaos, because this too shall end. It WILL end. All too soon, and you will never have these moments back.

Mary Beth on

I am sitting here bawling my eyes out after reading that blog.

I just had the exact day she is describing.. I have 7 year old, a 1 year old, a husband, and I am 4 months pregnant.

I am so tired and so run down and SO desperate for some time alone to just recharge, I daydream all the time about a night alone in a hotel, with room service and a good book and a long bath…

Today it just all came to a head when my husband made me feel like I don’t do enough, (including a comment about how playdates with other moms and children count as “my time”.) I just broke down and two minutes later came across this blog.

I am so happy I’m not alone, but I often feel like I am.

Being a mom is such a tough, thankless job.. I wish people understood how much it takes out of us.

Joby McLaughlin on

My 3-year-old: “Mom, what are you doing?” Me: “I am cleaning up the ketchup that you just finger-painted with all over the walls.” Her: “Why?”

Julie on

AMAZING post(s)! I felt like I was the only one who was going to just LOSE it lately! And I only have a thirteen-month-old! But I was returned to work this week and I have cried about something every day. Reading this and everyone’s responses have me feel so much better. Not that I want others to be miserable, but because now I know that my feelings are normal. Thank you 🙂

WinDee on

I LOVED, LOVED…your blog!! The comments from other moms are so refreshing to me!! We are not alone!!! My favorite part about when you lock the door to the bathroom is when you see little fingers under the door…MMMOOOOMMMMMM!!! Haha!! I’m a wife, mother of 4, part time graveyard shift worker and full time student! I definitely can relate to the meltdown!!

Good luck to you!! Good luck to all you other mom’s as well!! We all are rockstars!!

Amber on

I loved reading this because I’m in the middle of a mommy meltdown right now. I have a 7 month old and 5 days after I had him I went into congestive heart failure, then as soon as I went back to work I was laid off and have become a stay at home mommy. As my husband complains at the end of the day while he sits in his recliner, about how long his day was I am still on my feet making dinner, cleaning up after, making bottles so I get a little more sleep because my son still gets up 4 times a night, and maybe if I’m lucky I get to bed before midnight. Then he springs on me 3 days before that he invited his entire family to come over for dinner. I feel ungratful sometimes when I’m tired and just want 1 hour of quiet because I am blessed to even be here with them. It’s nice to know that I am not alone.

Karen on

“The toddler/preschool season: The longest days and the shortest years”. I remember my brain feeling like a bowl of jello at the end of the day when I had a 1 year old and a 4 year old. One child approaching me with an empty juice cup. The other saying, “Mommy, I have a joke. What color is grass? Green!!” There were many such “jokes” during that time. You try to laugh politely, but you really need alone time and you really need to talk to another adult sometimes!

Now my “babies” are 12 and 15. The fifteen year old is occasionally coaxed out of his locked bedroom to talk – usually at supper time. Believe it or not, one day you’ll wish – if only for a few minutes or so, to be able to pick up your toddler, twirl them around and kiss them on the cheek.

Mommy on

Thank You SOOOOOOOO much for this blog!! I have had a total mommy meltdown week!

I have a 15 month old daughter,2 puppies, and a very needy hubby. I totally relate to not being in the bathroom alone, I don’t even know why I close the door anymore, all the babies come in before I can even shut it. And shower, I forget the days when that was a private time, my daughter has figured out how to open the door and joins me clothes and all! Even when I go to work my daughter comes with me which don’t get me wrong I wouldn’t have any other way, but its hard when she is with me 24/7 and daddy can’t even watch her so I can shower in privacy.

I’ve had 3 hair appoitments and 2 nail appointments that have had to be canceled because no one could watch the baby and I am almost to my breaking point. I am going to have to call the big guns in, Grandma 911 to the rescue, hopefully she won’t bail on me too :)I’m so glad to see I’m not the only one in need of a little quiet time.

I love being a mommy, it is the most amazing thing in the world but just a 15minute break would be nice. Maybe when she gets older…

Taunya Curry on

I am an only child. I have two children of my own. I have a 19 yr. old daughter and a 16 yr. old daughter.

Also, I am now the full time caregiver of a 3 yr. old granddaughter. My oldest, her mother, has moved out and awaiting her own apartment. While she is out there trying to get herself together, I am taking care of her daughter full time. It has been a very long time since I have had to get up, before work, and get another person ready for school. On top of all this, I have arthritis and fybromyalgia, so, at times, it can be challenging.

From the time we get up in the morning until I drop her off at preschool, all I hear is “Nana, Nana, Nana, Nana”. Then when I leave work to pick her up until bedtime, all I hear is Nana, Nana, Nana, Nana. I love her to pieces, but there have been times that I have just wanted to run outside, throw myself on the ground and just kick and scream.

Oh, and believe me, I know exactly what you are talking about when it comes to no privacy in the bathroom. Whether it is to use the pot or take a shower, all I am hearing is Nana, Nana, Nana, Nana. My girls are the joy of my life but there are those days that I just want to run away.

Lydia on

Please take the time (every 3 months) to set boundaries on your time and chores. Do this proactively — before you have your meltdown. Be the loving CEO of your family and don’t allow yourself to get stretched too thinly across activities, chores, etc. You are obviously a wonderful mother, wife, and pet owner– setting boundaries will help establish a routine of boundaries. And it’s the most loving thing to do for your loved ones; teach them to care for themselves and to set boundaries in their future relationships.

Caroline on

Seriously, mommys never get sick days, and how many times do I have to tell my husband whether or not the dishes in the dishwasher are dirty or not. I mean is it THAT hard to look. When you ask my little girl what different animals say and she tells you, when you ask her what daddy says, she says “Honey” and what Mommy says is “What, What?!”

Adriana on

Thank you sooo much again for the read! I don’t know how many times I’ve read your blog and can relate. It has to be said and it’s so true! Every one of us mom’s needs a little peace & quiet from time to time, space, some privacy… especially in the bathroom! Lol!

Hope you got yours!

Pkr on

Ha! I’ve contemplated faking sick so I could just lay in bed all day. Then I remembered moms aren’t allowed to get sick! Some days the first thing that I think about when I wake up is when I can go back to sleep!

Babs on

It never really ends, I haven’t had a private bathroom moment or a good night’s sleep in 10 years. I’ve taken to making announcements like “I’m going to the bathroom now give me 10 minutes.” Sometimes I just sit in my car, usually after I’ve driven around the corner. It’s always something being a mom, the greatest job in the world and the hardest. But when your kids give you a hug for no reason but that you’re mom, it’s all worth it.

rebecca on

as you say your alone time is at bed time mine is not as for why this is the reason i have a 5 yr old who has autism so i dont get the break at night cause he is up all hours of the night. my alone time is when my 2 kids are in their room and i was reading a good book

Sasha on

Thanks for such an honest, refreshing entry! I love being a mom and a wife more than anything, but had one of these meltdowns you describe Friday afternoon. We recently moved cross country with our 2 year old daughter and my husband has been working long hours at his new job. Between our two pups, potty-training a toddler, freelance writing and cooking and cleaning I just needed FIVE minutes to myself – to pee, to brush my teeth to have a sip of iced coffee. I laughed out loud during parts of your blog..and nodded my head in agreement during other parts. Thanks for making me feel like I’m not alone on an “off” day!

Summer on

My two sisters and I had our babies two months apart from the other. One sister lives in the same town as me and we share a nanny. Our nanny was sick so I had to watch both kids that day, my son was 5 mos. And my niece was 7 mos. They needed my constant attention that day, normally they are fine by themselves.

Well this day I finally was able to heat up a bag of popcorn at 3p,( this is all I had to eat all day) my son was napping and my niece was now waking up. She was whining and I told her we needed to have a talk! I told her that she was lucky that she had someone to feed her when she was hungry and play with her. I don’t have anyone to feed me when I’m hungry and that she should let me have some peace.

She looked at me and put her hand on my shoulder like she understood! Haha, and I realized I was talking to a 7 month old and she had no idea what I was feeling!

Anna on

I was having the exact same day today after not having any privacy or time to myself since my daughter was born (the last 10 months). I freaked out on my husband whom I asked to do the morning routine so that I could sleep past 6 for once. I heard nothing but crying, rumbling, and noise downstairs, I couldn’t sleep and completely lost it.

I just want one day to be by myself, sleep as long as I want and do what I want w/out having to worry about others. It does make me feel better than I’m not the only one feeling this way. Thank you for writing this!

Midori on

My daughter is 13 & I still have mommy meltdowns! The last one was a week ago.

I had been asking her to clean her room (properly, not just hiding everything under the bed or in the closet & corners) for about a couple weeks. Each time she would sort of clean but not fully & I’d lightly scold her and take away privileges. Last Friday, she still had not fully cleaned her room & I came home to her sitting in front of the tv not even listening to a word I had to said. She then asked when I would take her to her friends house for a sleepover. I snapped!

I grabbed the remote, turned the tv off, marched her upstairs to her room, and stood in the doorway as I made her write down every single area that needed to be cleaned. Her list was even itemized down to “clean off the top of your dresser, nothing should be up there besides your clock, and jewelry box”, and “after the top of your dresser is cleaned, empty and organize your drawers individually. Each drawer should only contain one type of clothing unless it’s your undergarments drawer”. It took her 3 days to fully clean her room 10′ x 8′ room because of the pauses to read a magazine, or play with whatever toy she was putting away.

After me hounding her for 3 days in a row to do one task (and being grounded for a few days), you would think she’d be on her best behavior, but no. I asked her to do her daily chore of emptying the dishwasher and not only did I get a huff & a puff, but she tried to argue why it was so imperative she finish listening to the song on the radio (as if it would never play ever again), and she told me she’ll do it later that evening. Oh hell no is the only thing that went through my head.

I walked right over to the radio, turned it off, made her march downstairs to empty the dishwasher, and told her if I heard even one dish clank on anything she would also have to sweet & mop the floors!

I ended up in my bedroom with the door locked (which I never do) and sat there in complete silence for an hour. She tried to knock and and asked what she could do now that the dishes were put away, but all I could do was say “Mom needs some quiet time right now. As long as you don’t get on the tv, Wii, computer or phone, and you stay inside, I could care less. Just leave me alone until I come out”.

Best hour I can remember spending in who knows how long.

Shannon on

As a mother of 3 boys, all I can say is what an awesome blog! Thanks for putting it out there!!!

momof4 on

Love this post, Elisabeth!! I relate to every single word.

And @erica, we are living parallel lives and your complaints absolutely mirror my own. I have 4 kids whom I love dearly and completely, but the fighting between them is literally nonstop at times. It’s exhausting. And I’ve decided that you are really not in a good position to enjoy your kids fully while you are raising them….you’re too busy worrying about them, their homework, their activities, the groceries, dinner, the bills that need paid, the house that needs cleaned, your own job, and heaven help you if you have a husband who expects attention. I have all of the above and there are many days I’m not sure I can do it any more.

Posts like these, and the comments that follow, help reinforce that I’m not the only one who is overwhelmed a good bit of the time. Thanks for that. I’m learning to take some time for myself, not only because I need it but because I deserve it, as a person who is separate and apart from the wife and mother that I am the majority of the time. So looking forward to a few days away with some girlfriends at the end of this month!!

it's me on

When I feel the need for me time ( I have 3 teens) I have an “Off Duty” sign I put on the bedroom door and plug in the ipod!! It will get better!!

Crystal on

Reading this blog made me laugh. I so know how she is feeling. It is nice to see that I am not alone. I have three beautiful daughters, 8,7, and 11 months. The baby will actually be 1 in about 2 weeks. I love my girls to death. Also, I love my husband of 10 years dearly.

But I do have to take a shower or go to sleep just to get some peace. I take long showers on purpose. Not only am I a mom, I work full time, and go to school.

You know during the week it is crazy. I help with homework with the girls, do my homework for school, soccer practice twice a week, dance class one night a week. Oh yeah and work is in there as well.

Weekends consist of cleaning the house because you know there was not time during the week for that and after soccer and dance the house looks like a tornado has hit it. Doing the laundry, dishes, feeding everyone and making uniforms are clean and pressed for school for the week ahead. And the soccer games will begin shortly so there goes part of my Saturday’s.

It is a miracle I even have the time to comment on this blog, but my wonderful husband did help with the household chores today so that was nice.

My small moments of peace are in the restroom, the shower, and the short drive in the morning from the daycare to work which is like three blocks away.

I love my family more than life, however, mommies need a little peace every once in a while. You know just one day here and there.

Michelle on

I can so relate with the bathroom situation. I haven’t been in the bathroom without someone coming in for at least 13 years now. I have 3 kids ranging from 13 to 3 and I don’t ever get time to myself. When you tell someone you need time alone they look at you and say but you wanted to be a mom. Like that decision meant never having alone time again. Everyone needs a breather!

May on

I have been having frequent mom meltdowns lately. Being a full time mom, wife and working 40+ hours at a CRO for the past 19 months has finally caused me to snap. My husband, while very hands on, does not give our son baths, ready for bed, sooth hit terrors…I feel like an unappreciated slave!

Nana on

ahhh………..souds similar to the Nana meltdown. I work full time but take a day for all the grandkids to come over to give the mommies a break. The other day while I was in the bathroom, all 4 came in asking for apple juice. I looked at both 5 year olds, the 3 yr old and the 18 month old, and said “nana is about to go insane.” One of the 5 yr olds said “we can wait until you are insane.” and they turned around and left me alone for a couple minutes. But when I opened the door, there they were, “are you insane noe Nana?”
Yup………..what can I say.

Erica on

Sometimes I wish to get the flu because that is THE only way I can be left alone. For most of the day anyway! This honest post made me feel better. We all run to the bathroom for silence. I work because, well one, I need the money but also because tha the only way I can get adaily shower and two meals, and go to the bathroom anytime I want.

Indie on

I can’t decide if I am relieved by reading this because I finally realize I am not alone or terrified to think that I will continue to have mental breakdowns until my son goes to college.

A on

Elisabeth….I so enjoyed your mom meltdown blog and can totally relate to it! First off I want to say you are doing a fabulous job – but with that being said, you need a break every now and then to stay sane! I would love to go to the bathroom or shower without someone following me, knocking on the door, calling my name, or using the special key to unlock the door so they can get in (my husband – which means kids follow behind). And the thing is…..nobody in the house understands….they think I’m nutty when I start getting frazzled over not getting to pee for a minute without interruption! Motherhood is a priceless experience….but so is private time in the bathroom…LOL!!

Tara on

I have a mommy/wife meltdown e-v-e-r-y-d-a-y… sometimes more than once. I’m married, but sometimes I wonder if that helps me or hinders. My husband is there to play with the kids, but not much else. He is very quick to tell me, right when I’m in the middle of something, that our 1 yr old should have her diaper checked. He helped more with our son, now 4 years old, but NOTHING with our daughter, the 1 year old. He doesn’t discipline well, and sometimes even goes as far to say “honey! (our son) just (insert something awful).

You’d think I’d be relieved when he comes home from work so he can help watch the kids, but sometimes he goes into his home office to do other work and I’m STILL left alone to do everything. OR, he’ll play with the kids and then I’ll have an even WORSE mess to deal with afterwards, than had he not been involved. He’s always harping on me for not doing things in a more timely fashion when it comes to dinner or kids bedtimes, though perhaps if he’d be more help things might happen sooner.

So, sometimes having a “partner” isn’t such a blessing, sad to say.

I have NO time to myself… toilet, shower, laundry in the basement. There was a time when I could slip out to the store for a quick moment, but now my 4 yr old always want to tag along. He’s become very needy.

And forget bedtime… when I was in the hospital for a few days before I gave birth to my second child and my husband stayed at home with our son, it was “easier” for him to put our son to bed with him, rather than take the time to put him to bed in his own bed!!! Guess where our son sleeps now.

It’s been a year and a half of this. Having talks about bunkbeds has helped get him used to the idea of sleeping again in his own room, that now he’ll be sharing with his sister. (don’t bother making negative comments about how I should just kick him out of our room… that co sleeping is wrong, etc. I’m more angry with my husband for starting this, rather than the fact that he’s in our room, and I will get him out but not cold turkey).

And I will also be homeschooling.

I’m tired.

I’m desperately waiting for my daughter to sleep thru the nite without waking up.

I’m dreaming of my own space to sleep, which I’ll never have. There is something to be said for the olden days when wealthy to-dos wives/husbands had their own bedrooms.

I have no place to hide for 5 minutes… and there doesn’t seem to be a light at the end of the tunnel yet.

I’ve just rambled on a huge complaint… but I do so love my little ones… even while I slowly go insane.

look on

A new federal law just passed, the American China act: “A woman who is mother to a child under age four, whether born naturally or procured by means otherwise, who is in possession of all his/her senses as determined by a U.S.-certified pediatrician is forbidden from altering their existence to ‘woman who is mother of two children’ if it is recorded by this party in any legible, understandable format that they are physically and mentally prone to a meltdown when faced with the responsibility of one child.”

Lee on

Thank you.

Tahoe Mom on

Sorry to say it doesn’t get easier– I was trying to take a nice relaxing bath, 17 year old daughter walks in, no knock on the door, no excuses because of course why would mom want privacy, dogs scratch at the door and husband wants to know why the remote isn’t working. But the joys of being a mom overrule the lack of privacy and sleep!

Missy on

I have raised four boys, three are now in their late twenties and one is turning eighteen. The secret to not having meltdowns is to split the parenting with the father. (If available) If not then have a relative or friend help out so that you can have breaks. People have to also learn to split the household chores. If no other parent is available ask friends and family to offer a “services day” instead of gifts for birthdays etc. This worked wonderfully for me and my husband over the years!

Remember each person needs time away and make sure you take it. You’ll be alot happier and so will your children. This will eliminate the cold water over babies heads (which is actually abuse). Not criticising just hoping that people will take the time they need and ask for the help to avoid getting to that point. As others have pointed out some day you’ll miss all those days of children yelling Mom and needing you all the time. I know I miss them. Thank goodness for grandchildren! 😉

Erin on

I think her blogs are great. They’re so honest and raw. The only thing about this one is when she tends to go on about something for far too long. I have my “mom days”, and don’t we all? But really after about an entire page of venting and complaining, I wasn’t ready to hear an entire second page. It’s all about knowing when enough is plenty.


Thanks for this good read. I’m at work, was complaining of chores and God heard me by reading your article. It made me feel better, a while ago I felt like a momster coz before going to work I snapped on my little boy, bad mom:( I really feel guilty but I apologized already. Sometimes, we need to be reminded it’s just ok and it’s but normal to feel this way and the good news is, this too shall pass. As much as we want to be ready for it there will come a time that the momster in you will come out. I hope we will be mindful of it so we can learn how to control our emotions. Thanks Elisabeth! You’re my hero for today. Bless you and your loved ones!

Lisa on

When I worked full-time, I at least had some time with adults during the day. However, trying to get everything done with a toddler, dog and husband running around in the evenings was totally crazy. Now, I work one day a week. I go for six days straight without a “mommy break” sometimes and it’s crazy. So, as much as I hate working out I go to the Y and put my daughter in the kid room while I just pedal on the exercise bike and read a magazine. I also left my daughter with her dad for a few hours the other night and went to dinner with a few other moms. Everyone needs a break sometimes!

Lauren on

I think this is the most comments I’ve ever seen on a blog!

This week, in my struggle to gain some of my identity back, I declared my living room OFF LIMITS! I’ve always judged women who don’t let kids into the living room…until now. SORRY! I get it! I just want to have a few candles, some of my glass decorations on display, and my favorite throw blanket on the couch without having it thrown on the floor and juice spilled on it!

Meltdown Moms Unite!

Jenn on

I’ve been there! I have 5 year old and 3 year old girls, an aging pup who has always been “Mommy’s Boy,” and a military husband who works insane amounts of hours. I’m also in school full-time and try to do whatever I can to help out where needed. There are days I barely manage to sit down before I hear “MOM! MOMMY!” There are days I want to change my name and identity – Witness Protection sounds amazing! Luckily, I have a husband who understands and does what he can to give me a break. I live for my breaks….

With our first daughter, I thought I had to be Super Mom. I thought I had to do it all with no help. I had horrible post partum depression but I wouldn’t admit it. I had to do everything for our little girl and would ask for or accept help. I was mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted. I felt like a failure all the time and sunk further and further into despair. I needed sleep, I needed help but I thought I was failing if I had it.

Finally, my husband saw I needed a break and started insisting I sleep in on Saturday mornings. We were overseas at the time and his job was 24/7, 365, but he did what he could to give me those Saturday morning sleep ins. When we returned to the US and got pregnant again, he not only insisted I continue with our Saturday morning routine, but his job allowed it to be an all-day recharge session for me. It’s amazing what 24 hours of recharge does for your mental and physical state!

Every Saturday, I get to sleep in and recharge. My husband gets up with our girls and answers to their needs all day long. I don’t have to even remember I have children if I don’t want to, though of course, I’m thrilled to be a mama. I sleep in, get recharged, relax, read, watch guilty pleasure TV programs — just veg and relax. A couple of times a day, I get food and drink and spend time with the girls — usually watching a movie from the comfort of our bed (a big treat for the girls since our room is just for Mommy and Daddy). For dinner, we order in, barbeque, or go out to dinner. My husband takes care of bath, brushing, and bed for the girls while I indulge in a hot bath. After he tucks the girls in, my husband tucks me in and I blissfully sleep for the next 12 hours until Sunday morning when I give my husband the same sort of “recharge” day.

It may sound selfish and it may sound indulgent, but just that quiet 24 hours is enough to recharge me and prep me for the week ahead. I know how lucky I am to have a husband willing and able to do this — and think this up on his own! He’s amazing and I couldn’t ask for a better husband, partner, father, and friend. I can’t even begin to tell you how many of our friends have adopted recharge days.

Needless to say, I look forward to Saturday all week……!

Kelly on

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS BLOG!!! I can’t tell you how nice it was to read that and know that I’m not going crazy! I am most definitely having a mommy meltdown today! Some days it is definitely hard to find the balance between being a mom and having time just for you. I have a 3 1/2 year old, a 10 month old, my husband and our dog! Life is definitely busy, and finding time to yourself is definitely a rare occurrence! But we all need it, and I think my day is coming real soon!!!

Bernadette on

Instead of writing all of that to strangers while complaining about not having alone/away time from family, use that time as quiet time. You can write something as long as the Bible, so you had some time for yourself but you used it the wrong way. Get offline, parents!

Lorraine on

You can’t pour from an empty vessel! If you don’t take some time to yourself, there will come a point when you are no good to anyone!

Mark Allen on

I’m not a mother but I am a stay at home dad. I absolutely love my eight month old son, Eliot, but I’m having my own Daddy meltdown the last couple days. I’m tired, extremely irritable and crabby; I could use a day or two to decompress! As guilty as we all feel, it’s important for us to take some time for ourselves. In the long run, it will only make us better parents and spouses!

Read more about my life as a SAHD at http://lifelovemelody.tumblr.com

kat on

wow being a parent doesn’t sound fun at all! i wasn’t sure whether to have kids or not, but after reading this article and the comments, I think “no” is the answer.
kudos to all those who are parents!!

michellekeyes on

Oh I have SO been there! We have a rule in our house – when Mommy goes into the bathroom no one is allowed to bother me. Period. No knocking, no yelling through the door – I’m completely off limits until I come out. No matter how long that may take. And my spouse supports that by reminding the children that I am to be left alone. As crazy as it sounds, the bathroom has become a bit of a refuge (and oddly, a small comfort too). I also make sure that I regularly “steal” time for myself by going to my desk, putting on my headphones and letting everyone know they need to fend for themselves for a while. Whatever it is, can wait until I am ready to face them again. We all need a little time to ourselves and I don’t mind being selfish enough to claim what I deserve! Don’t be afraid to regularly let those around you know that it’s time for you to have some space to yourself and to delegate it. I usually try to do that on the weekends at the very least, because during the week is too busy and I’m too exhausted to do anything productive or useful for myself anyway. Good luck with finding some personal time – you’ve definitely earned it!

nony on

Hi Elisabeth I love your blog I read this post yesterday but today I was having a mom meltdown i have a 2 month old baby & I’m a sigle mom my son just can’t stop crying i spent all day feeding him & changing diaper & when I try to feed him he refuses to eat i just couldn’t stop crying he is so young & needs me but i can’t sleep & I wasn’t expecting motherhood would be so hard especially when you are the only one to handle everything & no one helps you I love my son more than life but i can’t leave him a few minutes i try but i get very worried thank for sharing your thoughts honestly , i loved reading all mom comments too it helps so much to feel you are not alone i guess its normal & to moms who have fur babies GoodLuck for you too 🙂

Melodic Mom on

I just had a mom meltdown (I have a 2 year old and 7 month old), so I told my husband I was going to the store to pick up some things, but I went to the Dairy Queen Drive-Thru and sat in my car, closed my eyes, and enjoyed a cherry shake. Ahhh!

Lisa on

Oh believe me, I have been there!!! I don’t always have the luxury of my husband understanding that I need some time to myself. Usually when I’m in a towering temper, he tells me to “Woosah.” Yeah, it doesn’t always work like that. I was taking a hot bath the other night and I specifically asked him to keep my 5-year-old out. So about 15 minutes into my bath, here comes my daughter, unlocking the door. 😮 How did she get in there?? I still don’t know!! It just bugged me and ruined the essence of my bath. I think we as moms don’t get enough time to ourselves, even when the kids are in school because we are running around doing other stuff. It makes me wonder when I am going to get the rest I need!!

Maris on

Holiday, you sound like anything but that. Your rambling posts are the posts of a petulant child. Life isn’t a stress competition. We are all stressed from this or that doing the best we can. Since no one is in anyone else’s shoes it makes no sense to try to compare.

Charlene on

I know that feeling all to well also. My kids were ten years apart and when daughter was born oh boy trouble in my house. Since this was my second child and my husbands first he thought I knew everything.

I can get peace now cause my daughter is now fourteen and I tell her to go do it for yourself because she needs to learn to be more self-reliant.

People also need to realize actors are people too. They put their clothes on the same way as everyone else. and especially professional moms who work and do everything else they need extra time to wind down

Men need to get off their butts and help, we women didnt make these children by ourselves.

Skye on

Elisabeth- I know this post is a little old but I have been there and I am there right in this moment right now!!

I run two businesses plus help my husband run his two. I also have 2 children one is 8 and one is 5. There is no me time anymore I can’t go to bathroom in piece can’t take a shower in piece I can’t even make it through one night without being woke up for more juice or a nightmare or something along those lines. I haven’t slept in what seems like since my first child was born. This is a regular occurance for me but I have to explain my frustration in today’s post.

Agghhh Halloween a time when our little children think they have a right to act like little goblins. I mean let’s face it we allow them to dress like anything they want during this time of year. Let me set the scene… so my daughter who is 5 decides she wants to be Tinkerbell for Halloween (of course one week before Halloween). I have asked for months what she wants to be and as a child she has named everything under the sun and back again. Now I told her you have to tell me and can’t change it because Halloween is next week. Okay fine she says I want to be Tinkerbell. I was ecstatic, overjoyed if you will as I finally had her final decision.

So we start the task of looking online and of course we don’t see one to our liking. Now mind you every year up until this year I have made her an over the top elaborate costume each Halloween. So this year was no exception. I spent 2 days putting together this costume since she was having a party today in class so I had to get it done in 2 days. For the last 3 nights I have been crawling into bed no later than 1 am only to be woke from my slumber for bad dreams and drink detail. I get this Tinkerbell costume done I was patting myself on the back it was this gorgeous tutu halter dress in different shades of green. Whith gorgeous detail work, she has the wings that match perfect, I made a tutu puff ball wand and the little white puffs to go on her shoes, I also picked up the tinker bell wig. The costume is stunning, she loves it and although very very tired I was happy with the outcome.

So the day of her party (today) my dear husband says the costume is to much for her to wear to school, he states to me that it is not practical and too much for her “she wont be comfortable”. So although major bummed I agree with my husband and we tell her that she can’t wear her costume to school and explain why, she was sad but understands. So she leaves for school with her bottom lip hanging because mind you her older brother got to wear his because a pirate is functionable at school.

So my husband takes them and drops them off at school okay great time for me to start my day as remember I have my own businesses to run. Then 10 minutes after they leave I get a call from my husband “everyone is wearing their costumes”. So now I feel even worse as a mother who spent several hours and late night making this beautiful costume she can’t wear to school and to send her to school with no costume now she is at school and in my head is the only one not wearing a costume.

So then I think well hey I can go get her a costume at Target something that she can make it through the day in and who cares if it gets ruined because she isn’t wearing it for Halloween. Then it was back and forth with my husband on if that was a good idea or not. I even emailed her teacher to explain why she might be a little sad (totally out of the ordinary for my daughter at school). I got a response from her teacher stating that there were only 2 kids in her class today who didn’t wear a costume (and of course mine is one out of the two) and that yes, she was sad. So I decided that was it I have to come to her rescue.

So my mom who was already at Target picked up a cute witch costume and shoes and came and grabbed me and we take off to the school feeling like super hero’s coming to save the day! We get there and they are on recess so we were able to steal her away without disrupting the class. We take her to the bathroom and get her changed at first she was super excited to see us and was happy we came to her rescue. Then we get the costume on she looks adorable and we are heading to her class. Okay great crisis over I felt great again like a good mom.

Then I hear “I don’t want to wear this”. I look at her in udder shock and awe and say “what, what do you mean you don’t want to wear it”. Then we have a major melt down. And I don’t mean a go sit and count to ten melt down. I mean a 10 on the Richter scale, a all “hell” is breaking loose fire in the hole melt down. Of course this is all going on in the very quite hall right out side of her classroom, which at this time has already been back in session. I couldn’t believe my eyes my sweet daughter turned into the exorcist in 2.2 seconds right before my eyes. Not to mention I was trying to do this quick and quietly not to “disrupt” her class in the first place.

I wanted to hide, I wanted to crawl into a large deep hole and hide. Of course the aides that help out at the school are all coming over to “assist” with the situation. We now which started out with just the three of us (my daughter, mom and myself) have turned into a crowd of 8 or so. She is freaking out, I am about to loose my no sleep punched in the gut cool and we are making a scene in the hall. She tries taking off running from me when I tell her she is going to class and that is final screaming all the way.

Finally an aide picked her up and moved her somewhere else where I could slip away thinking that it would be best if they handled it and I left. After all our children do like to put on a “Show” for us. So as I am feeling even worse and like a horrible parent she is screeching for me and crying while two aides have their hands full in calming her down.

So upon leaving my mother and I are now walking with our tails between our legs and our super hero feeling has been long gone. The ride back to drop me off on what seemed like a long quite ride home. We both were in udder shock that she did this. Created a scene of all scenes right at school. Now of course I haven’t had the urge to email her teacher and apologize for the scene that I created.

I am still in shock as I sit here and type this. I haven’t started working and it is now noon and I have to leave for a doctors appointment in an hour and a half. So of course the work that I did need to get done wont be done until late tonight (and I was hoping to actually get some sleep tonight after pulling all nighter’s this week to finish her costume). Ahh the joys of motherhood!!!