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Soleil Moon Frye: I Want To Share the ‘Messiness’ of Motherhood

08/22/2011 at 04:00 PM ET
Meeno Peluce/Getty

After welcoming daughters Poet Sienna Rose, 6, and Jagger Joseph Blue, 3, it didn’t take long for Soleil Moon Frye to look around and realize she didn’t have all of the answers.

“I had so many questions about parenting and I was constantly turning to social media,” the Happy Chaos author, 35, told PEOPLE on Thursday during the Target-sponsored launch party for her new book in Beverly Hills, Calif.

“I found that it was this balancing act. I was always trying to find the balance between trying my best and being an incredible parent. I literally realized that it was chaos — but it was happy chaos.”

Reading through parenting books and observing a few fellow moms only strengthened Frye’s determination to share her experience raising children — both the ups and the downs.

“I would see parents on the street and they’d be opening the stroller so easily. And I was like, ‘Okay, do I somehow have this all wrong?’ I just wanted to be sincere and genuine and share my messiness,” she says. “And in that, I found an incredible, incredible force of parents that supported me. There were a lot of us that walked out of the house with our shirts on inside out.”

Admittedly open to “totally having more babies,” Frye’s greatest teachers through her parenting struggles have been none other than her little girls.

“I thought I was going to teach them everything. They taught me everything, and they continue teaching me,” she explains. “The things that they say are so inspiring and so wise beyond their years. I’m like, ‘Are you really 6 and 3? You guys are like philosophers!'”

Currently on the list of lessons being taught? The value of patience and savoring each second spent together.

“[I'm] constantly being reminded to just have fun,” she reveals. “To get on their level and to just be a kid myself. And have my dance parties with them and have fun and laugh and have joy.”

At the end of the day, however, Frye is the first to realize the importance of her family, including husband Jason Goldberg.

“I have those moments with my kids and family where we try to unplug and just be in the moment,” she shares. “We put everything else to the side and just be there with our family.”

– Anya Leon with reporting by Scott Huver

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Showing 24 comments

Grace2 on

I love the title and her philosophy. It’s similar to my own with my little boys. Chaos abounds. But so do laughs and giggles and messes and fun.

Jessi on

Jagger looks just like Soleil when she was “Punky Brewster”!

Rosy on

Wow, I never knew her second daughter had such a boyish name. I did a double take there just to make sure she did have two daughters.

Shannon on

Beautiful family!

Toya L. on

Punky has a beautiful family.

Piper on

Poet is the splitting image of her mom!

Liberty on

Poet is all dad and Jagger is all mom!

tnbc on

cute family but those little girls have awful names.

tnbc on

jagger joseph? really?

Jay on

her oldest is..um…ugly. Go off on me all you want, thats my opinion.

fuzibuni on

I’m not going to “go off” on you jay… that’s probably what you want.

I’ll just say I was honestly thinking the exact opposite of you. Poet is a gorgeous girl! She looks happy, content and beautiful. Sweet child!

annie on

When I see celebrities say they are writing a book because they realized how little they knew when they became parents I always wonder where their family and friends are. I admit that I am blessed with a large, close-knit family and amazing group of friends that are very generous in answering questions and giving advice (when asked). I feel badly that these celebrities don’t seem to have that.

ELO on

What beautiful little girls. I love their curly hair.

Adelyn on

I’m wondering why she named her daughter “Jagger Joseph”? It’s not like the name is really unisex at all.

Tee on

Jay, I’m not going to go off on you but I would like to ask you a question. An honest question… why would you say that? What could you possibly stand to gain by saying that? I understand freedom of speech but I have never understand why people think they have the right to be nasty because of “freedom of speech.” Can you explain it to me? I’m not being sarcastic in the least. I really want to understand what could drive anyone to say something ugly about another person’s child!

ecl on

I really wish women would stop talking about all their impromptu dance parties and how fun and spontaneous they are. It’s become such a cliche.

RachelfromBoston on

Both of those little girls are so gorgeous! And what I wouldn’t do for that curly hair, I’m totally jealous, haha

I never got the “Joseph” part of Jagger’s name – maybe she’s named after a family member? But I feel like ‘Jagger’ is pretty unisex, and badass! I kinda love it

Tina on

Is she a professional mother or what?

Haha

Arewa on

Those lil’ ladies are just too adorable! Completely agree with Liberty’s assessment

torgster on

Good looking kids, good looking mom, extremely good looking dad lol!

mimi on

aw, her daughters are just gorgeous!

Sam & Freya's Mum on

Jagger’s a cutie. Her name’s grown on me, her middle name not so much! Nice family pic.

joan on

She wants to share the messyness of motherhood? Her oldest is 6.

Come back and tell me all about it when she is 15.

katie on

what a gorgeous family!!

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