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Elizabeth Banks: Motherhood Will Not Stop Me From Acting

08/08/2011 at 04:00 PM ET
Jason Merritt/Getty

Elizabeth Banks admits she’s balancing her career and being a new mom to 5-month-old son Felix “not that well,” but regardless, she isn’t planning to slow down anytime soon.

“I’m not really a break-taker,” Banks, 37, told PEOPLE with a laugh on Saturday while promoting her latest flick, Our Idiot Brother.

“I’ll just keep on going, and then we’ll see. You do it. You push through just like any other working mom.”

She continues, “I don’t want to say I take it day by day, but I pretty much take it month by month. My life is now in monthly increments.”

Even though Banks isn’t planning to let raising a child affect her career, the actress — who has The Hunger Games and What to Expect When You’re Expecting in the works — now understands why other moms take breaks in the workplace.

“The thing about motherhood is it’s a full-time job and everything else gets piled onto it,” she says. “I don’t think I ever really understood that until it came into my life. You put so much of your brain energy, and your emotional and psychological energy into, ‘Where is he? What is he doing?’ that it’s almost hard to concentrate on anything else.”

– Dahvi Shira

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Showing 154 comments

LisaS on

Wow, this is my first time seeing Elizabeth here on CBB and I was thinking it was a pregnancy announcement–turns out she already has become a mom! Needless to say, I’m shocked. I had no idea.

Belated congratulations to her and her husband on their new son. If he looks anything like his momma, he’s sure to be one gorgeous baby. And I CANNOT wait to see her as Effie Trinket in The Hunger Games.

Clara on

Again, why have a child if you don’t want to raise him/her. There is nothing wrong with being childless/free. And you know at her age it was “planned”.

Children grow-up so quickly, it will not hurt anyone to be there for them. At least for the first five years of their precious lives.

I know in some families both parents must work, I mean ones that can afford to stay home (father or mother).

Danielle on

Clara,
Who said the father was not staying home? There was no mention of him.

Jen DC on

@ Clara: Once again, just b/c you’re a working mom doesn’t mean you’re not raising your kid. And AGAIN, we don’t know the inner workings of their financial situation or even how they are handling childcare, since it’s not mentioned here. Maybe like other TV / movie stars, she’s breastfeeding him between takes on location in her high-tech trailer!

I’m not sure we’ve seen a pic of wee Felix (love the name; neighbor’s 5 yr old is named Felix). Sure he’s cute!

leanne on

That’s really great, because without her stellar acting skills, where would the world be?

Elle on

I think she meant that she wants to have it all, which is commendable

Kerri on

Here we go again with people criticizing working moms…get over it! It’s 2011. Maybe some of us WANT to work. Being a mother doesn’t mean you cease being a person.

amy on

Not that it matters, but I think her son was born with help from a surrogate. I don’t think she was pregnant.

Nicole on

FYI she had a surrogate so she obviously really wanted to become a mother. You are all so judgmental. I’m not a parent yet, but with a job and a house I find it hard to concentrate on much else. I can’t imagine what having a child would be like. What is wrong with a mother being open and honest with how hard it really is?

meghan on

Welcome to 2011, where women can be mothers and not sacrifice the interests and ambitions that make them a well-rounded person. You have to have a life outside of your children. I wonder about these people who insist that women should not work once they have children. What happens when your children are grown? You’ve had nothing outside of childrearing for nearly twenty years. What do you do with yourselves? Think you’re gonna pick up where you left off 18 years ago? Not likely and not easily. And you’ve basically lived burrowed up your child hind end for all these years, congratulations, you’ve created a child that has no sense of independence! Why should they do things for themselves, you’ve been there cleaning up their messes all their lives!

My mother worked outside of the home, her mother worked outside the home and so did HER mother, running her own business in the 1900s while raising seven kids. Stay at home moms were not the norm back in the day, no matter what sitcoms and politician try to convince you of when they want to remind you of an easier time. So let go of the fantasy of the housewife vacuuming in a skirt and heels.

kirsty on

If she wants to work let her work, that is up to her. I have to say that I decided to be a SAHM and my daughter does not cling to me and has lots of interests and is extremely well rounded and adjusted (she goes to preschool and other activities without me). I also have outside interests, so I’m not concerned about what will happen when she is in High school or college.

alice on

Just because it’s 2011 doesn’t make it right. Don’t lie to yourselves, working mothers. All your kids want is for you to be there for them; when they get home from school, to talk about their day, do homework, make and eat a nice dinner together. Kids deserve this. They don’t deserve you coming home at 6pm, frazzled, tired and shuttling them off to bed. If you don’t have to work for financial reasons, you should be home with your children. There. I’ve said it. You don’t know what you’re missing. And people, stop buying Wiis and DS’s. Such a disgusting waste of time.

Clara on

It looks like most of you ladies don’t mind your kid’s calling their nanny mommy. Sad…

me on

Sounds like Meghan has a major chip on her shoulder against moms to choose to stay at home. I too stay at home, and have a very well rounded son who is in no way clingy. Most of the other stay at home moms I know have children who are much the same. I have nothing against my friends who choose to work, I do not judge anyone’s choice on how to raise their children. But unlike you Megan, I don’t bad mouth people if their choice is different than mine. Good example to set for you kids…

Kristen on

It never fails, there is always the woman who is confused as to why a woman would want to work even if she doesn’t have to and there is always the woman who believes that the children of SAHM are clingy, dependent brats. Neither makes sense.

Why would children at home with their mom not develop independence? Are you convinced that she is still cutting his meat at 8 years old but if he’d been in daycare he’d been killing his own cow by 8?

And why can’t a woman work outside of the home even if she doesn’t have to financially? We aren’t talking about a woman who’ll be out of the house for days at a time. Why not work if you want to? And why isn’t anyone ever demanding that dad stay home if he can afford to?

Until women can learn to respect the decisions of other women we will always be the nagging hags that men say we are. This post is a great example of how back stabbing and condescending women are to each other.

Grace2 on

Oh Jeez, here we go again.

I cannot wait for The Hunger Games. If you haven’t read it, read it now. It is so fantastic. I read all three books in four days. Let me tell you ladies, those books are a way better use of your time than arguing on CBB…CANNOT wait for this movie!!~

Karen on

Banks isn’t planning on letting having a child affect her career? Really?? Having a baby affects everything! I would just say that if you err, please do so in favor of this precious gift you’ve been given. I don’t want to beat up on working moms. Most moms work. But to just say that having a baby doesn’t change anything is either very naive or tragically cold.

Kate on

I think what we’re all forgetting is that the feminist revolution wasn’t and isn’t about one option (at home or working mom) being better than the other. It was about the opportunity to choose what is right for us, without fear of discrimination for our choices.

Anonymous on

I love coming here because EVERYONE argues. It’s so funny to read the comments and you all are so darn critical. Let’s face it; today’s economy SUCKS, and sometimes BOTH parents have to work. It’s not that they want to – they HAVE to. Being a Mom does not mean you should/have to stop working. Get with it.

Tabatha on

I am blessed and lucky enough to be able to stay home with my kids. I have no judgement against working moms at all. I have to say that I feel very judged by working moms for being able to stay at home. The reason I stay home is because honestly I would work to make about 200 dollars a month with how expensive child care is. My husband and I just didn’t think it was worth it.

Karen on

Meghan: Most moms did stay home proior to the ’70s. Your ancestors weren’t the norm. You obviously have VERY strong feelings against stay at home moms. I’m a stay at home mom who has many outside interests. Life experience will help you to realize that there is no right or wrong way to parent. You sound like a very angry person.

Anonymous on

And Meghan – my mother has been a stay-at-home mom since the 1980′s. Do you have a problem with that? Keep your stupid big mouth shut. You know NOTHING.

lisa on

Look, Liz has the luxury of picking and choosing her projects- working a couple of months at a time and then not working at all for months at a time. If only the rest of us working moms had that. I think she’s balancing everything beautifully and will end up spending more time with her son than those of us who work outside of the home 40 + hours a week. Say what you will about working vs sahms… that’s her reality and she is lucky to be in that position!

meghan on

My problem is not against stay at home moms. My problem is with people who get on a website and say that a woman who works has her kids raised by nannies. It’s an assumption. Full time stay at home moms are historically not the norm. They may not have had ‘careers’ proper, but they worked outside the home part time and brought home paychecks or worked out of the home for extra money.

I apologize to anyone who thought I was harsh, but I am getting sick of the mentality that women have to lose their identity when they become moms and working moms leave all the heavy lifting to the nanny. Don’t like the generalizations I made about SAHMs? Remember that when you want to make sweeping generalizations of working moms. If working is what’s right for Elizabeth Banks, Christina Applegate or Sarah Michelle Gellar (the latest victims of this blogs sanctimommies) that’s the business of their families.

I for one did not commute an hour each way to college for four years to do nothing with my degree except pay back massive student loans. I work part time in my chosen field.

Jen on

….she’s not letting her child affect her career, but she’s letting her career affect her child……yes, it does. The person who is with your child during the majority of his/her waking hours, is the one raising the child. Plain and simple. Children NEED their mothers, more than we need to watch them act.

K on

Alice – as the daughter of an extremely intelligent, hard-working, driven career woman, I can tell you that I was loved unconditionally, supported in everything I tried, and had, and still have, a wonderful relationship with my mother. I was proud that she worked. In fact, when she decided to work part-time when I was in middle school, I was horrified. I thought it was a woman’s right to work, and that she shouldn’t let my dad make all of the money. My mom was smart enough to talk with me about this.

Eventually, I came to understand how wonderful either side could be – a stay at home mom or a career woman. I would never judge a woman for choosing either. In the end, you have to make yourself happy if you want to make your children happy. You cannot sacrifice who you are and what makes you you. Your children will catch on to that. Afterall, they learn most from observation and experience.

Good for those who choose to stay home, and good for those who choose to work.

And Kate, you put it perfectly. The feminist movement was about creating choices, not forcing women into the workforce. It was about giving them the opportunity to get in the workforce at all.

Anna on

A question for all of you stay at home moms: who’s looking after your kids while you surf the internet?

Anna on

So according to Jen, actresses shouldn’t have children and/or should quit acting once they have kids. Brilliant. I hope your kid isn’t home schooled.

Andrea on

(Sigh) Children need their PARENTS. Most people NEED to work and I am sympathetic to that situation, but if you want to leave your kids to pursue YOUR interests even though you don’t NEED to, then at least be honest with yourselves. Someone else is raising your child.

Seriously, “I’m not really a break-taker”? It’s your child, not a vacation. Why adopt it that’s how you feel?

ecl on

Sorry Karen, but most moms DID NOT stay at home before the 1970′s. The male breadwinner-female homemaker family model is just a blip in history and mostly occurred in white, middle and upper class families. Most mothers across history and around the world have worked. Meghan is correct. You should read a little history.

Lisa on

Each to her own — there are many, many reasons for a woman to work or not work outside the home, financial and otherwise. However, as a SAHM (by choice and not without financial and emotional sacrifice), I do take offense when we suggest that working and stay-at-home moms put in the same amount of mothering time each day. Loving, yes … that isn’t determined by how many hours you spend with your child each day. But to suggest that someone like Ms. Banks, who potentially gets help from family or paid help for up to 10 hours some days, is putting in the same time and effort each day as a mother is not accurate. When you are at work, there is no way that you are putting in the same mental and physical energy to mother your child as I am at home with mine, no matter how much you think about them. Thinking is not the same as doing or being there.

And to suggest that I’m not a well-balanced person because I don’t have a paid career is ludicrous. Does that mean your nannies or daycare providers are boring, one-note people because they choose to care for children during the day? Why is it good for them to dedicate themselves to raising your children, but not you?

Does wanting to spend time with children, especially as their mother, mean that you have no depth? Of course not. Yes, in 18 years I will probably have to consider new career options and possibly additional education to update my skills, but when it comes time to retire, I’ll still be a mom, even if they are grown. Which occupation do you think I’ll most regret spending time on? Which do you think will have the most lasting impact on myself and my family?

Again, work if you want to or must, but don’t bag on the SAHM. She is no less of a mother.

CB on

Jen, you are so right! Could not agree with you more.

Rebekah on

Good, you should work. But I also don’t think the world needs more babies. So thumbs up thumbs down here.

Erika on

Clara- how old fashioned and anti-feministic of you. Do you believe that a woman’s place is inside the home, cooking and cleaning and caring for her husband and child? Because *that* is what you are implying. Just because a woman doesn’t want to spend her whole life caring for kids, doesn’t mean she isn’t raising them. Some women like to accomplish things outside the house, and need to make an income. This isn’t 1950, like it or not. A woman can be a mother while working a job outside of the house. I am sick of people making working mothers feel guilty and treating them like less than a mother than those who stay home. People make it seem like kids with stay at home parents are so much more advantaged.

My mother had to work. She didn’t have any other option. She would have loved to stay home, but she had to choose between working and you know, having food on the table. She worked part time a few days a week in the mornings when I was really little then it increased to full time when I started school. My dad worked nights and on the occasional mornings when my mother had to work, and my father was sleeping after just returning from work, we were with my grandparents.

And you know what? I sometimes cry because I long for my childhood, 20+ years later. I remember roughhousing with my dad, taking walks in the stroller with my grandparents and doing all kinds of art projects and everything with my mom. I experienced so much great stuff because I was with *all* of them and not just my mother. I personally don’t know why a mother is expected to stay home- fathers and grandparents are important too.

I honestly had the best childhood ever. Despite working, my mother took us to playgrounds, amusement parks, museums, water parks, on play dates, to the circus and kid friendly concerts. We traveled several times a year. My mother was my girl scout leader, my religion teacher, my class mother (every year except the one she didn’t get chosen). She let me have play dates all the time and always did crafts with us. She made all our school lunches and always put us on the bus before school, and took us off after school. She made homemade dinner every night. She always volunteered for field trips and only missed one school event from grade k-12 and it was because of a family emergency, not work. She was lucky to have a flexible schedule. I always admired my mother so much because she truly worked harder than anyone I knew!

But my point is this. What did I miss out on not having a stay at home parent? Somebody please tell me. Everyone makes it seem like children of working mothers have it so bad, but please tell me what I missed out on in my childhood?

I have absolutely nothing against stay at home moms. If someone can afford to stay home with their children and wants to do so, that is great for them. It’s just that some women don’t want to stay home and that is fine too. I don’t have kids yet, and if I had the money I would consider staying home, but working would be fine too. As long as you have a healthy, happy family it doesn’t really matter.

Sheryl on

K, that is absolutely the best post in this entire chain of comments.

heather on

You know what would be awesome…if women could support each other’s choices and each other’s right to choice. We hold each other back and keep each other down when we lambaste each other for making choices. I support a woman’s right to work out of the home, work in her home, have six children, have no children. We are all women, and we only destroy each other when we call each other down.

Anonymous on

Meghan – if you are just reading these blogs and being nasty, then you ARE doing nothing with your pathetic life. Boo hoo.

alice on

It’s this notion that now women have a “choice” that bugs me. You made your choice when you decided to have a child. Now take care of that child. That child needs you and not day care after school until 6pm. Maria Shriver (God help her….why did she marry that creep) said it well when she said women could have it all, just not at the same time. We need to lobby the government to make it easier for women to “share” positions and get back into the work place part time when the time is right.

Ladies, you know as well as me, the menfolk aren’t great at child-rearing. Some are great, a rare few, and I know you all know what I”m talking about! They don’t have the patience, they are completely self-centered, they just aren’t maternal-duh! And I think my husband is amazing. But you know he wants a trophy if he does the littlest thing. I know, God, I know and kind of hate, how old fashioned and sexist I sound. But I feel like noone will speak the truth.

I can’t undersand, truly can’t fathom, how a woman could leave her four month old child at 8 in the morning, drop him/her off at daycare or with a babysitter and not see child again until 6 in the evening. I really want to know how you can do that? Are you plagued with guilt? Or is it that some women just don’t have the patience or desire to be with children all day? I just want the truth. I see kids in my somewhat affluent town being shuttled out of school into the “after-care” group and know they are there until 5 or 6 o’clock after being in school since 8:00. And their parents have two giant incomes.

I also think children should take their mothers’ last name. It’s usually the Dads who abandon ship and then you are raising your child with that d#$%2 last name.

alice on

I’m annoyed with the blanket statement that women should just blindly support other women’s choices. I don’t support the practice of willfully leaving your child with strangers and electronic devices while you pursue your “dreams”. Kids don’t ask to be born. They expect their mothers to take care of them.

The kids I know who have working mothers would love to have them there after school for a hug and a chat. I know because they’ve told me so. When I bring them home after school for playdates they ask me, “Do you give them a snack every day after school?” Don’t for one second think anyone else will care for your child they way you would.

CB on

Anna, my kids are sleeping soundly. I don’t have time to surf the Internet when they’re awake. Do you have time to surf on line while you’re working? Maybe that answers your provocative question.

S on

It is very disappointing to see women being so critical of other women over such a personal and emotional choice. The decision to either go back to work or not is a difficult one, no matter which you choose. So ladies, relax, you can have your personal opinion but let’s try to be a little more understanding of the choices others make.

Mia on

Whenever I have kids–I plan on making them part of “my life” + that will include the career I have worked hard for + be able to provide them with things that I wouldn’t have otherwise–it’s a huge part of life…but not 100% of it.

-No one should get lost in any relationshp-whether romantic, work, having kids…..it’s all the same balance.

June on

My mother worked and I was never deprived, grew up normal and happy. You folks who grew up watching Donna Reed and the other “mom stays home, wears an apron and heels and dad works” TV shows of the 50s need to get real. That was NOT the norm. Women have been working and having families for years. It is also ridiculous to say that moms are more important than dads, another myth.

Kelli on

Erika,

To think we’ve wasted all them book learnins when all we need to do is churn butter and run the wringer washer.

Alice,

The “menfolk”? Oh my word, in what century were you born?

Clara,

I had a childhood similar to Erika’s. My mom was a nurse, and I would get off the bus at my grandparents’ until she picked me up. I played ball with my grandad and ran in the orchard while my granny picked fruit from the trees. During the summer, when it was time to set tobacco, I would help pull plants with my grandparents and aunts to transfer to the tobacco patch. I wouldn’t change my upbringing for anything in the world. I can’t ever remember my mom missing a ball game or a PTO meeting in all of those years.

Now, I have a B.S. in chemistry, an M.S. in biology, and a doctorate in physical therapy, and I am still very close to my whole family. In fact, we still have Sunday supper every few weeks. So I am interested in hearing an answer to Erika’s question: What did I miss out on by not having a stay at home parent?

TC on

I’ve had it both ways. I’ve been a SAHM, then a full time worker after my divorce. This is just MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE, so take it how you want.

I was so much more focused on the kids when I was working. When I was home 24/7, and please believe me when I say I loved it, but it was easier to become less involved because you knew that you were always with them. Time was never an issue. Then when you’re working all day, and pick them up, it’s all about them. Because now time IS an issue, and you want to make the most of it when you’re together as a family.

Added plus: the awesome daycare I had them in with the amazing staff were the ones to push me to test my son, who we found out was Autistic. He got into early childhood intervention and is doing great now at almost 18. I didn’t know any better back then and may have taken much longer getting him the help he needed.

I adore Ms. Banks, who is refreshingly honest and funny and smart. She has been with her husband since college, and after all she went through to have her son, I’m sure she gives him all the love and attention he could need or want.

Clara on

@Erika-Why don’t you learn to read before you post? I hope you don’t have any children.

I was simply stating if YOU have the OPTION to stay home or go out and work, why would you CHOOSE to work outside of the home? Most don’t have that option, I realize that.

If you CHOOSE work that’s fine, but why have a “PLANNED” child? That you will see perhaps 2 hours per weekday maximum. Just curious?!

To Meghan and Erika I can see why your parents worked, to get away from YOU.

Indira on

Erika, I completely agree. I had a similar experience and, I’m only 22 but I still miss it. My working mom was the best! Objectively, she did everything to make me happy.

Ladies how many times are we going to have the same argument? I mean the same people arguing the same things. I’ve had my share but, come on let’s argue over something new!

Clara on

@Kelli – I have some news for you, since you haven’t figure it out yet. The child doesn’t really miss out, it’s the parents.

Kris on

My God, bashing Elizabeth Banks for wanting to continue working.. if it’s not one thing it’s another for some women on here.

I am single, very independent and in the process of trying to become a mother- I have given up waiting for Mr Right to come along and I will have to continue working, and using a reliable daycare. There are pros and cons to staying home- one is you’re not getting any work experience and it is very difficult to go back to work once you’ve been off for several years and if you and hubby divorce, then what happens? This guy will be stuck paying alimony because you’re going to claim you ‘gave up a career’ in order to mother his children. And then things get really bitter. So many marriages don’t work out that I will not be willing to give up a good job to stay home 24/7 with my kids.

It is 2011, it is acceptable for women to work outside the home. My sister has a work-from-home job and she only has to go into the office a couple days a week, but when she is home, she is online all day screwing off-we all know that and her husband knows that.

And EB used a surrogate because they were having one failed IVF after another, and apparently this was necessary.

Mel on

I don’t chime in when I read these threads, but I felt compelled to tonight. I’m a high school teacher, and the daughter of a working mom (and working dad!). My mom worked two jobs, took care of all my grandparents and their estates, had dinner on the table every night, took me and my sister to school and picked us up, and managed to keep us from going bankrupt when we hit financial skids in the 80s. As far as I’m concerned, she’s Superwoman.

I think the difference these days is attitude. Elizabeth Banks comes off as sounding entitled to her career, like some little infant isn’t going to get in the way of her next role. That’s probably not how she intended it, but that’s how it came across. My mom worked because she had to, and while my dad made a good living, it wasn’t enough. Here I am now, a teacher, and I see the results of households whose moms want to live their lives first, then deal with their kids. They treat their kids like nuisances, like things to be tolerated. That’s the problem I have, when I see these students treating me like I’m their mother, instead of the women who actually own that title, because these women feel that their careers and interests come before everything, especially their kids. It breaks my heart every day.

My mother always made us know that she worked to make sure we had what we needed: a home, clothes, food, and just a few extras, when possible. My sister and I are educated and we love both our parents because we know the sacrifices that went with the decisions they made for us. I know my mom wishes she could’ve been a stay-home mom, but that wasn’t in the cards for our family. But she made sure we understood why she worked so hard, and that made all the difference.

Shannon on

Congratulations to her and her little one! Just a side not though… I wouldn’t call staying home to be a full time mom being a “break-taker.”

Kelli on

Ah, thanks for clearing that up, Clara. So, as far as you’re concerned, it really isn’t about what’s best for the kids, but what’s best for you.

Clara on

@Kelli – You must not have children. Which means you are clueless to what is best for them.

Emme on

Sorry, but unless you have to, one parent should be home with a child until they start school full-time. Why do people have children that they have no interest in raising? I don’t know why people think money in the bank is making their children happy. They want time with their parents! The time from birth to 5-6 years old is so tender and goes fast…why would you want a stranger to see all that comes with your child instead of doing it yourself. Because as someone else stated, why have kids at all if you are not willing to make some personal sacrifice to raise them?

showbizmom on

Dear Alice,

Point one, I was raised by two dads and they were wonderful!!! I know a host of other children that have amazing fathers, so no I’m not one of those ladies who think Men just aren’t that good at the child raising.Also my husband is an amazing father and husband and never wants a pat on the back for doing what he should. He was raised by a working mom and dad and never thought women do this and men do this. In his eyes we do the same and are the same. No gender roles in this house!

Point two, I work and I don’t have to, yet my kids are loved, well rounded and happy. They also have a nanny who loves them to death, and no they don’t call her Mom! My nanny is used just as any working parent would use a grandma, a aunt, uncle or best friend. Except mine was vetted and I know more about her then most know about their BFF or sister. When we know one of us have to work late or whatever, She picks them up, when me and my husband have or weekly date, she watches them. What’s the big deal? Am I horrible? Are they going without love? Nope, in fact they are drowning in love.

Point three, you are projecting about fathers not being there. because I know NO men in my life that has abandoned their kids. Yes, it’s common, but so is the fathers that do what they should.

Point Four, Yes, I work one because I would go crazy if I were at home all day with my girls and two, I love what I do. I love my staff and what we’ve done. I love that my girls see me doing something that I love so they take that same passion with them when they leave our home. I know a older woman who was a SAHM and she loves her kids, yet she has no idea on how to live HER life. She spent 20+ years not learning what made her happy outside of the house Hell she never had the BIG O! she thought it was normal. Now she’s in her late 50′s single (husband left her) kids gone and living their own lives. You know what she does? She’s one of my interns! She’s now doing what she should have done years ago finding her OWN bliss, something she tells her kids to do. I’m not saying that all SAHM moms are like Carol, but either way I don’t want to chance it. My heart and my world is big enough for both.

So I’ll work till I don’t feel like it. In the meantime my kids will if my husband and I stay smart and our investments don’t go to sh*t, will be able to go to College without worry and debt and still feel 100% loved because they are.

Sonia on

I decided to go back to work full time after my first, then my second child because my mom stayed home raising 8 kids growing up and I could tell she was not happy, very stressed out and never did anything for herself. Seeing that as a child made me promise myself that I would never be miserable at home and I would have a career of my own. Happy mom=happy kids.

So whatever your decision is to stay home or not, make sure it is your decision and it makes you happy! It just was not suited for me to stay home and my kids actually do more activities at daycare than at home and they are really happy to see us at the end of the day!

Mee on

My mom was a working mom, and my dad worked too. My dad got home a half hour after school let out. My mom was a teacher so she was a little bit later, but she had all summer and important holidays off, along with half days and extended weekends here or there. I didn’t miss out on anything.

Holiday on

There goes meghan running her mouth again on something she knows nothing about (raising kids!)

Sara on

“I can’t undersand, truly can’t fathom, how a woman could leave her four month old child at 8 in the morning, drop him/her off at daycare or with a babysitter and not see child again until 6 in the evening. I really want to know how you can do that? Are you plagued with guilt? Or is it that some women just don’t have the patience or desire to be with children all day? I just want the truth.”

Well Alice here’s the truth…I’m not a mom but my amazing sister-in-law and brother just made me an Aunt about 4 1/2 months ago and yes my niece does go to the daycare already. See maternity leave laws in the state of Virginia are crappy and because she had been at her job as a Respiratory Care Therapist for only 10 months instead of 12 she could only get 6 weeks off and all of that wasn’t paid. My brother is a medical school student and my awesome niece was a very large surprise to them but certainly a surprise that has brought the greatest of joy into our family’s life!!!

My brother had a test the very morning after my sister-in-law gave birth so it isn’t like his schedule can be very flexible. He will be continuing his school in order to make a better life for him, his wife, daughter and any future children they might have. Luckily, their little girl doesn’t always go to daycare because my sister-in-law works 12 hour 7-7 shifts so that she can only need to work 3-4 days a week and she tries to make those weekend days so that my brother is home. This summer my brother was gone for 6 weeks as, in addition to being a med student, he’s also a 2nd LT in the Army so he had Officer Training that he was committed to. During this time, my sister-in-law was working and taking care of the baby. In case you didn’t know…the Army doesn’t pay the best and med school sure as heck doesn’t offer any time for a part-time job so that his wife could stay home.

Now, they have a TON of family support and myself, my parents, and my sister have driven from Missouri to Virginia several times on weekends in order to help take care of my niece so that she’s at home instead of in daycare BUT trust me that there are days when my niece has had to be dropped off and not picked up till after 7 at daycare.

Alice, your comments are rude and insensitive. I’m glad you had the luxury of staying home with your kids but right now my sister-in-law doesn’t and it KILLS her to not be with her little girl all day everyday. However, she also does enjoy her career and chose it for a reason. Sometimes, the break of being at work helps a parent step back a little bit and be an even better parent when they are at home with the child.

My own mother and father are blessed with a sizable income but they both always worked as well. Their goals were that their children would have every opportunity life could offer. Us 3 kids were only 37 months apart and I cannot remember either of my parents missing a single event. They were at every spelling bee, every game, every science fair, every open house, every band competition. My dad played catch with my brother until he couldn’t see while my mom was helping us with homework at the dining room table. My mom coached my softball teams and volunteered to be the parent helper every time. She was the chaperone for every school dance and every trip. There is not a single time I can ever think that she wasn’t there for me, my brother, or my sister. Did she have a fresh batch of chocolate chip cookies waiting for us after school? No but she had a glove and bat ready to hit the field with my team and I. Did we have Hamburger Helper or Spaghetti for dinner instead of a 4-course meal that took hours to prepare? Yup we did but we all still turned out VERY WELL! My brother serves our country and will soon be a doctor serving as an Orthopedic Surgeon to heal our soldiers injured in war. I am a 2nd year law student who also is the co-founder of a nonprofit company that helps the families of pediatric cancer patients. My sister is the other co-founder of this company and is a senior in college that will graduate with a degree in broadcast sports journalism.

I’d say my working mom who CHOSE to work did just fine with all of us. Could they have made it without her income? Yes, but having a working mom taught me to help take responsibility at home and help out more, it taught me how valuable a solid education is, it showed me that I should strive to find a career that I love. I learned way more by having a working mom than I can ever put into words. I respect the decision of women who chose to be SAHM!!! My mom has always said that being a SAHM is the hardest job there is. However, some of (not all) the SAHM on this board seem to have lost the respect for the women out there who either MUST work or who choose to work and make the choice to do so. No 2 families are alike and no one gets the right to judge!!!

dsfg on

“It looks like most of you ladies don’t mind your kid’s calling their nanny mommy. Sad…”

Clara, looks like you are stuck in the 1950s, and sexist, at that . . .

dsfg on

“Ladies, you know as well as me, the menfolk aren’t great at child-rearing. Some are great, a rare few, and I know you all know what I”m talking about!”

Not sure what you are talking about, Alice . . . Sounds to me like you are stereotyping and being sexist, all at once. Most men I know are just as great with children as their children’s mothers are . . . Gender really has nothing to do with child-rearing skills.

Lisa on

Yes, yes, we need to be civil. Women have choices and children can be loved or neglected no matter if their mother/father/dog stays home or not. And certainly children of working mothers can grow up to be great individuals, molded by the various people who helped raise them.

BUT — a working mom or dad cannot say s/he is a primary caregiver when that person isn’t home 8+ hours of the day. You are supervising child-rearing, but you are not providing it. A stay-at-home parent, does FAR more actual parenting and hands-on teaching, regardless of whether they are going crazy (part of being a parent) and/or having to neglect a bit of personal pursuits in the name of being there (like, in person) for their child for a few years.

It seems working parents want all the credit. You don’t have to feel guilty, but stop acting like an equal to stay-at-home parents, or even your hired help. You are a part-time parent. (Just like all of us become to some extent when our kids begin school. But I don’t take credit for what my children’s teachers do during the day just because I’m they come home to me and show me their school work.)

After all, if you had an important business project and delegated the responsibility to a team of workers, would you take credit for it? No. You would realize that they did most of the work, while you merely provided an overarching plan and occasional moments of help.

So the question is — what kind of parent do you want to be? (Assuming you have a choice.)

bored on summer break on

I have to show my students (I am professor of Family Science)….the battle between SAHMs and working- outside-the home moms is alive and well! Here is what I know , from research, not opinion. over 40% of marriages end in divorce ( thats not including the roughly 30% of kids born to unwed parents, even less likely that parents will stay together long term)…. of those divorced moms, the vast majority do not get the financial support needed to raise their kids…so, women and children are the group most vulnerable to poverty – the feminization of poverty. also, research finds that having a working mom is beneficial to kids, particularly for girls, no surprise. So, no need to feel guilty working parents. and my advice to my students is always to keep your foot in the workplace, there is a good chance you will need it there.

Cecelia on

Why doesn’t anyone ever bitch about fathers working after their children are born? Sexism at it’s finest.

Missy on

I haven’t read all of the comments yet, but I can see that some people are giving Elizabeth a hard time for her statements. I just want to say that I really admire her honesty. There are so many actors who SAY that they plan to take time off to be with their baby, but then turn around and go back to work after a few weeks or do 3 films in one year. Even if you don’t agree with Elizabeth’s decision, you have to admit that her honesty is refreshing.

Janna on

Sorry ladies, if your child is in day care everyday, you (and the baby daddy) ARE letting someone else raise them. 8 hours of day care, 8 hours of sleep, 8 hours with parents. That means someone ELSE spends equal time with your kids and should get equal credit.

Nancy on

There are a lot of opinions on here. Here is my 2 cents: I feel that SOME stay at home moms that I know are spending all of their time talking on the phone, working in their office or surfing the internet so how is that really being there for your kids. I personally work parttime and it gives me the best of both worlds. I know parents who send their kids to babysitters to relatives houses every weekend so they can party.

If you are so busy that you don’t ever have time to watch your kid’s play, watch their baseball game, volunteer at their school, take them to the fair or help them with their homework, there is a problem. It is all about what you do with your entire time, whether you work or not.

BTW, I have worked both fulltime and parttime as a parent and for me when I worked fulltime, I had little time to clean the house and cook and I was much more tired. That was my experience.

Fiona on

I have to work so I can pay to keep the lazy moms home and pay for their health insurance. You’re welcome.

Avery on

Let’s throw it all out there and be honest, raising kids day in and day out is HARD! That said, it is the most important thing you can do. Every day I am teaching my children right from wrong as they interact with one another, encounter new situations, interact with other kids, etc. As parents, we are responsible for teaching our children daily, not someone else. I care way too much about my children’s behavior and morals to leave it to someone else to shape them.

Karen on

eel: I’ve read plenty! Most women worked at home before the ’70s. And I mean WORKED. Before the Industrial Revolution, we had an agricultural society. It was hard farming work. Women worked I don’t like being told I squandered my education because I stay at home. I also don’t like working women being told they’re not raising their kids because they work. I think the unfortunate remarks Ms. Banks made shows that she doesn’t realize what she’s in for. I reacted to what SHE said. I don’t indict every working mom any more than I want to be indicted by working moms.

Seether on

I work, spend tons of quality time with my very smart and well-adjusted son and MOST IMPORTANTLY, I am financially independant from my husband. I watch SAHMs having to ask for money and waste a whole bunch of time squawking to each other about their need for a “break” because they never get one. The amount of time my son is in daycare is the same amount that you are shipping your kids off to school or out for playdates, so get off your high horses. I love my career, I love my family, and I love my CHOICE so SUCK ON THAT.

Toya L. on

@Alice
Sounds like your husband is a real keeper, a perfect match made in heaven.

Kelly on

That’s funny Fiona because money comes out of my husband’s paycheck every two weeks to pay for our health care…

And Clara, just because she is 37 doesn’t mean the child was “planned.” I know three mothers including myself whose third children were not “planned…”

Jayne on

Gosh, this is both sides blasting each other. Seether–you’re a disgusting and nasty human being.

kris on

Okay I work my child calls me mom. Dad stays home with her two days a week. She loves it and she loves school and her awesome teachers who have resources I don’t have at home to help her learn and socialize. she is three. We have another one on the way and since my husband has the more flexiblle schedule he will stay home with our second daughter for her first year as he did with our first. After that she will be in Daycare from about 9-4.

Now, SAHM i think it is wonderful you get to do that. I love my daughter(s) but that is not for me. Also i am the primary insurance provider by working. But if the argument that someone else is raising your kids those 8 hours a day they are in Daycare holds any water at all then you become a part time parent when your child starts school. I am the one who gets up at night with my child, feeds her breakfast, dinner, plays after “school” and we don’t do dance or gymnastics yet because that is our time I am not going to spend shuffling her around at age 3. I have wonderful friends who are stay at home mothers and love it but we have enough guilt in the world without imposing it on eachother. Were I to stay home I would still feel guilty for my husband having to be the only provider.

Heather Lynn on

I applaud Elizabeth for wanting to continue her passions while also being a mother. You CAN have it all if you really try.

I was raised by a stay-at-home mom and am now a working mom with kids who stay with their aunt while I’m at work. I can see the benefits to both, but financially we need two incomes in my home. Fortunately growing up we only needed one, and my siblings and I spent many wonderful days with my mom. Do I think that my children are missing out on time with me because of my career? No. Do I think that I am missing out on time with my children? No. It is tough to balance work and home life but I feel like the situation we have works for us and that is all that matters. YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOUR FAMILY, NOT SOMEONE ELSES.

alice on

Showbizmom, your nanny does not love your kids to death. You are paying her money to act like she loves your kids. But believe me, she does not love them.

Sonia, that sucks that your mom had eight kids, stayed home and wasn’t happy. That must be really hard for you to acknowledge. I’m sorry.

dsfg, don’t be silly. Of course gender has bearing on chid-rearing skills. I’m just begging for some honesty here. Most men, MOST men, are pretty selfish. Not in a psychotic way, but deep down, they are thinking of what’s in it for them. I know quite a few stay at home dads and they are lacking something. I can’t put it into words.

Avery and Janna, right on!

Fiona, thank you for your hard work.

Really, bored on summer break? Research shows girls in particular do better with working moms? Today? Every kid I know, regardless of age, is on Youtube, or watching those incredibly unfunny Disney shows aimed at k-5th grade, where 13 year olds are plastered with make-up and talking about dating and boyfriends.

I feel like we have given up as a society on our children. Parents let their kids play video games for hours at home or in the car, watch movies in the car. When we go out to dinner it pains me to see kids sitting at the table playing their hand held games. There is no conversation anymore. We need to do something, women! And running off to work and leaving our human capital in day cares or with strangers is not progress. It’s irresponsible and selfish. Not every woman has to have a child. If you want to succeed in business, really reach the pinnacle of your field, children will only be in your way and you will be forced to farm them out to be raised.

And again, I am railing against women who do not have to work and either put their kids in daycare all day, or hire someone to take care of them and act like it’s o.k. because it’s 2011. Say things like, “my kids love it! They look up to me for being so successful! ” Kids don’t think like that! They want to be the center of your existence if just for a few years. Childhood is so short.

Maybe I’m extreme. I have three kids, 6,8, and 10. I did not put them in camp this summer and I am enjoying nearly every second of it. They sleep late. We eat pancakes. Take the dog to the dog park. Get into our bathing suits. Head to our very modest town pool. Have lunch and ice cream. I play shark and water ball tag with them and their friends. Come home, shower, BBQ, watch a great movie. Read books, go to sleep. In the morning, cuddle with all three of them and do it all again.

When they were really small, I thought they’d be small forever and I resented how much time I had to spend on them. I wanted to read my book. All I wanted to do was go to a coffee shop and read my book. But a few years back I had this epiphany and saw them changing so quickly and changed my mindset. That I would enjoy every minute with them because very soon it would be weird to climb under the covers with them in the morning. That soon they wouldn’t find me hysterical, I’d be annoying. I love my kids so much. I can’t imagine any job that could be more fulfilling.

LM on

Janna, How is it different than sending your kids to school? Are the teachers raising your kids? No, kids know who their parents are. My son goes to daycare because I need to work full time to support him. And everyday when I pick him up, he screams “Mama!” and runs to me. He knows who I am and I don’t think that my daycare lady is raising him. Also, there are 168 hours in a week. He’s at daycare 40 of those hours. I’m still the primary caregiver.

I think EB’s is probably doing a great job raising her child. You NEVER know until you have children, the extent to which your life will change. It takes adjustment and I think that’s what she’s getting at in this interview

Erika on

Wow Clara, no need to say things like “I hope you don’t have kids” and “Your parents wanted to get away from you”. That is kind of rude and my mother didn’t work to get away from me, but because she had to. She spent plenty of time with me, as I said before, and would probably be offended that you would say such a thing.

As a matter of fact, I did read your post. And I can appreciate the fact that you suggested that there is nothing wrong with being child free. However, you also suggested that women who have children should stay home with them when they are young. That too is an old fashioned viewpoint. Women with children should never feel pressured to stay home. I’m sure it is nice but it isn’t for every family. I was trying to prove that children with working mothers can have an awesome childhood, and not everyone ends up in daycare (which probably isn’t terrible either).

My post was not meant to slam you, but rather to show people that a working woman can be just as great of a mother as a stay at home mother.

Seether on

Yes, Jayne, I’m ‘disgusting’ for helping pay for my family’s expenses and working to ensure my children can get a head start in life because I, like many, didn’t have one. I also intend to teach my children that women aren’t doormats who are to be controlled by men and if you don’t think the world works that way, read a newspaper or do some research and get off People.com.

I may be ‘nasty’ but I’m proud to say I’m not oblivious to reality…and guess what? If you think things are bad right now with the economy, it’s about to get a lot worse…I refuse to sit back and wish I had done something to ease the financial blow and then boo hoo while my family suffers.

Alternatively, if you are some trophy-wife, holier-than-though, waste- of-space do-nothing but chat on the phone with your other SAHM trophy-wives or fill up your day wandering around shopping malls and restaurants whom the economy won’t affect, well then your ignorance is completely understandable. Take care, sweetie!

alice on

O.K., everyone but Seether should stay home with their kids. Now, I’m seriously thinking my mind is changed. Certain types should not stay home and their kids are probably better off in day care. Thanks, People!

Cleveland Gal on

It really doesn’t matter anyway, Hollywood moms have nannies raise their children anyway.

meghan on

Holiday, what are you talking about? I rarely ever post on this site. I’m just sick of the attitude on these working mother threads. Maybe you’re thinking of another Meghan? I think there is a few posting on this site. Ironic you accuse me of talking about things I know nothing about when you don’t know what your talking about.

Ariel on

I love reading the ignorance of the comments on these articles because they make me laugh. I don’t understand some women’s conception that a mother doesn’t love her child as much if she works or is a stay at home mom. I,myself am a working mom, even if by choice to be a stay at home mom I wouldn’t choose to do so. I couldn’t do. I would drive myself literally insane. I am a very self reliant person. So for me working is an accomplishment. I balance my work, my school, and raising my daughter.

My daughter has been in daycare since she was 3 months old because me and her needed the income. She doesn’t call the daycare workers her mom. She knows I am her mother. They don’t raise my child, they look after her thru the day but they certainly DO NOT raise her. I teach her right from wrong, if she gets in trouble at school I punish her when I pick her up. I love my daughter very much and with me working I am providing for her the best way I can as a single mother. Whether a mother is financial stable to stay at home, she does not love her child any less if she chooses to work. There is nothing wrong with it. I wish people would quit condemning working mothers as being neglectful to their children.

meghan on

“Ladies, you know as well as me, the menfolk aren’t great at child-rearing. Some are great, a rare few, and I know you all know what I”m talking about!”

And I’m the ignorant one?!?!

Erika on

Alice- you seem like a very hands on mother and I’m sure your kids appreciate that, just like I did when I was young.

My mother, who worked part time did all that in the summer as well. She was mostly off during the summer when we were young and didn’t put us in camp either. We spent many long, fun summer days together and they were sone of the best memories I have. I’m sure your children will cherish those memories with them just as I do with my mother, but don’t assume that working mothers can’t make the same memories with their kids. We were fortunate that my mother very rarely worked in the summer (until I was in my teens) but parents who work in the summer can still make awesome memories.

As I said in my previous post, my mother worked part time when I was really young and didn’t really miss out on anything. Of course we had a unique situation and she was fortunate to have flexible hours, but we still did everything you can think of with her.

Adrienne on

Ive worked and Ive stayed home. Im not greedy so chasing the money and paychecks was seemingly empty to me. I decided to quit, work on opening up my own business so I can both raise my children and have money. MY CHILDREN are better off now that I’m at home with them. SOME people are terrible parents to it’s better that a day care or a babysitter/nanny raise their children for them. Like I said in a previous article, I travel the world extensively so money is necessary. Thank god I have a capable, supportive, understanding husband.

Kris on

Yeah ladies, it is great being a stay-at-home Mom until for some reason,you two divorce. No job skills and asking for alimony too. Sorry but not all of us can stay at home.

My husband is self-employed and we need medical benefits (and I need to contribute to a retirement plan) so I have chosen to keep my government job and I know my children are well-provided for and very happy. They are in grade school so why not work while they are in school? I get home at 4:30 prepare dinner, which is family time, along with the rest of the evening. We have weekends free and still manage to spend alot of family time together.

If you balance it properly, it works and your children will not resent you. I love my children just as much (if not more) than anyone else who claims to be a ‘better’ mother because they stay at home.

layla on

Did she really want to be a mother, or was she following a trend? I don’t think the problem is with her wanting to work, but rather the way she expresses herself. For someone who soooo wanted a child, she barely mentions the child and focus seems to be on working. There’s a disconnect that some of us a picking up on.

dsfg on

“dsfg, don’t be silly. Of course gender has bearing on chid-rearing skills. I’m just begging for some honesty here. Most men, MOST men, are pretty selfish. Not in a psychotic way, but deep down, they are thinking of what’s in it for them. I know quite a few stay at home dads and they are lacking something. I can’t put it into words.”

You can’t put it into words because your opinion is based on old-fashioned gender stereotypes rather than facts. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but your statements lack any kind of intelligent examples or factual support.

I sure hope that with all the time you spend with your children, you don’t raise them to stereotype or to be sexist like you are. I also hope your daughters realize they have the option to do whatever they want in life (work or have children, or to do both) and that your sons are not raised to think they are not at least 50% responsible for the care and nurturing of their own future children.

showbizmom on

Alice, you know our nanny Mae? That’s wonderful, since you know her you know that she and I had just gone shopping for her wedding dress and that we have spend many many hours outside of our home as friends. So No, she does love my kids to death, and we in turn love her to death.

I should get back to work, YES Alice and all the other haters. I’m at work!!! And my girls??? I’m sure their in West Hollywood getting drunk at the Abbey or with their father. Guess up to you guys to decided……

alice on

dsfg, the stereotypes are not old- fashioned. They are based in truth. Sure, things have changed considerably from 1972 when my grandmother was disturbed when her son pushed the stroller down the street. I don’t know what men you’re hanging around with, and if they truly exist, but in the world I live in, at neighborhood bbq’s, the well-educated, great dads (and I believe they are great dads, they are crazy about their kids) stand around, drinking their beer or g&t’s, and wouldn’t notice if all the kids wandered off into the woods. I don’t think I’m being sexist. I think it’s the truth.

I consider myself a staunch feminist. I am pro-choice, think children should take their mother’s name, don’t let my girls watch Disney crap, show them funky, interesting, movies and encourage them to do sports, play piano, make movies, take pictures, play with lego and of course, go to college. Get a degree, get married and have kids if they want to. And put it all on hold to raise my grandkids. It’s tough being a woman. But we can handle it.

Jennifer on

She adopted I believe

Audrey on

I love Elizabeth Banks, she is so honest and absolute when it comes to parenting.

I personally would feel awful about expecting my husband to go out and spend all day working while I stay at home looking after our two children, while he misses out (where are the rights for dads?). There is more to raising children than just being near them and 24/7. Parenting is a privilege, not a job, mothers can do more than just raise children, working mothers prove that you can raise kids and work every day – you don’t need to stop everything else in life (and I will say within reason as I know you will be busting to pick at that) because you had a child.

To me personally, it should be up to both parents to be providing in EVERY way. I grew up in a family where mother’s worked, and I never felt like I missed out on a thing, and neither did my parents, because OMG, kids CAN actually handle being away from their parents for a few or more hours a day! I feel my children are MORE balanced, independent and happy because I’m not next to them every moment of the day. But this is just my personal opinion, and I hate to see working mothers put down because they want everything for their kids and not, as some of you claimed – just for them, as in the end helps the whole family, and its better to be providing, then just staying at home, doing only one of two jobs that a working mother can do.

Steph on

Quit criticising other mothers! The economy sucks and you don’t know their situation!

Clara on

@dsfg – Wow, you sound like a bitter old maid or someone that cannot keep a marriage. I am probably right, but of course you will deny it.

If you put in 50% in raising a child that’s exactly what you will get, a half a$$ job. You need to put in 100% always.

You are the one who should never have a child.

Elena on

I am shocked that there are so many people on this board spewing tired sexist stereotypes and hatred toward working mothers.

Personally, I work because I am the primary wage earner for my family, and if I did not work, we could not afford to live in a nice area with good schools, pay for a great nanny and save for college tuition. And to be honest, while I do wish I had more time to spend with my daughter, I also remember what it was like when I was home with her all day during my maternity leave, and I felt like my brain was shutting down because of the lack of adult interaction.

I am currently hoping to find a position that would allow me to take a reasonable pay cut for a job with less hours so I can spend more time with my daughter, but I don’t see the need to go to the extreme and quit, to put my family in dire straits financially and to spend all day pretending that being a SAHM is fulfilling when I know it’s not (for me, anyway). But guess what? To find a position like that, in my field, I have to work hard and not have glaring gaps on my resume.

I think a lot of the SAHMs on this board have zero grip on the reality of today’s job market if they think that they can drop out for a few years and then just saunter back in when their kids are in school and they want to work again. Guess what? If you’re out, you’re staying out. There are many many qualified people that did not quit their jobs competing with you, and any sane employer would take them first.

Sam on

I must be a horrible mother to my three year old twins. My husband an I both work full time, both attend graduate school, and (gasp) the twins go to daycare fulltime.

I respect SAHMs but I would never be one. I can’t be a “good” mother if I was in the nut house! My kids drive me crazy sometimes- and you are lying if you can’t say the same. I love them to pieces but I can not be with them 24/7. There is just no way– sometimes I wish daycare was open on the weekends so I could get a nap in! SAHMs must have the patience of a saint!

Yes, our household needs two working parents to support us. Even if we didn’t I would still work just so I could feel like woman and not just a mother and a wife. All thre are important to me, don’t get me wrong. I feel like I couldn’t be the best mother to my chidren if I couldn’t be “me” first. Maybe I’m selfish- but so be it. My children love me and that’s all I need to know I am doing what’s right for MY family.

emilyc on

1-There is a difference between needing to work and just wanting more money and things. Some mothers really do need to work, and they are very strong people, I’m sure. But working because you want another car or because you won’t let a child get in your way just doesn’t seem right.

2-Fathers can be wonderful parents, but (most) fathers parent differently from (most)mothers. YOUNG babies and children need their mothers, fathers don’t have breasts( and NO, breastmilk in a bottle is NOT just as good)!

3- No stranger will love your child like a you or a close relative, it’s just a biological thing.

4- Of course you have a choice, but having it all is never really an option. Choose to have kids, or don’t, but don’t think that you are really raising them when you’re not with them. Let’s just blow the smoke off of it here!

5- Perception is a big thing. Judgement only really exists in the mind of the one feeling judged, why are you feeling judged? People have different opinions, it’s what makes the world go round.

p.s. Meghan, YOU need to get your facts straight, women have been mothers much longer than they have been out working and bringing in paychecks. Just because women in your family all worked outside the home does not make it the norm.

and who ever said SAHM’s are a rich people thing you are mistaken, my grandparents were VERY poor but my grandmother stayed at home and raised 10 children while my grandfather worked.

Just MY OPINION…

emilyc on

…oh and don’t think for one second that I don’t beleive dad’s are important. They should contribute 50% hands on time when it comes to raising thier kids!

meghan on

Alice, I don’t know what men you’re hanging around with, but you sound like you have serious issues with men.

June on

Some of you folks really believe in sterotypes and then say they are based on “facts”. Men are selfish and lazy–may be your reality, but not mine. If you speak out then you are a bitter “old maid”–I don’t even have words for that antiquated term. Just because some women do what women do because of biology (having chldren is only that–a biological function. Being a “mother” is alot deeper and harder), does not make them great or better women or great mothers. Women are better parents–not a fact, some are just as abusive and selfish as men. I worked in a hospital and most of the cases of child abuse were by mothers, not fathers including burns,shaking, beating, etc. Now that is a fact. Both sexes can be selfish and violent.

Parents should raise their daughters to have brains, think for themselves and not think that being married will gurantee lifelong commitment or security. Sometimes husbands die–my father did–and thank God my had a profession and could suuport us, leave or sometimes mothers leave. It is hard being a womam, but let’s not put ourselves on pedestals to act superior to others whether they do or do not have chldren (please spare me the “I am a real woman and superior because I have chidren” and you don’t line of thinking), work or stay at home. They should raise their sons to respect women and themselves, but not think they are lousy parents because they are men and raising children is “women’s work”.

Yes, some men are jerks and should not re-produce, but women are not always perfect parents either–the only fact that cannot be questioned.

Grace2 on

I’m a SAHM (who’s rarely home :) who is so VERY, VERY, VERY thankful for working moms, in particular, my son’s speech therapist, his teachers at his amazing school, his physical and occupational therapists, etc. He’s my wonder boy who, despite having seemingly insurmountable challenges, has achieved every milestone we thought he would not. Why? Because amazing, skilled women, (me included) have helped him and pushed him to achieve his best. I am so glad women can go get advanced degrees to make the world a better place. And I’m also thankful that women who want to and are able, have the choice to “stay at home.”

Again ladies, read the Hunger Games. Awesome book!

soph on

Look at Clara go…

“@Erika- I hope you don’t have any children.
@Kelli – You must not have children.
@dsfg – You are the one who should never have a child.”

Give it up, hon.

Clara on

I think the “old maid” crack is called sarcasm.

Poor soph can’t come up with anything original.

Sarah K. on

Grace2, beautifully said

RachelfromBoston on

My husband plans to stay home with the baby because he can work from home when I return to my office (just up the street from our home).

I feel lucky that I can work and be a mother. I also feel fortunate that my son will have a really close bond with his father as well.

Indira on

Lisa,

“BUT — a working mom or dad cannot say s/he is a primary caregiver when that person isn’t home 8+ hours of the day.”

Following your logic then anyone who has their preschool-high school age children in school isn’t a primary caregiver and, from school age on their teachers are the primary caregivers. You make no sense.

soph on

Lol, Clara, are you that dense? Unoriginality starts with you ;)

Janna on

@LM

Sorry, I should have specified that I was talking about infants not school-age children. People who have a child, then have a nanny hired by the time the kid is two weeks old are…. I don’t know… weird? Why have the kid?

And once again: Nobody is putting down people who HAVE TO WORK. We’re talking about people who, by choice, have a child then leave it for 40, 50, 60 hours a week for whatever reason. And I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m talking about the dads as much as the moms.

I don’t know why people argue about this. Make your decision and if you TRULY believe it’s right, then why would what anyone else thought even matter to you? The people who get insulted by other people’s opinions are those that aren’t truly at peace with their decision (be it having a stay-at-home parent or both parents working).

Cecelia on

Some people thoroughly enjoy their careers. It doesn’t mean they’re bad parents or love their children less than a parent who chooses to stay at home with his/her child.

Janna, perhaps people are getting defensive because you are, essentially, stating that they are not as good as their counterparts who don’t work. What if someone made a blanket statement regarding all stay at home mothers saying how they were foolish because they weren’t living up to their full potential as human beings or they were stupid because any time spent attending a college or university was all for nothing. Others would be outraged but unfortunately, people like you find no problem doing the exact same to people who don’t agree with your stance on the topic.

dsfg on

Alice, you aren’t a feminist because feminists believe that men and women are equal. Feminists believe that men and women have the same capabilities. Having a sexist attitude is not compatible with the feminist movement. And your statements are NOT the truth, they are opinions that you have offered no facts with which to support them.

dsfg on

“People who have a child, then have a nanny hired by the time the kid is two weeks old are…. I don’t know… weird? Why have the kid?”

Janna, it’s pretty normal to want to have a career AND children. I’m not saying that’s possible for everyone, but it certainly isn’t weird to have the desire to do both.

dsfg on

“@dsfg – Wow, you sound like a bitter old maid or someone that cannot keep a marriage. I am probably right, but of course you will deny it.

If you put in 50% in raising a child that’s exactly what you will get, a half a$$ job. You need to put in 100% always.

You are the one who should never have a child.”

Wow, Clara, I never said that you shouldn’t have a child . . . that’s really mean-spirited. I also never said anything about my home situation. As a matter of fact, I have two small children and I work part time from my home. And I would never tell someone they should never have a child just because their views are different than mine . . .

alice on

dsfg,

You blew off everything I said, claiming I’m not a feminist. A true feminist stands up for women. And I’m sorry if you think I’m not standing up for women if I profoundly disagree with their decision to let someone else pick their kids up from school or let them sit in an after school program until 6 when they’ve been in school 8 hours already. I’m not down with that.

And I adore my husband. He loves women, thinks they’re funny and insightful and is honest enough to say he couldn’t stay home with the kids all day. I can easily stay home with my kids all day, and look forward to picking them up at 3pm when school starts up.

I guess, to be honest, I feel I am the best person to guide them through this life. To introduce them to good music, film, art. And someone hired to take care of them is not going to have the passion I have to impart this stuff to them.

This discussion has really led me to believe staying home isn’t for everyone and if you don’t find your children infinitely interesting and worthwhile, you should have them in a daycare or with a nanny. They will probably be better off.

M on

I have nothing against stay at home moms, but I feel sorry for them. Its quite sad when your only life purpose is to be a mother. What about when the kids are older and can take care of themselves? Let’s suppose a woman’s children are all grown up by the time she is 45, what is the woman going to spend the next 30 years of her life doing? What if the woman gets divorced from her husband, who is going to support her financially? Is she going to demand more child support and live off of that? Is she going to apply for government aid? Both of those are despicable actions.

For maximum mental and physical health, a person requires constant stimulation, something to keep their brain function at its highest level. What is the purpose of life when you have no skills outside of the home and you contribute nothing to society? I’d feel horrible about myself if I didn’t work. Sure, work can be stressful, but I’d be bored and I would feel incomplete if I had nothing to challenge myself with day in and day out.

I just want to reiterate that I respect stay at home mothers, and I believe that they have the right to choose whatever they want. Don’t get offended by my comment, I can’t help how I feel. I’m not trying to insult anybody. The only reason I brought this up is because the stay at home mothers started insulting working moms!

I was raised by a working mom and I turned out just fine. I was not raised by a nanny. I’ve never even been looked after by a nanny in my life. My parents both only worked 5 days a week/8 hours a day for most of my childhood, so I saw them more than enough. They were always there for me to help with homework, to hear about my day, to help me with any problems I may have had, etc. When my parents were at work, I was looked after by my grandmother, but I was certainly not raised by her. My parents can take credit for most of what I’ve accomplished and achieved in my life. They shaped me into who I am today.

I didn’t go to pre-school until I was 4 years old, and to be honest, I have NO memories prior to 4 years of age, so what is the big deal that my parents weren’t with me 24//7 during that portion of my life? From 4-18, I was in school for most of the day, so what would my mother have needed to be at home for? My parents got home from work around the same time I got home from school, so we saw each other for many hours in the afternoon and evening.

SAHM who are against working moms- Does my childhood that I described above sound traumatizing? Would I have turned out better being raised by a SAHM?

alice on

M,

“You contribute nothing to society”. What is society if not human beings? If we invest our time and passion and knowledge in our children, our “human capital”, this world would look a lot better right now. We are ignoring our children in our quest for personal fulfillment and things aren’t looking so great.

More kids suffer from anxiety and are being medicated for years, they are committing suicide, they are being bullied, they are not being taken care of in the way they deserve. They are left to their own devices, and today those devices are the internet, Youtube, Facebook. Crazy stuff is out there and kids aren’t being monitored. I don’t know why people think that’s o.k.

We need to protect them and I don’t mean sheltering them. It means being home when they get home, especially from fifth grade on when they are most vulnerable. Why do some feel they will be just fine? This is a very different world from the one most of us grew up in. Maybe it was easier in the 80′s, we weren’t one click away from pornography and bloody, violent games. (I miss PacMan). If kids were left at home, they’d watch Brady Bunch or Gilligan’s Island.

Please look past this sounding old fashioned. Times are different. They require diligence. And we can’t afford to let these kids raise themselves.

emilyc on

@ M. WOW! What ignorant comments you’ve just made. Obviously your parents neglected to teach you about some very important things. Saying that stay at home mothers contribute nothing to society is the most ignorant thing I’ve heard said in a long time. Child rearing is one of THE most important contribution to society, after all children are the future adults who will run our world and how they are treated in their early years is VITAL to how they will be as adults. And just because you don’t remember your first 4 years of life does not by any means mean that they are not important, in fact if you did any kind of research in to child development, you’d know that the first 3-5 years are THE most important years of all! So it is maybe YOU, M, who must feel horrible about yourself for spouting such words without the proper knowledge.

And ya, I’m a stay at home mom…. who is able to and chooses to put a career on hold during my children’s vital years. It is possible to have a career and kids and women should be able to have both,just not at the same time. IMO a career can wait, small babies and kids need present parents. (and yes I know some people really don’t have a choice….I sympathise.)

Anonymous on

“To introduce them to good music, film, art. And someone hired to take care of them is not going to have the passion I have to impart this stuff to them.”

Alice, this one made me giggle. As if my children are incapable of learning about art or music outside of the hours of 9-5, M-F. In fact, our very loving part-time nanny has taught them a foreign language, and their very own father (who is, in fact, competent and then some at caring for his own children and who stayed home with our oldest two for the first two years of their lives when I — GASP! — chose to return to my job) has taught them how to swing a golf club and a baseball bat and how to care for our yard and garden, and their paternal grandparents have taken them to museums and puppet shows and the beach and the zoo. All while I’m working. I’m quite confident that these people are loving and passionate caregivers who are introducing my children to a wide, wide world in which many adults love and teach and care for them, not just their mother.

And when the older two get off the bus every afternoon, I’m there to meet them, so I have ample opportunity to do my own “imparting.” Their lives are terribly rich, BECAUSE of, not despite, the fact that I spend several hours a day pursuing my career.

Kristen on

I already had zero respect for stay-at-home-my-entire-life-revolves-around-my-kids-and-my-husband-because-I-have-no-life-of-my-own moms, but thanks to all of you bitter, lonely housewives, I have less than zero.

I was proud as a child that, when asked what my mother did for a living, I could answer that she was an accountant. I always felt sorry for the kids who had to admit that their mothers didn’t do anything but stay at home all day. Ouch!

Toya L. on

@Anonymous – Your husband sounds like the man I am blessed with.

My children will have tons of memories of us doing things together, doing things with their dad and doing things as a family. They will never be able to say, I can’t remember or I only remember a few times when dad took us outside, took us to dance and acting class, going to the beach, gave us baths, read to us, said our prayers together, watched movies together etc…. I don’t have to ask him to help because he is always on it, he is as capable if not more capable of taking care of our children than I am and I can’t thank God enough for him.

Kristen on

CB, guilty much? You’re the one spending time on the internet obsessing over an actress you don’t know instead of taking care of your kids. I’m not the one who needs to be convinced that you’re a good mother.

alice on

Anonymous, I don’t care what you do all day as long as you pick them up off the bus after school. Good for you. You’re not such a terrible mother after all! And I’m glad everyone else in your life is around and willing to do your job. Why don’t you want to be the one to take them to museums and teach them to throw a ball? I’m curious.

Kristen, that’s great your mom was an accountant. You must be incredibly proud. You must not have truly liked her very much if you were happy to see her go off all day to crunch numbers. Inspiring. Man, do I enjoy myself all day while they’re at school. Reading, cooking, going to the movies. I am seriously the happiest person in the world because I take care of myself during the day, and devote the rest of my time to my children. You all got brainwashed into thinking that working will make you happy. Now our economy is such that you feel you have to work to keep up with your neighbor. You all must take your kids to Disney, you must drive a certain car, your kids have to have a Wii, etc. They only way to provide them with these “necessities” is for you to work alongside your husband, making less than he does per hour and taking it. How come women aren’t screaming in the streets for pay equality? Why do you just take it?

Anonymous on

Jeez, Alice, your worldview is based on some crazy assumptions. I take my children to the park and to their swimming lessons and to the library — sometimes. And other times, another adult who loves them is the one behind the wheel. I’m an excellent mother. I’m also an excellent lawyer, and I spend large chunks of my professional time doing pro bono work for women suffering from cancer or other medical issues who are fighting custody battles. I thank my lucky stars, and I bet my clients do too, that my (loving, wonderful, WORKING) mother raised me to believe that I could do it all. (I am the product of DAYCARE. Oh, the horrors!)

Liz on

It seems some have completely inaccurate views of what working mothers are capable of. My wonderful, amazing, devoted mother worked full time – and also had time to teach me about art, read me books, play with me, and do pretty much anything else a mother would do. As a child, I learned more from her than I did from anyone else. I’m very proud that my mother was and is a successful professional, but at the same time I always knew that I was her #1 priority.

I don’t see the need to lash out at working mothers and accuse them of somehow disliking their children when, from most of the working mothers I know, that couldn’t be farther from the truth. Likewise, I think it’s great if people are stay-at-home moms too, and see no reason for that to be a bad thing. When I look around at the people I grew up going to school with, it was about 50/50 working moms and stay-at-home moms, and it never seemed to me that one type was a better mother than the other. So why put anybody down? I think most mothers are just trying to do their best.

Holiday on

My mom worked full time when I was growing up and it was fine, I didnt know any better. However when I had kids I knew that I wanted to be the one home with them, teaching them, playing with them, going on adventures to the park with them. I didnt want a nanny or daycare doing those things.

Now some moms have to work and do not have a choice and I totally understand that. Luckily I didnt have to, I had a choice and I have been choosing to stay at home with my 5 and 1 year old since the older child was born. I love it and would never have it any other way! I witness all the “firsts” in their lives and my kids and I have a great time together. There will be a time when they are in school full time that I will probably have to go back to work, but for now I am staying at home and loving it.

M you do not think raising the future generations is an important job?? I cant think of a MORE important job!!

Indira on

M

That is something I’ve wondered too that many SAHM’s don’t address. What do they do when their children are in school for 6-8 hours a day?

Holiday on

Kristin you were proud to say your mom was an accountant??? My mom is and has always been a college professor (since I was a baby) and as a child I would have much rather her been at home with me and been there when I got home from school then been able to brag about her job!!

Kristen on

Yes, Alice, I am very proud of my mother. Proud that while I was at school all day she was out living her own life instead of sitting on her ass watching soap operas waiting for the kids and her husband to come home so she’d have something to do. I’m proud that she didn’t live her life vicariously through mine. I’m proud that I learned to be an independent woman instead of a house frau. She’s an amazing woman and, thanks to her, so am I.

Kristen on

Well, Holiday, that’s the difference between us. I wasn’t a needy, clingy child who needed my mommy there every second of every day. And as a result I didn’t grow into a needy woman who needs a man to complete and define me, a fact which my husband is grateful for as he’s not a control freak who expects the little woman to be home barefoot and pregnant while he’s out in the great big world earning the money and making all of the decisions.

And all of this reminds me that I need to give my mom a call and thank her again for being so wonderful. I learned so much from her and I respect and love her so much because she is who she wants to be and not who anyone else thinks she should be. Three cheers for independence!

Clara on

@dsfg – Talk about being able to dish it, but can’t take it.

Holiday on

Kristen I can tell you are not a mother. Your opinion on stay at home moms vs working moms really doesnt count until you have your own child. Once you do please post on here again and see how it feels to leave a 12 week old newborn into the hands of a day care provider while you go back to working 8-5 every day. Once my kids are in school I will go back to work but no way in hell am I leaving my baby girl with a stranger.

Anonymous on

The “leaving my baby with a stranger” thing makes me scratch my head too. I mean, it’s not as if you’re dropping them off at the side of the highway and hoping someone will wander by and take pity on them. Our nanny isn’t a “stranger.” She’s been with our family part-time for more than two years, she sleeps over in our guest room the night before the kids’ birthdays because she wants to wake up with our family on their special day, and she joins us on Christmas and comes in on her days off to have lunch with the kids. She’s basically a big sister, only more patient.

I don’t care whether you work outside the home or not, what mother wouldn’t want those extra layers of love and attention in their children’s lives?? Nannies and daycare providers sure get a bad rap from so many of the SAHMs around here, but most of the childcare providers I’ve known are 1000% committed to the little ones in their care and love them fiercely.

Kelli on

What makes me scratch my head is so many of these SAHM’s just assume they’ll be able to waltz back into the workplace on a whim. Maybe you will, I don’t know. Perhaps your career is in a high-demand field, and you can do that. But what if you can’t? You will be going up against other candidates who have chosen to remain in the workplace, making networking connections, keeping up on the latest technology, and probably won’t need much re-training. What will you say to your interviewer when asked the question: “Why should I hire you?” An employer would be foolish to choose someone who has not worked in the field for several years over someone who has.

And something else: What happens if your husband dies? How will you feed your kids, pay your mortgage? Do you have life insurance or savings? What happens when your husband divorces you? Think it can’t happen to you? Get your head out of la la land- it happens every day.

I’ll be the first to admit I don’t have children yet, but when I do get married and have kids, as a practical, realistc woman, I am damn sure going to be confident that I will be able to support myself and kids on my own, should the need ever arise. All thanks to the person I admire most in life- my mom- for not depending on someone else for her livelihood. P.S. My parents are happily married for thirty years, and my mom has always been the primary breadwinner. (Oh, the horror!)

Holiday on

Kelli I do have a college degree so that helps plus when my husbands grandpa died recently he left us enough money so that we would be set for years. I know thats not the case with everyone though but for us I would have that money if something were to happen to my husband.

Anon I think that is great you have a good nanny. But when you first started using her she was basically a stranger right? Or is it someone you have known for years? I truly do not trust people with my kids. No one loves your kids as much as you do. Not even the most experienced nanny. My friend had to go back to work. She didnt have a choice even though she would have loved to stay home with her baby boy. She found what she thought was good day care. Her husband went to pick the baby up from day care when he was 8 months and walked in the house like he always does and asked the lady where the baby was. He was in a completely dark bedroom, so dark you could not see a thing and was screaming covered in his own vomit in the crib. The daycare provider said the 8 month old “was being a brat” so she put him in there on a time out. Who knows how often this kind of thing goes on! On the news you often see of day care providers who shake babies to death, or the lady in Texas who left her entire day care to go shopping and there was a fire and 7 babies died.

I know for sure I am taking wonderful care of my kids and so for me its the best decision. Plus we have so much fun together. Just yesterday I took my 5 year old and 15 month old to the Academy of Science in San Fran and we spent the day there looking at fish, taking apart owl pellets and watching an astronomy show~ I love being able to do that kind of stuff daily.

Kristen on

Guess what, Holiday? You’re wrong yet again. I have two kids. I don’t leave my kids with strangers. I get assistance as needed from people I know and trust. I’m sorry you’d have to leave your kid with a random stranger. Then again, if you can’t provide proper care for your child whether you work or not, you shouldn’t have children to begin with.

Holiday on

I dont know anyone who does childcare ( not that I would leave them anyway but hypothetically speaking) and I dont have family who could watch them so…. I would have to leave them with someone I dont know! That would be a stranger? Get it? Probably not you do not seem very smart.

Holiday on

Also I find it funny that you never once mention being a working mom in all your posts. You mention time and time again how your mother worked but never mention your kids until I call you out.

Kristen on

Aw, Holiday, honey, just because someone doesn’t agree with every word you spew doesn’t mean they’re not very smart. It’s called having an opinion. And while you operate under the belief that everyone’s opinion is wrong if it differs from yours, that’s not how it works in the great big world. You know, that big thing that’s spinning full of people out living their lives and not being shut-ins obsessed with an infant?

Anonymous on

Holiday, I didn’t have a nanny in my back pocket just waiting for the arrival of my children. We found our nanny through a lot of homework and careful vetting (and I’m willing to bet that most two-working-parent families go through a similar process). If you were *hypothetically* to decide to leave them in someone else’s care for a few hours on a regular basis, I promise you that if you chose wisely, that person wouldn’t be a stranger for long, they’d be a beloved friend or almost-family-member who’d only reinforce your children’s belief that they’re surrounded by loving adults.

It’s not a competition — *I* don’t lose out if my kids know that other people love them too, and *they* certainly don’t lose out by being loved by MORE people. Just like they say a parent’s heart grows to accommodate equal amounts of love for more than one child, I know my children’s hearts are filled with love for all of the siblings, extended family, teachers, nannies/sitters, and friends who fill their days. In my opinion, that’s a very good thing for them.

Kristen on

Actually, Holiday, I owe you an apology. I just read your last comment again. You have no friends, no family, no one to help with your kids. You actually remind me of an old friend. Luckily for me she was the kind of friend who lived across the country.

Her entire life revolved around her kid. She couldn’t take a poop without asking her husband how many times to wipe her butt. And he did exactly what I thought he would do. He divorced her the day their kid moved out which was the day their kid turned 18. Me thinks your spawn are headed down the same path. Good luck in the work force and the world in general when you’re completely alone with nothing to do and no one to do it with.

Holiday on

Kristin my mom WORKS like I thought you said yours did. My sister WORKS and my friends are stay at home moms with their own kids.

I love my life and feel so blessed. You are bitter and jealous of people who can stay at home with their kids or probably just wishing you could have kids of your own. GEEZ woman how old are you that your friends have kids that are 18 years old??

Holiday on

Anon I dont think anything is wrong with what you did. Same goes for my decisions. We are both moms trying to do what is best for our families. You are polite and considerate unlike other posters and I bet your nanny is great to your kids.

Anonymous on

I appreciate that, Holiday. I completely agree that we’re all making the best choices we possibly can for our families. I only hope that by the time my daughters are grown and facing these decisions for their own families, we’ll all be at a point where we support each other in those choices instead of name-calling and bashing. Hey, a girl can dream…

Holiday on

Kristin I am not going to argue with you anymore. My baby is awake and we are off to the park. Im surprised a woman like you can find the time to get on the computer all day with such high power job like you have. Besides you are too thick headed to even have a debate with and just keep making up crap you have no idea about, like I have no friends and family. Just because I do not personally know any day care providers you assume I have no friends. Only a idiot would much such a big assumption. And my husband is happy I stay home with our kids because I am happy and our kids are happy. We have a great relationship and he supports what I want to do. Well off to the park!

Kristen on

Holiday, now you are babbling and have completely lost me. But that doesn’t surprise me since you spend your days with children and don’t have any adult interaction aside from asking your husband what he wants for dinner.

All the best to you and really all the best to your kids because they are well on their way to being some messed up people. Just what the world needs.

emilyc on

@Kristen”I already had zero respect for stay-at-home-my-entire-life-revolves-around-my-kids-and-my-husband-because-I-have-no-life-of-my-own moms, but thanks to all of you bitter, lonely housewives, I have less than zero.”

Wow, you’re hateful, stereotyping, ignorant and derogatory comments make you sound like a person I would have Zero respect for. But since these are only comments, and not the person behind them, I’ll show you some respect and not speak to you the way I really feel like.

I wonder if your mother would be proud of all of your disrespectful comments? Your math skills, thanks to your mother, might be perfect, but it sure sounds like you missed out on some other very important lessons. I’ll let you figure out what those lessons could be, ( don’t worry, you’ll figure it out, after all you are a working woman with far more intelligence than us dumb old stay at home moms.)

Anyway, I will try and walk away from this thread before I get sucked in too far here, but I just wanted you to know Kristin, that you might want to check yourself a little here and show some genuine human decency and respect. There is a way of letting your opinion be known and you can be direct about it without spouting off garbage. It makes you come across as a pretty nasty human being. I hope you aren’t teaching your kids the same kind of intolerance you’ve shown here. The world does not need any more of that.

emilyc on

yah, I know….I meant your not you’re……

soph on

emilyc: “I’ll show you some respect”? You are hilarious.

emilyc on

Soph, yes trust me, my comments could have been alot harsher. Glad I could make you laugh, but my comments were not directed towards you, so respectfully butt out, would you. thanks.

soph on

Lol! I don’t have to do anything you say, dear. Sorry to disappoint!

Clara on

Soph your such a troll.

soph on

And you’re just plain ol’ boring, Clara. :)

Kristen on

I’m hoping this finally died out because all of you stay-at-home moms finally stepped away from the soaps and computers, went outside, and started trying to lose some of that baby weight you gained so your husbands may show interest in you again. Good luck!

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