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Christina Applegate: ‘It’s Been So Rough’ Heading Back to Work

08/03/2011 at 04:00 PM ET
Nikki Nelson/WENN

Christina Applegate‘s latest sitcom hits close to home.

The new mom, 39, stars opposite Will Arnett in NBC’s Up All Night, a show about a couple who struggles to balance their home and work lives while raising their baby.

Getting back to work since giving birth to Sadie Grace in January has “been so rough,” Applegate tells PEOPLE. “It’s a really hard thing to do because you miss them. But I’m doing well.”

Even though the actress seems excited about her latest endeavor, her 6-month-old daughter with fiancé Martyn LeNoble remains her number one priority.

“Parenthood just changed me in the sense that nothing really matters but [Sadie],” Applegate explains.

“None of it really matters. The importance I placed on things prior to this moment, they don’t matter anymore. All that matters is I get to go in there in the morning and see her face. She smiles at me and my life is better.”

– Dahvi Shira

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Showing 59 comments

Anonymous on

Awww!! She hs come such a long way from Married With Children. Great to see that she has only gotten prettier with age.

Trisha on

I agree!!!

Heather on

Christina looks so beautiful and happy. Glad she got her sweet little bundle. The new show sounds cute and Will Arnett is a scream. Will be tuning in.

LA MIMIM on

I am so sick of these celebs bitching about how they HAVE to go back to work after a baby. Try living in the real world where you actually have a stipulated amount of maternity leave that that is it!

look on

I love how she says “It’s a really hard thing to do because you miss them. But I’m doing well.” What about Sadie? How does the six-month-old feel about you being away from her all day so that you can star in a television show?

Katherine Hepburn knew you couldn’t have it all as an actress, i.e., motherhood and acting. Yet somehow, nobody in this generation seems aware of the fact. Motherhood is a job, not something done in one’s spare time in between work and sleep.

K on

I LOVE her! She is beautiful but does not mind making fun of herself at all. I can’t wait to see more photos of the little one as she gets older. Best of luck with the new show! I will certainly be checking it out.

nicennifty2002 on

Leave the woman alone, she’s been through enough. She is gorgeous and I bet she is a fantastic mom.

Deb on

Boy, there sure are a few grumpy people on this site. Everyone’s situation and reality are different, and we have no idea what hers is. She may have less money than you assume or she may be contractually required to do a series at a certain or she may have made the choice to be a working mother. I went back to work at 3 months with my first child and stayed home for two years with my second. Both my children are grown and well adjusted, happy people. My dad is a pediatrician and he supported me in both situations. Try being happy for her instead of being holier than thou or bitter.

methree on

look….um, her 6 month old daughter probably feels the same way any 6 month old would feel when their parent has to go to work. what a ridiculous comment. who cares if she is filming a tv show or working as a teller in a bank. Its not like she said “its so hard to have to leave my baby and go out clubbing, but i’m getting through it” Geez, give her a break!

twinmom on

omg people, leave her alone! she sounds like every other mom i’ve ever talked to who goes back to work, whether they need to or want to, it’s hard! geez!

Crys on

I was so bummed when they cancelled Samantha Who. That was a great show.

Lisa on

Wow “Look” is it. This is not 1950. We have choices now. I have been a stay at home mom to my three kids but why is is that ignorant woman like you do not understand that we are all on the same team and we need to support one another. To each there own. Working mothers do not love their children any less than Mom’s who stay home. We all have to make decisions based on what is best for our families. Celebrity or not. Having a profession outside of the home doesn’t make you any less of a mother. I think she is great. More power to her and all of the Mom’s who are doing the best that we can!

LAURA on

She has been through a lot so it’s wonderful to see her healthy and happy!

look on

Lisa, we’re not all on the same page apparently. And the Katherine Hepburn interview was from the 1970s. There’s that “ignorant” line women like you love to throw out there when someone can see the job of motherhood is not taken as seriously as it used to be. In fact, it’s so not important that women can easily work outside the home–that is, not raise them themselves–without any impact on the family.

Heck, you can juggle everything with motherhood these days because being a mother is simply just not good enough. That being there with and for your child when their little is simply not as important as being in the office.

This does not apply to women who HAVE to work, such as widows, single moms or those married to husbands whose paycheck doesn’t allow any other way.

look on

My point is that she most likely doesn’t HAVE TO work, yet would rather spend the time filming a television show than raising her daughter. She’s given a choice, and she chooses to spend her time away playing a role instead of a mom.

don’t mean to throw CA under the bus but this is a real problem these days: people disregarding the work of motherhood, treating it as an easily disposable task handed off without consequence to sometimes total strangers. There’s a real bias out there in certain areas that unless you’ve got a profession besides your children, you’re a little or a lot more less than because being a mother shouldn’t be your top priority.

Canada on

Can’t wait for the new show….thrilled she decided to go back to work…..and I’m a work-from-home mom!

RKF on

@Look- nicely put, and I completely agree with you.

dsfg on

look, what about fathers? Should they stay at home too?

PTD on

To the ladies blasting working mothers:

I am proud to say that I work, and I have a beautiful, brilliant almost-2-year-old (and another on the way). I am proud to say that my career is important to me. I CHOOSE to work – I enjoy my career, and am proud that I can achieve a balance between motherhood and work, and I am proud that I will have my career when my children go off to kindergarten and being a SAHM is no longer an option. This does not mean “someone else is raising my child.” By that rationale, is a stay-at-home-mother whose child is in preschool “not raising her child”?

Why must we judge each other in this manner? I have many friends who are working mothers, and a few who stay at home. All of our children are happy, loving, and well-adjusted.

If you want to stay at home and raise your children, more power to you. I think that’s wonderful – but it’s rather callous to essentially say that you’re a better mother than a woman who chooses to work because “other people are raising” her child. Motherhood is challenging whether you work or stay at home – let’s just support each others’ choices.

robin on

Maybe the father is staying home with the baby. at any rate, she went through hell with her masectomy, and i am SO happy she is healthy now with a baby. i cant believe people are saying mean things about her. How she lives her life is not YOUR business.

Jillian on

I have no issues with each person doing there own thing….its their own life. The “they don’t have to work” comments are ridiculous because none of us are in their world and know their lives.

What bothers me is when one celeb works and they are defended and another works and they are bashed. The double standards annoy me. Not saying it is happening here, but it often happens, when people like the person.

Sarah on

I visit this site a few times a day to look for news for my job. At this point, I get a kick out of clicking the comments to see if I guess what people are gonna complain about.

Are they gonna complain about how she dresses her kid? Are they gonna complain about how she is not a real world mom because she is a celebrity? Are they gonna complain about the name? Are they gonna complain because she exposes her kid too much or keeps it hidden away? Are they gonna complain because the person wants to adopt a baby from this country instead of that one? Are they gonna complain because she’s too young or too old to be having a baby? Are they gonna complain because she has too many children? Are they gonna complain about some stupid comment that was funny and take it out of context? Are they gonna take a comment that was meant to be sweet or kind and turn it into an issue? Are they gonna complain about the fact that she shops at a certain store? Are they gonna complain about the fact the fact that there is/isn’t a nanny? Are they gonna complain about the fact that the baby’s wearing the wrong color hairbow?

Holy crap! Get a life (including me – I need to stop clicking these comments and get back to work)!!

I visit a lot of political sites and some of you guys are worse than the idiots who post there.

Natasha on

She has overcomed so much and now she has a baby. Most ordinary people who have a normal 9 to 5 job has not gone through what she has. All I can say is I am happy for her, and I wish her all the best.

MommytoanE on

Lets not muddy Katharine Hepburn’s name. She was quoted as saying she would have been a terrible mother, due to her selfishness. She also didn’t believe in marriage. Katharine was a very independent woman.

And please, if you are going to quote Katharine Hepburn, at least have the decency to spell her name properly.

There are a lot of successful mothers out there. Kudos to every single one of you who sacrifice to work.

As for Christina, I think its sweet she’s entered into motherhood and the obsession with her child. Nothing is greater than seeing the smiling face of the little love in your life.

Phoebe on

look, You’re crazy. I am a working mom and my son actually loves daycare. They have all sorts of new toys and he’s learning to get along with others. It’s great that you value being home for your kids and if that’s what you want to do, great! But don’t criticize women who want to work. This is not the 1950s anymore. I admire Christina Applegate for being a great mom and doing what she loves as well.

Valerie on

Look- I was thinking the same thing as you about her comment
““It’s a really hard thing to do because you miss them. But I’m doing well.” How about: “It’s a really hard thing to do because THEY miss you.” And how is her daughter doing? We don’t really know because she is only 6 months old. Maybe she is being cared for by her father or by another family member rather than a nanny though- that would be a relief.

Canada- why would you be thrilled that she returned to work- that seems a little bit too enthusiastic. Even some feminists often respond to such a thing by saying it is the woman’s choice to stay home or not, but not that they are “thrilled” that a woman has returned to work.

Eli on

@ Look, I completely agree with you as well, her baby could care less about a television show, she wants her mommy! And just because women have choices these days doesnt mean she should choose to have a baby and not raise it, choose to have your baby when you can stay home with him or her and be there for all their little needs, not let the hired help do it.

Kim on

Wow, some of you sound bitter. Just because a woman has a baby it doesn’t mean she has to give up everything else in her life. Women ARE allowed to have a career aside from motherhood. It’s 2011..not 1911. She’s been an actress most of her life and she obviously enjoys it. Who makes a better mommy..someone who has a happy, fulfilling life..or someone who grows bitter because they are stuck at home 24/7 with nobody to talk to but a baby? I’m guessing the first.

jes on

I’m guessing if I had a child I’d have to go back to work because of not being able to affording being a 1 income family. Would I rather be home with said child, yes I’m sure I would but I’d rather provide that child with food on the table and a home to live in than a stress out parent worrying about where his/her next meals coming from.

I grew up in a two parent working home and had a very comfortable childhood. In the evenings, weekends & vacations, when I was w/my mom she was w/me completly not worrying about anything but loving me and my dad. I was lucky I wasn’t put in public child care I had grandparents who were able to watch me when I was little then before/after school, I know I was lucky and should I ever have a child I hope to give him/her the same quality of life and love that I was given. I lost my mom several yrs ago, but my memory bank is full of incredible memories I made with her.

I’m sure C.A. situation is not like this, I’m sure finiancially she is well off and can afford nannies when she’s working, but the article doesn’t say she pawns the baby off, for all we know she takes Sadie to the lot and only leaves her w/a care giver when she’s actually on set taping or running lines in rehersals. It isn’t our place to judge as we do not know the behind the scenes of her situation. I think for all that she’s been through, like all other cancer survivors, she deserves the best of the best.

Anna on

The interview is one big contradiction. The last paragraph does not match her life. If nothing matters anymore but her baby than why go back to work when you don’t really have to?

I honestly don’t mind people going back to work after baby. But I believe at least one parent should stay home for the first few years if it is possible.

SP on

It sounds to me like some of the stay-at-home moms here may have gotten some judgment from others and it has made them bitter. Instead, why doesn’t everyone try to be proud of the choices you have made without trying to tear down those who make different choices? “look”, I don’t think you are ignorant, but I do think you have a very closed mind.

I have friends who are stay-at-home moms (a full-time job), and friends who work outside the home and take care of their families at night (also a full-time job). They all work very hard to do what they believe to be best for their families. They do not judge each other for their respective choices…why do you have to judge a complete stranger?

None of us knows what has led to Christina’s choice, and frankly it isn’t our business, either. As long as she’s making a decision she believes is right for HER family, who are we to judge?

Karen on

To everyone bashing mothers for working; first of all this is 2011. Not families are having a difficult time raising children with 2 incomes; it is nearly impossible to do it with only 1 income.

I am the mother of 2 young children and 6 months pregnant with my third (and final). I choose to have a career before my children were born, and choose to continue my career after their arrival in order to keep them in safe home, driving in a safe car, and to provide them things like insurance. My husband has a good job; as do I, and we would not be able to maintain our life without both incomes.

Some people make references to the 50-70’s era. It was possible to have a family at that point in time with only one income. For 95% of the population today, it’s not an option.

Every bodies life is different; people need to respect the fact that what works with your family may not work for another and get over yourselves for thinking yours is better than anyone elses. We are ALL JUST TRYING TO GIVE OUR CHILDREN A BETTER LIFE.

Eli on

Sorry, but the hired help is not going to love and care for your baby like you could, I am sure someone else could take your place at the office, there are probably 100 people that could do your job at the office, but “Mommy” is just not going to be replaced.

And yes, if you work and only see your baby part time, then yes I am a better mother, because I am there full time. If you worked part time at your “career” I am certain that you could not do it better than someone who was there “fulltime”… Get off the feminists bandwagon, sure you can work, but dont let your baby make the sacrifice!

look on

As for the Katherine Hepburn interview, I didn’t muddle what she said in regard to motherhood. She understood that you can’t have it all, meaning you can’t give yourself 100% to both a career and motherhood. It just doesn’t work. Check out the Dick Cavett interview she did back in the 70s. She doesn’t muddle her words.

Why is it so “ignorant” or “crazy” to believe that motherhood is a full time job best performed by mothers instead of daycare center employees or nannies? How did we arrive at this point where we’re convinced a woman can give 100% to both motherhood and a career, or that it just doesn’t matter if we don’t give 100% to raising our child, 60% will do, giving another 40% to a job outside the home.

Let’s just be honest like Hepburn and admit, you can’t have it all. Especially in television because the hours are GRUELING. It requires so much of your time, energy, and self. So sacrifice the fame, sacrifice the applause for a few years, maybe just three or four, and focus on the child when she needs you most. Because in a few years–years that go by super fast–she’s not going to need you as much.

Deb on

As I commented earlier, I have been both a working and a stay at home mom and some of my friends stayed home while others returned to worked.
Eli, just because you stay at home does not automatically make you a better mother than someone else. I have seen mothers who stayed at home who did a wonderful job of nurturing their baby, others who were so rigid and uptight that the home was without joy at all, and still others who were there but spent more time making sure the house was clean than playing with their baby. I have also seen mothers who worked part time or full time who were wonderful mothers, great at nurturing their child.

Each family’s experience and situation are different. Caregiver situations are also different. Some families are lucky to have another family member help out. Others have found someone who comes to the home and cares only for your child(ren). Others use a childcare setting. If the right support is found, your child’s life can be enriched by having additional people care for and love them.

The point is that we can only judge ourselves, not others. Making blanket statements that you are a better mother than someone else does not help matters.

look on

Karen, yes, you’re right. Staying home and raising a child is a luxury these days for most people, which is really sad. Nobody is saying they’re better than you because they found a way to stay home with their little ones instead of head into the office every day.

It may not be the 50s or the 70s, but babies are still babies. Their needs have not changed, what’s best for them has not changed. What’s changed is the economy so that many, many women have to work today.

What’s changed is the attitude many women and men have toward motherhood: that it’s so not important that daycare centers can easily fulfill the role.

Like somebody else here said, workers are a dime a dozen. The minute you leave your job, you’re easily replaced–especially today in this economy. The same’s not true for being a mother. It’s such a unique, important, and vital role that’s gotten such a bad rap over the past few decades that so few have respect for it anymore.

Just look at the names I’ve been called for sticking up for motherhood: ignorant and crazy. And there are thousands out there besides the name callers here who feel the same way.

Mira on

There’s a difference between not having a career ever, and going back to work 2 weeks or 6 months or 2 years or 5 years after giving birth.

Obviously, the line about when a mother can go back to her career without hurting her child is tough to pinpoint exactly. But it sure isn’t 2 weeks or 2 months. I, personally, don’t think it’s at 6 months either, but more like 2-3 years, or at least after baby is weaned.

Babies need their mothers much more than 3-year-olds do. I thought that’s a basic, indisputable fact.

Mia on

Celebrities have bills to pay too-expensive ones…they have to go back to work + keep their lifestyles/expenses continuously paid for.

Mia on

Actually-kids need their parents more as they get older…babies need the basics + don’t develop the emotional attachments with specific people till they are a little older.

Tarat3232 on

THIS is the problem with romanticizing motherhood. Even in the 1950’s, women rarely had the opportunity to give “100%” (whatever that means) to their children. Before the advent of conveniences like the washer/dryer, toaster, microwave, car, etc. just living took a lot of work. Women were responsible for a majority of these duties and couldn’t be overly involved in their children’s lives.

Individuals never get 100% from other individuals. Why should we set our children up to expect that?

Gaia and Laban's mom on

I’ll say it once and i will say it again. Women have always worked to contribute money to the household. Many times they worked inside the home but others worked outside as well. It is a relatively new phenomenon to be a stay at home mom. Its a perpetrated myth that stay at home motherhood without working was the historical standard. It was not. The ability to spend ones entire day with their children was a luxury most women(I’m talking America and western Europe) could not afford.

I get a lot of flack for being a working mom but I have done both. I stayed home for the first 16months of my daughters life. During that period I finished up my PhD and just hung out with my daughter.That was such a tranquil happy time in my life but with my son it wasn’t an option. I went back to work after five months; fieldwork in rural Serbia far away from my family, for three months.

Careers can only be put on hold for so long. It’d be nice to not work till they turn five but, its not an option. My field is small and competitive. My job security is limited. Also I friggin love my job! Doing something I love, having something outside of my husband and family makes me a better mother. Towards the end of my staying at home periods I started becoming irritable. I didn’t want to become a stir crazy soccer mom.

I’ve been home since the semester ended in May. Every single day. This fall I’ll be teaching only three days a week but in March I’ll be in Montenegro for two months. There’s sacrifice in any choice you make. Its really nobody else’s place to judge.

meghan on

Christina has been working since infancy, she probably doesn’t know how NOT to work. It’s a huge part of who she is, why should she change who she is now that she’s a mom? Also, I’m sure there will be ample opportunity to bring Sadie to work with her, a perk she is lucky to have in her industry.

sarawara on

I know that her separation anxiety is real, but it’s a lot easier for me to sympathize with women who actually HAVE to work to pay their bills so that they don’t end up on the street: single mothers, widows, those who grew up abused & poor…

The fact is that she is with Martin Lenoble, who is hardly a nobody. I have a hard time believing that if she said, “Hey, I want to take off 3 or 4 or 5 years until Sadie is in pre-school or Kindergarten,” that he’d kick them out on the street. He is able to support them.

I know she has expensive bills to pay, but she could scale back if she wanted to. She is choosing to work, and there is absolutely NO guilt, shame or judgment in that. Shame on anyone who judges her. I hope no one is MAKING her feel guilty!

She is one of my favorite actresses (I miss Samantha Who?)! But at the end of the day, it is her CHOICE to work. Just my $.02.

Valerie on

Mia- you are really misinformed.. time to read up on some child psychology. Maternal-child attachment begins in infancy and is well established by age 2. It is actually hard to establish this kind of attachment after this if it has not been formed in early infancy and very early childhood.

daria on

ick. some of these comments are nasty. i have friends who are SAHMs and friends who work full-time (i won’t say which category i’m in), and none of us judge each others choices. the working moms don’t ask the SAHMs “don’t you want a life outside of your family?” and the SAHMs don’t ask the working moms “don’t you want to actually raise your children?” men don’t argue like this about their fathering. kids who are well-loved kids do well, regardless of whether they have an at-home mom or working mom.

Jen DC on

Sighs.

The context of this interview is not given, nor the questions. We have no idea what elicited the response “It’s a really hard thing to do because you miss them. But I’m doing well.” Most likely – and I say “likely” because I wasn’t there (and neither were the rest of you) she was asked how *she* was doing. So she answered *that* question. And it was printed. We have no idea if she was asked whether Sadie was doing well or what have you. There is nothing selfish in answering the question you were asked. That’s my first gripe with the judgmental commentary on this thread.

Second of all, like several people have stated – including you, @ look – we have no idea what her financial position is. She could be the sole breadwinner in the family at this point, which would require her to return to work.

Furthermore, we know that Hollywood doesn’t exactly value women over 40 and the longer you stay out of the limelight, the more likely it is you will not return to it at the same height of notoriety or pay scale you were previously. She suffered from breast cancer, and didn’t work for a time. Her show was canceled. She got pregnant, then stayed home for 6 months. All these things – at least in my understanding, limited as it is – count against you in Hollywood. I don’t know what other skills she has, but I’m guessing whatever they are, they don’t pay as well as being an actress.

Third, when the show goes on hiatus in between seasons? She’ll have a few months to spend with her baby. Yes, she’s missing some time, but what if her husband is home with the baby? Or CA’s mother? Or the fiance’s mother? Basically, what iteration of this situation would be ok with you, since you want to sit in judgment on another woman’s choices?

Admittedly, there is no substitution for a mother’s love in many ways. But her fiance can be nurturing. Her mother or mother-in-law can be nurturing. As a nanny, I can attest: we can be nurturing. The kid I nannied for loved me, knew I loved him but still recognized that his mommy was his mommy and his daddy was his daddy. There is no crime and no shame in letting someone you trust love and care for your child while you work.

Nowhere does CA state that she has achieved the perfect balance between work and motherhood. Like most working mothers, she is looking for it. This does not PROVE that she overvalues her career and undervalues her commitment to her child. Just because your value system presents you (@look and everyone of her ilk) as the sole person able to care for your child adequately (insert eyeroll here) does not mean that everyone’s value system is the same. I don’t think this means that motherhood is not a serious business to CA – I think it is, as evidenced by the quote “None of it really matters. The importance I placed on things prior to this moment, they don’t matter anymore.”

Some people need MORE than that, however. If it’s enough for you, that is wonderful. But if I were a mom, there is NO WAY I would stay home for longer than 6 months either. There is only so much baby I can take! I need the stimulation of adults and problems outside of steaming and grinding broccoli and going to baby group. And I learned that by being a nanny. I don’t discount the theory that it would be different if it were my child, but for real? Babies are babies. One baby is much like another in that they don’t talk for a really long time, they cry at inopportune moments, and each day with them is really much like the one before it and will be about the same thing tomorrow.

Whereas the office – at least in my career (law) – it’s something new, everyday. I like that stimulation and I won’t lie to myself and say that a baby can provide that day in and day out, when I know s/he can’t. And I’d be embittered about it. Does this mean I should forego motherhood? Everyone not willing to sit at home mothering should just stop breeding? Because that’s the logical conclusion to your many rants and petty criticisms.

@ look: you’re painfully condescending and hyperbolic. No one posits that you can give 100% at the office AND at home. At least, not that I’ve seen on this thread. Even if you are a SAHM, you can’t give 100% as a mother because you are still a WIFE/girlfriend/partner, you are still a FRIEND, you are still a DAUGHTER or a SISTER. You still have to do the shopping and the cleaning, the schedule planning, etc. Don’t BS yourself, and please don’t try to BS the rest of us. The math just doesn’t work in your favor.

And ELI did explicitly state that SAHMs are “better than” those who don’t. “And yes, if you work and only see your baby part time, then yes I am a better mother, because I am there full time. If you worked part time at your “career” I am certain that you could not do it better than someone who was there “fulltime”…” Sorry – but I enjoy the company of adults from time to time, thus I WILL only be seeing whatever future children I have part time. And I refuse to feel badly about it.

My children won’t be the center of my world, just like I expect not to be the center of their worlds. What are you going to do when your kids go to grade school? Worse – to college? You will have sat there, making them the center of your world that whole time, only to watch them walk out right out of it. What will you do then? What career options are honestly available to someone who hasn’t done anything other than chauffeur, clean and schedule a couple of kids for the past 18 to 20 years? Who will you be other than “Mommy”?

You weren’t called “ignorant” and “crazy” for sticking up for motherhood – you were called “ignorant” and “crazy” for pushing the idea that there is something wrong with women choosing not to do what you have done.

whatnow on

right now i’m ignoring my kids and reading comments online. if my kids were in daycare or with a nanny i’m pretty sure they’d be getting better “care” in this moment! my point, there’s nothing perfect about stay at home moms and there’s nothing imperfect about quality daycare/nannycare. every family needs to make the choice that’s best for them. why judge?

Mia on

I’m not saying babies don’t form emotional attachments (esp. to patents)–but I’m saying there are parts of the brain that develop deeper emotional attachments + recognition as we get older–and kids need guidance the older they get + are actually on their own.

Jen DC on

@ sarawara: You don’t know that Martyn LeNoble still has his Porno for Pyros money. We have no idea. Look at the number of other stars who have wasted their money on drugs, houses, planes, cars, clothes… Mike Tyson – broke. MC Hammer – broke. Stephen Baldwin – broke. Jose Canseco – broke. ANNIE FREAKIN’ LEIBOWITZ – broke. Billy Joel – broke. Willie Nelson – broke. All these people filed for bankruptcy. How many did we hear about? (Obviously all of them – but it wasn’t common news except for MC Hammer.)

Karen on

@ LOOK–True workers are a dime a dozen. However, if I didn’t work I would not be able to covers my childrens rear-ends with diapers. Do you, as a tax payer, what the burden of doing that for me?????

Ally on

For heaven’s sake, “look,” it’s KATHARINE Hepburn, not Katherine.

This site gets more petty and snippy with each passing day. Why and how people build themselves up by tearing others down is something I’ll never understand. Refer back to Voltaire, children: I may disagree with what you have to say, but I agree you have the right to say it. You don’t know me and I don’t know you. I won’t pass judgment as long as you agree to do the same.

My mother stayed at home with me and my siblings for most of our childhood, and then decided to go back to school (during which she earned two doctorates in special education) and take on a part-time job. I appreciate her showing unwavering nurturing involvement in my adolescence just as much appreciate her exhibiting a good work ethic and multitasking skills.

At the end of the day, the only thing a parent HAS to do is love their children. The rest will work itself out in the end.

Pencils on

Look, and others — you can believe that you are such an amazingly special snowflake that NO ONE else can do the incredible job that you do of caring for your baby 24/7…but you’re wrong. Yes, mommies are special, my husband gets a bit perturbed by how he will try to comfort our daughter when she’s upset but all she wants is MAMA!! if I’m also there.

I happen to be a very good mother. However, I don’t kid myself that I’m the only one capable of and special enough to change my daughter’s diapers, feed her lunch, put her down for a nap, read her books, and, yes, comfort her hurts. I’m good at it, but so is my husband — he’s just as good as I am. And so are my parents, who watch my daughter a couple of days a week. And so is Miss Debbie, who runs the daycare my daughter goes to once a week (usually.)

My daughter *loves* Miss Debbie and being at her daycare, she almost never takes her afternoon nap there because she’s having such a good time she can’t bear to stop to sleep. Yes, I am a working mother. My daughter is usually home with her father two or three days a week, with my parents the other two or three days, and she often goes to day care one day to give my husband or parents a few hours break. And I’m there evenings and weekends.

I actually think my daughter is *lucky* in that she gets to spend so much one-on-one time with her father, so much time with her grandparents, who absolutely worship her (and who were great parents themselves so they know what they’re doing), and gets to spend time learning and playing with other kids in day care. I don’t think I’m so special that she has to spend all her time with me, although I do miss her terribly during the day. But I know if I were a SAHM, I’d miss work terribly too.

Staying home with your child doesn’t automatically make you a good mother, it just means you spend a lot of time with your child. *I’m* a good mother because of how I treat my child, what we do together, and because of what choices I make regarding her. And regarding myself — I’m a happy, well-adjusted, fulfilled woman. I can also afford a nice house in a good school system, and I can give my daughter what she needs — clothes, food, health care — without worrying about how we’re going to pay the bills BECAUSE I WORK. We wouldn’t be able to do that on my husband’s salary alone. I would have liked to stay home for the first couple of years if my husband made enough, but I would have had a hard time getting back in my field, so keeping my job was the smart choice.

You may not agree with me, Look, but that’s OK, we have choice in this country. I just wish you’d try to understand that spending time with your kid doesn’t automatically mean “good mommy.”

MommytoanE on

I like how you all keep saying she does NOT have to return to work. Exactly what do you know about acting? Do you realize that these people sign CONTRACTS? These contracts require them to do a set amount of shows, or a set amount of movies with a company….or they pay more than the contract is worth. Yes, its a sacrifice they could make. But, this isn’t just a crappy Wal-mart job that they can just give a two week notice to.

As for other successful TV star mom’s of the earier era. Lets look at Audrey Hepburn. THREE MONTHS after the birth of her son, she began working on Breakfast at Tiffany’s. She was an actress, a humanitarian, a wife and a wonderful mother. Shirley Temple Black. Shortly after the birth of her daughter she returned to work..WITH HER HUSBAND (as they both were on the screen and both starred in the movie) returned to work. She was an activist, an actress, a former child actress, and a wonderful mother. DEBBIE REYNOLDS, Mother to CARRIE FISHER (wow two actresses)…BOTH wonderful. However Debbie returned to work shortly after Carrie was born. Yet…carrie does not seem to be “Damaged”.

Before you go around saying ALL hollywood mothers gave up work, or that ALL mothers of th 50’s gave up work. Remember this. The 40’s and the 50’s is when women STARTED GIVING UP HOMELIFE FOR WORK. THIS is the era women started heavily jumping into the life of a working mom. STOP SLAMMING WORKING MOMS!! This isn’t what this thread is for. Its to congratulate Christina.

Back to topic please. Stop being psycho to eachother. Good gracious. Go for a walk. Get your agression out that way.

dsfg on

Eli, does your husband stay home with your children too, or is he allowed to work, since he’s a man?

The sexism on this site continutes to astound me . . . it might as well be the 1800s. And yes, Look, this means you . . .

dsfg on

“She understood that you can’t have it all, meaning you can’t give yourself 100% to both a career and motherhood.”

Wow, Look, but you think a man can give 100% to a career and fatherhood? Why don’t you just come out and say that you don’t think men and women are equal?

Holiday on

For me personally I could never put my kids in day care because I do not trust people with my children. I have had friends who work in day care centers and told me some pretty bad stories. Luckily I am able to stay home, some moms are not that lucky and have to work. I do trust my mom and husband 100 percent and those are the only 2 people I would let watch my kids ( though my daughter is nearly 15 months and I have only left her once for an hour)

Indira on

Attempting to quantify effort doesn’t make sense. Effectiveness at work and mothering and, effort put-forth are two separate things, the latter being irrelevant. If a mother can be competent as a worker and rear well-rounded children, where is the reason to gripe?

showbizmom on

@MommytoanE Thank you! As a non celebrity Hollywood mommy I agree with what you said. Everything you people see and hear is a business a business of making celebrities looking ‘perfect’ and super rich. Not the fact for some, I wish you guys could see what this world is really like.

I don’t know her, but the possibility of her having to work is very real. She is a company and in a company you usually have employees to pay. Most celebrities if smart become some sort of business. They also have family and sometimes friends that they take care of. So yeah maybe she doesn’t have to work or maybe she does, NONE of you or I know for sure. In the end she’s a kinda A list TV celebrity she might have a say in her work schedule, but as a Producer she would have to have a 100% past of bringing in the audience to get me to say ‘sure I’ll work around her schedule’

Regardless of all it, who are we to judge? I’m proud to be working and I choose to work. I want my two girls to grow up with a mom and dad who loves them yet has a fulfilling life outside of the home. They want for nothing and tons of people who love them. When they grow up and go to college I want them to live the exciting, fun and sometimes hard life my husband and I have had. I don’t want them to grow up thinking men work and mom’s stay home. We don’t choose to raise our girls like that.

Rita on

So any woman who is an actress, a doctor, a lawyer, a factory worker, a taxi driver should not have children if she wanted to keep her job? Some of the women in this thread should pay a little visit to Saudi Arabia and see a country where all mothers are “stay at home mums”…

My Mum (and Dad – yeah, man raise kids too) worked outside the home and me and my 3 siblings never felt neglected or unloved. Kindergarten was a rich and fun experience. On the contrary, I think it’s much more important for a child to see that their mum has a job that fulfills her and has a life besides being a mother.

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