Kellie Pickler In No Rush to Have Children

Joe Buissink

Kellie Pickler doesn’t understand the point of having kids just because someone else is.

“I don’t think people realize … the responsibility that comes along with it. It’s almost like a fad,” the country singer tells CMT Radio’s Cody Alan in an interview airing Monday, when asked if she and husband Kyle Jacobs are thinking of having children.

“I don’t know what’s gotten into these kids where they feel like they have got to have a baby because their friend has one or whatever,” Pickler, who turns 25 on Tuesday, says.

“They don’t take into consideration that it’s a very selfish thing to do if you’re not prepared and ready.”

Pickler says she and Jacobs, who got married on New Year’s Day in the Caribbean, are stable enough to handle it. But that doesn’t mean they’re in any rush.

“I take that very seriously, and when Kyle and I are ready, then we will maybe cross that bridge if it ever gets here,” she says. “Maybe life gives us a surprise, but we’re married and we have stability in our lives, so if that does happen, we are prepared.”

CMT Radio Live with Cody Alan airs weeknights from 7 p.m.-12 a.m. EST.

– Tim Nudd

Comments

Sandra on June 27th, 2011

Hallelujah.

Jen S on June 27th, 2011

Very wise thinking for someone so young. She has plenty of time to have kids.

Christi on June 27th, 2011

I absolutely agree. My husband and I have been married for 6 1/2 years and we just turned 30 and we aren’t ready to give up our lifestyle for children. Maybe we will one day and maybe we won’t. We’ve been blessed with understanding family and friends so we don’t feel that pressure to have them.

Maria on June 27th, 2011

Nicely put!

Heather on June 27th, 2011

I think you guys are the smartest people out there. Just because you are married people act like theres something wrong with you if you dont want kids right away. Ill be married in 4 months…..we dont want children. Call me selfish if you want but i think its the best thing we could do!!

Christina on June 27th, 2011

AMEN!! FINALLY someone with a logical point of view!

lj on June 27th, 2011

Great view on life Kellie. Much happiness to you and Kyle!

Nella on June 27th, 2011

Good for them! I wish more people thought like this before having kids! She seems mature,and I totally agree with her.

It is a huge responsibility, and being a parent seems like the hardest, most responsible role a person experiences in their life, so it shouldn’t be rushed. Unfortunately, I’ve met a lot of young people who either have kids right after they get married because that’s the thing to do or because everyone around them already has children and they feel like they have to catch up. Most of these people are not ready and have a lot of growing up to do.

While I’m a believer that some people are capable of maturing earlier and taking on the responsibilities of parenthood much better, in a lot people that is not the case. Then again parenthood isn’t for everyone.

Toni Marie on June 27th, 2011

Amen….She has made some very valid points here. The kids today are in a hurry to have a baby, and do not realize all that is involved with caring for the child. Some have them, and have an attitude like ok I tried it and I am done now. It’s not a game, we are talking about a precious life that will need your care constantly.

I applaud Kellie and Kyle for speaking out, and for doing what is best for them, and any children they decide to have in the future, by waiting to have them until they are ready.

May God bless them both in all they do always…

Karrie on June 27th, 2011

I appreciate her sentiments, but what does this have to do with Celebrity Babies? Because it’s a celebrity *talking* about babies? Seems like a slow news day.

Stacey on June 27th, 2011

You guys are smart!! My husband and I have been married for 7 yrs and we feel the same wasy!! Our friends have all had children and we are the only ones in the group without babies, but we want to make sure we are ready. There are days we come home and say wonder what it would be like to come home to “our” child and then there are days we come home and we are like” Thank the Lord for Peace and Quiet”. I just wish we all could get this concept out there to these teens!! God Bless you both!!

Jess on June 27th, 2011

it works for them but i don’t think that having a baby when you’re not ready for one is exactly selfish. i wasn’t ready to have a baby when i got pregnant with my son but i adapted. but of course i was 25, not a teenager. so i get that point. and i wouldn’t trade my son for anything or my daughter for that matter. neither one of them was planned but i enjoy them all the same

Mrs.NC on June 27th, 2011

Smartest thing i have ever heard her say!! Good for you Kellie!! More people need to think like you!

Nancy on June 27th, 2011

Good for you Kelli! I used to work with several young women in their young to mid 20s and within 2 years, 6 of them had children and were no longer with the fathers of the children. IMHO, they had no business having them as they were constantly struggling to take care of them and keep up their partying lifestyle. One of them lived with her father, applied for free daycare and on the weekends brought the child to a family member’s house so she had the entire weekend to herself. In this case, each one needed to have a child because they were the only one in their group who didn’t.

princess akai on June 27th, 2011

OMG she just got married. Kellie enjoy your honeymoon life for as long as possible u have your whole life ahead to have kids. Travel, and have fun enjoy each other it is a time that never comes back. I love Kellie I wish for u and your husband the best, a long life and alot love.

Riley on June 27th, 2011

Who are you all referring to that has rushed into having babies at a young age? (Just Curious)

Ella on June 27th, 2011

Kids today just want so badly to be seen & treated as grownups — but without having grownup responsibility. What’s sad is when parents, grandparents & families are the ones putting the pressure on these young couples to buy a huge house, upgrade their cars, get married and/or have children. Young people today simply do not demonstrate the emotional maturity or financial responsibility needed to handle the adult situations they find themselves in… Forget also holding down a good job, spending money wisely (saving) & planning for a future. Young people fall in love too quickly and create these trial-by-fire families that — shocker — end up in misery & divorce. The older generation needs to stop pushing young people into immature marriages, and young people need to hold off on being adults until they grow up some more.

Tonya on June 27th, 2011

Many of you waiting to have children until you are “ready to give up your lifestyle” will be one of those women sitting in a fertility clinic because you were busy with yourself. We live in such a selfish culture. “take care of yourself first” Many of you don’t deserve to have children. Children are the only real blessings in life. Children are meant to change us not just become a part of our lives and adjust to our lifestyle. They should be welcomed and sought after not put on a timetable for when we decide to take ourselves off the pedistal we put ourselves on. How crazy that we praise someone for not wanting children. We were created to procreate.

BillyBob on June 27th, 2011

well, there’s a reason why its best to have them while you’re young,.to have the most healthiest babies that you could possibly have. You wait til your 30′s or 40′s with your toxic full ovaries and uterus, then you are bound to have abnormal, deformed or autistic babies. So good luck to all of you,. let your selfish stand on the issue presides you.

Gigi on June 27th, 2011

Totally agree!! So many of my friends had children quickly after they were married and almost all of them are now divorced…and miserable. Children put a lot of pressure on any even the best marriage, but newlyweds are extremely fragile. Take time to get used to being a married couple and enjoy your lives for a while. My husband and I waited 8 years after we were married to have children and we faced a lot of pressure from friends and family…but it was such a wise decision on our part.

Jenn on June 27th, 2011

I agree with her. I’ve been married almost 3 years, and if one more friggin person asks me when I’m getting pregnant I’m going to scream! It really is a rude question because for all they know I could be struggling with infertility issues, waiting on an adoption, etc. I’m not, but these are people who don’t know me well enough to know one way or the other. My husband and I are taking our time, and aren’t going to be pushed into making a huge decision based on someone else’s timetable.

Anne on June 27th, 2011

Amen, Kellie & Kyle!!!

Riley, I think we all know someone who was not prepared at all to raise a child and yet had a baby because their friends did, their group had a bunch of babies running around, or they thought it was just be “fun” to have a baby. Babies are not accessories!

No one needs to have a baby unless they are prepared to love, raise, support, and protect him/her. As a teacher, I see too many students who have no support from the home and who get bounced around from place to place because their parents don’t put them first. Those kids are usually the ones with learning and behavioral problems, and it just breaks my heart.

klutzy_girl on June 27th, 2011

Tonya – Not everyone wants to have children, and that’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with it. Some people just aren’t meant to be parents. Forcing children onto them would be wrong for both the parents and the kids.

I think what Kellie said is great!

rg on June 27th, 2011

Good for you girl, I wish you and your hubby the best that life can bring.

Joanne on June 27th, 2011

Finally, someone who realizes you don’t have to have kids just because you’re married. Been married for over 18 years and although it would have been okay if we had kids, we love our life!

Jamie on June 27th, 2011

Brilliantly stated Kellie! I wish the rest of Hollywood were as smart. And to the people who think waiting to have a baby is a stupid idea – think again. Hollywood has also stupidly made society think women can’t have babies on their own (without IVF) after 35 – that’s simply NOT TRUE! It just seems that nowadays, when people want a baby, they want it immediately, so they rush into IVF after just a few months of trying.

Alyssa on June 27th, 2011

I think she’s mainly talking about those who purposely get pregnant because it’s “the cool thing” now to have a kid when you’re still a kid yourself. Or the teenage girls who do it because they think it’ll make their boyfriend love them more or stay with them forever. I’m 21 and have been married for 1 year and constantly having people telling me that I should have a kid. I agree with Kellie; I’m not reading for that kind of responsibility yet, and I’m not financially ready yet.

Anne on June 27th, 2011

Smart and very wise….class act!!

carrie on June 27th, 2011

having babies is a fad? without babies there’d be no human race. morons.

Willingly Childfree on June 27th, 2011

@ Tonya,

Some people are happy with who they are and do not need/want children to ‘change them’. No offense, but they are NOT the only real blessings in life, and true selfishness is to assume your perspective on things is the only right one, and any deviation from that is inherently wrong.

There are plenty of childless people who have done more good for this world than your having kids will ever do – it’s extremely rude of you to try to minimise that by assuming they are selfish.

This is 2011. There are almost seven BILLION people on the planet. Whether or not we were created to procreate, we certainly do not need to anymore. People have a choice, and some people choose other paths. There is nothing wrong with that.

Junky on June 27th, 2011

Breaking news! Kellie Pickler isn’t having a baby right now, but someday she might. I think I’ll call in sick to work to watch this developing story.

j on June 27th, 2011

i thought she already had kids a couple years ago there were alot of pictures of her w/ a couple of kids,i don’t think any singer or actor should have kids they just get stuck with a nanny anyways.

Nimue on June 27th, 2011

The human race could do well with folks who don’t procreate just because everyone thinks there is no other purpose to life. This isn’t 200,000 years ago – we are more in danger of extinction through too much procreation than too little at this point.

Cindy on June 27th, 2011

Very wise and smart move. First you did the right thing, you got married! I do wish everyone would wake up and see that raising a child is for the rest of your life. A child is certainly God’s blessing not a fad. We waited 8 years to have a child and my daughter has been married 2 1/2 years and they are not ready yet either. God bless you both and hold strong to your belief.

Skt on June 27th, 2011

Tony and Billy Bob…both of you are a mess that are completely misinformed. I feel sorry for your kids. *Eyeroll*

Allie on June 27th, 2011

A year or so ago I saw Kellie as a contestant on the now-defunct “Are you smarter than a fifth grader?” Let me tell you, she was not. I was actually appalled at how little she knew and remembered from whatever education she had. Based solely on that 30 minutes of television, I got the impression that this girl had to be one of the dumbest people I have ever seen. And based on what I saw, I’ll add this: Maybe it’s a smart move on her part to not have kids.

Mara on June 27th, 2011

Good for you hun!

Donna on June 27th, 2011

No, Kellie doesn’t have children she has a younger brother. She does alot of charity work for Children;s Hospital and St. Judes. Good For her! It is there choice to have kids when they want them. I see plenty of people who sholudn’t have had kids. Some people are just not parent material. God bless the ones who realize that and choose not too.

Carol A. on June 27th, 2011

I think what Kellie said is correct; so many young people today are not mature enough to raise children. My sons are 29 and 25. Both are single and both have told me since they were in *middle school* that they don’t want children. They both don’t want the responsibility, as well as the financial strain and they both feel they wouldn’t be good fathers (their dad (my ex) has never been a good role model, unfortunately)

I have never pressured my sons, and I never will. I told them, “If you know you don’t want children, more power to you. I’d rather you not have children. There are people who have children and then don’t want to take care of them. If you are happy with the idea of no children in your lives, then that’s fine, I’m glad you figured it out now instead of later.”

My sons are both happy with their lives and to me, if they’re happy, I couldn’t ask for more than that.

Jackie M on June 27th, 2011

Right On Kellie !!! Set people straight. You need to feel comfortable with your mate and have time together before bringing children into the picture.

BillyBob on June 27th, 2011

why marry then? What if the husband wishes to have children and the wife chose not to? Won’t you call that being selfish? Unless both decided not to have children then that should be fine. Marriage equals procreation,.otherwise what’s the point, you fall under the same sex marriage category, wherein your presence is insignificant. If you chose not to have children in the future then stop being selfish and stay single!!

Monica on June 27th, 2011

I didn’t know Kellie Pickler was capable of having an intelligent thought let alone be able to articulate it, but this has proven me wrong. Good for her!

Having kids is a blessing but let me tell you, it puts a strain on your relationship like nothing else can- especially those first few months when no one is sleeping. I think it’s horrible the amount of pressure that is put on any newly married woman to have kids immediately. I vowed to never ask anyone when they were having kids after I was put thru that for years after I was married. My mother in law actually asked me if I was pregnant yet when we returned from our honeymoon- and she was only partially joking! But it doesn’t stop after you actually have a baby because the next inevitable question is- when are you having your next baby?? Hello! I am sitting here holding a newborn and you think I’m thinking about the NEXT time??

People are crazy. But women should definitely hold true to their beliefs and have a baby when and if they want to. And by the way, do you think Kellie’s husband would be asked the same question?? No way!! Just another little burden we women get to carry alone.

Elena on June 27th, 2011

@Junky hahahaha too funny I don’t think she’s being selfish, HAVING kids is selfish (when you choose to have them) what is the first thing people say when they want to have a kid? “I WANT to have a kid”, right? that’s selfish. On the other hand when you have kids young and when they grow up you still have time to enjoy your life without them, but when you have kids when you’re older it’s kinda like THAT’S IT! Plus like someone said all the health issue and inability to conceive…so yeah… I didn’t plan to have a baby it kinda happen (I was 26, stupid I know) but I wouldn’t change it for the world, however if I never have another baby in my life I would be perfectly fine with it. That’s MY opinion don’t yell at me please hahahahahaha

Darlene on June 27th, 2011

Kelli has a good head on her shoulder. They just got married, and the need to have some newlywed time together.

jenni on June 27th, 2011

Tonya and Anonymous – I’m one of the ones “sitting in a fertility clinic” and “rushing to have IVF” but here’s a shocker – I’m not even 30. Until you have journeyed the painful and sometimes long trek that is infertility, please have a little more understanding. Sweeping generalizations don’t help anyone.

Melody on June 27th, 2011

My son was created as a result of taking antibiotics while on birth control. I was 20, only with my boyfriend for 7 months, and scared s**tless. Regardless, we decided to work our asses off to bring him into this world and I don’t ever regret it.

HOWEVER… it is hard. Many women don’t get what it actually entails to raise a child. A friend of mine got pregnant at the same time, but on purpose. She was broke like us, hadn’t been with her man very long, and was not prepared whatsoever. But her friends all happened to be having kids so she decided to join in. Sure enough, to this day Grandma and Grandpa pay for everything, so that her little accessory has all the latest and greatest baby gear. It infuriates me when I know how hard I have to work to take care of my son, and others are choosing to have babies without thinking it through. Babies don’t stay babies forever!

I don’t know if there is a perfect time to have a child, and mistakes do happen! But trying for a baby when you aren’t ready is wrong. (Also, having financial stability and being married DOES NOT automatically mean you are ready!!)

Country Music Fan on June 27th, 2011

I agree with Sandra.
Thank you Jesus! The world doesn’t need another Pickler.

Rae on June 27th, 2011

I have always liked kelly pickler. She is funny and a smart young lady. live life to it’s fullest and do what’s right for you. God Bless you and your husband.

Amanda on June 27th, 2011

Sometimes accidents happen and it’s not SELFISH to keep the baby as long as you’re hard working and take good care of your child. It shouldn’t matter how old you are, it should matter how mature you are.

klutzy_girl on June 27th, 2011

BillyBob – Really? I mean, really? People get married because they love each other. There’s no law that says they have to have kids. It’s not “insignificant” if you don’t have kids. That is one of the stupidest comments I have ever read on this site.

You have the wrong definition of selfish. How it is selfish to not want kids? It’s selfish to *have* them.

Sarah S. on June 27th, 2011

I agree with Kellie. I got married at 25 and had my 1st child at 32 and 2nd child at 35. So for me waiting 7 years to have children was the right thing. I felt a lot more mature and stable (personally and finacially).

Ana on June 27th, 2011

More power to you Kellie! My husband’s family decided to have children all at the same time because it was the thing to do. One of them got pregnant right away! I don’t agree with this as a child doesn’t ask to be born and shouldn’t be had because it’s a fad. You should have a child when you feel ready, responsible, in a stable place, and mature enough to handle it. You should not have a child because everyone else is. There are so many children out there who need loving homes, are in orphanages, etc… There’s nothing wrong with adopting if that is your choice. That is a selfless act.

More power to Kellie for speaking up on this topic! I’m 26 and my husband and I are not ready to have children any time soon, but like she says we’ll cross that bridge if and when we are meant to.

Sunny on June 27th, 2011

That’s smart and wise also no rush. Enjoy and have tons of fun being two of you as husband and wife for couple of years then if you are ready and stable just let it happen when it happen.

Me on June 27th, 2011

I don’t see anything wrong with being married for a good ten years before you have kids. For whatever reason, everyone seems to think that the moment they get married they have to start procreating. THAT is the true cause of divorce in this country – people not giving themselves enough time to learn what it’s like to be married first.

Elena on June 27th, 2011

Oh by the way when I saw this article the first thing I thought was when I was watching an episode of “Are you smarter than a 5th grader” with her…hahahaha well to those of you who say shes smart and wise LOL well watch it…I don’t wanna say anything mean…hahahaha ok gonna keep my mouth shut otherwise gonna get destroyed by american people on this site LOL

Darlene on June 27th, 2011

They should be in any hurry. Why they are still newlyweds. Let them enjoy each other.

Adrienne on June 27th, 2011

Children are a lot of things, but there are also a lot of things that come with them.. she’s right not many people realize this. Sleepless nights for just about ever, constant worry, the ability to work, vacation and leave on a whim is pretty much squashed. Forget about eating most days (unless you’re super wealthy) because your kids hafta eat and obviously they come first. Your marriage takes a back seat, no matter HOW hard you try, and you are the very last person in the world whose needs seem to matter. Very many people can’t handle these things, and are selfish (which is NOT an insult, merely the truth) and their children suffer tremendously. A child cannot be raised properly without love and resentment has a tendency to sneak up and replace the love if your unprepared. It’s NOT easy, it’s NOT always fun.

Jen DC on June 27th, 2011

Kellie’s attitude seems way more reasonable than the attitudes of other 25 yr olds out there. I do think that women (moreso than men) get caught up in what their friends are doing in their marriages and are in some kind of contest (left over from high school!) to see who can do what soonest, biggest and best – kids being one of those things.

@ BillyBob: Try not to be a bigger idiot than it appears you are. If you marry someone without finding out prior to the big day whether they want to have children or not, you get what you deserve. Also? That’s what divorce is for.

I don’t understand how it is selfish to realize you’re not ready for kids, therefore avoid having them. I’d rather hear/see that, than see people who had a child before they were ready abuse a poor kid, neglect a child they really had no business having in their state of mind.

@ Tonya: Are you really saying that you are against “family planning”? Because that’s how your comment reads. What sense would it make NOT to plan for a child if you can? Are there really cons to family planning? I really can’t see any.

And – if I were a parent – it would be imperative to “take care of myself first.” You know why? Because I (and my husband) am the captain of the family ship. If the captain is unhappy, everyone is unhappy and the ship goes down. I’m not saying “take care of yourself first” to the detriment of the children – like a spa vacation when the family budget can’t handle it. But kids and parents alike will need to adjust to each family members’ needs in order for things to work. Otherwise, what do you have when those kids grow up and leave home? Nothing left OF yourself FOR yourself.

But hey, if you like being a doormat…

Lovely on June 27th, 2011

These are very wise words coming from someone who came across as an airhead (Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?).

Well said, and good for you Kelly.

Linda on June 27th, 2011

All you commenters below who think you “have to be married to have kids” are lame. Even lamer, are the people who ARE married and dont ever have kids. Yes you ARE selfish if you dont want to give up “your” life. You all sound retarded, you never give up any life, you SHARE it with the person you created. Your whole purpose in life, IS TO HAVE CHILDREN. Marriage is crap. It has even been proven ( watch the discover channel ) that “God” resides in a part of your brain. Marriage was created by humans, so men could control woman. I will never be married, I have been with my man and have kids for 10 years and we are happy as can be.

Mom of 2 on June 27th, 2011

i understand everyone is different. But people who dont want babies are mostly from difficult families /parents divorced, abuse etc/ or most selfish ones. But if these people having kids, kids will be less loved. Coz they love their freestyle life. So not having kids is best. Or there will be many selfish and bad people.

Kim on June 27th, 2011

To Adrienne:

I have 2 kids and I don’t have sleepless night forever, my kids sleep longer than I do, I don’t have constant worry, I work a regular job, we go on vacation sometimes nothing too fancy, but we still have a life! You make it sound like you lose your life when you have kids. Oh and guess what we still eat and so do our kids and I take care of myself. Don’t be so dramatic.

Linda on June 27th, 2011

come on girl … spray tan before your wedding, gheesh CASPER !

Scott on June 27th, 2011

I thought Kellie was supposed to be stupid. She sounds like a pretty wise woman to me. I just know that if I was married to someone as cute as Kellie, I wouldn’t want kids for several years. I’d want to engage in that activity that produces children a LOT, but no kids for a while.

fuzibuni on June 27th, 2011

Waiting to have kids is pretty much strictly limited to those who have something to lose… People who have education, jobs and money are the ones who decide to delay starting families.

However, for many poor people, having children is considered the best way to assure future success… because one of your children may make something of themselves and take care of you. Children are considered to be a type of wealth.

For example, in my neighborhood, where the population is mainly illegal immigrants from central america, having lots of children is pretty much a guarantee that you won’t get deported. The way the system works, if you have a baby it gets automatic citizenship, free healthcare, and education in the public school system.

If you don’t have children young in this community, you are considered stupid. It is the only way of life here… the rare girl that grows up here and decides to go to college instead of having babies in less than one out of 100.

Deciding to wait until you’re older to have kids is really just limited to people who have already attained something in life, or have other goals than raising children. For the rest of the world, popping out babies is business as usual.

Julie on June 27th, 2011

Finally! Someone is willing to admit that they are not ready for parenthood! Just because you get married doesn’t mean that you should have children right away (if at all). Enjoy the time that you have and if you should decide to have children then you will be wiling to put all of your effort on raising that child and you can enjoy them more at that point.

miameows on June 27th, 2011

@Linda wash your filthy mouth! did you seriously just use “retarded” as an insult?? Seriously? The rest of your post is disturbing, but I am absolutely shocked at your insensitivity and obvious ignorance. please don’t reproduce anymore.

asdfjkl; on June 27th, 2011

She is freaking 25, not a teenager! How dare she accuse some of wanting to have a baby bc a friend has one or say that having a baby can be selfish if you aren’t prepared. Calling motherhood a fad?!Please! Married, stable, whatev, there is never the perfect time to have a baby. Perhaps she has pu it out of their plans for “selfish” reasons?

joanna on June 27th, 2011

i’m glad she’s being responsible, but please keep in mind that your most fertile years are in your 20s. many people wait well into their 30s before attempting pregnancy and face crushing infertility and an increased risk of all kinds of genetic issues in their children. crunch the numbers before thinking that you should delay having children – it may not be worth it.

Tara on June 27th, 2011

You are never going to be 100% prepared and ready to have children. And I think it’s ridiculous that we think we can decide when it’s time because we can’t. Everything happens in it’s time whether wevare ready or not.

Melissa on June 27th, 2011

Just something to think about: I do understand and appreciate why/how she feels about this and think it is very wise, however, I never became pregnant until I was in my 30′s and the three times I was pregnant, I lost each time. (blighted ovum, twin to twin transfusion syndrome, and genetic disorders causes losses for each pregnancy). Anyway, I just turned 40, and had to have a hysterectomy last Fall. Keep an eye on both of your baby makin’ parts as you get older so you don’t lose the ability to have children. Best wishes to you both Kell!!

momoftwins on June 27th, 2011

Wow, I think you are all crazy. Having children is about the most unselfish thing in the world.

coco on June 27th, 2011

Great words. Glad to see Kelli is so grounded.

Becky on June 27th, 2011

Wow..Can some of you people not read? She doesn’t say that having babies is a fad..I agree with her that some kids think having a baby is cool and that some get pregnant just because their other friends did.. Yeah, she might of appeared dumb on the game show, but so do a lot of the regular people that go on there..You don’t think they plan it that way? The shows would be very boring if everyone was always right..

Nancy on June 27th, 2011

Jenni–I have felt your pain. I also had infertility (discovered in my late 20s) and went through all of the tests very young.
To the people who say statistically that fertility goes down in your 30s. I always question that because so many people I know in their mid 30s have either partner “fixed” by that time, so how do we know how many more children they would have created. I also know several people having children into their 40s.

To Billy Bob: People do not marry to have children. Yes my husband and I talked about it before getting married but we got married because we loved each other and wanted to spend our lives together. We had infertility and we adopted but I know many couples who WILLINGLY do not have children but who are happily married.

If marriage is just for procreation, than for those of us who can’t procreate, does that mean we don’t have a valid marriage???

Sara on June 27th, 2011

Ladies I’m sorry, but age doesn’t have much to do with being selfish. If you are going to be a selfish parent, you are going to be one at 20 or at 40. I see plenty of old moms at my daughter’s daycare, and some of them seem like loving committed parents and others don’t.

Julie on June 27th, 2011

Good for her! My husband and I were married 7 years before having kids…I don’t regret it at all because while kids are wonderful and a huge blessing, your life changes forever and it’s nice to be as ready as you can be for it. By the way, for the people giving scare tactic warnings of the 20′s being your most fertile years, yeah, that may be true, but I have no regrets waiting til I was 31 for my first and 34 for my second…and the longest it took me to get pregnant was 4 months. I might be lucky, but I wasn’t ready in my 20′s.

Karen on June 27th, 2011

LOVE her comment….not crazy about her music, but LOVE her comment!!!!

Skt on June 27th, 2011

Tara: I guess you don’t know what birth control means if it means having a kid whether someone is ready or not.

Tia on June 27th, 2011

Good for Kellie it’s her life her decision.I suspect this site has become the dirty little secret of many “respectable moms”.Some of you I suspect are very well thought of in your social circles.However you come on this site and reveal who you really are through your vicious,judgemental,hateful,angry,and hostile comments.This is just a hunch……….if I’m wrong so be it.As I have no need to be right.

mommytoane on June 27th, 2011

*snort* and lets see a show of hands for who’s first born was perfectly planned. uh huh…yeah….thought so.
Most first born children AREN’T planned to the t. You can THINK you are planning….but miracles happen when they are ready. Not you.

Amanda on June 27th, 2011

Finally! There are always stories about babies and people seem to think you are weird if you don’t want one! I’m glad to see a story about someone who doesn’t feel like they have to have a baby – smart girl!

Joyce on June 27th, 2011

Finally, a young celeb thinking logically! That’s great. Never got why people think everyone wants to have kids when they get married. Some do, some don’t…it’s their choice. There is nothing wrong if you never have kids. Good for Kellie for speaking out…she’ll have kids when she’s ready and if she chooses to do so.

Rachel on June 27th, 2011

In my hometown, having babies IS a fad to the girls my age. For example, my future sister-in-law got pregnant when she was 17 and then had two more kids right after the other, with each child having a different father. She hangs out with girls who think that having babies is the cool thing to do, and that’s where her children came from–wanting to have “accessories” that her friends had. She has no job, she lives with her father who has no job but is on unemployment and she mooches off of him, she gets welfare and food stamps, but all of that money goes to her cigarettes and not her children. She has a horrible mouth and would rather party and get drunk than watch and play with her children. She considers hanging out with her kids “babysitting”. Her 4 year old daughter already has discipline issues and is on the way to becoming like her mother, which is incredibly sad. So many girls in my hometown are like this, so yes, it is a fad among some young girls/women from adolescence to 25 where it is cool to have children as accessories even though they don’t care about them and can’t afford them. Honestly I think they are having kids to get attention and so that they can have a form of income because they are too lazy to get a job (most don’t even have a GED).

I, on the other hand, am 23, am in college and have been dating the same guy for three years. We plan on getting married in 2013 and we plan on having a child when we are financially secure and mature. IF we do have a child, it will only be one or two, because we know that we could not afford to have more and I personally would rather have one child who gets all of the benefits of my resources, than 3+ who would get less. But, that’s our personal decision.

Debby on June 27th, 2011

Well I do agree, but if I didn’t have kids when I was younger I might not have wanted them or think I could handle it. See I love my 2 kids I had my first one when I was 20 turning 21. Yes I didn’t go out and party and didn’t do any of that. But I am looking at it as well my kids are getting older and I can leave them by themselves and well when my friends who they don’t have babies or kids. When they have them it will be different because they are still young and my hubby and I just turned 34. I really feel that I wouldn’t be able to handle it now being the age I am.

So yes we are finished in the baby making unless something else comes along. I wish I would have thought about having a baby and thinking oh yeah they require lots of work. I LOVE my kids dearly but I think if I had to do it again I might have waited until I was like 25 or something like that. BUT WE ARE HAPPY!

Everyone is different and there is no rush don’t let anyone push you to do that.

kal on June 27th, 2011

This is not a criticism of her or anyone else. But there was an article in this same issue about a womann using a surrogate because she waited until her late thirties to try to get pregnant.And just about every week we are treated to another round of Jen Aniston saying “whoa” “slow down-there’s plenty of time” for kids even though she is well over forty now.

I applaud any responsible choice an adult makes for themselves and it is not for me to say who does what. However, I feel as though the cultural trend is to try to “wish away” the biological fact of the key role age plays in fertility. It is silly when Jen Aniston continully insists that there is no rush. If she does not want to have them then Fine. But the idea that there is all this time is crazy. The other story features another celebrity who we are supposed to pity for her “struggle” with infertility when she clearly let the time pass on her own.

Here is a reality check for all of these celebs and people who are so hell bent that woman should wait so long. Fertility drops significantly after 30- dramatically after 35- and to almost nil after 40. Money, marriage, and education and social status don’t change that. I feel some people in the culture right now have the misguided belief that only woman who are in their 30′ and 40′s have it together enough to have babies-but from a biological stance we have not changed for ages upon ages. The limited years a woman can concieve with out medical intervention ARE NUMBERED. And it just perplexes me why people just want to culurally change the baby making age without considering mother nature.

Ms. Pickler has about 5 more years before her fertility drops. That’s pleny of time in some standards but in a lifetime it is not long. While I agree she is responsible and intelligent for considering waiting. She’s married and more well off financially than most in this country–so what the hell is the big deal if she DID want to have kids now. I feel congratulating her in such a fawning way for wating is strange. I feel that in ten years-when she is thirty five and can’t get pregnant when she finally wants to -it will be ridiculous

Laura on June 27th, 2011

I totally agree with Kellie, she’s got the right mindset!!

Piper on June 27th, 2011

Yay Kellie- I think she is talking about all these teens popping out babies like breathe mints.

But I agree, I got married at 20 and people were shocked that I wasn’t thinking about having a baby. I was still in college planning out careers and future. I am 23 now and don’t want to start trying until I’m 26. People at like I said I would never have kids because 26 is the new 80.

If I have fertility issues at 26 it’s not because I waited to long, but because I have issures. I can’t blame my ability to have kids on age because look at how many older momother’s there are today.

shalay on June 27th, 2011

Bravo, Kellie! She is the same age as me, and I’ve been married for 3 years now. I have no plans for babies in the near future and I think it’s the smartest thing I can possibly do.

Some people have seriously skewed views of what constitutes as “selfish”. In all reality, choosing to have a child is selfish. The act of raising him or her is what’s (usually) selfless. Think about it. Why do people want babies? Because they want to see a miniature version of themselves, give them the childhood they never had, dress them up cute, have someone to love/love them back, etc. Yes, once the baby arrives parents usually give up their “free lifestyles” and focus on the children. But the decision itself to procreate is selfish.

Anyone who can recognize that they should not have children is incredibly smart. I’d much rather see a couple make that decision than see a couple who can’t handle responsibilities or demands become parents. If more people put off parenthood until they were fully ready, we wouldn’t have the ridiculous number of children living in poverty or in the foster care system.

And stop with the guilt trips that people can’t get pregnant in their late 30s or 40s. That’s giving an extreme example. Kellie is 25. Just because she is not ready for a baby now, doesn’t mean she intends on waiting 15 years to have one (assuming she ever has one).

Cortney on June 27th, 2011

Thank you Kellie. I am 26 and am constantly watching my friends and relatives kids cause they want to go out and what not. Which is fine with me cause I have recently come to the conclusion that if there is always a stream of kids being born and I get to have a hand in raising them then get to send them home I’ll never have to have my own kids. And Im ok with that!

B.J. on June 27th, 2011

Good for them.

Laura on June 27th, 2011

Good for you to know this before you get pregnant rather than after. I agree taht many people hve children bescause of the pressure but not everyone. I am a mother of 5 and am 30. My first was born when I was 17 and my last was born at 27. My husband ans I have been married for almost 10 years and are both very involved and active in our childrens lives. Our children come first. We were never the party type so we haven’t missed anything. I much rather have a family then waste my life partying and staying up late all the time. You can only do it for so long bfore you are too old and it’s not cute anymore. We are more about having a family and raising them to be amazing people. I have had many negative comments thrown at me but this is only because people “assume” I am a welfare mom living in the ghetto and taking advantage of everyone and everything. Many women are like this and many are not. My personal opinion is that having children younger “if you are ready” is wonderful. I don’t want to worry about having fertility treatments done and spending thousands to get pregnant in my 40′s like so many women do today. No offense…I have been fortunate enough to have 5 healthy pregnancies and 5 healthy children. There will always be negative remarks at having children young or old so honestly nobody gets anywhere. God gives you only as much as you can handle. I am blessed to raise my chldren in a loving home and have a husband who supports us.

Bree on June 27th, 2011

Well I totally respect Kellie and her right to her opinion, the basic condemnation of “young” mother here is just sickening.

My husband and I got married in August of last year after over four years together. We were both 23 years old and right after our wedding I went off the pill. I am now happily pregnant with our first child and we will both only be 24 when this baby is born.

We did not go into this decision lightly and thought long and hard about it and looked at every aspect of it. Ultimatly we decided that there is no perfect time to have kids and that we wanted to have the majority of our kids in our 20s. That is the decision that works best for us.

Everyone is entitled to choose if and when they have kids and I see nothing wrong with having kids late in life, it is an individual choice. Don’t assume that just because someone is young they are unprepared and just want to be like their friends. My husband and I are the first of all our friends and in both our families to have kids, we are doing this because we feel that having kids now is what is going to be best for our kids and best for us.

Kate on June 27th, 2011

She is coming from a very unstable family environment, so it is not surprising she takes parenthood very seriously. Her mother left her when Kellie was two. Her father was in and out of jail so her grandparents raised her. When her mother finally came back and got her custody, she abused Kellie until she lost her custody again. Having suffered because of irresponsible and/or incapable parents provides a realistic perspective on parenthood. There is nothing selfish about wanting to wait before having children. What is really selfish is bringing a child into an unstable and unprepared home. It is great to see celebrities taking parenthood seriously and spreaking about it. I totally agree with Kellie.

JMO on June 27th, 2011

Okay first let me say, some of ya’ll are so rude with the, Are you smarter then a fifth grader thing. What does being absolutely smart have to do with raising kids?? The last I checked it took more commone sense then smarts! Trust me I know some pretty intelligent people with masters degrees that have made some pretty stupid decisions when it’s come to raising their kids!! So Kelly isn’t the brightest crayon in the crayon box but lets not forget it’s TV. She’s flirty, fun, and doesn’t take life seriously but when camera’s are off how do we know she’s not a simple laid back very smart girl?? Don’t judge based on what she does in the media.

Also Kellie has come from a broken home so her words are wise probably because of the things she’s been through. Anytime you grow up in an unstable environment with parents your views tend to become a bit jaded.

Not every women out there is meant to procreate. In fact there are many who have and shouldn’t have!!! It’s nobodys business when a women has a baby or if she doesn’t want to have a baby! It’s a personal choice. Having children is a beautiful thing but they’re a lot of work and everyone yes everyone shouldn’t leap into it so easily. Of course things happen and it’s not always planned but you should always be prepared for if it does.

With that being said, if you wait around forever for the “perfect” time to have kids you’ll never have them. There really is no perfect time. But it should always feel right and it should be done when you and your partner are ready not when your family thinks you should be!

Vinnett A Williams on June 27th, 2011

I always thought of Kellie Pickler as a bubble head. I am quite surprised and proud that she is anything but. Even though she and her husband can afford children, I am glad that they do not feel the need to procreate just because it is expected. Do the unexpected…have a long honeymoon and enjoy each other.

Nicole on June 27th, 2011

Tonya your an idiot! Keep working at Walmart and popping out those babies since thats what your “suppose to do in life” Blah I choose a career over screaming brats anyday!

karen on June 27th, 2011

Good for Kellie and Kyle! Having children is a blessing and a wonderful experience but a lot of responsibility. It is important that they build a life together, get to know each other, and build strong bonds before they bring children into the world. Considering Kellie’s childhood I am sure she is more sensitive and aware of what impact poor parents/absent parents has on children, and I applaud her for her maturity and wisdom.

Jackie on June 27th, 2011

Finally, someone who realizes that having a child is a serious responsibility! My husband and I have been married for 20 years. We decided at some point that we weren’t willing to change our lifestyle for that responsibility. People have actually accused us of being selfish! I actually see it as just the opposite. We took the idea of having children very seriously and knew our lives were not the best situation for a child. Of course I have nieces and nephews I adore but I am never sorry that we made the decision to not have children.

Very impressed with Kellie and her husband!

L on June 27th, 2011

Infertility can hit at any age. My husband & I had to go through IVF at ages 30 (him) & 27 (me). My husband was born without the tubes that carry sperm from his body so IVF was our only option of ever having our own biological children.

You can’t “rush into IVF” unless you’re filthy rich & can afford to go through the treatment without insurance. Most insurance companies (if they even pay for IVF) make you wait at least 1 full year of documented trying before they will even cover anything. From that point, it takes about 3 months of treatment before you’re even pregnant. Please know your facts before you make a generalization about fertility stats & treatments.

Good for her & her husband for waiting until they feel ready. My son is now 6.5 months old & while he is a wonderful baby, he is a big responsibility. I appreciate & love him so much more than I would if we had had him before we felt ready. I have way more patience & maturity than I did in my mid-twenties & though we started trying when I was 26, I’m so glad he didn’t come until I was 28…we were so much more prepared.

mommylove on June 27th, 2011

I agree with her. As a young mother, I feel like many girls my age have babies just to follow the trend or to try to keep their guy around. Unfortunately, it gives young mothers who give up everything for their baby and step up and be responsible a bad rep. I am criticized daily because I am a young, single mother, and if more people would realize that having a baby isn’t “cool” or easy, it would be very different!!

Jenner on June 27th, 2011

Smart move, Kellie!

Holiday on June 27th, 2011

I think lots of people DO realize having a baby is a huge responsibility but are ready to be parents anyway. I knew it would be a life changing event and I was more then ready and prepared for it… and I got pregnant at age 21 and had him at 22. Yes we were married, we owned a house and we both went to college ( I finished up my senior year pregnant with him). I hate the stereotypes of young parents, it is one of the things that bothers me the most. My husband and I devote our lives to our 2 kids who are now 5 and 13 months and I am SO glad I had my babies while I was young.

Stella Bella on June 27th, 2011

Finally, someone who takes parenting seriously! Best wishes to her and her husband, whether they decide to have children or not.

Dar on June 28th, 2011

I agree with Kellie.We were married 15 months when our daughter was born and it was a wakeup to me.I wanted to have a baby from the time we got married,but it is a lot of responsibility.She is almost 35 now{in Sept.}and lives with us with her daughter.She had her at 25{not planned on her part she said}.The x is not in the picture and has not been since she was a baby.We basically help them with everything so she can work and be a mother and father to her daughter.She does not have to worry about daycare or anything else because we are the ones that have her when her mother is not home and at work.She is our everything and would not give her up for the world, but you have to be ready to have a child before having one, because if your not someone else usually ends up being the one to take the responsibility on.Also the parent and grandparents now have 1 thing in common they both know what it is like to be parents and the child is the 1 that needs all the attention and time that you have to give because they are the 1 that is going to benefit from you giving them all the love you can.It means basically giving up your needs so the childs needs are met when you decide{or in our daughters case ?} to have a baby.Always remember a child is a gift, but when they are not planned they can be a big responsibility for someone else and sometimes not the 1 that had them ,and alot of the time that is the case no matter how old you are or how capable yoy think you are of taking care of a child.

Katrina Pritchard on June 28th, 2011

Congratulations on being so mature. There are so many women out there stars or not who want to start a family so early that they end up regretting it. I am so glad to hear that you two have decided to wait until you know you are ready.

Ang on June 28th, 2011

I think one of the reasons she is being so cautious and waiting is because of what her own mother put her through. She left her at a very young age to be raised by her grandparents. Maybe that is also why she feels having a child before you are ready for the responsibility is so selfish. At least she is trying to do what she feels is best and not make the same mistakes her mother made.

Renee on June 28th, 2011

She obviously isn’t ready for children yet (mentally & maturity wise), which is fine but I’m not sure what age she is referring to when she talks about “kids” having children? If she’s referring to her age group then I don’t quite understand as she certainly isn’t young. I am 25 and had my first baby in January, but I by no means think of myself as a young mum! Being married, aged 25-29 and having your first baby seems to be the trend here in Australia

Jen DC on June 28th, 2011

I don’t think she’s criticizing all young moms at all. I think she’s criticizing a very specific type of young mom – the young mom who gets pregnant because her friends are getting pregnant, e.g., the teen-aged pregnancy circle reported on a few years ago or even (probably) some competitive Hollywood types she’s in a position to witness.

Unless you had your baby “because [your] friend had one” she isn’t talking to you. If you planned your child b/c you wanted one, you don’t fall into the subset she criticizes.

Jean on June 28th, 2011

Bunch of self-righteous people on here. EVERYONE, no matter who you are, gets ONE LIFE to live. ONE. Who are you to tell anybody that they MUST give that life to the care of another or else they are selfish?? If everyone lived the exact same life the world would truly be a boring place.

And women thinking they HAVE TO have children even if they don’t want to is why all we see in the news is women drowning their kids in bathtubs, “forgetting” them in the backseats of cars in 100 degree heat and “covering up that they accidently drowned in the family swimming pool.” These women should have never been mothers.

Amanda on June 28th, 2011

Completely agree Sara, selfish parents are selfish whether they have kids in their 20s, 30s or 40s. I’ve seen it many times. I don’t see anything ‘smart’ about her decision. She doesn’t feel ready for kids, so she’s not having them. Bravo for common sense.

I’m a 25 year old married homeowning mother of 3. My first wasn’t exactly planned but we worked our butts off to make it work and to make a good life for her and for us. I live far from the life many of my friends do, even the ones with kids seem to go out partying at least once a week but usually more and live off government programs. But I’ve seen the same thing from people in their 30s and even 40s with kids.

I do think it’s pretty pathetic that we don’t expect people in their 20s to grow up and be responsible, they certainly ARE capable of it. It’s just a generation of moms who raised their kids to be selfish and immature and always want their kids to fall back on mommy that is preventing it.

I’m glad my parents expected me to grow up and be an adult and not a forever college student. Yes, even at 25 with 3 kids I have a college degree. I could work if I wanted, but I’d rather raise my kids and thankfully my husband makes enough on his own to support our family.

Katie on June 28th, 2011

What she says may be true for her and other people. But not for everyone. If you want to be stable, successful and in a good union to have children that is great! I was married at 24 and love kids so that’s what I wanted. Now at 29 I’m blessed with two little ones and I wouldn’t have it any other way. To each her own. But to say they are fads? No not really. Children are blessings!

daria on June 28th, 2011

not sure how anyone can truly criticize what she said. it was well-reasoned and honest. waiting until you’re ready to have children makes sense. being prepared is optimal. choosing not having children is perfectly acceptable. another person’s opinion on someone else’s fertility and choices is rather intrusive and rude.

momoftwins on June 29th, 2011

Wow, I can’t believe how many people know so little about infertility when it is basically raging rampid in our society. Age is a huge factor! I’m 26 and have a set of almost 1 yr old twins that were an absolute miracle, and I know it, according to my many doctors, they never should have happened the way they did. Of the 3 main causes of infertility I have 2 of them, and a good chunk of my friends have issues too, we are generally in our mid twenties to early 30′s and those infertility issues happen at any age, but they get exponentially worse the older you get b/c guess what, women only have a certain amount of eggs and those eggs deteriorate as we get older, we also can do things to our bodies that destroy those we have. If I had waited till I was 30 to try and have kids I would pretty much be guaranteed to have to do IVF, if I had any eggs left to do it with. I could get into the hormone levels and all that, but I won’t here.

Kids aren’t for everyone that’s fine, but I’ve learned that when you are told you can’t have something that’s a different thing, you may then want it and it’s not an option anymore. This is more of a cry to make sure you are ok before you put off having children, and most people don’t find that out till they are trying to have kids.

And for the record, my husband and I are both college graduates and we own our home. Kids don’t need to have everything and most that do are usually lacking in the things kids truly need which are time, attention, and love, and in my case siblings, no kid needs to be the sole focus of their parent, it makes for selfish adults, spreading the love helps. Ok, sorry for the long diatribe.

Annie W. on June 30th, 2011

Good for you Kellie.

Anonymous on July 1st, 2011

Selfish people don’t have kids if everyone were like you the human race would seize to exist

Pat on July 3rd, 2011

Kellie made a right choice to wait to start a family with her hubby. They need to enjoy life as married couple and have more fun in life before they’re ready in few years from now.