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Constance Marie’s Blog: Planting Luna Marie’s Pacifiers

06/15/2011 at 08:00 AM ET

We’re so thrilled to welcome back Constance Marie, our original celebrity blogger! The actress, mom to 2-year-old daughter Luna Marie with fiancé Kent Katich, stars on Switched at Birth, airing on ABC Family Mondays at 9 p.m.

Marie, 45, can also be found online on Facebook and @goconstance on Twitter. If you’ve missed any of her past posts, check them out here.

In her latest blog, the time has come for Luna Marie to quit her paci habit and the actress has quite the solution! Did you know planted pacifiers grow into lollipops?

Courtesy Constance Marie

Okay … this week: LETTING GO OF THE PACIFIER!

YEP, it was that time! Losing the pacifier time! And OMG I was sooooo dreading it! I had heard many, many horror stories. Like crooked teeth if kept too long … many struggles and failed attempts … and the scariest of all to me … children NEVER sleeping again!

I was terrified. Those of you who know me, KNOW I LOVE MY SLEEP!!! IF SLEEPING WAS A CATEGORY IN THE OLYMPICS, I COULD WIN US A GOLD MEDAL EVERY TIME! I am serious about my sleep.

Anyhoo, our little Luna Marie was just past 2. The age that the doctor said we could lose the pacifier if we wanted. I had gotten it to where Luna Marie only used it at night.

I learned early on that I HATED that sleepy walk down the hall because she had misplaced the one she had in her mouth, so my little girl had three in her crib at all times!!! One for the left hand, one for the right hand and one for the mouth! That way she had enough to find one in a sleepy haze, which she did quite well (she was like a little mole — eyes closed, roaming her hands back and forth til she hit one), but not so many that she would be playing with them. This worked brilliantly…

So now I was going to remove the one thing that for years had helped her relax, calm down and feel at one with the world. I felt horrible. I felt nervous! I had heard many “paci removal stories” and weighed all the advice and approaches.

Luna Marie was at the age where sharing … well, it was not her favorite thing to do. The whole “we have to give your pacis to little new babies who need them” was not gonna work. Sharing shmaring — she could care less.

And the “paci fairy” didn’t seem like the way to go to me. I knew Luna Marie would be crying for me to call her back and tell her we made a mistake the first day! And how was I going to resist that??? Did I lose her number? Did she move? What would be my excuse?! Too many details, too complicated!

I needed something permanent to make sure neither she nor I folded, but something that wasn’t too hardcore that would make me feel like the worst mother in the whole world.

And then ding! I remembered a story I heard about burying the pacifiers and having them turn into lollipops! So of course I stole it. That would be my master plan!!!

For like two weeks, I reminded Luna Marie that since she was a big girl and not a baby she would have to say “bye bye” to the pacis soon. When I told her she seemed fine with it … I think she just was so excited I was calling her a big girl. Which, I don’t know why, but she wants to be a big girl SO BADLY! (Crazy part, when we are older we always want to be younger! There is something wrong about that, but that is another blog!)

The night before BYE BYE PACIFIER Day comes … I tell her that we are down to five pacifiers. So what we are going to do in the morning is PLANT THEM in the ground. For every paci she plants, IF she sleeps the whole night, A LOLLIPOP would grow!! She was SO happy at this concept! Seriously not a moment of dread or fear … nada!

Courtesy Constance Marie

Morning comes. I had preselected two pots and got all her little gardening tools ready and said, “COME ON! LET’S PLANT SOME PACIFIERS!” I paused for like a millisecond before grabbing the last five and thought, “Wait, maybe I should leave one out, just in case she can’t do it?!” But I thought, “I know if I leave one … I will buckle.”

So I grabbed them all and off we go! To the front … to plant us some pacifiers!

I am so worried, but figured I would just keep on going til she started to balk … then we sat down, had our watering can ready, dug our holes, and OMG! She could not chuck those pacifiers into the dirt fast enough! Literally tossing them in two at time! I couldn’t dig holes in time!!

I was in shock! I kept saying, “Luna Marie you have to say ‘Bye bye paci! I am a big girl, I don’t need you anymore, I can sleep without you!'” And she just rattled it off like it meant nothing! She was soooo focused on the lollipops I guess! So we threw dirt on them (I knew I wouldn’t pull one out so I couldn’t go back), we patted them down, and we put water … NOW WE WAIT!

Cut to nap time! I remind her, “We buried the pacis and they are going to grow into lollipops … so no paci at nap time.” SHE LOOKED AT ME IN SHOCK like her heart dropped! Like she just at that moment got it! … C R A P!

THEN STARTS THE BEGGING!!! She says, “NO NO NO!!! PACIS PLEASE!!! I LOVE MY PACI. PLEEEEEZE!” Yep… NOW my heart is breaking … then racing …”ARE THERE ANY HIDDEN ANYWHERE???!!!” I THINK TO MYSELF. NO! CRAPPITY CRAP CRAP…!

I try to soothe her, tell her, “Remember, lollipops will grow — if you sleep!” I ask her to try … to which she croaks out an “Okay Mama…” Yes, I feel like the Grinch who stole Christmas.

The nap kinda goes well … a lot of crying and moaning … and then boom! She did it! Wow!

Cut to night time. Once again, I remind her she is a big girl … no more pacis … and tomorrow lollipops would grow. AGAIN WITH THE CRYING. NOW I know for sure I am the worst mother in the whole world!

I soothe, I remind, I rock a bit … and then I give her her lovey Limey — a little soft colored toy — and I say, “Limey will keep you company til you sleep.” This actually worked. I was amazed — first night, she actually fell asleep! UNTIL 2 A.M.!

At 2 a.m., it starts all over!!! The begging, the crying, the pleading … it has to be the saddest thing I have ever seen. I soothe, I REMIND, “When the morning comes, we will look and see if lollipops grew!” This phrase slowly does the trick. Once again, she tries to sleep.

Somehow, she makes it through the night. WHEW!!! She slept. Me, not so much. I was always on edge, thinking,”Is she gonna wake? Can she do it? Are there REALLY no more pacifiers in my diaper bag?! Why did I have to do it now?! Is it too gross, if I were to dig one out of the dirt?!” I thought it all!

I fell asleep for a few hours (I think) and when I woke, I ran downstairs and lovingly wrapped an organic lollipop in aluminum foil … with a stem and a lil leafy thing so I could poke it into the ground!

I know it’s ridiculous. I was so worried about the presentation. DUH! IT’S A LOLLIPOP!!! KIDS WILL CHEW OFF THEIR OWN ARM FOR CANDY!!! OF COURSE SHE WILL LOVE IT! I just couldn’t help it … I wanted it to be pretty.

Luna Marie wakes up. I PRAISE HER like she just graduated from Harvard!!! Seriously, I couldn’t stop gushing!!! And immediately she says, “I WANT TO SEE IF A LOLLIPOP GREW!” I tell you it was just like Christmas!

She ran to the door, trying to open it … she’s 2 so of course she couldn’t! But she was bouncing off it trying so hard … and then I helped her. She ran out into the front yard and stopped. She sees it, then she screams so loud, “MAMA A LOLLIPOP GREW!!! I AM A BIG GIRL NOW!!!”

Courtesy Constance Marie

The smile that spread on her face was huge! Perfect and precious! Honestly, I think I started crying! I was just so happy for her. (I am a wuss, I know.) Then she ran, dug it out and started dancing! I kid you not … you know, the happy food dance! I live on a busy street, so she told the neighbor Jim … she told the woman walking the dog! She was gushing to anybody and everybody!

And just like that, I felt like the GRINCH WHO SAVED CHRISTMAS! I wasn’t such a horrible mom after all. UNTIL I told her she had to wait til after breakfast to eat it!!! Oh boy!

THANK YOU LOLLIPOPS! YOU SAVED MY LIFE!

Courtesy Constance Marie

– Constance Marie

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Showing 84 comments

Brooke on

That is the best idea EVER…..I love the way you told the story and Luna Marie’s face is classic in the 2nd pic from the bottom.

Jami on

I hope it works this well with my 18month old when it’s time! Glad it’s now over for you and hope she kept it up!

M on

love that idea! my friend has her kids gather up theirs at age 3 and they use them like $ to buy a new toy. little kid gives them to the cashier and the mom slips the cashier the money.

Anonymous on

OMG – I LOVE this idea. My daughter was 2 in May and I’ve been dreading the same thing! So, do you give one lollipop a day for 5 days? Or just the one? This is seriously the best idea, I’ve heard of lots of them but never this one! Genius!

Karen on

As a Mom of 2 pacifier lovers in the past, this is no easy task! Both my boys sent their pacis on their way to Elmo so that Elmo could give them to the new babies. It worked, but it was still hard at times.

I like her idea & hopefully it’ll work for her in the days to come!

Magdi on

These was a great idea. I can’t wait for her ideas on potty training.

momof2 on

These blogs are wonderful — What a fantastic way to handle getting rid of the paci! Constance’s writing style and kid issues are so easy to relate to!

Tee on

What a great way to ditch the pacis! Congratulations, Luna, on being a big girl now! And way to stand firm, Momma! You did great!

sarawara on

I will never understand lying to children. I don’t mean for that to sound judgmental toward Constance Marie; I felt the same way when Garcelle lied to her son about the pink crocs. If you want your kids to value honesty, then you have to be honest. Throw the book at me if you’d like, but that’s my opinion.

And on a side note, sleep is also sacred around here! I totally relate to what Constance was saying. She is obviously a dedicated and hands on mother, a great writer and I enjoy her blog.

Erika on

This is such a great idea! I also like the idea of the ‘pacifier fairy’. I don’t see anything wrong with getting rid of them cold turkey (which my parents did with me lol- every time one fell on the floor, they threw it out until there were none left), however I think this idea makes it easier and less stressful for parents lol.

Kylie on

What a great idea and wonderful stoy, the end had me smiling! Such a beautiful little girl!

joan on

My oldest kids never took to pacifiers and the youngest one for only two months, so I never had this problem. But it was just as hard taking away the bottle. You just have to put it away, justify it to them the best you can and they will get over it. All of mine were off the bottle before 14 months.

And she didn’t lie to her kid. They planted it and a lollypop appeared. No lie there.

JayeDoll on

This story was too cute for words! I actually teared up and had a big smile on my face when I read how happy Luna Marie was to see her lollipops and make it into the “big girl” world!

This was so terrific this should be a children’s book! It was so well written I was sitting on the edge of my seat!

Toya L. on

Where was this post a month ago? Lol j/k great post. It’s going on 3 weeks and we are paci free, (LONG) over due. The bottle was gone at 9 months for the last child and 1 year for the rest but the paci is a different story. : )

KRISTIN on

Always love her blogs. She seems so creative with her problem solving techniques. Any of you remember her “shadow cheerleader” blog? That blog had me laughing for days. She just always seems to come up with the coolest tricks. I also noticed that little Luna Marie is wearing a ponytail. Yeah for her!

Sarah on

I’m so glad you are back Constance! I always love reading your blogs! Such great stories :)

Jillian on

Jean, a lollipop doesn’t come from a paci, so….that is not the truth. Which means a fib, lie, etc. If you are not telling the truth, you are doing what?

I think that the creativity is great. But I did not and would not bribe my child with candy. That is a rule in our home. One thing we did with my niece was send hers to the “Paci Fairy” for the other babies. My daughter helped and they collected them and put them in a bag and put the bag in the mailbox. The bag was decorated with ribbons and glitter, etc. The next day after the mail came, the bag was there with a toy and a thank you note from the “Paci Fairy.” It worked for her and no more paci’s were bought for my niece, leaving the rest of them available to the other babies.

Jenn on

Her daughter looks exclusively like her!!

Jess on

Without trying to sound mean, I have a question to the Mothers who don’t beleive in lying to your kids…
What do you tell the children about Santa, Easter Bunny, or The Tooth Fairy…in all honesty the paci fairy is lying to your kids too..isn’t it?? Anyways what an adorable story!!!

Jess on

@Jillian, The paci-fairy IS lying to your kids..a fairy does not come and take the pacis an give them to other babies and replace them with a toy, it is basically the same as the lollipop theory

Jillian on

Jess,
1. I never said that the Paci Fairy is not lying.
2. I never lied to my daughter because she knew exactly what the truth was the entire time. My niece was not told the truth, at the time, but that was the choice of her parents.
3. I don’t believe bribing children with candy or food is ever acceptable, as I already said above.

Carla on

This is a good idea, my son who will be 3 on July 3rd is addicted to the paci, I was always a stickler for kids not having them and then he was born and very determined to suck on something so here we are almost 3 yrs later with the problem. He really only wants it when he’s tired but still gonna be a hard task to tackle, Im dreading it but I gotta do it sometime. Maybe I’ll try this idea if nothing else works.

Toya L. on

I highly doubt there is a parent on earth who hasn’t lied by omission, told a fib, white, black, green, red or yellow lie to their kids. I will personally call anybody *except my elders* who says that they have not told a lie to themselves/others (if not solely their own kid, *as if that would make their lying a difference*) a bold faced LIAR!!

Holly on

Very cute way to handle that situation Constance!

When I was about 18 months old, we [my family] were on our way home from Six Flags. I was in the backseat in my car seat with the window rolled partially down. My mom told me that I took my paci out of my mouth and pretended to throw it out the window. She said, “Holly Marie, if you throw that pacifier out the window, it will be gone forever. You can’t get it back.” I was 18 months old. So I tossed it out the window! That night, my paci was nowhere to be found. My mom tells me I cried that one night, and was perfectly fine the following morning. I think sometimes it hurts the parents more than the child to see their baby upset. But I think we’ve all turned out alright =) I’m so glad you’re back! I love your new show!

mommytoane on

Its funny how some kids are so easy some are tough. :) My DD gave up the paci on her own. Just one day woke up, told me she didn’t want it anymore….took her Belle doll to bed instead and was fine. My nephew….we tried EVERYTHING with! We planted paci’s (Does not work when the little one goes out and digs them up…sticks them in mouth dirt and all), we tried a paci fairy, we pretended to give the paci’s to a new baby in the family. Everything! Then just out of the blue one day he woke up…and decided he was done.

As for lying to children. St Nicholas…aka Santa Claus is real. No lies there. He may not travel around every night, but he IS real. He’s the SPIRIT of Christmas. :) Keep in mind. Kids believe in fairy tales, they believe in wonder, they believe in their imaginations. LET THEM. Don’t make kids grow up to be unimanagitive, uninventive people. Let them grow up to be them. Imaginations, fairy tales and all.

M! on

This is really cute! When my son was 16 months I finally took his paci’s away. I just threw most of them out except his two “favorites”. I took him to build a bear and let him pick a toy and clothes and they put the paci’s inside of it. I still catch him pinching the pacis inside his paci dog every now and then.

Of course he’s gone from needing the paci to needing the dog every night at least the dog’s not messing up his teeth.

As for lying. I lie to my son all the time. Santa. Easter bunny. I got this idea from the Keebler cookie commercials about putting elf doors on trees. I had my dad help me install one on a tree stump outside. We make wishes on stars and dandelions. When the day comes we’ll do the tooth fairy thing. Even though we didn’t have a lot of money my parents went all out on making my childhood as magical and memorable as can be. I don’t feel that they deceived me in anyway. The very idea that parents would deny their children that type of fun because they’re so hung up on being honest makes me sad. Save the honesty for when they’re older. That’s good. Let em be little though..

Hayley on

please, i need to send you to my sister! she has 3 kids a 6 year old, a 4 tear old and a 2 year old. the 2 younger boys just gave the dummy up by themselves when they were about 1, but it is the 6 year old. They first tried when she was 4, and got mum to pay her a $1 a day for giving up the dummy, of course this didn’t work, but she still got the money because she *wanted it*. She is now 6 and still has it.

I admire your commitment to not give in and stick to your decision, you don’t want a 6 year old with a dummy, there is a point where you decide it is time and you have to stick to it. Kids will be upset, but they aren’t hurting without the paci, Bravo, and well done to Luna.

Jillian on

As for lying to children. St Nicholas…aka Santa Claus is real. No lies there. He may not travel around every night, but he IS real. He’s the SPIRIT of Christmas. Keep in mind. Kids believe in fairy tales, they believe in wonder, they believe in their imaginations. LET THEM. Don’t make kids grow up to be unimanagitive, uninventive people. Let them grow up to be them. Imaginations, fairy tales and all.

Mommytoane

I love what you said, so true!

We do Santa Claus, St Nick, Easter Bunny, etc….. we feel this is acceptable to tell my daughter that these exist. IWe don’t feel it’s acceptable to lie about why she can’t have a pair of shoes and then laugh, while telling someone else the story. If she asks for something and I am not getting it for her, I tell her no. I don’t make something up. I don’t want her to learn it’s okay to lie when I ask her something.

Melissa on

What a cute idea! I recently took my 2 1/2 year old son to Build-A-Bear to put his pacifier in a new stuffed animal’s belly. He was such a good boy about it, and only cried for a few minutes the first night! I think my anxiety over having him give up the pacifier ended up being way out of proportion to his actual reaction – a good lesson for mommy!

Tammie on

HI,
This is such a cute pacifier story. I love how Mom’s come up with inventive ways to get around trying to hurt their little ones feelings along with losing sleep. I do not understand why people have to look so deep into it as to say that a mom is being untruthful to their babies. Give me a break, Can you honestly tell me that the Mom who said that you should not Lie to your child can not make me believe that you have never to them something that was not true. I love these inventive ideas. I really enjoyed your blog.

claudiazz on

My mom was environmentally concerned before it was cool and so she used glass baby bottles for me when I was a baby. She told me that I accidentally dropped a bottle out of my crib and she capitalized on the opportunity to tell me that since the bottle was broken, I would have to be without one in the future. She said I looked at the situation forlornly but realized that I had caused the demise of the bottle and must suffer the consequences. She said that I accepted my fate and realized that there were no more bottles.

Monica on

When my oldest was 2.5 yrs my youngest was born. Her dentist had told me twice that I needed to get rid of the binky because it was starting to give her a serious overbite- which would go away within a few weeks of no binky. She only used it at night but I was worried with the new baby that she might still need the binky- and God knows I did NOT need 2 kids up all night crying! So we just started talking about the binky fairy and how she takes binkys away from big boys and girls that don’t need them anymore and gives them to new babies that do. It really helped her to see her little sister with a binky to realize that binkys are really only for babies. I let her decide what the binky fairy would give her in exchange for her binky- she decided that binky fairy pays so she got $1 for her binky. She did just fine without and only asked for it like 2 times after it was gone. Both times we explained where it went and that binkys are for babies only and she got over it quickly. And the best part is that her teeth went back to normal!

Jenna on

So… its okay to bribe your kids with toys… but not lollipops?

Or are we supposed to just crush our children and tell them, “no more paci for you! I don’t care if you scream and cry!”

Constance Marie did what she thought would be the best way for her daughter to cope with giving up her paci. The child is not going to grow up thinking that lollipops grow from burying pacifiers! She won’t even remember… Eventually, it will just be a fun story for her parents to look back on and tell her about.

Jenna on

@ Melissa

Cute idea! At least then he has something he can sunggle with and feel comforted by at night :)

Jillian on

I don’t bribe my child with anything, toys or candy. When my child went off the bottle she cried and it was sad but that’s better than bribery. Crying never hurt anyone.

Lily on

That was a fantastic idea. She is TOO cute.

blessedwithboys on

Don’t agree with any of this…pacis are nothing but breast substitutes. Yes, some women truly can’t breastfeed (post-mastectomy mamas, mamas like my friend who needed chemo 3 days after birth, etc.) but Constance has already told us that she gave up on breastfeeding early on. Since a child should nurse for at least 24 months, but really as long as they want for proper physical and emotional development, if you’ve already taken away the breast, why take away the breast substitute on top of that? That just seems cruel.

If a mother had just nursed for a biologically appropriate amount of time, the paci would not be needed. And “extended” BF doesn’t jack up the bite like pacis do. So it’s like the mother creates one problem and fixes it by creating another.

I also can’t imagine giving a 2yo candy, or lying to a child no matter what their age.

Maggie on

According to her blog Constance breastfed for 10 months, and it was a struggle.

http://celebritybabies.people.com/2010/08/04/constance-maries-blog-lets-talk-boobs/

I really wouldn’t call that “giving up early on.”

Amanda on

I think Luna Marie looks like the perfect mix of her mom and dad.

This was an awesome story, Constance! When are you writing a book? You are so talented.

annie on

It sounds like giving up the paci was more a problem for Mom than child. I agree with others who have said just reason with the child, be firm, and eventually everything will be fine.

Melissa on

My daughter is 19 months. At 14 months, I threw out the pacifiers (at her doctors request.) I told her big girls didn’t need them. A week later, I bought her two new ones. The whole week she cried all night long and through nap time. I couldn’t take it anymore. My husband and I decided to wait until she is 2. I told her that they stay in the crib for sleepy sleep time. She tries to climb into the crib to get them. I don’t understand. She didn’t care about giving up her bottle and She took off her diaper one day and never looked back, but the pacifier can’t go.

To Jess who said “I never lied to my daughter because she knew exactly what the truth was the entire time.” I’m sorry but there is no way that a 1 or 2 year old is going to know what the exact truth is. At that age, they believe what mommy and daddy tell them.

Jillian on

Melissa, my comment about my daughter not being lied to was in reference to the Paci Fairy. I told her it wasnt really. She was told the truth. Please read the string of comments to understand. Either way….not sure what you are referring to as my daughter wasn’t one or two at the time. What are you talking about?

Ally on

Breast is NOT always best for baby…..I had no problems nursing, but my son did….he was allergic to any and all milk and milk proteins until he was three. Thankfully he grew out of it; I still have lingering guilt because I was so fixated on being a “good mom” by breastfeeding that I didn’t listen to what my infant’s body was trying to tell me.

Every child and parent is different, people need to remember and respect the fact that what works for one family does not work for others. Instead of judging, be happy for Constance that she was able to effectively get rid of her daughter’s paci. While lollipops do not grow from paci’s, a little girl learned to be independant adn sleep on her own…..how can that be a bad thing.

Congrats to Constance and Luna Marie on breaking the paci habit!! Great blog!!

Jess on

I wasn’t implying St Nick or the spirit of Christmas, I mean the tons of parents I see around the Holidays saying “You better be good or Santa isn’t going to bring you anything..As for my kids aged 15 and 17 they never believed in Santa, Not because I didn’t want them to, they just didn’t, (I think an older cousin had something to do with that) I am not here trying to be mean or anything, I was just honestly curious about parents who never lie to the kids, What do they say about Santa, Easter Bunny and all others…

Toya L. on

Blessedwithboys- lying is lying, whether it’s to an adult, other people’s children, or your own. Someone that doesn’t lie to their child *yeah right* is on the same exact level as someone who has lied to their boss to get out of work, or to a family member/friend to get out of a function, lied by ommission, told a harmless lie etc…. and EVERYONE has done it. It’s probably just me but until pacifers can produce breast milk, I can’t see them as a breast subsitute.

CHD on

LOVE the matching t-shirts you are wearing in the top picture!

Toya L. on

@Jess – I get what you’re saying and to be honest and technical, even if people do give gifts in the spirit of St. Nick “because he DID exist”, he’s not alive and passing out gifts ions of years later. So by omitting to tell your child that you, friends and loved ones are giving them gifts in the spirit of St. Nick and having them think that Santa is giving them gifts (ME), is still lying, like Constance did about the lollipops. People can sugar coat that FACT all they want but the facts remain; harmless, little or big, a lie is a lie.

Laura on

Love, love, love the story Constance. It is great and maybe it was more for you than for her but you love your kid and don’t want her to suffer unduly. I was lucky, my kids didn’t do pacifiers for very long. Actually 2 did and 2 didn’t. The 2 that did only until they were about 6 or 7 months old then they just spit them out and were kinda grossed out by them. The oldest then became a “rubber” and so was his brother. What I mean is that he had a pillow with a long serged hem hanging off of it(maybe an inch)and when he went to sleep he would rub it between his fingers. Same with my 2nd kid except his was the tags on his blanket. He would rub them together. Many was the night that we were frantically flinging his blanket around trying to find that stinking tag!

As for you non-liars, you are the people that will spend 45 minutes having a “discussion” about why something is unacceptable. You are dry and limited in your view of the world. It’s black and white for you. Personally, I will take magic and colors and fairies and Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and leperchauns and all of it! Our world is filled with fun and happiness, just like Luna Marie’s life is filled with pacis that turn into organic lollipops.

LP on

What a creative way to handle that situation! My friend gathered all of her daughters paci’s and took them to Build a Bear and let her daughter chooses the bear, clothes and accessories and had all of the paci’s put inside. They named it the paci bear. That little girl would cling to that bear and of course, nap time and bed time were terrible for a few days! But it really worked, and they still have paci bear!

Jenna on

Oh theres blessedwithboys again with her negative bs as always!

Jillian on

As for you non-liars, you are the people that will spend 45 minutes having a “discussion” about why something is unacceptable. You are dry and limited in your view of the world. It’s black and white for you. Personally, I will take magic and colors and fairies and Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and leperchauns and all of it! Our world is filled with fun and happiness, just like Luna Marie’s life is filled with pacis that turn into organic lollipops.
Laura

You couldn’t be farther from the truth Laura!! I would rather spend time explaining the truth (It doesn’t take anywhere near 45 minutes) to my child them lying to them because there is no need to lie. Of course there are things, I don’t tell my child directly that are 100% full of truth. But when she wants something from the store, she gets the truth. There is not one acceptable reason to lie about this. Our life is full of so much fun, creativity and the world is very grey! It is very simple to have these things AND to live a life of being honest.

I am sure as my child gets older I may hold things back from her because she may not need to know them. But as of right now, she doesn’t ask enough for me to not be truthful.

For those that say they lie to their children under the age of FOUR……other than Santa, Easter Bunny, etc…..what are you lying about? No negative feelings just curious.

M! on

@Jillian,

Other than the fun Santa type make believe things, I could only think of a few instances where I lied to my son. Like one day he came into the bathroom when I was changing a menstrual pad. He asked about it. I panicked and I told him I had a booboo and it was like my bandaid. Afterwards I thought of a billion other non technical ways that I could have explained that to him. If it ever comes up again, I’ll try to right my wrong.

I can also remember lying to him about a package of garlic flavored griller sausages. I let him pick foods sometimes and he picked them saying they looked good. I doubted he would like them and knew that no one else would so I told him they had hot peppers in them and he picked something else.

I had to look up the story about the pink crocs. I would have let my son have the crocs. I don’t like the fact that she told her son he could have something and then went back on it and blamed someone else. People are bringing up what that woman did here and I think there’s a difference. Lollipops from paci’s and Santa Clause surely could never cause any ill feelings from child to parent.

Maria on

I read this story with interest because I have a 15 month old who is a paci addict- which is totally my own fault, I admit. Husband and I thought we would have weaned him of the paci by now but no way- when it means a crying upset non sleepign baby versus a calm sleeping baby we definately choose the paci still.

I was interested to read this apporach but I did also feel that the mom was essentially lying to the child. It was done very kindly and I don’t see any harm in this really- but I think I would and will try to do an approach that does not involve me saying something to my child that is totally untrue such as that we plant the paci and it turns onto a lolli./ what if he then tries to do that at age 3? Then I either would have to lie again or tell him that what I say is not always what is actually true- I don’t know how I will wean my baby from his paci- I am pretty nervous about it actually. But I am not a fan of lying to my child, but I can see why she did and how it was a creative solution for her

KP on

Wow Constance I love your stories & how creative your are @ doing the best for Luna Marie! God bless you immensely & keep giving you the intelligence & wisdom to be a great mom & person.

Joyce on

What is with all these celebrities? I have seen so many pictures of famous people with their two and three year old kids still sucking on a pacifier. My daughter was throwing both her pacifier and bottle out of her crib before she was a year old. She didn’t want them anymore. She didn’t want a sucking toy for bed and as for getting beverages, she was into her tippy cup. These famous kids are coddled to much and babied by parents and paiud help. (suri Cruise is the worst example!

rachelle on

with four grown children, i read this blog with a bit of melancholy.

my oldest, was fascinated with the garbage chute in our apt. building. one day down went the binkis. no problems. my 3rd, a boy, never wanted one. my fourth, a boy, lost interest early. however, my #2, my daughter, she could not part with the bink. when she was 2 we put limits on where she could have the binki, in the car and in bed. there were days when she would just go sit on her bed to have binki time. a wise person told me “she probably won’t take it to kindergarten and she definitely won’t have it walking down the aisle”. eventually she gave it up, but i sometimes think when the days seem hectic and the stress levels grow, how nice it would be if we could all just have binki time….

RachelinAZ on

SO glad it went well and the photos are priceless!

Stuff “like” this will happen down the road… trust me! My kids didn’t have an attachment until 3-4ish.

My (now 4) 3 year old has his FAVORITE Spiderman hat… We had our windows down, and he (us not knowing until he started wailing). He had stuck his hat outside, watching it blow in the wind… Wouldn’t ya know it, he lost control… and we knew the second it happened.

My hat, my best hat. Mommmmmmy (as Daddy is trying to find a place to get off the freeway), I wubbbbbbbbb my hat. I just wuuuuuuubbb it!

Thank goodness we found it! And I found a second one, JUST in case this ever happens again.

sylvia on

What a great idea! Your my favorite blogger, keep up the great work!!!,xo

Rebecca Jayne on

Oh my goodness, if this is LYING than are all forms of pretending lying?? We’re talking about children! When my daughter brings me a lego “hair brush” she’s made and tries to brush my hair, is it LYING to pretend along with her? Come on, people! It was a sweet, thoughtful, creative solution that helped a CHILD through a difficult transition. I am very forthcoming with my children and I always give them honest explanations when they ask questions. When my kids begin to question Santa/EasterBunny/ect, I’ll let them in on the secret game. But that’s all it is, a fun, secret game that enriches the lives of children. Get off your high horse – it’s your own children who miss out because of your simple way of looking at the world.

FC on

Aww, I think that is the cutest, most effective story. And, hey, killed two birds with one stone. The pacis are gone and, judging from the adorable photos, Luna’s a happy girl. I’d say win-win! ;)

RUTH on

OMG!! I wish I would had known about this when my children were little and it was time to get rid of tht paci now their 18 and 13 yrs old. Hurray!!! for Luna Marie Dios te Bendiga you did it. Congrats mom on sticking to it and not giving in bravo not an easy thing to do to your child.

Jillian on

Pretending is not lying.

Vanessa on

It was shortly after my daughter turned 2 that we were able to get rid of the paci. We were at BRU shopping one day when she dropped it on the floor in the parking lot. As with food, we would always tell her not to eat something after it has fallen on the floor because it’s dirty. So when the paci hit the floor she right away wanted to throw it away. So I let her to see what would happen. We finished our shopping trip w/out her asking for it. Well once we were home she did ask for it and even though we had more, I just kept reminding her that SHE threw it away at the store. It took a few days for her to get over but overall it was a blessing!

Lorelai on

I cried when I she said the lollipop grew!! amazing amazing job Constance, and I will pass on this story with anyone with a paci issue. Luna Marie is so grown now! (I read all your original blogs) and beautiful as always. The second pic of her smiling with the lollipop in hand is priceless, what a wonderful memory for you to tell her later on.

NIKKI on

I don’t understand how a parent can snootily point the finger at marie about ‘never understanding’ it being wrong to lie to kids but say it’s okay to tell them the tooth fairy gives you money for teeth or that ‘Saint’ Nick’ bought all their Christmas Gifts Or the Easter Bunny leaves boiled eggs for them….and then that same parent feels the need to hang out on this blog and defend their decision all day :-)! Children have the luxury of living in a fantasy world for at least the 1st 4yrs of their lives or until they start school. The truth does come out in good time folks. Sheesh!!!!!!

Aneta on

I love these blogs, so glad to have Constance Marie back! The one thing that bothered me about some of the posts here is the use of the word never. I never lie, I never bribe with candy… Who sets up all these ridiculous and rigid rules in their life? I think these women are lying to themselves if they really think they are so perfect. I guess it is much easier to post something in a comment than really live it.

Chrissy on

Thank you so much for your blog. I don’t have any kids yet (the big 3-0 is looming in 2 months) Hell I don’t even have a boyfriend! But I just told my girlfriend that I want to like print out all of your blog entries and save them for when I need them haha. Kind of like a new baby Bible! Keep up the good work!

Halley on

First of all, that is very clever! I will definitely suggest it to friends who are having the paci struggle. For me personally, the only thing that worked was never letting a paci in the house! LOL! Nary a paci has crossed my child’s lips! Only because I know I would buckle. I have a friend who’s son is almost five and still with the paci. I couldnt do it. So paci is a bad word in our house ;)

andi on

that is a great idea! getting rid of the binki was hard at our home. I finally told our two year old daughter… we needed to give all the binkis to the “binki” ferries….for all the little babies…then the ferry would come and give you a dolly…because big girls sleep with dollies. It worked for the most part….now I am trying to train our daughter to sleep in her own bed….but there is a lion in the closet.,..love being a MOM!!!

Cyndi Rodabaugh on

Dont judge her parenting skills people !! This is her child and this is what worked for her daughter ! Just Enjoy the darling story !! All people lie from time to time – Its human nature !!

mamacoo on

LOVE LOVE LOVE this! I am going through this right now and decided to hold off for 4 more months… on his 2nd birthday this is the plan! thank you;)

moi on

jillian one word, absurd u re

GEmommy on

I don’t understand why some parents are OVERLY judgemental on how another person parents. Just because a mother/father doesn’t do something the way you would have doesn’t give you ANY right to judge their parenting skills! Look at how happy and proud little Luna is that she is a big girl and no longer needs her binky. No one is perfect and there is no law stating how a mother/father should parent. PLEASE get over yourself and not judge how another person parents.

Stephanie on

I gave my son his last bottle and his last Paci/bink on his 1st birthday. He didn’t balk, cry (although I did because I loved feeding time because I felt like it was my special time with him- I work).I didn’t give in, and I didn’t have an issue other than 1 night I had to tell them “the bink is all gone, you are a big boy now.” He just accepted that. The worst thing that happened was he started calling other kids babies who used a paci… hmmm I don’t see why this is so rough for some people. Maybe I am luckier than I know.

Jillian on

Moi, That is three words. And they don’t make sense. What does, “Absurd u re,” mean?

And I think that some may be confused at what others are saying on this blog that welcomes a discussion. It is her choice to do what she did, and I am happy that she did it and it worked. Her daughter is happy and that is all that is important for her family. Obviously, what she did is not going to work for every family and for my daughter it would not, but for my niece it did. So, I am not judging her. I am saying for ME, I don’t agree with the one she did things. That is not judging.

Kate on

So happy to see you back blogging Constance – you’re totally my favourite. :-)
This post was so heart-warming, and had me smiling from ear to ear, all the way through. You are one great mom.

anna on

Loved your story. managed to have two children .. 15 months apart while husband was out on sea duty/navy. When bringing baby home ..my baby of 15 months came over to me and said. Here baby you can have my bottle now! So Good gentle and generous it made me cry.Assuring him he did not have to give up his beloved bottle ..he offered all his toys & taught baby to crawl early. Now all grown up with babies of their own.. the Love of their beings shines in our world today. How fortunate we are to have You!!

Carolyn on

Two years old is way too old in my mind to get rid of a pacifier. Oh, gosh I still shudder at the not to long ago photos of Suri (Tom Cruise’s daughter) walking around with one!! Pacifiers are just that to ‘pacify’ an infant (not a toddler!!!) but moms across the world will continue to argue otherwise cause it makes it ‘easier’ on them (the moms!). Guess what? when you take the pacifier away from an infant who is ready, guess what they don’t even know it’s gone! Geez

Maryanne on

Thank you so much for sharing this idea! We had done the “binky fairy” 8 years ago for my oldest, and it worked fine but my 2.5yr old daughter wanted none of it!

We tried this the night after I read it, and I was SHOCKED that it worked! When we did it, we made a bit of a big deal waving goodbye to the binks before we put the dirt on them (my daughter told them she was a big girl now and didnt need them anymore) …we have had to put pops in the pot three mornings in a row though, as she wakes up every AM anxious to check the “binky pot” …
It has now been 4 nights with no binkies, and while she still whines a few minutes each night for them, it doesnt last long and she sleeps straight through the night.

Thank you Constance Marie for sharing this!

alise on

Why are pacifiers such a big deal? It’s almost inevitable that the majority of people these days require some sort of orthodontics at some point in their lives. Our jaws are not as wide or large to accomodate our teeth as they once were. Give kids a break, and they will eventually relinquish their paci when they’re ready.

Caroline on

Great solution. We traded our 3 1/2 yo son’s pacifiers for a He-Man sword. It was the 80’s. We do have a picture of him skiing with his pacifier tho.

CH on

I believe it was on the “Supper Nanny” show where they had little bags and hung them on the tree and told the kids the “paci fairy” would come get them and leave them a gift for becoming “big kids”. The parents when after they feel asleep and exchanged it for small gifts and the children were happy! I’m glad Luna Marie loved her lollipops, that was a cute idea. I have 4 kids, but never used paci’s with any..partly for that reason and also for the “lost, cant find, then uncontrolling screaming!” LOL

Jenn MKE on

This is the sweetest story ever! I love the “little mole” imagery – SO cute! I haven’t had to tackle these obstacles yet (my DD is 7 months old), but I’m dreading it! I could completely relate to the heartbreak – so glad there was a triumphant ending. Such a cute story! Great blog post.

Anna on

Is there a way to find out where Luna Marie’s clip is from (the pink felt flower). Looks like one of ours at Moo G Clips, but I’m hoping to confirm!

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