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Garcelle Beauvais: I’m Making Lemonade Out of Life’s Lemons

05/31/2011 at 08:00 AM ET
Joe Scarnici/Wireimage

Garcelle Beauvais is making the most out of life’s occasional speed bumps.

After finalizing her divorce from Mike Nilon in April — with whom she has fraternal twins Jax Joseph and Jaid Thomas, 3½ — the actress began to make “lemonade out of the lemons we got,” including an extra sweet spot on her new series Franklin & Bash.

“I really wanted an ensemble cast so that I wouldn’t have to work every day so I could be with the boys too,” Beauvais, 44, tells USA Today.

“Now that I’m sharing them with their dad, I don’t have them all the time, which is the biggest disappointment of my life.”

Equally as painful, at times, is the memory of Beauvais’ late mother. According to the proud mama — also mom to son Oliver, 20 — exciting moments with her boys often leave her reaching for the phone, only to realize Mom will no longer answer.

“Sometimes my kids will do something really funny and I can’t call my mom and tell her or I can’t make a video and send it to her,” she says. “The hardest part is the finality of it.”

Fortunately, in honor of her own mother’s absence, Beauvais has learned to enjoy each and every second she spends with her family.

“Women feel so much pressure to multitask all the time,” she explains. “I’m trying really hard to be in the present and not be worrying so much about what I should have done or what I’m going to do.”

– Anya Leon

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Showing 37 comments

J on

“Now that I’m sharing them with their dad…” you weren’t before? And you’re disappointed that you don’t get to be the one and only parent? Sounds to me like you should have skipped marriage and headed for a sperm bank. Jeeze, some women.

Maggie on

No, she wasn’t, because they were all living in the same house until she discovered his cheating:

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20359916,00.html

Have some compassion.

Indira on

I really think she’s a beautiful women and a good actress, it’s a shame she didn’t have a bigger career.

Sarah K. on

Wow, J. She’s talking about the fact that her kids don’t live with her part-time whereas they used to before you know…her husband cheated on her.

Sharing your kids with your husband is a completely different animal than sharing your kids with an ex. She now has had to get used to extended periods of times where she can’t even hug her kids.

I’m with Maggie – have some compassion.

NaeNae on

WOW J. She got cheated on. Not her fault!! I agree with Maggie.

jlove on

She MEANS she misses her boys. Before they all lived together so she saw them everyday. Now they are gone half the time and that hurts. Her husband cheated on her and changed their family’s LIFE.. I would be disappointed too. If I could not see my little girl everyday it would hurt like hell.

Karen on

I feel very sad for her and other parents that don’t get to see their children everyday.

To the first poster…. wow. Please post a pic online of you inserting your foot in your mouth.

Stella Bella on

That is so sweet that she misses her boys. So often after a divorce people say that the one good thing is that they get some “me time” (when the child is with the other parent) and I always wonder how their kids take that.

Amy on

Stella – maybe if you were a divorced parent, you would understand “me” time. As a married couple – if you want “me” time, the other parent eagerly steps in. That often isn’t the case when divorced. So, when that single parent has the opporunity to have time alone, it is a real treat. Doesn’t mean we love our kids any less.

van on

I give her credit, after what her husband did at least she is putting her kids first and getting along with him. Now if only someone else we know who’s name is HALLE could do the same.

Cynthia on

@Van unless you know the in’s and out’s of Halle’s relationship, you shouldn’t judge.

Karen on

Sounds like she’s as good a mom to her boys as her mom was to her. That’s the best tribute she can give her mom and the success that matters the most.

greta 526 on

“Now that I’m sharing them with their dad, I don’t have them all the time, which is the biggest disappointment of my life.”

this statement makes her seem like a downright b!tch … i know her husband cheated on her, and she had every right to divorce him, but they are his children too !!

christine on

I think what she meant when she said it was a dissappointment to share them with their father was that she doesnt get to be with them all of the time because they now live in two households rather than all of them living under the same roof. the disappoinment is her family being split apart due to divorce and her husbands infidelities, not the fact that her children have a mother AND a father. Rather than saying “GEEZ, SOME WOMEN”, how about “GEEZ, SOME MEN. WHY CANT THEY KEEP IT IN THEIR PANTS?”

joy on

thanks Amy for the clarification… Some people take everything so literal. smh

THF on

@J you are an idiot!
I am in the minority here but I think if a spouse has caused the break up of the marriage the courts should allow the other spouse the decision over when and where the child can be seen. Why should the non offending parent be penalized by not seeing their children ALL the time, because the other acted dishonorably.

My situation is a bit different, my husband left me and our 6 month old son while I was undergoing cancer treatment. He made no attempt to see his son for over two years and gave no support. When he was finally ordered to pay support ( as yet we have seen nothing- he lives overseas), he suddenly wanted visitation. The court refused and he is not allowed to see our son without MY permission.

Patty on

I always liked her and she is talented and beautiful but I like her personality. Her husband cheated on her and that goes to show you that some men are just dogs. I wish her happiness and joy in her life because she strikes me as being a really nice woman.

Marg on

Wow! It sounds like all the little mommies on this site need some “me” time. Now all the mommies go sit in a quiet corner, you can all come back out when everyone can play nice :)

bella on

to those snapping at her for saying she’s disappointed that she can’t spend every moment with her kids, what is your problem?! if i were accustomed to living with my boys then suddenly, i had to go hours or days without them, that’d be a huge disappointment to me as well as many other mothers.

she’s not saying anything cruel, b!tchy or mean. all she’s doing is expressing the sadness most parents feel when they are separated from their kids for extended periods of time. some of you can be so judgmental and harsh…

Kel on

Yeah, may as well as enjoy the me time, there is nothing you can do about having time when you don’t have the kids because they are with the other parent, so why not enjoy it? Why feel guilty? The other parent is entitled to their time and the other parent without the kids is entitled to being happy, both when they do and don’t have the kids. Better get used to it, when they grow up and fly away you are going to be in the same boat whether there are two parents in the house or one. Better to make them happy and well adjusted to the two-parent households then grow up neurotic because they feel like it is their fault that “mommy is unhappy when I go away with Daddy”. Grow up, it is not your kids job to make you happy

Jess on

there’s nothing wrong with what she said….all she is saying is that she misses her kids while they are with their daddy….she isn’t trying to be bitchy or anything so Kel, J, and Greta 526 stop being so judgemental and harsh.

Cheri on

@Kel — they are 3.5 years old. Most parents miss the growth and changes that happen while the children are away from them. It doesn’t mean that they are relying on the children for their happiness. There is also a huge sense of failure for most people who have gone through a divorce and having that impact the children adds to that loss.

Instead of disecting every word the woman said, calling her names, etc., why don’t we all agree that the father is doing the right thing in spending time with his children, both parents miss the children when they are at the other parent’s home and we should all be more worried about the children in orphanages.

Jaye on

Totally agree! I feel for her missing her boys and her momma. It is very difficult when your babies are away from you and you are not able to be with them everyday.

Natalie on

There are some serious bitter bia’s on this board. Straight up Evil *side eyes J, Greta and Kel*. My guess is you guys are missing some of the male persuasion in your life.

Liz on

She clearly meant that she is sad that they are not all under the same roof anymore and that she is forced to have time away from her sons because they have to see their father too. I would be disappointed as well, it’s horrible to have your family break apart like that! Everyone dreams of having a happy, together family, I really think that is all she meant.

THF on

@Natalie. Thanks for saying that. I was thinking the same thing. Anyone that has the nerve to question the intentions of a mother and her children seriously lacks a soul. @kel how dare you tell a mother not to “rely on their children for their happiness”. You must NOT be a mother if you think that is something you can control. Whether you like it or not, once you become a mom you no longer own your own heart, it now exists outside your body. I pity you bitter “ladies”

Mac on

Wow, the seriously harsh words about her “sharing” comment are ridiculous and unnecessary. She comes across as neither a bitch nor a woman who depends on her children for happiness.

Instead of looking at it through YOUR life experience, try to imagine what is is like for her. Put yourself in her shoes. She’s a newly-divorced mom of 3-1/2 year old twins who, until she divorced their father because he had a multi-year affair with another woman, were living with her under the same roof. It’s an adjustment to share custody of the children with her ex-husband who lives elsewhere.

Anyone who has experienced a divorce and shared custody arrangement should understand the difficulty especially with such young children. Yes, the children are their father’s too. However, the article isn’t about him. It’s about her as a mother. There is nothing wrong with her expressing her feelings. Let’s use a little perspective before commenting.

Marie on

I totally got what she meant about “sharing them”. Sharing them in the same house is different than them going off to stay with an ex, where you do not see them for a weekend, overnight or holidays.

Baker on

Some of these comments are incredulous and quite nasty. Thankfully, others have been kind, understanding and positive to Ms. Beauvais new life.

She is an intelligent, talented, beautiful woman who deserves the best. Unfortunately, she had a jerk for a husband and now she now the kids are split between two residences. She articulated what a lot of single mothers are feeling, she doesn’t want to miss out on one second of their lives. I applaud her for that, it shows what a fantastic mother she is. It is the hardest job ever and when I see women relish in it I couldn’t respect her more and millions of great mothers around the world. I never post comments, but some of the ugliness compelled me to. We are all women why must we speak negatively against a woman who is going through one of the most public and painful times in her life. Please if you have nothing nice to say keep it to yourself because she doesn’t deserve it. In essence some of you are being bully’s, please stop. You never know when you will be in a similar situation. Let’s encourage and be positive towards one another, it’s so very easy.

Ms. Beauvais I have loved watching you on the screen, you have always been a class act…beauty, elegance, grace and intelligence always. You deserve better and it’s coming. God Bless

Nella on

Wow! Some of the posters just shock me such as J. Garcelle’s situation is now different because she no longer lives with her husband so she now has to share custody of the boys and that is probably hard on her which is only natural to feel.

The part of this interview that really stuck in my head was the part where she mentions missing her mother who passed away. It’s a completely human thing to mention and something we all face someday… However,It made me sad, my mother is still alive, but the thought of her dying one day doesn’t seem possible to me, I can’t even imagine how that must feel. I recently lost my grandmother and I was a wreck! Seeing my mother go through the grief of losing my grandmother (her mother) was extremely difficult and I hope Garcelle gets through this tough time and keeps her mom always close to her heart.

Audieme on

@THF Dang, sounds like somewhere is riding high on the BITTER TRAIN. As a child of divorce parents who USED THEIR KIDS AGAINST ONE ANOTHER, it sounds like you are depriving the child visitation/relationship with their father ONLY to seek some sort of revenge from the man who left you during cancer treatment (which really sucks btw, I’m sorry for that). I agree that parents shouldn’t rely 100% on their kids for happiness, it must come from within the individual. Happy parents FIRST, then happy children.

Halley on

She doesnt mean she’s sad to share them with their dad, she means she misses them when they’re not around and is sad not to see them every day. Sheesh people.

Angela on

@Audieme, I don’t think THF is seeking any sort of revenge on her ex. He was the one who left her and didn’t make any attempt to see his son for two years. She is doing what any mother who wants to protect her child would do. Who is to say that if he is given visitation rights, he won’t get sick of playing dad and then leave again? The child would be crushed, so I would have to side with THF’s decision and I also see where you are coming from.

And I totally undertsand Garcelle Beauvais’ statement about having to share her kids with her ex. Seriously in my point of view, cheating jerks like him shouldn’t be awarded custody. I mean obviously he didn’t care enough about his family while he was busy having affairs…why should he be given custody?! I’m sorry but I just get really emotion when adults screw up and kids end up having to pay for it.

THF on

@audienne
It’s certainly not anything remotely like bitterness. It’s exactly what Angela aptly said it’s my responsibility to protect my child. I cannot allow someone else’s whim to take precedence over his welfare. Past behavior is evidence of the lack of character one has. The courts obviously agreed with me. And they must have good grounds because no court wants to deprive a child of both parents UNLESS they see it’s in the best interest.

BTW- I should clarify, its now been over a year and a half since my husband made the “demand” to see his son. not one call, not one card, nor one gift, not one visit. So my instinct was correct. He only wanted visitation out of his own BITTERNESS. My child will not be the pawn to his games. Also I too am a product of divorced parents. I did not know my mother at all because she chose not to be a part of our lives. As long as you are raised with love and decent values you can survive. It’s not ideal but what in life is.

THF on

@Audienne, you are a fool. you are the one sounding bitter. THF is doing the right thing. I am the product of divorced parents, my “father” came in and out of my life when he wanted. It would have been much better had he just stayed away. I grew up never knowing one day to the next if he would show up. when i got old enough, I cut him out.

THF does not sound bitter in the least. She sounds articulate and very well adjusted. If you read her post she said her situation was different. She is not the one who broke the family up and left her kid, her a** of a husband did that. If you ask me her son and she are better off. as for you AUDIENNE you have issues, see a therapist.

Ebi on

J, she meant now that we are not all living together anymore which for her is a dissappointment but unavoidable she is sad that the kids must now not live in a home with both of them because of his cheating but now must live in two seperate homes. I think some folks should take comprehension classes once again!!

Elayna Fernandez on

Living in the present is a fantastic way to be happy. Worry does not make problems go away. It creates fog around us and dis-empower us to make positive decision. I applaud a positive attitude and positive parenting. Instead of finding someone to blame for the past or worrying about the future, making the best of the day we have with the resources we have is the smartest decision and the one who will bring joy to the whole family. “If mama ain’t happy, there’s nobody happy” or like I say “You cannot share what you don’t have”. A strong mother raises strong kids. Fantastic role model!

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