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Matt Damon: Two Week Rule Keeps Marriage Strong

02/15/2011 at 09:00 AM ET
Axelle/Bauer-Griffin

Matt Damon is one busy guy. With two films released back-to-back and another two films in production, how does the actor stay close with his kids and keep the romance alive with his wife Luciana?

“We have a two-week rule,” Damon, 40, told PEOPLE Saturday at a press conference for his new movie The Adjustment Bureau in New York. “We don’t allow ourselves to be apart.”

“When I did True Grit, I asked Joel and Ethan [Coen] to board the movie so that I was never away from home for more than a week and they did that,” he says. “So I was working like two days a week and I would fly back.”

If works calls for uprooting the family away from home in New York City, Damon will pack his suitcases and take his entire brood of daughters — Alexia, 12, Isabella, 4½, Gia, 2½, and Stella, almost 4 months — with him. “I just took this big movie in L.A. and we’re all there together,” he says.

With a balanced work and family life, Damon says he’s lucky not to carry the burden of sucking up to Lucy for being an absent husband. “We really don’t need those big dramatic moments running home with flowers shirtless,” he jokes.

In his upcoming romantic thriller The Adjustment Bureau — in theaters March 4 — Damon stars as a politician who is forced to fight for his own fate. In reality, he believes his destiny led him to meeting Lucy in 2003.

“There was Werner Herzog film called Rescue Dawn that Christian Bale did and I was really strongly considering it. Instead I met with the Farrelly brothers. I remember talking with my mother and she said, ‘You know, you don’t always have to go into a jungle and lose a bunch of weight. You’re allowed to have a little fun.’ And I did the Farrelly brothers movie [Stuck on You] and that was where I met my wife,” he explained. “So four kids later, that was a pretty fateful decision!”

– Paul Chi

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Showing 91 comments

TM on

He is so darned sweet! Although, I have to admit that I have trouble being away from my husband for just a couple of days. I’m trying to work on that :)

Lily on

I love this family!!!

HC on

If Damon met Luciana in 2003, on the set of ‘Stuck on Me’, in which “four kids later was a fateful decision”, how do they have a daughter who is now 12?

Is it 2015 or did I miss something?

Lisa on

@HC- Lucy’s 12 yr old daugter is from a previous relationship.

Tess on

Why not work five days a week and finish twice as fast?

abbi on

@HC: Alexia, the 12-year-old, is Lucy’s daughter from a previous relationship – Matt just always counts her as his when he talks about their girls!

Alicia on

@HC: Their 12 year old daughter is Luciana’s from a previous relationship:)

Michelle on

That’s not his biological daughter, HC.

emma on

alexia is Lucy’s daughter form a pervious relationship

Lady on

Lucy really fell into a dream lifestyle….what a blessed woman. Mazel!!

Sky on

I don’t understand why sites don’t mention it’s his step-daughter. Not every person “follows” every family to know these things!

Terri on

Do they live in Miami?

Mrs.B on

HC, Alexa is his step daughter.

I love Matt. His family is beautiful.

JAE on

Luciana was married before, Alexia is her daughter by her ex-husband.

Jgirl on

I love this man. Lucy is one lucky lady!

B.R on

Happy dad of all girl and how says you need to have one of each gender to be happy. It sounds like Matt is in heaven. I like his rule of never more then two weeks apart and if that is what works for them then great. My husband and I are the opposite, we need time apart. Most of the time we spend six months out of the year apart from each other and it works great for us, and the kids think it awesome, so in the end it works for every one

Jamie on

Now this is a family to be proud of!! Matt seems like a wonderful father and husband!!

Heather on

I’m actually glad they don’t point out she’s a step-daughter. It’s obvious that Matt considers her his daughter, and that’s how we should see it, too. As the mother of adopted children, I don’t say “I’m their adoptive mother.” I’m their mother. He’s her father. Even if her biological father is still in the picture, there’s nothing wrong with having two fathers. I think, sometimes, we make too much about “blood” versus “love.”

Incidentally, I was also a “step-daughter”, but that man is my father, and I think it would hurt us both to say otherwise.

Congratulations on a beautiful family.

JD on

Matt Damon has always been my Hollywood crush, and to read what an amazing family man he is these last few years makes me like (love) him that much more!!

liu on

No, Terri, they live in New York City. Like it says in the post. Did you not read it?

Ange on

HC, it’s not quite 2015, Alexia is her daughter from a previous relationship.

” Damon became stepfather to Barroso’s young daughter, Alexia, from her previous marriage.”

showbizmom on

@ Tess he doesn’t work five days a week to finish faster because movies don’t work like that.The scheduling of films is a complicated beast, you have a cast a crew of hundreds of people and you have to account for their schedules sometimes too.

I love him on 30 Rock I hope he does some more comedies!

Sandy on

She is one lucky lady and he is one lucky man. They sure know what love is and that being apart from one another for very long absences isn’t good for a marriage. He looks like such a great family man and she knows he does have to be away from her and the girls while doing films. It’s nice to see a happy celebrity marriage as these two have as opposed to the celebrity marriages that fall apart from two people that don’t try hard enough or don’t want to try hard enough to keep their spouses happy.

Cathy on

I think it’s great that they don’t call her his step-daughter; why label when it’s not necessary? He’s been in her life for years now, and at this point, there’s no need. It’s like calling someone their adopted kid for years after the fact; you’re either their kid or you’re not,why focus on the adopted part?

KG on

Why does the older daughter have to be secluded as a “step daughter”? Who cares? He considers her his daughter and that’s that. I totally understand people being confused by the dates and her age but to the other people who don’t understand why it doesn’t verbally SAY stepdaughter. That shouldn’t even matter.

lilywood on

the oldest daughter is not his. its her’s from a previous relationship.

Me on

Yes, I am about to “judge” the life of another person who posted on here.
Six months at a time apart from each other? I do understand the need for a little personal space, even a few days at a time, but SIX MONTHS? That’s HALF the time apart. I think perhaps you two should not have gotten married.

Ella on

I love Matt Damon! He seems to be sincere, gentle, a true family man and pretty hilarious too. He & Ben Afleck in interviews are a riot together! Over the years, I have come to appreciate Damon’s solid & consistent acting ability. You just know that he’ll be acting in good movies for the rest of his life.

Lisa on

6 months out of the year isn’t a marriage…that’s a vacation home!

lori on

in response to HC, his oldest daughter was from her previous marriage/relationship and he raises her so he considers her his daughter

Melissa on

now this man knows what to do! he loves his wife and family enough to keep them within arms reach. hollywood wake up and look at your role model!

kasi on

He has been her father since she was four. That is his child. I think it is wonderful that he doesn’t include “Step”.

Cindy on

I think all movie stars should take a lesson from him. He is a good guy and good looking too.

maggie on

i don’t even like my husband’s normal 9-5 workday! he even comes home for lunch so we can have more family time with the kids

ms on

@Tess – Movies don’t run 5 days a week with weekends off. There are many considerations: locations, zoning, when you can/can’t shoot, the shooting schedule, travel for the cast & crew, and the best one…union rules. Shooting cannot start less than 12 hours from the last crew member being on set. So if they go over one day, it puts everything behind.

Tabatha on

I understand the being apart for 6 months at a time. My parents for the last 4 years have spent on average 8 months apart as to the fact that my mother works for the Department of Homeland Security and is constantly called away for disasters that happen. They have been married for 35 years and honestly the distance doesnt hurt them. They are just as much in love as they were when they got married. Yea its not an ideal situation for them but they have made it work and will continue to do so as long as my mom is doing what she does. They have given me the inspiration that with hard work any couple can make but they have to put in time and effort.

Anonymous on

I LOVE that he doesn’t use the word step for the oldest child. I have 6 children, 3 from my husband 1st marriage & 3 that we gave birth to. 31 years later & I now have 19 Grandchildren, some biological some from previous relationships but they are all mine. The words step or half weren’t & aren’t used here.

TB on

I think that it is wonderful that he treats his 12 yr. old step-daughter as a biological daughter. I agree with Heather, I’m glad to see they mention her as a daughter, not a step-daughter. What a great family this is. :)

Jillian on

I have always been a fan of Matt Damon. I love seeing him with his girls and thing it is wonderful that he treats and considers all of them equally. What a cute and adorable family.

TM, me too! I have a hard time being away from my husband for a few nights. Especially if I am the one home. I love spending time with my daughter alone, but it gets so quiet and lonley at home. I couldn’t imagaine being without him for 6 months every year.

Karen on

Once you reach his level of success, you can give directors a list of demands. When you’re starting out, you can forget it!

deborah on

She scored BIG TIME! To think she was bartender now living a dream life with nannies, house keepers,chefs,trainers,etc…wow lucky her!Oh and a great guy too boot!

B.R on

Tabatha thank you and you are right as long as you work on your marriage distance doesn’t matter, time apart doesn’t matter, cause the love you feel when you look at that other person only gets stronger and stronger as time goes by.

Lisa and Me six months in not a vacation home it’s an amazing marriage. Cause the trust, faith, and love that my husband and I feel for each other gets stronger ever day. Our children and each other is all that matters in our lives and if one of us can’t or doesn’t want to handle the distance anymore then will stop. But until then, the work we do in third world counties is needed and we plan on going for as long as we can. We are not what North America would call a normal family but we are a strong family that will always be together no matter what. Judge all you want I am a nurse, physio therapist, who has lived through a war and hell, I speak 9 languages, but most importantly I am a mother to four amazing teens, and a wife to a great man. Thanks to my husbands grandfather who left us more money that we’ll ever be able to spend in this life, my husband was able to have his dream of being a doctor who has not once charged a person for seeing them. All of our kids are adopted all out of different countries, the oldest is 16 youngest turns 15 in a few days and they are all done high school already, and plan on going to the same university together in three years. Our goal as a family is to spend the next three years traveling the world providing as much help as we can to as many people as we can. My whole family understands the importance of giving, and not just money and things, the importance of give time and yourself for the things that you believe in, and helping other in need is something we as a family believe in. Cause if it wasn’t for the kindness of strangers none of would be here today.

ctynan on

I think stars who are in the revolving door of bad relationships should marry/partner with someone who can ground them. Lucy obviously keeps Matt real. Reminds him that he is not the center of the universe. Lucky guy with a house full of ladies…no wonder he did the extra testosterone filled “Bourne” movies. xo

Tess on

To the people who answered my question – first, thanks. Second, I understand film schedules may be difficult, but it sounds like he could have told them to schedule him more than two days a week and then he could finish sooner. I haven’t seen the film, so I don’t know how much of the film he’s in though. I heard they had trouble scheduling Hailee Steinfeld b/c of child labor laws.

Julie on

I have an “adopted” daughter and two “step” daughters. I usually only refer to them as steps or adopted: when I’m explaining how it’s possible that I have a 21 year-old or why I’m a Nordic blond, while all three girls are Latinas. If it doesn’t come up, I’m not going to bring it up, because it really isn’t anyone business. I’m sure Matt feels the same way.

tessa on

frankly i find their relationship very perplexing…here was an actor who was a bit running away from marriage, even though he had a couple of long term gfs. He goes to Miami, meets her in Crowbar where she was a bartender…and boom! decides to marry after a while..either she is the luckiest woman on earth, or something else. Maybe she is great, but next to some of the other women he’s dating it leaves a lot of open questions..and they do live part of the year in Miami Beach, on an ocean front mansion..go figure..

PC on

They make a great family, and I hope that no matter what comes their way they work through it and stay together. Lucy’s got her work cut out for her. They are both lucky in love.

alice jane on

He recently did an interview with Katie Couric, in Glamour Magazine I think. She made a comment about how he has 3 daughters, and he said, “Actually I have 4 daughters.” I loved that! There’s just something about someone taking in someone else’s child and loving them like their own that just melts me.

Tessa, maybe he was just genuinely ready to settle down? It can happen pretty suddenly for a lot of people. And with the pressures of being out in the public and having 4 children (3 very close in age to each other), if they didn’t have a strong marriage I doubt they’d still be together, no matter how much money is involved.

KimmyK on

He just disgusts me…I’m sorry for those that like him but I actively boycott every single movie he’s in.

ecl on

It’s pretty unbelievable to me that everyone is saying how wonderful it is that he doesn’t refer to her as his step-daughter, but as a daughter, when so many people tear Giselle apart for the same thing. I’m sure there will be all sorts of twisted reasoning as to why the situations are different, but I say the more love the better! Kudos to Matt AND Giselle!

Meg on

PREACH IT, ecl!

momofboys on

Wish I could have that rule in my house! but being the wife of a military man, it will never happen!

liu on

ecl, I was going to say exactly the same thing. Amazing how people here are saying how wonderful it is that Matt considers her his daughter, when Gisele gets demonized for saying the same thing (never mind that English is not her first language and people never seem to account for that).

Sarah K. on

KimmyK, out of curiosity – why? Has he done something we don’t know about?

Also, I totally agree ecl!! I was thinking the same thing. Why does Gisele get bashed for saying the she loves her “step-son” as if he were he own, but Matt gets praised for calling Alexia his “daughter.” Quite frankly, I think both kids are really lucky to have so many people love them that much.

melissa on

alexia is not biological daughter its her daughter from a previos relationship

Nella on

Matt sounds like a great husband and father. I think him and Lucy have a stable marriage that works for them and that is amazing to see. I also love that he considers Alexia his daughter. As far as Giselle goes, I think people give Giselle a hard time because her step son’s mother is in the public eye as well and that obviously stirs up the drama more and the fact that Giselle sometimes comes off a bit of a snob in the media, especially when it comes to parenting. I think that bothers some people, and I am not sure if she comes off that way because English isn’t her first language and she might not express things correctly or for any other reason. English isn’t my first language either, but I try to think before I speak so i don’t say something that might offend others. While I think it’s great that Giselle acknowledges John like her own son as well instead of a step son, and I hope that they have a good relationship, but some of her interviews bother me ,maybe it’s the way she says things I am not quite sure, but that’s just my opinion on that.

Kat on

Luciana surely hit the jackpot. She used to be a bartender… there is a God!

kim on

” Second, I understand film schedules may be difficult, but it sounds like he could have told them to schedule him more than two days a week and then he could finish sooner.”

Hi Tess, I see your point but as someone who worked on small film sets myself unfortunately as someone else said there are so many factors that don’t always allow an actor to ask for the weekly schedule to be build around his/her family life, the best option is actually to ask for working 2 days straight and then get a day off or so to be with the family. Shooting a film unfortunately needs a lot of flexibility from all staff involved so Matt will most likely benefit the most to agree to 2 days work in a row than trying to work 4 to 5 days in a row if he wants to see his family as often as possible.

Anonymous on

class act!

Jan C on

In Alaska a lot of people work on the “Slope” which is the northern part of our state. They ususally work 2 weeks on and 2 weeks off. Thus they are apart half of the year. It’s not easy for families but you can make it work.

JM on

oh ecl thank you so much for pointing that out. i totally and utterly agree with you. yet more double standards. my opinion: a child being loved by one more person can never be a bad thing. i just wish there weren’t double standards – when a man does it he is wonderful and amazing, when a woman does it she is trying to steal someone else’s child. it’s not fair.

as far as being apart. my husband and i hardly ever spend nights apart. i could never manage 6 months. but every couple has to decide for themselves what works for them and i do not judge that at all. i think as long as both people are happy that’s all that matters (and that the kids are happy of course).

for me, my husband is my best friend as well as the person i want to spend the rest of my life with. we figure that life is so short anyway, why not try and spend as much of it as possible with the people you love? experiences only have real value to me if i can share them with someone i love. all i know is that any day i spend with him is better than any day i spend without him.

Anonymous on

Matt adopted Alexia when he married Lucy. Alexia legally is his daughter. Giselle did not adopt Tom Brady’s son, she is his step mother.

Sydney on

It’s nice to see a celebrity acknowledge that marriage takes work and actually prioritise their family and spouse.

It’s not nice to see B.R. talking about herself again.

B.R. – not everything is about YOU!

LauraPalmer on

Matt is his daughter’s primary care giver. Giselle is not Jack Moynahan’s primary care giver, and doesn’t even live with him. That’s the difference.

Sarah K. on

Anonymous and LauraPalmer, Matt did not adopt Alexia. Where did you read that? Her dad is still in her life. The reason why they lived in Miami for awhile is because that’s where Alexia’s dad lived. Also, exactly how much time do you need to spend with a child before you can call them your own? Apparently it’s somewhere in between Matt and Gisele’s time commitment – not that you know how much each spend with their step-kids. I love the justifications people come up with to pretend they don’t have double standards.

B.R on

Sydney I have said this before and I will say it again don’t like what I have to say don’t read it. Plus what I said was in reply to Lisa and Me, and not directed at you.

Jan C. We been to Alaska a few time and your are so right those are some of the hardest working people I have ever met. If you are not the kind of person that can be alone then that kind of life isn’t for you. But I do feel for those families in Alaska as I do for every military family our there. They have to be apart, there is no choice for most of them, for my husband and I it’s a choice, it who we are as people and as a couple, and we know that our life style wouldn’t work for most people. Thank you for reminding me about Alaska we need to go back soon and show our kids what life is like in the true North.

Melissa on

Just wanted to pipe in and say that I think it’s great that both Matt and Gisele care so much about their stepchildren. It’s wonderful.

That said, I do find Gisele’s comments to be a little tactless given what happened between Tom Brady and Bridget Moynahan. All of her comments strike me a lot as sounding like, “Oh, look at me and my perfect life and family and husband, etc. etc.” when in reality, she has all those things because her husband left another woman while she was pregnant. It’s wonderful that she has these feelings for her stepson, but it’s tactless to always be commenting on it. Just my two cents.

And also, it really does make a huge difference who the primary caregiver is. Matt is Alexia’s *parent*, biological or otherwise, but Gisele isn’t Jack’s.

sat on

Lol @ his story about Rescue Dawn vs. Stuck on You! Matt took Mom’s advice when it counted. Christian Bale was excellent in Rescue Dawn anyway. It was all meant to be ;)

Tifany on

Melissa I totally agree about Giselle! I think her comments were very tactless and seemed more than a little bit for show. She had not even been dating TB that long when he was born and she said she felt like his mother right away? Sorry, that is a slap in the face to Bridget Moynahan considering the situation imo.

LisaS on

Amen, ecl!

CelebBabyLover on

ecl- I agree!

LauraPalmer- As Jack spends time with both Bridget and Tom, Gisele DOES live with him on a part-time basis. :)

Carolyn on

Matt Damon’s acting ability in not that great. Half the time he sounds like he’s reading his lines. He’ll probably be divorced just like every one else in Hollyweird that can’t stay together more than a moment.

Sue on

KimmyK, I’m curious, too….why disgusting? He seems like a stand up guy to me.

Amy on

Why do they have to point out that she’s his step-daughter?? It’s great he sees her as his own. My daughter was 1 when I met my husband and he says, “She is my daughter.” When a man can look passed the DNA and do that, it’s great! Point is they are all a family. I never did get into his movies but he seems like a great person. Someone in Hollywood has their head on straight.

Sky on

I only suggest pointing things like that out to help people understand the family situation more. Obviously matt doesn’t stay step. But he didn’t adopt her she still sees her dad, matt told the press that.

Jillian on

Laura Palmer, I agree with you and see that as the BIG difference! Matt is the primary caregiver, where as Bridget is the primary caregiver in Jack’s life :). And Jack lives with Bridget most of the time :).

megan on

@ HC- The 12 year old was from a previous relationship of lucia’s.

Sherry Daida on

The respect he has for his wife and her feelings while making a living is awesome. So many actors/actresses put work before their wife and family and then it breaks down. Its refreshing to read a story about a family who places their family first.

Marie on

I think it’s horrible for anyone to differentiate between biological children and step/adopted children. My husband’s children are my children, and vise versa. He disciplines and so do I! If I didn’t trust him to treat my children as his own and spoil them and love them and discipline them when needed, I wouldn’t have married the man! Their father feels the same way. And to all of you who spend time apart from their spouses and children, I didn’t get married and have children to be apart. If I wanted to be apart from him, I would have kept my house and never gotten married! That’s what is wrong with the world today. Everyone lives their own life and doesn’t care enough for other people. Common courtesy and compassion are just words we “used to hear.” I love that the article shows how family is important to the couple and how they make it a priority!

curious on

The story of the couple who live apart for 6 mos sounds fishy to me. An awful lot of grammatical errors and unsophisticated language for a nurse, physiotherapist who speaks 9 languages and married to a Dr? Four kids and the oldest is 16, youngest is 15 – why not mention the others. Maybe she is just rationalizing – it’s hard to do all those things well. Stay at home and raise the kids and then focus on humanitarian work when they are gone – and they will be soon. Do you really have to be apart or do you just want to?

Denise on

I like that he considers himself her father, you really can’t have too many fathers and too many grandparents I think. The whole stepchild/biological child is so different nowadays than when I grew up. There are so many more types of families instead of the “nuclear” family of back then.

Rose on

Wow this is certainly a hypocritical group of people. Matt Damon is wonderful and amazing for treating his stepdaughter as his own, but Gisele is a she-devil for doing the same.

And to the posters who are saying “Matt is Alexia’s primary caregiver and Gisele isn’t with Jack”: You have no idea if Matt is Alexia’s primary caregiver or not. You have no idea if she spends time with her bio-Dad or not. You also have no idea how much time Gisele spends with Jack. So nice try at trying to justify your own hypocrisy, but their are holes in your justifications big enough to drive a car through.

Father on

Well (HC) Alexia has a father who loves her very much, so i hope that answer your question Matt has been a great Stepdad, an im the luckiest guy in the word because he treats her like his own daughter, so for me being her father i cant ask for more.

Jillian on

Rose, about the primary caregivers, that is true and was said in interviews by both families in previous interviews, multiple times. Matt has previously said that Alexia lives with them and visits with her father on occasion. That is called primary custody with Luciana and Matt. Bridget has said, with Tom confirming that she has primary custody. I have not read anything

Taking the celebrities out of the equation and putting average people in the situation, I know many people how have children that are step children. Some that are similar to Alexia, where they are for the most part raising them in their home as their own child. And then one where they get to see their child for visitation every other weekend. Those that get the visitation every other weekend, love the child as their own, but would never call the child their own and disrespect the childs active birth parent. Now those with the non active birth parent, doesn’t matter. Not sure if my explanation makes sense, but that is where I am coming from.

curious, thought the same thing :)

B.R on

@curious English is not my first language and most of the countries I work in use mostly French, which again isn’t my fist language either, so spelling mistakes happen in all of them. Trust me I have hard time speaking in only one language, cause in my head there is other words from different languages that would fit better into what I am trying to say. I am a mess that’s all, smart but still a mess non the less. As for my kids they are Adam 16 (Canada) Mo 15 (Ethiopia) Eric 15 (Haiti) Ava 15in one day (USA) they were all adopted after the age of 10 and all chose to change their names after they were adopted. As for the six months apart thing we like it, it works well for us as a family cause the kids travel with us. Due to deaths of loved ones and my daughters adoption we have been in Canada for a year and a half know and will probably stay for another six months or so. After that we pack up and we are gone for next three years. As for why we spend six months at the time apart it is to protect our children. I will take my kids to Ethiopia and know that they will be safe. But so much work is needed in Somalia and I am not about to take my kids into a country that has no government, no rule. So I go for six months while my husband and kids are safe, we spends six months together as a family then he goes for six months. It is the safest way we have found to do the work we believe is needed, cause if we didn’t we would only be parents of two, and it’s the best way to keep our kids safe, while teaching them the other side of life and what two of their brother have lived through. We will do this for as long as we can, as long as at the end of the day we come out stronger as people as a family we’ll keep going. The moment that changes we are back in Canada finding something else to do with our lives. Cause happiness and safety of our children is the most important thing to us, but so is their education, and we believe that you can read about it but until you been there and seen it, you haven’t truly learned about it. Two of my boys are going to North Western to become doctors like their dad. My daughter is stay in Canada to become a mechanical engineer, she believe that there have to better ways to preserve water and deliver clean drinking water where it’s needed the most. And our four is figuring things out for now. He want to learn as much about politics, religion, different languages and find the best ways to solve international conflicts. So traveling is really important to them to get to know who they are, what they can do to make the world a better place. And until the day that we are all ready to settle down in one place, world is our play ground, and we plan on exploring every inch of it.

Sydney on

And which one did you allow to get a tattoo at 12 years old?

curious on

@BR Sounds good to you I’m sure – sounds like double speak to me – your stories don’t match and while those kids are seeing the world where are their friends – which by the way are the most important people of children of that age. First you say you live apart, then travel together. First it’s 3 kids going to the same college in 3 years, now it’s 2 and one deciding. Whatever – doesn’t seem as altruistic as you seem to think it is, especially on your husbands money. And how do you have time to or why do you write in a post as stupid as this? I ask myself the same question – this is my first and last time. Thought I’d just see what it’s like. Can’t imagine ever doing it again.

B.R on

Sydney Adam has a tattoo, the rest of the family refuses to get them done cause they don’t like the way they look, but he loves his and it healed his broken soul in a way no one and nothing else could and he was 11 when he got it. It’s still the only one he ever plans on getting.

curious that is cause at that time we only had three children Eric’s paperwork to become a Canadian Citizen is finally done and he is ours for ever and ever. Most people consider their adoptions done once the child is legally given to you, or lives with you, we count them as ours the day they become Canadian Citizens cause that is the point that they are truly ours and no one can take them away if we travel. As for their education they are all very smart and done high school at first they all wanted to become doctors like their dad, but my daughter wanted more, she wanted to find a way to help even more people, as did Eric cause like his sister he feels that there has to be a better way to help save the world. Sorry for the confusion. As for our travel we travel as a family we find a safe country where we can be as a family. From there my husband and I take six months each to go into a country that is not so stable and a place where we don’t want our kids to go. So technically we are apart for a whole year, before we get back together and Canada for a year of rest, planing and family time. As for my kids having friends they do they have them build into the family all four of them and they make friends every where they go. During the holidays your kids may go see their friends, mine save their money all year long to send it to their friends this way they have food and water, or pay for their school, even if they are not together every day they are still friends. As for us using my husbands money it the only way we would be able to do this, so it’s how we are going to do it. We talked for a long time but chose to threat the money his grandfather left the both of us as ours, the money that he gets from his parents are his and his alone. See neither one of us has made a penny since we got married, it’s a decision that we both made together. We set aside enough for us, our kids and grand kids the rest is being given away to places that need it most. As for me posting on here. I am bord out of my mind and need to leave, travel, go work in a different country for a while. But we chose as a family that we’ll be in Canada for another six months, while we come up with a really good travel plan that will take up the next three years of our lives. And finding countries that are safer for the kids close enough for myself and my husband to spend some time in the scary countries where we refuse to take our kids is a bit of a problem. But the first year planing is done, now time to plan for the next two, and then we are gone. hope this helps you understand the mess that is my family and life. If there is anything else you want to know ask

JM on

i thought you said you spend sic months apart? but you just said you each take six months. so that’s a year? i couldn’t imagine being apart for year from the person i’ve chosen to spend my life with. and i certainly couldn’t imagine being away from my children for six months. how do you do it? and isn’t that a lot more upsetting for children who presumably started out their lives in very uncertain circumstances anyway. i understand you want your children to see the world. but don’t you think (particularily considering what you said your son went through) that it would do the more good to have a stable and consistent family surrounding with parents who are always there for them rather than constantly leaving them?
just curious…

B.R on

JM thank you for asking. We thought the same thing about our first son Adam. His life was hell so when his adoption was final we sat down as a family and talked, my husband and I decided on I will leave for three months deliver all the medical supplies then come back we would be together for six months and then my husband would leave for three months. When we told this to Adam he answer was no. So we started look at other who could replace us. Then he said no again, and went I am coming with you. We were shocked and taken away by him and his courage, but decided to try it after his doctors all said that it may not be the worst idea in the world. They told us to try it and watch him closely and sign of stress and we were to fly back that moment. So we chose Ethiopia, it safe for the most part, we have worked there before so it was like going home to us, and we were going to be together the whole time. Well the amazing thing happened, instead of shutting down or stressing Adam was in the streets play football (soccer) without his shirt on, since he wasn’t the only kid with a scar that started on one hip and ended on the side of his face. He felt normal there, he felt loved, accepted, and not just by his mom and dad, but by everyone around him. It was the most beautiful thing we have ever seen, our son, scar showing running around with children laughing, it was heaven. Couple of days later Adam came to us holding hands with another boy and asked if he can give half of his food and water to his brother cause he hasn’t eaten in 5 days. When we travel we only live of enough food and water to stay alive, our kids get more with out a question. But to see the boys together we knew we had found our second child. So we had Mo taken care of medical, gave him food and water, tried finding living relatives with no luck and started adopting him. Tutors travel with us as much as they can, so we hired one just for the boys and their education finally started to move forward. Adam has not been back to school since and neither have any of the kids they are home schooled and love it. As for how do my husband and I do it. Well thanks to the satellite phones we talk ever day twice a day. Once it’s only about us and what we’ll do to each other once we a showed and clean:) and second is about the kids and if we should shorten our time out and stuff like that. Physically I miss him like crazy but I know what we do is so important, in a year we as a couple have insured 302 international adoptions, we vaccinated thousands, save as another 426 women and children from death. So I deal with missing my husband for six months ( we get some time together before he takes off) and focus on my kids,and are they becoming the kind of people this world needs. Are they safe and happy, and well educated, are the mentally okay, and so far all of them have been. I truly don’t think my kids were ever meant for simple life in North America, I thinking that they belong out there in the world. But trust me the second there is even a smallest show of this harming my kids or our marriage, we stop, that very second, and then we figure out as a family what to do next. For now a year out a year in works for us. I have a great friend who is our therapist as well and she has been with Adam from the beginning, we talk to her once a week regardless of where we are, and she and her co workers all think that we are doing well as a family. Till that changes we keep going.

k on

two week rule is a joke. lucy doesnt let him out of site.she gives birth but doesnt spend much time looking after them.

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