The Princess and the Pee Shows Bedwetting Is Okay

Courtesy Blooming Tree Press/Tire Swing Books

When author Susan Meyers was considering her latest children’s book, it was the title that came to her first, The Princess and the Pee ($10).

And as the story of a bedwetting princess began to unfold in her mind, she found more and more people who’d had experiences similar to that of her main character, Princess Pia.

“As I talked to more people, I realized that everyone had someone in the family who was an older bedwetter,” she tells PEOPLE Moms & Babies.

“It’s not as uncommon of a problem as people think it is. So I thought this book could help kids who are going through that, feel better about themselves.”

The Princess and the Pee centers on Princess Pia, a pint-sized royal who shares a bunk bed with her sister, The Darling Milicent, and wants to sleep on the top bunk so she can see fireflies outside the window.

But her sister refuses to swap until Pia can stop wetting the bed. They make a bet, and if Pia can stay dry for seven nights, she’ll get her wish.

“She thinks she can do it,” Meyers says. “She tries to wake herself up at night, uses a loud alarm clock. Her mom keeps telling her that her body will grow and it’ll happen on its own. So by the end of the book, Pia teaches herself to wake up when she needs to go.”

The 64-page chapter book makes a great bedtime story for kids. And such nighttime tales are what inspired Meyers to write in the first place.

“I’ve written since I was a little kid, and once I had my son, I’d tell him stories at night,” she shares. “That’s when I decided I wanted to be a children’s writer.”

Meyers, who works in a children’s library, also gets ideas from her little patrons.

“Many of them want to read chapter books, but aren’t quite ready, so I use shorter sentences so younger kids who want to read them can,” she says. “Plus, they keep me in tune with what they’re thinking, which always helps!”

— Kate Hogan

Comments

Bed-wetting can also mean a child is stressed out for some reason. When anyone gets mad at the child for wetting the bed, the stress naturally increases {do NOT show anger, the child has no control over the bed-wetting}. If your child is wetting the bed, talk to his pediatrician about how to help the child. Make sure no one is abusing the child mentally or physically, because bed-wetting can be a sign of stress related to things like that.

- naima on February 8th, 2011

I personally prefer the book “Everybody Poops”…

- LQ on February 8th, 2011

Naima, you are totally right. Bedwetting past a certain age could mean some sort of abuse or other problem.

- Angela on February 8th, 2011

Everybody poops has nothing to do with the bed wetting issue though… I do love that book but this book is discussing an issue many children have that they cannot control. I think it is great that there is a book about it that kids can read.

- Laura on February 8th, 2011

naima- I totally agree! I have personal experience with bedwetting and it can definitely be a symptom of an underlying issue. I think that this book can hopefully help kids understand that it is okay.

I wasn’t abused as a kid, and had a wonderful childhood, however I had very severe anxiety. Looking back, I probably should have been on medication, but my parents didn’t know how bad it was, and eventually I learned to deal with the anxiety without medication. In addition to bedwetting, I also had other sleep issues, like insomnia, so my parents thought my bedwetting was just because once I fell asleep my body was too tired to get up to go to the bathroom. They never got mad at me, however, I could sense their stress with the situation. It got worse when I went away on vacations because change of environment contributed to my anxiety. When I was little, my doctors told us it was normal- I was always small for my age, and so was my bladder. It didn’t happen during sleepovers because I just wouldn’t fall asleep, but I was always so worried about it and to this day, I don’t like staying in other people’s houses. I remember once in 2nd grade, a little girl was making fun of another girl in our class and said “I bed she wets her bed”. I went home and cried myself to sleep, afraid to go to school because I thought she would figure out my secret. Once I was older, I connected it to my severe anxiety, which I have had since I can remember. I never fully stopped wetting the bed actually, I just developed a routine for getting up several times at night during my (late, late, late) teens (yes thats how long it went on for, I’m embarrassed to admit). I also learned to control my stress better, but never went on medication. Eventually I just stopped doing wetting the bed, though I am sure that even in adulthood I would still do it if I fell back into my old routine of not waking up during the night, and not balancing my stress. Sorry for the novel, and sorry if this is TMI. Anyway, if your child wets their bed, there could be an underlying issue, like there was for me.

- Erika on February 8th, 2011

Thank you for what you said. My young daughter, 8 years old, is going through the same thing even though she’d never hardly wet the bed in her first years after being potty trained. I’m currently deployed and both my husband and I are in the military and have had tons of transition in the last couple of years. She has developed a huge amount of anxiety and has started wetting the bed every night since I’ve left. I feel just horrible about it but we don’t get down on her because we know she is stressed and reasonably so. I’m glad to hear you were able to manage your stress without medications; we’ve had to put her on meds to help her in school. I hope some day she can learn to cope through her own means as well as us having her in counseling for her anxiety. Again I appreciate knowing it isn’t just us going through it.

- freedomgrl77 on February 8th, 2011

I was an older bedwetter. Although I did have a little anxiety and was worrisome, there was no abuse or anything of the sort. The problem was that I slept so soundly and deeply that my body did not wake itself up. As I got older, I became a lighter sleeper….and I also try to follow the standards which are also good for all young children. Not a lot to drink right before bedtime, going to the bathroom right before tucking in at night.

- J on February 8th, 2011

i don’t know how it is in other countries but in the Netherlands you can get a special alarm on loan. It goes on your child’s underpants when they go to bed and the alarm will sound just before they have to go (or randomly, I’m not sure). The results are very fast. The child only needs to use it for a couple of nights.

- Anna on February 9th, 2011

I had (well still have) dyspraxia but wasn’t diagnosed until i was about 9. it is common for children with dyspraxia to be late bedwetters due to poor muscle control. i only wish that i had been diagnosed earlier so that my parents needn’t have worried. needless to say i grew out of it, just a little later than most of my peers.

- JM on February 9th, 2011

both of my kids were older bed wetters and we went to a uroligest and he gave us an alarm that attached to there underware at night it would go off if it senced any wetness at first i had to wake the kids when it went off(they were such sound sleepers) but within a week they lurned to get up themselves, by 2 weeks there was no more bed wetting.

- momof 2 on February 9th, 2011

freedomgrl77- First off, thanks to you and your husband for the sacrifices you make to serve our country! I am very thankful for your service.

Your daughter sounds similar to me! Although I didn’t even know that I had anxiety until I was older, and neither did my parents, so we didn’t connect anything to the bedwetting. We just thought I had a wandering mind. I did’t tell my parents all of it and when I was older wondered why I had constant moments of severe stress along with these obsessions that something would happen to me, or a close family member (that was one of my main fears, though I’m not sure if your daughter has specific fears, not everyone with anxiety does). That’s when I looked it up and learned about anxiety, and found out I had it. I think that it is good that you and your husband know about your daughter’s anxiety so you can address it. I think I would have benefitted from having that kind of support during my childhood and maybe it would have helped me more. I would come home from school and didn’t even tell my parents about the anxiety I suffered because I didn’t want all the attention on me. As for medication- I don’t think it is terrible to be on medication. I probably would have done better with medication because I feel like I was robbed of a carefree childhood and maybe medication could have helped. I learned self soothing techniques that I still use instead of medication, but struggled a lot during childhood, especially because I had specific fears that I was constantly obsessing over. I really wish that more people recognized anxiety disorders as much as they recognize autism and ADHD, because it can be just as hard for young kids to deal with. I like hearing about others that struggle with this as well, although I do feel bad for younger kids with it, because it shows me that I am not alone. I don’t know many others who have struggled with this, though I am lucky to be able to control it enough to keep it from majorly interfering with life!

- Erika on February 9th, 2011

uh that’s weird…why are they telling kids that bedwetting is ok? it’s not…just put it in a nice way that if they dream of a river..they need to wakeup and haul ass to the bathroom. stop sugar coating everything.

- me on February 10th, 2011

@me, many children are physically incapable of waking up in time to prevent it, it has to do with maturity of brain and nerves and of sleep patterns, and that is nothing that can be forced. Some can be helped by these bedwetting alarms that have been mentioned, in order to teach the brain to read the cues even while sleeping, some just need to grow out of it, and some need medication. The thing that doesn’t help is to be told to “get a grip”. Bedwetting is not about laziness!

- MiB on February 10th, 2011

“me” – you’re right it’s always best to make children feel like there is something wrong with them and they should be ashamed of themselves.

as i pointed out above having dyspraxia was what most likely made me a late bedwetter. i grew out of it, it just took a little longer. can you imagine how i would have felt if my parents had made me feel that what i was doing was not ok and it was as simple as “just wake up and run to the bathroom”?

- JM on February 10th, 2011

Both my sons were bedwetters, as they were very sound sleepers.
My doctor gave me information on a buzzer that hooked to their underwear.
It cured each of them in a matter of weeks, tho we kept it on longer for those
‘just in case’ nights. Worked like a charm and eliminated the shame and embarrassment. I think the buzzer was made by a place called “Star lab” -
highly recommend it!

- Beverly Patt on February 10th, 2011

me- bedwetting is NOT intentional. It is obvious that you didn’t struggle with this problem, because if you knew what it felt like then you would not be saying to simply tell them to wake up. It can often be because of physical and emotional reasons beyond control. I tried to wake up, so I wouldn’t wet my bed when I was younger. I tried really really hard, but you know what, I couldn’t stop. As I said before, I suffered from extremely severe anxiety.

There are many kids that make fun of other kids who wet the bed, and I sure hope you aren’t raising children like that. Because let me tell you something, having other kids make fun of those who wet the bed was extremely detrimental to me and made my anxiety 10 times worse. It actually made me afraid of going to school. Their behavior likely stemmed from parents who didn’t have a child that wet the bed, and passed on the ridiculous enlightening viewpoint that bedwetting is a choice. Any parent who raises a child that makes fun of others for something they can’t control needs to learn some serious parenting 101. I sure hope if you have kids, you don’t teach them that it is something that can be controlled in all cases, whether they wet the bed or not.

- Erika on February 10th, 2011

My 5 year old son wets the bed on occasion. I just have him wear a pull up at night, he will grow out of it. We dont make a big deal at all about it either, in fact we dont even talk about it because he is still a little kid and in time he will stop. Not a big issue for us.

- Holiday on February 12th, 2011