Sofia Coppola Can’t Relate to Bonds Between Sisters

01/02/2011 at 05:00 PM ET
Alexandra Wyman/WireImage

After welcoming her second daughter Cosima last May, Sofia Coppola was thrilled Romy finally had a sister — despite her inability to relate.

Having been raised in a household with two older brothers — and countless male cousins including Nicolas Cage and Jason Schwartzman — Coppola feels most comfortable amongst a brood of boys.

“They would all come and stay with us and it was fun being the only girl,” the director, 39, tells The Telegraph. “That’s why I like being on the film sets with all the camera guys: it’s familiar!”

But when it comes to her 7-month-old and 4-year-old, Coppola is hopeful they will share a special bond.

“The idea of sisters is mysterious to me, some kind of complicated relationship that I don’t know about. I hope they’re close,” she admits. “At first Romy was annoyed [about Cosima’s arrival], but now she’s really into being a big sister.”

And her firstborn wasn’t the only one to adjust to life with a baby. With the addition of her second child, Coppola’s days of tranquility quickly vanished and the Oscar winner suddenly found herself tackling her workload in a whole new environment.

“I can’t stay up all night writing anymore. I have to be more organized and it takes longer to write in all the chaos,” she says. “I once had this idea that I needed to be in a quiet room to write, but I’ve learned to do it with kids running around.”

— Anya Leon

FILED UNDER: News , Parenting

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Nella on

Love Sofia and her movies! I hope her daughters grow up being close. I loved having sisters growing up and now that we’re adults they’re one of my best friends. It’s great to have a good relationship with your sibling(s).

Amy on

Oh great…so i guess for people who don’t have siblings, they can’t relate to anyone at all? Only children may as well not have children

Julie on

I think the idea that sisters are close is a myth as it is not like that in all cases. If you have absolutely nothing in common, there is nothing to talk about regardless of the fact you are sisters or not! My sister and I have completely different personalities and interests. She is into computers,hated dolls,loved stuffed toys as a kid and regards makeup and clothes as frivolous. I on the other hand was a really girly girl and so we didnt end up playing together much and I had to rely on my friends for closeness and still do.

Electra on

I usually don’t care for Sofia Coppola but, I agree with her sentiment about sisterhood. I’m an only child and grew up with only male-cousins. Even till this day I look upon my female friends with sisters curiously. They have a bond that I’ll never understand!

soph on

Love the comments she made about sisters. She sounds like a great mom.

Lori on

I have a sister and I can’t relate the “bond” either.

Jenn on

I can definitely relate. I have a brother, no sisters, and don’t really understand the complicated relationships sisters seem to have. Most of the time, I’m just glad I don’t have sisters!

Hea on

I can relate! I don’t have siblings but I do have my very best friend in this world who I’ve been close to since we were almost 2 years old. 23 years of friendship and we’re like sisters. She’s an only child as well and her parents and mine are friends since we are friends. She’s my soulmate sister.

jen on

I don’t think the sisterly bond is necessarily a great thing all the time, and maybe that’s what Sophia means. That it can be complicated, but that it may be good, bad, both.

Alexia on

I completely agree, Julie.

My sister and I have never been close. We have completely different personalities and, growing up, always clashed. My brother and I, however, have always gotten along well with one another. We’ve always shared similar interests so the relationship was always pretty effortless.

Melanie on

Amy, you sound ridiculous. Totally missed the point.

Sam & Freya's mum on

Agree with Julie also.

My sis and I completely chalk and cheese – it really depends on individual personalities! – and in fact my son and daughter get on better than my sis and I did at same age they are now, according to my mum. Gender’s no guarantee of a close sibling relationship – mind you, we get on better now we’re both mums, improved as we’ve gotten older as it sometimes does, have motherhood in common. A bonus, ironically, is that our kids as cousins are also great little mates with one another which we find amusing and sweet! Makes up for our childhood squabbles!

Am hoping my two are still close when older. I actually wished I had an older brother growing up because my sister and I lacked a real bond, sadly – and so glad my daughter has that with her big brother…so far!

Anna on

My sister and I are only 18 months apart but I can’t relate to that special sister bond either. We are ok with each other but not especially close or anything. I think in many cases the sisterly bond is a myth.

Jessie on

I grew up with older brothers so i can definitely relate but i have close girl friends that are like sisters to me, but if i have a kids i would love for my daughter to have a sister, although it’s no guarantee that they will be close

B.R on

@ Amy where out of that sweet interview do you get that only children should not have kids of their own? All she said is that the bond between two sister is a mystery to her.

Bond between all siblings happens regardless of gender, but sometimes you will see sisters that have a bond that is so beyond just being siblings or friends it’s like they are two halves of a same soul. I thinking it happens more often then not, but you are right it doesn’t happen to every set of sisters or siblings out there. I hope her wish for her daughters comes true. Life is easier if you have someone to walk beside you through heaven and hell, someone that will always have your back no matter what, and to have them since birth now that is a gift.

From someone that once had 4 sister and 5 brothers, me big the oldest, I could always relate to my brothers better then my sister. I may have only had them for 12 years and my sister were 2 and 4, two sets of twins, I can tell you that the 4 of them had a bond unlike anything I have ever seen. Some times we used to sit there and wonder if they could talk to each other with out saying a word and it was like that since birth for them. My brother 5&9 also two sets of twins hate each other, all four of them, and it was like that from the beginning, they even didn’t like their own twin, which to me was just odd. Now my first younger brother 11 and myself at 12 the last time I saw my family, we are also the only singles in the family, extended family as well had the greatest bond. Our parents use to tell us that we were closer then any twins they have ever seen, maybe it was cause it was just the two of us in the beginning, or the fact that he was the kindest soul I have ever met, but from the day he came into this world and into my arms (he came early and my mom was alone when she gave birth at home, so I was the first person to touch him as he was coming out, not that I had any idea what was going on at one years old) but he was always mine, from the first day to the last day of his life we slept in the same bed, we could never sleep any other way, we tried but found it was impossible. I love all of my brothers and sisters I truly do and I miss them all. But my first brother, now him I miss in a way word can’t explain.

So at the end of the day I hope that her daughters have the same bond that me and my brother did, cause to me next to becoming a mom, there is no greater feeling than the bond between siblings.

Terri on

I have two sisters and we’re not close, but there’s still a bond there that I treasure. I understand what she’s saying.

Priscila on

I have a sister who’s 6 years older than me, we were not close growing up because of the age gap, we were just in different stages of our lives. But now, as both adults, I absolutely cannot imagine not having her close to me. She’s definitely one of my best friends, someone i can always count on for anything, and I love her to death…and we’re completely opposites in every sense of the word! Of course our relationship is not perfect, there’s the drama and driving each other nuts, but we know that we can never be apart for a long time, or not speak anymore. I feel bad for people who don’t have that, and I hope Sofia’s daughters end up being the best of friends too 🙂

Rina on

My half sister and I are 13 years apart (I’m 32 she’s 19) Like Priscilla and her sister, my sister and I weren’t really close growing up but now that she’s becoming more of an adult we’re a lot closer.

@ Amy: one of my best friends (who’s also coincidentally named Amy) is an only child and she just had twin boys who will no doubt bond throughout their lives together. Sure she may not know what its like to personally bond with a sibling but she’ll be able to witness her sons bonding as they get older. She will now be able to give her children what she didn’t have which I think is beautiful.