Neil Patrick Harris Bringing in Breastmilk for Daughter

Barry Talesnick/Globe

It seems Neil Patrick Harris and partner David Burtka have finally found a solution to 9-week-old daughter Harper Grace‘s intestinal issues. However, their remedy comes with a hefty price tag.

“Harper was very fussy … she was always in a state of angst,” the new dad, 37, shares during a recent visit to the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. “So we switched formulas a couple of times and now we’re having to have breastmilk brought in.”

Joking that he “tried for like two months” to produce the milk himself and “nothing happened,” Harris and Burtka — also dads to Harper’s fraternal twin brother Gideon Scott — turned to a milk bank.

“You have to have breastmilk shipped in. I think it’s a racket,” he explains. “Seriously, if someone is in Santa Monica — down the street and wants to provide milk — it has to go on a plane to San Jose and get fertilized and pasteurized and boiled and whatever happens in little bottles.”

As a result of the exhaustive process, Harris couldn’t help but ask, “If anyone is bustin’ in the audience, my daughter could use some suckling!” to which Ferguson quipped, “I’ll be quality control!”

Despite the positive outcome, the How I Met Your Mother actor admits he is having a hard time swallowing the cost. “They charge a fortune! It cost more for breastmilk than sushi!” he muses.

“I like sushi and it’s not inexpensive, but you at least figure, alright, they have to go that morning and get the fish and there’s a lot of labor involved … you know, you stick a thing on her hee-haw and it just sucks out some milk and they’re charging a fortune!”

– Anya Leon

Comments

HeeHaw?! Bwah!!!

- Meghan on December 19th, 2010

Wow, he really underestimates the amount of work for everyone involved – from donor milk mom (who feeds her own child as well much of the time) to all the staff at the milk bank. It really isn’t just so easy as putting a thing on your breast and sucking out some milk. I hope that his breezy attitude is really underscored by an appreciation for the moms who are producing the milk. As a milk donor, his attitude offends me.

- Corey on December 19th, 2010

Corey, I agree entirely. I investigated the milk donor process and it was exhausting. Complete kudos to anyone who donates milk – and NPH, not funny.

- Susannah on December 19th, 2010

Oh, please–offended? It’s called humor!

- Lisa on December 19th, 2010

Like he cannot afford it? Would he rather have it cheaper and unsanitary/

- Dawn on December 19th, 2010

LOL, it’s classic NPH!

- klutzy_girl on December 19th, 2010

He’s JOKING people, settle down!!!

- Mama on December 19th, 2010

@Dawn-Just because he can afford it doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a right to comment on the expense. He uses donor milk because he can’t produce milk and because it’s best for his daughter but it’s expensive and he has a right to speak about the price. I applaud him and David for doing whatever is best for their daughter no matter what the cost. Even though it is pricey you do what you have to do for your child. PERIOD!

- Crystal on December 19th, 2010

What’s with him lately?

- Shannon on December 19th, 2010

He is completely JOKING!!!! He does this all the time! I am sure he appreciates being able to provide breastmilk to her!

- tink1217 on December 19th, 2010

Man people need to lighten up! He is obviously grateful that the option is there- what parent wouldn’t be?! He was on the set of a comedian’s talk show so how teary eyed was he supposed to get?

And for the “he can afford it” comment- how does that affect the family who cannot afford it? Why is it so expensive? I doubt that the women generous enough to donate are where the bulk of the money goes.

It would be great though if more women were willing to donate and maybe the cost would come down or could be offered to more families who don’t happen to have an income like his.

And I applaud him for mentioning what finally worked for his daughter. Many doctors would have prescribed yet another formula or some sort of medicine when all she needed was breast milk- which for many babies…is completely free.

- Kristen on December 19th, 2010

Hey NPH – I’ll donate my milk – for free!

- Tracy on December 19th, 2010

It’s so easy to say you’re offended by this. Some people don’t get the hang of this milk bank or don’t even know it exists. Making a joke about it can also mean that people know it DOES exist and people who DO like NPH will know it’s all for a good purpose.

Go ahead, be offended. I think it’ll rain compliments to the mothers who are actually giving the milk because of his remarks. It’s actually free advertising, so stop feeling bad!

I think it’s great he shares this.

- M on December 19th, 2010

hmm Milk donors are way cheaper… Banks really rake in serious profit for milk they get for free.
Still awesome he’s doing the best by his little one

- Lou on December 19th, 2010

On all the late night talk shows, the guests always tell their stories in the most comedic way possible. You’ll notice, he also joked about attempting to produce the milk himself, which I think we can all agree was indeed a joke. I don’t think anyone should take offense. I’m sure he is aware the effort put forth, as much as a man can understand milk pumping. (Not to sound sexist, but this IS a strange new world for him). And I’m sure the end result (a happy Harper) is priceless to he and David.

- Meghan on December 19th, 2010

He’s on a late night show and making a joke. Lighten the hell up. Some people are absolutely ridiculous.

- Taylor on December 19th, 2010

Hahaha he is funny!

In the old days poor mothers that nursed were brought in to nurse rich peoples kids so they could make money and a lot of times that resulted in their own kids not getting enough so woo hoo to milk banks its great that they exist bc there is nothing better than breast milk!!!!

- Simone on December 19th, 2010

I think it’s cool that he is even talking about this issue.

If I were him, I might be looking into hiring a full time wet nurse instead of paying for the boiled milk bank shipments.

- fuzibuni on December 19th, 2010

People take things so literally. It’s okay to joke about things. This interview was classic NPH, he doesn’t sugarcoat what he says and he likes to joke.

- alice jane on December 19th, 2010

Just come to Chicago, NPH! I have enough breast milk for your daughter and my four-month-old girl. Free of charge. No drugs or diseases here.

- Angela on December 19th, 2010

his is why infants need mothers.

- nosoupforyou on December 19th, 2010

Yet again, people busting on a parent for something taken out of context. He was on a talk show. He was being funny. Anyone that’s adopted a child (or two at once) knows how to do their research.

- Erin on December 19th, 2010

Humor, people. Humor. It was a hysterical bit. He gets it.

http://www.cbs.com/late_night/late_late_show/video/index.php?pid=JSFztJ646RSBaofuEdzptXssikiKH5WD

- Jodi on December 19th, 2010

LOL good to know the LaLecheLeague Police are on diligent patrol! I think he is too funny and truly applaud him for going so far to help his little baby feel better. It’s a late night comedy show, he made a joke. Best of luck to the whole family!

- Kylie on December 19th, 2010

@nosoupforyou – you took the words out of my mouth. This is one of the many reasons babies and children need a MOTHER.

- Maya on December 19th, 2010

Really? The “need a mother” camp is here?

These twins are being raised by two fathers that love them and will do anything for them, as evidenced by them flying in breast milk! That’s all that matters.

- klutzy_girl on December 19th, 2010

@ Maya and @nosoupfor you

Even if the babies had a mother that doesn’t mean the mother would choose to breastfeed or that she’d be able to breastfeed. At least these babies have parents that are willing to pay for and provide breastmilk for their babies. Some mothers wouldn’t provide the breastmilk even if they could… Gay parents who love their children and are willing to do whatever they need to keep them healthy and happy are much better parents then some heterosexual parents.

I think it’s great that Neil and David are providing the best milk for their baby! They seem like great fathers.

- Laura on December 19th, 2010

@nosoupforyou and @maya–not all mothers are able to breastfeed, so your comments are irrelevant. they found a way for their baby to feel better. yes, it’s expensive, but clearly they love their children as they’re doing everything they can to make sure they’re comfortable and happy, isn’t that what matters?

- Melissa on December 19th, 2010

I did a quick estimate online and we’re talking somewhere in the $100 a day neighborhood depending on how many ounces she’s drinking. WOW. Kudos to he and his partner for doing the absolute best for their kids. That is a lot more than some “traditional” parents do for their little ones.

Oh, yeah, and lighten up! He’s a comedian. It’s what he does.

- Mother of 2 on December 19th, 2010

All you mommies who are cooing over him for talking up breast milk, he’s NOT buying it for his son so he clearly doesn’t think breast milk is necessary for the average kid, just one with digestive issues.

I don’t support homosexuality but I support homosexuals because they’re humans beings. I think he and his partner will do their best just as most parents do. I also think he’s hella funny and is one of the few openly gay actors who can play straight.

- Cici on December 19th, 2010

Well, I am the biggest, loudest lactivist I know and his comments didn’t offend me one bit! I think it’s hysterical and wonderful PR for the importance of mother’s milk.

- blessedwithboys on December 19th, 2010

Funny, funny, funny man. I looked into donating to a milk bank too because I was able to produce a ton, but it is a somewhat of a hassle, unfortunately. ANyway, I still think it’s funny and I am not offended at all.

- Marla on December 19th, 2010

The moms donating to the milk banks don’t make ANY money, all that they charge is for-profit for the milk bank. Sure they spend some on pretty much just boiling the milk and paying staff but that’s it. They do their best to scare people from sharing milk without them for a reason, because that’s their salaries. There are safe ways to get milk from other mothers.

And I wouldn’t count on him trying to produce milk being completely untrue…many people are not aware of it but men can induce lactation many times. Not that I’ve ever known a man to do it, or even one who would remotely consider the idea but I guess it has happened.

- Amanda on December 19th, 2010

He is J-O-K-I-N-G people, take a chill pill much!!!!

- Dee on December 19th, 2010

oh my goodness, I’ve never heard of donor breastmilk. I could have made a racket! dang!

- momof boys on December 19th, 2010

There may be some great humor here, but my fear is that because most people know very little or nothing about donor milk banking, they will learn the wrong things from this “humor”.

I am a physician and the medical director of a donor milk bank here in the US. Donor human milk is donated by the mothers who express it, store it and ship it to the closest milk bank (of which there are 10 up and running in the US and Canada right now; 6 more in process of getting up and running). The mothers are screened, first on the phone, then by a very in depth questionnaire, that is sent to the milk bank and evaluated. They must have a form filled out by their own doctor attesting to their health, and their baby’s doctor, attesting to the health of the baby and that donating milk will not harm their own baby in any way. Then they have a very complete blood test panel done, looking for evidence of any of the viruses, like HIV and hepatitis, that could infect a baby through the donated milk.

The cost of ALL OF THIS is paid for by the NON-PROFIT milk bank. The milk is then stored at the milk bank, pasteurized to kill any and all bacteria and viruses in it, and stored until it is shipped to hospitals or families who need it. All that costs money. That is where the cost of the milk comes from–not the milk itself; certainly not the greediness as some imply of the milk banks. The per ounce cost of the milk in fact often does NOT cover the cost of the testing, storing and processing, so we milk banks are always applying for grants and hoping to get donations so we can stay in business, supplying this life-saving liquid to premature babies and food for all babies.

It bothers me so much when people who do not know what they are talking about accuse us of “making lots of money” off the poor babies who need our milk, because nothing could be further from the truth! We are making human milk available for babies who need it, for families who want it, that is as safe as we can make it. In 40 years of human milk banking, from milk that comes from our milk banks under the auspices of the Human Milk Banking Association of North America (www.HMBANA.org) a baby has never been harmed, never been infected. The milk is safe, and it is because of all we do to make sure it is safe. So when you talk about the cost of the milk, make sure people understand why, even though it is donated milk, there is a cost involved.

There is a lot of what we call casual sharing that occurs with friends, neighbors, relatives and especially across the internet and social net-working. I caution that because of the lack of these measures of testing and pasteurizing, you will be able to get the milk for fee or for much less money, but you have to weigh the potential consequences of not knowing about the safety of the milk you are getting. Are you getting milk? Is it diluted? Ate their drugs, alcohol, nicotine and byproducts in it? Are their infectious disease agents in it? Things to think about. Just be fair and give all the information when you speak out.

Neal Patrick Harris–congratulations on your baby to you and your partner. I am not surprised to heat the baby is doing well on human milk–it is what we were meant to eat. You are an actor–think of all the families with lower incomes who use donor milk. Help us speak out for the need for non-profit donor milk banks, and about need for donors and donations. Become a positive spokesman and fundraiser for us because of your positive experience with the milk and your baby!! Feel free to contact me about this!! Best, Kathie Marinelli

- Kathleen Marinelli MD, IBCLC, FABM on December 19th, 2010

Maya and nosoupforyou- Children need mothers. So what about children who are victims of divorce and live with their fathers? What about kids whose mothers die during childbirth and in car accidents? What about a child who was abused and lives with foster parents because his mother was deemed unfit? We can’t control any of these situations and none of them are ideal. However, the situation NPH is providing for his kids IS ideal. They have 2 loving parents. So what if one of them can’t produce breastmilk? I would rather have two parents who love me and have formula/breastmilk from the milk bank than a mother who is abusive. Maybe that’s just me. While I think a mother is an important figure in a child’s life, these kids have two loving parents who will do just fine. I am sure that when the kids get older, they will have plenty of female role models. Not having a parent who produces breastmilk is a pretty small price to pay to be able to live a financially secure life with supportive, loving parents.

- Erika on December 19th, 2010

Kathleen Marinelli, thank you from the bottom of my heart for your profound and professional answer.

I have been able to breastfeed all 3 of my children and I have also donated milk to other babies in my home country (which is not USA). Every drop can mean so much for a premature or sick baby!

I hope all the best for the milk banks in the USA, I hope the publicity through NPH:s interview and e.g. this blog would increase the amount of donations of breast milk in the USA.

- Laura on December 20th, 2010

Well, funny is, both my kids have a MOTHER and still I wasn’t able to produce enough BM to keep them alive, – and you can bet I tried everything! The midwife was puzzled, everyone was at a loss and I felt like a total failure.

So, hooray for the possibility to use formula if needed and thank YOU for understanding it’s not the BM that makes a good mother or father, it’s the love we have for our children, – because THAT is what you cannot substitute.

- KiKi on December 20th, 2010

Thank you, Dr Marinelli, for taking the time to educate us.

- etsy on December 20th, 2010

I do understand why people passionate about this issue are worried about how these comments will play. But I think he’s just introduced a whole lot of people to milk banks.

It’s free press. It’s a good thing.

- B on December 20th, 2010

Geez, people,the guy is joking, as he has done since he was a teen in his first interviews. And, for those of you so offended by his comments about breast milk, I am equally offended when you bash gay parents. They are parents who take alot of time, thought, and yes, expense, just to have a family, unlike all the “superior” straight people who take for granted, and often abuse, their ability to become parents. He and his partner are obviously very caring and will do anything for their children. I also am was bashed no end by you loving, nursing types, because I didn’t. Well, I didn’t, because I couldn’t! And I’m tired of apologizing for things that I couldn’t help. My babies were happy, healthy, well cared for in every way, yet I still get this feeling I’m supposed to apologize to some of you, 14, 25, and 29 years later. It would be nice if everyone could lighten up a little, especially in the holiday season.

- Patti on December 20th, 2010

nosoupforyou needs to revise their comment to say “This is why infants need *breastfeeding* mothers”. Even if they had a mum (which clearly they don’t need – they already have two awesome dads who are supplying breastmilk), not all mothers breastfeed. Are you saying all infants need breastfeeding mothers? No, you’re not. You have no point.

- Elise on December 20th, 2010

Those of you who are offended by his comments have no sense of humor!

- Jen on December 20th, 2010

Yes, unfortunately because of life’s circumstances some children do not have mothers. ‎That is completely different from knowingly and intentionally denying a child its mother ‎as was the case here. Children need mothers – and not just for breast milk. A mother is ‎closest to the baby and vice versa; it’s just simple nature. And while I understand gay ‎men’s need to be parents, I think raising a child without any contact to his or her ‎birthmother (or any mother) is unnatural. ‎

- Maya on December 20th, 2010

I have a gay parent and because of it I am a more open-minded adult. I was raised to be more accepting of all different types of people and I am offended that you think that these kids need a mother. A loving parent is a loving parent is a loving parent. Why being gay such an issue, I will never understand.

It is great that they go out of their way to get breast milk and it seemed like a funny joke to me. It also brings attention to milk banks which is a positive.

- Meg on December 20th, 2010

Joking. Funny … and plenty of mothers who can’t breastfeed either so relax. Nice to see parents doing what they need to do.

- brannon on December 20th, 2010

Maya, quick question:

What if two gay women were raising a child? Would you think they needed a father? Is that “simple nature”?

Just curious.

- klutzy_girl on December 20th, 2010

He seems to be making quite a few comments that he shouldn’t lately! Foot in mouth disease!
He shouldn’t have children when he minimizes the process involved with providing them with breast milk etc.

- Cyndi on December 20th, 2010

If only donor milk was promoted by the health community the way formula is. Maybe then it would be more available and the cost would come down.

I’m happy they have found a natural solution to help their daughter receive the nutrients she needs.

- Olivia on December 20th, 2010

“this is why infants need mothers.”

And this attitude is why we still battle with inequality in today’s society.

I have come to realize with reading posts on other stories, you are always in a catch 22 with people on here. You are either crappy for not BFing and apparently now you are crappy for making a joke about supplying BM for your baby.

And just for a side note: I tried BFing my daughter and she wouldn’t latch at all. And I didn’t make enough milk. She is still a healthy,well rounded little girl at almost 2 years old. Would I have liked to have BF? Of course but it just wasn’t in the cards for us. SO I wish some of the people on here would stop being close minded and thinking that just because not every single baby isn’t BF it is an awful thing and the kid is going to grow up with issues or whatever it is you think.

- KG on December 20th, 2010

did I really need to know this ??!!

- Anonymous on December 20th, 2010

Consider who you are talking about, and the money obviously paid to have these wonderful children and I have no doubt he is just making light of it all in good jest. No question he can afford it, no question he is doing it! Give him a break, the fact he even knows about it is more than I can say for most men with no women to be the Mothers! I congratulate him

- Donna on December 20th, 2010

@Maya & @nosoupforyou: Actually, this is exactly why babies need hilarious gay men in their lives.

- Anonymous on December 20th, 2010

Kathleen, thank you for your comments. I saw this interview with NPH, and while YES, he was joking (and breastfeeding can be a really hilarious topic), it sends an image of some mom getting a pile of cash for simply pumping milk. Not the case at all!

Most milk banks are used to help tiny, sick infants, many of whom have been abandoned.

A friend of mine lost her infant daughter and she continued to pump for a year after her daughter passed away. She donated all the milk and I promise you, she didn’t get any money. She did it to help a baby in need and to help her cope with her loss.

- Emily on December 20th, 2010

I hope no one is mis-construing my long post. I congratulated these two men on their children and I do so again. And I applaud their efforts to find out about alternatives to formula for a child who was not tolerating it. I wonder if brother Gideon gets any banked milk too? Would be great for his immunity and all the medical, neurodevelopmental, and long-term benefits that accrue from receiving any human milk. We call it a “dose-response”–some is good, more is better, but any amount at all helps.

I know not all moms can breastfeed. And more times than not, it is the fault of society and medical culture who are not there to do what these moms need to make it work for them. Many of us are out there trying to change that, but it is such a slow processes. My heart goes out to moms who want to breastfeed, and can’t. If they could have gotten some good professional help early on, they just might have been able to do what they wanted to. That is a fault in society. Never a mother and should never be portrayed or thought of as such.

My point was purely to educate. So many people know nothing of human milk banking, and have what I call “the ick factor” when they hear about it. And the fallacy that we who are involved in milk banking “for the money” just needs to stop. No one in non-profit milk banking is making money on this. For example, I am a volunteer medical director. It is not a paid position. I do it for the babies and their families. So I love humor just as much as the next person. I just know from experience in this field, that the humor is often taken as fact by those, who through no fault of their own, just don’t know anything about the topic. And that just makes it harder for those of us trying to educate, and increase the use of this milk for babies who need it and families who want to use it.

I would love to see NPH and his partner do some positive marketing for donor milk banks–they know how important we can be–and that would just be so awesome!!

Thanks, Kathie Marinelli MD

- Kathleen Marinelli MD, IBCLC, FABM on December 20th, 2010

@ nosoupforyou and maya: What children need is nurturing, loving care, no more, no less. It doesn’t matter if it comes from two men, two women, a man and a woman, a grandparent, an older sibling or an adoptive situation. Not only that, but do you really think that NPH and his partner don’t have awesome women – sisters, mothers, cousins, friends – in their lives that will provide “feminine” nurturing to these kids? REALLY? When and if I see a study proclaiming that children are irreparably damaged by the lack of a mother in the household, I’ll join your team. Until then, I’m on the team of unconditional love from whatever parent a kid’s been blessed with.

- Jen DC on December 20th, 2010

@Jen DC – sign me up for the “team of unconditional love from whatever parent a kid’s been blessed with” as well, I volounteer to organize the “the more people who love a child unconditionally the better” section of the team!

- MiB on December 20th, 2010

Oh goodness gracious. I read these comments and cannot believe the audacity of some people. You have the “La Leche League Police” the “babies need mothers” and all sorts of other judgmental no sense of humor groups weighing in. Really? To the breastmilk patrol, he was kidding on a late night COMEDY show…imagine that. And to the mothers group saying “this is why infants need mothers” get a clue there are mothers out there who kill thier babies, beat them, neglect them and otherwise damage them completely. “Mother” is not a universal term for “Caring. love and knowledge.”

I think what NPH is doing is amazing and knowing the benefits of breast-mil which he clearly does and appreciates he plugged it’s use on a nationally televised show. He knows he cannot provide it, because he is male, so he did what is best and gets it anyway. Why do people have to be so rude and judgmental all the time. Way to go NPH keep taking care of those babies the best you can.

- Lori on December 20th, 2010

Hmm, I wonder if there’s a need for a breast milk bank in my area. I’ve always wanted to be an entrepeneur!

- Terri on December 20th, 2010

Team Victor Newman!

Okay I joke, congratulations again on the recent birth of your baby! I hope you enjoy this wonderful time.

- Feminist mom on December 20th, 2010

nosoupforyou & maya – First off I wanted to breast feed my daughter and yet couldn’t produce enough milk ….. JUST FOR THE RECORD ….. so No not all Mom’s can breast feed …..

I love Neil’s since of humor Too bad so many people don’t have a sense of humor anymore ….. I’m glad to see that some if not most do have a sense of humor still though

- Bancie1031 on December 20th, 2010

@ Maya- Kaylee Anthony wasn’t denied her mother, just denied the right ti live past age 3 by her mother, as are many unfortunate children in foster homes and cemeteries all across our great nation. Giving birth doesn’t make you a good parent. Putting the needs of a helpless child first makes a great parent.

- Patti on December 20th, 2010

“This is why children need a mother”.

Seriously? I have a mother and was raised by a mother. Just not my biological one so obviously I didn’t get breastmilk either. Having a mother or not has nothing to do with that.

- Maddie on December 20th, 2010

Hey –
let’s have a little sympathy for a guy who is working full time with newborn twins.

He’s probably EXTREMELY sleep deprived and exhausted from all the stress.

So many of us have had newborns and been off in terms of how we talk and carry ourselves.

Everyone had a rough time with a newborn in the house – he has 2.

Let’s put away our fighting words, and just have a little empathy for the new parent.

- Mrs. R. on December 20th, 2010

Two gay women raising a child is much more natural than two gay men raising one (suffice it to say that this is my personal opinion). A mother is a mother – it doesn’t matter whether by birth or by adoption. I am all for equal rights for gays – but also for the good of the child. And please don’t give examples of orphanages, etc. These two men CREATED their children and knowingly brought them into this situation whereby they will not have a mother. They did not rescue any suffering or orphaned kids.

- Maya on December 20th, 2010

Maya do you have documented proof that not having a mother is in someway harmful to the child… Having 2 parents who love you is the most important thing.

- Sade on December 20th, 2010

This is about having a mother period, not just her breasts.

In case you haven’t noticed, babies grow in their mother’s body and it takes a male and a female to conceive, not two females or two males.

- nosoupforyou on December 20th, 2010

Kathleen Marinelli MD, IBCLC, FABM thank you for the education. I had some experiences with milk-banks when my best friend delivered at 25weeks. The baby needed breast milk but she was not able to produce it. You and all the selfless women out there that give so freely something as personal as breast milk. THANK YOU FOR GIVING MY NIECE. If it wasn’t for the donor milk she wouldn’t have made it. I agree with you NPH instead of making jokes about this should educate himself and be a positive voice in the world for Milk Banks. After all it is you that are making his daughters growth possible.

B.R.

- B.R on December 20th, 2010

Maya- So you’re saying a child must have a mother, but it’s perfectly fine for them not to have a father (which is obviously the case when two gay women are raising a child together)?

Lori- I agree with you, especially about the fact that he said this on late night TV, and a comedy show no less. Pretty much everyone who goes on those shows jokes around!

- CelebBabyLover on December 21st, 2010

“This is about having a mother period, not just her breasts. In case you haven’t noticed, babies grow in their mother’s body and it takes a male and a female to conceive, not two females or two males.”

Babies don’t always grow in their mother’s body…..as many babies are adopted. So, does that make them less belonging to their adoptive parents? Based on what you say above, seems like it to me.

IMO, it doesn’t matter who is their during conception or during the time the child is in womb, it is who is their to raise the child. The childs parent(s) are who matter. Maybe a sister/brother, aunt/uncle, friend, two dads, two moms…….

Not really understand why a mom is needed. I know why a female is needed for a baby to be conceived.

- Jill on December 21st, 2010

I better go and tell my frind that she must stop acting as the loving, caring, nurturing, funny, intelligent human being she thinks she is and start embracing the emotional mess she must be since she was raised by only her father since two weeks old. To forget her lovely grandmothers who cared for her during the day when her father was working and later picked her up from kindergarten and school, those cool aunts who took her shopping and taught her to put on makeup and discussed feimine issues, that great teacher who she is still in touch with years after finishing school, her best friends mother who she still calls every now and then, just because she has been a wonderful source of everything during her formative years, and all the other great women in her surroundings, who have helped make her the woman she is today. Would getting depressed and taking up a habit of self harming be an adequate response to not ever having had a mother?

- MiB on December 21st, 2010

Seriously, Maya? Your logic makes no sense at all.

I stand by my opinion that Harper and Gideon are very lucky babies because they have two fathers who love them very much. It doesn’t matter who raises children as long as they’re well taken care of and loved.

- klutzy_girl on December 21st, 2010

Oh for chrissakes, seriously?
He was joking!

Must every single thing a celebrity say and do be a public service announcement for something? Can they not joke about their lives and their experiences without someone wagging their finger at them for not representing “the cause” in a responsible somber manner?
SERIOUSLY?

Being the more socially acceptable and/or traditional gender, sexual orientation, marital status, religion or even race does not make anyone a better parent.

Next time you’re out..look, really look at people with their children.

Love has no boundaries at all, but neither does cruelty.

Maya and Nosoupfor you….I orginally had a long logical retort for ya’ll. But deleted it. Because I know a closed mind when I see it.

- Delilah on December 21st, 2010

It offends me that the first lady was not offended that the breast milk she donated for free is so expensive rich people complain about the price! I donate my milk to help those who cannot breast feed, not to line someone’s pockets!

And I personally thought his interview was hilarious! This world would be a better place if people would lighten up!

- Ren on December 21st, 2010

Strangely enough, I was the opposite to NPH’s daughter – couldn’t take breast milk, got terrible colic and was incredibly fussy. My mother switched me to formula when I was a couple of weeks old and I calmed down almost immediately.

- K on December 21st, 2010

Oh NPH, if only you knew how hard it was to breastfeed – you would never even joke about the expense. Just thank God you are in the position to be able to obtain it.

- Dickie on December 21st, 2010

I don’t understand why so many feel that children can’t survive without a “mother” present. Are men not capable of taking care of children? Not all women have that natural instinct to nurture their children & if the father didn’t step in, then these children will end up who know’s where. Plain & simple, these babies have 2 men who love them & are enjoying taking care of them.

With that said, the milk banks are making a rediculous profit on something they get for free. I researched it when I was nursing my daughter. The donor is responsible for all testing that has to be done to ensure that the milk is clean. I know of one case where a woman was paying $900 a month just to give her baby donated breastmilk from a milk bank. So yes, I think it’s fair for NPH to be able to JOKE about the cost of buying donated breastmilk.

- MG on December 21st, 2010

I’ve got over 250 oz in my freezer and I looked into donating it, but found out I pretty much would have had to had everything looked at before, I had no clue I’d have so much to begin with. I can def atest to it being the best for a child though. My twins were born at 34 weeks (I had preeclampsia, so please don’t attack me for it) and they had to supplement with formula a few days till my milk came in, their little bodies just couldn’t digest it and one of my boys dropped to below 4 lbs, once mine came in and they got it, they improved almost overnight. It was amazing. I have other opninions, but not gonna share them here. I’m just glad they figured out how to help that helpless baby, so good on them

- Sherri P on December 21st, 2010

Again, I think nosoupforyou needs to revise their comment. Babies grow in a woman’s body and it takes an egg and sperm to conceive, a.k.a. IVF and surrogacy. You don’t need a man and a woman to make a baby. It is totally doable for 2 men, 2 women or a single person to make a baby. Welcome to the 21st century. Babies aren’t just made the old fashioned way anymore. Plus straight couples use IVF and surrogacy too!

- Elise on December 22nd, 2010

Sherri P- Why would anyone attack you for having premature babies? Lots of women have premature babies, and 99.9 percent of the time it’s because of something that was completely beyond their control. Anyone who would claim that someone had their baby/babies as prematurely as you did because they actually WANTED to (i.e., scheduled a C-section that long before the due date) has obviously never had a premature baby themselves or known a person who has.

I’m sorry you felt like you had to actually ask people not to attack you.

K- You sound like me! I, too, did not do well on breastmilk. I was fussy and colicky, and in addition that I stopped gaining weight early on and would not gain any more. At three months, I still fit easily into newborn-sized clothing. So my parents switched me to soy formula….and almost immeditely I began gaining weight and wasn’t quite as colicky.

My guess is that my digestive system was maturing a little slower than most babies’ do, and thus couldn’t digest milk properly (I outgrew the problem, as, though I actually dislike milk, I can eat cheese, yogurt, and other dairy products without a problem, which is why I hesitate to call it lactose intolerence. I’m not 100 percent sure, but I don’t think you can outgrow that.).

Anyway, it’s just interesting to hear of someone else who had the same issue with breastmilk that I did as a baby.

Delilah- You are spot on, girl!

- CelebBabyLover on December 22nd, 2010

I need to second everything my colleague Dr. Marinelli said above. The comment by MG is patently absurd – HMBANA milk banks are not-for-profit, and lose money on every ounce they distribute. Mother’s donate for free because in CA milk is considered a “human tissue” by law, and it is illegal to pay tissue donors. The charges don’t cover our cost of processing. We survive with the help of donations. Babies all over the country survive in part because of the milk distributed by banks like Dr. Marinelli’s and mine.

I understand that Mr. Harris is joking, and cordially invite him to come visit the bank that is supplying his child. It would be our pleasure to show-off our “fancy” facility [read 37-yr old trailer]. In the spirit of good humor, I offer to swap every penny I’ve been paid for being director of a milk bank for 20 yrs [exactly $0.00] for what NPH has paid for sushi over that time. Looking forward to his visit at his earliest convenience.

Ron Cohen, MD; Medical Director, Mothers’ Milk Bank of San Jose

- Ron Cohen, MD on December 22nd, 2010

Last time I checked, men couldnt give birth, so yes technically, infants DO need mothers, AND fathers. I do remember reading a study about children of lesbian couples that reiterated that point. We personally know a lesbian couple who have 6 year old twin girls, and let me tell you, they aren’t these happy, well-adjusted, bubbly children that you all seem to think kids of same sex couples would be. Now let me reiterate, I dont care what people do, it’s not my business, but just from observing those girls, they can barely speak, don’t get along with other children, no social skills, I can go on and on…Kids need a FATHER just as much as they need a mother. Poor dads just dont get the credit they deserve. My kids are lucky they have such an awesome daddy

- JessicaC on December 22nd, 2010

Single parents raise happy, healthy kids all the time. As long as single parents exist, a situation which is deemed perfectly acceptable, it is impossible to argue that children need both a mother and a father. They don’t.

- Elise on December 22nd, 2010

@Jessica that sounds more like a failure of those particular parents, not proof of the inability of all gay people to parent, or proof that you need one of each gender parent effectively. Straight parents and gay parents can both do crappy jobs a raising their kids. Parenting skill has nothing to do with sexuality. You need a man and a woman to MAKE a baby, but you don’t need a man and a woman to RAISE a child.

- Meghan on December 22nd, 2010

Ron, my comment speaks the truth. The woman I spoke about had donated milk with her previous children. With her last one, she found out that her cancer that was in remission had returned. As soon as they delivered the baby, they started her on Chemo which resulted in her not being able to breastfeed. Because she had donated her milk, the milk bank that she went through had a credit save up for her. She used that up within a couple of months & rather than switch to formula, she opted to pay to continue her child of breastmilk. Her father, a former co-worker of mine, came to me when he found out I was nursing & offered to pay me for my breastmilk. I wasn’t producing enough to feed my own daughter & felt weird charging someone for my breastmilk, so I declined. Also, this didn’t happen in CA. Yes Ron, there are other states in this country. It happened back East. I’m not entirely sure where exactly she was getting her breastmilk from, but she was paying a pretty penny for it.

- MG on December 22nd, 2010

Elise- Techincally, you DO need a man and a woman to make a baby: A man to provide the sperm and a woman to provide the egg. That being said, I understand what you’re saying, and I agree with you completely!

- CelebBabyLover on December 23rd, 2010

You need a woman and a man to be conceived and a woman to be born. You do not need a mother or a father to do either of those.

- Jill on December 23rd, 2010

Sorry MG – HMBANA milk banks are NOT “making a rediculous [sic] profit”. We lose money on what we distribute. The fact that it costs a lot of money to provide a safe, sterile source of milk is reality, not greed. It is true of blood, too, which is donated free but costs a lot to get. The difference? Insurance companies will pay for transfusions, but do not cover the cost of banked milk. Your gripe should be with the insurers, not the banks. Believe me, you couldn’t afford multiple blood transfusions, either, if you needed to pay for them yourself!

Best wishes – RON

- Ron Cohen, MD on December 23rd, 2010

@ Cici – you don’t “support” homosexuality? Well, I don’t “support” people with a gap between their front teeth. Eww! Freaks of nature!

It’s something you’re BORN WITH!

- Vera on December 26th, 2010

People, people, people, please take a BREATH. He’s on The Late Late Show and adding a bit of levity to a personal story. There’s nothing more to it.

I had the pleasure of spending some time with NPH down in San Diego last year (as I’m good friends with Felicia Day, his co-star in “Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog”), and I gotta say he is one INCREDIBLE guy. Very sincere, polite, accepting and ready to hear what you have to say.

Not to mention he and I both do magic, so that was pretty fun. Making quarters disappear and cards appear places they really have no business being.

The guy is a genuinely sweet person. I’d consider it a pleasure and an honor to hang with him again, and would any time.

And to anyone posting crap about homosexuality, GET OVER YOURSELVES. Sorry, peeps, but you’re overruled. I’m a straight guy, and would never consider having a relationship with another man, but does that mean I can’t fully accept another’s right to do so? Obviously not.

I have no interest in practicing any religion aside from my own, but I fully accept all others as perfectly legitimate beliefs, if not only because other people have the RIGHT to believe whatever they choose to.

It’s this sort of bigotry that had black people hanging from trees in Mississippi, and it never wins out in the end.

Vince Caso

- Vince Caso on January 4th, 2011

Maya and Nosoupforyou,
Last I checked, Charlie Sheen’s twins had a mom and dad….which, as I recall… that isn’t going so hot. So, why not quit with your blanket “every child needs a mom” garbage, and let’s focus on love, attention and devotion to children.

- DeeRay on March 14th, 2011