Marissa Jaret Winokur co-hosts the new CBS daytime chat show, The Talk, and is mom to 2-year-old Zev Isaac with her husband Judah Miller. Winokur, 37, was diagnosed with cervical cancer 10 years ago, had a hysterectomy and later welcomed her son with the help of a surrogate. Though her road to motherhood had a few twists and turns, she faces the same joys — and challenges — as any working mom.
In her latest and final blog Winokur bids farewell to readers – and talks about her decision to undergo IVF to try to have another child.
|Happy Hanukkah from Judah and Zev! — Courtesy Marissa Jaret Winokur|
So here is my last blog — for now. I have loved sharing everything with you guys. The number one reason I’ve loved this experience is being able to read all of your comments. I have finally felt like a normal mom. I know that everything I am going through is normal and my worst mommy days are shared with, I like to think, millions (or maybe hundreds) of other moms.
This holiday week was amazing! I found a way to trick, yeah I said it — trick! — my son Zev into going to preschool. I noticed he loved going to work with me. If I say, “Let’s go, it’s school time,” he won’t get changed and he says his clothes are “spicy.” He can’t get dressed.
(If you missed the story on The Talk, Zev says that everything is too spicy, scary or wet. Not just food, but when it’s bath time or time to put on his PJs. He yells, “No, no PJs — they’re too scary, spicy and wet” all in one breath!)
So getting him dressed to go to school is the same story — “too spicy.” But when I tell him he has to hurry because Mommy is going to work, he runs and gets his clothes to beat me to the car. So I now bring Zev to work with me early, get him a treat and then bring him to school. IT’S AMAZING! I am not lying to him — I do bring him to work. But it is the long way to school.
Hanukkah was awesome! It was the first year Zev could really participate and enjoy the holiday. I do admit, we may celebrate 10 nights! Zev was so cute “lighting” the candles and singing the songs. I never wanted it to end. But the night I found myself running to the drug store to make sure I had a present (bubbles go a long way!) was the night I explained that Hanukkah is really eight nights.
|At work on The Talk with Mom — Courtesy Marissa Jaret Winokur|
I hate leaving this blog on such a cliffhanger so please follow me on twitter (@marissajwinokur) for more … but … here goes …
I have spent the last month doing IVF and this week I had my eggs removed!!! Judah and I have six embryos waiting to find a womb!!!
I can’t believe I’m fully back in the process of trying to have a baby! I know it sounds crazy, but I can’t imagine loving anyone the way I love Zev. I know he will adore having a sibling. I know having me as a mom is hard and he needs a brother or sister to share my craziness with! When I ask him if he wants a baby brother or sister he says “a baby boy.” Who knows!
Now that the first step is over and I am fully pumped up on hormones, I am so excited to keep moving forward. I am the youngest of four siblings and we’re all so close. I don’t know where I would be without my brothers and sister. I secretly believe that my parents love me the most! How can that be? I know I’ve said it before, but how could I possibly love as hard — again after Zev? Well, my parents did four times!
|The Winokur Family! — Courtesy Marissa Jaret Winokur|
I am so nervous about the newborn stage, but at least this time I know that one day I will make contact with the alien and bond. And when that day comes I will be hooked forever. I hope the process doesn’t take forever, but I have faith it will work out the way it’s supposed to.
That being said, I am not looking forward to the rollercoaster ride of it all. I have a few girlfriends who are also trying to get pregnant and every month they feel a little let down when they get their period. But hey, at least they have sex over and over again trying to get pregnant!
I mean, I could pretend that our embryo wasn’t being made in a Petri dish, but who has the energy at the end of the day? If it were sex to make a baby that’s one thing, but to just do it to do it … who’s got the time?
I have really enjoyed sharing my day-to-day mom-isms with you and hope to continue to share through other spaces. If I can leave you with one thing, I just want you all to know that we as women and mothers are all doing the best we can. We have to stop beating ourselves up — and stop beating each other up.
Additionally, we should make sure to enjoy our kids at every stage. By the time kids are 2 years old, they will all be able to stack blocks. By kindergarten, they will all count to 10. By third grade they will read (not all … I think I didn’t really start till fifth grade!). What I’m trying to say is that by 18, they will all be potty trained and have gone through puberty.
I for one know at that point — when Zev is dating and talking about moving out — I will try very hard to lock him back in that car and keep him with me forever. So enjoy ‘em while we have ‘em!
– Marissa Jaret Winokur