Marissa Jaret Winokur’s Blog: My Son’s Separation Anxiety
Thanks for welcoming Marissa Jaret Winokur! The actress, who co-hosts the new CBS daytime chat show, The Talk, is mom to 2-year-old Zev Isaac with her husband Judah Miller. Winokur, 37, was diagnosed with cervical cancer 10 years ago, had a hysterectomy and later welcomed her son with the help of a surrogate. Though her road to motherhood had a few twists and turns, she faces the same joys — and challenges — as any working mom. In her latest blog, Winokur laments her son’s recent problems with separation anxiety.
|Zev and Mom – Courtesy Marissa Jaret Winokur|
This week was insane. My son is obviously going through what they call separation anxiety — whatever that is and whoever “they” are. I am not really sure if it’s because we went on our wonderful family vacation — we had so much family time with no work and no Internet that maybe it opened my son’s eyes to the good life. Or maybe it’s just that he is now 2 years and 3 months old and it’s normal. PLEASE TELL ME IT’S NORMAL.
The Good Old Days
When I leave for work now it’s no longer, “Bah-bye, Mom.” It’s a complete throw-down fight. He cries for what I’m told is 30-40 minutes! On Wednesday, I took him to the set with me and let him hang out because I seriously couldn’t get out the door, and my husband was like, “Let’s go with Mommy.” I felt so guilty I let him pick out the biggest donut covered with sprinkles! Judge away … If my co-hosts saw this, they would for sure!
I remember when my son was littler and we would go to the park — other big kids would refuse to share toys or scream at my baby when he would waddle over to them. I was always so frustrated with those kids and wondered what their parents were doing wrong.
Well, now my son is THAT big kid! My sweet little boy won’t share his toys and actually screamed, “NO BABY, NO BABY” when a little girl tried to sit next to him the other day. He put his hand out and then fell to the ground like he was in pain!
When we were at My Gym on Tuesday, I had to force him to do the seesaw with another child. I did it very calmly, but still he was so mad. He wants me to be right next to him at all times — so much so that I needed a break on the weekend. I sent my husband off to the local zoo with Zev, while I went to a kid’s birthday party by myself! Yup, I went to a 3-year-old’s birthday party without my 2-year-old!
Before you cast your opinion, hear me out: Zev and Daddy needed a little alone-time. My nerves were totally fried and the birthday party was for a very old friend of mine who has twin daughters. I was going to see many friends I hadn’t seen in a while, and I really just wanted to sit and have some girl-talk and catch up!
Now, picking a kid’s birthday party to sit and catch up may not sound right on paper, but it was the best party I have ever been too! I really needed to regroup.
|Judah and Zev – Courtesy Marissa Jaret Winokur|
Calling Out In the Night
At night, Zev is really getting manipulative: Rather than crying in the middle of the night, he is now saying, “Mamma … Mamma where are you?” How can I not answer?! He isn’t calling for me — he’s asking, “Where are you?” like maybe I am gone! So when I go to his room and say, “Mamma and Daddy are home, we are sleeping,” he now says, “Mamma cuddle,” or “Hold you, Mamma.” How can I say no?! He knows I can’t resist a good snuggle!
Seriously, this whole sleeping alone thing may not be where it’s at! Think about it. I don’t want to sleep alone. Why should he? I would so much rather have a good snuggle anytime! And as an adult, as much as I love my mom and dad, I would never want to snuggle with them — a three-second hug is plenty! This may be the only time my son will want to just hug me all night long. And he does! He smushes his face on my face and then falls asleep. How can I leave him? In all honesty I don’t want to.
It breaks my heart to look at my son and think that the way I look at him and — even when I need a break — the amount of love I have for him, my parents have for me! I never really got it until now. My mom always has that crazy “love” look in her eye that totally annoyed me until I felt myself looking at my son the same way.
This does not take away from the fact that my son threw such a temper tantrum at his best friend Jack’s house that Jack’s aunt called it “The Exorcism of Studio City.” It was so bad that I actually had to leave with him. I was so helpless and lost that I put him in his car seat and slowly took the long route home to calm him down. It was all over a bubble machine that ran out of bubbles! But I kind of understood: Why did they have a bubble machine out with no bubbles! REALLY JACK, WHY?!
|Zev and Jack – Courtesy Marissa Jaret Winokur|
— Marissa Jaret Winokur