Lily Allen Loses Her Baby

Nick Sadler/Startraks

Lily Allen has again suffered the heartbreak of losing a child during pregnancy.

“It is with great sadness that we have to confirm that Lily Allen and Sam Cooper have lost their baby,” the British singer’s rep tells PEOPLE in a statement.

“The couple ask that their privacy be respected and that they be left alone at this deeply distressing time. No further comment will be made.”

Allen, 25, announced a few weeks ago that the baby, a boy, was due in January. This is her second such loss – coming almost three years after she suffered a miscarriage during her relationship with musician Ed Simons.

Allen and Cooper, an upmarket decorator, had announced their pregnancy in August. Allen had also Tweeted a pic of herself excitedly holding up a newspaper with the good news.

Allen has spoken of having children as “ultimately my main goal” in life.

– Simon Perry

Comments

Chloe on November 1st, 2010

Absolutely tragic, my thoughts and prayers are with Lily and Sam at this difficult time

Ceecee on November 1st, 2010

How heartbreaking. My heart goes out to Lily and Sam.

Jo on November 1st, 2010

Im so sorry.

sara on November 1st, 2010

omg i feel so bad for her!!! im keeping her in my thoughts. im so sorry for your loss!

Ashleigh-Faye on November 1st, 2010

May peace come their way. This is a very sad time and I hope the press and paps give them space. I also hope they called in “Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep.” Sorry for your loss. this little boy with angel wings and family will be in my prayers!

Erika on November 1st, 2010

Oh my God! Words can not even describe how terrible this must be! I was never a fan of Lily’s but she seems like a nice person and nobody deserves this. Any loss is terrible, but I’m sure being to a point where the baby could possibly survive with medical intervention, after you already know the sex must be so devestating. I’m so sorry to hear this, and my thoughts are with the family.

alice jane on November 1st, 2010

How awful.. my heart is honestly breaking for her and Sam. I couldn’t imagine being so far into a pregnancy and having felt all the changes in your body and felt your baby moving inside you. They’re in my thoughts.

South Africa on November 1st, 2010

Such sad news to hear of your miscarriage, you have been so far already… may god heal you in this time of pain… I also suffered two miscarriages this year, and its not a nice thing to go through… stay strong and keep well Lily

Meagan on November 1st, 2010

Oh My! My heart goes out to them and their families over the loss of this baby! Words can’t express my feelings over this loss. I pray the lord lays his hand upon them in the tragic time.

Jemi on November 1st, 2010

This is just so sad.

klutzy_girl on November 1st, 2010

Oh my God, I’m so sorry! That’s horrible to hear she suffered another miscarriage.

Hea on November 1st, 2010

Oh NO! How devastating. Rest in peace little baby. I can’t help but wonder what happened. She was so far along. My heart truly goes out to them.

Lila on November 1st, 2010

My heart breaks for her. Having a miscarriage is hard, having one this late in the pregnancy is devestating. I hope they can figure out what is causing her to repeat miscarry and fix the issue so they don’t have to endure this pain for a third time.

Kristin on November 1st, 2010

My heart is absolutely breaking for Lily. I’m in tears, I don’t understand why this has to happen to people who want to have a baby so bad.

Demetria on November 1st, 2010

Will keep Lily and Sam in my thoughts. I’m very sorry.

Amelia on November 1st, 2010

OMG I feel so bad for her, I feel like I’m about to cry. Plus, it is the second time, and this time the baby was more “real”, I mean she was 6 months pregnant.
Poor thing, my thoughts are with her, Sam, and their families.

Colleen on November 1st, 2010

Oh no, I am SO sorry for your loss. How heartbreaking.

annefan on November 1st, 2010

omg I’m so sorry for them ( I will keep them in my thoughts. It’s so sad that it has to happen to her again

Dee on November 1st, 2010

I cant believe this happened to her again!!! My heart broke for her the first time and this time round I am just beyond words. She was so happy in her pictures and was beaming. I hope she has a strong family around to support her through this terrible tragedy. R.I.P sweet little angel.

So so sad!!!

Allie-Rose on November 1st, 2010

That’s terrible news. My heart goes out to Lily and Sam

Karen on November 1st, 2010

Heartbroken for her.

momto3 on November 1st, 2010

She was due in January and its now November, Which means she she upwards of 28-30wks along or so?? Oh My Gosh, That is beyond Heartbreaking!!! I know people personnally who gave birth to babies at 24wks and those children are now a few years old and thriving normal, healthy children, to hear of such a loss so far along just seems crazy to me:( My heart goes out to Lily and her Partner, I can’t imagine going through this once let alone twice!!:(

momin florida on November 1st, 2010

I’m so sorry and wish privacy for her at this time. But in due time, I wish her a blessed little bundle to hold and love. Thoughts and prayers are with her

Lauren on November 1st, 2010

This is so incredibly sad. Lily was so genuinely excited to be a mum-even back before she miscarried her first child she was already talking about what school it would go to and how she would raise it. You can tell how much she wants a child and that she was really ready to grow up and do what she had to do.

I was worried for her when she announced this pregnancy but really thought she would make it once the first few months went by. I really hope she is able to have the child she wants to badly in the future. My deepest condolences to her and Sam.

Mel on November 1st, 2010

I feel so bad for her. No one should ever have to lose a baby once let alone twice. This time she made it to the age of viability at the very least being 27-28 weeks along and had to experience a stillbirth or a preemie depending on the situation. I pray she gets the testing she needs so hopefully this does not happen again. I cannot imagine the pain of going through this as well as the worry that this will happen again if she conceives. I had a friend lose three before they found she had a clotting disorder. She now has two children. I admire all women who can continue to try again after experiencing such loss.

redgirl on November 1st, 2010

I am so sorry for the loss of their child. Losing a child is a pain so deep that no words can make it better. Prayers and thoughts are with you!

jayne on November 1st, 2010

Such awful news , my heart goes out to them x

Ellea on November 1st, 2010

This is really really sad…I hope they get thru this okay.

RachelfromBoston on November 1st, 2010

my heart breaks for Lily & Sam
I wish you all the love, healing & comfort in the world during this difficult time.. <3

jessicad on November 1st, 2010

How awful and unexpected, I’m even crying! I can’t imagine what she must be going through, my thoughts are with her and Sam.

Anonymous on November 1st, 2010

Oh this is so heartbreaking! My thoughts go out to Lily and Sam and their family. I am due around the same time and have suffered an early miscarriage before so I really identify with her – I cannot imagine having to go through what she is going through now. I really how they will be able to work through this and wish them a little bundle of joy in the near future. It will never make up for this dreadful experience but she so deserves to become a happy mom, she was so obviously looking forward to it

Shirelle on November 1st, 2010

I feel so bad for them my heart goes out to them. Lilly hold your head up it will happen one day.

rebekah on November 1st, 2010

how truly devastating.

Shannon on November 1st, 2010

When I saw this headline I couldn’t believe it. I am so sorry for her. She was 6/7 months along? I feel so terrible. I can’t imagine the pain they are going through right now. My prayers are with them.

Lacey on November 1st, 2010

This is so heartbreaking. I can’t even imagine what she’s going through right now. My thoughts are definetly with them. I’m shocked.

Shannon on November 1st, 2010

This is so sad. I hope they can figure out why this keeps happening.

SadieA on November 1st, 2010

Oh my goodness, this is absolutely heartbreaking. One of nature’s cruelest tragedies. I’ll keep her and Sam in my thoughts.

lola on November 1st, 2010

I am so sorry to hear this! Tears shot to my eyes since I read every post about her here and learnt how much she wanted to be a mom. Now she has to experience something so terrible for a second time. Just not fair. I wish her a lot of strenght to get through this and am sure she is surrounded by loving people who support her during this sad time. Be strong, Lily!

JMO on November 1st, 2010

oh that’s heartbreaking. My thoughts are with her and her Sam. Nobody should have to go through this once let alone twice

Devon on November 1st, 2010

Wow. Just wow. This is the second time in 2 weeks that I have heard of someone losing a baby so late into their pregnancy. A friend of mine lost her baby at 38 weeks along 2 weeks ago. You would think when you are in you late 2nd and late 3rd trimester everything would work out but wow. My heart goes out to Lily, Sam and their families. No one should have to go through this.

B.J. on November 1st, 2010

Oh no.. oh no, I have the chills, poor Lily I want to cry. This meant so much to her.. and to be so far along.. I feel so incredibly sad for Lily. I hope she has the support to get through this.

Ashley on November 1st, 2010

Oh No! That is heartbreaking! I am so sorry for their loss.

Christine on November 1st, 2010

I am very saddened to hear of this not once but twice for her. I too am a survivor of almost 5 yrs and a new loss this yr. I am just appreciative of “stars” sharing their stories too…It helps all of us a lot to hear our cries. NO ONE needs to EVER go through this ALONE. Praying for you and your family…

SarahS. on November 1st, 2010

How absolutely tragic for them. I will keep Lily and Sam in my thoughts today.

Brookie on November 1st, 2010

That is absolutely heartbreaking. I cannot even begin to imagine what she is going through right now. This is a tragic reminder of how tomorrow is never promised. I just hate this for her. She was so excited, knew it was a boy…. felt that baby move inside of her. Just heartbreaking. My thoughts and prayers are with them.

B.J. on November 1st, 2010

This news breaks my heart. I love Lily and her music, and to know just how badly she wanted this.. oh my, I feel like crying for her. Horrible news.

Amanda on November 1st, 2010

Oh no!

I know Lily doesn’t likely read these things but if she does, take it one day at a time, know that there will be happy times again and allow yourself to grieve without losing hope for the future. You are a mother and you have a son whether he is physically here or not and he will forever be your guardian angel.

Unfortunately these things are not always for any specific reason. I know of one peson who lost 2 babies late in pregnancy due to two differen reasons and went on to later have two beautiful, healthy babies with no complications at all.

meghan on November 1st, 2010

I can’t believe this is happening to her again. And so far along this time. I really thought things were going to work out for her this time.

Amy on November 1st, 2010

I thought I had clicked on an old post by accident! There are no words…how absolutely devastating. My prayers go out to Lily and Sam. Ughh how awful.

Megan on November 1st, 2010

This is heartbreaking to read. I’m due with a baby boy in January and I can’t imagine something going wrong at this point. My thoughts and prayers are with them.

D on November 1st, 2010

This is just a tragedy. There has to be something that is causing her to not be able to carry to term.

Amy Jo on November 1st, 2010

My heart aches for her. I know how horrible to lose a baby that far along into your pregnancy. How sad for her. Unfortunately, nothing anything anyone says to her will help her sadness…she will have to work it out herself. That pain never totally goes away. You always wonder what if I had done this….or that..

Rachel on November 1st, 2010

How incredibly heartbreaking! My heart truly goes out to Lily and Sam. I simply cannot even begin to imagine what they’re experiencing. “Miscarriage” just doesn’t even seem an appropriate word for a loss that late in pregnancy. Of course, especially when they didn’t say whether their son was stillborn or passed after birth.

All I can say is that my thoughts and prayers are with them.

mary on November 1st, 2010

First of all, I am so sorry to hear this. The loss of a child is just suh a tragedy. Secondly, I hope Lily knows that she is not alone. There are resources out there for them. There are groups of amazing people who can help through some of the darkest moments. I wish I could give her a big hug.

N.S on November 1st, 2010

I am so so sorry for Lily and Sam, this is heart breaking news – there are no words to discribe the hurt they must both be feeling.

My heart goes out to them.

Dee on November 1st, 2010

My heart breaks for Lily and Sam. Many prayers that they have strength to get through this terrible tragedy.

As far along as she was it’s no longer considered a miscarriage though, that term is incorrect. It’s a stillbirth/loss of infant. My heart absolutely breaks for anyone that has to go through that.

Many many prayers, I’m just so sad to see this.

Brooklyn on November 1st, 2010

So sad. My thoughts are with them both.

Kathryn Baker on November 1st, 2010

I am so sorry for her loss. Unfortunately, I know too well what Lily is going through. I lost my precious baby boy, Nathan, at 35 weeks. I found out I have a blood clotting disorder after I lost him. (Factor II Prothrombin Mutation) I hope she realizes when people say dumb things at this time, they do really mean well. It took me a while to realize this. She needs to surround herself by people that truly care about her during this terrible time.

Sarah on November 1st, 2010

I suffered through this myself in July of this year. I was 25 weeks 2 days when we found out our sweet Harper had left us. My heart breaks for them right now because nothing but time will ease the pain. Everyday is a struggle. This just shows that pregnancy loss does not discriminate. It hurts no matter who you are. I am just so sorry another person had to experience this loss.

Sarah on November 1st, 2010

Just so people know, once you hit 20 weeks it is no longer considered a miscarriage, it is called a stillbirth. Most people don’t know that unless they have experienced it. You have to fill out birth/death certificates or one that combines both, a stillbirth certificate. My heart just aches knowing someone else suffered the same loss I have, and several of my friends have.

baby lover! on November 1st, 2010

My cousin had the same thing happen to her and we believe that when a baby leaves it’s mother without being born yet, it is not time for the mother to have that baby. That baby simply chose another mother (spiritually). They (my cousin and his wife) chose to accept that answer and it has healed them immensely and after they lost that one child, they were blessed with twins! (NOT in vitro) Things happen but because something else will happen.

My deepest sympathy to Lily and Sam.

Rachel on November 1st, 2010

OMG, this is not what I wanted to read first. My thoughts and prayers are with her and husband. My eyes are tearing up right now becauase I had my first child last month and I cannot even imagine what she must be going through right now. God give her strength.

Sydney on November 1st, 2010

I heard this news this morning in the UK and was waiting for it to pop up here. I’m sure losing a baby at any stage is devastating, but being so close to the finish line, so to speak, must feel like a kick in the teeth.

I can’t imagine how it must feel to go through what they are right now, my love and thoughts are with Lily, Sam and all the other parents that go through this every day. Condolences.

Lou x on November 1st, 2010

So upset to hear this news, reading all the lovely comments made me well up again. It is lovely to read so much support for her, I hope her and Sam remain strong and are able to find out what went wrong.

RIP little angel, my heart goes out to Lily and Sam xxx

HDJ on November 1st, 2010

I am so sorry to hear of this heart breaking news.

As a mommy who has suffered a miscarriage to triplets, and then the death of one of her twin sons…my heart aches.
I am bothered by one comment on here about this pregnancy being more “real” than the first because of the gestational length! FYI…to a mother of loss, this comment is a huge slap in the face. EVERY life is real at ANY point gestation! And I’m sure Lily feels just as broken about her previous loss. I STILL mourn my first losses!
Comments like that just compound the pain to a mother of loss.

Lily…I am terribly sorry, and your privacy SHOULD be respected! I hope this will be the case. Your babies will forever be remembered!

Anonymous on November 1st, 2010

This is so sad!! I was excited and happy for her when I saw her belly show. I was really hoping she wouldn’t lose her baby like last time. I feel terrible!!

Mia on November 1st, 2010

She was so far along!-How sad My condolences to her + family.

Beautee on November 1st, 2010

This is absolutely heartbreaking news……….. RIP Angel.

fuzibuni on November 1st, 2010

((**HUGS TO YOU LILY**))

i hope you can feel all the love and support flooding to you and sam from around the world.

heather on November 1st, 2010

not that this pregnancy was more “real” than her previous one, but that it is incorrectly being called a miscarriage. Though the heartbreak of miscarriage is huge, there is another element when the baby passes away at a point in the pregnancy when he could have, most likely, lived outside of the womb. Rest in Peace sweet little boy. Bless her heart, and Sam’s too, the pain must be unbearable right now.No baby will ever make up for this little fellow (or her first lost baby) but I hope that eventually, she will get fulfill her dream of being the Mama to a living child.

Terri on November 1st, 2010

Oh no, not again. I’m so sorry for Lily and Sam.

Kristin on November 1st, 2010

The tears just rolled as I read this post….I am so sorry for your loss…..may God watch over you all during this horrible time.

tink1217 on November 1st, 2010

My heart just breaks for her and Sam. I have had 15 losses and it is devastating. I have 2 friends who had 2 second trimester losses also. The pain is unbelievable to bear. Wishing Lily peace and comfort during this sad time. I hope she can figure out why she is miscarrying and be able to keep the next one full term. Losing a child…there are just no words.

Kara on November 1st, 2010

I am due with a baby boy about the same time as Lily was due. I thought we were safe now because of 24 week viability has come and gone and the percentage of survival goes up every week. Now I am really scared…

IndieBambino on November 1st, 2010

Just to clarify, this is not a “miscarriage” but a stillbirth or neonatal loss (I dont know the details). Miscarriage is reserved for losses before 20 weeks, and she was at least 6 months along. My heart goes out to her, I speak from experience that this is is an extremely painful time for them.

JMO on November 1st, 2010

I know someone whose baby died when she was about 28 weeks along. She had to birth this child!! No easy task!

My heart goes out to anyone that has had a miscarriage and/or stillbirth or even a child who has passed away. I don’t have kids yet but I can tell you how scary these stories make it. I couldn’t even imagine the pain! My SIL gave birth to twins at 26 wks along and we thought both babies would never make it and thankfully they both survived and are happy and healthy 5 year olds!! I am so sad to hear that sometimes people get so far a long in their pregnancy’s and they lose their little one’s.

I hope anyone who has suffered this kind of unfairness is blessed w/ another child someday.

socal on November 1st, 2010

Lily, I am so sorry. My heart just broke when I read the headline to this story, especially after knowing your history of losing a baby three years ago. Both of my identical twin daughters were stillborn, and I also miscarried a baby prior to getting pregnant with my twins. So, even though I don’t know exactly what you are going through, I can imagine the pain and heartbreak you are experiencing. Take things one day at a time, be gentle with yourself, and surround yourself with the love of friends and family…it is what will get you through. Sending you lots of love, hugs, and prayers…

nelly on November 1st, 2010

All the best to her in this horrible time…

iloveec on November 1st, 2010

Ohhh no. That’s terrible. I feel so bad for her- and to be so far along… just devestatingly tragic

Tee on November 1st, 2010

This wasn’t a miscarrage, it was a still birth. Oh, Lily, my heart breaks for you. I am so incredibly sorry. I can’t begin to imagine how you must feel.

Maya on November 1st, 2010

I’m so sorry for them! I hope she finds the strength to continue trying to have children – maybe even consulting a specialist?

Lindsay on November 1st, 2010

Lily, I am so sorry about your loss. My heart broke when I first heard the news. No one deserves to go through this twice. May god watch over you at this dark and horrible time.

J on November 1st, 2010

I agree with you HDJ. And those who keep giving technical lessons on the difference between stillbirths and miscarriages, please stop. It’s a horrible loss no matter what stage of pregnancy.

Georgia on November 1st, 2010

That is so awful for poor Lily I wonder if it was anything to do with the viral infection she’s had lately:

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ukpress/article/ALeqM5gOqD9LXNC-X41wiR69vBChTH6T3g?docId=B36484691288288429A000

it says she had to pull out of a gig due to illness. oh this is so terrible for her

April on November 1st, 2010

Oh my gosh, again?! How horribly sad. My thoughts are with Lily and Sam.

Cynthia on November 1st, 2010

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Mira on November 1st, 2010

I have had early miscarriages and I have healthy children too, and the difference between a stillbirth and a miscarriage is not “technical”. It’s real to many mothers. Maybe some mothers feel equally devastated by a 6th week loss and a 6th month loss, but many (maybe the majority) don’t. At the very least, a stillbirth is physically harder on the mother than a miscarriage. So don’t try to tell other people how they should feel.

I’m so sorry for Lily Allen. She’ll probably be a nervous wreck during her third pregnancy. I hope these are just two tragic coincidences, rather than the result of some underlying problem with her body’s ability to carry a baby to term.

coco on November 1st, 2010

My heart goes out to Lily Allen. I remember how absolutely heartbreaking the first miscarriage was which led to her waiting to announce this pregnancy. She seemed over the moon and then the unthinkable. I literally gasped when I read about it this morning.

It always takes me back to my own late term miscarriage from 10 years ago. I was 5 1/2 almost 6 months along when I lost my daughter. It was devastating and unexplainable. There were very few words that offered comfort. I can remember people saying I was out of the “danger zone” meaning I was past 3 months so I should have been safe. Honestly there is no safe zone in pregnancy. Things happen that we can’t control. I can remember holding my breathing in fear during my second pregnancy (which turned out fine).

My heart goes out to Lily and her fiance. They are in my prayers.

Meghan on November 1st, 2010

Oh my goodness, that is so sad! She has already had to go through this pain and this time she was much further along. She was so excited, this must be awful. Well, i hope she can grieve in peace. I really hope that one day she can finally have a baby. She is young so hopefully it will work out!

denise on November 1st, 2010

it’s heartbreaking. it wasn’t a miscarriage, that late it’s a still-birth. so terrible. my heart goes out to lily & her family.

tracey on November 1st, 2010

I really hoped that they were just recycling the older news of her tragic loss (for some weird reason), so I’m devastated for Lily, Sam and her family to hear of this second tragedy … Here’s hoping she gets the privacy she needs during this horrible time.

Alice on November 1st, 2010

This is heartbreaking, I’m so sorry for them.

HDJ please don’t be offended, it is not “less sad” but I too think it is worse, not because it’s more real but because she had reached the stage where it should be safe. I’m sure she spent the first months worrying because of what happened to her first pregnancy and she was finally able to let herself look forward to it.

Jenn on November 1st, 2010

Like another poster pointed out, this was not a miscarriage, it was a stillbirth.

I know next to nothing about Lily Allen, but I hope she and others around her are gentle with her as she grieves the loss of her son.

Jaedyn on November 1st, 2010

I am so sorry!!!

Clare on November 1st, 2010

I was so shocked and saddened to read this. My thoughts and prayers go out to Lily and her partner. I can’t imagine what they’re going through.

Crystal on November 1st, 2010

I am at a loss for words. The devastation and heartbreak they must feel is I’m sure overwhelming. I am extremely sorry for Lily and Sam. Losing a baby is difficult but losing a baby at this late stage has got to be unbearable! I am praying for them as well as all the other moms who too know the feeling of losing a baby all too well. May God bless all of you guys!!!

Corrie on November 1st, 2010

Thoughts & prayers to Lily and Sam. :’(

Mom2E on November 1st, 2010

My heart and thoughts are with Lily and Sam.

Cathy on November 1st, 2010

Amanda,

“You are a mother and you have a son….”

I have to tell you that this I lost a full-term child years ago, and was unable to bear more children. I have made peace with it as best as I can, and I do have children in my life, and I am happy.

But the simplicity and sentiment of your statement touched me in a way that I can’t begin to tell you. Thank you.

A on November 1st, 2010

Geez, I feel so bad for her! It must be terrible to think that everything is O.K. the second time and then… it’s not.

Bella Mama on November 1st, 2010

God bless poor Lily and Sam. What awful news. I can’t imagine this happening to me and having the news all over the press.

May they have as many babies as they wish soon. <3

Sheri on November 1st, 2010

My heart breaks for Lily … I am praying for her as I write this. I lost our only child in utero 7 years ago, and every January when the baby was to have been born, I think of the years we never had together. It is heartbreaking and this experience forever leaves a void in your heart and life. I pray that God will give her children, somehow and someway, in time.

Susannah on November 1st, 2010

Such a terrible, sad thing for Lily and Sam to go through. I am so sorry.

HDJ, the reason people keep pointing out the ‘technical’ differences is because those differences are very real. A miscarriage is devastating; a stillbirth requires the mother to still go through labour and deliver the baby. I am in no way diminishing early losses, but all research points to the fact that the further along the woman is, the more emotional bonds she has attached to the baby. I had a stillbirth at 6 months, and was in labour for 36 hours.

Kinsey on November 1st, 2010

How awful! The same thing happened to someone I know who was 5 months along with her first baby, a girl. She had cervical insufficiency and the baby passed christmas 8 years ago. It was truly devastating. She now has 2 healthy boys and just had a little baby girl this past winter, although nothing has replaced her first angel. My heart goes out to her and Sam

Traxie on November 1st, 2010

My heart goes out to Lily. I appreciate her sharing this news, however devastating, with her fans. I hope she can draw some comfort from the well wishes from so many people who have gone through a similar tragedy or who are feeling for her at this tragic time.

Rosy on November 1st, 2010

This is such sad news, I am so sorry for her loss. I was so happy for her when I heard the news that she was expecting, she deserved it so much. I cannot imagine how painful it must be to not only lose one but two babies x

sarah on November 1st, 2010

I just gasped when I read this. My heart goes out to Lily and her family. I’ve suffered many losses and I can’t even imagine what she must be going through.

Jenn on November 1st, 2010

HDJ, I am sorry for your losses, and the obvious pain and grief you had to suffer.

But, I also suffered a miscarriage, at the end of my first trimester during my first pregnancy. It was painful and I grieved, but it wasn’t a baby to me; I didn’t lose a child.

Not the way my almost two year old is, not the way the baby I am carrying is. It just isn’t the same.

People feel things differently but to me, a miscarriage and a stillbirth are two very different category of losses.

mommashane on November 1st, 2010

I’m so sorry to hear of this loss. The one thing that I hope it brings to light to all of these CBB readers is how precious it is to have a child and be a parent. All the comments that I just saw on the Adam Sandler post of his daughter calling her ugly and such really makes you wonder how people need to get their thoughts straight. Children are a blessing.

Stacey on November 1st, 2010

Totally shocking and heartbreaking. I cannot imagine how horrible this must be for them.

KikiOttawa on November 1st, 2010

Wow this is so sad. Not just the death of Lily and Sam’s son but how many others have been through the same thing. My heart goes out to Lily, Sam and all the women and their families who have posted they too have lost their children. May you all find the strength to heal and the courage to regain hope. God bless!! xoxo

KikiOttawa on November 1st, 2010

Kara: It is scary to realise that something could still go wrong after 24 weeks, but try not to worry too much. Think positive and stay focused on the beautiful little life you are nurturing inside you. Stressing will not help you or your child, have a cry for Lily’s loss if you need to but then put your energy into preparing for your blessing. Know that once a mother you always worry, whether it be about a miscarriage, stillbirth, not spending enough time with your child, being overprotective, etc., etc.,

Worry and guilt come along with the Mommy territory, just accept it and take comfort in the fact you are in excellent company with every other Mommy in the world . . . .

Heather on November 1st, 2010

That is such sad news and hits home for me. My twin daughters were delivered almost three months early at 29 weeks. They spent 48 days in the NICU with one being on oxygen and monitors until four months old. It was the scariest thing I’ve ever been through. We were so lucky to make it through and to now have 15 month old, healthy happy little girls! My prayers go out to Lily and her family.

Sophia on November 1st, 2010

What an absolutely horrible thing to have to go through again! Once is incredibly sad but two times in three years is so tragic. My thoughts are with Lily, Sam and their families during this unbearable time.

Lyoness on November 1st, 2010

Goodness…Completely in shock…I thought this was about her last miscarriage initially. Prayers, thoughts and well wishes to her and her family that they find peace and strength at this difficult time. Poor thing….

And this is why I don’t blame celebrities when they refuse to confirm a pregnancy. They’re no different than “regular” women and everything is so delicate. I hope the press gives her some time to herself and don’t start a tabloid feeding frenzy.

Molly on November 1st, 2010

This news has been on my mind all day. I hope Sam’s and her family and friends give them plenty of support right now. I hope they find out why this keeps happening to her

kim on November 1st, 2010

My God, that’s awful. I couldn’t imagine losing a baby, let alone that late in the pregnancy, when you’re already used to feeling the little one’s movements. That poor woman. Rest in peace, little one.

Tee on November 1st, 2010

All I’ve ever wanted is to be a mother and at 29 years old, I am terminal and facing a hysterectomy. I am grieving the loss of what could have been in regards to future children.

When people ask me how many nieces I have, I automatically say six, five on earth and one in Heaven. My third born niece had an identical twin sister that was still born. She died on March 20 and the babies were born on May 17. My sister also suffered two other miscarriages and while we grieve those babies as well, the loss of Penelope was much harder. Not ever woman thinks the same way and let’s face it, the loss of a child is the loss of a child.

When I get overwhelmed by the thought of dying, I picture little Penelope greeting me at Heaven’s gates. What a glorious day that will be!

I hope I don’t offend anyone by saying this, but so many people here have spoken about losing a child. I have gone through this list and prayed over each family and will continue to do so.

D on November 1st, 2010

How absolutely terrible… I am due in January and cannot even imagine what she must be feeling. My heart goes out to the two of them.

Kristine on November 1st, 2010

How heartbreakingly sad

Minami86 on November 2nd, 2010

I hope all those people who were saying such horrible things about Lily when she announced this pregnancy are feeling like crap right about now.

This is so horrible to go through. One of my best friends had a late term miscarriage with twins at 19 weeks & it’s tragic. I hope Lily finds a good high risk doctor to help her. My friend did & she’s now having her 2nd baby. I dont know what the medical term is for this but they basically stitch your cervix up at a set amount of weeks (for my friend, it was 13 weeks) to prevent a miscarriage, then after 36-37 weeks, they remove them & let natural labor progress. Sometimes bed rest is required for a while but not always. If anyone knows the medical term, please say it so it may help others! Thank you!

I hope one day Lily has the healthy baby she so wants…

Maria on November 2nd, 2010

A miscarriage can not even be COMPARED to a stillborn. Wow. I can’t believe people are saying losing a tiny first trimester EMBRYO is the same as losing a viable CHILD. Wow, just wow.

Mel on November 2nd, 2010

I keep coming back to this post because I simply cannot believe it. I have read comments from all of you who have experienced a loss late in pregnancy. I just have to say that I think you are the strongest women I could ever know.

I work in Labor and Delivery and when a mom comes in because she has not felt the baby move, no heartbeat at a routine visit or even preterm labor that we can’t stop it is devastating. To watch you all go through labor knowing you will not be taking your baby home breaks my heart everytime. I admire all of you for having the courage and strength to go through it again. I think it would be hard to enjoy future pregnancies as much. I think everyone believes they are in the clear once they get past the three month mark and especially once they reach that 24 week mark, but sadly so many things can go wrong that often cannot be explained. My thoughts and prayers go out to anyone who has experienced a loss of a child at anytime.

Cris Doula on November 2nd, 2010

My God, that is soo sad. Im so sorry for her and her family =(

Shelly on November 2nd, 2010

I cried a few tears for everyone while reading through the comments. I hope Lily knows how many people are thinking and praying for her, myself included.

simi on November 2nd, 2010

What is so sad to me is reading about all the other women that have suffered the same loss as Lily. My thoughts are with each and every one of you, as they are with Lily.

My grandpa once told me about my uncle that I never met (he was killed in a war) that no parent should outlive their child, it too hard and you never truly move on cause you miss them everyday. I was nine at the time and did not understand, but looking at my 15 year old who just gave me a hug and kiss goodnight I know what he meant. I could not live with myself if something was to happen to him, or see my life without him. I may have never given birth in my life and I was 14 when I adopted and immigrated to Canada with him out of Bosnia, but he is my son, and life without him would be empty.

I hope that each and everyone of you, who was brave enough to share your stories with us, fine peace in your life, and hopefully a child of your own to love.

Tee I am sorry to hear what you are going through, but trust me when I say this, since I myself do not believe in God, there is nothing wrong with praying for someone if they believe the same as you or not, cause at the end of it all, you are a great person that is just trying to help others and people like you are rare in this world. So thank you for thinking of all the others.

Belinda on November 2nd, 2010

This is devastating news…I feel absolutely terrible for Lily (and for all of you who have suffered a miscarriage or a stillbirth).

A close friend of mine endured a stillbirth at approximately 7 months – a little girl. It was the most heartbreaking time and she still thinks of her everyday. I have seen first-hand the devastating impact on a mother and father’s life, and wish that nobody had to go through that pain, let alone twice.

My thoughts and prayers are with Lily, her partner and her family during this awful time.

CelebBabyLover on November 2nd, 2010

HDJ- I think you said it best! Obviously a miscarriage is not the same thing as the lose of a baby who could probably survive outside the womb. And in some ways, yes, a stillbirth/neonatal loss is bound to be more difficult to cope with than a miscarriage.

However, that doesn’t make miscarriage any less devestating. My mother had two early miscarriages (both before the third month of pregnancy), and, as she will tell you, she and my dad lost two children, not two embryos! She also once told me this, which I think is beautiful, and sums up what people have been saying about how losing a non-viable child is still devestating perfectly: “It doesn’t matter how long you were pregnant, or if wasn’t ‘meant to be’. It was a child to you, even if you were only pregnant a few months”.

Before anyone jumps on me, my mother’s remark isn’t meant to imply that once you lose a baby, it’s no longer a child to you. It was just her way of saying that, during the couple of months she was pregnant, she had a child growing in her. It wasn’t just an embryo to her.

Anyway, my heart aches for Lily and Sam. I hope someday they get the child they so despretly want.

Carrie Jo on November 2nd, 2010

Oh no! That is such terribly sad news! I gave birth to a boy this past January and remember well being pregnant this time last year. It should be filled with joy and anticipation, not grief and loss!

Lynn Marie on November 2nd, 2010

My heart is aching. As a mom who lost her first baby at 26 weeks (stillbirth due to preeclampsia complications) I know how heartbreaking it is. No words can describe the profound feeling of loss. My thoughts are with her & her family.

Eliza on November 2nd, 2010

My heart and prayers go out to Lily and Sam. What a horrible thing to have to suffer emotionally and physically.

I recently suffered a miscarriage at 3 months and I can tell you that devastated does even begin to describe the feelings. Of course there is a difference between a miscarriage and a stillborn but emotionally I think most mothers that have lost a baby at some point during their pregnancy feel an indescribable loss no matter how far along they were. I never knew how much I could love someone I had never met and was with me for only a short time but trust me it is possible and from the moment I found out I was pregnant it was a baby I was carrying and not an embryo as some may suggest.

Miscarriage is one of the hardest things a woman can go through. I pray that those around Lily are thoughtful, kind and loving. So sorry.

Molly on November 2nd, 2010

You are in my thoughts Tee

jamie on November 2nd, 2010

its so so sad, feel so sorry for her, she is a legend, love her tunes and just her in general, thoughts are with her and her family at this terrible time

Ani on November 2nd, 2010

I read some of the comments here, but I had to stop because I almost cried. I am so deeply sorry for everybody who lost a baby. The first thing I did when I heared about Lily I called my sister. She’s now 38 weeks pregnant and I just wanted to check if everything’s okay with her and my unborn niece. I am very thankful for her almost healthy pregnancy.

Sheri on November 2nd, 2010

Tee ~ I reread your post to make sure I saw it correctly … that you are facing a terminal illness. I don’t know you, but please know I am praying for a miracle for you … God is a God of miracles. How selfless you are to think of others as you are facing such a mountain in your own life. God bless you, sweet one. As I posted earlier, I, too, lost my only child and I am also praying for Lily at this sad, sad time.

Jenn on November 2nd, 2010

My heart breaks for her and her partner. No one knows how she feels and it’s hard. I lost 2 sons when I was 4 months pregnant (2007 and 2008). I feel her pain. It’s not fair and not a good thing to have to know. May your little man fly high Lily and may you all find comfort some how, it’s not easy.

ZaraB on November 2nd, 2010

Such sad and shocking news… my heart goes out to Lily.

I must agree with the previous posters who’ve pointed out that a loss past 20 weeks is a stillbirth, not a miscarriage. As someone who’s experienced two early miscarriages (one at 4 weeks and one at 10 weeks) and the loss of a baby at 5 months, I can say that certainly for me, the two experiences can’t be compared. While I was sad after both miscarriages, the loss of my son so late in my pregnancy was utterly devastating, particularly given that I was in labour for 24 hours, and had to deliver a dead baby, who was named, whose birth was registered, and who we also held a funeral for. I will never forget being wheeled out of the delivery room, my son in my arms, when a nurse quickly ran up to me and threw a blanket over my baby, telling me that I ‘wouldn’t want to upset the other mothers’ – that is, the mothers who had just delivered healthy, live babies.

I’m so sorry for everyone else who’s lost a baby during pregnancy – such a heartbreaking thing to go through.

Sydney on November 2nd, 2010

Mel, I too keep coming back to this post. I keep reading the comments from all the women who have been through similar tragedies to Lily. I am currently applying to study to be a midwife. I hope I have the strength to help women like Lily and the commenters through the most difficult times in their lives.

Anonymous on November 2nd, 2010

Our thoughts go out to you.

D on November 2nd, 2010

As a mother of 2 angels myself I can say that a loss at any gestational age is just as devastating to that mother. Regardless of the circumstances or how far along you are, once you know you’re pregnant and you’ve been telling people that you are when you lose that child you’re now faced with a total different aspect. Instead you’re faced with answering questions like what happened, are you okay, etc.. Dr. Seuss said it best to me.. “A person is still a person no matter how small”.

To clarify with miscarriages you are not required by law to either bury or cremate your child, with a stillborn or neonatal loss which is what Ms. Allen had you ARE required by law to do so. So now not only did she have to endure labor and delivery but now she also faces burying this much loved and anticipated child. My heart breaks for her and Sam for the loss of their son.

Sophia on November 2nd, 2010

As far as the miscarriage/stillbirth comments go, I personally think that while the loss of a baby in the later stages of pregnancy may be more devastating in terms of the “realness” and imminence of that child’s arrival into your arms, every unborn child, whether the mother is three weeks pregnant or nine months pregnant, holds the potential of life, and of love, and of change, and of laughter, and of everything that is beautiful about mankind, and that that is what is so devastating about an unborn child’s loss, no matter what stage of the pregnancy it’s at. However that is just my personal opinion and I understand that other people believe more in “what’s meant to be will be” or that when it’s still an embryo and not medically “viable” it isn’t as tragic.

Anyway, Lily and Sam, and all the other women or couples who have suffered from the loss of a child at any stage of its life, are in my thoughts.

MiB on November 2nd, 2010

I feel so sorry for Lily and all parents out there who have suffered this kind of loss.

Cathy on November 2nd, 2010

As I said before, I lost a full-term child. But I think we should stop with the “….stillbirth is a bigger loss than miscarriage, etc…)

Grief is grief and cannot, and should not, be measured.

Debra on November 2nd, 2010

This is very sad and I am sorry for her loss. Maybe she should be tested for antiphospholipid antibody syndrome, a condition that can cause a woman to lose her fetus right up until giving birth. After suffering two miscarriages, I was diagnosed with this condition and was able to carry my son to term with the help of two daily injections of heparin during the pregnancy.

Natasha on November 2nd, 2010

To lose a baby at all is absolutely heartbreaking no matter what the circumstances are. Such terrible news. Let’s hope for peace for her and that “we” the public can give her privacy. I can’t begin to imagine what they are going through without my eyes welling up with tears.

Daisy! on November 2nd, 2010

This is awful news. So absolutly sad. My mother has lost two children, one during pregnancy and one at 3 months old. She said how she coped was by thinking of her hurt and grief and trying to reason instead of why her, why not her? What reason could she think of for another person to have this pain instead. It may seem a bit harsh but it worked for her.

thinker on November 2nd, 2010

I doubt anyone will read this- but it’s possible her baby was born alive and fought in the NICU. Who know’s if he was still or not- he could have been born weeks ago and have been fighting for his life. very sad

Mel Hieatt on November 2nd, 2010

What a terrible tragedy for Lily and Sam our prayers are with them. I hope doctors are able to find the cause of her late miscarriages so they can go on to have a family.

cristie rothweiler on November 2nd, 2010

I have been reading several articles that says she went to the hospital on Thursday, I have to agree with thinker that maybe the baby was born alive and then passed on Saturday. I have been trying to find out if there are any updates. I suffered a miscarriage in June 2008. I am very lucky to have my miracle baby who is now 5 months old.

dee on November 2nd, 2010

This is horrible. I hope she has a circle of people around her to support her. She was so far along as well. Good luck to Lily, she’s feisty and I know she will pull through and experience motherhood when it is meant to happen for her. May God be with her and her family.

Lauren on November 2nd, 2010

I am sorry for your loss. Heartbreaking. I know the feeling.

Zayas mommie on November 2nd, 2010

This is horrible news! Suffering a miscarriage is never easy but to have been this far along is heart wrenching….I pray that she will get through this tragic time and will, in time, be blessed with a healthy thriving bundle of joy!

Elisabetta on November 2nd, 2010

I am very sorry for your loss My heart is with you.

Looops on November 2nd, 2010

I too lost my son at 6 months pregnant 4 and a half years ago. My heart goes out to poor Lily and Sam, such a horrific thing to have to suffer.

I’m sure my boy will look after hers with all the other angels xxx

JMO on November 2nd, 2010

I too am wondering if the baby was born alive. It was said she canceled a concert benefit with Elton John due to a viral infection. I’m wondering if this infection was a danger to the baby so they decided it was best to get him out – I mean at 28 wks you think there is atleat a chance the baby will survive outside the womb as in many cases they can and do. Either that or the baby contracted whatever the virus was that Lily may have had.

reagan on November 2nd, 2010

Such a tragedy. So sorry for their loss.

CelebBabyLover on November 2nd, 2010

Mel Hieatt- I hope they find out why Lily isn’t able to stay pregnant, too, but she actually has never had a late miscarriage. She miscarried her first baby early on (she never released the due date, but her rep said in the announcement that it was very, very early on….and the announcement of the miscarriage came just a month or two after that, which suggests it happened in the first trimester).

And the loss she just suffered was either a stillbirth or a neonatal loss (as other posters have pointed out, we don’t know any of the details). A pregnancy loss that occurs far enough along in the pregnancy that the baby could potentially survive outside the womb is most definitely not a miscarriage!

And if it was a neonatal loss, then talking about the loss as if it were a miscarriage is just wrong, IMO.

Anyway, I was just reading about her first loss….And I discovered that it happened in Janaury 2008. The baby that she just lost, as we all know, was due in Janaury. January is going to be a very hard month for Lily!

I also want to say that I agree with some of the other posters that miscarriage, stillbirth, and neonatal loss happen far more often than anyone of us would like to think. I myself know of five different people who have had some type of late-term loss…..and two of them had/have had (I used both past and present tense because one is my great-grandmother, who has been dead for several years) TWO late-term losses (three were stillbirths, and one was a case where the baby was born and died shortly after, due to prematurity and a heart defect.).

And I know several people who have had early miscarriages. It’s so sad that so many precious babies are lost! I hope that research keeps being done about the causes of miscarriages, stillbirths, and neonatal deaths. I know that obviously not every miscarriage, stillbirth, and neonatal loss can be prevented it (nothing, for example, can prevent chromosome abnormalities), but hopefully someday more of them can be prevented!

And Lily, if you’re reading this, know that lots of prayers are being said for you right now. Also, you have a beautiful angel in heaven, and I know that he will watch out for you.

Karen on November 2nd, 2010

Why is this even on here? Give the girl a break and let her have some privacy.

shan on November 2nd, 2010

This news is absolutely devastating…and has been on my mind since I first read of it yesterday, I know how she is feeling right now, I had a miscarriage when I was 7 weeks a few years ago, shortly after that I got pregnant and now have my beautiful 5 year old son, but when me and my husband tried to have a sibling for my son and I suffered another miscarriage when I was 5 months along and the doctor couldnt explain why it happened…that was just during the summer, I am now currently 6 weeks pregnant and trying to do my best about not worrying or fearing another miscarriage, but it’s always on my mind, whether it was 7 weeks or 5 months I still think about the babies I lost, you will never get over the loss of the beautiful angels, but you will learn to live the best you can with the loss. My thoughts are with Lily and Sam and her family and friends right now take all the time you need to heal and dont feel you have to get past this sooner than you are ready.

sam on November 2nd, 2010

Tee as you pray for us we pray for you. I hope you make it, what ever it is you are going through, I hope you get to see you nieces grow up to be amazing women. And someday find a child that was yours to begin with. I adopted and have bio children and I can tell you love you feel for both is the same. Some children are born from your body others are born in your heart.

Lily if you ever read this any of it know that there are many people in this world thinking of you, praying for you and Sam. And hope that someday you may find the courage to try again to be a mom, and when you do that it will be what you always wanted, a healthy beautiful baby, someone you get to teach about a big brother that now sleeps with the angels

kendrajoi on November 2nd, 2010

Terrible loss. So sorry for her and her BF. I had a m/c really early and that was hard enough.

Vanessa on November 2nd, 2010

How terrible!! I’m pregnant with my first and due 12/5. I can’t imagine how difficult this must be. My thoughts are with her and her family during this difficult time. :’(

etsy on November 2nd, 2010

I’ve heard you say that you always wanted to have children and be a mother. Don’t think for a minute that you are not a mother…..sadly, a mother who has lost children, but still a mother. I hope you both heal and find peace.

AL on November 3rd, 2010

Absolutly heartbreaking, theres nothing else to say. Bless them all.

sat on November 3rd, 2010

Heartbreaking I am sending support and love to all who have experienced this tragedy.

Rebecca on November 3rd, 2010

I am so sorry for such a completely devastating event. My heart breaks for you. May you stay strong and never give up.

Rebecca on November 3rd, 2010

PS Tee – May God bless you, I will keep you in my prayers.

Lynda M Catalano on November 3rd, 2010

My Deepest Sympathy’s go out to Lily and her family for their terrible loss~!!! I was so happy to read she was pregnant again becaue I had read she had a loss (and this is more than a miscarriage it is called a fetal demise when you are beyond 24 weeks.) I unfortunatly know about this myself after having a Amnio three years ago at age of 36 with my third pregnancy),and a loss at 25 weeks. I actually had to either have surgery or have labor induced because the baby was already a little over a pound.) I pray for her and her family as I know God will Bless her with children one day. My husband and I, at the time never thought we could be happy again But, Four months later we got pregagnt again with a Baby Boy who is now a healthy two year old~!!! God Bless You

Chante' on November 3rd, 2010

Wow I was almost to tears when I saw that she lost another baby. I’m so sorry to hear this awful painful news as I too am expecting a boy in January. My prayers are with you and your family and I pray that GOD blesses you and your family with babies soon.

Larissa on November 3rd, 2010

Devasting ,heart breaking,I still cannot believe it!
Stay strong Lily, just hold on to the thought that even tho he won´t be there in your arms he will forever on be and live with you in your heart! You are in my prayers!

Holly on November 3rd, 2010

My heart goes out to you both. May you find peace somehow.

Rowan on November 3rd, 2010

When I read this had happened my blood absolutely ran cold. I was so pleased to hear she was pregnant again, even though I’m not specifically a fan and don’t follow her career. I had a miscarriage earlier this year, at 10 weeks a scan found the baby had died. I had no signs anything was wrong and the shock was devastating. I am now 18 weeks pregnant with a second baby and had just started to feel more positive – this pulled me up. One loss you can put down to bad luck, but another, especially so late on when she may have let herself believe all was okay is just so crushing.

I haven’t bought a single thing and I cringe when anyone asks me about the baby. Sadly, after any loss, you never fully relax. I don’t know Lily Allen, but I am certainly thinking of her and sending her my love. I hope she can find the courage, and that’s what is needed, to become pregnant again when she’s ready. It takes a huge amount of bravery to go into this for a second time. But for those of us who want to be Mums, we have to face it.

I read somewhere, after my miscarriage, that if it was a baby to you, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks or says. Whether you were pregnant for a week or 9 months, the loss still tears you apart because you were a mother, you imagined your child, you maybe even saw that child moving on a scan and felt it wriggling about inside you, you woke up in the night and knew it was moving and you felt like you were not alone anymore. I would rather lose again, if I had to, early on when I had not had chance to bond with the baby or see it on a scan, but many women feel an early loss so deeply, particularly if they have found it hard to get pregnant and the baby is much wanted.

For all women who have miscarried or had a stillbirth, you were, are, and always will be a Mother and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

nightangel73 on November 3rd, 2010

I’m so sorry Lily Allen for your loss. I walked the same sad path that you did a month ago so I understand and feel your pain. We don’t know why things like this happen but try to remember that life still has a lot of happiness to offer. It WILL get better.

Rebecca on November 3rd, 2010

I wish all the comments about miscarriage vs stillbirth could stop. We all know, now what the difference is. We don’t need it repeated over and over 31 comments after the first one. Also, each person feels things differently so we can stop with those comments too.

I suffered through a miscarriage at 9 weeks and it was very hard because we were so excited and told everybody, then had to go back to everybody and tell them I was no longer pregnant. I perfectly understand why women choose to wait to confirm their pregnancies. The questions of “what happened?” were just too much for me.

With that being said, I have a 4 year old daughter that often talks about her other mommy, being in heaven and getting ready to come to me. It’s amazing, and I absolutely agree with a previous poster that said perhaps this baby was not ready to be born or be in this world

My deepest sympathies to Lily and Sam. I hope they can find comfort somehow, and I hope they are blessed with a child of their own somehow, someday

Jamie on November 3rd, 2010

I was so saddened by this news. I remember the hard time she had after her early miscarriage. When she announced she was pregnant again I was really excited for her and now this happened and it all just seems so cruel.

I’m due at the end of December with a little boy and I can’t even imagine what she’s going through. I’m absolutely terrified of a stillbirth because I know it is still a possibility that I have no control over basically. People tell me not to worry because the odds are much more with me having a healthy baby but I always think that mother who had the misfortune of having her child stillborn too probably thought the same thing “It won’t happen to me.” It’s sad that such things really are more common that people think.

I pray Lily and Sam can get through this together and they find the strength. I know if I were in her shoes I don’t know that I could make it. It’s something no mother should ever have to go through.

CelebBabyLover on November 4th, 2010

Rebecca- The only reason people are still making the miscarriage vs. stillbirth comments is because other people are still saying (or at least were up until now) that this loss was a miscarriage….and it isn’t. Once people stop saying this was a miscarriage, I can almost guarantee that the, “This was a stillbirth or neonatal loss” comments will stop, too. That being said, I DO see your point!

Rown- “that if it was a baby to you, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks or says. Whether you were pregnant for a week or 9 months, the loss still tears you apart because you were a mother, you imagined your child, you maybe even saw that child moving on a scan and felt it wriggling about inside you, you woke up in the night and knew it was moving and you felt like you were not alone anymore.” That, in a nutshell, is what my mom (who, as I’ve mentioned before, had two early miscarriages) has said to me before.

Tee on November 4th, 2010

Simi, Sheri, Sam, Molly and Rebecca- Goodness, way to make a girl cry! I so appreciate all of your kind words, thoughts and prayers. My heart breaks for everyone that has lost a child. Just the thought of having a hysterectomy when all I’ve ever wanted is to be a wife and mother is devastating. If I’m grieving so much over something I didn’t have to begin with, I can’t imagine the grief that those of you that have lost children must feel.

Penelope’s death is without a doubt the hardest thing I’ve ever faced. I love my nieces more than I knew I could love anyone. My sister is my best friend and holding her hand as we walked down that road together was next to impossible. I love that little girl so much and will have the honor of being buried beside her and greeting her in Heaven!

Yes, the Lord is tremendous and provides in amazing ways. I spent most of today at the emergency room with some severe pain and heart trouble. (Blood pressure of 170/120!) I’ll freely admit that I’m quite depressed this evening. Your comments lifted me up and for that, I’m so grateful. I pray that Lily might read these comments one day and be lifted up as well. Please forgive my boldness in asking, but I would greatly appreciate prayers for my mother, father, sister, brother in law and nieces. In a way, this is much harder on them than it is on me. It hurts to see them have to watch my health deteriorate, knowing that it will be coming to an end soon. All I want is for them to be at peace with what’s happening.

“Live like you are dying” is an overused expression but it’s so true. Being terminal has changed just about every part of me and all for the better. Make each moment count because you just don’t get them back.

Sydney- I’m so glad to hear that you’re studying to be a midwife! I was too until I became disabled. It’s an amazing experience, to get to walk a woman through her pregnancy and delivery. There’s nothing quite like it, in my opinion!

Minami86- That stitch is called a cerclage.

Niko on November 4th, 2010

Devastating news to hear. I’m so sorry:-((

Dana on November 5th, 2010

My baby boy was stillborn on June 1, 2010, so I know the pain that Lily and her boyfriend are going through. My heart aches for them. I hope that they can discover the amazing support that is available for baby loss Mom’s online. There is nothing like talking to another baby loss Mom who understands exactly how you are feeling.

It seems like it will never get better, but it does get easier to bear and to live with, but it never leaves you and forever changes who you are.

lisa on December 1st, 2010

I know first hand the devastation of such loss….I hope that the couple seek the best advice possible about the future they have as parents….Also, allow yourself the time to grieve and go through the process …there is no time frame for “ok”…you will never forget nor feel whole about the loss but you find a new “normal”….My deepest thoughts of peace go out to you BOTH…it is true that all things happen for a reason though it may never make sense to us…

Kate on March 17th, 2011

Actually, Sarah, in Britain if your baby dies in utero before 24 weeks it is considered a miscarriage. We don’t have any legal recognition of stillborn babies in this country – your baby only gets a birth/death certificate if they were alive at birth, there’s no such thing as a stillbirth certificate. However, Lily was past this 24 week limit so it is annoying that people keep referring to it as a miscarriage when it was clearly a stillbirth.