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Mark McGrath’s Blog: Our Fertility Journey, Part 2

10/06/2010 at 09:00 AM ET
Lydon and Hartley on April 29 — Courtesy Carin Kingsland

We’re glad you’re enjoying the stories our newest celebrity blogger Mark McGrath has to share.

The Sugar Ray frontman is proud papa to 5-month-old twins Lydon Edward and Hartley Grace, his children with fiancée Carin Kingsland, as well as the new host of Don’t Forget the Lyrics!, airing weekdays on VH1 and in syndication.

In his third blog, McGrath, 42, wraps up his account of the fertility struggle he and Carin went through in their effort to become parents.

 

Getting Started

So here we go — Carin and I are going to take our first (and last) shot with IVF. We are a few days away from the second leg of Sugar Ray’s ’09 summer tour, and it’s time for the first step in the process … hormone injections.

Though Carin is my sweet angel the majority of the time, she does have her moments when it’s her time of the month. Let’s just say that with her doubling up on the hormones, it wasn’t the worst thing in the world to be headed back out on the road with the band!

In addition, when I saw the size of the Pulp Fiction-adrenaline style needles that needed to be plunged into her derrière, I was happy to relinquish the job to her capable friends. Dr. Ghadir’s staff was very helpful, and there is nothing more powerful than the collective focus of close girlfriends with the sole mission of getting one of their own pregnant!

It may sound a little callous, or that I was abandoning her in her time of need, but I’ve always been amazed at Carin’s independence and strength. I have to say though, with all that we had been through, I really felt that the pregnancy was just not going to happen.

It was so strange to be living this fantasy rock life each night, playing to adoring fans and traveling on a tour bus, while simultaneously trying to start a real life at home. Carin was a trooper while I was away … she had some sleepless nights, we had some short conversations, and she only threw my stuff out of the house twice!

The tour began to wind down, Carin was militant in her hormone process, and though I was still riddled with doubt, it was time to pay the piper.

Unexpected Good News

My second day back, we had a doctor’s appointment. As we entered Dr. Ghadir’s office, the last thing on my mind was that my life was about to change (it’s such a trip to recall this and write about it as I hear Hartley starting to wake up in the nursery)!

I thought there would be some disappointment, crying and then some frozen yogurt recovery. Simply given the facts of our medical history, we were looking at a long shot at best.

First thing that morning, we went to have Carin’s blood drawn. Normally, it takes several hours to get your results back, but Carin worked her magic and sweet-talked — in Spanish — the male nurse into running the test quickly. As we sat in Dr. Ghadir’s office talking to him, the nurse came in and slipped him a note, which he excused himself to read.

When he came back he had the great news … Carin was pregnant! We shot this slightly shaky iPhone video (with a little help from Dr. Ghadir) right after we found out:

 

 

Now at that time, we didn’t know what we were having but we did know our chances of having twins were high because we had transferred three embryos. However, Carin’s hCG (human chorionic gonadotropin) levels were at the normal numbers for a singleton baby. PHEW!

Reality Hits – Times Two

Time for another wait — 10 days until Carin’s first ultrasound. “All right, let’s take a look,” Dr. Ghadir’s assistant Helen said as we took our seats in the ultrasound room. When you undergo such an emotional journey, it’s hard not to become close to the people involved — in fact, the lines get blurred between staff and friends. We could actually feel the love and support from everyone in the office, and Helen was no exception!

“Ohhh, there we go,” said Helen. “There we go what?” I thought, staring at the screen pretending to know what I was looking at. “Congratulations guys, it’s twins!” Helen exclaimed. It couldn’t be true! I was shocked. How could that be? Are you sure?!

I went numb. Everything was surreal. I’m gonna be a dad. Carin is going to be a mom. We need to get married right away! How am I going to pay for this? I need to call everybody. Are you sure, Helen?!

As I slowly came around, I was so proud as I gazed at Carin over breakfast — it was her faith and commitment to the process that was giving me the two most beautiful blessings in the world. One thing I was sure of as I entered a new universe of uncertainty … I most definitely had the right partner.

Family shot shortly after the twins were delivered on April 29 — Courtesy Carin Kingsland

 

– Mark McGrath

 

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Showing 50 comments

Jill on

I am SO happy for you guys – and thrilled that you got pregnant with twins on your very first try at IVF. I know so many people who have had to go through many, many, costly rounds of IVF to get pregnant so it is so nice to hear that it can work on the first try! Your twins are beautiful and congrats again!

tink1217 on

such a wonderful story!!!!!!!! so happy for you guys!! Wish I could catch Sugar Ray at Epcot while you are there, I live here in Orlando…but time will not allow!!! Love love love on those two miracles!!!!!!

megan on

Congrats! My husband and I also had to go through IVF and it worked the first time too! We have twin girls that were born 12/7/08 :)

Janelle on

So, I’ve been reading these Blogs ever since Mark McGrath started them and as I was half way through reading this one, I find myself bawling. Not because I was sad or going through the same issues as he and his girlfriend was, but because I was so extremely happy for them. I think you’ve found a new profession. You’ve made me (a single and childless female) feel every emotions you were going through. Congrats on the babies and keep these blogs coming.

Momof3 on

Such a beautiful recollection of their journey. It took 3 rounds of IVF before my husband and I were blessed with twin boys. Several months later, I found out I was pregnant again!! Our 3rd miracle baby arrived 13 months after his brothers. Stories like Mark and Carin’s give people hope and it’s so important to talk about it!!

deb on

nice to hear a successful story. We tried IVF but did not work for us. Don’t know if we will ever try again, kind of given up hope.

Marjorie on

Love this blog! Spoken from the heart!

baby lover! on

I love Mark! He’s such a great guy! Congrats on the beautiful babies!!

kjc on

What a great video to shoot. Thank you for posting such a personal moment between you and Carin – and I hope she got that Diamond too!

Shawna on

Absolutely lovely story. Congratulations to you both on your double blessings!

Angie on

Wow! AWESOME! I can’t be happier for two people that I don’t even know! It’s just that your blog is so genuine – for a guy. So honest! I’m truly glad for you!

Josie on

Great Pt.2…So happy for you guys…wish all kids could be this wanted by their parents!

Ashley on

I love the open honesty Mark uses to share his story.

Kristen on

I love reading your blog. I can totally relate to it. My husband and I went through IVF 4 times before finally bring our son Xander into the world this past May. It was such an emotional rollercoaster. My husband was a real trooper about giving me shots. For me, it was probably the worst part of the entire process. Our doctor’s staff became more like friends also, especially after trying for over 5 years. It so nice to see that we are not alone. What an amazing journey with a happy ending.

Keep the updates coming!!

Tiffany on

Dear Mark,
Thank you for being a wonderful celebrity blogger. I enjoy reading your blog everytime it’s printed. I have to say that you are wonderful father. Your son and daughter are blessed to have you and Carin in their lives.

I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. I was diagnosed when I was 24 years old. To hear that shattered my world because I can have children but the chances are slim for me. My boyfriend and I are looking forward to the day that we get the news that we are going to have a baby or two. Maybe even four (That is our magic number). It gives me hope that with the success of IVF that you had, I will have that same success. You and Carin were playing the odds and the odds won!! You have two adorable babies that God gave to you. Hopefully, God will do the same for me. You and Carin are truly my inspiration!!!

ellen on

Congrats! God is good ALL THE TIME. Take good care of His babies!!

Alejandra Awad on

Congratulations on your beautiful Family!

natasha on

Awwwwwwwww! It must’ve been so exciting hearing about having twins.

Chloe on

What a wonderful blog! thank you so much Mark, for your openness about infertility and IVF! Our second IVF worked, we are pg with twins! So great to read your success story and see your proud face with your babies!

Julie on

Congratulations! Reading your blog has brought back so many memories. My husband and i went through 3 rounds of IVF before getting pregnant with our twin girls. They are 16 months now. Thank you for telling your story. I look forward to reading this each week. I know IVF can be very costly but for those who didn’t succeed on the 1st try don’t give up hope. After my 2nd failed attempt it was very hard emotionally and financially to try again but I’m glad I didn’t give up and each morning I’m reminded and my little miracles were worth every penny and every tear.

Brookie on

What a great story! So glad it worked out for them! And Mark, you are a wise man. It is not a good idea to get in the way of a woman trying to make a baby! When we commit, we commit :) CONGRATS!

victoria on

aw that video made me cry!!! ( I am sucha sap) =)
Thanks to mark and carin for sharing a very personal story- I have far too many friends that too have had to look to alternate methods to concieve- bringing it out in the open is so important

mdmor on

SO happy for you!! I was totally tearing up reading this, but the fact that you shared the video totally had me bawling. Bless you and your beautiful family and for sharing such a personal story. You are helping more people than you probably know. Now go kiss those beautiful snuggly babies! They are lucky to have such loving and committed parents.

Renae on

Congrats on your beautiful hard fought for family and the poignant and personal way you expressed and shared with us.

Maggi on

Congratulations to you both! Your story is WONDERFUL and I’m so glad it worked out. The babies are beautiful! Isn’t the feeling of KNOWING that they’re coming, being excited to meet them, and then finally SEEING and HOLDING them the most AMAZING thing in the world? And I also hope Carin got that diamond too…LOL! VERY well written and expressed Mark…maybe you should turn this blog into a book?

Jill on

Ahhh…..finally stopped crying…..That video was beautfiul.

Your story gives me and so many others hope. I am so happy that you are blogging here. For the first time, I am enjoying and can connect with a blogger. You pour so much out of your lives into this blog and I am grateful for that. Thank you so much for sharing. I look forward to your blogs every week.

Brandi on

Reading your blogs just gives me so much more excitement about the upcoming arrival of my twins (boy & girl as well!). my husband and i had success w/ IVF the first try and reading how you reacted reminds me so much of our reactions. I cannot wait to read more!

Yoli on

Reading your story is making me cry–AT WORK!! lol.

I am so happy it worked for you and Carin. It truly is such a blessing. My husband and I went through our very first round of IVF and were currently expecting our little miracle in April.

As a previous poster noted, infertility is alot more common than people think..its just never talked about. its so important to bring it out in the open. Thank you for sharing your story!

Mary on

What a wonderful blog this has been! I teared up reading this, and could not be happier for you and your family. Thank you so much for sharing this with all of us! Can’t wait to read more.

Kristine on

Mark and Carin…thanks for being so open about your struggle with infertility and being so honest throught the journey. Many people struggle with having a child and many keep it private. I had the mind set that it was NOT going to happen for me either. I grew teary eyed reading your blog and enjoyed it. Honestly, I think you should consider writing a book about infertility from the father’s view…no matter rock star or average Joe we all have issues and they cost us all for the pure joy of hearing that baby cry! No matter how rough the days, remember your words about Carin “you most definitely had the right partner.” Sounds like you were raised right Mark. Enjoy.

Luna on

Wow, I got chills reading this especially the line about hearing Hartley in the other room as you recalled this time in your life. I have twins, naturally though, and three other kids, all natural as well. I am soooooooooooooooo happy for you guys. You are my favorite celebrity blogger here, and your writing style is so real. Carin is lucky to have you as a partner, and Lydon and Hartley are blessed to have a daddy like you. Keep doing what you’re doing because you’re doing it right. Congrats and what a beautiful story.

Tina on

To the woman who commented she has PCOS, I too have it. I found a WONDERFUL endocrinologist who put me on metformin, along with a diet and exercise plan, to regulate my hormones. After a LONG year of trying, my husband and I conceived. Our baby is due in just a few months and if it hadn’t been for my endocrinologist, I don’t know if I would have ever conceived. Don’t give up hope – find a doctor that will steer you down the right path!

Tristan on

Mark is a gifted story-teller! He really draws the reader in. I think he could have a second career writing books. Love his beautiful family.

DEBBIE on

**TO PREVIOUS POST FROM (DEB)**
I IMPLORE YOU “NOT” TO GIVE UP HOPE. EACH PERSON WHO HAS LEFT A POST HERE “KNOWS & UNDERSTANDS” HEARTBREAK AND DISAPPOINTMENT. I AM ONE OF THEM. 13 YEARS OF TESTS, PILLS, SHOTS, IUI, IVF, MISCARRIAGES, SURGERIES, ETC … I’VE DONE IT ALL! “UNEXPLAINED” INFERTILITY … aaagggghhhh … CAN DRIVE A CONTROL FREAK LIKE MYSELF CRAZY W/THAT STATEMENT. BUT ALAS .. MY HUSBAND AND I WANTED TO BE “PARENTS” SO MUCH MORE THAN I WANTED/NEEDED TO BE “PREGNANT”. A DOMESTIC ADOPTION (THAT TOOK 11 MOS) RESULTED IN A BEAUTIFUL, HEALTHY SON NAMED SAMMY, WHOM AS BEEN W/US SINCE 1 DAY OLD. GOD KNEW WE WERE STRONG, THAT WE HAD IT IN US TO “RESCUE” A LIFE AND THAT WAS THE PURPOSE HE NEEDED US FOR … AND I AM GRATEFUL!!! DEB … YOU WANT TO BE A PARENT … ??? YOU GO GET IT! YOU CAN DO IT!
PRAYERS AND BLESSINGS TO YOU … STAY STRONG, AND HOPE, BELIEVE … IT CAN HAPPEN!!

meghan on

Mark, you are a really engaging storyteller. If I were you, I’d write a book!

Mom2E on

Thank you so much, Mark, for your candor. All too often infertility is whispered about. Thank you for shouting to the world, and showing that those of us suffering (and conquering, through various methods) are not alone. I appreciate all of your facts, too, from transferring (NOT implanting) embryos, to mentioning hcg. You truly “get” the journey and understand just how much of a blessing your beautiful children are. Wishing you and Carin and lifetime of health and happiness with your new family!

sam on

To Deb posted previously,

Dear Deb,
Do not give up hope. Here is quick run down of my story. I was born in Bosnia (civil war from 1992-1995) a country that does not have the same child protection laws that you do. When I was six I was raped by my uncle. Living through war and concentration camp as not any easier, but I made it and moved to Canada in 1996. In 2005 I met the most amazing man who loves and accepts me as me and also happens to be a solider. From the day we met we knew we wanted kids together. But with my past and internal injuries that were never taken care of I was told it was not possible. We tried everything but nothing worked. A year ago we adopted a amazing 14 year old boy from Bosnia that I met living in one of the refugee camps and I just found out today that I am expecting sometime in June. Also my best friend that is like my sister, who also after trying everything to have a baby turned to adoption, found out today that all the paper work is done and she gets to travel to Ethiopia this weekend to go and pick up her son who is nine moths old. If you want to be a parent, and you want a family there is always a way as long as you have love in your heart. I know hope is hard and life can kick you when you are down. Days when you feel like everything is falling apart and you can not take another step forward. But it’s days like that that I look at the three symbols tattoo on my back LIVE HOPE DREAM. As long as there is breath in your body don’t give up hope and never stop dreaming. You have the love in your heart to want a child as long as that is there there will always be a way. You just have to find it. I wish you all the best, may life give you a little gold chain attached to your dream of being a mom, and I hope with all of my heart that that dream comes true for you.

Mark Thank you sharing your story with us. The world needs to see and hear more happy ending, with all the twists, turns, and bumps to get there. Look forward to reading more of your blog you truly to have a talent with words. Wishing you and yours all the best for a happy and health future.

Sam

Sherri P on

Never give up hope. I was diagnosed with PCOS and a high FSH level when I was 18 yrs old. I was devasted because all I ever wanted was to be a mom and now I was told my chances were very slim and if I did get pregnant there was a really good shot I’d miscarry because my hormones were so messed up. In fact my parents were awesome and paid to get my eggs harvested so someday I might get the chance to have kids.

Anyways, I got married a year ago this last August and my husband and I didn’t want to wait too long to have kids, I was 24 and was told that I pretty much needed to have all the kids I wanted by the time I was 30, and we wanted a big family. We had thought we might have been pregnant in November, and went to the doctor. I was told “No you aren’t pregnant and you have no uterine lining, there is no way you are getting pregnant right now.” They put me on birth control to get me to have a period and I finished and kept waiting for my period, I waited 2 weeks and it never came. I decided to buy a pregnancy test just to make sure I wasn’t pregnant so we could go to the doctor and find out what else was wrong with me. Much to my shock and awe the test came out positive. I was very hesistant to tell my husband, I didn’t want to get hopes up. I was also afraid of taking a second test for fear it wouldn’t say the same thing as the first. It did! We called the doctor and he ran the tests and they were positive too. In fact my HCG level was quite high, so the next week we went in for an ultrasound and to our shock and delight it was twins. Thanks to my doctor I knew I was high risk for miscarriage, the day after we found out we were pregnant they started me on progesterone shots (apparently the irht control actually kept me pregnant, it helped the hormone levels till we found out and could do more about it) and now my little boys are now sleeping as I write this, just after one of those 2 am feedings, that you kinda hate, but man I wouldn’t trade that for the world, even though they are well fed and still fussing a bit on and off. Don’t give up hope, miracles happen every day. I’m the proud mommy of 2 right now :)

guest on

I love Mark McGrath!! his blog made me laugh so hard and i know its because the homest truth that some people cant say is funny. he is honest. plus the last line that he has the right partner is very touching. he needs to write a book. Im so glad he ended up with her-but what Ive read about him is hes very smart, educated-his good sense lead him right. Carin is so cute too- hmm dating lead singer of Sugar Ray all these years-she should write a book.

Megan on

My husband and I have struggled with infertility for about 5 years. We have a almost 4 year old daughter(by fertility drugs and IuI) and love her so much that we can’t wait to have another one but; have been back with the fertility dr and not having any luck with this time. Unforutnly; we now have to wait b/c my husband lost his job and try again when he gets a new one. So, it’s heartbreaking every month wanting it so badly seeing everyone around you and hear everyone getting pregnant. But, hoping it will happen at some point. I still have age on my side so that helps. Congrats on your twins!

Bancie1031 on

Mark (and Carin!),
I’m loving your blogs! Thank you so much for sharing your story with us, not to mention your videos and wonderful pictures! I think it’s awesome that IVF worked for you the first time and you got not one but TWO beautiful babies out of your patience, determination and hard work(ok well according to Mark ;) that statement is directed more towards Carin LOL).

“I most definitely had the right partner.” – You and Carin are perfect together though I’m sure it wasn’t always an easy road :D You look like a match made in Heaven :D

Tamara on

So happy to hear this news. My husband and I had a very similar journey (I’m all too familiar with those horrifying needles; he’s happy to forget about my hormone-induced mood swings) and we’re now the proud parents of boy/girl twins also born within a day of Mark’s little ones. Congratulations to the happy couple!

Becca on

I’m such a girl! I’m sitting here teary at Mark’s story! Mark- it’s so obvious how much you love and admire Carin; thanks for sharing your story! I gotta admit, I’m not a Sugar Ray fan. But after reading your journey, I’m a Mark McGrath fan!! ;)

ALee on

Mark congratulations!! PLEASE MARRY THIS GIRL! she sounds amazing, and you two sound even more amazing together!!!!

Jessica on

I am 25 years old and I got married last year. I have wanted kids my entire life. My husband and I decided we would haver kids right away since he is 34 years old just so he can enjoy them while he is young. I was diagnosed with PCOS two months ago and was devestated. I cried when the doctor told me. My first thought was I am never going to have kids. Well I am two months out being treated with a bunch of medicine and waiting to see if this will work. She is giving me six months to see if I can get pregnant. We have decided to start the process of adoption. We dont want to wait forever just to figure out we cant have kids. We Know there is always a hope and God is the one that gives and if adoption is the way we are to go then we are so excited. I know that our child is out there. In Gods timing we will complete our family.

Sun on

Beautiful beautiful beautiful babies! Such an inspiring story, and so heartfelt. Can’t type anymore because I’m still teary-eyed. Love the blog, Mark. Keep it up.

Carol on

Congratulation on your twins. They are beautiful and precious. My husband and I had to go through IVF and we got pregnant the first round. Our two beautiful girls were born 12.09.08.

Sweet on

This is one of the best celebrity blogs I’ve seen on people.com. Not to throw stones on other infertile celeb couples, but Mark seems authentic, honest and grateful.

Angie Baker on

This made me cry! Congratulations. As a mother of twins, I will tell you that you are in for a TRIP! Hahah….but it’s all crazy fun. I wouldn’t change it for the world, they are a double blessing. Enjoy every minute.

Dawn on

Congratulations! I cant believe I stumbled upon this blog. We are current patients of Dr. Ghadir at Kaiser on Sunset. He also does IVF outside of Kaiser. He is a wonderful doctor! I am so happy to read of your success. It gives me great faith to believe in this doctor. Enjoy your babies to the fullest!

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"We weren't trying to have kids. We left it up to fate. I knew there was a possibility, but I was really excited. Even if you are trying, just to see a positive result is shocking!"

 

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